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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 07-28-08, 08:42 AM (EST) "The Amazing Race: Expedition Episode 10 - "You Think We'll Get A Lot Of Looks There For Being Bald?"" INTERVIEW: "The Amazing Race" Ravers Hayley Masterson and Alexis Steel Talk Tough-as-nails "raver" friends Hayley Masterson and Alexis Steel picked a fight with another team who had a vendetta against them. Ex-Girlfriends Allison "Spike" Blades and Jennifer Ellsworth tricked them into begging for money, a violation of this season's rules, and led them to incur a devastating 78-minute time penalty. When the dust settled, the 27-year-old court reporter and 28-year-old police officer from Tampa, FL became the seventh team to be eliminated from this edition of the Race despite not being handicapped by a suicide bombing that took the lives of three crew members and nearly killed five Race contestants. On Thursday, Hayley and Alexis talked to RealityTVWorld.com about their experience, their rivalry with Spike and Jennifer, avoiding the suicide bombing, and the difficulties that have faced them since they returned from the show. RealityTVWorld.com: How were you cast for the Amazing Race? Hayley: We attended an open casting call. We both had a weekend off and decided to drive to Miami for the weekend, and when we were there, we tried out for the show. Alexis: We had no idea the show was in town, but when we got there, we figured, what the hell, and we tried out. They must have liked what they saw. RTVW: Your motto is "Girls can do anything." You said before the show that you were going to be the first all-female team to win. How difficult is it to go out because another team played a trick on you? Alexis: It was a lot harder at the time to accept, and after re-entering the real world, it all came back to me. I felt like I failed. Hayley: And I felt the same way. Getting back to our lives has been pretty tough, especially when we thought about what kind of response we would get to this episode. RTVW: What sort of problems have you had? Hayley: I'll just come out and say it. I've let my temper get the best of me an awful lot. For the past couple of months, I've let it affect my job, and I've turned into, shall we say, a less than ideal mate. Alexis: I've been suspended from the force twice and spent more than a few nights in jail. It's been worse for me. Hayley: We both went to jail for attacking our boyfriends. I thought mine was cheating, and he wasn't, so now I feel like an idiot. RTVW: So far, have you gotten any immediate response for what you said on the show? Alexis: I got the worst of it. My mother called me up and screamed at me. She's pretty much the only person who can get through to me, and I heard her loud and clear. Hayley: It's been mixed for me. My boyfriend was mad at me for defending Alexis so much, but my parents were supportive of me. RTVW: Alexis, why did you say what you said to Spike? Alexis: As I said on the show, I wanted to gain an edge. I knew her father was dead, and if I had to make her feel like her father was anything less than a saint, it would cause her to lose her focus. Hayley: That plan worked for a while, but that Jennifer is smooth. She took advantage of me being upset with Alexis to sink us. RTVW: When did you find out what really happened to Spike's dad? Alexis: It wasn't shown, but before we left, she told me everything. Before that, I wasn't sorry at all for saying what I said, and I only apologized because Hayley twisted my arm. After she said that, I apologized for real. RTVW: Hayley, what did you do to get Alexis to apologize? Hayley: First, I threatened not to check in to guarantee we would be eliminated. Then I threatened to quit the Race, and she still didn't budge. I told her I would punch the greeter right in the mouth if she didn't apologize, which would have cost us all the prizes we were entitled to and probably land us in jail. She backed down. RTVW: When this was going on, did you know about the suicide bombing? Hayley: No. We walked away before Phil could tell us. He wanted to, but we were pretty upset and didn't want to hear it. Alexis: We found out when the four teams ("Dating Couple" Tina Cameron and Jim Nolan, "Teacher and Former Student" Carrie Burnside and Dana Quinn, Spike and Jennifer, and "Father and Son" Charlie and Derek Forrest) arrived together. I felt bad that they were caught up in that, but I was glad they were OK. Hayley: I also thought about how Spike and Jennifer convinced us to beg, which made us decide we didn't need the Loan Shark. It's possible that we would have been in the bombing if we had gone for it, so the way I see it, Jennifer saved our lives. Alexis: So if I hadn't bad-mouthed Spike's father, we'd be dead. You're welcome, Hayley. RTVW: Besides Spike and Jennifer, were there any other teams you butted heads with? What about teams you got along with well? Hayley: During the Race, we didn't get along at all with {"Dating Couple" Bobby Kingsford and Caroline Clarkson.} I saw Bobby as lazy and useless. Alexis: In sequester, though, I didn't have a problem with them. Hayley: Outside the Race, there are no teams that I have a problem with. However, I can't say I've talked to anyone from the Race. RTVW: Even with the suicide bombing, were you pretty sure that the Tel Aviv leg would still be an elimination leg? Alexis: We didn't know about it, so we assumed someone would be eliminated. No one said anything different. Hayley: For a while, I thought we might survive, since there were four teams that hadn't arrived, but for most of the time during our penalty, we thought we were done. RTVW: Did anyone report any injuries from the blast when you were around? Hayley: Everyone seemed OK, although Derek said his face was hurting him. It was a little hard to tell because he had about three weeks of beard growth. Alexis: Now say that without drooling. Hayley: What? He's a handsome man. RTVW: A few female contestants reported being attracted to Derek. Did anything come of that? Alexis: Carrie made an idiot out of herself trying to get into Derek's pants. And if he wasn't going for her, we didn't have a chance. Hayley: I talked to Derek some; he's a hell of a nice guy, but he's so loyal to his girlfriend it's almost sad. RTVW: What about you guys? Were you getting any second looks? Alexis: I found out later that Caroline was so antagonistic toward us because she said Bobby found Hayley attractive. Hayley: What can I say? RTVW: So what's next for you guys? Back to the club? Hayley: In a bit. I'm in counseling right now for attacking my boyfriend and being so difficult at work, but it's going well and I have a new outlook on life. I still want to be tough-as-nails, but I want to take my game face off some, too. Alexis: I've joined Hayley in counseling, and I think it's starting to help. I'm looking for an outlet for that. Maybe we'll add a fitness center onto the club. Or a fight club. Hayley: Sounds like fun. And in our first match, I'll be whipping Alexis. Alexis: Sure you will. The Show Begins - air date 11/19/2008 The introductory shot is of Kgalagadi Transfrontier park, first of a lion chasing an antelope and then of a native village. Finally, it zooms in on the tent park, where several people are seen gathering. Phil (voice-over): Previously on the Amazing Race...eight teams set out from Kgalagadi Park in western Botswana and drove to Johannesburg, destined for Tel Aviv, Israel. Some teams were running short on money. Alex: Drive yourselves to Johannesburg and fly to Tel Aviv, Israel. We have no money for this leg. Elena: We should have paid the driver. Phil (voice-over): At the airport, Spike opened up to Carrie. Carrie: Hey, what's that? Spike: This is a locket I've had since I was a little girl. I guard this with my life. It's all I have to remember my dad. Phil (voice-over): Alexis used this as an opportunity to antagonize Spike about her father's death. Alexis: I just want to know what's with the necklace. Spike: It's from my dad, OK? Alexis: Sure. What did he do, hand you a necklace and then hit the road? Spike (sharply): Don't you dare talk about my father like that. He loved me. Alexis: Sure he did. That's why he left. Spik (shouting): My father didn't leave, you f------ bitch! He's been dead since I was eight! How f------ dare you talk about him like that! F--- you, bitch! Phil (voice-over): However, even Hayley disapproved of her display. Hayley: You lost a lot of my respect. Alexis: Whatever you say. Phil (voice-over): On the plane, Jennifer tried to smooth things over with Hayley. Hayley: Look, I know Spike isn't ready to hear this, but I am sorry for what Alexis said. I've tried to talk to her, but she's just so stubborn. Jennifer: At least one of you is sane. I try to be the voice of reason for my team, but Spike's just so fiery. Phil (voice-over): However, Jennifer was secretly tricking Hayley. Jennifer: I've thought about begging in Tel Aviv. People there have money. Hayley: Isn't that against the rules? Jennifer: Only if you finish last and don't get eliminated. Hayley: Really. I didn't really catch that part. Jennifer: There are so many damn rules. But Spike and I begged in Switzerland. It didn't do much good, but we did it. Hayley: That's a great idea. I'll tell Alexis. Jennifer: Do whatever you need to. (confessional) Jennifer: Begging's completely against the rules this season, and I know that. But Hayley's gullible and she bought what I said hook, like, and sinker, so hopefully that gets them out. Phil (voice-over): Hayley and Alexis bought Jennifer's story and begged in Tel Aviv. Alexis: We got twenty dollars! Or twenty of whatever the currency is around here. Hayley: I got ten here. Phil (voice-over): Jeffrey and Bryan took the Fast Forward. Bryan: Fast Forward. We were last to leave. We need this. And it looks cool. Let's go. Phil (voice-over): And the newest twist to the game gave teams a chance to earn money without breaking the rules. Spike: Loan Shark. Who here needs money? Derek: I think we all do. Spike: Well, I think we need to get it within the rules. Phil (voice-over): Charlie started to feel ill. Derek: Dad, you OK? Charlie: I need to sit down. Derek: Here, drink some water. I'll go in. Carrie: Dana, stay with Charlie. Jennifer walks into a short gate, hitting her knee. Jennifer: Ow! Son of a bitch, that hurt! Spike: You OK, Jen? Jennifer: Yeah. Let me walk this off and I'll be in. Spike: OK. Phil (voice-over): Derek, Carrie, and Spike went into the task on their own to earn a quick $500, while Tina and Jim went in together. Derek: Piece of cake. Languages are my thing. Carrie: Can you help us then? Spike: Yeah, I need that money. Phil (voice-over): Spike spotted a suspicious-looking man, and Derek immediately started to feel anxious about him. Spike (to Derek): Get a load of that guy. It's a hundred degrees and he's all bundled up. Derek: Oh s---. Carrie: What do you mean, "oh s---"? Derek: I mean "oh, s---." He looks suspicious. Phil (voice-over): Derek's suspicions were confirmed, as the teams were put in the most dangerous situation in Race history. Ragged man (shouting): Allahu akbar! (Subtitle: God is great!) He presses what appears to be a button on his torso. In the back, Jim suddenly winces in pain and falls to his knees, grabbing onto Tina and bringing her down. Derek grabs Spike and Carrie by the backs of the neck and drops. Cut to outside the shop, where Dana has taken Charlie nad Jennifer to another shop, where Charlie is sipping ice water. From the street, an explosion is seen from inside the coffee shop. Phil (voice-over): Charlie, Dana, and Jennifer rushed to the scene, fearing that they had lost their traveling companions. Charlie: You have to help, Officer. Please. My son's in there. Soldier: We will do everything we can. It is not likely that he survived, but if he did, we will bring him out. How old is he? Charlie: He's 21. Four other people that are our friends are in there. Please help. I am a former U.S. Navy captain. Can I do anything? Soldier: Please stay back. Dana and Jennifer stand up and huddle together with Charlie. Charlie (nervously): This is the worst feeling in the world. Nothing compares to this. Dana (crying): I know. And I know it's worse for you. Charlie: He just got everything he wanted and everything he needed. Please don't take him away. Phil (voice-over): Charlie's sadness turned to joy as Derek was pulled from the bomb site alive and with only minor injuries. A man walks out of the smoke accompanied by a soldier; he is hacking, coughing, and has trouble breathing. Soldier: Is that your son? As the smoke around him clears, it becomes evident that the surviving man is, indeed, Charlie's son Derek. Charlie breaks away from Dana and Jennifer and runs to his son, wrapping him up as Derek tries to escape the smoke. Charlie (subtitled): Thank God. Thank God. Phil (voice-over): Dana and Jennifer got good news as well when Carrie and Spike were brought to safety. (confessional) Dana: Seeing Carrie come out alive was incredible. I can't say it compares to how Charlie felt when Derek came out alive, but she's still my friend. Cut to another person being escorted out; Jennifer is shown crossing her fingers and waiting anxiously. Soldiers are shown escorting Spike, who can be identified by her short, golden hair, out; Jennifer drops to her knees as the soldiers carry Spike over to her. She wraps her arms around Spike's legs. Jennifer (subtitled): I love you so much, Spike. I love you. Phil (voice-over): When Jim was escorted out, he thought he had lost Tina. Spike: Where's Tina? Jim: I don't know. I don't know if she made it. Jim turns to a soldier. Jim: I had a companion. She's about six-one and had long, curly hair. She-she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Carrie: That's sweet of you to say, Jim. I didn't know you cared so much. Phil (voice-over): When Tina was brought to safety, however, Jim was overcome with joy. Female voice: Thank God for you guys. As the smoke clears, it's clear that the soldiers ar carrying Tina out. Jim: Tina! It's you! Jim again falls to his knees and starts to shed joyous tears; Tina kneels next to him. Tina: That was terrible. Phil (voice-over): At the same time, Charlie and Jim shared stories of their worst injuries. Charlie: I watched my best friend die in front of me in Grenada. They killed him and wounded me. That's why I don't have all my fingers. A zoom captures Charlie's left hand, which does not have a ring or little finger. Charlie: I hated to tell my story on Survivor, but, well, I had to. Jim: Well, I should tell you guys something while we're being completely honest. I haven't been honest about how I hurt my knee. I didn't get hurt in a football game. I was shot. Phil (voice-over): Spike broke down. Carrie: What's wrong? Are you hurt? Spike: No. Not physically. Carrie: Well, can you talk about it? Spike (sobbing): I-I don't like to t-talk ab-bout th-his. Carrie: What is this about? Listen, are you still upset about what Alexis said? Phil (voice-over): And she revealed a shocking secret. Spike: My father didn't die in a car accident. Carrie: What do you mean? Did Alexis get something right? Spike: No. He's dead. He never left. Carrie: Then what is it? Spike: I don't want to talk about it. Carrie: Please, Spike. Tell us. What happened to your dad? Spike: He-he was-- Spike swallows hard. Spike: I can't do this. Carrie: I won't force the issue. You don't have to talk about-- Spike (sharply): My father was murdered. Phil (voice-over): Carrie revealed a secret of her own. Carrie: I killed my son. Spike: What? Carrie (crying uncontrollably): My son died in a car accident three years ago. I was driving, and my ex-husband left me because of it. I was driving. (shouting) I was driving, and I f------ killed him! Phil (voice-over): At the same time, Tina had an emotional breakdown. Derek: Tina, what's wrong? Jim turns and sees Tina in tears. Jim: Tina, talk to us. Tina tries to form words. Jim: What it is? Tina (sobbing): I-I'm so ashamed. Y-you're all g-going t-to hate me for this. Phil (voice-over): Despite her fears, she revealed her darkest secret. Tina (in a raised voice): I was molested. All I want to say about it is that it was my f------ uncle that did it, and he left the country when I was 16. Jim: You always told me you were never raped. Tina (sharply): I lied, OK? Jim: I can't tell you you're wrong. Tina: It's why I hate to be touched. Phil (voice-over): And Jim told Tina his true feelings. Jim: Look, Tina, I know this is going to be hard to hear, and I know you may not be able to respond, and I respect that, but I just wanted to tell you this before it was too late. Tina looks at Jim, confused. Jim: I-I love you. Tina gives a puzzled look. Tina: I don't know the last person who said that to me and meant it. Phil (voice-over): While Carrie and Spike showered Derek with praise and affection. Carrie: You saved my life, Derek. If not for you, I probably would have died. Derek: You did everything, Carrie. You and Spike-- Carrie: Stop it, Derek. You pulled us under the table. You made us safe. Don't be so modest. Carrie kisses Derek on the lips. Carrie: Thanks a million, handsome. Spike joins Carrie and climbs onto Derek; she's about a foot shorter than him. Spike: Carrie's right, Derek. Spike kisses Derek on the lips. Spike: You're the best. Phil (voice-over): Derek gave a rousing speech to fire up the teams. Derek (shouting): I see the baddest teams around! I see the most successful group of Racers ever known! I see the last four teams standing; that's what I see! The world dropped a f------ suicide bomber on us, and every one of us should be dead! But we're not! None of us! We survived! Nothing can stop us! If we can survive a suicide bomber, we can do damn near anything! Phil (voice-over): And the Solid Gold alliance was born. Derek: We stick together, and we will not be defeated. I want to hear Solid Gold on three, ready? One, two, three-- All eight (emphatically): Solid Gold! Derek: All right, we need to get going. Phil (voice-over): Meanwhile, at the Fast Forward, Jeffrey and Bryan used a particle smasher. Bryan: One, two, three! Jeffrey and Bryan activate their particle-smashing units in unison, and the smashers hit at the same time. The scientist applauds and hands Bryan the clue. Phil (voice-over): At the Roadblock, some teams had difficulty with a ballet-related task. Dan: This is so un-masculine. Phil (voice-over): And the difficulty triggered pessimism in Charlie. Cut to Derek falling again. Derek: Damnit. Charlie (to himself): And he says we're all going to stay in the Race. Phil (voice-over): At the Detour, the choice of tasks was unanimous. Alex: Mount Sinai looks hard. Let's do Mount Olympus. Elena: If you say so. Phil (voice-over): Jeffrey and Bryan rode the Fast Forward to the top. Phil: You're team number ONE! Phil (voice-over): Teams with large hands had trouble with the Detour. Dan: I wish I had smaller fingers. Phil (voice-over): At the Pit Stop, Hayley and Alexis received the bad news. Phil: Hayley and Alexis...you are the second team to arrive. Alexis (angrily): What? Phil: However, you have violated this season's rules on begging. Your penalty time is 78 minutes, starting now. Phil (voice-over): Which paved the way for Alex and Elena, along with Reggie and Dan, to pass them. Phil (to Alex and Elena): You're team number two! Phil (to Reggie and Dan): You're team number three! Phil (voice-over): And the news of the suicide bombing hit them pretty hard. Phil: All of the Race contestants survived, but we lost two cameramen and a sound man. Eleven people died in the blast. Both Alex and Elena appear to cry. Phil: You guy are taking this pretty hard. Alex (crying): No one deserves that. No one. Phil: All your fellow contestants are fine. Elena (shaken up): We all love the camera guys. Phil: We all do, too. Phil (voice-over): On the way to the Pit Stop, the Solid Gold membership discussed who would go. Tina: Look, this is a tough choice, but we need to decide who's going home. Carrie: It can't be you guys. You need to go up first. Jim: That's crazy. With my knee, we don't stand a chance. Spike: Look. I'll probably spend the money on drugs and cigarettes. You guys need the money more. Carrie: I was going to volunteer to go out because we're the weakest-- Charlie: Now listen here, Carrie. You need the money. I got everything I wanted on Survivor. Derek and I will go. He's going pro in a year, and I have enough money from the Navy. Spike: After Derek saved our lives, there's no way we're letting you go out. Phil (voice-over): Despite other teams' objections, Charlie and Derek agreed to go. Derek: It's OK, guys. Besides, I'm crossing my fingers none of us will go out. But if someone does, it will be us. Carrie embraces Derek, kissing him on the cheek. Carrie: You're my hero, Derek. Derek: I'm no one's hero. My dad's a hero. Carrie: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, handsome. Carrie kisses Derek on the lips as the bus stops. Phil (voice-over): However, they were pleasantly surprised with the news that none of them would be eliminated. Phil: You're all still in the Race. Phil (voice-over): As their time penalty expired, Alexis took the opportunity to apologize to Spike. Alexis: But before we go, I just want to say one thing. Spike, I said some pretty nasty things to you at the airport, and I hope you can accept my apology. I had no right to talk about your father the way I did. Spike (tearing up): Thanks, Alexis. That means a lot to me. Phil (voice-over): Despite their contrition, Hayley and Alexis were eliminated. Phil: I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the Race. Alexis: It's OK. We deserved it. Phil (voice-over): Seven teams remain. Who will be eliminated next? The opening credits begin to roll. At first, a Mercator projection of the world in black, green, and yellow, with the Amazing Race logo superimposed over it cuts to a view of an airplane flying above a layer of clouds. The phrase "14 teams of 2" appears on screen. The first team shown on screen is Leilani and Kea against an island backdrop. The credits continue to Carrie and Dana outside a college building, Hayley and Alexis in front of a row of prison cells, Reggie and Dan outside FedEx Field, Bobby and Caroline in front of their Colorado home, Ray and Jamal in front of a panoramic shot of the Gulf of Mexico, Tina and Jim on a football field sideline with a medical pod in the backdrop, Debra and Bob on a hilly road with their bikes, Alex and Elena on a college green, Jeffrey and Bryan in front of a construction site, Spike and Jennifer outside Seattle's City Hall, and Steve and Darius on a chicken ranch. In this ending, Eric and Jessica appear outside Jessica's home in Kansas, and Charlie and Derek appear on a hockey rink. The screen cuts to commercial.   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 07-28-08, 08:44 AM (EST) 1. "The Amazing Race: Expedition Episode 10 - "You Think We'll Get A Lot Of Looks There For Being Bald?"" Blog Entry, 11/13/2008 Authored by: Judith Sparks, girlpowercluberis As many of you are probably sick of hearing by now, I would like to offer my condolences to those affected by the suicide bombing. This senseless act of violence is just one of many and is only getting attention because it happened on American TV. That's not to belittle the situation, but it is to say that those who are affected by all such acts of violence should be given the proper respect rather than simply appearing as a "breaking news" story for ten minutes on CNN.com and then fading from the public conscious. OK, enough political statements. Time to talk about Hayley and Alexis. It's crazy how their progress has mirrored what they did on the show - cold, heartless, and cruel until they pushed too far, and when they realized the consequences of their actions, apologetic and remorseful. This is exactly why I arranged to have their boyfriends kidnapped - I wasn't getting through to them any other way. Even jail didn't teach them; they knew they wouldn't be convicted. Losing their punching bags, however, got their attention. Both Hayley and Alexis have been in counseling for their anger, and both appear to have made some progress. Alexis is effectively on her last warning with her job; one more incident of any kind, and they're firing her. Hayley has a little more leeway with her job, even if she is looking for another (with no success, since she has a reputation now.) A weekend away from their girlfriends seems to have enlightened the guys, too. It seemed to work for me; why mess with what works? Granted, there's nothing Earth-shattering like opening a new club that's friendly to guys or anything like that, but they did both say they were going back to school full-time, and they both accepted my offer of being part-time bartenders to pay the bills. Alexis's boyfriend told her off and said he never wants to see her again; Hayley's gave her another chance. At first, Alexis flipped her lid - and I was standing right there and heard everything - and shouted at him, claiming that she owned him and he couldn't leave. After a couple of minutes of that, she changes strategies - and begged. It was sad. She even promised to make all the money and do all the housework (an offer that might have worked better on Bobby) and let him do whatever he wanted in the meantime. He didn't take it. From what Alexis told me, she was told that if she ever contacted him again, he would have a restraining order filed. Something has to get through to that girl. She did one thing good, though - she called the bar Spike works at after the Race and apologized; even if she talked to some guy named Finn, it was still good of her. Plus, it gets that psycho Blazer off her back. From what I understand, take Evel Dick, put him in somewhat better physical shape, add a history of anger problems, and factor in nicotine withdrawal, and I wouldn't mess with him. I'm pretty sure there's some kind of law on the books that says people can't be held responsible for actions they commit while they're quitting smoking and are provoked by an attack on a loved one. In which case, that suicide bomber should be glad he's up with his 72 virgins. Or burning in hell, whichever. Either one's an improvement over being stomped on by Blazer for all eternity. Back from commercial. Cut to an overview of Tel Aviv, Israel, included in the shot are the city of Jaffa as well as the Moshe Aviv Tower before it zooms in on Yarkon Park, including the amphitheater. Phil (voice-over): This is Tel Aviv, Israel. This hundred-year-old city and economic heart of Israel was the ninth Pit Stop in a race around the world. Cut to the arrivals of Jeffrey and Bryan as well as the Solid Gold Alliance. Phil (voice-over): Teams arrived here for a mandatory rest period. The teams waiting here have no idea what's in store for them. Will the Solid Gold alliance, forged by the survival of a suicide bombing, hang together or go their separate ways? Cut to a medical trailer, where Derek is being treated for a shrapnel wound; noticeably, part of his hair, including his beard, have been shaved. Phil (voice-over): Those who were in the bombing were treated for wounds as well as mental anguish, but all were cleared to race and were eager to do so. Cut to Charlie being monitored by a heart machine. Phil (voice-over): Charlie was monitored after exhibiting symptoms of a heart attack; however, it was confirmed he did not have one and was suffering from severe anxiety. He has been cleared to race. Cut to Derek with a shaved head and face; the beginnings of scars are evident on the left side of his face. Phil (voice-over): At the Pit Stop, Derek was forced to shave his head and his beard because of shrapnel wounds, and as an act of solidarity, the Solid Gold alliance did the same. Carrie, Dana, and Tina have asked for their hair to be donated to Locks for Love, and all alliance members have pledged to keep their heads shaved until they are eliminated. Cut to Dana's hair being cut off; she is smiling but nervous. Phil (voice-over): In addition, for attempting the Loan Shark, all four Solid Gold teams will receive an extra $500 in their money for this leg of the Race, while all other teams will receive $100. Jeffrey and Bryan, who were the first to arrive... Cut to Jeffrey and Bryan at the clue box. Phil (voice-over): ...will depart at 11:54 pm. Bryan: Fly to Nanchang, China-- Cut to an overview of a plane taking off from Tel Aviv. Phil (voice-over): Team must now fly over 4,700 miles from Tel Aviv to Nanchang, China. Once there, they must travel to Tengwang Pavilion, where they will receive their next clue. Cut to Jeffrey and Bryan. Bryan: You have $30 for this leg of the Race plus a bonus. Jeffrey: How much? Bryan counts off the money, which consists of four $20 bills and two $10 bills. Bryan: $100 cash. Jeffrey: Good. Let's go. Cut to Alex and Elena, second to depart at 12:21 am. Alex: Fly to Nanchang, China and find Tengwang Pavilion. Elena: Well, we're getting out of any place I know anything about. Team confessional, Alex and Elena. Elena: I'm pretty sharp when it comes to a lot of the world, but the middle of China is hardly my area of expertise. Alex: I can't help much, either. My home country might share a border with China, but I'm so far removed from that. Cut to Reggie and Dan, third to depart at 12:25 am. Reggie: Fly to Nanchang, China and find Tengwang Pavilion. Team confessional, Reggie and Dan. Dan: I didn't do too well in history or geography in school, so it seems like anything I learn about a country is through work with our foundations. Reggie: We did a little relief work through the Red Cross for the earthquake in China, so we learned a bit about China. Dan: Nothing useful, though. Cut to Ben Gurion International Airport; Jeffrey and Bryan, currently in first place, arrive at a ticket counter. Bryan: We need to get to Nanchang, China as quickly as possible. Agent: We have a flight leaving at 4:30 am. You will go through Frankfurt and Hong Kong and arrive at 1:00 pm tomorrow. Bryan: There's nothing direct? No way to go into Beijing directly? Agent: No, we do not have anything to Beijing directly. Team confessional, Jeffrey and Bryan. Bryan: At this point, I realized that we probably had lost our lead. Except for the fact that it kept us out of a suicide bombing, the Fast Forward didn't do us any good. Jeffrey: We should be fine as long as you know as much about Asia as you say you do. Cut to Tina and Jim, fourth to depart at 1:04 am. Tina is noticeably bald and wearing a bandana over her head. Tina: Fly to Nanchang, China and find Tengwang Pavilion. Hey, look, we have extra money. Tina counts the $30 for this leg and begins to shuffle through the bonus money; she counts $500 in $50s, $20s, and $10s. Tina: We have an extra $500. Jim: It's the least they could do after we almost got killed. Tina: Thanks for saving my life, by the way. Jim: Give me a break. My knee saved our lives. I didn't do a damn thing. Team confessional, Tina and Jim. Jim: We survived the suicide bombing because I had a sharp pain in my knee and fell to the floor. I grabbed Tina by accident and dragged her down at the right moment. Tina: So I guess the hospital that screwed up his surgery saved our lives. Thanks, guys. Cut to Carrie and Dana, fifth to depart at 1:05 am. Both Carrie and Dana are bald; Carrie has a bandana on her head while Dana is wearing a baseball cap with the Stanford logo. Dana: Fly to Nanchang, China and find Tengwang Pavilion. Carrie: You think we'll get a lot of looks there for being bald? Dana: I doubt it. Maybe for being beautiful. Cut to Spike and Jennifer, sixth to depart at 1:06 am. Both Spike and Jennifer are bald; Jennifer has on a scarf that covers most of her head. Spike, however, has nothing covering her head. Jennifer: Fly to Nanchang, China and find Tengwang Pavilion. Spike: I wonder if we ever got the money for that Loan Shark. Jennifer digs into the envelope and pulls out the bonus money. Spike: Jackpot. Jennifer: Of course, now we can't convince other teams to beg. Spike: No need. We got the thieving bitches out. I'm thrilled. Cut to Charlie and Derek, last to depart at 1:07 am. Both Charlie and Derek are bald; Charlie has on a baseball cap with the Detroit Red Wings logo on it, the same one worn by Derek earlier, and Derek has nothing covering his head and is noticeably wounded on the face. Charlie: Fly to Nanchang, China and find Tengwang Pavilion. Derek: What do they have in China that could kill us? Charlie: Probably nothing. I'm pretty sure you're immortal. Cut to Ben Gurion International Airport; at this time, all teams have arrived. Carrie: We need to get to Nanchang, China as soon as possible. Agent: The only flight I have leaving today is at 4:30 am. You will connect in Frankfurt and Beijing and arrive at 1:05 pm tomorrow afternoon. Carrie: Do you know if anyone else got any better flights? Agent: It is unlikely. We do not fly directly to China. Carrie: Well, OK. I guess we'll take these. Cut to several teams near the gate to take off; Charlie, Derek, Carrie, and Dana are talking to Reggie and Dan. Dan: I'm still floored. But I don't understand one thing. Why would anyone kill themselves to blow up a building? Reggie: It's like what happened on 9/11, only on a smaller scale. These people believe they become martyrs by killing themselves to kill non-Muslims. Dan: I've worked with Muslims who are nothing like that and think that suicide bombings are stupid. Reggie: They are stupid. Dan: So that's what that guy was trying to do? He tried to kill us to become a martyr? Reggie: Exactly. Noticeably, Derek is trying to put an anti-scarring cream on his face. Dan: You still don't look right without hair, Derek. Derek: I know. I feel like a cue ball. Hey Dad, how strict are we on this bald thing? Can I grow my beard back? Charlie: That depends. Carrie, did you get hit with anything? Carrie: Nope. I'm fine. Spike told me she's OK too. Charlie: There you have it, son. Team confessional, Charlie and Derek. Derek: I feel so self-conscious with my head shaved and a big scar on my face. It's like people are seeing this scar and not me. At least I can grow my beard back and cover it. Charlie: So you're always going to look like you're in the playoffs. Derek: I'll play like it, too. Charlie: You can start here. Cut to the gate. Reggie: So what exactly happened in there? Carrie: Well, from my point of view, Derek grabbed the back of my neck and the back of Spike's, ducked us under the table, and the table deflected the bomb. We lived because Derek acted fast. Derek: What they don't tell you is that Spike pointed the bomber out to me. Carrie: That doesn't make you any less of a hero. Derek: Spike's the hero. (confessional) Derek: What she also didn't mention was that I chatted with Carrie about suicide bombings on the way into Israel, and she told me some of the things to look for. So with her information and Spike pointing someone out, I put one and one together, and I was right. Cut to the gate. Carrie: Come on. We need to get on the plane, but first-- Derek: All right, Carrie, you can kiss me. Carrie: I was going to say I needed something to eat, but since you asked, I guess I have no choice. (confessional) Dana: I watched Carrie kiss Derek at the gate for what felt like forever. This was pretty intense, like they were about to get on the plane and find a nice, private spot to get busy. I was amazed they kept their clothes on, and the amazing thing is that it was Derek's own fault. Cut to the gate; other teams are waiting in line while Carrie and Derek continue to kiss. Dana walks over to Carrie and taps her on the shoulder. Dana: OK guys, break it up. Carrie and Derek ignore her. Loudspeaker: Last boarding call. Suddenly, Derek breaks the kiss; both he and Carrie are smiling broadly as they grab their bags and walk hand-in-hand to the gate. Dana: OK, will you guys just get it all out of your systems already? (confessional) Carrie: I'm very attracted to Derek. I know he's attracted to me. And even though we're both spoken for, that doesn't mean we can't be attracted to each other. It's not like either of us is cheating; we're just good friends. Cut to inside the plane; Carrie is seated next to Derek, and Dana and Charlie are on either side of them. (confessional) Derek: I let Carrie get away with a lot of things because she's good company and she helps keep me from going insane. Letting her kiss me like that was my way of taking my mind off my scars and the bombing. I love my girlfriend, and anything more than that would be hurting her. Cut to Tina and Jim, who are not seated near any other contestants. Jim: I know you don't like to talk about what happened to you. Tina: I haven't told anyone since I left for college. Jim: I always thought I'd be the first. Tina: I know it's not fair to you to have a girlfriend who won't even touch you. Jim: It's rough, but I live with it. You shouldn't have to be so afraid of contact, though. Tina: I can't exactly get over it like that, though. Jim: I know. Tina appears to tear up. Jim: Tina, don't cry. I'm not trying to hurt you. Tina: I know. I know you care about me. Jim: I just wish I could show it. (confessional): Jim: I have some family issues of my own. I was pretty much ignored growing up; my parents cared more about their careers than about me. I had to find personal connections elsewhere, and that's part of the reason I got into football. Cut to the plane. Jim: Tina, please stop crying. I hate to see you cry. Tina: I'm trying. I really am. Jim: No one here's going to hurt you. Tina: I know. But I can't shake the feeling. Jim: I understand. I feel like our lives have rained s--- on us. Tina: I was molested. You were shot. We almost died in a suicide bombing. What the hell else can go wrong? Jim: Whatever it is, we'll make it. We survived all those things. Tina: You're right. You're absolutely right. Team confessional, Tina and Jim. Jim: One thing I've been able to do is make connections with people that sort of substitute for what I missed with my family. I'm trying to help Tina do the same. Tina: I just don't know how Jim can be so trusting when so many people have hurt us. Jim: Well, a lot of people haven't hurt us, too. Tina: I never saw it like that. Cut to the plane. Jim: Promise me you're going to be fine. Tina: Make me the same promise. Jim begins to tear up as Tina begins to sob. The screen cuts to commercial.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 07-28-08, 08:45 AM (EST) 2. "The Amazing Race: Expedition Episode 10 - "You Think We'll Get A Lot Of Looks There For Being Bald?"" Blog Entry, 11/20/2008 Authored by: Danni Boatwright, tonganoxiegirl OK, it's getting a little ridiculous now. Dana was right - Derek and Carrie just need to get it all out of their systems. It's not like they're in love - Derek is crazy about me, and I love that, but he and Carrie have what has to be the most sexually tense friendship I've ever seen. The good news is that Derek's doing really well since the episode aired; he's seeing a counselor, and he's a lot calmer. Aside from that, it's not affecting his performance - be it on the ice, in the classroom, or...well, we won't go there...suffice it to say, another hat trick, two A's and two B's, and I'm a very happy woman. He's a little stressed about how "in-demand" he seems to be - he gets hit on by girls on a daily basis, and his psycho ex-girlfriend e-mailed him naked pictures of herself in various poses. When he blocked her e-mail address, she created a new one, and when he continued to block her, she FedExed them to his apartment. He burned most of them and gave the rest to Rob for his "private collection." I told him to enjoy it - but apparently I don't get through to him. And his father's not exactly on my side with the whole Carrie thing either. As he puts it, "Your big problem is that your boyfriend refuses to sleep with other women? Do you know how many women would kill for a problem like that?" Do you know how many women's boyfriends have a female friend who's drop dead gorgeous and survived a suicide bombing with said boyfriend? I tried to tell him that I see Carrie as another version of...well, me. I helped Charlie loosen up and gave him a good time on Survivor, and as a result, he and Paula are very happy together. I just want Carrie to do the same for Derek. And no, I don't mean to lie about a sexual relationship where none existed, although I half expect them to just call me and say, "OK, Danni, we did it; we got it out of our system" just to shut me up. Or maybe they'll write some slash fiction about their supposed night together. I've thumbed through about a hundred stories about Derek and Carrie finally "giving in to temptation" as one story puts it. It's fairly well-written, unlike most of the other stories, and it sure makes me seem ugly by comparison. Then I looked at the author, who went by the initials KCM3. It took me a second to figure it out - Kenneth C. Majors III, better known by his lifelong nickname Rex, a.k.a boyfriend of Ms. Carrie Burnside. I thought it was a great story, and so did Carrie. Derek read it, and as much as he hates to admit it, he almost hyperventilated. Of course, when I offered to get Carrie out here, he laughed. I'm doing it anyway, and he's just going to have to like it. Blog Entry, 11/20/2008 Authored by: Ron "Blazer" Macklin, punkrockliveshere I finally got to talk to Spike about her experience in rehab - she's able to leave during the day and is going back to full-time in a couple of weeks, and she's telling me absolutely everything. And I have continuous news for her. For one thing, I've been apologized to more in the past week than in the entire prior rest of my life. I didn't get an apology when I was broad-sided by a drunk driver, but when someone told Spike that her father was anything less than a saint, all of a sudden people feel the need to tell me they're sorry. It's nice; it really is. But tell Spike. No one wronged me. I do know that people are a bit scared of me for whatever reason - Judith, the nice girl who's friends with the psycho bitches, and I have made friends pretty quickly in the last week, even though she's more into industrial rock. So after a few days, I asked her what I always ask nice young ladies - if she'd like to have dinner with me. Never mind the travel involved or that I'm 20 years older than her. I figured, what the hell. And she figured, this guy's crazy and way too old for me. So she said no. And I struck out again. Spike told me all about a counselor who's taken a liking to her - she's 29 and a band manager who's doing rehab counseling as part of a plea deal. Apparently, she had a stash of coke and agreed to do rehab counseling to stay out of jail. Spike showed me her picture - and I'll be asking her out at my first opportunity. I know I have a lot in common with her already - we both have red streaks in our hair, we're both Race fans, and we're both trying to give up smoking - I haven't had a smoke in four days, and Spike's new friend is on the gum. This should be enough material for a first date. Hopefully, I can land a second -- hang on a sec. Spike's here with her new friend. And damn if I don't have the worst luck in the universe. She's beautiful, yes, but it looks like someone beat me to asking her to dinner - yes, she's going out with Spike tomorrow. Well, what did I expect from a girl with tattoos and a nose ring who answers to Skull? I can already say Spike picked someone a lot better for her than boring old Jennifer. Now to go put my head through a brick wall in frustration. Back from commercial. Jim: Promise me you're going to be fine. Tina: Make me the same promise. Jim begins to tear up as Tina begins to sob. Team confessional, Tina and Jim. Jim: Tina's hurting. The suicide bombing brought back a lot of painful memories that no one should have to think about. Tina sits crying with her head in her hands. Cut to the airplane; noticeably, only Tina and Jim are in this section. The screen caption indicates that this flight is from Frankfurt to Beijing. Jim: How are you holding up now? Tina: Better. I just needed to get that out of my system. Jim: I love you, Tina. I always have. Tina: I know. You do take good care of me. Jim: I hope one day you can tell me you love me. Tina: I hope one day I'm not afraid to be touched. Jim: We have a long flight. If it's OK with you, I want to use this time to make you more comfortable. Tina: Did you get us upgraded to first class? Jim: I wish. Jim cracks a smile; Tina does not. Jim: Tina, I hope it's OK if I hold your hand. Tina: I-I don't know what to say. Jim: It's OK if you say no. I just feel like-- Tina: I have to start somewhere. I just wish we weren't in the middle of a race for a million dollars while I did this. Jim: And I wish my knee wasn't in shreds. (confessional) Tina: Jim made a good point. He's dealing with a lot, too; the least I could do was try my damndest to get over this fear of being touched. Cut to the plane; Jim is holding Tina's hand, though she has gloves on. She appears somewhat uncomfortable. Jim: Are you doing OK? Tina: I guess. Just promise you won't hurt me. Jim: I wouldn't dream of it. Cut to Nanchang International Airport; Jeffrey and Bryan, currently in first place, are arriving at their marked car. Bryan: We need to get to Tengwang Pavilion. Jeffrey: Does any place around here have a map? Bryan: The better question is, does any place have a map we can read? Team confessional, Jeffrey and Bryan. Bryan: I may be pretty good at the culture and the workings of east Asian nations, but the Chinese language is far from my area of expertise. Jeffrey: As he describes it, there's no alphabet, and words mean different things depending on how they're said. Bryan: And here we are in the middle of China, where probably no one speaks English. Cut to Nanchang International Airport; other teams are arriving. Noticeably, Spike and Jennifer, currently in second place, are traveling with Carrie and Dana, currently in third place, and Charlie and Derek, currently in fourth place. All are bald, but Derek's beard is starting to grow back. Jennifer: Does anyone here speak Chinese? Derek, you speak Chinese, right? Derek: I speak Japanese. Spike: Same thing. Derek: Not really. Carrie: We'll stop somewhere and pick up a dictionary. Team confessional, Carrie and Dana. Carrie: And then I find out two things that really hurt. One is that they speak some completely different dialect of Chinese here that no one's ever heard of. Dana: And the only team that knows anything about this part of the world is the team we all hate. Cut to Tengwang Pavilion; Jeffrey and Bryan, currently in first place, pull in and grab the clue. Bryan: Travel to Jiujiang-- Cut to Phil near a lake at the base of a mountain. Phil: Teams must travel to the city of Jiujiang and find Mount Lushan. At the base of this mountain is Lulin Lake, where teams will receive their next clue. Cut to Jeffrey and Bryan. Bryan: This is exhausting. Jeffrey: What the hell do they speak here, anyway? Bryan: No idea. It's not normal Chinese. Jeffrey: Like you would know the difference. Bryan: It's all the same to me. Cut to Tina and Jim, currently in fifth place, in their car on the way to Tengwang Pavilion. Jim: There's no other teams around. We got left in the dust. Tina: I wonder if we can do this better on our own. Jim: This is why I wanted to go here, where we can be. Team confessional, Tina and Jim. Tina: I'm not all that into the alliance with the other teams, to be honest. We made it this far without those teams, and I know we're on the outside. Jim: No matter what, those teams will do whatever they can to ensure that they're the last three. We can't get in between Derek and Carrie's love-fest and whatever it is Dana and Spike do. Cut to Tengwang Pavilion; a caravan led by Spike and Jennifer arrives. They get out, followed by Carrie, Dana, Charlie, and Derek. Spike: Travel to the city of Jiujiang and find Mount Lushan. Derek: It's a mountain. Unless there are a hundred others, it won't be hard to find. Carrie: Unfortunately, that's how they usually are. Soon after, Tina and Jim arrive at the pavilion. Tina: Travel to the city of Jiujiang and find Mount Lushan. Jim: Great. We have to climb a mountain. Not good for my knee. Cut to Alex and Elena, currently in sixth place, one the way to the pavilion. Alex: We're in the heart of China somewhere with no idea what we're doing. Elena: For all the languages I speak, this dialect of Chinese isn't one of them. Alex: Gan Chinese isn't exactly offered at most American universities. Elena: Well, it damn sure should be. They arrive at the pavilion and rush to get the clue. Elena: Travel to the city of Jiujiang and find Mount Lushan. Let's go. Cut to Reggie and Dan, currently in last place, driving to the pavilion. Dan: This is nothing like I thought it would be. Reggie: Well, I guess it's a little like judging the U.S. by New York and L.A. This is a little more like, I don't know, Louisiana. Dan: The dragon for Chinese New Year could work in Mardi Gras, you know. Reggie and Dan arrive at the pavilion. Reggie: Travel to the city of Jiujiang and find Mount Lushan. Dan: Please don't tell me we have to climb that damn thing. Cut to Jeffrey and Bryan, currently in first place, arriving at Lulin Lake. Bryan: Detour. Bite or Kick? Cut to Phil at the base of the lake. Phil: In this Detour, teams must choose between two elements of local cuisine. Their choices? Bite or Kick. Cut to Phil by a fishing dock. Phil: In Bite, teams must find a local fisherman and assist in catching of three fish used in local restaurants. The task is basic, but patience is key. Cut to Phil in a field of peppers. Phil: In Kick, teams must eat one each of four raw spicy peppers used in local cuisine. There's no skill involved, but teams that can't take the heat could be stuck for a while. Cut to Jeffrey and Bryan. Bryan: I have a sensitive stomach. Let's do Bite. Jeffrey: Good. I hate spicy food. Soon after, Spike and Jennifer, currently in second place, arrive at the lake. Spike: Detour. Bite or Kick? I can handle peppers. No sweat. Jennifer: Well, plenty of sweat. You know, milk helps soothe the taste buds if you eat spicy things. Spike: I have Gatorade; is that close enough? Soon after Carrie and Dana arrive, and then Charlie and Derek. Carrie: Detour. Bite or Kick? Can you do peppers? Dana: Is that even a question? Team confessional, Carrie and Dana. Dana: A few of my friends and I compete making the spiciest chicken wings we can. I usually don't win, but I can handle the heat with the best of them. Carrie: I told Dana I was a little scared of spicy stuff because of my health issues. Dana: And you can eat all you want at the Pit Stop to make up for it. Carrie: I wish I had your will. Cut to the lake. Derek: Detour. Bite or Kick? The girls are doing Kick. Charlie: Well, let's do Kick then. Next to arrive are Tina and Jim. Jim: Detour. Bite or Kick? I can't do peppers. Tina: Sounds like we should do Bite. Jim: It's just fishing. We did that in Rio just fine. Arriving next, neck and neck, are Alex and Elena followed by Reggie and Dan. Alex: Detour. Bite or Kick? Elena: We better do Bite. Dan: Let's do Kick. Just like the hot wings. Reggie: If I didn't respect you so damn much, I'd kill you. Cut to Bite; Bryan is hauling in a fish with the assistance of a Chinese fisherman. Jeffrey is dangling a pole but does not appear to be alert. Bryan: Pay attention, and here, use these. They work better. Bryan hands Jeffrey what appears to be a smaller fish for bait. Jeffrey: So let me get this straight. We use fish to catch fish? Bryan: You don't think they actually serve these little things, do you? Jeffrey: I don't know what the hell they eat here. Cut to Kick; Spike and Jennifer both have yellow peppers in their mouths. On the table are gallon jugs of milk and squares of bread. Spike holds her mouth open and breathes rapidly, suppressing her tongue. Spike (muffled): I wish I didn't have a pierced tongue. Carrie: Now you tell me. Team confessional, Carrie and Dana. Carrie: Spike was a good guinea pig for me, since we both have our tongues pierced; I did the smart thing and took my tongue rings out before I ate. Dana: So as long as her tongue doesn't swell up, she's in good shape. Carrie: Don't taunt me like that. Dana: Come on; it's all in good fun. Cut to Kick; Spike has finished two peppers and Jennifer three. Carrie and Dana are on their second peppers while Derek has just finished his third. Charlie is struggling with a red pepper. Charlie: Good Lord, Derek; are you an animal? Derek: Come on, Dad. I survived hockey season and a damn suicide bomber. You think a few little peppers are going to hurt me? Derek stuffs the last pepper in his mouth and swallows almost instantly with a big smile on his face; he soon indicates trouble breathing. Carrie: Derek, slow down. Derek: I'm finished. I just need some milk to stop the burning. Derek's speech gets even more slurred. He pours himself some milk, but he appears more uncoordinated; it splashes everywhere, and as he tries to take a drink, he spills it on his face. Carrie: Derek, are you all right? Derek (slurred and muffled): I can't breathe. Derek falls to the ground, clutching his throat. Charlie: Damnit, is there a medic here? Carrie: We have a man down! Jennifer looks on, stunned, as Carrie tends to Derek. The screen cuts to commercial.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 07-28-08, 08:47 AM (EST) 3. "The Amazing Race: Expedition Episode 10 - "You Think We'll Get A Lot Of Looks There For Being Bald?"" Blog Entry, 11/20/2008 Authored by: Rex Majors, stillaliveandkicking You have now seen one of my favorite sides of Carrie, the compassionate, nurturing caretaker. She can turn that on whenever she needs to, and even if she's no doctor, she was at least able to stay by Derek's side and keep him relatively calm during the Detour. It just seems like this show can't get through more than two legs without something bad happening. Let's see...frostbite in Chile, Jeffrey's racist outbursts in Scotland and Wales, Spike's nose ring, the mushroom on the plane to Switzerland, Carrie's hypoglycemia, and the coup de grace - the suicide bomber. It makes me wonder if they should have titled this "The Amazing Race: International Disaster." At least people made friends out of the whole ordeal, and Carrie and Derek are still very close. I kind of suspected something when she came home, and since she's always honest with me, she spilled. That's why I've tried to set Carrie up for an evening with Derek. Danni and I have done everything short of booking plane tickets, and she told me she's doing that. Hell, I wrote a nice piece of fiction about what I imagine Carrie's night with Derek would be like, although I'm a little disappointed that I couldn't find the right words to describe Carrie's infinite beauty. Not that they exist or anything. Then some joker got hold of my story and changed the last couple of paragraphs to show Carrie and Derek leaving me and Danni for each other. Yes, yes, we all have our opinions about the two of them, but let me put it this way - Danni's a potential hot commodity, and I'm sure her ex would take her back and maybe even stop acting like a possessive jerk. Me? I have no ex to go back to. My last girlfriend before Carrie was a beauty who was a lot of fun, but she was a partier who leeched off me and messed around behind my back...and aside from that, she had a terrible temper. I'll stick with my current girlfriend, thank you. At least Carrie's caring side is back. She has me typing this from the couch on my laptop with hot soup and tea for this damn cold. It's all too much, but I can't say she doesn't pamper me. Blog Entry, 11/20/2008 Authored by: Michael Cameron, tryingtobeadad I e-mailed my last blog to both Tina and Jim last week. So far, I haven't gotten an answer, and Tina hasn't returned my call. It's going to take a lot more than just a blog to get my daughter back, and I don't think the 23 years I've lost with her can ever be filled. It's the only thing in recent memory, and I mean since I got married, that's made me cry. Even my wife's death was a bit of a relief because of her condition and because it made her asshole brother leave the country and get the hell away from Tina. I guess I should have known from the day she was born that she would have a rough life. I insisted on naming her Tina after Tina Turner, of whom I've always been a fan, which, aside from creating a little confusion when people ask me or her what Tina is short for, it made me think a while later what Tina Turner's famous for besides being a singer. Yes, she's one of the world's most famous abuse victims. I guess if her bastard uncle had been named Ike, I would have named her something different and hoped it brought some measure of good fortune. Fortunately, for the first few years of her life, Tina had a happy childhood - she was very bright and already read at a 6th-grade level when she was five. She wanted to be a chemist, or maybe a singer; she has a beautiful voice, and I'm not just saying that. She could probably contend on American Idol, and the young male vote would probably go to her. She was without any health issues, her kindergarten teacher loved her, and she was so ambitious - and always a complete joy. She would come home from a rough day at school, collapse in her chair, and, imitating me, she would sigh, "I need a beer." Fortunately for me, she was usually happy with a Coke. Which is good, because she tried one of my beers by accident and hated it. 23 years ago...I still remember the day vividly. They say you always remember where you were when you heard the news...for me, I remember where I was when I heard about JFK's assassination, the Challenger, Oklahoma City, 9/11...and the day my daughter told her that her uncle touched her. July 17, 1985, a Wednesday, and she just got back from her voice lesson. She was inconsolable and didn't even want me to touch her. My wife was visiting her parents in Oregon, so as busy as I was, I was still the first to find out. Seeing my crying daughter and knowing there was no way I could undo what her bastard uncle did was the hardest thing I ever had to deal with. I would have preferred that he just came into my home and shot me to death. I vowed that day to bring that poor excuse for a man to justice. If only it ended up being that simple, I might still have a relationship with Tina. Back from commercial. Derek (slurred and muffled): I can't breathe. Derek falls to the ground, clutching his throat. Charlie: Damnit, is there a medic here? Carrie: We have a man down! Jennifer looks on, stunned, as Carrie tends to Derek. Carrie: Just relax, Derek. Can I do CPR? Will that help? Charlie: Try it. Try anything. (confessional) Carrie: CPR didn't help. Derek just couldn't breathe, like his throat was closing. Cut to Carrie administering CPR. Derek is writhing in agony as medical personnel arrive on the scene. The medic is the same one from Spike's collapse in Wales; her name is Hennessy. Hennessy: Please step away, miss. Carrie: I'm trying to do CPR. Hennessy: His throat is closed. We need to get air to him. Does he have any known food allergies? Charlie: No, but we don't exactly eat whole peppers every day either. Spike: Give him an epipen. Do it. I know you have them. Dana: How the hell do you know that? Spike: They have to carry them. I'm allergic to mushrooms, and they know that. Charlie: I wish Tina was here; she could figure this out. Hennessy administers an epipen to Derek; within seconds, he stops writhing and appears to come out of shock. His eyes are still closed, and he is lying on the ground fairly motionless but breathing. Carrie looks down at him with concern, grabbing him by the hand. (confessional) Charlie: The fates are testing me big time. First, I almost lost my son in a suicide bombing, and now a pepper almost takes him down. At this rate, we'll get mugged right before the finish line and end up in the hospital. Derek appears to wake up; when he opens his eyes, Carrie pulls him to a seated position and drops to her knees. (confessional) Carrie: I didn't know what happened to Derek, but as good as he's been to me, I had to make sure he was OK. Cut to Carrie with her arms around Derek's neck, Charlie is kneeling beside him with a hand on his shoulder. Charlie: Be gentle, Carrie. Derek (raspily): Thanks, guys. Carrie: I'd do anything for you, Derek. Derek: You really came through. Derek throws his arms around Carrie with his limited strength; he kisses Carrie on the lips, and she smiles broadly. Carrie: You're sweet, Derek, but I'm not the hero. Spike came up with the idea of using an epipen; that's what saved you. Spike kneels beside Derek, and he kisses her on the cheek. Spike: It's the least I could do after you saved my life in Tel Aviv. Derek: We all saved each other in Tel Aviv. I couldn't have done anything without you pointing the bomber out or Carrie being a genius. I thought for sure I was nuts. Derek catches his breath. Derek: So why did an epipen help? I'm not allergic to--damnit, wait, yes I am. Charlie: Not to anything here, are you? Derek: One of those was a cayenne pepper, wasn't it? That must have been-- Charlie: Damnit, of course. Team confessional, Charlie and Derek. Derek: I was an idiot. I knew I was allergic to cayenne pepper; I had to go to the hospital for it two years ago. But I didn't think about it, and I forgot that the Portuguese brought cayenne peppers to China. Charlie: I hate to make you feel more like an idiot, but they use those things in General Tso's Chicken, and you haven't been able to eat Chinese food for years. Derek: Of course. I'm so dumb. Cut to Kick; by now, all four teams, including Reggie and Dan, are finished. The observer hands Derek, who seems to have regained his strength, the clue. Derek (still a little raspy): Follow this map to a campsite-- Cut to Phil at a campsite area reminiscent of Survivor camp areas. Phil: Teams must follow a guided path to a campsite along the Yangtze River and wait for all other teams to arrive. The order in which they arrive along with the time between arrivals will be preserved. Cut to Kick. Charlie: Let's go. I'll drive; Derek, you rest. Cut to Bite; Jeffrey pulls in a fish while Tina and Jim collect their third fish. Alex and Elena have two fish, and Jeffrey and Bryan have their third. Bryan and Jim receive their clues. Bryan: Follow this map to a campsite along the Yangtze River. Jim: Wait there for other teams? What is this, an Intersection? Bryan: Can't be. There's an odd number of teams. Jim: Well, we better move; someone might get eliminated in mid-leg. Jeffrey looks at him confused. Jim: What? It's happened. Jeffrey: No it hasn't. (confessional) Jim: I didn't feel like correcting Jeffrey, but in one season, a team got eliminated in the middle of the first leg. Cut to Bite; Alex and Elena, currently in last place, have caught their third fish. Alex drops it in the bucket, and the fisherman hands them their next clue. Elena: Follow this map to a campsite along the Yangtze River. Alex: We still have a chance. I think. Cut to the Yangtze campsite; the area is mostly barren, but a clue box awaits. Spike and Jennifer, currently in first place, arrive and open the clue. Spike: Roadblock. Who wants to be rewarded? Cut to Phil in front of what appears to be a Survivor challenge set. Phil: In this Roadblock. the chosen player will participate in a reward challenge in a special crossover with Survivor: China. How well the players do will determine when they can leave the campsite and proceed to their next destination. Cut to the campsite. Spike: I'll do it. Jennifer: Figures. You like your rewards. Arriving next are Charlie and Derek, currently in second place. Charlie: Roadblock. I don't care what it is; I'll do it. Next up are Carrie and Dana. Carrie: Roadblock. Who wants to be rewarded? You can do it. Dana: You deserve the reward for helping Derek. Carrie: I'll take my reward. Charlie's doing the Roadblock. On their heels are Reggie and Dan. Dan: Roadblock. Who wants to be rewarded? I'll take this one. Next to arrive, neck and neck, are Jeffrey and Bryan accompanied by Tina and Jim. Bryan and Tina take clues at the same time. Bryan: Roadblock. I got this. Tina: Can you do this? Jim: What the hell. Sure. Last to arrive are Alex and Elena, and Elena opens the clue. Elena: Roadblock. Who wants to be rewarded? I'll do it. Cut to a Survivor-style challenge set; there are eight tables with various items and two covers. Jeff Probst stands at the back of the set. Jeff: Come on in, guys! Nine people file in looking hungry and disheveled; upon closer inspection, these are the final nine contestants from Survivor: China. Jeff: Are you ready to get to today's challenge? The group responds enthusiastically. Jeff: It is for reward. On my go, you will be paired off into matches of two people each. Here's how it works. You will place one of four items under the cover on the table. You see here a pair of hands, a throwing star, and a sword. If each person plays the same object, the results are nullified. However, if you each play something different, something happens. The throwing star beats the sword, and the player with the throwing star scores a point. The sword beats the hands, and the player with the sword scores a point. The hands beat the throwing star, and though no point is scored, the player gains a throwing star. You can also play the white star, which adds a throwing star to your arsenal; however, it makes you vulnerable to the sword and the throwing star. One twist is that you can steal your opponent's sword by playing three throwing stars at once. After that, your opponent cannot use a sword, and you can use both to inflict double damage. The first player to four points in a match wins; the last player standing wins reward. Wanna know what you're playing for? The tribe claps joyously, but some are a bit confused. Jeff: The last Survivor standing gets to go to an ancient Chinese city for the day. You will spend the day there and enjoy an authentic Chinese meal. In addition, the winner will receive this bamboo tube with an important note inside. Worth playing for? The tribe nods and chimes in with agreement. Jeff: There is just one more detail. Jeff turns to a path leading into the site. Jeff: Come on in, teams! Led by Spike and Jennifer, the seven Race teams file in; bringing up the rear are Alex and Elena, the last-place team. Jeff: Survivors, you will be competing tournament-style with these seven teams. One member of each team will be in the tournament, so you will each have to win four matches to reach the end. These teams are from the upcoming season of the Amazing Race and are stopping here for the challenge. Charlie: I try to get out, but you keep pulling me back in. Jeff: Those of you who are Survivor fans should recognize Charlie from the previous two seasons; he's teamed up with his son Derek. Seven Survivors will play in the first round against someone from one of these teams. Racers, you will be competing for time credit. For every match you win, you get to leave here 15 minutes earlier; if you go all the way, you may get to leave immediately. Also, I have one more surprise. Jeff pulls the cover off a table that has some Chinese artifacts and symbols along with the Travelocity roaming gnome. Jeff: Whoever wins the entire challenge gets a ten-day trip to China that they can enjoy after the game. This is for anyone here. You will fly to Hong Kong and spend five days, staying at the InterContinental Grand Stanford, and then you will travel to Macau and spend five nights, staying at the Venetian Macau Resort. Worth playing for? Everyone cheers and claps. Jeff: Charlie and Derek, I know you guys; for the rest of the Racers, I'll need to know your names when you tell me who's playing. Cut to the players taking their seats; the focus is on the table where Spike sits across from Courtney. Courtney: What the hell are you supposed to be? Spike: I'm the girl who's kicking your bony ass. Jeff: The matches are as follows: Spike vs. Courtney, Charlie vs. Jean-Robert, Dana vs. Peih-Gee, Dan vs. Todd, Bryan vs, Erik, Jim vs. Denise, Elena vs. James, and Amanda vs. Frosti. Noticeably, Courtney is chuckling. Courtney (laughing): Your name's Spike? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I bet you're a raging lesbian. Spike: You want to make something of it? Courtney: Yeah. I want to see you make something out of that Halloween costume you call a face. Spike: It's a little thing called style. Look into it. Jeff: Looks like we have our first official rivalry. Spike and Courtney just plain don't like each other. Let's get to it. Everyone knows the rules; get ready to place your first item. All sixteen participants place their items. Jeff: Reveal. Notably, Spike places a sword while Courtney places a white throwing star. Jeff: Round one of our blood feud goes to Spike. Others scoring points are Charlie, Peih-Gee, Erik, Elena, and Frosti. Peih-Gee and Elena, you're out of throwing stars. The next round begins. Cut to several tables; the point values for each table increase, and several players reach three points. Jeff: With this reveal, Charlie, Todd, Erik, Elena, and Frosti can put it away. Reveal. Charlie plays a sword; Jean-Robert plays hands. Jeff: Charlie wins the match! Dan reveals a black throwing start; Todd plays hands. Jeff: Todd steals Dan's throwing star. Erik wraps it up, but Elena and Frosti can't close the deal. Cut to a new set of scores; Spike and Courtney are tied at three, and so are Dana and Peih-Gee. Todd still has three, as do Jim, Elena, and Frosti. Jeff: Reveal. Both Spike and Courtney play white stars. Dana plays a throwing star to Peih-Gee's sword. Jeff: Dana wins the match. Todd wins the match. Todd has a sword to Dan's hands. Jeff: Jim wins the match. Jim has a throwing star to Denise's sword. Jeff: James ties the score at three, and Frosti can't close the deal. Cut to a new set of scores. Jeff: Reveal. James plays a throwing star to Elena's sword. Jeff: James wins the match. Elena: Damn. Jeff: Amanda ties the score. Spike and Courtney are still deadlocked; both used a sword. Cut to a new set of scores; each game is tied at three. Jeff: Reveal. Amanda has a sword to Frosti's white star. Jeff: Amanda wins the match. Spike uses a three-star attack; Courtney uses a white star. Jeff: Spike wins the match. Courtney: Go to hell. Jeff: But the barbs continue. Cut to a smaller challenge set; only four tables remain. Jeff: This round, we have Spike against Dana, Charlie against James, Todd against Erik, and Jim against Amanda. Get ready for your first attack. All eight remaining players place. Jeff: Reveal. Spike plays a sword and Dana a pair of hands. Jeff: Spike not letting up. Charlie gives up his first point. Todd and Jim score, too Cut to a future score; Spike has a 3-2 edge on Dana, Charlie is up 3-1 on James, Todd and Erik are tied at 3-3, and Jim and Amanda are tied at 2-2. Jeff: Reveal. Dana uses a throwing star while Spike uses a pair of hands; Charlie uses a sword to James' hands, Todd uses a throwing star to Erik's sword, and Jim and Amanda both use swords. Jeff: Charlie wins the match! Todd wins the match! Spike steals Dana's throwing star, and Jim and Amanda are in a dead heat. Cut to a few seconds later; Spike, Dana, Jim, and Amanda have all placed. Jeff: Reveal. Spike uses a throwing star to Dana's sword, and Jim uses a sword to Amanda's hands. Jeff: Spike wins the match! Jim is one away! Cut to a few seconds later. Jeff: Reveal. Jim uses three stars to Amanda's sword. Jeff: Jim wins the match! With that, Todd wins the Survivor reward, but he can still play for the trip! Cut to a smaller set; only two tables remain. Spike is across from Jim, and Charlie is across from Todd. Jeff: Todd, you have a tall order here beating Charlie. Jim, if what I know of Spike is true, so do you. Everyone places an item. Jeff: Reveal. Jim plays a sword to Spike's white star; Charlie plays a sword to Todd's throwing star. Charlie: Damn. Jeff: Jim and Todd score! Cut to the future; Todd is up 3-2 on Charlie, and Jim is up 3-0 on Spike. Jeff: Jim and Todd can put it away. Everyone places. Jeff: Reveal. Both Jim and Spike place swords; Todd places a white star. Charlie places a sword. Jeff: Charlie pulls even, and Spike can't score. Everyone places again. Jeff: Reveal. Todd uses a throwing star. Charlie uses hands. Both Jim and Spike use swords. Jeff: Jim can't put it away, and Charlie turns the tables on Todd. Everyone places again. Jeff: Reveal. Charlie plays a throwing start; Todd plays a white star. Jeff: Charlie wins the match! Jim plays a sword; Spike plays a white star. Jeff: Jim wins the match! Spike: I got killed. Shouldn't have played the white star. Courtney: You lose, bitch. Spike: You lose worse, anorexic bitch. Jeff: No love lost between these two. Cut to the final table; Jim faces Charlie. Jeff: Jim against Charlie for the trip; all the Survivors are out of this. Racers ready? Place. Each places an item. Jeff: Reveal. Jim plays a sword to Charlie's white star. Jeff: Jim gets in a point. Go again. Jim plays the sword again; Charlie smiles as he reveals a white star. Jeff: Jim scores again! Charlie, what are you doing? Charlie: You'll see. Jeff: Reveal. Charlie plays three stars; Jim plays a single star. Charlie: Didn't work. Jim: Not this time. Jeff: Charlie scores a point, but it's a Pyrrhic victory. Go again. Charlie plays a sword to Jim's white star. Jeff: Charlie scores again! We're tied at two! Jim and Charlie place items again. Jeff: Reveal. Charlie places a sword and Jim a white star. Jeff: Charlie ahead three-two! One more and Charlie's going to Hong Kong and Macau! Charlie, are you taking Derek or Paula? Charlie: I might have to take Danni. Both the Survivors and Racers laugh; Jeff appears to double over laughing. Jeff: One more point and Charlie's got a second date with Danni. Reveal. Charlie plays a sword and Jim three stars. Jeff: Jim gets Charlie's sword and we're tied at three! The game just changed again! Charlie and Jim place again. Jeff: Reveal. Charlie uses a throwing star; Jim uses hands. Jeff: Charlie out of stars and options! Jim: I'm just going to use a sword next, so sorry Charlie. Jeff: Jim wins the trip! Jeff hands Jim the Travelocity gnome and holds his arm up. Jeff: Todd, as the highest finishing Survivor, you need to pick three people going on reward with you. Todd: I'll take...Amanda, James, and...hmmm... Todd thinks hard, inhaling loudly through his teeth. Todd: I'll take Jean-Robert. Jeff: Todd, Amanda, James, and Jean-Robert, the boat's waiting for you. For the rest of the Survivors, I've got nothing for you. Head on back to camp. Race teams, I'll give you your clues and release you according to my time sheets. Amanda: Hey Charlie, before we head out, can I have Ozzy's phone number? Charlie: Yeah, why not? Hey Jeff, I bet you keep that thing lying around in case of emergency. Jeff: Around here, we just shine a big flashlight in the sky and he comes swimming. The entire crowd laughs at Jeff's joke. Charlie: Come on, guys. Let's pack it in--OK, Derek, this is a little ridiculous. A quick flash shows Carrie on Derek's lap; the two are kissing passionately. Charlie: I need a crowbar to keep those two apart. Jeff: Derek, are you sure Danni's OK with this? Derek breaks the kiss in a bit of a daze. Derek: I'm sorry, did you say something? I had my tongue in Carrie's mouth. More laughter from those on the beach. Jeff: I have my answer. Derek, you and your dad are leaving first. Save the make-out party for the Pit Stop and head on out. A few people high-five Jim, including Charlie and Carrie; Derek and Carrie walk to the clue box hand-in-hand, laughing. The screen cuts to commercial.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 07-28-08, 08:48 AM (EST) 4. "The Amazing Race: Expedition Episode 10 - "You Think We'll Get A Lot Of Looks There For Being Bald?"" Blog Entry, 11/20/2008 Authored by: Danni Boatwright, tonganoxiegirl Jeff said it - this is getting a little ridiculous. I think the whole Carrie-Derek romance was more of a joke than anything before Tel Aviv (which seems to be the 9/11-esque code word for the suicide bombing) and more of a hot and heavy issue since. Carrie told me on the phone that the kiss in Cardiff was intended to be a joke and a way to break the ice with Charlie and Derek; she and Dana had their eyes on my guys for strategic reasons. Carrie's come-ons to Derek, as she confesses, were just for show, and although she said Derek's an attractive guy (which is a little like saying water is wet,) she wasn't really trying to seduce him. Apparently in Oakland, climbing on a guy while wearing nothing but stripper heels and a g-string (which she swore she packed just for luck) is a friendly gesture that is in no way sexual. But hey, Derek forgave me for what I did to his father, so trying to convince him to cheat on me wasn't exactly unforgivable. After Tel Aviv? Apparently a near-death experience brings people closer, in a lot of ways. In the Army, it usually makes brothers out of people. In this case, Derek tells me he and Carrie would have clung to me and Rex, respectively, but all they had was each other. Figures...it's karma telling me I should have said yes when Derek asked me to go on the Race with him. Now I have to compete with a gorgeous former stripper with a pierced tongue. Sorry, Carrie; I know you don't like to talk about stripping your way through college, and to this day, she still doesn't like most white-collar men, but that's the whole reason behind the stripper outfit - she considers it lucky. Part of it is that she can still fit into it, a testament to how great her body still is. Part of it is that it's how she met her husband, and considering her son is no longer with us, it's not as if she ended up gaining a whole lot out of that marriage other than a desire to date outside her "type." You're welcome, Rex. Seeing this spectacle last night made me decide to book Carrie's flight out here - December 12 she comes out, the weekend of Derek's last games before Christmas. I'll be joining them during that time, but it'll be like I'm not even there. I just hope it doesn't interfere with Derek's game - it's hard to top being undefeated. I'm just happy he still kisses me like that. Blog Entry, 11/20/2008 Authored by: Natasha Gordeeva, russianprincess Well, there you have it. All the fiction writers have just gotten their wish, and Carrie's all over Derek. It's as of this entire episode is the story of them, with a few side stories like Derek's near-fatal cayenne pepper experience (you might think he would want to avoid all peppers in that case, but I guess his story was that the cayenne pepper isn't native to China.) That and I'm still sore about Dana not getting that trip to China; I've always wanted to go to Hong Kong. Well, OK, not really. I'll wait for her hair to grow back - and Dana's been wearing a wig for the past few months to cover her former baldness. She just didn't feel like being asked if she got cancer or joined a cult or if she decided she wasn't part of the "lipstick" faction of lesbians anymore. Thanks, but even if they don't have a chance, we do still enjoy the attention and free drinks from guys. Besides, some of them are actually nice and good for a conversation before we drop the L-bomb on them. Dana will be chatting with a guy who thinks he has a shot, and then she calls me over and introduces me. The words, "This is Tasha, my girlfriend," usually draw a bit of surprise from a guy, as if to say, "Did she mean 'friend' or 'someone she's dating?'" Not until we show them the matching rings do they get it that they just got burned. Really, if anything, we just do it for the looks on their faces. I'm getting kind of sick of being asked if Dana or I has ever hooked up with Carrie, though. Yes, we get it; she's incredibly sexy, she's a former stripper, and we both got A's in her class. No, that doesn't mean she's into girls or somehow has a vendetta against all men. Just some men. It's why she clothes lined Bryan - revenge. And a few years of self-defense training. And a height advantage. It's also why Derek's seen more of her than Dana or I ever will, so we have to go on what Derek and Rex say about her. Apparently, she's telling the truth when she says that she has six piercings that can't be seen when she's clothed. Let me rephrase that - six piercings that even I didn't see when I saw her on the beach in her sexy two-piece. A girl can dream, though. Sorry, I was drooling. I'll need to clean that up. Back from commerical. Jeff: Race teams, I'll give you your clues and release you according to my time sheets. The screen shows the following release times: Charlie and Derek: 2:30 pm Tina and Jim: 2:35 pm Spike and Jennifer: 2:42 pm Carrie and Dana: 3:01 pm Reggie and Dan: 3:17 pm Jeffrey and Bryan: 3:35 pm Alex and Elena: 3:40 pm Time: 2:29 pm. Jeff is standing and chatting with Charlie and Derek. Jeff: Charlie and Derek, you're heading out first. I have your clue right here. Derek: Thanks, Jeff. Carrie, I'll be seeing you at the Pit Stop. Jeff: Derek, you worked so hard to be with Danni, and here you are climbing all over another woman. What gives? Derek: It's a long story, Jeff. Danni and I are fine. Carrie: It's my idea, everyone. Jeff: OK, guys. Carrie and Dana won't be leaving with Charlie and Derek, unfortunately. Dana (arm around Spike): It's OK; I can wait. Spike: I can definitely wait. Jeff: You have got to be kidding me. Jeff hands Charlie the clue; they take it and run to the clue box. Charlie: Travel to the Shaolin Monastery-- Cut to Phil standing in front of the Shaolin Monastery; several monks are practicing martial arts. Phil: When Jeff Probst releases them, teams will need to travel to the nearby Shaolin Monastery and reach the opening gate where a monk will be waiting for them. Once there, they will be walked through a series of kung fu moves, and when they master each one, the monk will escort them to the Pit Stop on the monastery grounds. Cut to Charlie and Derek. Derek (impersonating Keanu Reeves): I know kung fu. Charlie: Like hell you do. A few minutes later, Jeff hands Tina the clue; he grazes her hand and she jolts it back. Jeff: Sorry; are you OK? Tina (stammering): Y-yeah, I'm f-fine. Jeff: Take it easy out there. Tina opens the clue. Tina: Travel to the Shaolin Monastery and find the front gate. You will be walked through a series of kung fu moves. Jim: Just what my knee doesn't need. A few minutes later, Spike and Jennifer are due to be released. Jeff: Sorry, Dana, but you'll have to wait until the Pit Stop, too. Hey Spike, did you borrow those boots from Loser Lodge? Spike: Why, is there another punk rocker on your show? Jeff: Pro wrestler, actually. Spike: Give her my e-mail address. Jeff: I'll be sure to do that. Jennifer takes the clue. Jennifer: Travel to the Shaolin Monastery. Look, there's a map here. Spike: What makes you think I can read a map? Jennifer: Shut up and eat candy and let's go. Soon after, Carrie and Dana take their clue from Jeff. Jeff: You're fourth to leave, and if you run fast enough, you can catch Derek and Spike. Dana: I'm just playing around with Spike; I have a girlfriend. Spike and I are just friends. Carrie takes the clue to a distance from the others. Carrie: Travel to the Shaolin Monastery. Says here we have to do kung fu. Dana: Good thing I've been losing weight. Cut to the Shaolin Monastery; Charlie and Derek, currently in first place, arrive at the gate. Monk: Welcome to the Shaolin Monastery. Please come with me and I will teach you kung fu. Team confessional, Charlie and Derek. Derek: I've never done martial arts in my life. I usually don't do a lot of fancy jumping or anything for hockey, so I was a little out of my element. Charlie: As opposed to me, who does this every day. Derek: Right. Of course. Cut to Charlie and Derek. The monk shows them a high leg kick, which Charlie manages to duplicate but causes Derek to fall. Derek: This is tough. As Derek falls down again, Tina and Jim arrive right ahead of Spike and Jennifer. Two monks take them back, and immediately, Jim starts to wince in pain. (confessional) Jim: My knee started to hurt again, but it's almost to the point where I don't even notice any difference. I'm always in pain. Cut to all three teams practicing; Derek throws up a hand block while Spike does a leg kick. Jim, in awe, watches his monk do the same, and he kicks his right leg in the air while most other teams used their left. Monk: You use your other leg. Jim: I have a bad knee. I have to use this leg. Monk: Very well. Team confessional, Tina and Jim. Tina: Jim was impressive. I never knew he had it in him to do kung fu, but bad knee or no, he pulled it off. Jim: I got lucky. Everyone else was falling all over the place. Tina: And we weren't. Cut to Tina and Jim before a board placed on cement blocks; the board is noticeably thin. Monk: Break this with your hands and I will take you to check in. In the background, Derek masters a catching move, and the monk goes to get the boards and cement blocks. Jim swiftly breaks his board; Tina appears more apprehensive. Tina: How the hell do you expect me to do that? Jim: Just bring your arm down really quickly like this. At this same time, Reggie and Dan arrive at the monastery, and a monk takes them in. Dan: Did we miss something--wait. We have to do that? Tina smashes the board with her hands; it breaks in half. Team confessional, Reggie and Dan. Dan: People just shouldn't do that with their hands. That's crazy. Reggie: But we have to do it if that's what they want. Cut to Reggie and Dan trying to master the leg kick; neither keeps their balance. Dan: What the hell is this? Cut to Phil at the Pit Stop with another monk at his side. Monk: Welcome to Shaolin Monastery. Phil: Tina and Jim... He raises his eyebrow and smiles. Phil: ...you're team number ONE! Jim pumps his fist and exchanges a fist-pound with Phil; Tina appears out of breath. Phil: Now I have some good news. As the winners of this leg of the Race, you have won a seven-night trip to Shanghai, China for Chinese New Year. Jim: That's awesome. That's right at the start of the off-season; I'll need a vacation. Phil: I also understand you won another trip. Tina: Jim won it. We're going to be here in China a lot. Cut to Charlie and Derek trying to break the boards; Charlie uses his left hand and fails to break it. He grabs his arm in pain. Charlie: Damnit, son of a bitch, why the hell did I use this damn arm? Derek: You OK, Dad? Charlie: This is the arm I dropped the tire jack on. I guess it didn't heal. Team confessional, Charlie and Derek. Charlie: I'm an idiot, too. Derek almost got himself killed, and I almost got my arm broken. I should have used my good arm, but for reasons known only to God, I used my bad arm. Derek: We'll get some ice on it, Dad. You'll be fine. If Jim made it this far on an injured knee, you should be fine. Charlie: I'll have Tina look at it or something. Cut to the monastery; Charlie takes another swing at the board with his good arm but fails again. Derek's board is already broken. A quick pan to Spike and Jennifer shows Jennifer breaking her board; Spike's is already broken. The monk motions them back. A pan to Carrie and Dana shows Carrie having smashed her board. Carrie: Put your arm flat and bring it down like you're smashing it with a hammer. Dana: You ever see a hammer as fat as my arms? Carrie: Come on, Dana. You can do it. Dana takes another swing at the board; at the same time, Charlie breaks his. Dana's comes crashing to the ground in two pieces. Both monks escort their teams back to the Pit Stop. Cut to the Pit Stop, where Spike and Jennifer are arriving. Phil: Spike and Jennifer...you're team number two! Spike joyously kisses Jennifer and the two squeal in delight. Phil: So are you and the other teams that were in the bombing still together? Spike: I think so. We didn't see much of Tina and Jim, but at least there are three teams. Following closely behind are Charlie and Derek; Carrie is riding on Derek's back, and Dana is on Charlie's. Charlie is still in pain. Charlie and Derek motion to Carrie and Dana to take their places on the mat. Phil: Carrie and Dana...you're team number three! Charlie and Derek, you're team number four! Dana jumps up and kisses Charlie on the cheek; Carrie kisses Derek on the lips. Phil: Jeff told me there are a lot of sparks between you two. Carrie, is that-- Phil is interrupted by seeing Carrie kiss Derek and slide her hands under his shirt. She starts to moan softly, and Derek stops her as she reaches for his belt buckle; he breaks the kiss. Derek: Easy, baby. Carrie: To answer your question, Phil, we went through a lot together. He's lucky I don't have my way with him right here. Phil: You guys are both in relationships. How do you think they'll take this? Derek: I'll figure that out when I get home. I can't exactly undo this. Charlie: Come on, lovebirds. Carrie, you can tear Derek's clothes off here at the Pit Stop. Carrie: Oh, believe me, I intend to. Carrie winks at Derek and grabs his hand as the teams head back. Cut to the monastery gateway; Reggie and Dan are still trying to master the kick while Alex and Elena have arrived along with Jeffrey and Bryan. Jeffrey kicks high and lands perfectly; Bryan lands the move more awkwardly. Bryan: I didn't know you were so flexible. Jeffrey: Ten years of cheerleading. Bryan: When why aren't you perkier? Jeffrey: Because I decided after a while I hate those people. Bryan: Fair enough. Now try catching stuff. At the same time, Alex catches an object thrown by the monk; Elena misses. Jeffrey catches, but it falls out of Bryan's hands. Jeffrey: Nice catch. (confessional) Bryan: This hasn't been my best leg. I should know China, but I'm completely out of my element, and I got killed at the Roadblock. I just hope we stay in it. Cut to Reggie and Dan; Reggie perfects the leg kick, but Dan is still struggling. Dan: Damnit, I'm too fat for this. Reggie: One swift motion, Dan. Dan: All too often that motion puts me on the ground. Reggie: I know what you mean. Dan swings his leg up again but falls once more. Dan: How do people do this? Team confessional, Reggie and Dan. Dan: The downfall of the Race for me ended up being kung fu. I've done plenty of harder things than this, but for whatever reason, kung fu sank me. Reggie: I got lucky, but I couldn't exactly work ahead; I had to wait for Dan to catch up. Cut to Alex and Elena in front of their boards; Jeffrey and Bryan are working on theirs as well. Alex and Bryan crush their boards; Elena cracks hers, but Jeffrey does no damage the first time. Bryan: Straight down. Hand parallel to your arm. Jeffrey: I know what I'm doing. Bryan: Then do it. Elena breaks her board as she and Alex run to their monk; in the background, Dan lands his high kick. Bryan: Hurry up; the Hogettes are catching up. Cut to the Pit Stop; Alex and Elena are arriving. Phil: Alex and Elena...you're team number five! Alex wraps up Elena as she kisses him. Phil: Was this a tough leg? Elena: We're out in the middle of nowhere in China. How much more remote can it get? Cut to Jeffrey with her board; Dan catches an object while Reggie looks on. The monk goes to get the cement blocks and boards. Jeffrey brings her arm down. She strikes the board. It breaks swiftly in half. She grabs her arm in pain but runs to the monk. Reggie: Damnit, we're done. Cut to the Pit Stop; Jeffrey, still in some pain, arrives with Bryan. Phil: Jeffrey and Bryan...you're team number six! Jeffrey holds her hands up to celebrate but grabs her right arm. Phil: What happened to your arm? Jeffrey: I had to smash a board with my bare hands and you want to know what happened to my arm? Phil: It could have been anything. Cut to Reggie and Dan; on his second attempt, Dan smashes the board. Reggie's is already smashed, and the monk escorts them back. Cut to the Pit Stop, where Phil is waiting. Greeter: Welcome to the Shaolin Monastery. Reggie and Dan: Thank you. Phil: Reggie and Dan...you are the last team to arrive. Phil gives a solemn gaze and looks slightly downward. Phil: I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the Race. Reggie: We did OK. We got a trip. Team confessional, Reggie and Dan. Reggie: I didn't really expect to win, especially when I saw the crowd of people we were facing, but I promised the Hogettes that we would win a trip, and we did. Dan: I think our charities will be happy with a trip to Vancouver Island, and we should bring in a few thousand dollars and some attention. Cut to Reggie and Dan at the Pit Stop; both have put on Redskins jerseys and pig noses. The credits begin to roll. Phil (voice-over): Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode. The screen cuts to commercial. Episode 10: Elimination Station Summary Authored by: Dr. Rage It looks like, as cold and ruthless as Hayley and Alexis are, they got one thing right - Reggie and Dan were the next to be eliminated, and it looks like Spike and Jennifer are on the fast track to a win. Derek's uncoordinated attempts to do kung fu shot Tina and Jim up to the top of the list, and Spike and Jennifer were the highest-finishing team not to have anyone with a bum knee. But enough about the Race itself. The flight from China to Guam was a lot shorter than the various flights from anywhere else to Guam that eliminated teams have taken, and Reggie and Dan were self-described "geezers," so when they got to the house, they were sore, tired, and actually willing to sleep in the same bed if it meant that they didn't have to wake up until they were needed in the Final Destination City. The rest of the house had other ideas, though, and Leilani was very pleased to be reunited with her "tomodachi" Dan. Dan, naturally, wonders how he got turned into one of those little electronic pets that middle school girls used to put on their purses in the 1990s, but from the look he was giving Leilani, he'd hang from her keychain any day. Unfortunately for Dan, Leilani was simply calling Dan her "friend" in Japanese. Well, duh, Dan. Don't you speak fluent Japanese? The first faux pas Dan makes, other than not knowing that Leilani doesn't really think of him in that way, was to gripe that he and Reggie were the oldest team there. I guess Team BMX is officially chopped liver, and Bob wasn't too happy with that remark. Debra calmed him down, however, and reminded him that Dan was just complimenting them on their youthful exuberance. Bob sighed, threw his arms up, and explained that they at least weren't exhausted when they got to Guam. That's, of course, because they couldn't keep their eyes open on the flight over. Bob was so exhausted once they touched down in Port Lockroy that he almost fell asleep before they got him into the helicopter to Santiago, and production almost had to carry him on board the plane to Guam. Naturally, by the time they arrived, Bob was refreshed and ready to do what he and Debra always do when they're not working or riding bikes - sit around and watch old movies. Also, the new arrivals got to compare prizes while the other five teams had to sit and listen to what they could have won if they didn't suck at this game. Hayley was thrilled with the home gym she won, but she's concerned that there won't be a place to put it in her apartment. Alexis said she doesn't have that problem; the only concern is keeping the door to that room locked so her boyfriend doesn't use it. She explained that she hates using sweaty equipment and that, if her boyfriend uses it too much, he'll get too strong and she won't be able to "put him in his place." I should add that Alexis will not be appearing on the next edition of Last Comic Standing. Bobby said that he can't wait for his iPhone and he intends to send Caroline "a million text messages a day." Caroline insinuated that she would block Bobby's number if he did anything like that and that it was "bad enough he was going to sit around at home in his underwear watching TV and playing with his iPhone all day" now. Sure doesn't take much to keep that guy entertained. All the while, Hayley is down to a sports bra and a pair of bike shorts and doing chin-ups on this oddly-placed metal bar in the living room. Bobby's eyes are not exactly focused on his girlfriend at that moment. Nor are anyone else's. Reggie and Dan's news about their prize was cut short when they announced their plan for it - it was to be auctioned off and the proceeds given to charity. Most people think that's a good idea and that they're nice guys for doing so, but a couple of people (read: Alexis and Bobby) think they're just doing that to act like they're "better than everyone else." Reggie insists that he's not trying to guilt other teams into donating their prizes, though he did point out that anyone who wanted to donate them was free to do so; it was something they felt like they needed to do because of their position as Hogettes. Apparently, no one there watches professional football, so they have to explain what they do. First came the fact that they wore dresses and pig snouts to football games, a story that gets a few strange looks from the house. The follow-up to that was that they do a lot of charity work, something that Reggie got involved in because of his son, who has recovered from leukemia. Jamal quickly blurts out that Carrie's boyfriend has leukemia, a fact that just about everyone there knew, although, just to liven the mood, Dan fires back with, "How does Derek play hockey with leukemia?" Even the icy Alexis chuckled at that, and no one was surprised when Dan informed them that Derek and Carrie couldn't keep off of each other from Tel Aviv to the Shaolin Monastery. Jamal, being the most graceful speaker, replied, "Wait. I thought she had a boyfriend." The rest of the house will never let him live that one down. According to Reggie, the make-out-fest that was shown on TV was edited to a minimum, after the pepper incident, Carrie washed her mouth out with Scope and everything else she could think of just so it wouldn't have to stop. I'd go into more detail about all the kissing, groping, and why-don't-they-just-get-naked-and-do-it-already action, but I'd end up wanting to punch Derek for being with a mega-hottie like Carrie while he’s' also dating a mega-hottie like Danni. Bastard. A few people were shocked by Derek's incident with the pepper, and Reggie called Spike a "hero" for recommending the use of an epipen on Derek, since she recognized what happened to Derek as an allergic reaction even before the medic did. Derek didn't list any food allergies on the way into the show, but Spike did, and she remembered the last time she ate a mushroom vividly and reacted as if she was saving her own life. Alexis almost broke down at this point, saying, "And I was such a bitch to her." In the surprise of the century, a crying Alexis tells the house Spike's secret about her father, which Jennifer told her off camera - he was, indeed, murdered out of revenge; the car accident story was a cover. Alexis goes on to tell everyone that Spike is a "genuine person." The story grabs a few tears out of some other members of the house. Of course, Hayley and Alexis swore that they would wait for Spike and the other Solid Gold teams to tell their stories, but since one story's out in the open, I guess they all had to be. By the end of the evening, the whole house was crying, miserable, and wanting to go kill someone. Hayley remarked that "Tina's uncle had better hope he didn't flee to Guam; I'll find him and kill his perverted ass." As a side note, Tina's uncle is, in fact, the only person out of those who hurt the Solid Gold members not to be brought to justice in some fashion - the man who shot Jim was killed a week later in a gang fight, the men who killed Spike's father are in prison, the soldiers who shot Charlie and killed his friend were killed immediately, and Carrie's ex-husband was arrested two weeks ago on serious drug-related charges and DUI. The cry-fest, which brought even the stoic Darius down, ended as quickly as it began, and Alexis told the house, "The first person who tells anyone out of this house that I cried like a baby dies." Dan dries out his tears and tells everyone that he's exhausted; Reggie does the same, but he looks at a picture of his wife (who's easily ten years younger than him) and son and mouths "I love you" to them first. According to everyone the next day, Dan snores like a freight train. A fed-up Kea came into their room after a few hours and prodded a zonked Dan, who was sprawled out on his back, to "turn the hell over, you fat bastard." Kea denied saying this the next morning, but Reggie got up and moved into another room - the bathroom, where he crashed on the floor. Caroline simply stepped over him in the middle of the night. Naturally, Reggie moved onto the bed when Dan got up, and he continued to sleep. Dan and Leilani sat and chatted for a few hours, and despite Leilani sitting on Dan's lap, nothing happened. Leilani described Dan as a "hell of a nice guy" and "someone I hope to be friends with for the rest of my life," and Dan later said, "She's cute, but I can't imagine dating her. I just like her company." When asked for a comment about Dan and Leilani, Kea replied, "It's her life. She's a smart girl." Reggie, however, turned over and went back to sleep. Back from commercial. Phil (voice-over): On the next episode of the Amazing Race...Alex and Elena feel the pressure. Alex: We're the last team left that isn't Solid Gold. Elena: Or completely evil. Phil (voice-over): Tina and Jim have a breakdown. Jim: I try to help! I try everything! Tina: Try not being a jerk next time! Phil (voice-over): And Derek breaks down. Derek (head in his hands): I'm a complete bastard. Quick cut to Carrie, who gives a cold, serious expression. Voice-over: Stay tuned for an all-new CSI: Miami coming up next. Order of finish: 1. Tina and Jim, 4:09 pm 2. Spike and Jennifer, 4:12 pm 3. Carrie and Dana, 4:17 pm 4. Charlie and Derek, 4:18 pm 5. Alex and Elena, 4:37 pm 6. Jeffrey and Bryan, 4:54 pm 7. Reggie and Dan, 4:58 pm   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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