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"Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
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SportsNut 51 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 01:45 PM (EST)
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"Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Let me start by saying, I do NOT judge Cassie. Goodness knows I have made TONS of mistakes in my past and I'd like to think I've learned from them.

With respect to Antonia and her remarks to Cassie: While I think she was harsh, Cassie has to be prepared to answer these questions. Does she think her son isn't going to harbor some resentment towards her? She made a comment today that he said "why now"? Why now, indeed, Cassie? She really needs to dig deep and explain WHY NOW? Lots of people are upset with Antonia's remarks and her reaction to Cassie. I think Antonia brought up what many people would legitimately think when they hear Cassie story. It's much easier for a birth parent to waltz in AFTER the child is raised and develop a relationship with the child - sounds like a good gig to me. Let somebody else feed, clothe, comfort, care for and deal with the problems of her son for 19 years - now she can come back with no financial responsibility and become the hero. Again - I'm not judging her - just pointing out what this young man OBVIOUSLY has to think and she is folling herself if she doesn't think his reaction is going to be just as harsh (maybe not outwardly so) as Antonia.

By the way, didn't Cassie receive a letter from the adoptive mother that also included the son's signature? How could he sign something saying he didn't want to see her if he thought she was dead??

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... kree 04-26-06 1
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... petmama 04-26-06 23
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... sweet cheeks 04-26-06 26
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... SueNahMe 04-27-06 46
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Sues 04-26-06 2
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... smokeysmom 04-26-06 5
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Alerted1 04-26-06 21
           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... smokeysmom 04-26-06 24
               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Denalio 04-30-06 138
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... sweet cheeks 04-26-06 25
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... pmfmpls 04-28-06 83
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Juliejo 04-26-06 3
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... c27 04-26-06 4
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... SportsNut 04-26-06 6
           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... alaholly 04-26-06 7
               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Baxtera 04-26-06 9
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... ChristinaJB 04-26-06 8
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... kree 04-26-06 10
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Baxtera 04-26-06 11
           Good Luck Cassie nansmom 04-26-06 14
           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... cheesecake 04-26-06 38
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... ChristinaJB 04-26-06 39
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... MizJazmine 04-26-06 17
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... c27 04-27-06 80
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... sweet cheeks 04-26-06 12
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Bubs 04-26-06 13
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... smokeysmom 04-26-06 15
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Baxtera 04-26-06 16
           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Cleverone 04-26-06 27
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... AshLanie 04-26-06 18
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... eire_heart74 04-26-06 19
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... maryellennaco 04-26-06 20
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... dasboot 04-27-06 63
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... jonimoni 04-26-06 22
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Baxtera 04-26-06 28
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Cleverone 04-26-06 29
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... jonimoni 04-26-06 32
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... nikkidemus 04-26-06 30
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... alaholly 04-26-06 31
           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Twinkles 04-26-06 33
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Mrs B 04-27-06 58
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... 26mitogo 04-26-06 34
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... cheesecake 04-26-06 35
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... kfennessey464 04-27-06 67
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... alaholly 04-26-06 37
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... EMTBGRL 04-26-06 40
           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... desertdame 04-28-06 87
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Sues 04-27-06 77
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... JustBeingAuthentic 04-26-06 36
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... tac_2 04-27-06 41
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... dopeydwarf 04-27-06 42
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Omniscia 04-27-06 43
           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... kree 04-27-06 44
               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Baxtera 04-27-06 45
                   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... SportsNut 04-27-06 47
                   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... indyblu 04-27-06 48
                       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... amchess 04-27-06 49
                       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... EMTBGRL 04-27-06 55
                       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... cloudjumper 04-27-06 81
                           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... EMTBGRL 04-28-06 85
               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... BlueCollar Blonde 04-27-06 50
                   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Baxtera 04-27-06 51
                   stuck in 1970 PanchoVilla 04-27-06 59
           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Cleverone 04-27-06 76
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... BlueCollar Blonde 04-27-06 52
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... donnakala 04-27-06 53
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... loretta54 04-27-06 54
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... kree 04-27-06 57
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... annie828 04-27-06 56
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... tac_2 04-27-06 60
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Baxtera 04-27-06 61
           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... kree 04-27-06 62
               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Baxtera 04-27-06 65
               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... pmcollector 04-27-06 70
               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... EMTBGRL 04-28-06 86
               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Mrs B 04-28-06 88
               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... DivineWine 04-29-06 122
           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... tac_2 04-27-06 66
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... passion4 04-28-06 110
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... nevertolate 04-27-06 64
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... nikkidemus 04-27-06 68
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Sweeti 04-27-06 71
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... nevertolate 04-27-06 72
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... kfennessey464 04-27-06 69
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... nevertolate 04-27-06 73
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Cinnamongirl30 04-27-06 74
           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... mhb0125 04-28-06 82
               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Baxtera 04-28-06 84
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Cleverone 04-27-06 75
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Boots12565 04-27-06 78
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... nevertolate 04-27-06 79
           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Baxtera 04-28-06 89
               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... kree 04-28-06 90
                   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Baxtera 04-28-06 91
                       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... kree 04-28-06 92
                           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... zonkerpup 04-28-06 93
                               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... mirage3033 04-28-06 94
                                   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... standinmytruth 04-28-06 95
                                   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... tac_2 04-28-06 96
                                       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Zoey 04-28-06 99
                                   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Juliejo 04-28-06 97
                                       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Baxtera 04-28-06 98
                                           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... kalalala 04-28-06 107
                                   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... WaveSeeker 04-28-06 108
                           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... cndlgrl 04-28-06 101
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... DivineWine 04-29-06 123
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... started over again and again 04-29-06 135
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... jonimoni 04-28-06 100
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Labyrinth 04-28-06 102
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Baxtera 04-28-06 103
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Zoey 04-28-06 104
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Labyrinth 04-28-06 105
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Mrs B 04-28-06 106
           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Baxtera 04-28-06 109
               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Boots12565 04-28-06 111
               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Zoey 04-28-06 112
                   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Labyrinth 04-28-06 113
                   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... jonimoni 04-28-06 114
                       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Juliejo 04-28-06 115
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... snowflake2 04-28-06 116
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Boots12565 04-28-06 118
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... snowflake2 04-28-06 119
 RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... 26mitogo 04-28-06 117
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Boots12565 04-28-06 120
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Twinkles 04-29-06 121
           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Boots12565 04-29-06 124
               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Twinkles 04-29-06 126
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... mhb0125 04-29-06 125
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... mirage3033 04-29-06 127
           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... tac_2 04-29-06 129
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... 26mitogo 04-29-06 128
           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... PanchoVilla 04-29-06 130
               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... kalalala 04-29-06 131
                   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... jonimoni 04-29-06 132
                       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... kalalala 04-29-06 133
                   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... EMTBGRL 04-30-06 151
   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Zephyr 04-29-06 134
       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Cinnamongirl30 04-29-06 136
           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Shazbot 04-30-06 137
               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... kalalala 04-30-06 139
                   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... allenjo 04-30-06 140
                       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Baxtera 04-30-06 141
                           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... jonimoni 04-30-06 143
                       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Shazbot 04-30-06 142
                           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... SeasonedRefinement 04-30-06 144
                           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Zoey 04-30-06 145
                           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... 26mitogo 04-30-06 146
                               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Zoey 04-30-06 149
                   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... annie828 04-30-06 147
                       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... kalalala 04-30-06 148
                           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Baxtera 04-30-06 150
                               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... kalalala 04-30-06 152
                                   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Cinnamongirl30 04-30-06 153
                                       RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... DeltaDarkStar 05-01-06 154
                                           RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... kalalala 05-01-06 155
                                               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Mrs B 05-01-06 156
                                                   RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... Baxtera 05-01-06 157
                                               RE: Cassie and preparation for her ... annie828 05-01-06 158
                                                   WARNING - annie828 Cygnus X1 05-01-06 159
 Locking Cygnus X1 05-01-06 160

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Messages in this topic

kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

04-26-06, 01:54 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
LAST EDITED ON 04-26-06 AT 01:58 PM (EST)

I agree with you that Cassie will have to be prepared for those type of questions. I wonder what he's thinking after finding out his "dead" birth mother is really alive. He's going to be mad at Cassie, and at his adoptive mom especially for lying to him and to everyone else. Cassie did say that it was supposed to be an open adoption- and like you mentioned, whose signature was that on the LEGAL document? Not the sons apparently. Interesting. Everyone (not here) was so ready to blame Cassie, just like Antonia, and say oh she's worthless, what a loser, lying no good this and that. When really she's been telling the truth and trying to put her life together. She wanted to be around for her son- obviously not all the time- and was denied and lied to. I'm glad to see a little vindication for her after all the hell and judgement she's been through.

Antonia showed all the viewers what hate and judgement really looks like. It is blind, rude, dark minded and doesn't care who it hurts. It blames anyone in sight withought going through the trouble of thinking first. It's like a gun ready to go off on anyone. Antonia has probably treated others like that. Wait till she sees how it feels to get it thrown back at her.

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petmama 494 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 05:14 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
What really bugged me about Antonia's tirade was her comment about Cassie "not having it together enought" to keep her son. Cassie was only 22. Antonia, at 23, sure as hell doesn't have it together.
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sweet cheeks 130 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 05:32 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
EXACTLY !!!
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SueNahMe 0 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 08:59 AM (EST)
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46. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
There's a big difference in having it together financially and having it together mentally and physically. Cassie wasn't prepared mentally or physically to raise a child so she gave him up. I think Antonia's questions were on point. They were questions that anyone could have asked if given the chance.
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Sues 585 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 02:00 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I think the general consensous (sp?) is that the adoptive mother forged it, or didn't show him the first page. If Dustin truly said he thought his egg donor was dead then this is a possibility.

I was not upset by Antonia. Yes, I think her comments are more about her than Cassie, but as you (Sportsnut) said, these could be the same questions her 'son' has! Of course SO being the rah rah Cassie show, you can bet they'll either prep him (off camera) or find someway to smooth it over. Because the bottom line is...Cassie was in her 20's, not a teenager. So she couldn't 'get it together', not even after she got sober. She's been sober for 13 years and she still couldn't find a job or pay her own rent? She has nothing to offer this young man other than HER needs. She's already gearing up to make sure he knows how long she looked and how she's good and her heart is sooooo big. Nevermind what he feels or needs or any respect to the Mother. (even if it turns out she doesn't deserve it, shouldn't Cassie give it to begin with anyways?)
I wonder how he's going to feel when she starts saying 'I have a disease called alcoholism'....good grief! I suppose I should give her points for memorizing it...still doesn't explain the last useless 13 years....

*sigh*...but what the heck...maayyybbbeee he's just as much of a loser as her and they will live happily ever after in Rhonda's guesthouse...

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smokeysmom 184 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 02:28 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I agree with everyone here that Cassie will have some hard questions to answer -- although I imagine they won't have time to really delve into it on the little that's left of SO -- or want to since they seem to think her belated GED and Rented Room make her a saint.
I'm adopted, and from the generation where it was a huge secret / skeleton in the closet. My biological mother was my Mom's sister, and shortly after the adoption (I was 4, sister 5) we immigrated from Germany to US. My sister and I both somehow knew there was some missing history -- we were old enough to vaguely remember -- and very, very often asked our parents about it. They always lied and said "no, you're not adopted". Then, when we were 15 and 16 respectively we found some photos (in a drawer we were'nt supposed to look in) that made it VERY clear something was amiss. When we asked our parents, they finally, and very casually said "yes, you're adopted. Life goes on." And told us to get ready for Band practice.
While that was very hard, (think Germans!) we did go on, AND did love and appreciate our parents for being our true parents, after the dust settled.
I digress -- just wanted to say I feel this from a lot of different points of view. Anyhooooo -- I agree with someone else's post on these boards that Cassie's obsession with finding her son at this late date, and after 13 years of sobriety feels like stalking. I know SO pushed it for story -- but if I saw my biological mother baby voicing, whining and generally crazy acting about meeting me -- I would run for the hills. If I ever did meet mine -- I'd ask Antonia's questions, without the "I can't self edit" problem she seems to have. I know she's "just" 24 -- but jeeze -- count to 10 already! All IMHO.
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Alerted1 1 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 05:07 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Coming up for air out of the hell addiction puts people in, is an amazing feat. The fact that Cassie has been sober for 13 years and just now is able to search for her son, only speaks to the horror of addiction. It easily takes many former addicts a lifetime to find self respect, some never do.
Cassie no doubt has had to overcome self doubt and self loathing, and is now able to feel "good enough" to face her past.
Best of luck to Cassie and others like her.
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smokeysmom 184 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 05:18 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
You are absolutely right about that, and let's just say I know what you mean about coming out of addiction from personal experience. I think I didn't word that well when I linked 13 years of sobriety to the "stalking" feeling she was giving me. What I should have said is that after 13 years, and all the effort and growth that implies -- the intense, dramatic and almost desparate way she seemed to need it to happen NOW felt odd to me. I'm still not sure how she found him without cooperation (how did she know where he used to work?) -- as an adopted child it just made me feel a little queasy, and a she seemed so judgemental of the parents who no doubt tried to do the right thing -- only IMO. Thanks for clarifying that -- there's no time frame for healing, that's for sure!
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Denalio 903 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-06, 01:57 AM (EST)
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138. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I believe Cassie had to wait the 13 years because she had to wait until her son was 18 before she could try to contact him. I don't think she just sat around being sober for 13 years!

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sweet cheeks 130 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 05:30 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"

Well I think when Cassie adopted her son out to this couple
she was under the illusion it was an open adoption.
She signed papers and thought all this.
She thought she would be able to contact her son when he was old enough but instead the adoptive mother plain out lied to the boy.
She had no intentions of letting Cassie ever see him.
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pmfmpls 149 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 03:53 AM (EST)
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83. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Hmmmm....you're German, you played in a band, and you're tempted to run for the hills......are you Julie Andrews???

Just friendly teasing , of course. You're story sounds like a true challenge with a happy ending.

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Juliejo 477 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 02:00 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I dont' think Cassie was going to stop until she got to meet the son she gave up for adoption 19 years ago. They will either work it out or they wont. He may just be curious to see what she looks like and why she gave him up for adoption.
I adopted a boy when he was 7 years old. He was abandoned by his mother and when he was 17 years old she went to see him at his summer job without contacting me. He told her he wanted no part of her. He told her he had a life and family who loved him and that she had not been there for him when he was young and he sure didnt want any part of her now.
Then he came home from work and told me all about it.
So Cassie might want to get ready for a lot of questions. I think her son will be asking them. Some kids have a good relationship with their bio parents after adoption and some dont'. I think it is just an individual thing. Antonia is very very immature and she is angry over her father's lack of being a father to her. I feel very sorry for Cassie and I hope it works out well for her.
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c27 0 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 02:17 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I think Antonia was very harsh on Cassie and should have kept her mouth shut. I am very happy for Cassie. I am sure she is very scared. I hope everything goes well for her.
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SportsNut 51 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

04-26-06, 02:28 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
You guys have all pointed out some things and I agree. While Antonia IS projecting her own issues into the situation, in my opinion she only voiced what most of us would THINK but not actually SAY...Cassie seriously needs to prepare herself for what can come out of this. Yes - he could want a relationship with her but he is also probably going to have a LOT of anger and resentment. I hope SO can legitimately prepare her AND her son both for the ramifications of this "reunion"...somehow, I think they are in over their heads, however...just my opinion.
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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 02:51 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
People do the best they can with with they have to work with. Personally I can't stand to even watch Cassie on the show but I do think it caused her great pain to relinquish her son as a baby. I'm sure she has thought of him his whole life and wished she could have raised him. I think she searched for him as soon as she felt it was possible to do so.

But this is a very private matter. They should meet and talk and then decide what kind of a relationship they want together (if any). It is between the two of them and should NOT be aired on national TV. I sure wouldn't want cameras poking into my emotionally vulnerable moment.

As far as whether or not they should meet and know about each other...why not? It's like discovering any long lost relative. You may or may not like them or have anything in common with them but why not get to know them and find out. Can you ever really have too many people in this world who care about you?

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 03:06 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Antonia is just a jerk and needs to get over herself.

As for Cassie I've never been a huge fan because she's always made this about her needs and filling her desires and it's never been about her son.

The one thing I will say for Cassie is she did have enough strength some where in there to know she didn't have what it took to be a mother and knew enough to give her child up for adoption. Antonia can be as much of a horse's rear as she likes but I've met all too many kids who would have benefited from two mentally and emotionally stable as well as chemically free parents to know that Cassie gave her son a great gift. If she was unable to keep herself afloat those 13 years imagine what the life of a baby, toddler and teen would have been like with her. Children shouln't be the reason for parents to get sobor. It's too much of a burden to put on a child. Children need parents who are ready to be parents not parents who are working at getting ready for 13 years.

My issue with Cassie is once she gave the gift of freedom from having to raise an acholic/drug addicted parent to her son that she then tried to take it back. She owes some tough answers to her son. She owes Antonia a slap across the face.

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ChristinaJB 158 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 02:59 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
You know, in a way, Antonia gave Cassie a great gift - she put it out there - this might be what your son throws in your face...I was proud of Cassie. She said what she believed and that is all she could do.

It's sad, there aren't any winners in this situation. This poor kid's gonna be torn apart now, with the adoptive manipulator mom and now a new birth mom. I feel for him.

I HOPE to GOD they take care of Dustin and Cassie, emotionally speaking because they are going to need Dr. Stan, that's for sure.

I just want to say how touched I was watching the honest emotion coming from Rhonda. I could see it on her face, how excited and near tears she was while Cassie was telling the other women about her son contacting her. Cassie is so lucky to have their support.

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kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 03:43 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
What a compassionate viewpoint- I feel so good hearing someone say all of that! Thank you! Perhaps Rhonda has such a loving viewpoint (as you do) is because of her past. She knows better than to just judge someone- and that it is harder and more healing to put trust out there. The HG's seem to really love Cassie- all of them that she's encountered (and she's seen a lot!). They say you can fool some people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but not ALL the people ALL the time. We out here in tv land, like Antonia, think we know Cassie and should judge her, but we don't really know her. My gut feelings have always been that she is a very destroyed, but lovely, person. She is brave enough to pick up the pieces and try to fix her life.

Antonia has so much room to judge doesn't she? The really wrong part of her tirade was that it wasn't even Cassie that she was talking to, it was her father. She attacked someone she didn't even know and THOUGHT she had a reason. Wrong! Then she went on to make fun of Cassie saying alchoholism is a disease, well so is shopping all the time!!!!!!!

Anyway, thank you for your great words! Sometimes I feel alone in my viewpoint of Cassie.

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 03:57 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Cassie has lots of real raw emotional pain over what happened in her past and over the loss of her son but it isn't her son's to bare and that's what has always concerned me about a Cassie/son reunion. Not that Cassie isn't legitamate about wanting to be there for him but that her needs might not be compatible with his needs and as a mother she needs to put his needs first and she hasn't exhibited that any time she has been on the show. That's always been behind my concern is that from all that's been said about him his a fragile kid and Cassie is none to stable herself. Will her needs overwhelm him?
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nansmom 8 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 04:10 PM (EST)
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14. "Good Luck Cassie"
LAST EDITED ON 04-26-06 AT 04:11 PM (EST)

I too have had compassion for Cassie, in spite of the voice, etc. I hear stories of people reuniting with their adopted Adult children all the time, so why is it so odd that Cassie is has been doing it? I've heard that it usually takes many years to make contact, even if the adoptive family is open to the process. Good luck Cassie

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cheesecake 12 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 10:46 PM (EST)
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38. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
<<as a mother she needs to put his needs first>>

she has to meet him to find out what his needs will be.

<<That's always been behind my concern is that from all that's been said about him his a fragile kid and Cassie is none to stable herself>>


I put a lot of faith in Dr Stan. I am sure he is a professional
psychiatrist and will guide the two of them.

have faith baxtera, think positively for them.

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ChristinaJB 158 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 10:54 PM (EST)
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39. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Don't get me wrong...I blasted her earlier in another post! haha!
It did really upset me to see her attacking Cassie like that(I just feel protective of Cassie)...but then I started thinking and this will be what is coming down the line to her, unfortunately.

I just want Cassie to get to see him. I have a son and I can't imagine not seeing him grow up. My mom was an alcoholic and I was raised by her and let me tell you, I would really rather have been adopted out. But in the end - we are all just human beings doing the best we know how to do at the time, and that was how Cassie made her decision. I can't judge that.

Like another poster said, whether or not we agree with what Cassie did or didn't do, it was HER moment and I feel like Antonia really blew it. She needs to think before she speaks. Not everything that comes to mind should be blurted out.

But then again, I'm perfect, so I can judge.
Wink

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MizJazmine 532 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 04:29 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
LAST EDITED ON 04-26-06 AT 04:35 PM (EST)

>You know, in a way, Antonia
>gave Cassie a great gift
>- she put it out
>there - this might be
>what your son throws in
>your face...I was proud of
>Cassie. She said what
>she believed and that is
>all she could do.
>

ChristinaJB...I agree with you on this point. I was thinking the same thing. While Antonia has her own issues, Cassie needs to know that not every one is going to say, "that's great!". But it does help her to be better prepared in the future for such responses. It also gives Cassie the opportunity to consider what emotions she may have to deal with regarding her biological son immediately or down the road.

I'm happy for Cassie on one hand, but then I just feel "something" I'm not sure what on the other hand....Maybe it was the idea of Cassie telling him what he felt, by saying he had a "hole" like she does. I was really taken back by Cassie's projection, and that just didn't sit well with me so I'm concerned...hmmmmmm

I can't even be mad at Antonia because I think she's just a straight up kinda person. Besides nobody asked her if she wanted to participate in that conversation. It was just sprung on her. She didn't fake it, put on a happy face, then go talk behind Cassie's back. Antonia said what she had to say TO Cassie's face...imagine that! So nooooo to the negative regarding Antonia, 'cuz I'm liking this young woman.

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c27 0 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 10:51 PM (EST)
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80. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I agree with you. Even Cassie made that statement today.
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sweet cheeks 130 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 04:03 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"

Yes indeed I thought all along that the adoptive Mom was
keeping Cassie's son from her.
Telling the child a lie . Shows she was not a stable person
herself.
In her third marriage hum.
Yes I think Cassie has a lot of questions to answer also.
But Antonia is dealing with her own issues.
Cassie did what she thought was right for the child at the time.

I see so many children how they are raised in such horrible
invironments.

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Bubs 1 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 04:04 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Antonia was completely out of line. Does she think Cassie's son would have been better off if Cassie, who knew she couldn't handle parenthood, kept him only to abandon him later in his childhood like Antonia says her own father did?

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smokeysmom 184 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 04:18 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I may have missed this, but how did Cassie know her son's place of employment (which he had left, but she was directed to someone there and left the message)? It bothers me to hear his mother who raised him called "manipulative" and a liar, etc. IMO, adopted children being openly accepted as the gifts they are and finding birth parents -- and vice versa is a relatively new phenomenon, with mixed results from what I've heard/read. As I said in the post above, adoption was not always seen in this light, and a different generation of parents (I'm 45, for example) really DID think they were doing the right thing by not highlighting it. To me, it sort of fits in with the whole airing very deep problems on TV premise of SO --can you imagine that happening even 10 years ago? I worry about the TV reunion, has her son seen the show? How could he not?
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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 04:26 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Sadly it's not always the fairy tale happy ending that people think it will be and while I've heard happy stories from friends I've also heard of disasters as well. I have a very close friend who has absolutely no desire to meet his birth mother and while he harbors no resentment, he has no desire to explore that part of his life. I can't imagine if a Cassie came barging into his life and insisted on being a part of it whether he was willing or not. I think that is the part of this all along that has bothered me is this idea that Cassie has a right, the adoptive family and the son have no rights because Cassie is a reality star. They have adoption registries for a reason. In this case the boy thought she was dead. Only time will tell if knowing she really is alive will help him or drive him deeper into his darkness. Cassie doesn't seem to care or be thinking about what is best for him and that's what bothers me. It's all about what Cassie wants.

Truly for her son's sake I hope everything works out. I worry about other adoptive parents who use Cassie's model to find their children and end up destroying their children in the process.

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Cleverone 759 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 05:41 PM (EST)
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27. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
****I can't imagine if a Cassie came barging into his life and insisted on being a part of it whether he was willing or not. I think that is the part of this all along that has bothered me is this idea that Cassie has a right, the adoptive family and the son have no rights because Cassie is a reality star. *****


Hi Baxtera....I have to disagree with you here...Cassie has a right not because she's a reality star (I'm sure you're making light of the situation),but because she "is" his mother and he's over 18 which means he's an adult and she can contact him...he's "legally approachable".

Whether we like it or not she gave birth to him and Cassie (being too trusting as usual) thought her privileges as his mother would be honored because this was suppose to be an "open adoption"...the sad part is that the adoptive parents chose to lie not only to Cassie, but their son as well. This was their biggest mistake....they should have know that Cassie would contact him sooner or later as she'd made frequent request to them Now, they lack credibility....their son will have trouble believing anything they say from now on.

As for Antonia, I can understand where she's coming from, although, she was a bit too judgemental for my taste, she did bring up issues that Cassie is going to hear again...the first question out of her son's mouth was ..."Why? after all this time?".....
...and poor Cassie's all ready to defend her self, so she's right to prepare for the tough questions to come. So, in some ways I have to agree with other posters who feel that Antonia may have given Cassie a gift in that she will have a little practical experience at answering them.

The issues that Antonia brought up "are more her issues than Cassie's"...steming from her preception of her father who she feels abandoned her...obviously, he couldn't "get it together" for her. She had no compassion for Cassie "based on her own issues" as she doesn't know Cassie's whole story.

Someone said that ...at least she said it to Cassie's face and didn't choose to go behind her back..however, she could 've been a little less heartless in her approach. I can tell you one thing, someone failed this girl when it came to lessons in "tact" as she is very outspoken and there's nothing wrong with it, however, there's a "tactful way" to do anything.

She would do well to come off her "high horse" because her story leaves people without "compassion for her"...she chose to go around spending (charging) money consciously with a "sense of entitlement" and is in no position to judge Cassie who, on the other hand, made her choice to give up her son for the "good of this boy's future"...and I don't know about you or the others out there, but I can respect Cassie's choice more than I can Antonia's, who's only reason was a selfish, self serving and dispicable desire to be P-R-I-V-I-L-E-G-E-D....not looking out for the welfare of a B-A-B-Y .(JMHO)

****************************
"I walk in my own shoes..."
****************************

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AshLanie 895 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 04:45 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
>Let me start by saying, I
>do NOT judge Cassie. Goodness
>knows I have made TONS
>of mistakes in my past
>and I'd like to think
>I've learned from them.
>
>With respect to Antonia and her
>remarks to Cassie: While I
>think she was harsh, Cassie
>has to be prepared to
>answer these questions. Does she
>think her son isn't going
>to harbor some resentment towards
>her? She made a comment
>today that he said "why
>now"? Why now, indeed, Cassie?
>She really needs to dig
>deep and explain WHY NOW?
>Lots of people are upset
>with Antonia's remarks and her
>reaction to Cassie. I think
>Antonia brought up what many
>people would legitimately think when
>they hear Cassie story. It's
>much easier for a birth
>parent to waltz in AFTER
>the child is raised and
>develop a relationship with the
>child - sounds like a
>good gig to me. Let
>somebody else feed, clothe, comfort,
>care for and deal with
>the problems of her son
>for 19 years - now
>she can come back with
>no financial responsibility and become
>the hero. Again - I'm
>not judging her - just
>pointing out what this young
>man OBVIOUSLY has to think
>and she is folling herself
>if she doesn't think his
>reaction is going to be
>just as harsh (maybe not
>outwardly so) as Antonia.
>
>By the way, didn't Cassie receive
>a letter from the adoptive
>mother that also included the
>son's signature? How could he
>sign something saying he didn't
>want to see her if
>he thought she was dead??
>


Nods and good post!

I think maybe the son might understand IF Cassie had been say 15 or so but Cassie was 23 years old when she gave him up.

Can she justify being 23 a drug addict, an alcholic, and a bum (she did lie to have places to live)?


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eire_heart74 1231 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 04:59 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I don't think she is wrong for wanting to meet her son because I don't know how she was able to give him up. However I think it's wrong for it to be on tv! It just seems like a ratings ploy. If she met him in private and then came on, I would actually have more respect for her.

I don't even know what her son would say to her, having never been in that place. But I bet some of the questions won't be pretty or easy. They should be done in private.

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maryellennaco 1084 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 05:02 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
This is one storyline I'd like to see completely obliterated from any further SO shows. What did Rhonda say when Cassie came back for the THIRD TIME: "Cassie needs support, blah, blah, blah" EEERRRPPP!!!! What in the world is Cassie gonna do when the show is over??? One too many retread story lines. I'm gonna blow chunks!! Pass the pepto, please!
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dasboot 223 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 04:31 PM (EST)
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63. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I'm with you on this one. Lost the sound yesterday on the channel so couldn't hear most of yesterday's show...missed her re-entry.

There is a part of me that is really, really, really trying to be empathetic and compassionate about her reunion. I think it's great that is it going to happen. However, I don't think I want or need to see it. It is sensationalized tv. And I even have to wonder if Dustin isn't getting his pockets lined a little by SO for agreeing to do the reunion on camera.

This woman is a media whore. Is she going to come running back to the SO house every time she drops a turd to show it to the whole world? Enough exploitation already. Have some dignity.

Did you see that hunk of chunk of gold hanging around her neck today? Can't pay rent but she can afford a $400 dollar gold necklace?

I wanted to yell today because she is still crying and being whiny and I had to restrain myself. I just can't take the whining and the sooner she leaves the better. Get it over with. The world goes on and I would doubt that very few people were holding their breathe waiting for this reunion. People make mistakes everyday and some even manage to redeem themselves. This reunion is not that really that unusual of that of big a deal. There are thousands of neglected and/or abandoned children in the world...unfortunately.

And of course she needed another makeover. If she's going to be on tv every two minutes at least put some braces on her...she looks like a shark.

I don't need Pepto-Bismol but this just feels ucky-yucky.

Maybe I need more Prozac?

Forgive me for being so negative but this is the way I feel.

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jonimoni 136 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 05:13 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I personally hope that the birth child that Cassie gave up for adoption asks her how in heck she can go on tv and repeatedly say how evil his real mother is, ya know, that woman who raised him. The three marriages the a-mom supposedly had are some how seen as more terrible than the over 400 men that Cassie admits to having slept with for drugs, alcohol and a place to sleep! The terrible things we have all heard repeated by Rhonda even, have all come from unrealiable sources. First, the a-dad who has not even seen his son in years, what a peice of garbage. The second wife (so we know that the wonderful a-dad has been married atleast 2 times) of the a-dad who was shaggin the guy while he was still married to the a-mom, what a great reference. Third, Cassie, who admits she was drunk when she called the a-mom a few years ago....so has she really been sober for 13 years, liar. Cassie, who sees any fault of the a-mom through a microscope but feels no responsibility for her own choices because it was all the fault of "the disease of alcoholism." What is wrong with this show? They have dragged a woman, who did NOT agree to have her life put on tv, through the mud. They have called her a bad mother, everything nasty under the sun and we cannot judge her, we have not met her. WE have seen Cassie, we have heard her story...it is not pretty. People can and do change, real change would be Cassie making herself happy and not depending on a really young adult, to do it for her!

Cassie needs to be ready for VERY HARD questions from this young man, because what Cassie does not realize is that being a real mother means putting the welfare of the CHILD first, not the greedy needs of a very needy 45 year old woman. She needs to prepare real answers to the questions he might ask. It may not be all peaches and rosebuds, it may be ugly. She needs to look inside herself and prepare REAL answers, not starting over psychobabble. This "child" has got to be 20 by now and I hope this show goes back to the first season mold and gets this young man some aftercare, not just throw him in with his birth mom with some rosy notion that birthmoms are always the best moms. Ask Kim how great her birthmom is, or Christie....

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 06:07 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Cassie did do one good thing she surrendered her son for adoption.

Sadly she was too strung out on achol and drugs to actually know what paperwork she signed and while she claims she told them she wanted an open adoption and she was tricked, who is to say that's what Cassie thought she did but was talked out of it in one of her drunken stupors? The truth is Cassie doesn't know and wasn't sobor enough to insure her rights were taken care of. Thank God someone was there to take care of her son and insure he was safe. Cassie seems to be confused between the concepts of foster care and adoption. No courts would have allowed her visitation while she was drunk.

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Cleverone 759 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 06:11 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
****WE have seen Cassie, we have heard her story...it is not pretty. People can and do change, real change would be Cassie making herself happy and not depending on a really young adult, to do it for her!****

What's so wrong with her seeking to meet the child she gave a better life to??? People do change and Cassie should be allowed to at least meet him...I don't recall her saying she wanted to take him away...I don't believe that Cassie is looking to this young man to be everything to her...she just wants to meet him and tell him why she gave him up.

Her past hasn't been the best, but I respect her choice as far as her son was concerned (being in the state of mind she was in when she gave birth)...she knew that she couldn't take care of him with her addictions and obviously, she wasn't able to kick her habits at that point in her life...it still took her six more years of spiraling out of control before she was able to do so. Who knows, the adoption could've made it worse after she was lied to by the adoptive parents...they've got a lot of explaining to do to their son as well.

She's still severely lacking the things that would make her a responsible person in our society, but she's got it together enough to face him and let him know that she's always loved him (in her own way) and that she never forgot about him and I think she deserves that chance...and if after he meets her, he doesn't want a relationship with her...it will devastate her and I'm hoping that she'll honor that, but she'll have what she wanted...a chance to see him again... and as an "egg donor"...that's the least she can expect. JMHO


****************************
"I walk in my own shoes..."
****************************

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jonimoni 136 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 07:59 PM (EST)
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32. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I still think Cassie is expecting peaches and rosebuds.....no reality here. Where is Rhonda telling her that it may be one meeting consisting of one uncomfortable hug and a bunch of difficult questions and thats it? This show is not about really changing women's lives anymore. It is about ratings, it does Cassie and Dustin a disservice to put this on tv for the whole world to see, as much as we might want to see it. It does Cassie a huge disservice to let her go on believing that meeting Dustin will complete her life in some way. She needs to be aware of the reality of this situation, letting her know that her choices have shaped her life would have been a great place for Rhonda to start with her. Instead of blaming everything and everyone else in Cassie's sad and rather disturbing story, if they had taken ONE moment to help her see what part she played in it, things would have been better for her. It is nice that he has made a choice to have a meeting with her, but in the end that is all it might be, one meeting and Dr. Stan at the very least, should help her see things more clearly. She has built up all her hopes, for years, for this one single meeting, how can it possibly meet expectations? This program has been very reckless in the way they have handled this entire thing.
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nikkidemus 186 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 06:40 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
If a woman is trying to get pregnant and she cant, even with fertility treatments, then us birth mothers become their saviors. But then you will always have people like Antonia who want to judge others about the choices they make with which she knows nothing about. I liked Antonia until today and now I detest her.She attacked Cassie because of her own personal problems with her dad, she didnt give an opinion and even if she did it was the wrong time and place. She doesnt need anyone telling her that crap so that she will be prepared for it in case her son ask those questions. Shes thought about it for the last 18 years, its the fear that every birth mom knows and thinks about. I hope that everything goes well for Cassie and her son, but if it doesnt at least they gave it a shot. As for Antonia, she is an uncompassionate, immature, stupid ridiculous b***h who doesnt have a pot to piss in because shes to busy ripping off the credit card companies. I hate her, I hate her, I hate her!!!
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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 07:37 PM (EST)
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31. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Whether you agree with her or not, it was supposed to be Cassie's moment. Antonia had NO business butting in and offering her unsolicited opinion. Everyone was staring at her in disbelief (both HG's and LC's). She is a clueless, self-centered, brat with so little life experience that she doesn't even know when to shut her big mouth. Apparently the mother that she is so buddy buddy with forgot to teach her basic manners like not interrupting and insulting people.
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Twinkles 324 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 08:54 PM (EST)
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33. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Kids say the darndest things. (and people like Antonia) who still act like kids, do too)

Cassie just got an earful from hearing Antonia's two-cents. And coming up in the next days to years, Cassie has no idea what to expect from her son.

In my experience, the meetings between a child who was given up and a struggling, disconnected parent can vary. But I've never seen a situation, personally where they continue to stay close over time.

The people I've known having these meetings have a polite beginning stage where they get to know each other and one or both is enthusiastic about the prospects but later it can disappear for lack of a real connection or because the emotions are just not right. (anger, guilt, shame...)
I could see Cassie in the future always willing to try to stay connected but I really don't see that she's doing this for him. Cassie doesn't have the skills to work this out. I just don't see it.

Once he sees if he has her eyebrows and has some questions answered I wonder if he'll move along in his life. Unless he feels like he has to stay in touch with her to take care of her he might run for the hills. After all, he has a mother and family already.

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Mrs B 27 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 12:56 PM (EST)
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58. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
>I personally hope that the birth
>child that Cassie gave up
>for adoption asks her how
>in heck she can go
>on tv and repeatedly say
>how evil his real mother
>is, ya know, that woman
>who raised him. The
>three marriages the a-mom supposedly
>had are some how seen
>as more terrible than the
>over 400 men that Cassie
>admits to having slept with
>for drugs, alcohol and a
>place to sleep! The
>terrible things we have all
>heard repeated by Rhonda even,
>have all come from unrealiable
>sources. First, the a-dad who
>has not even seen his
>son in years, what a
>peice of garbage. The second
>wife (so we know that
>the wonderful a-dad has been
>married atleast 2 times) of
>the a-dad who was shaggin
>the guy while he was
>still married to the a-mom,
>what a great reference.
>Third, Cassie, who admits she
>was drunk when she called
>the a-mom a few years
>ago....so has she really been
>sober for 13 years, liar.
>Cassie, who sees any fault
>of the a-mom through a
>microscope but feels no responsibility
>for her own choices because
>it was all the fault
>of "the disease of alcoholism."
>What is wrong with this
>show? They have dragged
>a woman, who did NOT
>agree to have her life
>put on tv, through the
>mud. They have called
>her a bad mother, everything
>nasty under the sun and
>we cannot judge her, we
>have not met her.
>WE have seen Cassie, we
>have heard her story...it is
>not pretty. People can
>and do change, real change
>would be Cassie making herself
>happy and not depending on
>a really young adult, to
>do it for her!
>
>Cassie needs to be ready for
>VERY HARD questions from this
>young man, because what Cassie
>does not realize is that
>being a real mother means
>putting the welfare of the
>CHILD first, not the greedy
>needs of a very needy
>45 year old woman.
>She needs to prepare real
>answers to the questions he
>might ask. It may
>not be all peaches and
>rosebuds, it may be ugly.
>She needs to look inside
>herself and prepare REAL answers,
>not starting over psychobabble. This
>"child" has got to be
>20 by now and I
>hope this show goes back
>to the first season mold
>and gets this young man
>some aftercare, not just throw
>him in with his birth
>mom with some rosy notion
>that birthmoms are always the
>best moms. Ask Kim
>how great her birthmom is,
>or Christie....


Precisely. And what proof did Cassie offer that she really did sign off on an "open adoption" (and why did the lawyer tell her she had "NO legal standing" if she did have a contract allowing contact)? I feel for the son and think Cassie will be a nightmare for a long, long time for him and his MOTHER (Cassie is a DNA donor not a mom). The sources for the "information" about the mother come with an agenda.

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26mitogo 493 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 09:30 PM (EST)
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34. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
This whole meeting the adopted son on TV just doesn't sit well with me. Cassie bugs the beegeebies out of me for many reason ... one of which is her the-world-revolves-around-me attitude. I feel like I am more worried about her son and how he is going to handle all this than Cassie is. She seemes so much more worried about what he is going to think of her than she is about his well being.

I truly admire Cassie for giving her son up for adoption when she knew she couldn't provide a decent life for him. Not many people have that kind of strength ... as evidenced by the extremely low numbers of infants available for adoption. There are plenty of children being raised by their biological mothers in the midst of drugs, alcohol, prostitution, etc ... which could easily have been Dustin's fate had Cassie kept him. His adoptive mother may not have been the ideal mother and Cassie may feel the a-mother made a mess of the gift Cassie gave her but I still say, as bad as the environment may have been (& we have only one side of the story) it is still better than a drug/alcohol addicted mother that was sleeping around for a place to stay (prostitution without the direct exchange of cash.) Even without a child to raise, Cassie has just recently managed to get her GED ... yet Dustin is either in college or has been. We also know he's had several jobs ... also something that has eluded Cassie.

I would rather see Cassie a bit more appreciative that at least the adoptive mother loved her son, wanted to protect him, and only wants the best for him. No, I don't think I would like to have a child raised in the atmosphere that we have heard about but it's definitly better than the alternative. It would behoove Cassie to make the adoptive mother her ally rather than her enemy, even if it is only outwardly ... in her words & behavior. Dustin does not need to be torn apart any more than he already has been. Apparently, his original set of parents aren't even speaking so that would have been one huge break in his young life. It seems there may have been another husband or 2 for his mother as well, which means at least one more possibly nasty break. Now, in comes Cassie, also in opposition with his mother. It sounds like this young guy has had enough to deal with and has had subsequent problems. Add Cassie's obvious problems and it could drive this young man away from the only mother he has ever known. She may not be the rose garden view of the home Cassie wanted for her son but IMO, Cassie has always had an unrealistic, rose-garden idea of how her world should be. When it doesn't turn out that way, she tends to give up or hide. Nothing in life can ever be that angles-sing-from-above perfect that Cassie envisions.

I could get behind Cassie's visit with her son if (#1) she didn't see the need to include all the cameras and make it part of her reality-star world; (#2) I could genuinely see her spend much more energy on the needs of Dustin rather than on her own needs & insecurities; (#3) Cassie had her life a bit more settled and secure so that she isn't hanging her own happiness and future on someone who should never have to bear this responsibility; and (#4) Cassie didn't approach everything as if it will be her answer to finding perfect heaven on earth. I can understand why Cassie would be nervous meeting Dustin, but I'm a mother, I would be more concerned about HIS needs and insecurities. I would first want to make sure a meeting at this time was in HIS best interests NOT just because he is now over 18 so it's legal for her to contact him. I still see too much self-centered instability in Cassie and hope it doesn't mess up a possibly newly stable life for this human being that has had a rough road already.

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cheesecake 12 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 10:22 PM (EST)
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35. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I am very Happy for cassie.

I do not think cassie is only thinking of herself. I think cassie always from the day she gave her son away for adoption was thinking of him and his needs. She always knew he was being taken care of. But I think she always thought she would be a part of his life with that open adoption, from what whomever explained to her what an open adoption meant.

Also remember Ladies SO has a very funny way of editing their shows, they show you only what they want you to see and how they want the events to go.

Another thing also, I think cassie found a perfect opportunity, this show was in its second season and it was around the time her son was turning 18 and she is hard up for money. So why not write to the show and try and get on. And I bet SO is also going to pay her son to come on the show. remember this is big production for the show. Maybe the son is hard up for money also.

But even with all that, I think its great that they will meet. I am sure the son has a lot of questions for cassie. And with Rhonda's help and Dr Stan I am sure she will have answers for him. No matter which way it goes, good or bad I think it should happen that they meet. both souls need this to heal their lives.

good luck cassie I wish you all the best

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kfennessey464 27 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 05:38 PM (EST)
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67. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Cheesecake well said!!! I think Cassie giving her son up for adoption was the best thing for him, at that time.......what do they say ...."when you know better you do better" ....Cassie is in a much better place now....I wish them both all the best of luck.....
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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 10:31 PM (EST)
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37. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Good post 26.

That has been my problem with this all along. It's a private matter and doesn't belong on national TV. Cassie may have chosen to publicly air her dirty laundry but her son and his adoptive family did not. As much as I support their meeting, I would be suspicious of a woman who suddenly appeared and then announced that the TV cameras were coming too. It has the appearance of insincerity.

And I agree with the assessment of Cassie's life. Their best shot at a healthy relationship would be if Cassie first had her own life together and then wanted to add her son to an already happy and well functioning life. I think she is putting too much pressure on this meeting as if it is the only thing that will make her life complete. Her neediness may push him away and the expectations may be just too much.

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EMTBGRL 2513 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 11:01 PM (EST)
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40. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
It's a private matter and doesn't
>belong on national TV.
>

I agree with this. I have a question. If the SO program felt the need to "tie up loose ends" with the Cassie/Birth Son story (which is what I feel is going on here) would "you" (all posters) feel differently if Cassie returned AFTER meeting Dustin privately? and AWAY from the television cameras, just to report how the meeting went? For example, Cassie shows up again, and says, "I met my birth son last week, and I wanted to come here and tell you all about it, since it was SO that helped make this possible" seems more sincere to me than,
"Maybe TV cameras will lure my birthson into the spotlight to meet me." Which is just icky.

Truth? I am sick of Cassie. I thought twice was enough conflama.


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desertdame 14 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 09:26 AM (EST)
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87. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
After reading thru seemingly countless posts, YOUR post sums it up for me, EMTBGRL - thank you!

Bye Cassie - your 15 minutes is WAYY up.

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Sues 585 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 09:18 PM (EST)
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77. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your post! You touched every single point I was thinking (with one exception...I see a mean streak in this chick that's juuust under the surface).

Anywho...I was beginning to think I was alone in my thoughts, so thanks again...

Really hope they get this kid some outside counseling after they get their ratings push....

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JustBeingAuthentic 25 desperate attention whore postings
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04-26-06, 10:30 PM (EST)
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36. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Alcoholics (and yes, even recovering alcoholics) can be some of the most self-centered people in the world. This is just a fact. I applaud them for overcoming addiction because it's one of the hardest things a person can do. Recovery, however, is all about self.

This said, Cassie's reunion with her son is for Cassie, not him. She's just so immature and at no point has taken her son's feelings or reaction into consideration except in terms of how it would affect her. It really makes me sick. I hope she doesn't damage her son anymore.

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tac_2 351 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 00:07 AM (EST)
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41. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I'm behind...well, actually I lost interest about the time the last two new hg's arrived. However, I hear Cassie has succeeded in her stalking efforts (thanks to Rhonda's encouragement) and will be meeting her birth son. Last I heard, she had signed up with a reputable agency that makes the initial contact with the adoptee.
So, what happened to that?? Why is it Cassie called this boy's place of employment??? How dare she. Stupid b!tch!

Cassie is about Cassie. Period.

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dopeydwarf 185 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 00:12 AM (EST)
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42. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"

I just want to say that Antonia didn't take away from Cassie's "moment" in the least--it was Cassie who observed that Antonia was speaking from her own issues or something to that effect. I was quite surprised and pleased that she had the insight to realize that. Antonia may be very good for Cassie. At least she is open, and we don't get this "confessional talking behind your back" stuff from her. I don't know about you, but I can't stand wishy-washy people.

____________________________________________________________________________

I'd rather be at Disneyworld

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Omniscia 58 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 02:01 AM (EST)
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43. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
LAST EDITED ON 04-27-06 AT 02:47 PM (EST)

I thought Cassie handled Antonia beautifully today, I was proud of her.

Are we really supposed to believe Antonia didn't know Cassie's story? Has she never watched SO? Cassie has only been there for a decade. ;) Antonia signed up for a show she never watched???? Hmmm, methinks someone wants to be a star and doesn't care how.

Anyway, I'm bummed to see that Cassie went back to the 80's hair.

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kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 08:21 AM (EST)
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44. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I agree with the hair. My guess is that she's cutting it herself, and just chopping away trying to layer it herself. Ugh. She really needs it to be fixed and straightened out. I don't know if she needs to be brunette, the blonde is fine- but the cut is awful. But how many make-overs can SO give out to one person? I think they have Andy Paige tied up and boxed in a room somewhere on sight. Once in a while they go in there to feed her.
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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 08:32 AM (EST)
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45. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
My hope is SO actually already has done the work with the son and he is prepared for this and it wasn't just sprung on him as Cassie described. Nothing she's said during any of her visits has ever indicated this is about anything other than Cassie. Hopefully some experts have been involved to insure no harm comes to the young adult involved.
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SportsNut 51 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 09:37 AM (EST)
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47. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I'm thinking they've had to have met BEFORE SO catches it on-camera. At the very least, I would hope they've had telephone conversations and that SO has had the foresight to have Dr. Stan speak to her son. I am actually concerned that this whole thing is NOT going to come out the way Cassie has dreamed it will and - seriously - it could cause her to go back to drugs and alcohol. Think about it: The thought of someday seeing her son is probably what kept her sober and off drugs for many years. If that blows up, it's going to be very hard for her to stay sober. I hope SO knows this and is taking steps to prevent this from happening...yikes!
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indyblu 16 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 09:48 AM (EST)
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48. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
LAST EDITED ON 04-27-06 AT 09:52 AM (EST)

Whoever said Cassie is all about Cassie is right on IMHO.

I have no doubt that whatever the outcome of the meeting, good or bad, Cassie will refuse to let this die IF that is Dustin's wish.
She has shown no inclination to respect his or anyone elses wishes for that matter in regards to this thing (SO has NOT helped in this matter by comtinually pushing her to initiate contact at seemingly all means possible). She WILL NOT just go away if that is Dustins wish. The word stalker comes to mind here.

As far as the confrontation yesterday..well..if she couldnt handle that she hasnt really seen anything yet IMO. She is WELL versed at playing the victim card and the "I have a disease..." card. To me ..it would get old VERY quickly.

This "I was only 23 or 24" thing...Look,I know a ton of folks (my own son is a single father at 19 with sole custody of our now 3yr.old grandson) that age or younger, who step up and take responsibility, change their ways and do the right thing.Fact is Cassie was too busy and having to much fun drinking, partying, etc. to change her ways. Basically...she just didnt want too at that time!
By her owm admission she QUIT drinking while she was pregnant!! She CHOOSE to go back to doing her own thing as soon as she got rid of the kid! She CHOOOSE!! Be honest here Cassie!! Tell the kid the TRUTH!!

I was young and single,I was too busy having fun and partying to take the responsibility of raising you.I was too selfish to give up what I wanted and I knew if I kept you I would have to change. I was selfish and I made a mistake.

What a perfectly acceptable, HONEST answer to me if I was her kid. She WONT use that though... She will play the victim thing that SO has drilled into her, "I have a disease..." BAH!!!

Then, were lead to believe that she made this great , wonderful, well thought out, selfless,nearly saintly decison to give the child up and "do what was best for him and give him a chance" ??

Whata crock of BS!!! I thought she was all drugged and drunked up, she was out of control and wasnt thinking clearly right???... but all of a sudden VIOLA!! She has this great moment of lucidity amidst her drunken stupors (oh wait...she quit drinking while she was pregnant I forgot, she only started again AFTER she dumped the kid. Silly me.) and made the very wise, selfless decision to do what was best ..for Dustin.

Excuse me while I throw up!!

Cassie...cowboy up, and tell the kid the truth and stop with the victim BS . It just doesnt add up and your kid DESERVES the truth !!Stop putting yourself, your needs, and how you are percieved first... Think of HIM for once!!

You dumped him because you didnt want to stop the lifestyle you were leading at the time. PERIOD!! It had absolutely nothing to do with you "doing the right thing for him" at all!!

I guess while Im on my sopabox I might as well spout off on this too.

How in the world does this woman expect to get bye in this mean cruel world?? The only friends that she seems to have is SO. I mean for crying out loud ...shes "scared" of EVERYTHING!! And she has to come a running to SO EVERY time she senses a crisis of some kind. Good LORD!! THIS??? is the same woman that were suppossed to credit with making such a a "great" choice for her son were talking about ??
That, now... seems incapable of dealing with ANYTHING on her own!!

BAH!!

Does anyone else see my point here?

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amchess 6 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 10:01 AM (EST)
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49. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
IMHO Cassie hasn't gone against Dustin's wishes - he didn't even know she was alive. She was discouraged by the adoptive mom but on the other hand the adoptive dad and x-stepmom (wasn't she x?) both encouraged her. So she had mixed messages. I really hope she is going to be careful how she plays this out and that she puts him first.
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EMTBGRL 2513 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 11:51 AM (EST)
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55. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
indyblu, Yes, I completely see your point. I want to add, I have nothing against adoption, nor do I have anything but compassion for people who choose to adopt. Some people aren't meant to be parents. Some situations present themselves where hard decisions have to be made about whether or not to give up a child. I have no doubt this is a difficult decision. It was a decision I was faced with myself, when I was a pregnant teen/20 year old. (I kept and raised my daughter)

-- Cassie has not given me any reason to believe that the REAL reason Cassie gave Dustin up for adoption was because, as indyblu said, Cassie was selfish. Nobody FORCED Cassie to drink and drug and ??? Cassie has had NO PROBLEM seeking out a reality TV show for "help and support" which demonstrates that Cassie didn't just wake up one morning and realize there's help out there in the world, for people who WANT help badly enough. imho? Becoming a parent is reason enough to WANT help! Although I don't agree with HOW Antonia said it--I can understand the sentiments.

As for Cassie? I think that it is really EASY to come up with an AnswerLite that doesn't address the HARD truth, which is, "I was a selfish little girl that wasn't dedicated enough to the child I brought into the world to get professional help IMMEDIATELY and do the best by my child." Nope.

Instead? Cassie EXCUSES her behavior with, "Well, you see, I had a disease..." OK, although this could be the truth? It does NOT pre-empt the HARD reality that Cassie made CHOICES and that Dustin will want to hear the TRUTH about his adoption. He deserves the HARD truth and not the AnswerLite since Cassie has been FORCING herself on him since she made, and acknowledge, the one GOOD choice she made (giving him up for adoption) since her real disease seems to be stupidity.

And, I also agree "I was only 23-24" is complete BS when it comes to "I wasn't ready to be a parent." Geez. I'm glad none of my grandparents felt that was too young to have kids! (Times are a-changing.) I was a completely responsible, clean and sober mother by 20-years-old. To hear they "weren't old enough?" Yeeaaaahhhhh....right.

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cloudjumper 5 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 11:07 PM (EST)
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81. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
i really think cassie did the right thing in choosing to give her son up for adoption...and i don't think she gave him up so she could just have fun and keep partying and drinking she had alot of problems and was not emotionally stable...anyhow i wish her well
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EMTBGRL 2513 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 08:46 AM (EST)
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85. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
cloudjumper and et al.
I also think Cassie did the right thing by choosing to give her son up for adoption, that's not my problem with Cassie.

My problem with Cassie is her righteousness in excusing herself in her ROLE her REAL ROLE in giving her son up for adoption. She speaks of her remorse in giving up her son. That's all. I'd like to hear a little more TRUTH about remorse regarding the choices that she made that LED her to giving up her son, without such a laissez-faire attitude of, "Well, you see, I had this problem, it was a disease called alcoholism..." She's so carte blanche. There's NO other conversations or consideration here? I find that hard to believe.

That's my other problem with Cassie. I find her very hard to believe.

She doesn't need any help contacting her son at his place of employment when she "decided she didn't need Dr. Stan or Rhonda" and THEN, she DOES need their help when she GOT WHAT SHE WANTED! I don't believe that Cassie "needs their help" (SHE said she didn't!) I think she wants to come back and both play the "Poor ?Me" card, and GLOAT. "Look what I did on my own."

If Cassie cared about Dustin? She would have not gone back to SOH. If he wanted to see her, it should not have been on reality TV.

To me? This displays the same level of selfishness that led Cassie to make the choices she made early in her life. (Yes, I know, I know, before I get blasted here..Nobody CHOOSES to be an alcoholic. HOWEVER, (as someone from a family of alcoholics) I know durn well that some alcoholics are perfectly HAPPY to be alcoholics. There's help out there, too. Plenty of it. Just not one that PAYS you. (Don't the women get a salary for coming on the show?)

So, my issue with Cassie is NOT that she gave Dustin up for adoption. My issue with Cassie is her behavior before, during and after the adoption.

Cassie needs to FACE THE TRUTH. She hasn't so far. I am really sick of the pity party she throws herself.

I wished her well when she left last time. I would have had an easier time wishing her well if she had STAYED gone!

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BlueCollar Blonde 49 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 10:03 AM (EST)
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50. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
>But how many make-overs can
>SO give out to one
>person? I think they
>have Andy Paige tied up
>and boxed in a room
>somewhere on sight. Once
>in a while they go
>in there to feed her.
>

LOL, well once again today Cassie got yet another make-over for her big reunion. She's got to have a whole new wardrobe by now........

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 10:31 AM (EST)
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51. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Hopefully work has been done behind the scenes and Dustin has actually not been blindsided as Cassie said but actually been approached professionally with help to process the news. I also hope that there is a structure in place to provide supports so that Cassie doesn't overwhelm this boy with her needs and addictive personality issues. This has been an obssesion with her and she needs some appropriate insturctions on how to make it work for him and to put his needs not her own first.

SO has long edited this to make Cassie look good and the adoptive mother look bad. The fact the ex-husband has been involved only exhibits the lengths to which bitterness in divorce can lead to horrible situations for children of divorce and it looks like Cassie has been willing to exploit that to her advantage to get what she has wanted as well.

Hopefully this will be a good thing for Dustin and Cassie won't take him down with her.

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PanchoVilla 39 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"

04-27-06, 01:49 PM (EST)
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59. "stuck in 1970"
Thank god they gave her a make-over! The neck scarf was too much, who is she one of the original Josie and the Pussycats? I thought maybe She was going out with Shaggy and Scooby doo after she meets her kid in the Mystery van... I also noticed she has a lot of baggage, Junk in her trunk that is..OINK!!!!!!! Shes too young to look so old and frumpy..
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Cleverone 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

04-27-06, 08:54 PM (EST)
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76. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I thought Cassie handled Antonia beautifully today, I was proud of her.

I was very proud of Cassie today as well...she handled Antonia perfectly....it just shows how much Cassie has grown...before, she would've taken Antonia's comments very personal, but she put it back where it really lies...with Antonia and her issues with her father...Good job, Cassie.


As for Antonia, she's sooo spaced out in general, that I believe it is possible that she didn't watch the show enough to really get into the HG's...someone probably suggested that the show would do her some good and then she applied...I hope they can help her, she's really spoiled and needs a swift kick in the butt!!!

I noticed Andy didn't go there with Cassie about the hair, today....smart move, Andy.

****************************
"I walk in my own shoes..."
****************************

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BlueCollar Blonde 49 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"

04-27-06, 10:40 AM (EST)
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52. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I've got some real issues with Cassie's story as it seems to have changed since the first time she entered the doors of the SO house.

If memory serves me when she entered the SO house the first time she had only been sober for a number of weeks and as another poster pointed out already she did say in a previous episode that she was drunk when she called the adoptive mother a few years ago. So, I may not be a rocket scientist, but I am smart enough to conclude that there is no way she's been sober for 13 years. Sobriety starts the moment/day you stop drinking and/or doing drugs. It ends when you relapse and starts again when you're back on the wagon. She can't piecemeal the various times she's been sober and add them all together to give a grand total. It just doesn't work that way.

Next, I am almost positive that when she visited the first time it was stated that it was a CLOSED adoption and I thought they mentioned that again when she met with the SO house. Now, if this is the case then Cassie has been way out of line and had no legal rights to even attempt to contact him while he was underage. From her statement in yesterday's show, she said she's been looking for him "all along", not just the last 1 1/2 years that SO has been helping her.

Now Cassie has returned yet again because God forbid she'd have to get through something on her own. I mean after today's show it's obvious that she needed another makeover to get through this terribly emotional time. Give me a break!

As far as Antonia and her comments to Cassie in yesterday's show, I said this in another post and I'll say it again - Cassie better be prepared to answer those questions and probably some tougher ones. Obviously, that's the case since the first thing he wanted to know was "Why now?". She may find that she's going to get more than she bargained for also because we already know that the son has had issues with drinking.

I also agree with another poster who said that at least Antonia put it out there and didn't keep quiet and scurry around the house and whisper about it with other HGs behind Cassie's back. I seem to recall a group session in which both RB and IV told the HGs that they did not communicate their feelings to one another. Just like Kim's drinking - everybody noticed her switching cup trick yet no one said a word about it. They just let her keep on slurping down the booze whenever she wanted, but behind her back they thought she had a drinking problem.

So, Antonia puts it out there and then gets chastised for it? What gives? Either they are supposed to "share their feelings" or they are supposed to keep quiet and stick to the back-talking. It can't be both ways, yet it appears that's exactly the way it is.

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donnakala 9 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"

04-27-06, 11:25 AM (EST)
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53. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Cassie is becoming more of a pest than Allison at this point. Laying aside my personal feelings about Cassie, I can't believe she is doing this. According to her she has looked all along for her son of 19. She stated today in the kitchen to the girls that she decided she didn't need Dr. Stan or Rhonda in order to call her son and she just decided to make the call. Now that Dustin has responded to her, their meeting is bound to be the most important day in Cassie's life. And how does she plan to spend that time with him? On a reality show! I mean we all like the show and get involved with the women but it is what it is - another reality show and I am appalled that she would choose this venue to have this time with him. Don't get me wrong. I'm curious about him and want to see him. But I don't think it's right or very fair for him.

And as far as the adoptive mother is concerned I always try to remember that there are always two sides to every story and we have only heard one of them.

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loretta54 45 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"

04-27-06, 11:42 AM (EST)
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54. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
bluecollarblond i agree with you, i thought it was about sharing your feelings also, but of course if antonia had gone behind cassie back and talk about her she would be called a backstabbing bi--ch.

another thing i am distrub about is cassie calling his place of employment how did she know where he worked and how did she get the number? this is stalking and people are in jail for doing this exact thing. the last we or at least i heard the lawyer told her to register with the orgeon agency that handles this type of thing. she was to put her name on a list and let her son find her. she most not have done that, and it concerns me that a tv show would encourage her in this type of thing. the reason i say encourage is because if they weren't they wouldn't have her back on SO. i guess it's those may ratings that pushing this kind of behavior. maybe just maybe after meeting her son she will move her hair and herself out of the 80's and into 2006. JMHO. and by the way i don't have anything against cassie just this stalking behavior of hers.

mary

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kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

04-27-06, 12:06 PM (EST)
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57. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
This is to no one , just adding to the thread. I was talking to someone about the show and they were really mad about Cassie and saying how she was horrible for ever giving up her son. And all I could think was, so she's cursed forever now? I think sometimes we cast people off because it's uncomfortable to deal with anything that we would call a socail taboo. Instead of pondering why, and how, and what for and really putting ourselves in their shoes we just cast them off. I know this for sure- there's a heck of a lot of teenage girls aborting their babies every year- if you think it's not happening then you are sadly mistaken. I remember high school very well. At least Cassie carried that child to term and made thoughtful decisions about it's life. She also thought she would be a part of that life and not be lied to. Now she finds her birth son was lied to also- all his life. Many adopted children who reach 18 receive phone calls or letters from their birth parents every year- it's not stalking, it's called reaching out to a child you created and still love.

Then I remembered how my friend had gotten rid off a dog once because it had messed up their carpet and cried too much. They took it back to the pound so someone else could take care of it- someone better equipped to deal with the issues of having a dog. I did feel they were crappy for not being able to take of it themselves, but I understood that it was their decision and that the sweet little dog would have a happier life with someone more patient (I hope). Tons of people abuse thier pets, abandon them, take them to shelters- and yet still have time to judge someone who gave birth and let someone adopt their child so they can have a better life.

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annie828 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"

04-27-06, 12:04 PM (EST)
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56. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Cassie is soooooooo full of sh!t! If she had the discipline and strength to stop drinking/drugs while pregnant, than she could have been EVEN more disciplined to stop FOR the baby.

She say's she gave up the baby because she couldn't support the baby....but she had the money to go back to drinking and doing drugs???????? If she loved that baby like she claims she did.
Than like Antonia said...you couldn't get it together for the baby?" Cassie didn't love that baby enough to get it together....she CHOOSE the booze and drugs OVER the baby....where the h$ll was the love there?

I have no sympathy for Cassie claiming she has a disease....she is so full of contradicting statements...I can't believe SO producers and LC's can't see through her lies. JMO

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tac_2 351 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"

04-27-06, 01:56 PM (EST)
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60. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
> can't believe SO producers
>and LC's can't see through
>her lies. JMO


Oh I think they do. However, their need for ratings far exceeds their ethics and Cassie doesn't mind being used, either. So the pimps and the whore get no sympathy from me whatsoever.

Cassie thinks smirky Rhonda actually cares about her when, in reality, Rhonda will probably change her tele # after the show is over.

I think Cassie deserves what is in her future post SO - Failure to get anyone to help her do what she refuses to do for herself.
But I do feel sorry for the taxpayers of California having to inevitably support yet another deadbeat thanks to the 'disease' excuse. When that happens (and I'm convinced it will) I hope they nail her for Fraud.

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

04-27-06, 03:10 PM (EST)
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61. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Having worked with kids who's parents kept them and yet truly aren't able to appropriatly parent I really applaud anyone who has the courage and strength to know they are not capable of parenting and surrenders their child for adoption. It's not about getting it together or anything else it's about what's best for the child and that isn't always the biological parents. I truly applaud Cassie and any biological parent who chooses adoption for what ever reason when they realize they are not in the best interest of that baby. I've watched too many children who are raised by parents doing their duty and I've seen some incredibly fortunate adoptive children who are the very center of their adoptive parents lives. Not every situation is the same but I truly think that it takes great courage to carry a child to term and give it the chance to be raised by someone who wants that child. Not all adoptive situations work out great but many do.

My main issue with Cassie is she feels entitled to something from her son. I honestly don't think one meeting is going to be enough for her and I hope for his sake he has the strength and the tools to deal with an obssessive, compulsive, acholic, drug addicted personality. Cassie may use him as her new drug of choice.

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kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

04-27-06, 04:29 PM (EST)
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62. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Again, to no one inparticular- I just would like to have some valid reasons from everyone who dislikes Cassie on why they think she is so worthless. I'm not judging anyone, and I won't be judging any of the answers. I am just stumped as to why she is hated so much. I know she used to be a user, I know she lived a low life, I know she once had to rely on other people. And she gave up her child for adoption. But I'd like to hear the reasons why people hate her on such a personal level. All those things she did were in her past. I guess I just need insight as to why she should be despised so much.

Thanks in advace!!!

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

04-27-06, 05:10 PM (EST)
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65. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
You have to know someone to hate them. I don't hate Cassie. I respect her actually for walking away when she was a drug/achol addict and leaving her son with the chance to be with a loving family who could at least offer him the chance at a stable life and not one with a prostitute drug addict. For that she definitly gets credit in my book.

However, having worked with troubled kids I have watched too many people who think it's there kids jobs to heal them and to fix them. I see her son as another addiction another obssesion like drugs, like achol. A live addiction perhaps but no less healthy. She seems to think her son will save her and I've yet to see anything that indicates she has anything to offer him. She keeps talking about what he will give her and never ever mentions what he's got to gain from this process.

I don't waste hate on TV shows. I do feel compassion for this son only because of my experience with kids who have been expected to be their parents healing stone. I hope things work out for him.

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pmcollector 3 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"

04-27-06, 05:54 PM (EST)
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70. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I think everyone has had different points of view on this.

I agree that them meeting on Ntl Television is not a good idea. However the fact that Cassie wants to meet her son I think is honorable. She couldn't meet him earlier because the Mother was in the way and while a child is a minor, the parents have total control over whether they want them to meet biological parents.

It is a total crime for the Adoptive Mother to lie to him and tell him his biological Mother is dead.

My sister-in-law was adopted and always knew she was adopted, but didn't know that her parents knew her real Mother. Her father told her when she was around 28 or so and she already was married and had her own kids. Her parents are divorced and her adoptive Mother has been very upset and felt threatened when my S-I-L started getting to know her biological Mother. She said she isn't my Mother, but I want to know her and my Half brothers and Sisters. Everyone has the right to know where they come from. If they chose not to do anything about it, then that is their choice.

I commend Cassie and it won't be easy, but she would never be able to be settled if she hadn't tried.

Those of us that haven't walked in her shoes, cannot pass judgement.

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EMTBGRL 2513 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Survivor-themed Cruise Spokesperson"

04-28-06, 08:55 AM (EST)
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86. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
>Again, to no one inparticular- I
>just would like to have
>some valid reasons from everyone
>who dislikes Cassie on why
>they think she is so
>worthless.

I do not know Cassie, so I do not dislike her. That said:
I think her behavior points to someone who is a range of clueless, self-absorbed and dishonest. When she goes to someone for help, I always get the distinct impression that Cassie isn't listening, she's just waiting to talk. Cassie puts on a show of "poor me" but when she went home, she called her son at his place of employment, on her own. After being told NOT to do anything close to that. After she made contact, what does she do? She runs back to SOH. I did not see this as a gesture of asking for support to meet her son. I saw this as, "I want you to know what I did without you." --As other posters have pointed out, Cassie has been caught in a number of lies. One of them being how long she has been sober. I also feel that she cares more about herself than her son. When she talks, I get the impression that Cassie is insincere. Call it a hunch, but there it is. My final reason is that I thought the attempt to make a life for herself (the Errand Angel thing) was pathetic. It was like saying, "I either don't know how, nor do I care to be employed by someone else." I have a BF that says the two measuring sticks of "crazy" are whether or not someone can keep themselves living indoors, or if they can hold a job. If they can't do both--then, they are probably crazy. Everything that I have read about Cassie indicates she can't do either one. Does that give me compassion for her? Sure. Does it mean I'd invite her over for tea and crumpets? No. (*not that I have had a crumpet.)

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Mrs B 27 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"

04-28-06, 09:55 AM (EST)
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88. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
> I just would like to have some valid reasons from everyone
>who dislikes Cassie on why they think she is so worthless. I'm >not judging anyone, and I won't be judging any of the answers. I >am just stumped as to why she is hated so much. I know she used >to be a user, I know she lived a low life, I know she once had to >rely on other people. And she gave up her child for adoption. But >I'd like to hear the reasons why people hate her on such a >personal level. All those things she did were in her past. I guess >I just need insight as to why she should be despised so much.

I do not know her so have no personal dislike for her. Her actions are inappropriate at the very least. And returning to the SO house every blessed time she needs support is odd. If she is a recovering alcoholic or NA member, wouldn't she have a sponsor and a 12 step group to back her up (of course no cameras would be involved)? It just seems inconsistent (then again after Lisa1, I think the SO rules were jettisoned) and the opposite of helpful for Cassie's growth. And making a 19 year old responsible for his birth mother's happiness? Oh please!

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DivineWine 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"

04-29-06, 00:33 AM (EST)
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122. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
kree, I also wonder why so many people seem to hate Cassie. I think everyone makes mistakes in their lives (I know giving a child away is a really BIG decision). But she could have aborted him, or kept him & God knows what kind of life that child wouldv'e had. I think she made the best decision she could at that time in her life. She has spent every day since thinking about him....who's to say her son hasn't wondered & wanted to see his birth mom (what a miracle he must feel to learn she is alive). I guess I'm just feeling that Cassie has paid dearly for her decisions 19 years ago & deserves to at least meet her son. Also, Cassie is such a loving & kind person, I'm sure her son will feel that love.....& everyone can always have an extra person in their life to love them. JMO
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tac_2 351 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"

04-27-06, 05:29 PM (EST)
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66. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
That Cassie gets her motivation and aid in seeking out her son from self-professed life coaches (quacks) and television producers is what is most disturbing to me. Cassie has no track record of stability so, tell me, what reputable adoption search agency would condone her methods? I have to go with what the professionals would advise and I just do not believe that community would ever tell Cassie to literally, stalk her son and just as disturbing, degrade the adoptive mother on national television.

This is just so wrong on so many levels I'm totally mystified how if even happened. I have no doubt the oncoming meeting will be viewed as successful with all means used to get the viewers to weep right along with Cassie. But a year from now, maybe sooner, Cassie will be right back where she is now, blaming others (and maybe even her son) for her continuing failures. Only problem will be there will be no more suckers left to aid and abet her.

My feelings on this matter do not reflect in any way how I feel about others searching for birth families. Like many here, I've personally witnessed both successes and failures in that regard...but we're talking about Cassie here and she is, in no way, prepared to step into her birth son's life.


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passion4 20 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"

04-28-06, 07:57 PM (EST)
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110. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
You got that right, she's "Full" of it! Cassie's, little story about not drinking, drugging or hooking, during her pregnancy is a bunch of "crap"! What did she do, hit the bottle again right after his birth? If she has been sober for 13 years, that means she was out in the street for 6 years! You mean during her 13 years of sobriety, she has not managed to get herself together any better than, renting a room from someone?
Exactly, what has she been doing to better herself before coming to the starting over house! I think Cassie, has ran a few "con-games" on the adopted mother and she got tired of playing Cassie's games! She still has nothing to offer her son!
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nevertolate 5 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"

04-27-06, 04:53 PM (EST)
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64. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Cassie,
I don't know if you read the message boards but this one is for you. My mother left when I was a baby and never returned. I know what it is like to grow up without a mother. Being the youngest sometimes I think I was blamed for her disapearance. My brother and sister had no desire to see her. In fact they hated her. Me I had a restlessness about her. When ever I looked out a window I would think, Where is she? Is she East, West, North, South. I use to work in Manhatten. Sometimes I would walk down the street and wonder I could bunk into her and wouldn't know her. Many times I wondered where is she? Doesn't she love me? Doesn't she wonder what I look like? Why won't she come back? At 16 yo I vowed to myself someday I would find her. But the years went by and I wouldn't even know where to look. I would ask questions to my Dad and Aunts. What is her full name? When was she born? I would get very vague answers or they couldn't remember. But they did remember to tell me how bad she was. To make a long story short. It wasn't until my second marriage that my husband surprized me one Christmas and bought me books on how to locate someone? We went to the Mourman library and searched records, wrote for my birth certificate thinking years ago they put the mothers name on them. But, no luck. I wrote for the Marriage certificate no record. It was like finding a needle in a haystack. Bit by bit we would find one clue and put pieces of info together. I finally got a name on her and we did a process of elimination on finding a birthdate and then I think I got a social.. Well it was a week before Mothers day that I sat down and wrote the most beautiful love letter to a mother a never new. Asking her to please contact me and brought it over to the Social Security Office. I waited on line until it was my turn to go up to the next window. With tears in my eyes I asked the kind lady if she could please forward this to my mother. I had read that they won't give you the address but they will forward it. I believe she looked up the address and sent it on it's way. It was about 2 weeks before Mothers day. I thought for sure I would hear from her on Mothers day, in fact I stayed home that day waiting by the phone and asking my self what was I going to say when she called? What would we talk about? I was frighten to death. Would she sound like me? Would she even want a relationship? But the phone never rang that day and I thought for sure she doesn't love me, she never loved me and I cried that day and the whole week. Finally after weeks went by I said screw this I am going up to the Social Security office and find that lady. It seemed like forever I waited for her. Finally it was my turn up and I said, "Hi, you remember me? I brought a letter for you to send to my mother who left when I was a baby
and I am trying to locate her." The lady looked at me and I thought her face would turn white, she had this look on her face like Oh know, and she said, "I am so sorry. I thought you were notified your mother is DEAD".
"Oh, my God" I said. "No you must be mistaken" and I kept insisting for her not to say that. But she kept repeating it as gently as she could to me.
But the window of opportunity was gone. So go with great courage and embrace your son before it is to late. Give him the hugs he never received. I personally believe that everyone makes mistakes. I also believe that everyone really tries to do there best in life. People do things for resons. Maybe for survival. I will never know why my mother left. But I can rest assure that I don't have to look out that window and say where is she? The mistery is solved. I can now look out of the window and know where she was. So it is NEVERTOLATE! I am so glad you looked up your son.
You could of stayed in the past. You could of lived in your mistake forever and you choose not to. I can't wait to see the outcome. He probably will have a lot of questions and he will have a lot of losses, he may be very angry. But I think deep down inside somehow he will know you loved him enough to find him.
Good luck and God bless.

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nikkidemus 186 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

04-27-06, 05:44 PM (EST)
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68. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Wow nevertolate, beautiful post. I also agree that its never to late. At least Cassie and her son have agreed to at least meet with each other. It can turn out to be really great or it can turn out to be not so great. At least then they can move on. I am still waiting for my son to contact me, it has been 30 years and Im only 44 now so I still have plenty of time but as you said , maybe I dont. None of us know when were going to leave this beautiful earth. I had the choice all those years ago and now I want him to have the choice of contacting me if he so desires. You are a very kind and forgiving soul and whoever did raise you did an awesome, awesome job.
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Sweeti 138 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 05:54 PM (EST)
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71. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I firmly believe it's not what you say it is how you say it.That being said IMO the tone used to ask those questions was so evil. She could have stated her opinion/asked her questions without being such a b!tch about it.
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nevertolate 5 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"

04-27-06, 07:24 PM (EST)
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72. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Ahhhh....nikkidemus, that touched my heart. See I was reaching out to touch Cassie and say it's o.k. to be scared. It's o.k. to reach out and find your son, even if he were to reject you. Even though I don't think he will. And in return you touched my heart by just responding and being sensitive enough to say it touched you. In a way you validated my pain. That's all any of us really want. To say I hear you.
I understand. Thank you. Who raised me? I would like to say I think God had his hand over me, many times. I was raised in my younger years by a loving foster home with them I was able to taste what a family should be. To bad I wasn't able to stay with them. If ever I can help you I am here.
Thanks
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kfennessey464 27 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"

04-27-06, 05:51 PM (EST)
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69. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Nevertolate.....I have never before cryed reading the message boards... before today.....your story really touched my heart.... thank you for being strong enough to share.....I truly hope Cassie see what you wrote.....and ...As an Aunt of two adopted neices....I will pass your story along to my sister so she will know how important it may one day be for her girls to meet their biological mother......thanks for sharing such moving emotions... God bless & take care
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nevertolate 5 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"

04-27-06, 07:41 PM (EST)
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73. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
kfennessey464,
I hope I am allowed to answer your message, but I did want to respond. I cried too when I wrote it. It brought back many memories. What if...I had searched for her when I was 16yo then I would of meet her. But I learned a long time ago you can't say what if...
I hope that Cassie does see my note. Thank you for taking the time to respond and say I hear ya. It touched my heart to get not one but two replys. I didn't expect to get anything. As far as your sister and your role as a Aunt, my opinion is answer questions someday should they ask. If they ask then there is a whole inside somewhere they are trying to fill. It will have nothing to do with them not loving there adopted mother. It will be about them and there need to heel those empty spots. The best gift there adopted mom can give them is the gift to say I hear you, I'm here for you, and I will support your questions. She will help complete them and they will respect her for that. Thanks for caring.
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Cinnamongirl30 75 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 07:57 PM (EST)
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74. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I really fear for a meeting between Cassie and her son done on television. It is good that she is there for the support but I know that ratings take precedence over anything and I really hope that they don't take advantage of the situation. I do hope however, that they give Cassie some tips on controlling her emotions (to an extent) I know that it will be emotional but she has the tendancy to turn into a blubbering mess and I really hope that she keeps it together somewhat. He is what 17 or 18?? Teens at that age don't want to be smothered and kissed and read poems about aching hearts and woe. I really want to hear about his adoptive mother. To tell him that his birth mother was dead and lie like that shows deep issues. It's all nice and well that she raised him but that is crossing the line and playing with fire.
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mhb0125 485 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 01:00 AM (EST)
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82. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
From what I remember from last season Cassie's son has not had such a "better" life. (I'm not saying life with an alcoholic drug addict would have been better, either.) His adoptive mother has been married 2 or 3 times, she is very controlling, and has anger problems. The boy's stepmother came to the SO house and met with Cassie and gave her items of her sons and that's how Cassie got most of the stuff she has of his. The stepmother also said that the boy has had problems with drugs and alcohol and the adoptive mother would always say it was Cassie's fault. I think this woman (from what we have seen and heard on the tele) is a horrible person. To forge her son's signature and tell him that Cassie is DEAD--she is disgusting and vile.
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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 08:17 AM (EST)
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84. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
>From what I remember from last
>season Cassie's son has not
>had such a "better" life.
> (I'm not saying life
>with an alcoholic drug addict
>would have been better, either.)
> His adoptive mother has
>been married 2 or 3
>times, she is very controlling,
>and has anger problems.
>The boy's stepmother came to
>the SO house and met
>with Cassie and gave her
>items of her sons and
>that's how Cassie got most
>of the stuff she has
>of his. The stepmother
>also said that the boy
>has had problems with drugs
>and alcohol and the adoptive
>mother would always say it
>was Cassie's fault. I
>think this woman (from what
>we have seen and heard
>on the tele) is a
>horrible person. To forge
>her son's signature and tell
>him that Cassie is DEAD--she
>is disgusting and vile.


I never trust stories told by ex-husbands and their new wives. They rarely tell the whole truth and generally when the stories are nothing but vile it's because there's bad blood between both families. My understanding is the 2nd wife was having an affair with Dustin's adoptive father while he was still married in my mind that throws her credibility about the wife's personality, mothering abilities, etc. out the window. When you steal someone's husband it hardly makes you a judge of someone else's character and as a husband when you're cheating on your wife it hardly makes you a great character witness either.

We know little about Dustin's adoptive mother and frankly I give her credit for not wanting to drag herself in front of America with Dustin. If Dustin chooses to do so now that he's over 18 that's his choice but I give Mom lots of credit for protecting him until he was of age from Cassie. Her story is so full of holes about when she was sobor, calling the house when she supposedly was in her sobor years but admitting to being strung out at the time she contacted his adoptive mother. Why would you want to bring a drug addicted birth mother who obviously was drunk/on drugs on the phone when she called you into your child's life? If she can't stay sobor long enough to make a phone call what does she have to offer your child?

The fact that Dustin has had drug and achol problems is not suprising. First we only have Cassie's word that she was actually sobor when she was pregnant with Dustin which can create problems for children born to drug/achol addicted parents. Secondly, there is research to show that children of addicts have a much higher probablity of becoming addicts even if they don't live with their parents. That aside even kids who come from stable wonderful homes sometimes still turn to drugs so it is possible that even knowing Dustin's history and doing what she could to help him that Dustin still made bad choices and went down a bad path. Kids in America do so every day. The key is at least his mother wasn't teaching him how which would have been the case with Cassie if she hadn't lost him to foster care as a baby.

I'm not saying she's any prize but knowing what she knows of Cassie I'm not sure how I would have reacted either. I bet the camera Cassie and the stalker Cassie aren't the same.


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Cleverone 759 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 08:47 PM (EST)
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75. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"

Hi Nevertolate....I'm sorry your quest to find your mother turned out the way it did and I applaud you for trying to connect with her...you seem to be a genuinely kind person...it was nice of you to encourage Cassie on her journey...I truly hopes she reads your post...it's inspirational, especially since there's sooo much negativity towards her for wanting to meet her son, granted the public forum seems to be the main issue, however, I'm happy that she's being afforded the opportunity to do so under any circumstances..Cassie should be proud that she never gave up....God bless you for sharing with Cassie.

****************************
"I walk in my own shoes..."
****************************

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Boots12565 195 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 10:36 PM (EST)
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78. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
LAST EDITED ON 04-27-06 AT 11:10 PM (EST)

First of all Cassie chose to have her son-She could have chose abortion-She didnt.Her son is considered an adult now and wants to meet his birthmother-He had the option to refuse to meet her BUT instead he wants to.Nothing wrong with that-Its HIS choice!I hope Cassie has a good meeting with him and Cassie can answer some questions he probably has for her.I dont hold Cassies past against her-We have all made mistakes-I wish them BOTH the best!Tagging On: Nevertolate-GREAT POST!PEACE AT YA!

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nevertolate 5 desperate attention whore postings
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04-27-06, 10:38 PM (EST)
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79. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Cleverone,
Thank you for your kind words. I will just be grateful that I did find my Mom and can put it to rest. Especially, that I had no real name for my her and the fact that she changed her name. I also had no birthdate. It was a miricle. I think God was watching over me.
Back to Cassie. I am so glad that she has reached out to her son before he reached out to her. No matter what happens he cannot forget that fact. I hope that she is patient with him, as we are all on different growth lines. He has to go through his own process before understanding takes place. My heart goes out to them all, even the adopted Mom. Each coming from a different perspective of where they stand.
I know what her son must be going through excitment, fear, uncertainty. I know it will bring up a lot of emotion for me and loss.
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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 10:14 AM (EST)
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89. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Did we really need to see the entire car ride to the hotel? Cassie isn't fooling anyone, she's not ready for this meeting. I hope Dr. Stan has prepared Dustin.
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kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 12:03 PM (EST)
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90. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Well, but we have to think about how are you supposed to act when you meet your child for the first time? I think most people would be crying quite hard or just generally would be in a state of slight craziness. I think ti's more normal for someone to be like that in this type of situation than to be calm. Maybe he doesn't want her to be calm. Maybe he wants raw emotion.
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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 12:09 PM (EST)
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91. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I just thought it was pointless to watch the SUV driving. Are they that short of footage?
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kree 77 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 12:16 PM (EST)
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92. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I know! And what whores So are for not letting us see the reunion today. That pissed me off big time.
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zonkerpup 20 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 01:33 PM (EST)
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93. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
>I know! And what whores
>So are for not letting
>us see the reunion today.
> That pissed me off
>big time.


Did we really expect anything less? It's the SO way...

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mirage3033 100 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 01:55 PM (EST)
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94. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Jeeze, Cassie is about to melt into quivering jello!! Dr. Stan, slip her a zanax or something. PLEASE!!! if that goes against her addictive nature, sniff some lavendar or something. Why would anyone besides a deranged idiot or a TV producer want to broadcast such an emotional situation. this is not life coaching this is pimping. what an invasion of privacy for all involved....I don't even think I will watch Monday.
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standinmytruth 0 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 02:00 PM (EST)
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95. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
monday is may 1st, the begining of may sweeps. ratings, ratings ratings!
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tac_2 351 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 02:33 PM (EST)
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96. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Love this forum!
Another day I don't have to watch thanks to the later airing here.

So, they're going to drag it out, I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
But ohhhhh, thank you, thank you for the info on todays ep.

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Zoey 326 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 03:15 PM (EST)
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99. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I think Rhonda and Dr. Stan were right to coach her today about it being about him and not her. But I think that she was trying to placate the coaches by trying to act calm and submissive to her son's needs while really busting at the seems with excitment and her long-lasting selfish desires.

Cassie annoys me at times but I think that some people have been to harsh on her. The 2 things that stick out are her age, which I don't think matters - an addict is an addict and if you're not mature enough, you're not, simple as that. Secondly, many people would have considered other options. Cassie gave her son life and fulfilled a families dreams. I don't feel this should be overlooked. She was also lied to about the open adoption.

Please don't think this is a bash on any of you or your opinions, I respect all of your thoughts, these are just mine.

I fault Cassie for certain things, like disrespecting the adoptive parents wishes. But I also can't respect the adoptive family not telling their son at an early age that he was adopted. I suppose that's their choice but it's not that big of a deal today (imo).

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Juliejo 477 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 02:53 PM (EST)
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97. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Mirage you read my mind. Why would you have anything so personel as meeting your adoptive son aired on National TV? Unless Cassie is just unable to do anything on her own? Or maybe she wanted another new outift and her nails and hair done again for free.
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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 02:59 PM (EST)
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98. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
For all the insults this Adoptive Mother has had hurled at her does it not seem interesting she is the only one who hasn't whored herself on reality TV to get attention. When they showed the Step-Mom in flashbacks you could just see how much she was enjoying sticking it to the Adoptive Mom and the excitement of being on TV. Cassie can't get over her SO addiction, God help her when the show goes off the air. The Adoptive Mother has taken all the insults thrown at her by the SO staff, LC, Cassie, etc. and kept to herself and protected her son until he was old enough to choose for himself.

Cassie's stories about her and the Adoptive Mother are strange enough to make me wonder about how I would deal with her if I was in the Mother's shoes. Cassie is supposedly sobor now and even now she sounds half stoned when she speaks. She has no concept of bounderies and acceptable behavior so I can only wonder what SO hasn't told us about Cassie's behavior based on what lengths the Adoptive Mother has gone to keep Cassie away from the son.

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kalalala 75 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 05:46 PM (EST)
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107. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I really can't understand the wrath being vented at Cassie for meeting her son on a t.v. show. Perhaps it's not the way you would do it if you were in such a situation, but there's nothing evil about it. It's a show that purports to help people - whether it does or not will be debated for a long time. Cassie feels that it has helped her. They have supported her and encouraged her and counselled her in many ways and she obviously appreciates all the help she has gotten. I know I, personally, would turn to people who have been a great help to me if I was being confronted with a life changing situation. The advice that Rhonda and Dr. Stan are giving Cassie seems very reasoned and reasonable to me, and very needed by Cassie so she doesn't become completely unstrung in her excitement. Many, many, many t.v. shows feature reunions with birth parents and their children. They are generally considered very touching and moving and bring tears to most people's eyes. SO has been even more interesting to me because it has shown the work involved, the ups and downs, the highs and lows, of this convoluted situation, for any birth parent or birth child. It is seldom a nice little filmed two minute clip that ends up in hugs and tears for the participants.

Without getting into disecting every single little thing that Cassie has done, right or wrong, through the years, I am touched by her excitement and palpable joy at this opportunity to meet her son. Whether the adoptive parents are right or wrong, the step parents right or wrong, in the long run, it doesn't matter at this point. Her son has agreed to see her, and who knows whether it will become a relationship that's healthy for both of them. The majority of adopted children are curious in some way about the situation that led to their adoption, and about what their birth parents are like. Most understand and realize that it doesn't take away from the parents who raised them, but it's natural to wonder about your natural heredity. And it's insulting to birth mothers to call them just gene donors. They carried that child inside of them for nine months, they went through the pain and agony of childbirth, and their courage in realizing that they may not be able to care for and nurture that child the way the child deserves to be cared for and nurtured, should be lauded, not ridiculed and criticized. It many not be a decision you would make for yourself, but Cassie, and other birth mothers, were brave enough to make it for their own children. And kudos to Cassie for getting her life in order, as much as she has been capable of, and for never giving up on her dream of seeing her son again. That's true mother love.

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WaveSeeker 8 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 06:27 PM (EST)
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108. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
> Why would anyone besides a deranged idiot or
> a TV producer want to broadcast such an emotional situation.
> this is not life coaching this is pimping.
> what an invasion of privacy for all involved....I don't
> even think I will watch Monday.

I'm going to watch, but yeah, how the SO producers managed to waste a couple of shows ("pimping" is exactly right) on this reunion was astonishing.


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cndlgrl 3 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 03:53 PM (EST)
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101. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
It really ticked me off too. Yesterday when they were airing previews of what would happen today they said we would "see" the reunion.
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DivineWine 0 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-06, 00:44 AM (EST)
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123. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
to: nevertolate.......Your message brought me to tears. If anyone has a right to express their thoughts about Cassie trying to see her son.....you have done it. I totally agree she should meet him face to face. God Bless you, I am so sorry you weren't able to meet your mom, but I know she had to have loved you enough to let you go....& I'm sure she wouldv'e been proud of what a loving & forgiving woman you turned out to be.
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started over again and again 6 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-06, 08:39 PM (EST)
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135. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son/hot all have happy endings just as nevertolate"
Hopefully I wont get kicked out, as, I did one other time, when i tried to post something...all because I failed to read ALL of the boards and repeated something.
I just want to say,I applaud Cassie, no matter what, she did give birth to the boy, and she gave him up to have a better life, believing she would be able to be in touch with him through out his lifetime.
I was adopted in 1952, not until I was 20 did I find that my birthmother was dead, she died in 1959, leaving 6 other siblings to be left in foster homes, adoptive homes, and orphanages. It took me another 25 years to find everyone, plus...her husbands extended family, all in all over 14 kids!
It was thru the internet, chat and adoptive chat rooms that I found the one sister that I can actually relate to....
Imagine the pain I felt when we all got together for the first time in one room, first time in 40 years since our mom had died, and, they had no reason to remember me, or even be excited to meet me, but were delighted to "see" the two which had been babies when she died,....they didnt know about me, everyone had been told the baby "died" when she gave me up, or didnt even know she was pregnant!!! ....now, all the aunts and uncles who knew the truths, are dead, but,when they were alive refused to tell us anything because such things were "better off not said" which is a bunch of B.S!!!
I have struggled all my life with needing to feel accepted, and
significant in even just a small way....
I hope Cassie and her son can have a good reunion, and, a meaningful life from now on. Not all reunions are happy endings sigh!
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jonimoni 136 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 03:26 PM (EST)
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100. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I was sooooooo happy to hear Dr Stan say that he was meeting with Dustin first, to prepare him. I was also happy to see Rhonda FINALLY telling Cassie that it may NOT be all she dreamed of....a little late...ok, alot late...but better late than never. Go Dr. Stan!!!!
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Labyrinth 1248 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 04:05 PM (EST)
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102. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
My biggest problem with Cassie is how she talks about HER SON. She discusses her relationship like she just stepped away to the bathroom and was gone for a few minutes from his life. She constantly talks about HER SON and never acknowledges the adoptive mother is probably HIS MOTHER seen from HIS eyes.

She obviously did not use the legal system to notify Dustin about herself as the attorney advised. She still doesn't have a job/income. She doesn't have a home of her own to live in. Yet she has a lot to offer Dustin? Hm I wonder if she isn't thinking she can put the touch on him for money? Or at least a place to live (support ole mom, Dustin, won't you?).

There is more to being a mother then biology Cassie. Since the show is milking this for Sweeps week, I'll not be watching. Thanks SO!

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 04:14 PM (EST)
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103. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Hey look at what you can become too? Look what you have to look forward to at 40? Maybe it would work as a scared straight type experience. Get your life together or you'll end up like your birth mother, unemployed, questionable sobriety, using friend and family until they won't let you anymore, and becoming a reality whore.

If that doesn't scare Dustin straight nothing will. Hopefully it won't drive him in the oppisite direction.

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Zoey 326 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 04:14 PM (EST)
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104. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Well, with all due respect, there is also a lot more to being a mother than money.

I truly believe that even though her intent is mostly selfish, that she just wants to know him and for him to know that she is there for him.

I think she wants to answer any questions he may have and also to get to know him. Being there for him doesn't really require money, maybe just emotional support.

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Labyrinth 1248 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 04:51 PM (EST)
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105. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
>Well, with all due respect, there
>is also a lot more
>to being a mother than
>money.

And that's my point... what has Cassie done that was a true mother? Was she there when he grew up? Did she pay for his college? Did she teach him right from wrong? Did she go to parent-teacher conferences? Did she drive him to a sports game so he could play?

Nope. Let's see she stayed sober 14 years, nope, 7 years, ah nope, she stayed sober 4 years? Is that to be believed when we know she was drunk when she called his adoptive mom?

Cassie has principles? Then why did she not do what the adoption lawyer tell her to do? No instead she called HER SON at work.

Cassie is responsible? Then why doesn't she have a J-O-B - even working at McDonalds? Why doesn't she have her own apartment? Let me guess she wants to live in California like the rest of the SO ho's.

If this were in Juvenile Court to see who would be the "guardian" nothing Cassie has on her record - even TODAY would result in having a child in her care per the legal system. She is a former drug and alcohol addict who still rents a room and doesn't have a job. Oh but she does get a salary from SO! And clothes from Andy! Wow!

The best Cassie can do is meet Dustin and then tell him that she is there for him if he wants to call. I fully expect this visit to result in a disappointed Cassie (she obviously fully expects him to be so impressed that she has been looking for him) and for HER SON to be further confused about life and who he is.

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Mrs B 27 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 04:53 PM (EST)
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106. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
LAST EDITED ON 04-28-06 AT 05:43 PM (EST)

>Well, with all due respect, there is also a lot more to being a >mother than money.
>
>I truly believe that even though her intent is mostly selfish, >that she just wants to know him and for him to know that she is
>there for him.
>
>I think she wants to answer any questions he may have and also to >get to know him. Being there for him doesn't really require money,
>maybe just emotional support.
>

With no disrespect intended, can someone who is not emotionally stable provide emotional support? Cassie's lack of money is less of an issue (So Cal is hellishly expensive and living paycheck to paycheck was normal for most singles and many married couples when I was living there) than her mindset. And how can she "be there fo him" when she is not holding down ANY kind of a job or in any way is a mature responsible adult?

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 07:11 PM (EST)
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109. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Nobody has ever said it was about money, it's about being a stable person. You can't be there for someone else when you aren't there for yourself. Cassie can't help herself and is likely to need support from her son, not likely to be able to provide it. She will take from him not give to him even if she wants to, she can't because she isn't healthy enough to help him and that's the whole issue with Cassie.

It isn't about having money to impress him it's about being stable enough that she has the tools not to hurt him but to help him. She can't be an example to him except of how not to live his life.

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Boots12565 195 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 08:21 PM (EST)
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111. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I have a question-Do you think the reunion will actually be SHOWN on air?Im not looking for a spoiler-I know its not allowed-BUT-I kinda got the impression today that it might not be.I personally dont think it should be-To give Dustin some privacy-BUT we shall see-I also thought it was really LAME to keep us viewers hanging like that.I hope everything goes well for Dustin and Cassie-PEACE
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Zoey 326 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 08:43 PM (EST)
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112. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I just think it's unfair to judge Cassie based on her financial situation, where she lives or what kind of job she has. They are not meeting so that she can financially support him and being that she gave him up for adoption, that wasn't her responsibility and isn't now.

Wether she is emotionally capable is a different subject, however, he probably has certain questions for Cassie and vica versa.

In my opinion Cassie should be applauded - while she decided not to be a mother, she DID decide to let someone else be a mother to her child. This gave a gift to both her son and his adoptive family. Many people would have chose abortion. She couldn't handle caring for a child. To a point, this has to be (in my opinion) a selfless act. It can't be easy to have a child and then give it away.

I definitely think that Cassie's reasons are mostly selfish but I also think that A) she was lied to about the open adoption, which also means that B) the son was lied to and not told he was adopted.

I don't think it would be right for Cassie to seek him out if it was against his wishes but now that he wants to meet her, I think all is good.

The only thing Cassie owes him (in my opinion) is what he wants to know and being cautious about not bashing his adoptive parents.

If all she gets is to see him and know he's ok and he gets any questions answered, I would consider it a success.

If what we've heard is true. that he didn't know until recently that he was adopted, he must have more questions than he would have if he knew at a much younger age. I really disagree with his adoptive parents decision on this matter but that's their business.

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Labyrinth 1248 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 09:03 PM (EST)
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113. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
>I just think it's unfair to
>judge Cassie based on her
>financial situation, where she lives
>or what kind of job
>she has.

We'll just have to disagree on this one.

Having steady employment is a MAJOR sign of stability - both emotionally and psychologically. Cassie has not had stable employment and there are reasons for this: such as her unreliability, the changing stories, her addiction to drugs and attention, as well as not doing as she is told by a superior (i.e. we know the lawyer told her not to contact the son - she did anyway didn't she?).

For Cassie to be her age, and supposedly drug free, why hasn't she had steady employment ANYWHERE? I don't care if she wants to do Angel Work, flip hamburgers, or being the secretary to the President of the United States. But not to have a steady employment history - and being single (so she is her sole means of support) indicates major instability that would be a problem for a parent.

I don't care if she is rich or poor but to be unemployed and living in someone's room, and choosing to live in So. Cal.... hmmm not a wise decision in anything there.

Cassie is unreliable. She is emotionally needy. She wants her story to be the "right one" (i.e. better then adoptive mom), and she still calls a child she hasn't seen since he was three HER SON. She needs to have a Major Reality Check.

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jonimoni 136 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 09:16 PM (EST)
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114. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
We know by Cassie's own words today that she last saw Dustin when he was 3 years old. So up till that point the adoption was open, we also know that Cassie contacted the a-mom drunk, more than once, by her own admission as well. I am more than certain that this was enough to put an end to an open adoption. You cannot have an open adoption where the birth parent floats, drunk and drugged, in and out of a childs life at their whim, demanding visitation. Children need stability and structure, Cassie did not follow her end of the bargain and then went on tv and repeated a bunch of second hand info that made her look like St. Cassie, and the a-mom look like crap. The only person we know for certain that has lied in this equation has been Cassie herself. The a-mom has had the dignity to stay off our tv sets and keep her private life private. The ONLY person who said that Dustin was told she was dead was St. Cassie.....the known liar.... The only person who has said that Dustin was never told he was adopted was again St. Cassie, the a-dad said he did know... again a liar... St. Cassie who also told Rhonda that she would follow Dustin's real mothers wishes and the lawyers advice and leave him alone and then St. Cassie did what, called his employer....liar again..I would not believe her if she said the grass was green...I would have to go outside look myself.
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Juliejo 477 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 10:10 PM (EST)
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115. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I am glad that Cassie gave the boy up for adoption because drugs and raising children do not mix. You raise children by example and lets face it Cassie is not the example that he needed to follow. But I dont' think Cassie would have stopped until she met her son. She has been obessed with it. I also dont see how it can turn out to be anymore than just the two of them meeting each other and him seeing his birth mother and asking her any questions he may have. Because she has nothing more to offer him. Cassie has not been able to even take care of herself much less a teenage boy. She knows nothing of stability and structure, hard work and responsibility. She is just lucky that Dr. Stan is helping her with this or I dont' think Dustin would be meeting with her at all. He may just want to see her and tell her to stay out of his life. Who knows? I too get the feeling that we will not see them meet. We will just hear about it after it is over. I hope they keep it private as this doesnt need to aired on national TV. It is a very private matter.
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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 10:36 PM (EST)
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116. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Labyrinth wrote: <<:Having steady employment is a MAJOR sign of stability - both emotionally and psychologically.>>

Zoey wrote: <<The only thing Cassie owes him (in my opinion) is what he wants to know and being cautious about not bashing his adoptive parents.>>

Mrs B wrote: <<With no disrespect intended, can someone who is not emotionally stable provide emotional support? Cassie's lack of money is less of an issue (So Cal is hellishly expensive and living paycheck to paycheck was normal for most singles and many married couples when I was living there) than her mindset. And how can she "be there fo him" when she is not holding down ANY kind of a job or in any way is a mature responsible adult?>>

Baxtera wrote: <<Nobody has ever said it was about money, it's about being a stable person. You can't be there for someone else when you aren't there for yourself. Cassie can't help herself and is likely to need support from her son, not likely to be able to provide it. She will take from him not give to him even if she wants to, she can't because she isn't healthy enough to help him and that's the whole issue with Cassie.>>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, these are my feelings:

Dustin, at age 19, is considered an adult. Neither Cassie nor the adoptive mother have a legal obligation to support him, so what Cassie has to offer financially doesn’t matter. Cassie might have difficulty supporting herself, but that is a problem she must work out for her own sake, not Dustin’s.


Now, I understand no one is saying that Cassie should be at a certain income level in order to meet her son, but in some ways I feel that Cassie is being held to a higher standard than most parents who choose to keep and raise their children. For example, if being able to hold a regular job is a prerequisite for being emotionally and psychologically stable, why are so many mothers on welfare, and getting WIC and food stamps? Apparently, the government isn’t stepping in to take their children away because these women can’t find/keep/qualify for jobs. Also, how many moms are emotionally and psychologically unstable, yet enjoy the illusion of a perfect, normal life, because they happen to be married and have men to support them? Is Lisa2 unqualified to have a relationship with her kids because she doesn't work outside the home, and has a husband to support her while she stays in her room watching TV? Why should Cassie need a need an impressive resume simply to meet with her son? At 19, Dustin is pretty much “raised” already, so it’s not like Cassie is looking to re-raise him.

Right now, all I think she is obligated to offer him is the opportunity to meet his birth mother, if he so desires. That may be the greatest gift of all, judging by nevertolate’s post (which was extremely touching, by the way).

What I find suspicious is the adoptive mother’s attitude. Now we don’t know her; all we know is what we’ve been shown on SO. But if it’s true that she informed Dustin that his birth mother was dead, that was an offense against Dustin, as well as Cassie. Everyone agrees that Dustin should be able to decide if he wants to meet Cassie, what kind of relationship he wants to have with her, without Cassie forcing anything on him. However, I believe it is equally wrong for the adoptive mother to take these choices away from him by lying to him that his biological mother is dead. It’s also wrong to forge his signature or trick him into signing (or whatever) a notarized document. I get the sense that this woman is doing these things out of her own selfish interests, rather than out of any concern for Dustin. I think she just doesn’t want to be bothered with Cassie. I also get the feeling that she doesn’t want her own skeletons to come tumbling out of the closet. If what we’ve heard is true, she wasn’t a perfect parent herself. I also wonder…if she and Dustin have such a wonderful mother-son relationship, why does she appear to be so threatened by Cassie? If the adoptive mother and Dustin have such a close, loving relationship, and she’s raised him so well, then there is no danger of Cassie disturbing that simply as a result of meeting with her son. Just my opinion…as I’ve said, we don’t really know the whole story about the adoptive mother.

On a lighter note, maybe it is just because the SOH seems to be full of “deadbeats” right now, but I found Cassie entertaining today.

I laughed when she told Rhonda she needed to go back “for my tic-tacs!!! It wasn’t so much what she said, but rather the way she said it. LOL, then she offered Rhonda one. I also laughed when she asked Rhonda if her outfit was “cheerful and inviting”, and when she asked, “I don’t look old old, do I?


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Boots12565 195 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 11:08 PM (EST)
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118. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Snowflake2-Great Post!If only I had your way with words(SIGH)You said what Ive been thinking-I agree it was TOTALLY wrong for the adoptive mom to tell Dustin Cassie was dead!WTH?!!Anyway -((((((HUGS AT YA!)))))))))))))))))
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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 11:32 PM (EST)
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119. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Awwww, thanks, Boots! (((((HUGS RIGHT BACK!)))))

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26mitogo 493 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 10:36 PM (EST)
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117. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Baxtera, Labyrinth, and others ... I totally agree with your discomfort regarding Cassie's meeting with Dustin.

In general, I don't have a problem with a woman who gave a child up for adoption wanting to meet that child ... and the child wanting to meet the biological mother. I totally understand Cassie wanting to meet Dustin. The problem I have is the UGRENCY of this meeting, the way it has been handled, and Cassie's attitude and stability in general. I don't "hate" Cassie, never have ... don't really know her. What I know OF her & what we've seen concerns me. The way Cassie handles herself and her life, IMO, is veeerrrrryyy childish ... extremely immature. She handles herself as if she were actually closer to a toddler in age. If you knew nothing about her actual age, never actually saw her, and didn't know she was an adult of any age, the language she uses, her demeanor, her reactions, her emotions, even the sound of her voice, and most of the things she does could easily be mistaken for a very young child. Even her body movements, gestures, etc. are much like a child. I don't know if she has always been that way, if the drugs & alcohol stunted her ability to mature, or if it has just worked to continue playing the part of the child as her way of getting people to do things for her, or some other reason. I even see Rhonda talk to her and work with her as if she were either a child or had a mental disability.

My biggest concern is for Dustin. He's had a tough life, from the little information we have received. I'm not sure I would be able to handle someone with Cassie's instability and lack of boundries & good sense in my life ... and I am an adult that has raised a child. I've tried to put myself in the shoes of an adoptive mother who's child's biological mother was Cassie. I don't like the idea of lying to a child but it IS done every day. (Hey, even Santa is a lie.) But we have to remember, the Cassie we see is the absolute BEST version of Cassie to date. This is the repaired, healed Cassie. This isn't the Cassie of 20 ... 10 ... even 2 years ago. This isn't the Cassie Dustin's mother was dealing with over the years. I'm not sure I'd want my child involved with this Cassie yet, much less any of the versions prior to this one. It seems Cassie was involved in Dustin's life until he was 3 years old. We don't have the adoptive mother's side of the story but she may have deemed it very unhealthy for Dustin and the rest of them to even have Cassie around. Maybe they didn't trust that she would not take Dustin for "play dates" while under the influence. Maybe Cassie requested help ... afterall, she was sleeping around for a place to live and food. Maybe she even asked to live with them again ... we've been told that until recently she was staying with friends and has made a habit of staying with anyone that would take her in. Maybe the parents were afraid that if Dustin even knew about Cassie, every time he became angry with them he might try to find her, threaten to go live with her. We've been told he's had drug and/or alcohol problems. I think I would be afraid for my child also.

I can put myself in Cassie's shoes and see why she wants to see Dustin ... and I don't think she should be forever denied that. But I know as a mother I would have been more apt to be accomodating if the child's biological mother contacted me in a more mature way, proven over years that she was not the woman they previously dealt with. The insistance on "right now" would prove to me that Cassie was still more like a child, not willing to work with me over many years, if that's what it took. Instead, she used very questionable methods to push her way onto my child. I also know, having someone on a reality show wanting to meet my son on camera would have increased my resolve to keep my child away from her. Add that she has now gone behind by back, basically stalked my child, got all kinds of negative information on me from my x-husband and his wife that he was cheating with while we were still married, etc. and I'm not sure I'd be a whole lot nicer even tho I am not a "bitter, angry" person. Just like any mother, even in the animal kingdom, I could become extremely angry if I thought my child's physical or mental health were in danger from ANYONE!

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Boots12565 195 desperate attention whore postings
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04-28-06, 11:43 PM (EST)
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120. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
LAST EDITED ON 04-28-06 AT 11:46 PM (EST)

Dont you think though that the adoptive mom telling him his Biological mom was dead was taking it to a whole other level??If I was Dustin-Id be pretty PI$$ed OFF about that-Confused-etc........It is what is is after all-We all know Cassies story-NOW-The truth comes out all around-Im glad hes 19 AND an adult-Hopefully Dr.Stan will come to the rescue and Cassie AND Dustin will both have resolution-PEACE AND JMHO

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Twinkles 324 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-06, 00:18 AM (EST)
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121. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Luckily there will be some guidance for the reunion. As I tried to say above, I don't think things bode well for the future because of Cassie's limitations. I'd like to be more specific this time.

My birth mother left when I was newborn. I don't know if anyone knew why. The subject was taboo. I was told it was because my father was violent but there is also reason to believe it had to do with her having another relationship (I swear I didn't get this from the show - I mentioned in another thread there were similarities to Kim's situation)

I did have nightly rescue or runaway fantasies to get away from my father and his 2nd wife and go to my mother. I had overheard what city she lived in. But I realized she hadn't wanted me before, she wouldn't want me at 7.

As an adult, I did have occasions to visit with her and it was just awkward. I had no enthusiasm to meet her. She had no interest in knowing anything about me. The painful parts were that she would blurt out things in jokes that would be extremely inappropriate and insensitive. We both ended up on the same flight once because of a wedding and she was too out of it to find her way through the airport, so I was guiding her to the gate. I actually took hold of both our tickets at one point and for the first time in my life realized we had the same first initial and last name. She kept walking off the wrong way and after the 3rd or 4th time of correcting her; I was still reeling from seeing her initial and last name and realizing it was the same as mine and in that moment she laughs and blurts out "What did I do without you all my life?" I was furious and silent. That's just one example. Reunions can suck.

There's more to the story. I didn't run into her often. She went hallucenogens recreationally and went to concerts for fun. I had to study to try to finish at a major university. I wasn't interested in her offers to hang out where she would put down university students.

So anyway, I concluded for a variety of reasons that she wasn't a capable person. Life seemed overwhelming to her and I could see how all those years before that having one more child and a rage-filled, conservative husband had been too much. It's just too painful for me to be reminded of feeling abandoned by knowing anything else about her.

About Cassie - I thought I had something to offer here because I can imagine someone meeting her and reacting to how incapable she is, too. Maybe - maybe she is truly interested in her son's life, beyond meeting him. At this point it's hard to tell if it's more than excitment and fulfilling a quest. She just doesn't talk about wondering about HIM - his details, his interests, school, style, music, personality, what kind of boy he is, what kind of man he wants to be, etc.

I'm worried for him, too, that she doesn't seem to have much going on in her life. If she's lonely would she keep clinging to him and need constant advice about letting him go (if it's best). She just doesn't seem ready. I know Rhonda kept saying she is. I'm sure Cassie is more ready than ever before.

I'd have a much better feeling about this if Justin had contacted her. Much. The examples that have been given of successful reunions are those where the child wanted to contact the parent initially. It seems to make all the difference.

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Boots12565 195 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-06, 01:50 AM (EST)
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124. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
IMHO-If Dustin didnt think Cassie was DEAD-Maybe he would have tried to contact her-Who knows?Seems to me he never got a choice-Big Mistake by the A-Mom-Its gonna come back to haunt her-She should have come clean in the Beginning-I feel sorry for Dustin-AND Cassie-Both were cheated-JMHO-PEACE
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Twinkles 324 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-06, 05:37 AM (EST)
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126. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Good point. It's a bit of a mess with the struggles of the adoptive mother. I wonder if he's feeling more pressure or curiosity at this point. All the best to him.

Yes I didn't factor in the "death news". I missed that part of the story in SO.

In my personal situation I was never told my mother was dead. The worst thing I got was I was supposed to hate white people because my mother was white and she made my father suffer. Now, being that I'm half-white so I just immediately translated that as that meant they hated me. Ah, the mind of a kid.

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mhb0125 485 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-06, 02:48 AM (EST)
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125. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Ultimately, it was up to Dustin to meet Cassie so I don't understand the "URGENCY" problem. After Dustin called her back they didn't have to meet, I'm sure it was his idea. He is a 19 year old boy that doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to. The whole situation to me is ODD. Nothing adds up from what Cassie has said or from what we know about his mother. I feel so sorry for Dustin. I'm sure it's harder for a male to meet his bio mother than it is a female because us chicks are more forgiving. (I'm not saying it's easy for anyone.) I'd say he wants to know why he was adopted and feels/felt unwanted by Cassie but also feels resentment towards his mother for controlling him and lying to him about the truth.

From the preview for Monday's reunion gala it sounded like Cassie was disappointed by what happened. Maybe Dustin wanted to meet her in person ASAP to finally fulfill her dream of meeting him once and for all and he probably doeesn't want anything more to do with her.

The issue of airing it on tv is a tough one. There is sappy and shocking stuff shown on tv everyday. Watch Oprah or Dr. Phil and you can cry and gasp in the same breath!! For SO to do this can be viewed in poor taste but you know we all want to see what Dustin looks like and see what happens. Bottom line is: If Dustin didn't want to do it HE WOULDN'T. I wouldn't doubt if his face is pixeled, though.

My opinion of the situation without knowing anything about anyone involved is I think it's wonderful for a birth mother to locate their child. My mother gave up a child at 16 because her parents forced her to. She was married 4 years later and had me. My mother has no wish to locate the daughter she gave up because she doesn't want to interfere in her life, she doesn't want to make conflict if she doesn't know she is adopted, and my mother has so much guilt about giving her up and then keeping me but they are two totally different circumstances. I would absolutely LOVE to locate my halfsister but I feel guilt, too. I wouldn't want her to resent me because my mom kept me and raised me. Adoption is such a sticky situation. I just hope Cassie will be happy now that she was able to meet him and go on with her life. I hope she can get a job, support herself and live on her own. I hope she can afford to buy her own clothes so doesn't have to keep coming to the SO house to get a new outfit every few months!! Sheesh!

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mirage3033 100 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-06, 12:58 PM (EST)
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127. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Twinkles

That is very sad. One of the main points in divorce is not tearing down the other parent because kids know they are half of their mother and half of their father. they naturally take their identity from their parents. I hope that now as an adult you know that you are a worthwhile person and a very insightful one at that. I am sure it was a shock for Cassie to hear that she was reported dead but has she even considered that the A Mom was protecting Dustin. I am with
26mitoga on a mother doing 'anything' to protect her child. I am sure when the A Mom adopted Dustin she did not count on taking on Cassie to raise.

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tac_2 351 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-06, 01:17 PM (EST)
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129. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Dustin could have been persuaded to meet with Cassie because she would be the one to give him info on his birth father (and other blood relatives). I think that would definitely be one of the questions he'd ask.

I don't recall Cassie speaking about the birth father which I find a wee bit strange since he definitely plays into this drama now that it's all been exposed on a cheesy television show.

I know one thing for sure, I wouldn't want to be Cassie when Dustin asks, "Who is my birth father?".

btw, anyone know, did they say if Dustin was flying in from out of state for this meeting?

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26mitogo 493 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-06, 01:04 PM (EST)
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128. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
mhb0125 ... Wow, your mother sounds like a loving compassionate person that has always tried to put the needs of her children first. No parent is ever perfect but from what you said and from the values you seem to have learned from her, you two sound like you would be the type of biological "relatives" most adopted children would love to someday meet. I think the attitude of concern for each other, the adopted child, as well as the adoptive parents tells all. I know nothing about how adoptions/reunions work but have you or your mother ever registered like they told Cassie to ... in case your half-sister is also looking for her bio-mother?

I cannot even imagine having a child out there that I knew nothing about and never saw. I too would never want to do anything to disrupt that child's life or do harm in any way but I think the child would be something in the back of my mind every day. I think your statement "Adoption is such a sticky situation." pretty much sums up this entire subject. There are so many unknowns, what-ifs, yes-buts, and maybes that there is never a clear answer. I'm sure everyone who has given a child up for adoption has often over many years thought about the stages of growth the child is in, what he/she looks like, is doing, etc. and had the hope that they grew up in a loving happy home. I'm sure there is also fear of finding out the child did not end up in a great home or maybe ended up making bad life choices regardless of the home situation.

I wanted to clear up something I said in an earlier post that I believe you made reference to. You said: >>"Ultimately, it was up to Dustin to meet Cassie so I don't understand the "URGENCY" problem. After Dustin called her back they didn't have to meet, I'm sure it was his idea. He is a 19 year old boy that doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to."<<

The "urgency" I was refering to had more to do with Cassie's approach before she actually found/spoke with Dustin. I completely understand Cassie's need and overwhelming desire to locate and talk to Dustin. My concern has more to do with the "he's 18, I have a legal right to do anything I want" feeling I've gotten from her. Once she talked to him, it would be natural progression to meet soon after.

Another thing that gives me unease with this whole thing is that even the phone conversation Cassie had with Dustin has been shrouded in secrecy. According to Cassie, they spoke for 45 minutes. All we've heard about the conversation is that he'd been told his biological mother was dead, he wanted to know "Why now?", and ..... shoot, something else from Friday's episode that I can't remember!! There was either a lot more in that conversation that if revealed would give away the course this "relationship" eventually takes or Cassie spent the remainder of the time telling Dustin her life story ... her version ... possibly a lot of the stuff Rhonda told her not to go into at their face-to-face meeting.

There is something else that doesn't ring solid for me ... like one thing being said, another being done (which could simply be editing, who knows.) Cassie says over and over that all she wants ... all she has ever wanted is for Dustin to know she is alive. That's all. I don't buy that and I don't think anyone else expects that's all Cassie wants. I would just love to see her be more honest about the whole thing.

Since the meeting is taking place as it is, I am soooo thankful that Dr.Stan is spending time with Dustin before he meets Cassie. Hopefully he can give Dustin the support he needs, makes sure he knows he doesn't owe Cassie anything, and if he becomes uncomfortable he can stop at anytime. I know Dustin must be going through every emotion in the books. And the cameras just add that much more pressure. I suspect the first meeting might be somewhat different without cameras. I wonder if he spoke to his mother about his phone conversation with Cassie before he came to LA. That couldn't have been all too pretty. YIKES!

If SO is indeed going away I guess we will never know the final outcome of this delima, especially since there are a lot of things that may play out over several years. I fear Cassie's days on SO may convince her to "coach" "her son" for years to come, giving him mostly her words of wisdom rather than just getting to know him. I have a feeling this is the area Cassie feels she has the most to offer Dustin. She may feel she has come a long way but she hasn't spent 19 years with any child. Does she understand what 19 year olds want & need? I know Rhonda stressed leaving this out of this 1st meeting, I hope they tell her to leave it out unless it is asked for in the future. Then again, we already know Cassie does what she wants anyway.

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PanchoVilla 39 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-06, 03:16 PM (EST)
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130. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I think Cassie is just setting herself up for dissapoinment. We all know from before Dustin has had drug and alcohol issues. It doesnt seem like hes in a good place. I feel sorry for her. If she had gotten married, had more kids, she wouldnt be so aggressive with this one. She seems like a stalker. Her hair did look pretty. When she cleans up she can be attractive!
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kalalala 75 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-06, 05:18 PM (EST)
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131. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
"Hopefully he can give Dustin the support he needs, makes sure he knows he doesn't owe Cassie anything"

I agree with much of your post, but this line got me. Dustin owes Cassie his LIFE. Gracious, she was the one that carried him inside her and birthed him and was courageous enough to give him up to a hopefully better life than she could provide for him. It just bothers me that a birth mother isn't (by many people) given respect and credit for giving a child life. I think maybe you're saying that Dustin shouldn't feel it is up to him now to make up for the shitty life that Cassie has had, because of course, she made those decisions herself and has nobody else to blame but herself for being forty and not having a lot to show for herself. I give her credit for coming to her senses and trying, as best as she has been able to, to pull herself up and make herself worthy to meet her son. I fear she has put so much into this quest, that she may not be able to handle distance from Dustin if that is what he chooses after having met her, but let's hope the SO people can help her with whatever the future holds for both of them.

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jonimoni 136 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-06, 06:03 PM (EST)
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132. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Sorry, but I do not agree that Dustin owes Cassie a thing. A parent owes a child the best she can give, by choosing to become pregnant the entire weight of his life is all on Cassie. He did not choose to be born. Sorry, but I don't think my children owe me a thing, I chose to have them and I am, with my husband, responsible for giving them the best I can give, emotionally and financially. If I have done my job well, my reward is adult children who treat me with respect, dignity and who want to spend time with me. So far I have done very well, my kids are really nice human beings, I am proud of them. Cassie could not afford to give Dustin anything, so she made the best choice for him, to give him a chance at a better life. If he chooses to meet and then never ever see her again, she has gotten more than she bargained for. There is no unwritten rule that says adoption is giving a child up for 18 years and once all the really, really difficult work of raising the child is about finished, boom! you get to fly in and say, "hey, I am your real mom." That is just crap and Cassie is getting the supreme gift right now, in tv time, that gift is he met with her. She saw him, touched his skin, talked to him and I hope to heaven that she knows what a gift SHE has been given. Many birth moms do not get what she has gotten, and in my cold opinion there were many who were far more worthy.
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kalalala 75 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-06, 07:48 PM (EST)
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133. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
"He did not choose to be born."

No, he did not choose to be born, but Cassie did make the choice to birth him, and to give him life. Perhaps I was not clear enough in my post, that I DO NOT think Dustin owes her anything for the crummy life Cassie has had up to this point, for the angst she has felt over not being able to be involved in his life. But surely giving life to the boy must be worth something and I just felt some people were totally dismissive of Cassie because they don't like her voice, or her hair, or going on a t.v. show or whatever, and that they don't think she deserves to find some happiness by meeting her son. Hopefully, she isn't saying she is his "real" mom. She is his birth mom, and nothing can take away the credit due to his adoptive mom for doing the hard work of raising him, whatever kind of a job she did. However badly Cassie may have managed her life up to this point, she has always loved the boy and always wanted to be a part of his life. It is probably better that she wasn't, but I don't begrudge her chance to meet him now, and just hope they are able to work out some kind of an arrangement that works for them both, and for the adoptive mother as well. As someone said upthread, adoptions can be messy. But then again, so can life in general for most people.

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EMTBGRL 2513 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-06, 07:57 PM (EST)
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151. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
>I agree with much of your
>post, but this line got
>me. Dustin owes Cassie
>his LIFE.

I also agree that Dustin owes Cassie nothing.

In order for this to be true, I used a meter stick of the reverse. The father. Does Dustin owe his father anything for being alive? Do we know how Cassie got pregnant? For argument's sake, What if Dustin came into being as a result of a date rape or a violent rape? or as a "trick?" (didn't Cassie admit to prostitution?) Sure, Dustin would not be alive without any one of those occurrences, but, does that mean that Dustin would "owe" the father anything, in the event any this was true? I would say "No." If that is true for the father, then, that is also true for Cassie. Would the posters here feel differently if this father (that I made up in this post) wanted to approach Dustin because he was "Sorry for his mistakes with Cassie, but, after all, he IS Dustin's father" ?? I believe we would be outraged at the selfishness of forcing THAT issue. Right? I feel the same way about Cassie. She made a choice to have Dustin. Sure. She made a choice to give Dustin up for adoption. There are consequences for decisions. The CHILD should not be the one to suffer the consequences of the discomfort someone feels about their prior decisions. I would feel a whole lot better if:
1) DUSTIN initiated contact.
2) I did not feel that Cassie is about Cassie.
3) Cassie showed more compassion about DUSTIN's feelings, and not hers.

I was almost moved by the stories told by the adoptees on this board. I was especially moved because of the attempt of the child to find the parent. I haven't heard many stories of how birth parents stalking their child turning out happy. I'm sure they are out there, and maybe I missed them--But, so far? The person I have compassion for is Dustin, and not Cassie.

I also agree that the adoptive mother doesn't deserve to be dragged through the mud by Cassie. Even if she's flawed, she's still Dustin's mother. Dustin won't want Cassie to bash her. (Especially not the first time they ever meet!)


Yes, Cassie chose to carry Dustin to term and birth him, but Dustin does not OWE her for this decision. He didn't help her make it, and was not part of this decision.

Do we know anything about the father

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Zephyr 48 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-06, 08:14 PM (EST)
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134. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
The
>way Cassie handles herself and
>her life, IMO, is veeerrrrryyy
>childish ... extremely immature.
>She handles herself as if
>she were actually closer to
>a toddler in age.
>If you knew nothing about
>her actual age, never actually
>saw her, and didn't know
>she was an adult of
>any age, the language she
>uses, her demeanor, her reactions,
>her emotions, even the sound
>of her voice, and most
>of the things she does
>could easily be mistaken for
>a very young child.
>Even her body movements, gestures,
>etc. are much like a
>child. I don't know
>if she has always been
>that way, if the drugs
>& alcohol stunted her ability
>to mature, or if it
>has just worked to continue
>playing the part of the
>child as her way of
>getting people to do things
>for her, or some other
>reason. I even see
>Rhonda talk to her and
>work with her as if
>she were either a child
>or had a mental disability.


Just wanted to say, excellent characterization. I refered to her the other day as "borderline Downs Syndrome".

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Cinnamongirl30 75 desperate attention whore postings
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04-29-06, 10:31 PM (EST)
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136. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Cassie IMO is completely harmless and I think that her intentions are clear and honest regarding any expectations she has about her son. She is one of those people who are almost annoyingly bubbly . I think that it is killing her inside with guilt over mistakes of the past and how her life could have been different if she had made better choices. I also firmly believe that the adoptive mother is sick in the head to lie to Dustin about his birth mothers death. That is not a little white lie. That could have caused him some severe grief over dealing with those thoughts. Anyway, people do and can change. I know that first hand. I don't know why I like Cassie, but I do. I feel very sad for her at times and would rather be around her anyday over Jodie, Sommer, Christie and especially Antonia. She is trying hard to do the right thing at this point in her life and sometimes that's all that matters. I don't see her as fake at all. I hope all goes well with the reunion and if they don't maintain a relationship, at least Dustin can put some issues to rest and know who gave him a chance at life.
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Shazbot 226 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-06, 01:57 AM (EST)
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137. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
LAST EDITED ON 04-30-06 AT 02:01 AM (EST)

It's like someone should say when you give a child up for adoption... you give them up FOREVER! This reneging crap is just so damn confusing for everyone involved.

I do think it's wrong that the adoptive mother lied about Cassie's existence... the adoptive mother has caused the situation to be forced on her son. It's unfortunate that the son wasn't allowed to figure out for himself whether he wanted to contact his birth mother or not, a conclusion he may have come to had he thought his birth mother was alive all along.

Cassie's reactions and expectations of this boy just freak me out! It truly is all about her. She's not quiet, and contemplative and ULTRA considerate of his feelings going into this like she should be. Where's your grace Cassie? If I were the son I'd want to run and hide.

Edited to add: And what needs of his are we talking about? He doesn't need her. He has a mother who was there for him and raised him. He's 19 years old, about to start his adult life and what the heck does he need this needy, looking for justification woman around him for? You don't make up time that's already gone by.

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kalalala 75 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-06, 11:08 AM (EST)
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139. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
>And what needs of his are we
>talking about? He doesn't need her. He has
>a mother who was there for him and raised him.
>He's 19 years old, about to start his adult
>life and what the heck does he need this needy,
>looking for justification woman around
>him for? You don't make up time that's already
>gone by.

First off, we don't know that his adoptive mother "was there for him and raised him". Yes, she raised him, but we have no idea how well. We do know that she was married four times so she could well be as needy and troubled as Cassie is, and that Dustin has had drug and alcohol problems so his life has been troubled as well. You're right that at 19, he doesn't need another mother to feed him and clothe him, but most adopted children who look for their birth parents are not looking for that. They are looking for that place that they came from, for where they got their looks from, for the explanation of why their birth parents didn't 'want' them, for the possibility that they may have brothers or sisters, for their medical history. They're looking for all sorts of things other than to make up for time already gone by. This is what Cassie can give him. I wish them both well, and hope that they can give each other some pieces to the puzzle that have been missing so far.

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allenjo 39 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-06, 11:24 AM (EST)
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140. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
The situation with the adoptive mom telling a lie to Dustin and Dustin just finding out his birth mom is alive and wanting to meet him might be too overwhelming and confusing for a young man. - What an emotional journey!

Cassie is too determined and pushing(?) to have a meeting with him. Look at her, she's all excited and uncontrollable even though she thinks she could be calm. I can see her loosing herself in front of Dustin, Rhonda, and Stan. (not a pretty sight). She acts like a girl who's immature, insecure and incapable as an adult who's living in a fantasy world IMHO. And all that bobbing head thing drives me nuts!

SO is controlling the situation - making Dustin fly out, arranging to meet them in a hotel room, Dr. Stan talking to him beforehand, etc. Cassie might screw up and I'm so nervous for her... I might watch the show on Monday because of that. I stopped watching the show after Kim's graduation and was reading stuff but I watched last Friday's episode. (Ah~~~~~) I hope this is the last time for Cassie to be in the SOH!!!

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-06, 01:26 PM (EST)
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141. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
It's funny how Cassie's version of the truth which has changed at least 4-5 times is accepted as truth, as is the step-Mom who cheated with the adoptive Mom's husband and we have never had any of what they've said verified. We don't really know what Dustin knows or doesn't know about Cassie. They've been conflicting stories about whether he knew about Cassie, Cassie says he thought she was dead but she also said she never saw him after the adoption and also said she saw him until he was three. What is the truth? Who know? This is SO and the truth may never be told to protect the SO "star" Cassie from being hurt. It's easy to bash the adoptive Mom because we've never met her or heard from her. However, if you look at the witnesses against her, they aren't a trustworthy lot, so I'm not sure their testimony would hold up in court.

People can judge the adoptive Mom in any way they choose but I have the ultimate respect for the fact she has chosen not to whore herself on TV to get attention. Dustin is now old enough to make his choice about what to do and after all the drama surrounding his manipulative father and step mother he may have a great deal of curiosity about Cassie. I'm sure some friends have filled him in on his step mother's stories about him and he may have decided to find out what this woman wants.

Personally I hope he has the courage to walk away from her because until he gets his own life together he can't carry Cassie too.

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jonimoni 136 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-06, 01:55 PM (EST)
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143. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
LAST EDITED ON 04-30-06 AT 01:56 PM (EST)

It is amazing how many times Cassie has revised her story, and how Rhonda has accepted each new version as if it were complete truth, athough different from the last story. No questions were asked about Cassie and her honesty, but the adoptive mom has had her life disected by strangers and has had NO imput what so ever. I honor her for not whoring out her story to the voyeristic public, yeah, that means us. St. Cassie has been allowed to promote her revisionist history, placing her in the best light possible and placing the woman she CHOSE to raise her birth child into scorn. If anyone on this show had a shread of sense they would be aware how children react when you slander their parents....this show has no dignity. I too hope Dustin asks Cassie some very pointed questions about how she CHOSE to present his mother to the country,without her permission. How she chose to return to drugs, alcohol and prostitution after his birth while blaming everyone else. I also hope he asks her what she expects their future to be together now that this meeting has taken place. She has NEVER shown one second of thankfulness to the a-mom, not one microsecond...she has only had distain and meanspirited gossip to offer her....Was she ever called on this scabby behavior? Nope, Rhonda is there with her cheerleader outfit on, screaming from the sidelines...disgusting. I wonder were Rhonda left her pom pons??? I know she has them somewhere!

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Shazbot 226 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-06, 01:41 PM (EST)
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142. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I realize that adopted children are looking for a context for themselves. In this case I would feel better about Cassie, somehow, if she'd been a 15-year-old mother who gave him up (and I know a 15-year-old mother of a friend who DIDN'T give up her child.)

But Cassie was a 20-something person who's son's 3-year-old life didn't register as being important enough for her to choose him instead of alcohol and drugs. There's something very wrong with Cassie's story... and I think it's evident in her quick-fix-it attitude about this whole situation. 'Oh, but I am the loving mother, and I've been done wrong' attitude... baloney.

A person that has been let go of like that, has learned how to rely on themselves. To now be expected to pretend that Cassie truly is a loving, supportive mother is for her son to ignore his strengths, and pretend he didn't go through what he went through... not going to happen. Now, in addition to not having her there in the first place, he's going to have to BE THERE FOR HER, to massage her fragile ego. Cassie's the one who needs to be thrown into counselling not to be let out for 20 years... and then maybe sit down with her son for one cup of tea, maybe when he is 40.

Everybody has some problem in their life that is tripping them up. Not being around a biological parent that turned away from you is not the worst thing to happen in life.

It also strikes me that Oprah is on record as saying that she stopped doing reunion shows between parents and children because the relationships ultimately didn't work out.

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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-06, 02:38 PM (EST)
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144. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
There are so many excellent viewpoints here...and so much wisdom! I was especially touched by the posts that offered personal experience as illustrations (nevertolate and Twinkles come to mind). Thank you ladies for sharing memories that may be painful for you.

All of this would be so much easier to sort out if we actually knew Cassie, the adoptive mother, and Dustin. If there is any fear being expressed here, it seems to be based in the belief that Cassie is incompetent, and she really wouldn't have much to offer Justin in the long run.

I think Cassie's heart has had a hole in it for years. Her alcoholism, while not caused by her pregnancy, must have been exacerbated by the absence of her son. In giving him up, she did the best thing for him, but it isn't as though she didn't pay a high emotional cost for that decision. I think Cassie's obssessive desire to reconnect with Dustin is based in her belief that in doing so she will finally be able to put that missing puzzle piece back in her heart. To some degree, it may make her feel whole.

Is that a right motive? I don't know. But even if it isn't, I don't really believe it will hurt Dustin. Cassie is going to have to tell him the truth about her meager existence - no job, no real home to speak of, etc. - and I don't think he will be expecting much from her when he puts two and two together.

But for Dustin, I think this will give him something he may need. If he didn't, he wouldn't be meeting with her.

As for the adoptive mother, she is a complete and total mystery. I can understand her feeling queasy about Starting Over mediating a reunion with Cassie. She has a history with Cassie that none of us know about.

I do know that anyone who has raised a son (or a daughter) has done a difficult and wonderful thing. Every holiday, birthday, graduation, illness...she was there. She took care of the tooth fairy, dental appointments, Halloween costumes, knees that were skinned, helped with homework, boy scouts, soccer games, driving permits, school projects, part-time jobs, college applications, etc. She is his mother. She always will be. Whatever she has said about Cassie probably has alot to do with her experience with Cassie. That doesn't make it right, it just makes it understandable.

There are too many missing pieces to this story. Cassie is told by an attorney that the notarized letter is legit (in her opinion). Now, we hear that Dustin thought she was dead, so what was the point of the letter? SO was willing to put Cassie on a state list that would make her name available to Dustin if and when he wanted a reunion with her. She filled out those papers. Now, did Dustin contact her on the phone through that list, or did Cassie get his phone number and call him?

Whatever happened, I am sympathetic to both women. Of course Cassie wants to meet this young man. But on the other hand, his mother should not be afraid that every mistake she has ever made will be discussed with Cassie. She is owed more than that.


*******************************************

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Zoey 326 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-06, 02:42 PM (EST)
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145. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
LAST EDITED ON 04-30-06 AT 02:45 PM (EST)

Lab,

Reading your last post, I agree with the last paragraph completely.

Even though we may disagreee on the rest, I just don't see where her financial situation, living arrangments or job choices apply.

Apparently, he wants to meet his biological mother. I believe he is old enough for those particular things NOT to apply to him. As far as being a good example, I think we have to look deeper. She did become sober, which is not easy. From what I remember, her bio-son also had a problem with either drugs and/or alcohol. So maybe, just maybe, she could be there for him where he needs it.

I am not discounting your observations, just offering alternatives to the way he might percieve her.

To me though, the most important thing is not to offer excuses as to why she isn't a fit mother (then or now) but to offer that he was loved by her but better suited to a family that could provide better for him. (Emotionally, finacially...whatever)

I may have stated before, I have no great repect for Cassie and I think she's been pushy at times where she should have just let things be. However, she and the adoptive mother (who also seems to have issues, if we're hearing the story right) really don't matter right now.

It's all about Dustin (imo) and BOTH Cassie and the adoptive mother seem to owe him what he wants, by my perception anyway.

SnowFlake2,

Your post said a lot of what I wanted to say (if words came as easily to me ) And, Lab, I'm sure you did but I hope you read SF's post.

Thanks all, no offense intended.

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26mitogo 493 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-06, 03:32 PM (EST)
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146. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
It would be interesting to actually have the full story in this whole issue. All we know of Cassie's many years of drug, alcohol, and people abuse is that she had a horrible disease, couldn't help herself, so slept with many men for a place to sleep. Even at Cassie's "healed" best she was still searcing for other people's homes to live in, others to take care of her ... in exchange for running errands or doing cleaning, etc., instead of sex and cleaning. It's possible, from information given by someone who had been Cassie's friend, that they took Cassie in after her days on SO and that Cassie didn't keep up her share of the bargain ... didn't do much of anything but live in their house. This may very well be a pattern for her ... find a place to stay, and hang out. We do know Cassie moved in with the adoptive parents during her pregnancy. I honestly wouldn't be surprised to find out if she tried to stay with this family after the child was born and be the "nanny" ... help raise him so he will always know her ... in exchange for that coveted place to stay. Cassie has never been on her own. She has always searched for others who have found their way in life to take in this lonely, struggling, poor little girl just trying to make it in life .... for going on 30 years now! IF the birth mother did tell Dustin his birth mother was dead, that doesn't sit well. However, IF Cassie had been the stalking persistant person we have seen and continually hounded this family to take her in, they may have felt this would be the only way to make sure Dustin never brought what may have felt like a leach back into their lives. All we have heard from Cassie is how, poor thing, has been totally wronged by the entire world. I think this is part of her pathology. Look how difficult it has been for her to leave the SOH. If SO was to stay on the air for more seasons, I'd bet she'd be back each and every one.

Honestly, I don't feel Cassie is "harmless". I've known someone very much like her. The minute you showed kindness and compassion to this person she instantly became a permanent leach. In order to rid yourself of her you had to be cruel, angry, and demanding. There were many who, thinking they were being kind and helpful, took her in and spent their own hard earned money on her food, extra utilities, and many other items while they "helped" until she got her feet on the ground. She never did. She sadly claimed there were no available jobs, etc. Once the family realized they were just being used (often many months later) they had physically & emotionally been supporting another "child". Last I knew, she was still going from church congregation to church congregation playing on the goodness and kindness of members who thought they were helping a poor unfortunate sole who had been delt a bad hand in life. Cassie strikes me as very similar. She is still living in someone else's home. She says she is "renting" a room but if she isn't working, what is she using for "rent" $? Cassie's "I'm such an adorable little baby girl" routine may be endearing to some and appeal to good hearts of those who have a need to "mother" someone but I would rather see her learn to be an adult, live like an adult, and act like an adult. She could have a permanent place to live, not have to worry about who will support her next, and be a productive member of society. She'd be happier ... inner happiness, not outward giddieness. Then who knows, maybe the adoptive mother wouldn't be so afraid of letting Cassie back into their world.

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Zoey 326 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-06, 05:54 PM (EST)
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149. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I don't disagree with most of what you say. I do however, want to give Cassie the benefit of the doubt in that she's gotten herself sober. Sure, she has a ways to go but is it fair to expect her to be completely recovered? Take away her her drinking and there still may be some old habits that die hard.

I don't expect her or anyone like her to be fully recovered now, in 10 years from now or even on their death bed.

In my opinion, recovery is an ongoing process that never ends. No one told Dustin that he was going to meet the perfect person who should have been his mother all along. He's meeting his mother as she is, in an improved but not perfect state.

I don't think he's been disillusioned. I think at his age, his expectations should be reasonable. Remember, he's expecting to meet his biological mother - a person with faults who couldn't take care of him when it was most crutial to him. He's not expecting Mother Theresa.

I hope it goes well for Dustin. I am guessing he is confused. I'm not so worried about Cassie. I think this meeting is more important to Dustin than for Cassie. I think she's been a selfish, giddy, over-excited idiot to begin with. As much as I understand it was an open adoption, if her charachter was portrayed to the family like earlier posters stated, than I understand the adoptive mother's decisions.

At this point, Dustin is the only one I'm concered about. Both Cassie and the adopted mother seem to have acted shady at one time or another. If it was for the son's benefit, I might understand but it all seems to be selfish.

I just hope this has a happy ending.

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annie828 0 desperate attention whore postings
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04-30-06, 04:02 PM (EST)
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147. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
kalalala wrote:

You're right that at 19, he doesn't need another mother to
feed him and clothe him, but most adopted children who look
for their birth parents are not looking for that.

Cassies son did not go looking for his BIO Mom.....She went looking for him! Wrong of her to do that....that should be up to the son to decide.

He was probably sick and tired of being hunted down and stalked, that he finally agreed to come and meet this phsyco woman just to get her off his back.

From the previews it looks like it didn't go very well....serves her right....by now anyway, he has probably seen season 2 of SO and saw what a nut job she was, and by the way she still hunted him down...he was probably scared for his life.

He did it with SO help, so he could face her in a SAFE environment. I Don't blame him.

......RUN JUSTIN RUN, FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!

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kalalala 75 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

04-30-06, 04:47 PM (EST)
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148. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
>You're right that at 19, he
>doesn't need another mother to
>feed him and clothe him, but
>most adopted children who look
>for their birth parents are not
>looking for that.

>
>Cassies son did not go looking
>for his BIO Mom.....She went
>looking for him! Wrong
>of her to do that....that
>should be up to the son to decide.

Sorry, I respectfully disagree with you. It was not wrong of Cassie to go looking for her son. Are you a mother? Not very many women can give birth to a child and not care about that child for the rest of their life. Many many thousands of women are looking for their children as we speak. Are they all wrong? Or is it only Cassie that is wrong? And her son did decide whether to see her or not. After he talked to her on the phone, he did not have to agree to meet with her, but he did. I just hope this meeting goes well for both of them.

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

04-30-06, 07:08 PM (EST)
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150. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
There is searching and waiting as most people respectfully do to see if the other person is willing to participate in a reunion and there is going on National Television and exposing yourself and the other person to public humiliation. The first is an honorable approach the second is a reality whore, Cassie.

Cassie gets so much sympathy and the Adoptive mother so little compassion and I find it funny because in the real world we would all run to protect our own children if Cassie was coming into our lives after our own little ones. We would not want her camped out on our doorstep waiting to give words of wisdom our little ones and yet we can't understand why the adoptive mother is wary of a drug/acholic prostitute who wants into her son's life. Raise your hand if you want Cassie to live with you and be part of your child's life.

I do hope Dustin walks away from this with the knowledge his had a birth mother who sadly slept with so many men he can't identify his dad. I hope he is able to put to rest the stalking by said birth mother and move on with his life.

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kalalala 75 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

04-30-06, 08:37 PM (EST)
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152. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
>There is searching and waiting as
>most people respectfully do to
>see if the other person
>is willing to participate in
>a reunion and there is
>going on National Television and
>exposing yourself and the other
>person to public humiliation.
>The first is an honorable
>approach the second is a
>reality whore, Cassie.


For me, seeing the story on national television has not been in the least humiliating. To me it's been very touching and heart warming that a woman who has not had an easy life herself, did not have a warm family upbringing, was adopted herself, but has been given the opportunity of counselling and help in many areas. Whether Cassie is the brightest woman or not, she wasn't able to complete school for a number of reasons and didn't get a good start in adulthood, and made many mistakes along the way. Lord knows I've made my share of mistakes too. None have resulted in being in such sad shape as she was, but I've been fortunate in having help along the way. Maybe she hasn't. Maybe she has but didn't have the smarts to take advantage of help that was offered. Who really knows, since we get such an edited spliced version of her story. But to me, she seems sincere in trying to better herself now, and perhaps her troubles and persistemce in attempting to improve her situation can be of some help to Dustin. Perhaps having her weaknesses revealed on national tv will inspire some other woman, or an adopted child to search for their own biological parent and/or child and bring happiness to someone else. Many people are helped by seeing various problems aired and worked on. It wouldn't be the route I would choose, but I also don't think I can condemn someone else for choosing it.


>Cassie gets so much sympathy and
>the Adoptive mother so little compassion

I haven't felt the adoptive mother has been shown little compassion. Her decision to tell Dustin that his mother died, if in fact that is what she did, has been roundly criticized, but in my opinion, that's a fair criticism. I think she has been given credit, and deserves it, for raising the child and all the work that is involved with doing that.

>We would not want her camped out
>on our doorstep waiting to give words of wisdom our
>little ones and yet we can't understand why the adoptive
>mother is wary of a drug/acholic prostitute who wants into
>her son's life. Raise your hand if you want
>Cassie to live with you and be part of your
>child's life.


Cassie is not now a drug/alcoholic prostitute, and I personally am glad that mistakes I made in my somewhat wanton youth can be forgiven and moved on from. And there's been no mention, that I've heard anyway, that Cassie wants to move in with Dustin or his adoptive mother.

>I do hope Dustin walks away from this with the knowledge
>his had a birth mother who sadly slept with so
>many men he can't identify his dad. I hope
>he is able to put to rest the stalking by
>said birth mother and move on with his life.

Has she said that on the show, that she can't identify his dad? I don't recall there being any discussion of the birth father. I hope Dustin is able to get something positive out of having the opportunity to meet his birth mother and move on with his life too, and I hope Cassie will be able to handle the situation well and move on with her life also, whether or not that includes a relationship with the son she has wanted to find for so long.

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Cinnamongirl30 75 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

04-30-06, 10:11 PM (EST)
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153. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I think that if Cassie had have broken any laws or "stalked" Dustin the loon of an adoptive mother would have called the police and had her arrested. For sure!! He wants to meet her and it was up to him. If Cassie can't handle it after the reunion and wants more from him then there will be a problem. We'll probably never know because bringing her back yet again and following this is not in So's best interest. Get it over and done with. He's 19 an adult and it's perfectly normal for him to want to see where he came from. At his age there's nothing the adoptive mother can do about it but let him see for himself and come to his own conclusions about how good or bad she really is.I know a lot of worse people that are raising little kids and shouldn't be. There isn't any need for concern about her being around him at his age. Give me a break.
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DeltaDarkStar 15 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Got Milk? Spokesperson"

05-01-06, 00:04 AM (EST)
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154. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
I am the adoptive mother of a beautiful, happy, healthy, brilliant 10-year-old son who has been the joy of my and my husband's life since before he was born. His birthmother chose us from a list of profiles with an adoption agency. She was in her late twenties, and in our opinion, very responsible. She was in the midst of divorcing our son's birth father, raising two other children, and getting no financial support from her children's fathers. So rather than ending up a homeless statistic with three children, she made a very difficult, heart-wrenching decision. She made the decision that was best for all of her children (my son included). There was never any doubt that she loved him. My concern is not with Cassie and her reasons for seeking the son she gave birth to, it's only natural that she'd want him to know that she exists. My concern is with his adoptive mother. There is absolutely no valid reason under the sun to lie to your son about his birth mother being dead. If you were trying to protect him from some potential danger, I can understand that, but lying about Cassie being dead is wrong, wrong, wrong! Without Cassie, you would not have your son. You are his mother in the truest sense. She cannot suddenly come and take him away from you. She does not have history with him, you do. You are the one who has raised him, loved, him, comforted him, disciplined him, you are his mother, and nothing can change that. However, the reality is that he has a birthmother, that fact can never be dismissed. I cannot imagine lying to my son about the reality of his adoption. Without his birth parents, we would not have the most joyful blessing of parenting our precious son. We are raising our son to appreciate the decision that his birthmother made. We do not want him to think of her as some heartless person who simply abandoned him. That couldn't be further from the truth. He understands that his birth parents were the vessels by which God chose to make us a family. As painful as my own infertility was to me, I am so thankful that God made a way for me to become a mommy (something I've desired all my life). I don't believe that Dustin's mom is evil, but I do believe that she allowed fear to drive her decisions. Lots of prayer, and counseling helped my husband and I to deal with some of our initial fears, and to come to understand the birthmother's perspective. One day my son might want to meet his birth mother and father, and I want him to be able to do so with an understanding that he was given up with love, not in abandonment. I am not quite certain that now is the best time in Dustin's life for Cassie to be seeking him out. Nineteen is not usually the most mature point in a young man's life. In the state where we live, birth parents cannot legally seek out their birth child before that child reaches age 23. The purpose is to allow the child to hopefully reach a point of emotional maturity and readiness. The birth child, on the other hand, can seek out his birth parents when he turns 18, if he desires. I don't know at what point my son might be ready to take that step, but we will support him when he does. In fact, I have a huge hug waiting for the woman who was brave enough to allow us to parent the child she gave birth to. We know that even then, we will still be mom and dad. To Dustin's mom: Please get and read the book, "Dear Birthmother," it is a poignant book about the tremendous love that most birthmothers (and birthfathers) feel for the children they give up. It is also about the thankfulness that most adopted children feel for having been given up for adoption. For the most part, birth parents simply want the best life possible for their children. They are not lurking around the corner waiting to stake caim of the child someone else has raised, they just want the child to know they exist. And they do exist, like it or not, they do exist. I am my son's mom, and his meeting his birthmother one day will not change that fact. Nor will my being his mom change the fact that someone else gave birth to him. As adoptive parents, we have to avoid thinking of birth parents as some nameless, faceless phantom, waiting in the shadows to steal our children, but rather, recogize that they represent the way in which God chose to bless us and make us parents. I truly hope that Dustin's mom's lies do not have an irrepairable impact on their relationship. I truly hope that they will be o.k. Much love - DeltaDarkStar
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kalalala 75 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

05-01-06, 03:45 AM (EST)
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155. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
DeltaDarkStar, your name should be DeltaBrightStar! What a beautiful post. Your son is lucky to have you for his mother. Hopefully those people who think Cassie is being evil for trying to meet her son will read your post with an open mind and try to understand the complicated emotions involved. You've expressed them wonderfully.
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Mrs B 27 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"

05-01-06, 08:16 AM (EST)
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156. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
>DeltaDarkStar, your name should be DeltaBrightStar!
> What a beautiful post. Your son is lucky to have you for his
>mother. Hopefully those people who think Cassie is being
>evil for trying to meet her son will read your post with an open >mind and try to understand the complicated emotions involved. >You've expressed them wonderfully.

The issue is with Cassie and is not WHAT she is doing but HOW and more importantly WHY she is looking to meet her bio kid. Was she drunk or high when visiting the child? She did call the parents in an impaired state a while back also. That would be enough grounds to cut all contact off with her. She villified his mom (with the help of his dad's ex-wife/mistress) and stalked the boy despite being told how to make sure the boy had a point of contact. She then went on national TV with a story that varied over time and comes across once again as a toxically needy person. Not impressive.

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Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

05-01-06, 08:30 AM (EST)
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157. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
We know the story Cassie has told us and that of the vindictive mistress/step/Mom and it seems to be accepted as truth about the adoptive Mother. SO likes a controversy and has been known to hide the less likeable characteristics about a house guest to garner sympathy from the audience, see Allison, and I think Cassie has benefitied from SO's willingess to ignore some of her less honest stories about her interactions with the adoptive Mom.

How do we know the adoptive mother told Dustin Cassie was dead, Cassie told us. Well we all know Cassie to be so honest and truthful I mean her story has only changed what 4-5 times about her lenghth of sobriety, her contact with Dustin, etc. I mean she is just a woman of honor when it comes to telling the truth. The only excuse I can come up with for Cassie is that the drugs and achol have so badly effected her brain that she may honestly not know what the truth is anymore and her fantasies may be more real to her than reality. She may be mentally ill as a result of the damage she did when she was abusing achol and drugs and maybe she doesn't know the truth any longer.

I'm not sure what the truth is but I suspect it doesn't as IV puts it stand in the truth of what we've heard so far.

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annie828 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"

05-01-06, 09:48 AM (EST)
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158. "RE: Cassie and preparation for her reunion with son"
Has she said that on the show, that she can't identify
his dad? I don't recall there being any discussion of
the birth father

Cassie did say she didn't know who the father was....she was drinking and doing drugs and slept with lotso men..whore...

Hopefully those people who think Cassie is being evil
for trying to meet her son will read your post with
an open mind and try

I think having respect for each others "opinions" is having an open mind.

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

05-01-06, 04:59 PM (EST)
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159. "WARNING - annie828"
Next time, if you think a post violates our guidelines, alert us mods by pressing the link at the lower left of the post.

You're not a mod, so please do not act like one.

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

05-01-06, 05:00 PM (EST)
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160. "Locking"
Now that Cassie has met her son, at last, there's no need to talk about the preparations involved.
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