As always we begin with pictures of all the racers from the season. It’s been so long since I’ve seen some of these people I don’t even recognize them.
Then the recap.
I like my summaries short and succinct (Etymology: Middle English, from Latin succinctus having one's clothes gathered up by a belt, tightly wrapped, concise, from sub- + cinctus, past participle of cingere to gird -- more at CINCTURE). I love my past participles.
All teams are to fly to Quarazazate, Morocco where they will drive 4 miles and find the “Antiquetris Du Sud”. There they will choose one of 4 good luck charms. One of these charms will bring good fortune at the next pit stop. At the Antique Shop they will receive their next clue!
ROAD BLOCK: The teams are to drive 6 miles to Atlas Studios, through a rural dessert town, famous for studio back lot movies including Cleopatra and Gladiator. There they will get their next clue. Caution – YIELD ahead.
**Side Note** Atlas Studios is another bunch point (opens at 8:00 a.m.) and any teams who have raced their heart out to this point will be disappointed. A foot race ensues.
YIELD: Someone is yielded
CLUE: One racer from each team gets the thrill and chills of being a gladiator (I don’t write this stuff people) and will join professionals on a high-speed race around the stadium. During this hair-raising ride the racer must pull down 2 colored flags matching the clue on their horse. One they have both flags the “charioteer” will have them their next clue.
CLUE: Drive 22 miles to Idelssan and locate Café Pergola. There you will receive your next clue.
CLUE: DETOUR: THROW IT or GRIND IT!
In “Throw it” teams must travel 4 miles to a local pottery shop and make two pots. Once the local artisan approves the pots they will be handed their next clue.
In “Grind It” teams must travel 4 miles to the North Africa Horse and Olive Farm. One there they must grind 77lbs of olives and fill pressing sleeves. The Olive Miller will hand them their next clue
CAUTION: There are only 3 stations at each detour on a first come first served basis.
CLUE: Teams must now travel toward Marrakech where a marked boulder signals a turn into the desert and leads them to a Berber Camp, a traditional nomadic camp, where one team MAY.BE.ELIMINATED!
That’s it kids – that’s what we watch weekly! And this is my summary!!
Some side notes on the teams and their comments listed in order based on arrival at the pit stop (Patriot War Museum in Kiev, Ukraine).
I. Tyler and James (the cutie boys with a past addiction) I want to see a picture of these two on their first day in rehab – for comparison reasons. I hope their dangling participles survived their days in the gutter.
A. Arrived at 7:33 pm, leave at 7:33 a.m.
B. They want the final 3 to be minus the “beauties”.
C. Arrive 2nd at airport – damn the “Blondes”
D. Can’t get tickets until the “Blondes” help them – Bwahahahaha.
E. Plane ride to Paris with “Bamas” and “SDC”(Sick, dysfunctional couple) – feel “Blondes” have too much power over them
F. Followed the powerful “Blondes” to antique shop and desert them when a crowd of men surround the blondes’ car and they comment “they are about to mob them” (see II).
G. Arrived 3rd at antique shop
H. Arrived 3rd at Atlas Studio – although it hardly mattered
I. Won the foot race and arrived 1st at Yield – didn’t yield “SDC”, the “Blondes”, or “Bama”
J. Decided to do “Throw It” but after talking to the blondes changed to “Grind It”
K. Arrive 1st at “Grind It”
L. Arrive 1st at Pit Stop and start running then realize they left the good luck charm in their car. They run back to get the charm, passing the “Bamas”, get back to the car and still beat the “Bamas” to the pit stop! They are #1 and have the “lucky” charm and get a Spring Trio 700 with one year of service!
II Dustin and Kandice (the “Beauty Queens” or “Blondes”) they are impressive even without their makeup
A. Arrived at 7:41 p.m., leave at 7:41 a.m.
B. One of them wrote a paper on Morocco. The million dollars isn’t driving them. It’s the spirit of competition and the need for 1st.
C. After conferring with someone at the airport they book a connection that I’ve forgotten but it includes an extremely tight connection in ? (maybe Milan)
D. They don’t make the connection as they were to check in 50 minutes before and it’s now 45 minutes and are denied boarding.
E. Upon arrival they are first to their car (how do they always do that?) and ask a local if they can follow him. They realize that T&J are following them.
F. The local can’t find the place and stops to ask other locals who decide to ambush the car. This looked like it wasn’t going to end well especially since T&J and “SDC” decide to dessert them and let them fend for themselves (now I thought that was wrong). I guess the camera crew calmed the crowd. And T&J did wish them luck.
G. Arrive last at antique mall. They wonder aloud “How did the sistah’s find it?”
H. Arrive at Atlas Studios last but are saved by a bunch point.
I. Yield “Bamas” at the Yield and exclaim “They are going to hate us, but that isn’t anything new!” “If we don’t we won’t be playing the best game!”
J. Over-shot the location of the Olive Farm and after getting directions they turn back. Ironically they picked this Detour because they knew where it was!
K. Arrive last at Detour and although they yielded the “Bamas” they have to wait!
L. Realize they are last and we hear: “Whatever happens I love you” and “We did awesome. I fell numb and don’t even feel like crying”.
M. After a poignant pause they are told this is a non-elimination round!!!!
III. Rob & Kimberly – “SDC” who I fear, if they marry, will kill each other within 6 months
A. Arrive at 8:19 p.m., depart at 8:19 a.m.
B. Racing has helped Rob grow and realize that he needs to calm down and Kimberly thinks (!) he realizes that he can’t control everything and freak out. ******PREVIEW OF NEXT WEEK SHOWS MS. CALM FREAKING OUT!*****
C. Arrive at airport 3rd
D. Book their flight and with T&J prepare a “joke” for the blondes about their fights – the joke fails to get laughter.
E. Along with T&J dissert the “Blondes” when a mob approaches.
F. Arrive 1st at Antique Mall. Rob uses his deductive abilities and states that the “Blondes” have already been there. (It was “Bama”)
G. Arrive 2nd at the Yield and don’t yield the “Blondes” or “Bama”
H. Rob is the gladiator because Kimberly is petrified of horses.
I. Work with the blondes to find the Detour but make sure we know that “the beauty queens can’t be trusted but we use them from time to time”
J. Have car trouble AGAIN and the edit shows that Rob has learned to calm himself somewhat.
K. With the help of T&J they arrive 3rd at Grind It
L. On the way to the Pit Stop comment “The Blondes better hope it is a non-elimination round”
M. Car trouble will elude them on the way to the Pit Stop but after some nasty “love talk” between the two they arrive 3rd
IV. Lynn and Karlyn (The “Bamas” and self-named Roaches) – these two are delusional and nasty also
A. Arrive last at 9:08 p.m. and leave last at 9:08 a.m. with no money
B. Wonder aloud “What language is spoken in Morocco”
C. State the obvious that they are the last of the 6-pack alliance but make the distinction that they started without the alliance and just acquired them (as if we haven’t wondered what insanity was the Chos’ and Dave & Mary)
D. They are READY for it.
E. Have some difficulty with reservations and have a 3 hour layover in Paris and instead of going outside and seeing the Eiffel Tower they buy a map (wait a minute – they aren’t supposed to have any money) and study their destination.
F. Despite the 3-hour layover are on the final flight with the other 3 teams.
G. Make good time due to their map reading skills and find the antique shop 1st.
H. Drive away from the antique shop quickly so not to guide any of the others to the location
I. Spew any number of insults at the “Blondes” and almost pee their pants in anticipation of yielding them.
J. Arrive 1st at Atlas Studios just to find their lead ruined by a bunch point.
K. Because of their inability to outrun the other 3 teams arrive last at the Yield and are Yielded by the “Blondes”
L. Forgetting their intention to yield the “Blondes”, begin spewing about how wrong it was for the “Blondes” to yield them. THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES ALLOWED TO YIELD ANYONE!
M. Karlyn gives the “Blondes” the finger as they finish the chariot task. Lynn tells Karlyn not to do that, “It’s ugly”
DISCLAIMER HERE: Any vile thoughts I have for this team are only toward Karlyn and any wording toward both is to be only construed to mean Karlyn.
N. State that a higher power is keeping them in the race.
O. Arrive 2nd at the Pit Stop. Lynn states that “Karma is a #####”
DISCLAIMER HERE: fugetabouit it *looks up at DISCLAIMER*
THAT’S ALL FOLKS!