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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 09-30-10, 03:59 PM (EST) "Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode 4 - "That's Against the Rules!"" ----------------------------------------------------------- Blog Entry, 7/15/2009 Authored by: Rex Majors, stillaliveandkicking ----------------------------------------------------------- These are the difficulties of going on ten dates in ten nights - sooner or later, someone's just going to snap. Funny. I always thought it would be me. I just got back from the worst date I've ever been on - and that counts Sunday night's forced date with Juanita. I realize there's a bigger age difference between myself and Jeanette, the redheaded single mom who was my companion on Saturday - for that matter, there was a similar age difference between me and Carrie. The difference between age 25, which is how old I was when I met Carrie for the first time, and 18, which is how old Madison is now, is an eternity, however. I should have known this would end badly when I first met her - about 45 minutes after the agreed-upon time. She ordered the hostess to seat us - sure, it was a Tuesday, but the place was busy. And since she was late, they didn't honor our reservations, and we were told we would have to wait another 10-15 minutes. Fine; I don't care. I'd rather sit and talk for a few minutes anyway before we have to bury our noses in a menu. As I try to tell her this - I'm pretty sure she either didn't hear me or ignored me when I asked her to sit down and talk - she starts yelling at the hostess. Ever name in the book, I heard out of her young mouth, even the suggestion that the hostess - who had a prominently-displayed crucifix around her neck - walks Hollywood Boulevard in revealing clothing, if you know what I mean. She's far from calm, either - if anyone has a recording device, this one's going on YouTube - oh wait, this is going on CBS.com anyway. She's shouting incoherently at this point; I can't understand a word she's saying. I hear about four obscenities in the average sentence - scary that those are the only words I can understand - and at this point, I'm pretending I don't know her. So is the guy hired to film us - basically, he's just there because CBS is paying him. After a couple of minutes of this meltdown, right after the point she makes a death threat toward the hostess, I figure it's time for me to intervene. A sharp "Madison!" doesn't get her attention - don't know her middle name, so that's out - so I start apologizing to the hostess while the possibly insane woman continues to berate her and refuse to let other customers up to be seated. I try once more to get her attention, but it's futile - two big guys just showed up, and one's the manager. Needless to say, she's being asked to leave, and she's refusing. He asks her again - she won't go. Her response, I think, was, "I have a right to be here, bitch! Now seat me and my date or I'll sue you!" At this point, the same thing's happening to her that would happen to this potential frivolous suit - and she's out the door in about a minute or so. The crazy date's gone, but the mouth goes on until I finally interject, "This date's over, and you're cut!" Cue Rex walking back to his car - and at this point, I think it hit her that she's just made a terrible mistake. I watched the subsequent scene back, and I think she said, and let me get this right: "Please, please, let's go in there and have dinner. I didn't mean anything." Pause. "Well, I didn't say anything bad to you; I don't know why you're cutting the date short." Really. OK. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Please give me another chance." My response? Getting in my car without a word and driving off. I think she flipped me off as I drove away. I ran through a drive-thru on the way home, and I turned on the Live Feeds. Ahh. Seven down, two to go, and Ingrid tomorrow. Please make her sane. ----------------------------------------------------------- Living Room, Day 10 ----------------------------------------------------------- "So unless they come out with some new mystery power," opines Ben to his alliance-mates, with the exception of Jamal, "it's either John or Marcus. Can we decide who goes?" "You've got to be kidding," snaps back Giovanna, her ears still somewhat ringing from John's outbursts. "You're really considering keeping that asshole around?" "Yeah," he shoots back, "if it weakens their alliance. Think about this - if we send John home, there are only twelve in the next Head of Household competition, since Cinnamon can't compete. We have the same chance as they do - five on five, with Harvey and Juanita competing for themselves." Harvey and Juanita's non-aligned status is obvious to everyone; in fact, had Cinnamon won the veto, she would have considered putting up Juanita in John's place. "But if Marcus goes..." "Like he's ever going to win anything. He's a wimp." She peeks around the room - no, he's not coming in - and continues. "Unless the challenge involves safety tips or 'How much stuff can we disinfect?' he doesn't have a chance. He's like a caricature or something." "I know," he states back. "But this is Big Brother. Maybe they'll have a disinfecting challenge. I've seen sillier challenges here. I'd rather have someone who won't try to win than someone who might win a challenge that's up his alley." "Voting Marcus might be dangerous. I won't do it." Assuming the God Squad votes John, and Harvey and Juanita vote John, that's seven votes for John. "Look," chimes in Cinnamon, "I know you don't like John. Frankly, I don't like John. But he's harmless. Getting Marcus out shows the God Squad that we're in this for blood. It keeps them back on their toes, and it improves our chances. I think we have a better shot with them than we do of trying to expand our alliance with the two stragglers." Well, keeping John would make it three stragglers. "I said I won't do it." Giovanna standing her ground. "I want him gone. I don't care about Marcus. He can't hurt us. John's a loose cannon, and if we vote him out, we might be able to sustain a little bit of peace in the house before the God Squad comes after us." "We have an opportunity here," snaps back Cinnamon, who is hampered by the lack of a vote. "We can strike first. Ben's right. It gives us a better shot in the next round. I'd rather go into the next Head of Household with one more person playing. It improves our chances. Besides, these things are total random chance anyway. It's even hard to try to lose, like we know John would." "Could you imagine John as Head of Household?" Valerie's first words in a while. "It's you and Cinnamon going up in that case." "OK, OK," relents Giovanna. "I'll think about it. But we need another vote, or I'm out." "I know where we can get one," confirms Ben, confidently. "Since Jamal's outside, I can safely say Taylor and I have gotten pretty close." "I was wondering what you were doing with her up in Cinnamon's room the other night." The words from Cameron's mouth have more than a hint of judgment. "Jamal won't be happy about this; I guarantee it." "What is he, the president of Taylor?" barks Ben. "He can't tell her what to do. Not after he cheated on her. And if I were you, Cameron, I'd stay away from him." "I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation--" "There is," snaps Ben. "He cheated. He had relations with another woman while he was dating Taylor. What else could there be to explain?" "You don't know him like I do." Cameron's words sound like the cry of a woman seeing an abusive or angry man. "Maybe try talking to him instead of sleeping with his ex." "Whatever." The dismissal obvious on Ben's words. "I know friends don't sleep with their friends' exes. Jamal and I are not friends. We never were. We probably never will be. Leave me alone, and if you want to hang all over Jamal, go ruin your life. I don't care." Cameron gets up and walks away at this point - clearly this is not the time to ask for her vote against Marcus. ----------------------------------------------------------- Blue Room, Night 10 ----------------------------------------------------------- "Now, was that good for you, baby?" The words off Taylor's lips are unusually soothing, given her audience, a man she's usually firm and controlling with. The look on her companion's face seems to combine relaxation with annoyance, wondering just how he got himself into this mess again. Without a word, Jamal turns away from Taylor and grabs his clothes, which are in a bundle on the floor - just his underwear and a pair of basketball shorts at this point - and walks out. "What the hell, Jamal?" as Taylor hastily gets dressed before anyone else knows what she's up to. "I thought we could talk." Jamal and Taylor have had only a handful of conversations at this point, most of which involve Taylor making outrageous demands to Jamal. Well, he did give into one of her demands - even Cameron, the most sympathetic person to Jamal, is convinced he cheated on her. By the time Taylor's dressed, Ben walks in, smiling - not having a clue what Taylor just did. His words to her might make her sweat: "We need to talk." "OK," she smiles, no point in letting him know he doesn't have a prayer of bedding her within the next 20 minutes. "Are you dead-set on voting John?" he asks. "Well, Marcus is in my alliance, so I don't think I would vote him out." Taylor watches the wheels turn in Ben's head. "The hell with him," he shoots back. "Don't even bother with those jerks. Do you really want to spend the whole time in prayer services? Listening to Elizabeth condemn everything about you? Vote with us, and we'll get them all out, and then you, me, and Cinnamon will run the house." "I don't know if I trust Cinnamon," shoots back Taylor. "Let's ditch her at final four and take Edward along." "Let's solve that when we get that far, OK?" asks Ben, trying to secure her vote. "Let's just get Marcus out now, and then Jason next week." "I'll consider it," she replies. "Is your alliance going for it? Including Jamal?" "Cameron's working on him, but the rest of us are in. Giovanna's reluctant, but I think we're getting her on board." Time to think up a lie quick. "We have six so far. I want to make sure you're on board so we can get Jason out next." "OK," she shoots back, licking her lips. "I think I can arrange that." Placing her hand on his chest and grabbing his shirt. "Now let's go, baby." ----------------------------------------------------------- Diary Room, Day 11 ----------------------------------------------------------- "I got the idea to strike at the God Squad first by getting rid of Marcus." This is far from Ben's first confessional, but this is right after he unveiled his first game move. "It's hard to put together, and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work, but I plan to put a boot on their throats. Make those guys squirm." "First Marcus, then Jason, then Elizabeth." No mention of Edward and Taylor. "Then probably Harvey and Juanita. By that point, I figure John either quits or joins up with us. After that, I'm in control." Right. And only five steps and a miracle to get there. Clearly he's new at this. "I figure we play the rest of our alliance against Edward and Taylor, and then I can practically sit around and be carried to the final two. Well, you know what I mean." "We have to keep winning, though. No more wasting the veto like this." Right. No more challenges aimed at cops. "My dealings with Taylor are...well, I'm just enjoying the ride." That part they can use on the air. "And the sex is great, not that I have any basis for comparison." That part they can't. "Again, if it works out, it works out, and hopefully I leave here with enough dough to move out and start a new life. It would be even better if it included her." "My mom's probably throwing a fit at home, seeing me with her." No one knows about his mother - the last person he wants to tell at this point is his potential new girlfriend. "I've only dated two different girls, and she made me break up with the first and tricked the other into breaking up with me. I am definitely enjoying getting to know her without my mother interfering." "I'm guessing I might have to cut Jamal's throat at some point." Not much emotion in that statement. "Not just over Taylor, but because he'll try it first. He has to find out sometime." And so does Ben. Leaving that bit of ignorance on the table, he leaves the Diary Room.   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode... Colonel Zoidberg 09-30-10 1  Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode... Colonel Zoidberg 09-30-10 2  Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode... Colonel Zoidberg 09-30-10 3  Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode... Colonel Zoidberg 09-30-10 4

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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 09-30-10, 04:01 PM (EST) 1. "Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode 4 - "That's Against the Rules!"" ----------------------------------------------------------- Dining Room, Day 11 ----------------------------------------------------------- John, making a rare appearance outside the confines of the sauna room, finishes up his bowl of slop - the only food he's allowed - and stares into a camera positioned to point at his face. Two other people stand in wonder at him as he simply looks up at the camera for a minute or two; Juanita, who bested him in the veto competition, and Elizabeth, the eternal voice of sanity in the house, stare in bewilderment. Elizabeth turns her head slightly while Juanita simply places her hand to obscure her chin slightly. "So," John asks of the camera, "any progress on giving me that veto that I earned but was stripped of me? Tell you what," he continues, "I'll accept that Harvey shot me and should be the rightful holder of the veto. He got me first. But the lady that won it, her shot didn't count. So give Harvey the veto. Then she's on the block, and she goes home. Deal?" At this point, Juanita is doubled over laughing, and Elizabeth has completed a face-palm gesture. "What the hell are you laughing at?" demands the stock trader, who has gone from silly to serious in the flip of a switch. "I'm serious! You should be going home! Not me!" Able to get in a word edgewise while Juanita catches her breath, Elizabeth attempts to reason with John. "What makes you think her shot didn't count? It looked pretty good to me!" "Because," he exasperates, "she shot it with her left hand! That's against the rules!" "I played in that competition too, you know," she retorts, "and there was no rule against shooting with your left hand." Change to a shout. "Hey, Valerie!" Calling for the competition's host. Pause about ten seconds for her to emerge. "Hey, you were the host of the veto competition." Yes, she was. By this time, Juanita's no longer laughing. "Was there a rule against shooting with your left hand?" "Yes!" John interrupts. "There was! Who would shoot that thing with your left hand? It makes the guns do weird things!" "Maybe for you, it does," interjects Juanita. "But it's natural for me, you big dummy. I'm left-handed. Need a demonstration?" "And by the way," confirms Valerie, "there's no rule against using your left hand. None. The hit counted. And I saw your feeble attempts at firing that thing. It didn't jam. You just didn't know how to shoot it." "Those things aren't built to be used with your left hand." John's protests beginning to fall on deaf ears as Elizabeth and Valerie walk away. "I mean it. Harvey won that veto, and I'm staying!" "I'm not even sure you would have the votes to stay if I were up there," she snipes back, laughing. "In fact, I could probably weasel my way into staying, knowing what an ass you're being. And by the way, since you didn't remember it the first time," she scolds, "my name is Juanita. Hopefully that sticks this time." Before he can get in another word, she follows Elizabeth and Valerie away from him, leaving him to clean up his slop bowl. Naturally, he tosses it in the sink, unwashed; used to eating on paper plates and take-out dishes, he hasn't washed a dish in over six years. No point in starting now, especially since Ben and Elizabeth seem to do the majority of the housework. ----------------------------------------------------------- Backyard, Day 11 ----------------------------------------------------------- "Do we have the votes?" asks a nervous Marcus, who feels as if he's making a deal with the devil by aligning with Jason. "Of course," he replies, putting out a cigarette. "I'm voting John, Elizabeth's voting John, and we have Edward and Taylor in our back pockets. I've talked to Harvey and Juanita, and they're on board. That's six." "I just see Edward over there talking to Taylor. It makes me nervous." And it should, at least in Marcus' world. "They shouldn't be talking like that. You know how those people can be." Cue a confused, potentially disgusted look from Jason - Marcus may have just crossed into "liability" territory. "Edward's a district attorney, you know. He can convince anyone of anything, and we don't know what he's up to." OK, well, Jason's in full agreement on that - except Jason's a telemarketer. He makes a living doing the same thing. "And Taylor...just look at the way she dresses. She's up to no good. Just like that stripper." "Well, Cinnamon's the one who put you up, but she said she wants John gone." Jason will soon learn that trying to ease Marcus' anxiety is a much more difficult task than it's worth. "That woman makes money convincing people to destroy their marriages." More judgment from Judge Marcus' lips. "There are so many snake oil salesmen in this house. I can't trust anybody. I'm scared putting my fate in the hands of a stripper, a crooked lawyer, a harlot, and a crooked cop." So far the only crime Harvey's committed against Marcus was trying to shake his hand, but in Marcus' eyes, only Elizabeth is worthy of his trust. Too bad she was such a wretch in her younger years - but even Marcus has done things he's not proud of. "Relax, man. I have this. Don't forget," as Jason adjusts his tie, "that they're dealing with a salesman, too. John's as good as gone." ------------------------------------------------------------ Pantry, Day 11 ------------------------------------------------------------ "I've figured out a way to keep you." Ben tries a previously dangerous strategy - trying to talk to John. "Are you in?" "Go away." Disinterest. Dismissal. "Cinnamon and I have been discussing--" "I said, go away." Didn't hear him the first time. "OK, fine. You want out? We'll get you out." Turning to walk away. "Do you want out?" "I've told you twice," seethes John. "Leave me alone." "Fine," as Ben heads for the door. "Now I'm definitely going to try to keep you. Enjoy another week here, jerk." No response from John. ----------------------------------------------------------- Diary Room, Day 11 ----------------------------------------------------------- "I'm playing around with Ben because I enjoy keeping my options open." Taylor's devil-grin is more apparent with each passing word. "He's a nice guy, but he's so naive, like he's never had a girlfriend before. I'm picturing a guy who plays video games all day and collects Star Wars figurines. He probably got laid off from his job at Circuit City and sits around in his underwear eating Hot Pockets and drinking Mountain Dew all day in front of the computer." "He has some potential, though." Pointing to herself, as if to show what Ben's been lucky enough to sleep with. "I'm guessing he had some bad luck, and he used to be pretty popular. I'll tell you, the more he rides that exercise bike and works out, the better he looks. I like a strong guy." "That's what I saw in Jamal. And it's what I still see in Jamal. Plus," and out come the devil horns again, "they're both totally naive. They don't have a clue I'm playing them both. My God, destroying men is fun." "It's the women I don't trust. I'm guessing it'll come down to me and Cinnamon at some point." And, of course, since Cinnamon's such a slave to her sex drive, Taylor wins. Right? ----------------------------------------------------------- Blog Entry, 7/16/2009 Authored by: Rex Majors, stillaliveandkicking ----------------------------------------------------------- So the last thing I really want to do on a Wednesday evening, especially since I've been on nine dates in nine days, is to go on one more, especially considering that two of the last three dates were painfully bad. But business is business, and go on a tenth date I shall - even after a long day of watching the Live Feeds and drinking diet soda. Hey, it makes me money. Thankfully, the favorite phrase of the houseguests at this point isn't "I'm so damn bored!" like in seasons past. And thankfully, my companion for the evening doesn't make me want to sit there and mutter, "Make it stop," over and over to myself while I sip three entire bottles of wine. Actually, most of the ladies I've entertained over the past week or so have been perfectly nice, but two bad dates in three nights is a bit much for anyone to handle. Frankly, two bad dates in three months is enough for me to swear off women temporarily. Tonight was the lovely Ingrid, the last of the ladies to meet me and, by far, the biggest surprise. She looked fantastic - a long, dark-blue dress, hair that looked like her best friend owned a salon, and a shimmering smile that almost blinded me - and she was nothing but sweet and friendly the whole evening. She wasn't shy about anything, either - about ordering the 18-ounce New York Strip and putting my 10-ounce steak to shame, or about devouring every bite, or about telling me she wants to go dancing the next time we see each other. Of course, I asked her what kind of moves she has - she's a plus-size woman who calls dancing a "hobby" - and as I recall, my first question to her about that was, "You do realize you're on a date with a total dweeb, right?" She laughed. Fortunately, with the exception of Sundays, which are nights to torture me, and Thursdays, which are live shows, I can schedule dates - or not schedule them - for any night I want, so long as all of the ladies get a fair chance and the site gets stuff they can use. I was actually looking more toward tomorrow's live show - please, John, get off my screen - than to a date with any woman not named Jasmine. But Jasmine's getting a bump to Monday, or maybe Sunday after I tell Juanita off again, so I can go dancing with Ingrid on Friday. I can't wait to see what kind of moves she has. I guess I have to go over everything now - I've seen all ten women, including the two who were cut and a couple who barely spoke. One took place despite a distance of over 6,000 miles - starting to think just using Skype would have been easier, but no, the producers had something infinitely more complicated in mind. Some producer told me I should wear a tie on these dates - my words to him were, "Do you see a casket here holding someone I love? Then back off." He did. I enjoy making cracks like that as long as it dulls the pain of actually having to bring someone into my life to replace a woman who did a lot for me. Let's see...she put up with my idiosyncrasies, which are actually beneficial in this economy. She took care of me after my illness. She saved my life - twice. I wonder how many Bachelors and Bachelorettes are trying to fill shoes this big. You want an easy replacement? Call my cousin Rick when his divorce does final - all you have to do is let him do the kind of work he wants and not cheat on him. And put up with his half-insane father. OK, completely insane father. Who's still missing four teeth from what I did to him. ----------------------------------------------------------- Pink Room, Day 12 ----------------------------------------------------------- "OK, so it's John. Not Marcus. Marcus stays." Valerie, very directly, to Taylor. "Sure, we could have the votes. Ben wants Marcus out. His alliance could be talked into it. But we're not doing it." "OK," replies a somewhat confused Taylor. "I guess I have to ask. Why?" "With Marcus, we know where he stands. We also know he's the least likely God Squad member to win." Marcus was actually relieved not to be competing in the veto competition and said he would have quit if he had to play. "John's unpredictable. One minute, he wants out, and the next, he's clanging pots and pans demanding the veto to take himself off. And if not for Harvey's performance," she pauses, "John might have had a shot. I get it - Harvey and Juanita have to set it up so the person who's not on the block wins." "My alliance is voting John." Thank you, Taylor, a.k.a. Captain Obvious. "We have four definite votes, including me, and Harvey and Juanita want John gone. I guess they tried to work with him, and he wouldn't do it. Either he's trying to get evicted," she opines, "or he's trying to make us think he's totally insane. And it's not like this is without precedent. Look at Dan last season. He made people think he was weak and abrasive, and they kept him until it was too late, and he burned them. What's to say John doesn't do the same thing?" "And you just proved my point." Taylor nods in approval at Valerie. "I'll tell my alliance. And if your alliance wins Head of Household next week, let's agree to target the floaters. Try to have a little peace in here until we absolutely have to turn this into a bloodbath. Well, hopefully it doesn't get that vicious, you know." An uneasy laugh from the Texan, complemented by an even more uneasy laugh from the Mississippian dressed in all black.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 09-30-10, 04:02 PM (EST) 2. "Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode 4 - "That's Against the Rules!"" ----------------------------------------------------------- Outside the House, Day 12 ----------------------------------------------------------- "Good evening, America; I'm Rex Majors." The words slip off his tongue with more emotion than Julie Chen's ever did. Also, no tie - a black suit, no stripes, and a blue shirt - somewhere between royal blue and Carolina blue. "Tonight on Big Brother, the houseguests face their first eviction of the season. John, the anti-social stock trader from New York City is on the block with Marcus, the nervous child-proofer from Brick, New Jersey. All week, it's been looking like John's out, since he has no allies and no one protecting him. But recently, Ben came forward with a plan to get rid of Marcus. The saying in Big Brother is that the pawn goes home. When the houseguests cast their votes live this evening, we'll find out if that holds true for this season." "Before the hour's over, we'll talk to Cinnamon, the controversial Head of Household, and we'll talk to the first evicted houseguest. After that, we'll crown the next Head of Household." Yes, we all know the formula. "First up this evening, Cinnamon's alliance looks for a way to strike at the God Squad by voting out Marcus, but it's a struggle to get all the votes they need. The God Squad is four votes strong, and Harvey said he's definitely voting John. With Juanita in his corner, it's lights out and back to New York for the stock trader who's been called completely insane by his housemates. Let's see what Ben has in mind to disrupt the plan to send John packing." With that, cue scene. About five minutes or so pass. Back to Rex and his tie-less collar. "Let's talk to the houseguests and see how things have shaken out." Click on the button to activate the Voice of God. "Good evening, houseguests." Surprisingly more formal than Julie was. "Hi, Rex!" The expected chorus back. Noticeably absent from the voices are John and Juanita. Time to make John sweat. "John, the tide of the house seems to be against you this week. What have you done to make yourself safe?" "Only what I can do." Not much to say. "Besides marching through the house and clanging pans together," continues Rex to the laughs of the studio audience and John's housemates - and a hope from Harvey that he doesn't still have those pans, "have you made any moves to ensure your safety?" "I don't want to campaign to stay here." At least he used the word 'campaign' correctly. "Marcus is here for his children, and if I go home because people decide I shouldn't be here instead of him, so be it." Not the answer Rex wanted. Get used to it. "Ben, I'll turn to you. What's been the best thing about being in the house?" Cue hopeful stares from two females. "Do I have to pick just one thing?" he asks. "I love it here. And yes, it's no secret Taylor and I have gotten pretty close. I'm sure the fans have already blended our names somehow." That part's true, though 'Baylor' is about the best anyone can do. Someone dreamed up 'Taylen,' but it hasn't caught on. "But I never would have guessed that my best friend in the house is a woman who makes...well..." "You can say it," laughs Cinnamon. "Adult films. I'm not ashamed of it." "Speaking of your occupation, Cinnamon," chimes in Rex, "I have to ask. You and Elizabeth have gone back and forth over it. We all saw her take on it. What's yours?" "I'm used to hearing from people like Elizabeth," she states flatly. "I get protests, hate mail, and condemnations all the time. It doesn't make me a bad person, and it's not my entire life. I just have to learn to have a thick skin. And hey, life is fun. I do what I love, and I live the way I enjoy." "Any rebuttals, Elizabeth?" "No," she replies. "I think she about covered it. I can't change her. I can help her if she wants to change, but I can't force a change, and I wouldn't want to. It wouldn't be genuine." "That's fair, I guess." Pause for dramatic effect and transition. "I'll be back to talk with you guys later." "Thanks, Rex." The closing chorus. This time, Juanita's part of it, but John is not. Back to talking to the camera. "After the break, we'll talk one-on-one with Cinnamon, and we'll see John's last-ditch move in his continuing quest to claim the veto for himself. We'll be back." Cue camera panning away and token audience applause. Also cue Rex asking for a Coors Light but willing to accept a ginger ale. Back from commercial and refreshed, it's back to business for the new host. "Welcome back to Big Brother." With only a hint of a pause, "Tonight, we have our first live eviction, and we speak with the Head of Household next. Next, however, we watch John's plea to stay in the game and the moves behind the scenes to save him or put him away." Cue scene. Thankfully, no clanging pots. ----------------------------------------------------------- Head of Household Room, Day 12 ----------------------------------------------------------- She did say she can get dressed up for certain occasions. Granted, a tank top and Daisy Dukes doesn't qualify as dressed up to most people, but at least she's dressed in something more substantial than a bikini. Cinnamon, the most controversial player of the season, if not ever, sits waiting for the host to address her. She's already been briefed about this interview - speak your mind, but don't drop any F-bombs. This is harder for some people than others. Cinnamon, unfortunately, would fall into the "some people" category, having dropped 192 F-bombs since the start of the show by the count of someone who really needs something to do. Finally, the host appears on her TV. "Hey, Cinnamon," he speaks. "Hey, Rex," the polite reply. "Just a reminder," he continues, "that your housemates cannot hear you, so feel free to be candid." Valerie would have taken the bit about her housemates not hearing her as a challenge. "Obviously you have been targeted by the other alliance. They even call themselves the God Squad. Do you see that as a personal attack?" "They are putting it out there that they are people of faith, almost to the exclusion of everyone else." Continuing, "It's as if they say that they are the defenders of faith in here, and we are somehow unholy. It's turning the game into a bit of a holy war, and to be honest, I'd rather it was just a game." "I see." Sure he does. "So the religious divide is pretty deep here. Are all the God Squad members as outspoken as Elizabeth?" "It's not just that, and no, actually; Jason's pretty quiet about faith matters. It's as if he's the only one there who recognizes that this is a game for a half-million dollars." Some bubbling frustration in her words. "And the difficult thing for me is that it's really hard for me to talk about my faith in here because it's such a hot-button issue for them." "If I'm not mistaken," replies Rex, "this is the first time you've brought up your faith in the house." "It is," and at this point, she's holding back tears. "I've been pretty non-committal about it here in the house because I feel like it's the only thing that gets them off my back about it. But I do go to church. And I know that the last thing that anyone expects me to be in this house is a devout Christian. But I am one. And it's a big part of my life that I can't talk about because the God Squad's so in-your-face about their beliefs." "I completely understand." The words of Rex's lips actually seem genuine this time. "I'm just floored by this revelation. I knew this show would be full of surprises, but I never expected anything like this." "I know." The tears have almost changed to laughter. "Seeing me come out of church is like seeing, I don't know, seeing your teacher come out of a department store. It doesn't add up." Though both Rex and Cinnamon laugh, some uneasiness is in the air. "I do have to ask," as Rex tries to change the subject, "you know, you and Ben seem a bit like an odd couple. How is that working for you guys?" "Ben's a great guy. He was the one who came to me and wanted to be friends, and I wasn't receptive at first. I thought he was just getting close because I was Head of Household." He wouldn't be the first. "But he's the rare person in the house I can trust." "Even when there's another woman involved?" jokes Rex. "Hey now," she fires back. "Ben and I are more like brother and sister than a couple. But I know his first loyalty in here is to me. Taylor's in another alliance, so I'm good with using that relationship to keep our enemies close, but as far as losing Ben's loyalty, I don't see that happening." "Thank you, Cinnamon; you can rejoin your housemates downstairs." She says goodbye, and her screen returns to its usual screen-saver pattern. Back to Rex talking to the camera - and not in a John-inspired way. "Next up, either John or Marcus will take the first walk of shame out the front door, and the house votes live for who it will be. We'll be back." Cue token applause, commercial, some interesting stuff in the house they'll never show, Marcus developing six more gray hairs during the commercial break, Cinnamon rejoining her housemates, and someone cleaning up the exploded remains of a houseguest - no telling which one - and replacing them with an exact replica. Cue more puppet-like applause. "Welcome back to Big Brother." In some ways, Rex's manner of speaking is a clear deviation from Julie Chen's. That is not one of them. "Here in a minute, we'll conduct the first live eviction. John and Marcus, as the nominees, can't vote, and neither can Cinnamon, the Head of Household. Let's begin." Again, cue the button that kicks in the feed to the houseguests. "Houseguests, shortly we will begin the first live eviction of the season. John and Marcus, you guys can't vote, and neither can you, Cinnamon. Everyone else will cast your votes one at a time in the Diary Room. When we're done, I'll announce the results. Cameron, you're up first." Jumping out of her seat, the somewhat invisible blonde glides into the diary room with a giant smile on her face. Dressed in form-fitting jeans and a black blouse, she flips her hair back and takes her seat on the bluish couch in the Diary Room. "Hey, Cameron." Rex's words, a bit less formal than Julie's were. "Hi, Rex." The typical response. "Please cast your vote to evict." "I vote to evict John." One vote John. "Thank you, Cameron; please send in Harvey." Make it two votes John. Rex's ongoing commentary: "Harvey's had disagreements with Marcus, but he said he was voting John. Let's see if he changed his mind." Harvey sits and quickly crosses his legs, his Chicago P.D. T-shirt - of which he brought four - clearly visible. His Chicago P.D. tattoo? Covered. "Hey, Harvey." "Hi," he grunts back. "Please cast your vote to evict." "I vote to evict Supreme Jackass John." Elicit a small chuckle from Rex. He then asks for Valerie. As she walks back, "Valerie's alliance put in place a plan to get Marcus out, but Valerie wasn't on board. Did Ben and Cinnamon sway her?" She plops down with all the grace of a flying anvil. "Hey, Valerie." She's at least smiling, though one wonders if it's because she gets the chance to go off slop the net day. "Howdy, Rex." She should have brought a cowgirl hat. "Please cast your vote to evict." "I vote to evict John." Next to face Rex? Jamal. "Jamal's been at odds with Ben over Taylor. Are they at odds over who should go home?" He's at least wearing a shirt - he had spent the last few days without one. "Hey, Jamal." "Sup, big daddy?" Rex chuckles at the new nickname, a somewhat ironic one. "Please cast your vote to evict." "I vote to evict John." Next to come back is Elizabeth. "Elizabeth is close to Marcus; if she votes to evict him, it's a shock." No surprise expected here; John needs a miracle. Or not. Whatever. "Hey, Elizabeth." "Hi, Rex." Nothing special, but this was said with some extra twang. "Please cast your vote to evict." "I vote to evict John." Next to come back is Edward. "Edward's part of the God Squad alliance, but he's close to Taylor, who might be interested in getting Marcus out. John needs every vote from here on out to stay." Edward, thankfully, is not in a suit, though he is in a striped button-down - and suspenders. "Hey, Edward." "Good evening, sir." At least he didn't follow that comment up with "I need to see your license and registration." "Please cast your vote to evict." "I vote to evict John." Very dry, nothing extra. Let's hope he grills better than he talks. Speaking of good grilling, Giovanna's next. "It's official; John's evicted, but let's continue. Giovanna got into it earlier with John, so she should relish this chance to put the knife in his heart." Let's hope Giovanna didn't hear that comment. She might take it literally. "Hey, Giovanna." "What's up, Rex?" "Please cast your vote to evict." "I gladly, with marinara sauce on top, vote to evict John." "Thank you, Giovanna, for making us all hungry." Cue laughter from the studio audience. Also cue Taylor heading back. "Taylor was part of the plan to get rid of Marcus, and though it's too late, let's see if she went for it." One wonders how many cows died to make that outfit of hers. "Hey, Taylor." "Hi, Rex." No, Taylor, you don't have to flirt with him, too. "Please cast your vote to evict." "I vote to evict John." Unlike many others, who used self-trained pauses between the words "evict" and "John," no hint of a pause. Jason's next. "Jason's spent all week trying to reassure Marcus he's safe. How good a salesman is he?" Yes, that shirt's ironed - and so is the tie. "Hey, Jason." "Hi, Rex." "Please cast your vote to evict." "I vote to evict John." Out he goes, off to the next sale. At least he's one for one in this game. That said, it's a little like asking someone in the line at Starbucks if they want a coffee - not much to sell. Ben's up next. "Ben spearheaded the plot to get rid of Marcus, but it crumbled around him. Will he stick with it?" Pause for him to sit down in his ugly Simon Cowell shirt. "Hey, Ben." "Hi, Rex." Goofy grin indeed. "Please cast your vote to evict." "I vote to evict John." And the tally to evict Marcus remains at zero. Last but not least is Juanita, a.k.a. Rex's favorite player in the world. "One more vote to go. Let's see how it pans out." Good, old-fashioned, all-American hate. Isn't that the name of a college rivalry game? She takes her cue and sits down. "Please cast your vote to evict." "I vote to evict John." Both in a perfect deadpan. With the word "John," Rex cuts his feed to the house and turns back around, and Juanita wordlessly stands up and walk out, taking her seat on the cool people's couch.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 09-30-10, 04:05 PM (EST) 3. "Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode 4 - "That's Against the Rules!"" ----------------------------------------------------------- Outside the House, Day 12 ----------------------------------------------------------- As she sits down, Rex declares to the camera, "Let's break the news to the houseguests." Cue the feed again. "John and Marcus, just a quick reminder that, when I reveal the results, the person evicted will need to say his final goodbyes, grab his belongings, and leave the house immediately." Pause for no reason. "In a unanimous vote, the person evicted," and another unnecessary pause, since every houseguest who knows what the word "unanimous" means is aware of the result, "is John." John gets up out of his chair and makes a beeline for the door - no hugs or handshakes goodbye, not even a word. And as he's leaving, not one person gets out of their seat. In fact, the only words spoken the entire time are from Marcus: "What does 'unanimous' mean?" Leaving behind an apathetic house, John pushes open the front door without even saying goodbye, and the foyer camera watches him push open the second door to the studio. The crowd, trained to cheer and applaud, does so, though no one's sure if it's for him or because he's out of the game. Only a couple of people are offering hands for shaking or high-fiving, and John's ignoring them, making a quick walk to the couch where Rex is standing. At least he shakes Rex's hand, though it does not appear any words are exchanged. No doubt, the viewers at home are witnessing the joy the house is feeling from having him gone - the studio audience? He's their problem now. The couches are pulled together, and John's at stop one on his dream journey back to the NYSE. Within a few seconds, it's time to interview the evicted houseguest - listen for any clues that might indicate John's worst nightmare, a.k.a. sequester. "Honestly, John, I don't know the last time I saw that chilly of a goodbye given to anyone." And that counts all the people hauled out of his call center gig by security. "I knew it was coming." Straight to the point. "I knew no one really appreciated me in that house, and I didn't expect to see a lot of teary-eyed people getting up to hug me or shake my hand." "Did you ask them not to?" Fair question. "Sort of. It was kind of implied that I wanted them to remain seated when I left." The chilly silence was their own doing, apparently. "I didn't really want any awkward moments, especially since I might feel kind of gross with that stripper girl who put me up being all over me, and I know the other guy doesn't like to be touched." Wow. "Did you really put forth much effort to get to know them?" Try laying it on some more, why don't you, Rex? "Well, not really." At least he's honest. "I knew going in that I was an outsider. They kind of made assumptions about me, and I couldn't really get into any of the alliances." "You just referred to your fellow nominee as 'the other guy.'" Rex not pulling any punches. "I have to ask - how many of your housemates can you name?" "Well..." The sweat seems to pour from his face as if he's in one of those 1950s isolation-booth game shows. "The guy who hung all over the Mexican girl was a cop or a firefighter or something, and the Head of Household was a stripper named...oh, Christ, what was her name...Sugar, I think. Something you put in a cake. Sprinkles, maybe. That's it." Rex is not amused. "Her name is Cinnamon." And the cop's name is Harvey, and the Mexican girl is actually Nicaraguan. Good thing he didn't go on one of those shows where a good social game is important - oh, wait. "And also, in the event that you were the one evicted..." Judging by Rex's tone, he wasn't so much thinking of the word 'event' as 'damn-near-certainty.' "...your housemates taped some goodbye messages for you. Let's listen." Naturally, all of them are filmed in the Diary Room in secret, though they might as well have been filmed right in the living room. First up is Harvey. "Honestly, man, you're the most obnoxious person I've ever met, and I'm glad you’re gone. I've talked down people with AK-47s and child hostages who were saner than you. Get the hell out of here and get on with it." Cut immediately to Cinnamon. "I put you up because I felt like you didn't use your chances to get to know any of us, and evicting you was the best decision for me in the first week. I wouldn't be offending anyone by getting rid of you because, to be honest, no one likes you. Sorry about your luck." Off to Elizabeth. "I tried to be your friend, and you never gave me the chance. I hope God works a miracle in you, and you change yourself on the outside, because you need it." Ben's next. "I'm a little upset by the way you threw away this opportunity. Very few people get to play Big Brother, and for you to treat it like it's nothing is just spitting in the face of everyone who tries like crazy to get on the show. You suck, dude." Time for one more, and here comes Juanita. Sorry, Rex. "You never bothered to learn my name or anything about me, and I'm probably not the only person here that can say that. Your people skills are terrible, and you must be the best stock trader in the world, because I wouldn't hire you to pump my gas with the way you treated me. By the way, my name is Juanita. Just so you don't forget." Cue Rex again - with no time to swig some Scope to get the bad Juanita taste out of his mouth. "That's some pretty tough commentary from your fellow housemates. Is that hard to hear?" "Not at all. I'm going back to New York, and I'll never have to see any of those losers again in my life." Umm, hold that thought. "Well, you will be back here on finale night when we crown the winner of Big Brother, but yes, other than that, you're on your way home." Cue an even more awkward handshake. "Thanks for being here, John." And Rex wants the head of the person who insisted on casting him. No more John as the camera focuses in on Rex. "When we come back, we'll learn who's taking Cinnamon's place as Head of Household for this week. Back in a flash." Cue applause, and as the camera zooms out, John's gone. If it's up to him, he's back on a plane to the Big Apple and he'll be at work in the morning. But sadly, it's not, and he still has to do the Early Show in the morning. Ha ha. ----------------------------------------------------------- Twitter.com CBS Big Brother ----------------------------------------------------------- --Cinnamon. Stripper. Porn star. Lesbian. Big breasts. Piercings. Tattoos. Drugs. Parties. Christian? LOLWUT? --If she's a devout Christian, then I'm the Dalai Lama. --Last time I checked, Christians aren't allowed to sleep with other women for money. Or flaunt their bodies. Pride much? --Who's her pastor? Ron Jeremy? Does she volunteer with Sister Jenna Jameson? --Does her church take the offering out of her g-string? --She says she goes to church. Is Church the name of the strip club she works at? Ba-zing. --Dude, you're stupid. We thought of way better ones than that. --What? It's not without precedent. Here in Columbus they have a campus bar called The Library. --At least they don't have one called AA Meeting. That's when you know your town's drinking is out of control. --So wait a sec - we just witnessed the first eviction, and we're talking about Cinnamon and church? Really? --I'm from L.A. - she's telling the truth. I've seen her at church. --No you haven't. --OK, no I haven't, but I have seen her at volunteer events sponsored by the church. Watch the Live Feeds - she has a cross tattoo. --Why do I need to see the Live Feeds for that? --Because the broadcast never focuses on the back of her left thigh, where it is. --To the poster above: You found the cross tattoo just below the tattoo on her ass of two hot girls doing it. You just failed the Straight Test. --So anyway, who's sad to see John go? I thought he was kind of entertaining in a loser-ish way. --I didn't miss the tattoo; it just wasn't relevant to my tweet. I could probably point out about 25 tattoos on her body. --I subscribe to her site, and I'm sure she doesn't have 25 tattoos. --I wouldn't admit that fact to too many people. --So...really. I'm sad to see John go. And I hope Marcus stays so he can go insane a little longer. --To whoever's interrupting the Cinnamon chatter: The loser board is that way.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 09-30-10, 04:07 PM (EST) 4. "Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode 4 - "That's Against the Rules!"" ----------------------------------------------------------- Backyard, Day 12 ----------------------------------------------------------- Twelve people stand at podiums that are directly adjacent to each other, unable to see anyone else and looking directly forward. The concept is simple and well-known to the house - turn the triangle in front of you to the left to choose A and to the right to choose B. Get it wrong, and take a seat with the 13th person in the house - Cinnamon, the outgoing HoH who is not eligible to compete. To think, she could have skipped a competition that involved crawling through mud or something - except she'd probably claim she like that. With everyone in position, it's time to cue Rex's feed to the house - as always, both Rex and the house can hear each other, but the house cannot see Rex. Time to start - straight to business as Rex begins to speak. "Houseguests, the power is in play." A departure from the clunkier version Julie Chen always employed - clearly Rex either got to change it or he went off-script. "This competition is for Head of Household, and it's called 'Majority Rules.' Cinnamon, as the outgoing HoH, you can't play. The rules are simple. I will read a statement and two possible endings. Select A or B based on what you believe the majority of the house will select. Guess right, and you stay in it; guess wrong and you're out. If the vote is tied or unanimous, the last person to lock in an answer will be out, so be quick. You will get a five-count to lock in an answer - no warnings. If you don't lock one in, you're out. The last player standing is the new Head of Household." Not time to explain the tiebreaker yet, then. "First statement. If Jason were selling a deed to the Brooklyn Bridge, the person most likely to buy it is A. Marcus or B. Ben." Clearly a split down alliance lines - Ben, Cameron, Giovanna, Jamal, and Valerie all lock in Marcus, as do Harvey and Juanita. Elizabeth, Jason, and Marcus all lock in Ben. Only Edward and Taylor break ranks, locking in Marcus. "In a 9-3 vote, the answer is Marcus. Jason, Elizabeth, and Marcus, you're all eliminated. Everyone, please reset." Cue all three clearing out after resetting their triangles. "Second statement. The person you would never see at one of the house's morning prayer services is: A. Harvey or B. Cinnamon." Obviously Cinnamon isn't 'out' to the house yet in this regard, as evidenced by the fact that Ben, Giovanna, and Jamal all vote for her - Valerie initially does but changes her mind. Harvey, an open atheist, picks himself - and five others follow suit. "In a 6-3 vote, the answer is Harvey. Ben, Giovanna, and Jamal, you're all eliminated. Everyone, please reset." The camera picks up an embarrassed look from Cinnamon and a cold stare from Elizabeth. "Third statement. If Taylor's going to date someone in the house, it should be: A. Jamal or B. Ben." At least Ben and Jamal are out at this point - only Cameron, Edward, Harvey, Juanita, Taylor, and Valerie remain. And judging by their answers, you can kiss Harvey and Valerie goodbye; both went with Jamal. "In a 4-2 vote, the answer is Ben. Valerie and Harvey, you're eliminated; everyone, please reset." And then there were four. Cue an oddly satisfied look from Valerie. "Fourth statement. If you had to predict a post-Big Brother career for one housemate it would be: A. Jason as the next Billy Mays or B. Harvey as the next Donald Trump." Immediately, all four triangles flip to A, hitting the A in succession - first Juanita, then Edward, and then Cameron, nosing out Taylor. "In a unanimous vote, the answer is Jason as the next Billy Mays. Taylor, you were the slowest to answer, so you are out. Everyone, please reset." Down to three - Edward from the God Squad, Juanita the floater, and Cameron from the unnamed super-alliance. "Fifth statement. If you were to see John on the outside, you would: A. Ask him for a hot stock tip or B. Run the other direction." Two quick answers - Juanita for A and Cameron for B. Wait for it - and Edward picks B in the nick of time. "In a 2-1 vote, the answer is Run the other direction. Juanita, you're eliminated; everyone, please reset." Only Edward and Cameron remain. "We're down to the final two, so Edward and Cameron, if you would please get your chalkboards, here's how it works. The answer to this question will be a number. The houseguest whose answer is the closest without going over wins. If both are over, whoever is closest wins, and if your answers are the same, whoever answers first wins. Here goes. How many pounds of Big Brother slop were in the pantry when the season started?" Let's see. Twenty-four buckets. Times X number of pounds. How many pounds does a bowl of slop weigh? Does that include condiments? What about the insane amounts of sugar Valerie put in hers - so much for losing weight on the slop diet? "Reveal." Up first is Cameron - 1580. Edward chooses 1024. Not sure how he came up with that one. "The answer..." Pause for dramatic effect. "...is one thousand, two hundred, and fifty. Edward wins Head of Household!" Cue a fist-pump that bumps the edge of the wall. The attorney - still in a dress shirt - dashes over to Cinnamon to receive the key, which is more of a symbolic gesture since he's not allowed up there until they deck the place out in, say, a couple of hours - change the sheets, put in his favorite snacks and music, whip out a letter that his wife undoubtedly wrote him, the usual steps for a new HoH. "Now that Edward's Head of Household, what does this do to the game dynamic? Stay tuned." Cue commercial and an undoubted exchange in the backyard of exuberance, frustration, and possible threats to someone's life - at least in the game. Two minutes or so pass - Big Brother's known for long amounts of commercials. Back to Rex. "Welcome back to Big Brother. Edward, the attorney from Silver Lake, Kansas, is the new Head of Household." Cue the screen behind Rex giving the next show time. "Join us on Sunday at eight to see who Edward's choices for nominations are and to see the first game-changing twist of the season, and then on Tuesday at eight, the Power of Veto gives on person to change the nominations. Also, next Thursday at eight, join us for the second live eviction of the season. For now, let's watch the house. For Big Brother, I'm Rex Majors; take it easy." ----------------------------------------------------------- Blog Entry, 7/17/2009 Authored by: Rex Majors, stillaliveandkicking ----------------------------------------------------------- Blecch. No reason I can't run this blog at one in the damn morning. And no reason I can't talk about my personal life, especially since the nice ladies I've been dating need to know a little about the real Rex and the kind of crap I go through. Try having a racist uncle who can't stand your girlfriend just because she's a different race, no matter what she does. Then try finding out he's not actually a racist, but he's just covering up for an affair he had years ago - because his son brought home the illegitimate daughter as his prom date. Fast-forward six months, and crazy Uncle Larry managed to keep his wife around and earn my parents' forgiveness. Still not sure how he pulled that one off - until now. I got a phone call from him about an hour ago, and I still can't shake it. "Good evening, Rex. Great show." Thanks, asshole. I did what I could with the pinhead who just got evicted. "I'm really happy for your recent success--" "Don't try to butter me up, OK?" Not buying it. Totally not buying it. Pay me a compliment and then try to sell me a load of crap. Typical salesman strategy; if you want to use it, go on the show. It's probably what kept Aunt Lillian from leaving. And I told him that. "Actually, it's not." Go on. Or don't. I don't care. "I realized that there was something missing before in my life, and without it, I couldn't have a successful marriage. I was too wrapped up in my own life to give myself completely to your aunt Lillian." Hmm. What could that something be? Oh, right. We have a regular Elizabeth on our hands - a born-again Christian. "It was through my example that your aunt was born-again as well, and we want to share it with you. You're a great man, Rex, and you deserve all the good things Christ has to offer. I'm sorry that there was unpleasantness before." "Do you even understand the consequences of your actions?" Pure exasperation on my part. "Because of you, someone I love is dead. What do you have to say about that?" "I understand you're upset about that." The word 'upset' doesn't begin to describe it. I'm not sure if I can even really pick someone new yet. But they offered me an extra hundred grand for the gig plus a new laptop, access to a company credit card, and even a nice new car to drive my dates around in, not that I care. "The fact is, I've been visiting Ronnie in prison, and he's as sorry that this happened as I am." That's rich. The man's a borderline psychopath. He hit his oldest kid just because it felt good to him. "We want your forgiveness, the same kind of forgiveness Christ guaranteed when he died for you." "So what you're offering me," and let's see if I have this down, "is someone who died so that I could go on living." He confirms that. "I have someone like that. Someone very close to me. Her name was Carrie. She didn't die on a cross. She died in a hospital bed on Christmas Eve after jumping in front of a bullet." Granted, Carrie's death was a bit more haphazard - she got the bullet by accident trying to push me out of the way - but nonetheless, the pieces fit. "And I know exactly who killed her. It was your son. A man so consumed by hate that he deified his own race above everything else. To the point that Carrie had to die." "Please, Rex; I'm just trying to help--" "Do you really think this clears your conscience?" From exasperation straight into fury. "Do you really think I care that you're sorry? You want to fix this? Do you?" He says he does. "Then bring her back! Bring her back from the dead without a scratch and we'll call it even!" Obviously he can't do that. "Then I guess you'll have to live with this on your conscience and just accept that I don't care what you do. I don't want to see you or talk to you ever again, and if I do, I'm promising violence. Stay the hell out of my life, you ignorant bastard." Time for the rebuttal. "Look, your folks already forgave me, and you'll see me again at family events, and--" "If you're there, I'm not." Let's make that clear now. "As far as I'm concerned, we're not family anymore, and we never were. I won't answer your calls, I'll delete your texts, and I'll burn any letter you send me without opening it. I don't care if there's a million dollars inside; if it's from you, I don't want it. Just do the world a big favor and drop dead." At this point, I hang up the phone. Done with this. Done. D-U-triple-N, in the words of Season 9 coffee barista Natalie, who's probably off doing something creepy right now. Thankfully, she was Julie's problem, not mine. I have my own mess of weirdos to deal with. Trust me, though; trying to interview john was a thousand times easier than dealing with the less stable factions of my family. That's probably why they hired me, although I'm sure they cast Harvey as a contingency plan. ----------------------------------------------------------- End of Episode #4 -----------------------------------------------------------   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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