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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 05-26-10, 10:03 PM (EST) "Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode 3 - "Wait, We Can't Go In There"" ----------------------------------------------------------- Diary Room, Day 5 ----------------------------------------------------------- "If anyone can tell me what Cinnamon has against me, that would be great," groans a frustrated Harvey after being nominated for the first eviction of the season. "I get it, sort of. I'm a guy, and I think she's really attractive. She's not into men, and from what I hear, most strippers have a huge chip on their shoulder against men. Funny thing about that is, I see that more out of her than out of anyone in Chicago. But why the hell," talking with his hands at this point, "is she all over that loser Ben?" "It's OK. I'll win the veto." The wheels clearly turning in his head. "But Cinnamon doesn't like Juanita, either, and if anyone finds out she has a Ph.D. and works for NASA, she'll be gone and we'll be stuck with that idiot John for another week. For all I know, he'll win the whole thing once he figures out he has a shot at doing so." Counting on his fingers, Harvey tries to formulate another plan; fortunately for the producers, who schedule Diary Room time tightly, he doesn't pause to pray to God as many of his housemates would. "Juanita has to win the POV. She'll take me off the block, and who the hell's going to stop her? She wants John gone. If I'm still up, the only vote I have is Juanita's. The rest of the house wants me out." Again, the wheels turning. "Except maybe Giovanna. And Cinnamon. I suppose I could talk them into putting up Edward, but he has those assholes from the God Squad on his side. Four votes Harvey, and goodnight Chicago if two more people are convinced." ----------------------------------------------------------- Diary Room, Day 5 ----------------------------------------------------------- "If I win the veto, fine; if I don't fine." This snippet being about all the producers cared to use of John's DR confessional. "Frankly, I'm so sick of this place, I just want out." No wheels turning in his head. "The hell with it. Get me out of here. Now. I want out. I'm so bored and so isolated. Get me back to the floor of the NYSE. I never wanted on this show to begin with." The exit door to the Diary Room still locked, John's trapped in his own personal hell. Fifteen minutes of trying to get the door open, and he sits back down, defeated. "You're actually going to make me get myself evicted, aren't you?" At least with an eviction, he pockets a thousand bucks for being in the house, plus whatever they feel like giving him for the Reunion show. But is it worth eating slop and sleeping on the couch, when at home, he lives off TV dinners and sleeps on a king size bed in a Manhattan apartment? "John, it's Allison, and I hope this is the last time I have to talk to you this season." The feeling's mutual, though John never voices it. "You signed up for this, knowing full well there's nothing short of a family emergency or a terrorist attack that's getting you out of here unless you're evicted. And since you haven't spoken to anyone in your family in three years, the first one isn't happening." She cuts deep, this Ms. Grodner. "Look, lady," he grunts, "if you're planning on making my life here a living hell for the rest of my stay, then I'm cutting it as short as possible. Get me out of here, or I'll go back to lying on the couch all day and not talking to anyone." "That's your choice," she replies, succinctly. "If you think you can get yourself out of here, I have thirteen people who want to stay. Now get the hell out of here and start participating." John gets up and leaves, one middle finger extended. ----------------------------------------------------------- Diary Room, Day 6 ----------------------------------------------------------- "At this point, I don't give a damn who leaves, as long as it's one of those three," exasperates Cinnamon, the HoH wearing her key and very little else. "John's not fun to be around, and Juanita rubs me the wrong way. I can't explain it, but she just...seems like the kind of person who will burn me. I have to burn her first and ignore her when she calls me a racist for doing so." At this point, Cinnamon's just being facetious; her response to people who would call her a racist is to point out the diversity of girls who appear on her site. "Harvey...where do I begin?" Making it clear that this is a tough subject for her. "It's not that I dislike the guy or anything, but he just...I don't know, doesn't relate too well. And when he doesn't relate well, he's obviously thinking about the game all the time. I can't get on his level. Besides," and this is also somewhat facetious, "he's the kind of person who visits strip clubs." Harvey's freely admitted that he's visited a few clubs, even while he was married, though during those visits, he was just going as moral support to cop friends who were going through tough divorces. "Maybe that's what I don't like about him. But whatever happens this week, one pain in my ass is gone." "And after this week, if I can arrange it, I'll have my bed partner with me. There's something I really love about Ben." Cinnamon had no brothers or sisters growing up, and Ben found it fascinating that someone in the house has the same first name as his own sister, even though Cinnamon has grown to dislike her given name. "I just wish I could be HoH back-to-back weeks. Sure is nice having that place all to myself. I can't imagine how people do it without someplace to go and have ten minutes just to think. I'll go crazy." The hot lesbian going crazy? The producers welcome it. ----------------------------------------------------------- Pantry, Day 6 ----------------------------------------------------------- "Seriously, Giovanna, I apologize." At this point, Giovanna's heard Edward's apology about fifty times in the past 24 hours, and no matter how many times she says she gets it, the man just doesn't believe her. "I'm stupid sometimes, and it's through the grace of God that my wife hasn't left me for it." "Seriously, Edward, I forgive you." Apparently, the first forty-nine times haven't sunk in. "And I forgave you the last time and the time before. I know you don't really mean to slander me." The look on Edward's face is something of uncertainty. "I know I'm not part of the vaunted God Squad, but I do know what it is to forgive." "I know." At this point, he's holding back tears, if for no other reason than that he has none left. Someone needs to tell him there's no crying in Big Brother. "I just can't forgive myself." "I can't help you there. You're the only one who can do that." At this point, Giovanna just wants to get back to her normal life in the house and go ten minutes without being apologized to. On the other hand, it makes her somewhat above reproach - at least for now. "Hey, can we finish this chat up over a beer?" "Isn't that your third one today?" inquires Edward. "What are you, my mother?" she snaps back. "Sorry," he sheepishly utters. "If you apologize to me one more time, I'll give you something to apologize for." Giovanna clearly new at the whole game of making parental threats. "You know I can only handle being in this house while I'm head-splitting drunk. I'm surprised those clean-living idiots can take it in here at all." "Well, they keep themselves amused," smirks Edward. "I ducked out of morning prayer service to be here." "Look, just go, OK? You don't need to apologize to me anymore." The look on Edward's face indicates that she missed the point of that statement. "Oh, I see. Well, in that case, I want you in here apologizing every morning over a beer." "Can I drink Coke instead?" he asks, reaching for a two-liter of Coca-Cola. "I stay away from alcohol until the sun goes down." "You do know it's summer, right?" As in, it gets darker later. Plus it's Daylight Saving Time, meaning it can be damn near nine o'clock before it's dark, and who the hell wants to wait that long for a cold one? Not the deli owner, who's also whipping up one of her concoctions - a tall sandwich on a rye roll with lots of meat. ----------------------------------------------------------- Living Room, Day 6 ----------------------------------------------------------- "Go in peace. Serve the Lord." Marcus ends the morning prayer service, an hour-plus of Marcus, Elizabeth, Jason, and Taylor ministering together in Jesus Christ. Ben sat in on one of those, but he decided even the Big Brother house was less boring than that. Plus, he didn't really feel like being born again, since it might mess up his place in the house. "Thanks be to God!" The resounding response from the other three, who have temporarily bumped John into the sauna room to sleep. The group had prayed for continued success in the house as well as the continued well-being of those they loved at home. Jason was slowly buying into it, but he cared more for the game than for the alliance he was in. That said, he once spent six minutes on the line praying with a client in order to gain her trust; it worked - she bought. "Shall we spend the morning ministering?" asks Elizabeth, hoping that her housemates will follow in her footsteps and become born-again Christians like her. Fortunately, for Elizabeth, her number-one target just strolled out of the diary room, barely wearing anything. The producers reluctantly green-lighted the g-string she has on, and how the hell does that top hold her breasts? Not that it mattered; she was working with producers to green-light going topless. This was, of course, entirely in the name of publicity - hot girl gets naked, she attracts attention, people look her up, they go to her site, they sign up, and she makes big bucks. She wasn't allowed to bring a tank top advertising her site, so she uses her best assets. "Have you been born again?" asks Elizabeth, directed at the disinterested blonde bombshell. "Go to hell, old lady," she dismisses. "I'm just trying to save your soul, young woman. I'm doing you a favor because Christ teaches us to love everyone." Cinnamon continues to ignore her, going into the kitchen to make a snack - one thing only half of the house knows about her is she makes a mean ravioli dish. "That's funny," Cinnamon ponders, "because Christ taught me the same thing. I think I'm just a bit more hands-on about it than you are." Behind the two of them, Ben can't contain his laughter. "I take this very seriously, missy," the Southern born-again interjects. "I'm trying to help you. I see a lot of good in you." "You want to see some good in me?" winks the adult film star, clearly getting ready to say something dirty. "Tell you what. Go get an X-ray machine, and I'll eat some of my ravioli. Then, in an hour, you see the good ravioli in me." Elizabeth is confused, so Cinnamon is clearly the winner. "Or I can just show you something now." She opens her mouth and sticks out her tongue - twice pierced with diamond studs. "My girl got these for me as a birthday gift." Sure, Cinnamon's money paid for it, and Candy's ex picked them out – that’s Cinnamon’s story and she’s sticking to it - but give the girl some credit. "Don't you think they're good?" "I'm going to continue praying for you, young woman," clearly refusing to call Cinnamon by her preferred name, knowing how she got it. "Tomorrow's prayer service, expect to hear your ears burning as Christ does his work in you." "I'll tell you what, Elizabeth." Cinnamon not at all ready to be serious. "I'll come to prayer service with you sometime. But you have to do one thing for me." Elizabeth, intrigued at having an in-road to converting this she-devil, is interested. "Get your tongue pierced," she replies. "I'll do it for you, and don't worry, I brought my piercer along." Elizabeth doesn't even wear earrings or any jewelry; by contrast, Cinnamon's clearly pierced just about everything she can think of. Elizabeth shudders, thinking of the pain of having her tongue pierced - Cinnamon said it didn't hurt, but by her own admission, she was high when she had it done. Frustrated, the housewife turns her attention to another - Juanita, who's wearing a cross necklace. "Hey Juanita, have you been born again?" she asks in a voice that she wants the entire house to hear. "I was born once," she snaps back. "Not going through that again." Elizabeth tries to counter - and Juanita puts up her hand. Every utterance - she deflects. Getting nowhere, the lady in the gray dress moves on. "Can you believe that woman?" asks Cinnamon, directed at both Ben and Juanita, self-professed Christians. "Have I been born-again? What a crock," dismisses Juanita in the only subject on which she agrees with the current HoH. "If Harvey wins the veto, can she go up instead?" "Are you kidding?" Cinnamon chuckles. "She's too funny. I mean, I respect Christians and all, and I know you're both pretty serious Christians, but life's too short to be that bent-out-of-shape all the damn time. And the funny part is," and she prepares for the kill, "that, even with what I do for a living and who I love, I'm still probably living pretty damn close to as many values that Jesus espouses as she is." The simultaneous double-take by Ben and Juanita might be over the fact that Cinnamon's trying to out-holy Elizabeth or the fact that she just used the word 'espouses' in a sentence - who the hell is this woman, anyway? To break the awkwardness, Ben introduces a whole new set of it. "Umm, Cinnamon, you're - ahem - showing," he remarks. Indeed, her top wasn't on straight, and one more people got to see what Cinnamon's last girlfriend got her for Christmas two years ago - yes, they're princess-cut diamonds normally found in engagement rings. And yes, she's wearing them where they think she is. The obvious joke that a bunch of horny guys just tuned into the Live Feeds for this is averted, as Cinnamon politely adjusts her top - only to have the same problem on the other side before she looks up at the jar of peanut butter on the middle shelf. Wait a minute, she thinks. If these won't hold up on their own...maybe they just need a little assistance. Maybe later, she thinks, as she heads upstairs to get a new top, overhearing the conversation from the sauna room. "Have you been born again?" Predictably, this is how she opens her conversation. Maybe something open-ended might work better, like, say, 'What would you say to an easy chance to earn two hundred bucks?' The voice in the sauna room is all too familiar, shouting back, "Leave me alone!" At least she's trying to convert him into something other than an ex-houseguest. ----------------------------------------------------------- Living Room, Day 7 ----------------------------------------------------------- Taylor takes her seat as the last person summoned to the ceremony in which players are chosen to compete for the Power of Veto. A disinterested John and somewhat twitchy Harvey are called to stand next to Cinnamon, who doesn't particularly want to stand next to either of them. John indicates a willingness to pick last as Cinnamon explains the rules. "Only six people will compete for the Power of Veto - the Head of Household, the two nominees, and three other houseguests selected by random draw." For those who haven't been paying attention, that's no change from past seasons. "As Head of Household, I will pick first." Cinnamon reaches into the bag with the players' names on tokens inside - surprisingly, her nails are real, just painted - and she pulls out a name and holds it up, not that anyone can read it. They can see, however, that it is just one line, indicating that Cinnamon didn't get the coveted "Houseguest's Choice" token, only one of which is in the bag. "Elizabeth," she utters, much to her disdain. The born-again Christian from South Carolina refused the Head of Household's offer to pierce her tongue or even her ears. Along with Valerie, Elizabeth has no piercings; Cinnamon, by contrast, has more piercings than all the other houseguests combined - including the men, two of whom have pierced ears. "Harvey, it's your turn," the blonde charmer says to the stubborn cop, who's clad in a Chicago Police Department T-shirt. He reaches in, wastes no time, and pulls out a name. "Ben," he reads, as the young man from Utah, borrowing Jamal's Ole Miss football jersey for the day, takes his place, choosing to stand next to his friend Cinnamon instead of the gruff cop. "John, it's all yours," as Harvey turns it over to John, who would just as soon pick no one. But the fates have conspired to torture him some more. "Houseguest's choice," he grumbles, not sure of who should join him. "Umm, you," he mutters, pointing to Juanita, sitting on the edge of the couch. "Thanks, John, and it's Juanita," she informs him; the other twelve people in the house knew that already. Two pairs of players seem to splinter off from the group, with John and Elizabeth seemingly playing for themselves, if playing at all. At least, in Elizabeth's eyes, it could have been worse - Marcus could be playing. "One more thing, guys," as Cinnamon keeps the ceremony from ending just yet. "I need to pick a host for the competition. Valerie, if you'll do the honors," and the Texan accepts. Now everyone can go back to their lives - sure, on TV, the veto competition immediately follows, but in the real world, they have to wait another 24 hours.   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode... Colonel Zoidberg 05-26-10 1  Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode... Colonel Zoidberg 05-26-10 2  Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode... Colonel Zoidberg 05-26-10 3  Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode... Colonel Zoidberg 05-26-10 4    RE: Big Brother: Secret Mission Epi... kingfish 06-04-10 5

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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 05-26-10, 10:05 PM (EST) 1. "Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode 3 - "Wait, We Can't Go In There"" ----------------------------------------------------------- Head of Household Room, Day 7 ----------------------------------------------------------- "It's your week; I'll do whatever you want me to do with the veto if I win it. But I have to tell you," Ben prepared to inform Cinnamon, "it looks like we'll be leaving them the same. Who do you want to go? Anyone?" "I don't really care one way or another," insists Cinnamon. "John, Harvey, or that snotty bitch Juanita needs to go. I'm not ready to piss off the God Squad just yet." "I'm torn," interjects Valerie. "On one hand, the sooner John's out of the house, the better. On the other hand, Harvey's more of a threat." "You never know who's a threat in this house, though; that's the thing." Cinnamon hearkens back to Dan of Season 10, who was virtually worthless in the beginning while potential power player Brian was axed right away. The next thing everyone knows, Dan starts cracking heads at final seven, and he runs away with the game. "Yeah, but who's this season's Dan?" asks Ben, clearly hoping people think it isn't him. Cinnamon's out - she won HoH too soon. "Elizabeth, maybe?" "There are a few parallels," replies Giovanna, who doesn't mind getting close to Jamal. "Both of them are weaklings this early on, and both are very religious. And both are teachers." Well, Elizabeth teaches Sunday school and a few Bible Study classes, but nothing to take her away from her role as a housewife. That's her first job - at least her first earthly job. "And both probably need the money." "Now, hold that thought," as Valerie gets ready for a Texas-size rant. "Dan coached and taught - nothing glamorous, but he probably wasn't exactly eating out of garbage cans for lack of money. And do you really thing Elizabeth's husband is that poor? She said she's giving all her winnings to her church." "What are you saying?" asks Cameron. "That she'll just get it all back?" "Tax-free, I might add," laughs Valerie. "She'll call it a charitable donation, write every penny off, and then they'll funnel it back down to her in whatever way possible." "You don't go to church much, do you, Val?" asks Cinnamon, who's surprised that someone has a more cynical view of Christianity than an adult film star. "Like you do," the Texan snipes back. "OK, so churches aren't exactly places where I can go to recruit new film stars, but I've been a few times." Ben can barely control his shock. "And yes, I dressed nicely, too. I can clean up pretty well - cover up these tattoos, the piercings, you name it." She swears she owns a nice black dress with matching heels - she's more of a flip-flop girl most of the time, however - and that, when she wears it, people don't know anything except her ears are pierced. "That's crazy, girl," Valerie interjects. "But yeah, you got me there. I haven't been to church in so long I can't even tell you who the pastor is where I go." Giovanna seconds that - neither she nor Jamal are churchgoers. She's always busy on weekends anyway, making sandwiches. Why she moved down to Miami for a career in a deli hasn't crossed her lips yet - just a few comments about the recession and how she really wants to work in public relations for an NFL team. "I hope we can continue this conversation over a bath, guys; I need to relax a bit." Cinnamon's words include a subtle 'And the cameras will briefly catch me naked' that anyone in the house not named John could catch. "Suffice it to say, if I win the veto, I'm not using it, and you can vote however you want." "Fine with me," smiles Ben, who avoids voicing his disappointment with the fact that the house's number-one exhibitionist is a lesbian. ----------------------------------------------------------- Pantry, Day 8 ----------------------------------------------------------- "I don't care what the competition is," demands Jason. "You have to win it." "I know," declares a nervous Elizabeth. "I just hope it's nothing I'm no good at." "You have to win, and I know you can. Think positive. Get excited." Jason could start screaming any minute - loud, enthusiastic pep talks are his style. "Think about it - this isn't that hard. You're up against John, and he doesn't care." "What do I do with the veto if I win--" "Don't use it, whatever you do," demands Jason unequivocally. "Jason's right, Elizabeth," interjects Taylor. "Keep us off the block." The worst case for Taylor? Juanita wins it. As cute and perky as she is, she fears she's going up - Jamal's in Cinnamon's pocket. "Got it." Elizabeth starts jumping up and down, not used to psyching herself up. "God is with me," she repeats several times. "The wicked will destroy each other, and as the righteous, I will remain standing." She's not sure where she's getting this, but it keeps flowing. "Good, good," coaches Jason. "Keep it up. Keep everything up. You have to get energetic - get fired up, Elizabeth! You got this!" She starts throwing a few fake punches, bouncing up and down like a boxer, not knowing what the other houseguests are doing to prepare - Harvey's probably sitting on his butt chewing gum, John's probably asleep, and Cinnamon's...well, Elizabeth doesn't want to think about that. ----------------------------------------------------------- Backyard, Day 8 ----------------------------------------------------------- Six players enter the battlefield in the backyard - and this time, it actually looks like a battlefield. All six players are wearing full paintball gear, including goggles, a helmet, and chest protectors. Cinnamon's already cracked a joke about this being the only way she'll get fully dressed. Valerie, however, is looking to be high above the action, and is dressed in her normal clothes, right down to the Austin EMS T-shirt. No stray paintballs are coming her way. To be heard, she speaks into a microphone. "Welcome to the Big Brother Battle Royale!" she declares, being the only other houseguest permitted to watch - the other seven are sequestered inside, with Marcus probably thankful he doesn't have to witness this spectacle. "Today, you will take part in a game of paintball, with one rule, and that is to be the last houseguest standing!" Of course, that's not really the only rule; it never is. Every player has a different color of paintballs and a limited supply, so it's clearly an individual game; with six people, they could theoretically go three-on-three, but then two could gang up on one, virtually eliminating an unwanted player from winning the veto, or they could go with three teams of two and do ten-paces-and-turn for the POV for the winning team. "Houseguests, here's how it works." Valerie's booming Texan voice raining down over the six contenders. "It's every player for themselves out here - and the object is to stay in the game. If someone hits you with a paint ball, you're out. The last person who hasn't been hit wins the Power of Veto." "A few additional rules." Again, of course. "Head shots count, but face shots do not. If you hit someone in the face, you are out and the other player stays in. Also, you can use any of the hiding places, but if you're in one for longer than ninety seconds, a horn will sound, telling everyone where you are. You have to deactivate the horn before you can shoot, and you can be shot while the horn's going off. If you shoot someone while the horn's going off on you, you're out and the other player stays in. Does everyone understand?" Yes, but we're not sure John was paying attention. It takes about three minutes for everyone to find a good starting point - everyone starts with 20 paint balls and can find additional cartridges lying around. But if they're the wrong color, they can't use them - each player has two additional cartridges. Anyone careless enough to run out of all three is eliminated right away. "Everyone in their places," shouts Valerie, despite the fact that she can't find Elizabeth. "On your mark...get set..." "...go!" The first to emerge is Ben, who obviously hasn't watched a lot of cop movies - never make the first move. Next out of their hiding spot? Juanita, who chose the largest rock-like hiding spot. The clock is ticking, of course, so movement will be forced. The first shot is fired - a fire-orange blast headed straight for Ben. Fortunately for him, it smacks against the rock - splatter doesn't count any more than odd bits of tiny shrapnel kill people. Ben takes the second shot right back at her - but misses wide. Accuracy was never his strong suit - insert virgin joke here. Having never played paintball before, he figures he can keep this charade up all day. Not everyone agrees, though - next out of her hiding place? Elizabeth, oddly enough chosen by her arch-nemesis, the head of Household. Also oddly enough, both ladies want the same thing this week. Not oddly enough, the first hit of the game is recorded - a purple splatter against Elizabeth's backside. This time, though, the splatter indicates a direct hit, and Elizabeth joins the ranks of the civilians - anyone hitting an already-defeated player, even on accident, is out of the game and gets a stern talking-to in the Diary Room. Unfortunately for her, she has to climb a rope ladder up to Valerie's deck - fortunately for her, Marcus is inside the house, so there's no recoiling in horror. Cinnamon, who recorded the game's first kill, emerges from her hiding place and finds another, this one already occupied by Ben. She nudges him out - about seventy-five seconds in - and he opens fire in Juanita's direction, thinking ninety seconds has to have elapsed. She's not moving, though, and all the shots - nine in total - splash down without hitting a single target. As ninety seconds elapse, though, an alarm does go off while Harvey and Juanita leisurely swap spaces, Ben and Cinnamon calculating the right time to take them down - as the game turns into two-on-two with an annoying horn going off. Turns out that John, from whom the game has heard very little, is now in a defenseless position for anyone who wants him. It's well-known in the house that he has no desire to win the veto, preferring to stay on the block and do everything in his power to get evicted, but he's above face shots and firing while the horn's going off. At least that's what he said - to anyone who might have been paying attention, anyway. Ben's time to leave his hiding place comes up - about ten seconds too soon, proving that Ben never learned how to count off ninety seconds - and shortly after, out comes Cinnamon, both headed for that damn horn. Might as well go for the easy kill and then focus on the tag team of the cop and the rocket scientist. The horn goes silent, however, as John emerges, brandishing a paintball gun with yellow cartridges, as if ready and willing to take down the twosome atop the house. In a split second, John's gun is pointed to Ben, as both Ben and Cinnamon focus on John. The world seems to slow down, and any commentary by Valerie sounds as if it's gone through slow-motion. That or the houseguests think this is some kind of action movie - and it sort of is, so where's the God-from-the-machine ending to this conflict along with a snappy, Lethal Weapon-inspired snappy line? No shots have been fired in this second that feels like an eternity, though Cinnamon's the only one ready to draw. However, she never gets the chance - a blue paint ball takes her down by the left knee as she drops to her knees and doubles over in sharp pain. Two more thuds join her on the ground as John and Ben, neither of whom got a shot off - Cinnamon's purple shot went side - are both taken down by a pair of blue rockets to the chest and left shoulder, respectively. "Damnit!" declares Cinnamon, grabbing her knee in pain as Ben helps her up; hopping on one foot with some assistance, she starts making her way with him to the ladder when it sinks in - Harvey's coming off the block. "Damnit to hell, what happened?" A string of more profanities follows that one, some words making even sailor-mouthed Valerie blush, and Cinnamon becomes even more agitated when she learns that she can't smoke on the platform - but at least she can look on happily at the results. Emerging from his hiding place, Harvey is taken down by a speeding orange paint ball - and the other non-aligned player wins the veto. This pleases Cinnamon at first, knowing Harvey can't take himself off the block - until he walks over and gives the victorious Juanita a high-five. An obscenity slips off Cinnamon's tongue as she opines, "Now I'll have to piss off the God Squad, unless one of us wants to go up." Ben didn't exactly volunteer. "Don't look at me," snaps Elizabeth. "Just make sure she doesn't use the damn thing." A bit of a hard look coming from Valerie - Elizabeth isn't known for dropping the word "damn" into sentences lightly - and then silence as Ben begins the trek downward toward a joyous Juanita. ----------------------------------------------------------- Head of Household Room, Day 8 ----------------------------------------------------------- "Well, we're in trouble," groans Ben, looking at the gorgeous Head of Household, who's not taking it as hard as he is. "Look, it's not that bad. One of us needs to talk Juanita into not using the veto." Cinnamon seemed to be accenting the words 'one of us' when talking to Ben. "What...you think I should do it?" Ben stumbles even over those words. "I'm not the most persuasive person, you know." "Well, it can't be me," she laments. "Juanita hates me, and to be honest, I don't have much use for her." At this point, in walks Giovanna in all her glory - form-fitting cutoffs and a bikini top. "Hey, sexy; come join us," invites the stripper-turned-adult-film-star, clearly unable to take her eyes off a few choice body parts. "I just got done talking to Juanita," Giovanna joins in. "I did get one small concession out of her." Clearly meaning that she's using the veto. "I got her to try on one of the bikinis I brought." "Well, if that's the good news..." Cinnamon trails off but then slaps her thigh, ready to take any small victory she can. "I'll take it. She might be an ice queen, but at least I'll get the chance to--" "OK, calm down," interjects Ben, surprisingly the voice of morality. "If any of us want to stay in the house past next week, we need to figure out how to get around this." "Here's the problem," pipes in Giovanna, the Staten Island accent apparent. "If we put up one of us, that person's going home. Harvey and Juanita both votes that person out, and all it takes is four of the five God Squad people to vote that person out." "True," chimes in Cinnamon, "but I know neither of those two gives a rat's ass about John. The question is," with a dramatic pause, "which of the God Squad players goes up?" "And please don't pick," scolds Giovanna, "based on who looks best in a bikini," a remark that draws laughter from Cinnamon. "Of course not, babe," she assures the deli owner. "Besides, I'd rather judge them based on how they look out of a bikini." "Hmph," grunts Ben. "If that was your judging criteria, I would think Jason goes up. And he's just annoying enough that we can get him out this week." "You know," smirks Giovanna, "you do have a good point. We can attack the God Squad right now and get one of them out. We have the votes, you know. Val, Jamal, and Cameron will all do it; that's five right there." "Ummm, you do know we need six to get him out, right?" corrects Ben, the eternal skeptic. "So?" laughs Cinnamon, derisively. "That's what Harvey and Juanita are for. They think Jason's as much of an asshole as we do." "OK, then it's settled. As long as we get Harvey and Juanita to agree to vote Jason off," concludes Ben, rubbing his hands together, "then he goes." "And we listen to John moan and groan for another week," laughs Giovanna, clearly unconcerned about the 14th member of the house.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 05-26-10, 10:09 PM (EST) 2. "Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode 3 - "Wait, We Can't Go In There"" ----------------------------------------------------------- Living Room, Day 8 ----------------------------------------------------------- "The damn thing jammed!" shouts an angry John at whatever camera will listen - the first two he shouted into turned away from his angry outburst. "The gun jammed! I couldn't get a shot off! That veto is mine!" Sure, no one's sure why the stock trader's that worked up about losing the veto; they're pretty sure he never wanted it to begin with. So why now? Why the ranting at the cameras? Why the insistence that he got shafted at the veto competition? "My gun didn't fire!" True, he never got a shot off. "John, you wouldn't have--" "Shut up, bitch!" John taking down Juanita with three cold words. Sure, her logic is sound - Harvey took all three of them down in succession, including John, so regardless of whether or not he got a shot off, he wouldn't have won - but remember, she's dealing with John. Juanita throws up her hands and walks away as John continues his tirade. "Give me the veto!" At this point, he repeats the phrase, only with a few choice words thrown in - and then he gets a crazy idea. He dashes to the kitchen, moving faster and with more zip than he has all season, and grabs a pot and a pan. Clanging them together, he begins his chant - "Give! Me! The Veto! Give! Me! The Veto!" His walk is reminiscent of a wind-up monkey playing the cymbals...well, at least if that wind-up monkey had a love child with an Oompa Loompa. The chant continues, forcing everyone in the vicinity to cover their ears. Into the pantry he continues, clanging the pan, a black, Teflon-covered wok, with a stainless-steel pot used to boil pasta, continuing his ever-annoying chant to no one in particular. This time, however, he has a live audience - Giovanna and Harvey are sitting and talking, as they have been for about 20-30 minutes. The chant of "Give! Me! The Veto!" interrupts the conversation as John blows the door wide open, forcing Giovanna to cover her ears but causing Harvey to do nothing more than sit with a dumb look on his face. Harvey appears to mouth the words "Will you shut the hell up?" but they seem to have no voice; John's cymbal-playing, reminiscent of Evel Dick's march through the house in Season 8, drowns out any other noise in the room, if not the entire house. Giovanna gets up to leave the room - but as she does, John blocks her path, as if to use the cymbals as a weapon. The producers had threatened John that, if he commits a single act of violence, he's not only out of the Big Brother house, but he'll go to jail. This includes another Evel Dick-inspired move - throwing a drink at someone. That doesn't seem to be stopping him from blocking Giovanna, who's practically gone temporarily deaf, from leaving. Harvey stares blankly at John, who's continuing the charade and hasn't stopped shouting - and with one quick move, he grabs the wok and pulls it from John's hand, and he sits down on top of it, folding his arms and staring again at the frustrated stock trader. John's response, however, is more decisive - it's back to the cameras. "That's an act of violence!" he declares to any camera that would listen. "That's violence! He attacked me! Get him out of here!" At this point, John makes a beeline for the Diary Room, as if to take on his next mission. "To answer your question, Giovanna," Harvey breaks the silence, "there's no way in hell I'm not voting to evict that jackass." "Well, all right," she mutters, figuring Juanita's in his pocket, and even she wants John out if for no other reason than that headache medicine isn't endless. ----------------------------------------------------------- Diary Room, Night 8 ----------------------------------------------------------- Backstage, the host is in prep while Juanita, who has been summoned to the Diary Room, waits anxiously. Other than the brief exchange on the first night, Juanita hasn't spoken to her ex-boyfriend in ten years, and when she broke up with him, she didn't think she would ever speak to him again. She certainly didn't think the next time she spoke to him would be on a date - on a nationally-televised show. As she waits in anticipation, Rex is just a few minutes from starting the date, and by rule, it lasts pretty much as long as he wants and it goes as he pleases. Sure, they communicate through a video screen, but it's as close to contact with the outside world as anyone in the house is usually permitted. "You're ready to begin whenever you want," says the production worker - no name seems to be given or necessary - to Rex, who's dressed in a dark-blue suit with a light-blue button-down. No tie, of course - the bastard producer tried to make him wear one but he wouldn't hear of it. If Jeff Probst doesn't have to wear a damn tie, neither does he. "One more thing, though - before you start, we need your dinner order. Keep in mind, she eats whatever you eat." Barring food allergies, of course - Juanita's allergic to garlic, a fact that Rex found out in high school by pure accident. Rex takes a sip of carbonated water as he turns to the man carrying a notepad similar to the ones used by waiters in restaurants. That bit about Juanita's allergy? Won't be important. "Slop," he says. "Cold." He whips out his cell phone - a G1 with a keyboard - and begins to enter something into his phone. Not sure who he's texting, the order-taker stands with a raised eyebrow. "And tell the chef his services won't be needed for this part of the show from now on. Every Sunday night, I'll be eating the same thing." Yes, Sundays are date nights for Rex and Juanita, if only because it's written in Rex's contract and it gives Juanita a diversion from the idiots in the house for as long as Rex chooses to keep her company. As the phone goes dark, Rex walks over to the camera, preparing to begin his seventh date in seven nights. Ah, to be a man who can't get a date. "Hey, Rex," chimes in the pleasant voice of the Nicaraguan on the other side of the video screen - she got dressed up or the occasion, putting on a silky red top with no sleeves and doing her hair up. "How have you been?" "Like you care," fires back a clearly-upset Rex. "I'm tired, my pants don't fit right, and my girlfriend got murdered by my asshole cousin who's being defended by the Aryan Asshole Brigade. Anything else you want to know, you stuck-up bitch?" "Well, that was a lot less vicious than I expected." Juanita doesn't seem to have lost her smile, at least. "OK, I deserved that. Now can we talk? By the way, what's for dinner? I know we have time before it comes, but--" "Should be here any minute." Rex taps his fingers as the covered dish comes through the wall into the Diary Room. Juanita, licking her lips, grabs it in anticipation, hoping for that lime chicken and rice that Rex always knew was her favorite dish. She lifts the lid - and instantly her face sinks. As if someone forced the skin downward. "Enjoy," he snipes, as he gets up from the chair and leaves. "Rex, what the hell?" to no one in particular, as a string of apologies falls on deaf ears. Trying to keep herself composed, she mutters, "Don't cry, Juanita," if for no other reason than that she'll end up on YouTube for long enough to generate about a million hits - which, coincidentally, is long enough for CBS to yank it down. As Juanita is left to anguish - hey, he could have let her have warm slop with cinnamon, her all-time favorite topping (a fact that the Head of Household has used in twenty-seven dirty jokes and counting this season) - Rex bolts for the door. "Date's over, gentlemen. Let's get the hell out of here." Rex seems to have no interest in anything but what's on his cell. "But what about--" "I'm sure you'll all get paid for the full four hours, people." That or they can just work later in the week to make it up - sure, Big Brother is the cheapest show under the sun, but they'll let people get in their full forty hours. Right? Even his boss can't stop him on the way out - not when he's switched from texting to voice, and from the first words out of his mouth, everyone else there is out of sight and out of mind. "Jasmine. Rex. Let's do Italian tonight." As if no one at CBS is listening to him blow off Juanita for another woman. "You better not be using the credit card for that dinner!" is all the boss can manage - someone dropped out of negotiating school. As the call ends, Rex turns to him and retorts, "At least I know you don't look through my phone. She says it's her treat. Now get lost." ----------------------------------------------------------- Blue Room, Night 8 ----------------------------------------------------------- "So what happens after Harvey comes down off the block?" Taylor asks Edward, as though it's a foregone conclusion that the veto runner-up is coming down. After all, he did take out three competitors, so the argument can be made that he deserves to stay. Besides, he's the only ally Juanita has in the house. "One of us goes up." It's as simple as that for Edward. "It's just for the best that it not be one of us." "What if we got them to put one of their own up?" Sure, Taylor's not saying anything that hasn't been kicked around by the opposing alliance, but at least it hasn't been exhausted by the God Squad. "Like that's going to happen. And I doubt it's going to make any difference; everyone wants John out." Edward seems to be saying what he can to convince Taylor - if not himself - that the God Squad isn't going anywhere. "Cinnamon hates Elizabeth most. I'm guessing she goes first." Edward and Taylor don't notice, but Ben has slipped into the room - the other God Squad members are scattered throughout the house trying to save their own skins. "I'm tired," mutters Taylor, fluttering her eyes. "Why don't you go smooth things over with Cinnamon and we'll keep ourselves off the block in the morning?" As a happily married man, Edward sees no subtext in what Taylor is saying.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 05-26-10, 10:13 PM (EST) 3. "Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode 3 - "Wait, We Can't Go In There"" ----------------------------------------------------------- Backyard, Night 8 ----------------------------------------------------------- "Keep going, Ben! You can do it!" Cinnamon coaches her student as loudly and enthusiastically as possible as Cameron and Jamal relax on the lawn furniture. Jamal, shirtless, is letting his eyes wander a bit; Cameron, however, is focused on the well-developed student opposite her. "I don't know what you ever saw in Taylor," smiles Cameron, somewhat amorously. "She's a snake. She's nothing but trouble." "I know," replies a somewhat disinterested Jamal, taking a drag from his ninth cigarette of the day - pleased that he's managing to cut back to a half-pack a day. "I guess I understand why you cheated," Cameron continues, oblivious to the fact that he's playing along with Taylor's game. "If I were dating her, I'd cheat, too. She's just annoying, and the way she dresses--" "Can we talk about something other than Taylor for five minutes?" interjects a frustrated Jamal, clearly taking aback Cameron and wiping the smile off her face. "I'm not worried about it. I did what I did. End of story." "OK," she mutters. "So what are you studying at school?" "Emergency management," he replies. "I'll be the one who coordinates responses to disasters, anything from small things like house fires to water main breaks to another 9/11. I'll be the guy who does all the work while a sheriff or mayor gets all the credit." "Wow," shoots back Cameron, flipping her hair. "I hope a job like that pays well." "It does," he laughs. "But I'd rather be out helping and not just coordinating. I know, it sounds like I have some kind of hero complex, but I don't." "Sure you don't," she laughs, as he inhales on his cigarette again. "A big, strong firefighter out pulling people out of floods." What follows this is a poor attempt at a tiger-growl, one that elicits a chuckle out of the stoic Jamal. She moves from a chair opposite Jamal to the double-seated lawn chair next to him, ignoring the cigarette in his left hand and Cinnamon's encouragement of Ben in the background on an exercise bike. Somewhat disinterested in the blonde next to him, Jamal takes another drag as the back door opens, as he eyes Elizabeth walking out to the backyard. "OK, kids, break it up," she commands of Cameron and Jamal. "Save it for marriage." "Oh, give it a rest," shoots back Cameron, more interested in the shirtless guy next to her, at whom Elizabeth will not look. "And put this on, Jamal," demands the born-again Christian, who likened a married woman seeing a guy with his shirt off - even accidentally - to adultery. Cameron picks up the shirt - one of Jamal's, that Elizabeth grabbed from a dresser with the express purpose of making him put one on - and tosses it out of the way, laughing as it unfortunately lands in the hot tub. "Now he'll have to wear a wet T-shirt," she laughs, as an unamused Elizabeth looks away, headed back inside. "That's a treat for me." "And put that cigarette out, young man; it's bad for you, and God doesn't like smoking," scolds the Sunday school teacher. "I used to smoke back when I was a sinner, but Christ gave me the power to--" "Did Christ give you the power to shut up?" demands Cameron, as Jamal sits silently, putting out his cigarette - tempted to light another just to annoy Elizabeth. "Listen here, young woman. My job here is to spread the good word of Christ." Not a pause in her words, and several raised hands to cut off Cameron as she prepared to speak. "I expect every person in this house to be born again in Christ because of my work. And I'm starting with the two of you." "Good luck with that," dismisses Cameron. "Come on, Jamal; let's head upstairs. I have a few things I'd like to try with you." Jamal follows, if only to get away from Elizabeth. Ben's toweling off from an extended workout and limping off the exercise bike with stiff muscles - and no shirt on, either. "Go put Jamal's shirt on, Ben," demands Elizabeth. "Sorry, ma'am," he replies, "but I just got dried off." "Does anyone in this house wear a shirt? Ever?" shouts Elizabeth in pure frustration - even Edward was spotted shirtless many times. "I'm living in a house of harlots! This has to stop!" Cinnamon and Ben laugh as they head inside while Elizabeth continues to shout and proselytize to no one in particular. "At least you're wearing a top!" cries out Elizabeth to Cinnamon, who's in her trademark g-string. Cinnamon's reply? No words, just a quick trip to a makeshift shower-like device in the backyard, under which she stands for about a minute as her midriff and legs begin to turn unusual colors - and after a quick dry-off, she winks at Elizabeth, and utters two words sure to set off a hell storm: "Body paint." She wraps her arm around Ben and kisses him on the cheek as she saunters back into the house topless, expecting a stern warning from the Voice of God - strangely, receiving none. Record numbers of Live Feed buyers will do that. In the background, Elizabeth seems to be speaking in tongues, looking for incense or a snake, and shouting out any prayer she can conjure up. For once, the house needs split-screen - one for the people watching the topless sexpot showing off two more piercings and a hard-to-make-out tattoo on the inside of her left breast, and one for the South Carolina native whose meltdown will almost certainly reach the top of YouTube very shortly. A minute later, the inevitable question is asked, completely squashing any debate online: "What's that a tattoo of?" Giovanna, predictably, does the honor of asking. "Oh, that?" replies the adult film star, pointing to the one she just revealed fully. "Yeah," replies the deli owner. "I thought your girlfriend's name was Candy. So who's Nancy Marshall?" "That," she replies, "would be my mother." And to think, the most titillating houseguest in Big Brother history's tattoo on the inside of her breast is a tribute to her mother - who, as the house knows, has been dead since Cinnamon was 6. She never changed her last name when she got married, more to honor her father than maintain her own identity. "I got the tattoo here because it's close to my heart." Both Ben and Giovanna are tearing up a bit - far from the typical reaction to a well-endowed topless woman, and Giovanna seems to be well-aware of that fact - and she goes on to explain that any ring she buys with a stone has at least one ruby in it - her mom's birthstone. The exception is the one on her left ring finger, which is for Candy - a sapphire. "Does that count, then," asks Giovanna, "these two stones?" "You mean those things have rings in them?" asks Ben, obviously trying to make the other ladies laugh - and he succeeds. As the laughter dies down, the appreciation for Cinnamon's sentimental side seems to be subsiding, as Cinnamon borrows Giovanna's tank top to cover herself. As she puts it on, the thumping high heels of a mischievous houseguest get louder and louder. "Hey, guys," interjects Taylor. "Looking good, Ben. Have you lost weight?" Not shy about contact, Taylor wedges herself as close to a shirtless Ben as possible. "You know, Taylor," laughs Cinnamon, "if you want to avoid going up, you should sleep with me instead." "Who said anything about sleeping with anyone?" retorts Taylor, smoothly. "I think someone here's looking for something she can't have." Taylor feels the need to declare that she's straight - further frustrating Cinnamon, the only female in the house who is openly attracted to the same sex. "You know, if this keeps up, I'll have to switch-hit for a day," jokes Cinnamon, who claims she's never been interested in guys. "For now, I'll get by with the chance to annoy Elizabeth. Speaking of which...I won't be needing this," she snaps, flinging off the tank top and returning it to its rightful owner, who's in jean shorts and a bra. Topless once again, she heads back to the backyard, and Giovanna heads to her room to put the top away. Taylor looks Ben over, grinning. "I guess that just leaves you and me, then," she soothes, not shy about grabbing Ben. "I hope your friend has fun. That gives us a little privacy for a while." Grabbing his hand, she directs him upstairs - in her haste to remove her top, Cinnamon dropped her Head of Household key, and the leather-clad vixen picked it up. "Wait, we can't go in there--" Taylor silences Ben as the camera operators watch her open the door to Cinnamon's girl-cave. As she slides in with her latest catch, Edward watches in stunned silence from the outside. And then she comes back in - Elizabeth, who just ruined Cameron's evening, is on a warpath. "Everyone gather around the table! I have something everyone needs to hear!" Marcus springs into action; Edward saunters down as if to make sure she remains at the table. Juanita joins the fray out of curiosity more than anything else; the ones not joining? John, who's in the pantry, and Harvey, who's lying on the couch reading the Bible - to kill time, more than anything, that is; the house knows he's an atheist. Besides, if he's reading the Bible, Elizabeth might think he's on the right path. Also noticeably absent? Ben and Taylor. Though no one inside the house was keeping time, Elizabeth stormed in about a minute and a half after the HoH bedroom door shut with the two of them inside, and it took about twelve minutes to gather everyone up and begin speaking. However, to notice that only nine of the other 13 houseguests were present? Another four or so minutes. "Where in the world are Ben and Taylor?" she demands, almost cutting off her pro-God speech to do so. "What could the two of them possibly be doing?" Only one person knows, and he's not talking. "They have to be around here someplace," answers Edward, the only person aware of where that 'someplace' is. "One of the bedrooms or the backyard. That or the steam room. Maybe Ben's trying to melt off those pounds." "Hey now," interjects Cinnamon, who's shed her bottoms by now, "I have him on a very strict regiment. No steam rooms. At least for now." "Did you let him in your room?" asks Elizabeth. "No," she replies, noticing that Elizabeth won't look directly at her or the previously undiscovered tats. "I keep the key with me, and if Ben decides to go in there to take a nap or shower, he always asks me. I keep it right here around my--damnit." Noticing that, along with her clothes, her key is gone. "Where did you have it last?" demands Elizabeth. "Ummm...I don't know. I had it when I came back in here after I showered off my body paint." She saw a bit of yellow paint on the key. "I don't know where it went." "Were Ben and Taylor with you when you had--" "That's it," declares the nude blonde in a 'eureka' moment. "Ben has it. No big deal. He's probably just keeping it for me. I'll go up and get it--" "In a bit," replies Edward. "Let's hear Elizabeth out first." "I'm not hearing anyone out," laughs the film star. "I don't have time for this. I need those two out of my room." Cutting off Elizabeth's attempt at rebuttal - Elizabeth commands Cinnamon's full attention, something she's never given the born-again - the unclothed Head of Household marches up the stairs to her bedroom, ready just to slide in quietly. And of course, Taylor thought one step ahead and locked the door. With no key, no plan, and no way to her bed, she stands outside the HoH door, pounding on it. Her pounds are seemingly answered by another pound - her headboard against the wall. She pounds her head against the door in frustration after crying out to Ben to open the door, to no avail, and finally, she walks away. Harvey takes one look at her slinking down the stairs in defeat. Not wanting to hear from him, she ignores his taunt: "The Empress has no clothes." ----------------------------------------------------------- Blog Entry, 7/14/2009 Authored by: Rex Majors, stillaliveandkicking ----------------------------------------------------------- Wow. Eight dates in eight nights. And two more to go. And to think I've only made one cut. It would have been two, but, well, the producers decided I have to keep Juanita until she's out of the house. Whatever. I have nothing to say about her. I do have a lot to say about one of my dates - the other two I'm keeping, but only because I feel weird cutting more than maybe one person in the opening week. Jeanette's a nice woman, and she sounds really smart, but it's hard to be on a date with a woman whose son is older than I am. Seriously - I'm only 28, and her son's 32. Apparently he's a lot like her when she was young - married, hard-working, no desire for kids. I should add that Jeanette spent 15 years as a single mother. Neither she nor Chrissy had ever seen Big Brother, so there wasn't much to discuss in the way of the show. It's fine; once in a while, I like to talk about something other than work, so I got to listen to Chrissy talk about this nursing program that she's in. Sounds brutal - I don't deal too well with bodily fluids. Somehow it didn't bother me too much when Carrie died, but I'm still not sure if any of that actually happened. I suppose I could fly home and visit her grave, but right now I don't really have time, and if I don't bring up my dead girlfriend on a first date, it keeps my dates - especially Chrissy, who's been in an on-again, off-again relationship for about five years - from bringing up hers. The hardest night to avoid bringing her up, though, was last night - simply because my date's name was also Carrie. Like my last Carrie, this one was beautiful, charming, and confident - and actually told me to loosen up. Must be the name - this Carrie looks nothing like my late girlfriend. She's raven-haired, stands about 5'5", and could be described as "cute." She also doesn't object to that description the way I do - no one used it and got away with it. Except for one person, whose name shall not be spoken. Carrie. There, I said it. I haven't seen the Live Feeds in a day or so, but from what I've seen, going on Big Brother is the best decision Ben's ever made - and the worst decision Marcus has ever made. Marcus spent most of the evening crying in his room, refusing to let anyone talk to him - even Elizabeth. Not sure if this is for America's Vote or what. Also, he's petrified of birds, as we've just found out. Sure, he's afraid of most animals - but this is worse than Osten. And funnier. They're cockatiels. On the other hand, Ben's having the time of his life - having Taylor looking to remove his pants and do things to him can have that effect, you know. Sure, she's using him, and she's trying to keep both him and Jamal on a leash, but hey, it's better than living with his mother. I haven't seen this level of child-like wonder on anyone's face since...well, Erik in Survivor: Dopes vs. DAWS...I mean, Fans vs. Favorites. A bunch of leftover castaways who weren't taken in All-Stars II, and Erik still gave away the necklace. Maybe Ben will do something as ridiculously stupid. I wonder what would happen if we did a Fans vs. Favorites season...hmm. For one thing, I think we'll need 24/7 security if Evel Dick plays with Cinnamon. ----------------------------------------------------------- Head of Household Room, Night 8 ----------------------------------------------------------- "So, how does it feel not to be a virgin anymore?" asks Taylor, who's snuggled up next to Ben, her latest conquest. She slips him a kiss on the lips and then on the neck, turning her head almost backward to do so. Continuing to lay in the spoons position, Taylor tells Ben, "Your parents are probably pissed right about now." Ben doesn't say anything - Taylor doesn't know the half of it, and even Cinnamon doesn't know about Ben's controlling mother - but he laughs a bit, a little nervous. Sure, they used protection, but given the quality of said protection, they might as well not have. It held up, but there's always the fact that Taylor kept it in her shoe, clearly planning to seduce Ben. "So what kind of girl keeps a condom in her shoe?" asks Ben, curiously. "The kind of girl who isn't carrying a purse and doesn't have pockets," she replies - that part was true; her skirt didn't have any pockets, and she only packed one pair of actual pants. Ben guesses those pants don't have pockets - and he guesses right. "How come you never wear jeans?" he asks her. "You would look really nice in them." "Come on now," she shoots back. "You went for me in the leather skirt, didn't you?" "And what if I hadn't?" shoots back the somewhat-nervous former virgin. "What if I decided I didn't want to lose my virginity to a leather-wearing girl in the Big Brother house?" Granted, Ben isn't shy at this point about wanting to lose his virginity in the house, but this is the first time he's told anyone. God forbid he tell Cinnamon - who, despite her outlandish behavior and tendency to picture Ben with several of her friends in the 'industry,' as she calls her trade, still sees Ben as more of a younger brother. "You know," asks a devilish Taylor, who turns on a small light, "we have the key and the room to ourselves." And about a 99% chance of getting a stern talking-to by the producers. "I think I'll go take a bath in your girl's tub, and maybe we can go again later." This time, still fixated on Ben. "And that's not just an invitation to join me. I insist." ----------------------------------------------------------- Living Room, Night 8 ----------------------------------------------------------- "So what now? The show's over?" jokes Harvey to a now-covered Cinnamon, who's borrowing a bathrobe. Clearly she's not amused - perhaps if someone in her alliance, which still has yet to be named, cracked that joke, she might go for it. "I need a cigarette," she mutters. "Damned if I didn't leave them in my bedroom." "Here," replies Harvey, amicably. "Try this." He hands her a stick of some particularly strong gum - "This stuff helped me quit," he reminds her, not that she intends to. "Thanks, but there's no way I'm quitting. Life's too short to waste a week giving up something that relaxes me." She nervously chomps on the gum, waiting for Ben or Taylor to open the door to the bedroom so she can put something on and grab her precious smokes. God forbid she borrows from Jason - Newports aren't her brand. "You sound just like my wife," laughs Harvey, continuing to chew hard on his stick of peppermint gum. "I tried for years to stop - went a week without one of those damn cancer sticks - and she broke me down every time." "So what got you off them?" she shoots back. "She's dead," he grunts, as if smoking killed her - it didn't, although the damage report from the school she was at indicates someone's smoking did. "You want to make something of it?" "I never--" "Get the hell out of here," he grumbles. "You won't be head of Household next week. So what if Ben and Taylor went upstairs to do whatever the hell people do around here?" Cinnamon starts to grumble something about how it's her room and she earned it, but it's falling on deaf ears as she storms into the kitchen. ----------------------------------------------------------- Head of Household Room, Night 8 ----------------------------------------------------------- The lights still dimmed, Taylor slinks out of the tub and covers herself with a towel as Ben, who's in his underwear, continues to look her over. "I think we should do this every night, stud boy," coos Taylor, who can't get dry fast enough. "Lock ourselves in this bedroom...you know, your girl Cinnamon's probably pissed as hell downstairs." Ben's too dumbfounded to respond; as much as he wants to make Cinnamon happy, and he's probably risking their friendship with a move like this, he's never had a chance to do anything like this before. Taylor used to lock her parents out of their room when she was home from school if she had a guy over; actually, it was a great way to spend time with the guy she cheated on Jamal with. "Just a shame we can't go again," she sighs. "Unless, you know, you're up for it." "I'm...I'm up for it," replies a nervous Ben, who still hasn't figured out if it was good for the more experienced Taylor. "You're really sexy and I like being--" "Shut up," she scolds. "I make the demands here." Ben likes Taylor's take-charge attitude if only because he has no idea what he's doing. "Now where were we?" "I need to find a condom," interjects Ben. "You said you only had one." "I did," she resigns, and Ben tried Cinnamon's nightstand and dresser earlier - no luck. She slides into his lap - now uncovered completely - planting a kiss on her boy toy. "What the hell," she flips, kissing Ben deeply. "No risk, no reward." A frustrated Cinnamon can only listen from the outside as her number-one ally is enjoying the enemy in her room.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 05-26-10, 10:16 PM (EST) 4. "Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode 3 - "Wait, We Can't Go In There"" ----------------------------------------------------------- Head of Household Room, Day 9 ----------------------------------------------------------- "Look, about last night, that's my bad," Ben tries to reassure Cinnamon, who's visibly upset after sleeping in the cupcake room. "You were completely reckless, Ben," she scolds. "I know you and Taylor wanted some time alone, and that's fine, but if you wanted my room, you could have just asked." "That's just it," he defends. "She had the key. I didn't even know she had it." "You could have stopped her," she continues. "This is my room. I could have you both kicked out for this." She's bluffing, of course, but it's a reminder to Ben - shape up and play a smart game or it's back to Mom's house in Utah. "I'm sorry," he stammers. "I wasn't really thinking. We were just going up there to talk, and Taylor wanted some privacy to take a bath--" "Not buying it," she shuts down. "Just tell me the truth about what you and Taylor did up there and I'll forgive you." "OK," he sighs. "One thing kind of led to another, and, well, I'm not a virgin anymore." "I'm not sure if I should shame you or give you a high-five," she laughs. She chooses to do both - calling him a 'desperate virgin' and saying he's never to sneak into her room without asking again as long as she's HoH. "I'm really sorry, though," he pleads. "I didn't know what was going on, I didn't know you left your clothes here, and I guess...well, I just wasn't thinking." "You're fine," she soothes. "But there is one important matter. Who goes up in place of Harvey?" "Well, it won't be one of us," swears Ben. "Not me, and definitely not Cameron or Jamal--" "Oh, that's right...let's keep what happened last night between us, shall we?" Cinnamon's pained look of concern is apparent. "You just slept with a friend's ex. That's not cool." "It's not?" Clearly knee-jerk from Ben. "Wait, wait, wait. What did I just do? I don't...I don't get it." "Guys don't sleep with their friends' ex-girlfriends. If there's one thing I've learned about guys, other than that married guys don't belong in clubs, it's that." Cinnamon's least-favorite story on the matter involves a guy who came in for a lap dance, which he received, and then ended up getting beaten up by a soon-to-be-ex-friend because the ex-friend was one of Cinnamon's former customers. "Wow," he exclaims. "No wonder you hate guys. That even sounds stupid to me." "I don't hate guys," she insists. "I just don't trust them." Cue a dirty look from Ben. "OK, except for you. And Jamal. And you and Jamal need to smooth things over if he finds out." "OK, gotcha." Says the one guy ever to play Big Brother who can actually pull off the line 'I didn't know it wasn't cool to sleep with an alliance member’s ex' and be telling the truth. "Also, let's keep Edward and Taylor in the house. We need someone to tell us what's going on with the God Squad." "OK, Ben, your bed partner stays." And so does Giovanna's drinking buddy. "That just leaves Elizabeth, Jason, and that weird guy Marcus. Maybe I'll just pick from a hat." "John's going home anyway. Think about it." Ben counts off four votes to keep the God Squad member, including Edward and Taylor - no matter how good it was for Taylor last night, she's voting out John - and two votes from Harvey and Juanita, who can't stand John. "Also, our alliance needs a name." And 'Sovereign Six' is taken. And failed. "I'll get right on both of those," she chuckles. ----------------------------------------------------------- Backyard, Day 9 ----------------------------------------------------------- "It's me going up." The words are direct from Elizabeth's mouth. "And we all have to vote against John." "You have my word," replies Jason, certain of his position in the house - four votes from his alliance plus two votes from the floaters totals six to get rid of John. "Even if it's me, we have the votes. We're staying, and then we can all go on a run getting Head of Household." "Who here is good in challenges?" asks an exasperated Marcus, still unsure of his position but secretly wanting to be put up so he doesn't have to share a spot on the couch with someone. "I know we're all safe. But next time? What if someone from that side wins? I could be going." "Relax, Marcus," insists Jason. "Relax already. Cinnamon and Ben are our biggest threats. I think we should target them next week. You know, before they do it to us." "What about Edward?" asks Elizabeth. "We know there's no way Cinnamon's putting up Taylor because she acts like a tramp. I hate using bad behavior to get ahead in the game, but Taylor says she's looking to get in good with the other side. I don't think she'll go up. Edward should go up in place of Harvey. And I'll make the call on that." With that, Elizabeth strolls into the house on her mission, grabbing Cinnamon's attention and directing her to the Head of Household room. This time, Cinnamon - clothed, for a change - willingly follows her arch-rival. ----------------------------------------------------------- Head of Household Room, Day 9 ----------------------------------------------------------- "Edward needs to go up in Harvey's place," demands Elizabeth to a befuddled Cinnamon. "It's that simple. Jason's a pawn and Edward's in an alliance with both Taylor and Jason." "And you're not in some sort of alliance with Marcus?" asks the confused Head of Household. "The only things you do all day are try to convert people, go to those boring-ass prayer services, and hang out with Marcus. I think you're deflecting--" "Never talk about my faith like that again!" Elizabeth follows this up by storming out without another word - the shocked expression leaving Cinnamon's face soon after as Taylor strolls in. "Don't worry," assures Cinnamon to her visitor, "you're not going up." "Good to know," she smiles back. "Elizabeth just came in here and got really pissed for no reason," she fires back. "If I put her up, I'd almost rather she goes than John. Would you vote her out if my alliance did the same?" "Honestly?" No, lie to the girl. "No. No way in hell." "OK, fair enough." No big moves this week. "So who should go up?" "I think Marcus and Elizabeth are a dangerous pair." Taylor's usually one to be direct, this time being no exception. "I know none of your people are going up, and I like having a connection to your alliance. Ben and I are close, and Edward's close to Giovanna. The five of us can run the house if we need to. But I think the one holding everything back," she sighs, "is Marcus." "Marcus?" Pure confusion. "Marcus?" Of all people. "You're serious." "He's too safe. He's a leech. He'll attach himself to powerful people, ride coattails, and win based on never having stabbed anyone in the back. I think it's Marcus. And yes," she continues, "I might vote him out. But," and Cinnamon braces for the death blow, "I think you should be the first to know." "What's that?" "I'm a little nervous about something." Putting her head down. "I...well, I thought it wasn't a big deal at the time, but I just realized I switched to a different...a different brand of birth control before I came into the house." Clearly Cinnamon's not sure how this affects her in the slightest. "And Ben...well, the second time we had sex...we didn't use protection. I remembered he's a virgin and I was on the pill...but you understand my trouble. I don't think it's anything, but...I'm telling you, and I'll tell Ben." "Really?" The look of confusion hasn't left her face. "You mean to tell me you're that damn stupid." "I'm more saying this because I'm scared." The first look of trepidation. "Even if nothing happened, I want us to be on the same page. And I think putting Marcus up is a good idea." "OK, what?" From a life-changing error back to the game in a single sentence. "Are you trying to put some sort of Jedi hex on me? I was going to put up Marcus, but after this...not so sure." "It's simple. Marcus this week, Jason next week. If I win HoH, I'll do that." Still some nerves. "After that, I'll know if this is a problem. I'll bring Edward into the mix on this soon. Please talk to Ben." "Hmmm, two competing alliances. It's not like it's never worked before." Ironically, of course - who has actually pulled this off before? ----------------------------------------------------------- Living Room, Day 9 ----------------------------------------------------------- "The veto meeting is called to order," declares the victorious Juanita, wearing the gold veto emblem around her neck, to thirteen others in the house, two of whom are in the plush chairs. "John and Harvey, I nominated you for eviction; however, I have won the veto and now have the power to take one of you off the block. I'll let each of you plead your cases. Harvey, you first." Just so it doesn't look like a last-ditch effort when she inevitably plucks him from certain doom. He rises. "I thought I had the thing won," he grumbles, "but I got beat fair and square. I respect your decision, but being rescued from the block might make a good consolation prize." He takes his seat. Juanita smiles. "John, your turn." For entertainment purposes only - and he knows it. Without even rising from his seat, "I know the decision's been made and I'm on the wrong end." And that's it. The house unofficially nominates this the Worst Veto Speech Ever. Juanita's turn. "I know there exists a great deal of politics in the house. I see the prayer groups, the back-room meetings, and the encounter between Ben and Taylor up in Cinnamon's room." A cold glare from the Head of Household in response. "The only non-aligned players in the house are myself, Harvey, and John, and if I use the veto, someone in an alliance is going up. And I know it won't be from Cinnamon's alliance. So with that in mind," and no doubt this pause will be magnified to about a minute on the broadcast, "I will be using the power of veto..." Wait for it. Or don't. "...on Harvey." She walks up to the cop, who's still wearing his Chicago P.D. shirt, and places it around his neck. With the closest thing he shows to enthusiasm, he kisses the victor on the cheek and joins her on a now-crowded couch, squishing an annoyed Marcus in the process. Oh, one more thing. "Cinnamon, you must now name a replacement nominee." On the less-crowded side of the couch, the bikini-clad Head of Household, previously enjoying a spot between Ben and Cameron, takes her place in front of the house. "Well, this leaves me no choice," she broods, "but to pick someone from the God Squad. This choice is more to ensure that John goes home than to piss anyone off. So, with that in mind, Marcus, you're going on the block." Marcus appears both shocked and relieved as he takes his place in Harvey's old seat - shocked because he can't imagine why anyone would put up the inoffensive father of three who doesn't even swear, but relieved because he hates being touched. Just one more thing to be said before the house goes back to its regularly scheduled boredom. "The veto meeting is adjourned." Juanita, after quipping this, she stands and closes the wood box that held the veto. The closing of the box actually makes a higher-pitched, knocking sound that dissipates quickly, but the sound will undoubtedly be amplified for the broadcast, as it always is. ----------------------------------------------------------- Diary Room, Day 9 ----------------------------------------------------------- "I don't have the numbers to stay," grumbles John, counting the days until he's back to his life - failing to factor in the Early Show interview, the rounds on his local radio station, the September reunion, and the very real possibility of going into sequester for being invited back. But yeah, other than that, game over. That and, well, they could vote to keep him. "Maybe something insane will happen, I suppose, and I'll get to stay. But if you're not going to win the game, there's no point in being anything but the first one voted off." Or the second. Or third, fourth, or fifth; at least in this game, they get to go back to their lives. Assuming, anyway, that lounging around a big mansion with free drinks and almost no rules on CBS' dime isn't your idea of fun. "All right, can I go now? I've only got three days to save myself." Or not save himself. Whatever. ----------------------------------------------------------- Diary Room, Day 9 ----------------------------------------------------------- "I don't get it," stammers Marcus, his palms sweaty and his face in a pale state of shock. "What if something changes? There are three days until the vote." Please, everyone, don't tell Marcus about the number of pawns who have gone home. "Still not sure why I agreed to do this, but I was told I would have the same comforts everyone else got. And now it's all gone. Back home. Maybe." Counting on his fingers at this point. "I think I have Elizabeth and Jason. I should have Edward and Taylor. Not sure what she's doing with Ben. Hopefully nothing too bad." Maybe there is a God after all - Marcus is willfully naive. No one tell Harvey. "I heard Harvey's voting John, especially after he caused all that awful racket." That's five. "And Juanita seems to be in his pocket. I'm hopefully safe." And with that, out comes the disinfectant, and out goes Marcus. ----------------------------------------------------------- Diary Room, Day 9 ----------------------------------------------------------- "Everyone knows where everyone else stands in this house right now," opines Juanita. "I have no allegiance but to Harvey. He has no allegiance but to me. I had to use it." "Plus, it got Cinnamon pissed off, and that's always good." Cue Juanita mockingly telling one of Cinnamon's dirty jokes. "If I have to hear that one again, I'll kill her." "Maybe I'll vote Marcus out; I don't know. Whatever throws the house into chaos and keeps us in longer." Clearly thinking long and hard. "Although if I vote John, the God Squad will be happy I kept Marcus around, and the other guys will be happy I got rid of John." Stroking her chin in thought - only Jamal has the appropriate facial hair for such a gesture, but only Juanita has the credentials - she continues. "Besides, if I vote John out, hopefully we won't have to listen to his ridiculous charades." She makes a beeline for the door - wouldn't want to be caught in there is Rex drops in. ------------------------------------------------------------ Diary Room, Day 9 ------------------------------------------------------------ "It's set. John's going home. We have the votes." Cinnamon recaps the votes to keep Marcus - his entire alliance along with Harvey and Juanita, who can't stand John. "I suppose I could try to swing something, seeing as how my main alliance partner is sleeping with someone on their side. Plus," she opines, "we have five votes on our side. All we need is one to change things up." "I'd love to get the God Squad on the run and take control of this game right now. The only problem," and this one's worth a long sigh, "is that I really don't think John wants to be here. He's a total loose cannon, and I don't think I can trust him." "Harvey and I can't stand each other, and the same is true for Juanita and I." Thank you, Captain Obvious. "On the other hand, Harvey couldn't possibly end up in the God Squad. They don't trust him because they can't look past his atheism. Whatever. I don't get into faith discussions in this house. It's just not worth it." ------------------------------------------------------------ Twitter.com CBS Big Brother ------------------------------------------------------------ --One waste of space gone, the other hopefully soon to quit. --Anyone else get the Live Feeds? I'm thinking of asking for a refund if John stays. --What about if Marcus stays? --He's at least entertaining. If you're into schadenfreude. --He quit during the first challenge. If Moonves can work in a way to sit out of challenges, he'll do it. --He's petrified of their pet birds. What can they do, poop on him? --I hope one does. It'll be the funniest thing ever. --At least he's not like that butt-brain John. He said he was going to serve the birds for dinner. --Can the rest of the house serve John for dinner? --Eww, gross. He probably tastes like...ugh, don't even want to think about it. --OK, fine, no John for dinner. Maybe just flush him down the john. --That's classic. You stay up all night thinking about that? --Nah, got to bed a little after one. You? --Huh? What time did I go to bed? --Check out the Live Feeds. Taylor's seducing Ben again. --Ben needs to lose a few more pounds. Seriously. --What exactly does she see in him? Really. --She's so deliciously evil. It's like she doesn't have any human emotions and just destroys anything in her path. --If I were Cinnamon, I'd have put Taylor up. She's some kind of psychopath. --Just wait for someone's severed head on a stick. --Not the mental image I was thinking of. --Didn't she seduce Jamal earlier? --She tried but failed, I thought. --No, no. She seduced him. For real. --And what proof do you have of this? --Do you have the Live Feeds? No? So shut up. ------------------------------------------------------------ End of Episode #3 ------------------------------------------------------------   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kingfish 12060 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 06-04-10, 10:49 AM (EST) 5. "RE: Big Brother: Secret Mission Episode 3 - "Wait, We Can't Go In There"" LAST EDITED ON 06-07-10 AT 07:51 AM (EST) Glad to see that you're back to this again. And I hope you get the affection that goes with this: "It's about dam time!"   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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