Last time on the Amazing Race, teams went from Croatia to Florence. Along the way, Nicque and Don got tattoos while Kynt had an all-out Mary-Adam-style fit on Vyxyn in the car on their way to being last to the mat. Fortunately for them, the goth gods were feeling a little extra dark and gloomy, for this was a non-elimination round, and they got to stay in the race. Because they are losers, they will have to do some extra loser stuff at some point in the next leg to make up for their loserness.
So, there are still five teams left.
10:12 pm Nicque and Don leave for Mumbai, India. Nicque DR’s that he’s feeling the pressure of looking out for his grampa. They call ahead and get the times from the airport and go back to bed.
11:55 pm Nate and Jennifer are embarrassed and disgusted at their past behaviour, and they promise to be even more despicable.
1:06 am Christina and Who’s Your Daddy embark. Daddy, hoping against hope, still wants to be a better dad and make his soon-to-be-estanged daughter proud.
2:11 am TK and Rachel vow to keep up their strategy of mellowishness.
3:23 am Kynt and Vyxyn, and we get served another steaming pile of Mary Adam because we haven't seen that enough times already.
So, everyone scrambles, trying to get the best flight when the counters open.
Nate/Jenn, Christina/Daddy, Nicque/Don get the first flight arriving in Mumbai at 10:30 pm.
Kynt and Vyxyn arrange a 10:50 pm arrival, while using “performance art” to look all sullen and worried. TK and Rachel panic and grab the 1:00 am arrival.
Doesn’t matter. We’re bunching.
They have to wait for the newspaper stand to open at 6:00 am. They sit near the carcass of a dog and wait. Even TK and Rachel make the bunchfest.
At 6:00, they start looking through the papers for their clue, which is in the form of an ad. Jennifer barks at Nate while a live dog humps Nate’s leg. Nate gets mad at Jennifer who is not enjoying her leg-humping. They bicker and fight over the papers, and Jennifer laments at being last while Nate whines “Stop it!”
Okay. If these two can b!tch and moan so much, so can I. I hate these fvcktards. I want to reach into the TV and hold them down for the dogs. I want to grab the newspapers, roll them up, and shove them down their throats. Oh! Wait! They’re going to start to behave! I forgot!
The ad tells them to go to a tailor who will give them their next clue. Nicque and Don get there first and get the clue for the Detour:
Paste em or Thread em. In Paste ‘em, they have to paste a Bollywood ad on the underpass. In Thread em, they have to thread 108 flowers into a wedding garland in the correct order and give them to the groom who will give them their next clue.
Don used to do billboards, so Nicque and Don go with Paste ‘em.
TK and Rachel are all mellow and into flowers and love and sh!t, so they Thread ‘em.
Kynt and Vix hit their speed bump, where they have to suffer through a yoga practice. WTF?
Nate and Jenn finally get a clue. They do flowers.
Ron and Christina do Paste 'em.
Rachel says the flowers are going to do five minutes. Christina is telling Ron to hang the poster left, right? No left. Right. Then she gives him a shaky box and says “stand on this” at which point he falls off and tells her she’s a fvcking loser, even though he’s the one that started the poster too high.
Suddenly, we get a shot of a guy riding a bike that turns a saw that he is using to sharpen something. This was probably the coolest thing I’ve seen yet this episode, with the exception of Jennifer's eyes when she snarled “I love you” to Nate.
Kynt and Vyxyn open their mouths and say aaahhhh and then get their clue. They like the coffin feeling of their cab. Goth reference? Or foreshadowing?
Nicque and Don get along just fine so they finish pasting. They get their next clue to go to Kabutar Khana. Danger: UTurn ahead.
Nate doesn’t understand how Jenn isn’t good at doing the flowers because she’s a sissy girl and Jenn can’t understand why he can’t row a boat since he’s a macho guy. Kynt and Vyxyn arrive at the flowers and are shocked to see that the Bickerson’s are still there.
Christina and Thank God He’s Not My Daddy are still yelling in the underpass. Poor Daddy says he feels demoralized after agreeing he was wrong all along. How does it feel, b!tch?
TK and Rachel are first at Kabutar Khana, where they are told to go to a gas depot. They do not Uturn anyone, and neither do Daddy or Christina after some discussion where Daddy was right.
Back at the flowers, an audience has gathered to watch the American couple bicker and snarl at each other among the flowers. Kynt and Vyxyn are still working on their garland, too.
At the gas depot, they get the Roadblock: they must deliver propane tanks and get the receipts off the door of the recipients.
Nicque, TK and Daddy are going to do the work while Don, Rachel and Christina veg. Rachel reminds TK that he’s young and strong, while Christina reminds Daddy that he’s old and decrepid.
Hate and Jenn finish their garland and don’t know what to do with it.
Step away from the summary, Frisky. Step.Away.From.The.Summary.
She tries to give it to the elephant, but he won’t take sh!t from these idiots.
Kynt and Vyxyn have finished and have gone from their coffin on wheels to a love shack on wheels, with mirrors in the ceiling of their cab.
Much propane is being delivered by the frontrunners, while Kynt/Vyxyn and Nate/Jenn cab their way to Kabutar Khana. The cab has Kynt/Vyxyn feeling frisky, so they decide to use the Uturn. They know for sure that Nate/Jenn are behind them, but don’t know how many others. (Um, can’t they tell by the number of clues left in the box?) Since they know that Nate and Jenn are right on their tail, they decide to Uturn Nicque and Don. Mmyeah. That makes sense.
Kynt/Vyxyn and Nate/Jenn go to the gas depot while TK/Rachel and Nicque/Don and Daddy/Christina finish their deliveries. They have to go to Bandra Fort, overlooking the Arabian Sea, which is the pitstop for this insufferably long leg of the race.
TK and Rachel are team number one. They win a five night trip for two in St. Martin. TK says winning a mill would be friggin awesome, man!
Jenn and Kynt are doing the roadblock. They have each enlisted the help of locals, and Nicque and Don arrive at the mat.
Kynt and Jenn fight over the elevator. One lady reminds Jenn about the receipts (shouldn’t have done that). Daddy and Christina arrive at the pitstop. Jenn finishes and they run off to the pitstop. Kynt gets back but doesn’t have the receipts so he has to go back from whence he came. Better hurry up, Kynt! Your face is melting!
More misdirection: Jenn and Nate panicking while trying to find the pitstop, but really this is normal behaviour for them and they aren’t in any danger at all.
Kynt and Vyxyn finally get into their cab and Kynt tells the driver to hurry, there isn’t a second to spare, because his face is melting and he doesn’t think he’s going to make it.
Jenn can guarantee to Nate that they are last, but sadly she’s wrong again. They come in fourth.
Kynt and Vyxyn arrive at the mat to the sad piano music. Phil gives them the award for the most fashionable team on the race. They walk away into the sunset and melt into the Arabian Sea.
Next time: Don is tired and Nick picks up the load and everyone wants to know the whereabouts of TK and Rachel.
Perpetual *headbutt* compliments of Rolly.