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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 04-22-08, 02:22 PM (EST) "The Amazing Race: Episode 5 - "I Suppose You Speak Swiss, Too"" INTERVIEW: "The Amazing Race"'s Steve and Darius Brooks Talk Father and son Steve and Darius Brooks were caught napping at the start of the Cardiff, Wales leg and never fully recovered, playing the entire leg from behind. As a result, the 48-year-old writer from Winnipeg, MB, and the 27-year-old restaurant manager from Hitchcock, SD, became the third team to be eliminated from the current Amazing Race season, having squandered an opportunity to get back into the Race at the Roadblock. On Thursday, Steve and Darius spoke with Reality TV World about their experience on the Amazing Race, why they felt that they disappointed themselves, and how their once-strained relationship has healed. Reality TV World: How were you cast for The Amazing Race: Expedition? Steve: We applied originally for the second season of the show. Darius and I were really close at the time, and we loved the show, so we sent in a tape and reached the semifinals before we had to drop out of the casting process. Darius: My mother became really ill, and she died soon after, so it was for the best that we didn't go then. Besides, if we had a showing then like we did now, we would hate ourselves forever. RTVW: How did you guys prepare for the show? Darius: We didn't. At least I didn't. I went in just winging it. It's like preparing to win your NCAA Tournament pool. The less you do, the better your odds are, or that's how I thought of it. Might have been why we were out third. Steve: I studied up on several countries, their languages, and their key points of reference. It would have done a lot of good if we had gone to India or Argentina, but strangely, I missed Brazil. Darius: Wouldn't have done us any good anyway; Derek and Elena knew everything about Rio, and we managed to stay out of last. RTVW: {"Married Couple" Debra and Bob Newman} said that they were far more interested in {"Dating Couple" Eric Stein and Jessica Hughbanks} then in {"Father and Son" Charlie and Derek Forrest}. What was your reaction to the two familiar teams? Steve: When we got to sequester, I told Eric and Jessica that I had never seen their season and wasn't familiar with them. Darius told me a little about Charlie on the fly, but we didn't know much about Derek. To me, they were just two teams who were competing with us. Darius: I wasn't much of a fan of Charlie on either season, but I was familiar with him, so I didn't feel that star struck. The biggest thing I noticed was, "Wow, Derek's huge. He's a threat." RTVW: Debra and Bob said that Antarctica really was that cold and that dark. What was it like at Port Lockroy? Darius: We were warned about the weather going in. When we got there, we had to make sure that the boat's heat worked and that we didn't emerge until we were bundled up. Steve: I think one team ignored that and almost had to be treated for hypothermia, but we were fine with it. {EDITOR'S NOTE: "Ex-Girlfriends" Allison "Spike" Blades and Jennifer Ellsworth were not completely bundled up at that Pit Stop; Spike was dressed in her normal clothing. She had mild wind burn, but she did not have to be treated.} RTVW: After your fast start, how hard was it to be playing from the back of the pack for most of the time you were there? Darius: I think that was our problem; we felt like we were doing everything we could, and it wasn't enough; we were still at the back of the pack. If we had just gone with it, we might have been more successful. Steve: Considering our competition, I think we were in the back because we were less physically strong than a lot of other teams. It didn't cause us to lose, but it did cause us not to be at the front a lot. RTVW: Were there any teams you initially butted heads with? What about teams you got along with well? Steve: You could tell we ended up not having any use for {"Married Couple" Jeffrey and Bryan Masters} by the time we were out. The comment to me just told me Bryan was stupid, bigoted, and ignorant, but that wasn't what bothered me about him. Darius: When we found out he put Spike in the hospital, we were ready to go back and pound him. We were out of the Race already, so our standing wouldn't be affected, and it would be worth it to give up our prize just to get in a shot at him. Steve: As far as teams we got along with well, I think we got along the best with {"Hogettes" Reggie McGowan and Dan August}. It was really hard not to like those two. RTVW: Did you have any alliances with any other teams? Darius: No. There were no alliances, at least not with us. We noticed a few other teams forming alliances, but we decided we could do it best on our own. Steve: I think that's probably why we made most of our friendships in sequester. RTVW: Why did you guys oversleep in Wales? Didn't you have an alarm clock? Steve: We did, and we set it. But I'm notoriously bad with hitting snooze, and that's exactly what I did, only I accidentally turned the alarm off when I did that. Darius: I didn't even hear the alarm, so I just assumed it hadn't gone off, and by the time we were awake, it was too late and the mall was open. Steve: It only cost us about 35 minutes, though; most of the time we lost was at the Detour. RTVW: Were you guys aware that there was a big fight going on in another train car? Darius: No. I had no idea what Jeffrey had said. I knew she was shifty, irritable, and hard to get along with, and I was glad I married someone who's nothing like her, but I had no idea she was a full-fledged racist. Steve: She and Bryan condemn other people for who they are, and that's not cool. Darius: But when I saw it on TV, I applauded Carrie for putting Jeffrey in her place, just as the others there did. RTVW: Before the show, Steve, you said that your relationship with Darius was strained when you came out of the closet. You never went so far as to say that your son was homophobic, however. Do you think he is? Steve: No. Come on. Darius isn't anti-gay. He was upset because I moved on so quickly after his mother died and he didn't. We grieved in our own way. Darius: I felt like he acted as if he was being let out of a cage, and I think that was the biggest problem. I could barely care less if he's gay. It's his life. I heard Jeffrey say some homophobic things last night, and I cringed. RTVW: So is your relationship better since the Race? Darius: Absolutely. I brought him to South Dakota to meet my son for the first time. Steve: Being around my grandson is the best feeling in the world. RTVW: Darius, had you ever told your father that he couldn't see your son? Darius: Of course not. But it never got arranged. RTVW: Judging by CBS.com's Elimination Station, you both seemed to be aware of Spike's trip to the hospital as well as the budding, shall we say, friendship between Charlie and Derek and {"Teacher and Former Student" Carrie Burnside and Dana Quinn}. How did you find out? Steve: {Host Phil Keoghan} told everyone about Spike when they arrived at the Pit Stop. By the time we arrived, she still wasn't out, but we knew she was fine. Darius: On our way out, Phil told us about Carrie kissing Derek. He was laughing the whole time after having contained his laughter at the Pit Stop. I guess it was a lot funnier if you were there. RTVW: From the looks of things, the Roadblock was full-contact and no-holds-barred. Is that true? Darius: Completely. It was under standard rugby rules, and we were told there was some risk of injury. We were also told that it was OK to hit other players within the bounds of the game, but anything done to injure another player would be treated like any other attack. RTVW: Then why wasn't Bryan penalized for ripping out Spike's nose ring? Steve: Because they couldn't prove that he did it on purpose. Believe me, when we found that out, we were pushing to get the two of them out. If they got thrown out, we would be spared. Darius: We tried and tried to tell them that Bryan did it on purpose and to review the tapes, but it felt like the producers were the only ones who believed it was an accident. {EDITOR'S NOTE: The interviewer asked if Steve and Darius felt that the incident was accidental, but a CBS representative refused to allow them to answer. Darius indicated that he was disinclined to do so.} RTVW: At Elimination Station, Darius, you revealed that you had previously been unfaithful to your wife. When did you tell her, and how did she react? Darius: I told her immediately upon returning home. She took it hard, as I expected, and I stayed at a friend's house for about two weeks, but she called and asked me to come home. She forgave me and has since asked me to forgive myself. Steve: Darius took it a lot harder than his wife did. I think it was just the timing of when he did it. His wife almost didn't blame him, since they fought like cats and dogs and actually separated after that for unrelated reasons. RTVW: So what's next for you guys? Back to the restaurant? Darius: For me, yes. I'm looking into opening another location soon, and the million would have been nice for that, but I'll get by. Steve: I'm close to done with a novel I've been working on, and hopefully I can get it published. The Show Begins - air date 10/8/2008 The introductory shot is of Edinburgh, Scotland, mainly of the Royal Mile; the shot changes to Loch Leven Castle at night. Phil (voice-over): Previously on the Amazing Race...twelve teams set out from Edinburgh, Scotland, and took a train to Cardiff, Wales. Jeffrey: You have $45 for this leg of the Race. Bryan: Which might buy lunch here. Phil (voice-over): Bobby and Caroline were over four hours behind the nearest team, but everyone caught the same train. Team confessional, Jeffrey and Bryan. Bryan: When we got to the train station, we found out that there's only one way to Cardiff by train, and everyone was getting on it. Jeffrey: Even those jerks we U-Turned in the last leg had a chance to get on this train. Phil (voice-over): Aboard the train, Ray and Jamal bonded with Carrie and Dana, where Dana revealed a personal secret. Dana: I don't have a boyfriend. I have a girlfriend. Jamal: Uhh...lots of girls have friends they call "girlfriends." I don't get it. Dana: I'm a lesbian, Jamal. I date other women. Phil (voice-over): Ray and Jamal seemed confused by Dana's lifestyle as well as the fact that Carrie was dating someone of another race. Team confessional, Carrie and Dana. Carrie: When Ray said he had never seen an interracial couple, you could have knocked me over with a light breeze. Did he just go to bed in 1956 and wake up today? Dana: It's like we have Biloxi's version of Leave It To Beaver, where no one dates people of other races, and "gay" still means happy. Phil (voice-over): The two teams also bonded with ex-girlfriends Spike and Jennifer. Dana: So you're not a Goth. Everyone always calls you guys the Goths. Spike: I'm not a Goth. I just look really different. I dress like this because I enjoy it. Besides, it's how I got my nickname. Dana: Because of all the metal and the spiked collar and everything? Phil (voice-over): Jeffrey tried to break up the chatter and released an angry tirade at the teams, but Carrie wanted to hear none of it and shut her down. Jeffrey (sternly): Will you people shut up? I'm trying to sleep. I don't need to hear about all the disgusting things you people do at home. Carrie (sharply): I have an idea. Why don't you go to another car? Or jump off the train and take a f------ pack mule to Cardiff and leave us the f--- alone? Jeffrey: I don't have to listen to that from some sick woman who can't get a date among her own kind and has to resort to stealing ours. Carrie (shouting): There's only one "kind" where I come from. Just because I know what love is and you don't doesn't mean you have to go making everyone else as miserable as you are. Now sit down, shut up, and get the f--- on. Phil (voice-over): In Cardiff, the new alliance forged ahead, getting out first. Team confessional, Carrie and Dana. Dana: On the train, I think we sucked in Spike and Jennifer to our alliance. Jennifer's really good with the locals, and Spike's a strong player, so I think it's a good move. Phil (voice-over): While Bobby and Caroline learned the price of their last-place finish. Caroline: Welcome to the Toll Booth. This is your penalty for finishing in last place in the last leg. In order to proceed, place fifty American dollars in the envelope and put the envelope in the box where this note was found. From this point, if you do not finish in first or second place in this leg, you will incur a 30-minute penalty at the Pit Stop. Consider yourselves marked for elimination. Phil (voice-over): In order to avoid another low finish, Bobby and Caroline took the Fast Forward. Bobby: So just throw it in, jump in, and grab the clue. Hang on a sec. Bobby tears his shirt off and undoes his belt, removing his shoes at the same time. He grabs the catamaran and tosses it in the water himself; Caroline throws in the paddles. Caroline: You'll look for any excuse to strip to your underwear. Phil (voice-over): At one Detour option, the creative Spike surged ahead. Cut to Spike working on her design, a drum set; she is far ahead of anyone else. Phil (voice-over): While other teams struggled. Dan drops his stencil and sprays gold paint all over the shirt. Dan: Damnit. Every damn time. Phil (voice-over): At the other Detour option, Bryan got into it with Steve. Bryan: Lemme guess. Looking for something to wear tonight? Steve: Lemme guess. Stayed up all night thinking of that one? Darius: Ouch. Phil (voice-over): At the Roadblock, Bryan tried to take out Carrie but was taken out himself. Cut to Carrie's hit on Bryan; Bryan's head is thrown back. Carrie, at the same time, is shown to have raised her elbow a bit. Bryan loses the ball. It pops out of his arm and goes in the air. Bryan falls flat on his back, Carrie is still standing. Pan to Jeffrey and Dana on the sideline; Dana is whistling, hollering and cheering. Jeffrey (shouting): That's a foul! Call something! Throw her out! Give her a time penalty! Do something! Phil (voice-over): After she and Derek scored and received their next clue, they celebrated. Team confessional, Charlie and Derek. Charlie: When Derek scored that try, he broke out this wild-ass touchdown dance; he started shaking his chest and his hips like he was Chubby Checker or something, and then he even started bringing Carrie into it. And although I probably shouldn't say this, that Carrie's a hell of a dancer. Derek: I've scored goals, but there's nothing like a touchdown dance, and I just had to celebrate after Carrie laid out Bryan. And then I told her afterward I was jealous that I didn't get to do it. Phil (voice-over): And Carrie and Dana rode to the Pit Stop on Charlie and Derek's backs. Carrie: Hey, can I get a ride? Derek: Hop on. Carrie leaps onto Derek's back; following suit, Dana wraps her arms around Charlie's neck and climbs on. Charlie: I'm too damn old for this. Phil (voice-over): With the Fast Forward, Bobby and Caroline arrived first. Cut to Bobby and Caroline at the Pit Stop. Phil: You're team number ONE! Caroline embraces Bobby warmly; Bobby lifts her up, spins her around, and kisses her on the lips before they return to face Phil. Phil (voice-over): Arriving shortly behind in second and third, Charlie and Derek celebrated with Carrie and Dana. Phil: So what was with the piggyback rides? Carrie: You said to travel by foot. You didn't say whose feet. Phil (voice-over): While Carrie boldly kissed Derek. Derek: I hope Danni's not too upset. Carrie: If I wanted her to be upset, I'd do this. Carrie glides around to Derek's front and kisses him on the lips; Dana cheers wildly, and Charlie falls to the ground laughing. Derek looks as if he's ingested a full jar of table salt, sugar, lemon juice, and Slurpee syrup, and his eyes are as bright as stage lights. It is unclear whether Carrie used her tongue or not. Carrie: I'll see you back at the Pit Stop, hot stuff. Phil (voice-over): However, back at the Roadblock, Bryan's finger got caught in Spike's nose ring. Panning back to Spike and Bryan reveals that Bryan has his finger caught in Spike's nose ring. Spike doesn't appear to know what's going on. Bryan, in apparent bewilderment, pulls his finger back, tugging hard on the nose ring. He pulls it clear out of Spike's nose; she immediately grabs her nose in pain, and it begins to gush blood. Bryan's facial expression does not appear to change. Panning to Jennifer shows a horrified look on her face. Spike does not appear to accept the clue at first. Spike: I need something to stop the blood! Phil (voice-over): Spike made it to the Pit Stop, but she then collapsed. Phil: Spike, what happened? Are you OK? Immediately, Spike collapses on the mat, continuing to lose blood. Phil (panicked): Medic! Cut to a medical team arriving and examining Spike's nose; she is continuing to bleed. The medic is a young woman in nursing scrubs; her badge identifies her name as Hennessy. Hennessy: We need to stitch her up. She's losing too much blood. Did she walk all the way here? Jennifer: Yes. The rules said to. Hennessy: We need to get her stitched up immediately. If we don't, she will die. Phil (voice-over): Spike was taken to a nearby hospital, stitched up, and released; however, at the Pit Stop, Bryan seemed unconcerned about Spike's plight. Phil: Spike had to go to the hospital. She lost a lot of blood and became unconscious. She will be returning to the Race, but she's pretty beaten up. We reviewed the tape and didn't find anything that would indicate that you injured her on purpose; as such, we cannot issue a penalty and have to chalk it up to an accident in a rough game. Bryan: She shouldn't have been wearing all that jewelry; she was bound to get hurt. Phil (voice-over): The battle to stay out of last came down to Hayley against Darius. Hayley: Do you want to switch or should I? Darius: Rock-paper-scissors? Hayley: All right. Both Hayley and Darius make fists, counting off "one, two"... ...and on three, they reveal. Hayley plays paper. Darius plays rock. Hayley: I'm staying put. Darius: Fair's fair. Team confessional, Steve and Darius. Darius: It was a battle between us and Florida to stay out of last, and it came down to rock-paper-scissors. I should have played scissors, but then again, I didn't think it would matter. Steve: Both teams looked evenly matched, so I figured it would work no matter what we did. Phil (voice-over): Darius having to switch teams spelled doom as Hayley's team scored a try. Darius reaches out and strips the ball from the red-shirted ball carrier. He falls to the ground but gets up, recovering the ball and running back toward the goal. Only one player stands between him and the goal. That player gets in a bent-knee stance and attempts to block Darius. Darius jukes to one side and scrambles toward the other. The player reaches his arm out and gets a hand on the ball. He swats the ball away, and it bounces toward the right side. Hayley sprints over and scoops up the ball; she avoids the line and dashes toward the right side of the logjam. Darius chases her but is far short; Hayley scampers past the other players untouched. She reaches the goal and sets the ball down, retrieving the clue from the referee. Phil (voice-over): Hayley and Alexis survivied, but Steve and Darius did not, and they were the last to arrive. Phil: I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the Race. Phil (voice-over): Eleven teams remain. Who will be eliminated next? The opening credits begin to roll. At first, a Mercator projection of the world in black, green, and yellow, with the Amazing Race logo superimposed over it cuts to a view of an airplane flying above a layer of clouds. The phrase "14 teams of 2" appears on screen. The first team shown on screen is Leilani and Kea against an island backdrop. The credits continue to Carrie and Dana outside a college building, Hayley and Alexis in front of a row of prison cells, Reggie and Dan outside FedEx Field, Bobby and Caroline in front of their Colorado home, Ray and Jamal in front of a panoramic shot of the Gulf of Mexico, Tina and Jim on a football field sideline with a medical pod in the backdrop, Debra and Bob on a hilly road with their bikes, Alex and Elena on a college green, Jeffrey and Bryan in front of a construction site, Spike and Jennifer outside Seattle's City Hall, and Steve and Darius on a chicken ranch. In this ending, Eric and Jessica appear outside Jessica's home in Kansas, and Charlie and Derek appear on a hockey rink. The screen cuts to commercial.   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 04-22-08, 02:24 PM (EST) 1. "The Amazing Race: Episode 5 - "I Suppose You Speak Swiss, Too"" Blog Entry, 10/2/2008 Authored by: Hank Valentine, themanitobamoose It's a little hard to play "Where are they now?" with someone you haven't seen in almost two months and someone else you've never met. But nonetheless, that's exactly what I intend to do, against my better judgment. Steve decided against pursuing a relationship with me, and I just told him, "You have to do what you think is best." Besides, when he got back, all he wanted to do was write his novel, which I thought was fantastic, but when it cut into any time he might have had together, I decided that he needed to pick between me and his work for a little while. Steve said he wasn't about to give up his work. So he gave me up. And I went back to Minnesota. He did tell me in his e-mail to me that he and Darius haven't been closer in a while than they are; they talk every night, and Steve went to South Dakota to meet his grandson. So at least he's rekindling one relationship. They went to some small town not far from Hitchcock to scout places for another restaurant, one that might actually serve dinner. Of course, Darius is going to hire someone else to manage that; he rather enjoys being home by six every evening, so the breakfast and lunch only thing is for him. Steve didn't say anything about having met anyone, so I'll assume that the door is always open in case he decides to go a little easier on his work and actually have time for a relationship. But since I've barely heard from him, I'm not holding my breath. Back from commercial. Cut to an overview of Cardiff University; no students are out, but there are some people in the surrounding areas who are walking. The shot is during the daytime. Phil (voice-over): This is Cardiff, Wales. The largest city in the smallest nation of Great Britain, this was the fourth Pit Stop in a race around the world. Cut to the arrivals of Bobby and Caroline, Charlie and Derek, Carrie and Dana, and Jeffrey and Bryan. Phil (voice-over): Teams arrived here for a mandatory rest period, having no idea what's in store for them. At the Pit Stop, Spike was taken to the hospital for excessive bleeding, but she has recovered and was deemed fit to continue racing. Bryan's removal of her nose ring during the Roadblock was ruled an accident, and no team's standing is affected. Cut to Spike at the Pit Stop arriving with a stitched nose; Elena helps her into a chair, and Jeffrey and Bryan are nowhere to be found. Phil (voice-over): Bobby and Caroline, who were the first to arrive at 2:49 pm... Cut to Bobby and Caroline taking the clue outside St. David's Hall. Phil (voice-over): ...will depart at 2:49 am. Bobby: Fly to Geneva, Switzerland-- Cut to Phil standing outside the United Nations' European Headquarters. Phil: Team must now fly over 700 miles from Cardiff to Geneva, Switzerland. Once there, they must come here to the United Nations' European Headquarters. In this row of flags, they will find their next clue. Cut back to Bobby and Caroline. Bobby: You have $60 for this leg of the Race. Caroline: I hope things are cheaper in Switzerland. Bobby: Yeah, me too. Caroline: Hey, there's a U-Turn. Cut to Phil standing by the U-Turn. Phil: This is the second of five U-Turns in the Amazing Race. It is played at the start of the leg. Bobby and Caroline, who were U-Turned at the start of the third leg, cannot be U-Turned again, and Jeffrey and Bryan cannot use this or any other U-Turn. Cut back to Bobby and Caroline at the U-Turn. Caroline: We choose to U-Turn Jeffrey and Bryan. Bobby: Have a nice day, assh----. Cut to Charlie and Derek, second to depart at 3:17 am. Derek: Fly to Geneva, Switzerland and find the United Nations' European Headquarters. Charlie: I suppose you speak Swiss, too. Derek: They speak German in Switzerland, Dad. Charlie: I'm sure they do. Team confessional, Charlie and Derek. Charlie: I don't want to say Derek carries the team, but, well, he does. It seems like the other teams are so distracted by the women thinking he's hot and the men thinking he's scary that we finish near the top every time. Derek: Well, the men are right. I am scary. Charlie: You're telling me. You ever plan to shave again? Derek has several days of dark-brown beard growth that has come in thick. Derek: I don't shave until we're out. I'm a hockey player. Cut to Carrie and Dana, third to depart at 3:18 am. Dana: Fly to Geneva, Switzerland. Carrie: Is that a U-Turn? Dana: Now come on. We have a reputation to uphold. If we go U-Turning teams, someone might be onto us, and then we're out of here. Team confessional, Carrie and Dana. Carrie: Dana and I are far from the strongest team, so we rely a lot on working with other teams and doing favors for them as a means of keeping them close. Dana: If we get U-Turned, we're sunk, and if we make a careless mistake, we're sunk, so we have to play the whole nice routine up until it's time to bring the claws out. Cut to Spike and Jennifer, fourth to depart at 3:31 am. Spike's nose is still stitched up and very red, but she seems to be with it. Jennifer: Fly to Geneva, Switzerland. Spike: Let me see that U-Turn. Let's get Jeffrey and Bryan out of here. Jennifer: Fine with me. Spike and Jennifer walk over to the U-Turn, where a sign is up that says "U-Turn Taken." Spike: Damn. Jennifer: As long as they didn't use it on us. Spike: Jeffrey and Bryan were stupid and used it on Bobby and Caroline, remember? Jennifer: Yeah, that was pretty dumb. Cut to Jeffrey and Bryan, fifth to depart at 3:54 am. Bryan: Fly to Geneva, Switzerland. Jeffrey: Oh great. There's a U-Turn here, and the jerks from Colorado finished first. Bryan: Remember, they'd never use it on us. Cut to Alex and Elena, sixth to depart at 4:01 am. Elena: Fly to Geneva, Switzerland. Ooh, I love Switzerland. Alex: You just love their chocolate. Elena: Well, can you blame me? Cut to Cardiff International Airport, where Bobby and Caroline have arrived, along with Charlie and Derek, Carrie and Dana, and Spike and Jennifer. The ticket counter has opened; Bobby and Caroline are first. Caroline: We need to get to Geneva as fast as possible. Agent: We have several flights leaving at 6:05 am today that get into Geneva later, but seats on the connections are limited. The first flight arrives in Geneva at 11:30 am local time and goes through Amsterdam. Caroline: Put us on it, please. Cut to the tickets printing; Charlie is next in line. Charlie: Can you get us on the same flights? Agent: It is almost full, but we can get you on. Charlie: Thanks. Next in line are Carrie and Dana. Carrie: We need to be on that flight as well. Agent: You are the last ones on the flight. You will arrive in Geneva at 11:30 am. Cut to the tickets printing; Spike and Jennifer are next, and Jennifer approaches the counter. Jennifer: So can you get us on that flight? Agent: No; it is full. You will be on the flight to Amsterdam, but there, you can only get a later flight. It arrives at 2:15 pm in Geneva. Jennifer: And there's nothing quicker. Agent: No, nothing. Team confessional, Spike and Jennifer. Jennifer: The three teams ahead of us got on the earliest possible flight, and we got pushed back a few hours. No big deal; we just were on the short end of the stick. Spike: That just means we'll have to face those bastards from Ohio. Jennifer: No big deal. Just kick him with those big boots. Cut to a restaurant in the airport; all four teams are sitting and chatting as Jeffrey and Bryan nonchalantly walk up with tickets in hand. No one appears to notice them. Derek: Hey Spike, you still feeling OK? Spike: Yeah, I'm good. I just need things to get my strength up. Charlie: Hey, you can have this sandwich. I just picked it up. Spike: That's nice of you, Charlie, but you don't have to do that. Charlie: I mean it. Take it; you need it more than I do. Spike: What's it have on it? Charlie: Oh, nothing, just some roast beef, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise, and I think, for some reason, they have mushrooms on it. Must be a Welsh thing. Spike: Pass. I can't eat that. Charlie: The mushrooms are a little too weird, aren't they? Spike: It's not that. I'm allergic to mushrooms. Pan to Jeffrey and Bryan; Jeffrey nods at Bryan. Dana looks up at Bryan, who appears to smile innocently. Dana: Well, hello. Didn't see you guys here. Bryan: Don't mind us. Hey, was that early flight full for anyone else? Jennifer: I couldn't get on it. I'm guessing they stuck you with us. Bryan: The one getting in at 2:15? Jennifer: That's the one. Cut to Leilani and Kea, seventh to depart at 4:14 am. Leilani: Fly to Geneva, Switzerland. Kea: At least it's not an island. Cut to Tina and Jim, eighth to depart at 4:18 am. Jim: Fly to Geneva, Switzerland. Tina: Is your knee OK? Jim: Yeah, I elevated it at the Pit Stop, and it's fine. Tina: No more rugby matches. Jim: Wasn't planning on it. Cut to Cardiff International Airport, where Alex and Elena have their tickets. Elena: We get in at 2:15 pm. Alex: Hey, if there's a Fast Forward, do you want to go for it? Elena: Yeah, sure. We need to make a move. Cut to Ray and Jamal, ninth to depart at 4:32 am. Jamal: Fly to Geneva, Switzerland. Ray looks at him somewhat blankly. Jamal: What, no song? Ray: What the hell sounds like "Geneva"? Jamal: Thank God. Cut to Reggie and Dan, tenth to depart at 4:35 am. Reggie: Fly to Geneva, Switzerland. Dan: They don't play rough sports there, do they? Reggie: They're Swiss. They eat, drink, and be neutral. Dan: For tomorrow, they...well, eat cheese, I guess. Cut to Hayley and Alexis, last to depart at 4:56 am. Alexis: Fly to Geneva, Switzerland. Hayley: Time to dig out of this hole. Cut to Cardiff International Airport, where Leilani and Kea are in line for tickets. Leilani: We need the fastest flight to Geneva. Agent: All previous flights are full. The earliest we can get you is to Geneva at 4:35 pm. That leaves soon at 6:05 am. There is still room. Leilani: I guess we'll take it. Cut to a Mercator projection of Europe, which shows the Racers' path from Cardiff to Geneva. Every flight goes through Amsterdam. Phil (voice-over): All teams are no on their way from Cardiff to Geneva by way of Amsterdam. The first flight from Cardiff to Amsterdam carries Bobby and Caroline, Charlie and Derek, Carrie and Dana, Spike and Jennifer, Jeffrey and Bryan, Alex and Elena, Leilani and Kean, Tina and Jim, and Reggie and Dan. The second flight, which did not leave until 11:05 am, carries Ray and Jamal and Hayley and Alexis. Cut to Flight #1 from Amsterdam leaving; Bobby and Caroline, Charlie and Derek, and Carrie and Dana are on this plane. A quick cut to the inside cabin shows Carrie sitting in Derek's lap; Derek appears nervous and uncomfortable but resigned to having Carrie hang all over him. She strokes his face, which has several days of beard growth; he appears fairly unresponsive. Cut to Flight #2 from Amsterdam; Spike and Jennifer, Jeffrey and Bryan, and Alex and Elena are aboard this plane. Jeffrey, Bryan, Spike, and Jennifer are each eating a small in-flight meal; Bryan's includes a salad. Bryan takes out a sampling of vegetables from his salad, including a carrot, a green pepper, and a mushroom, and he sets them aside; Spike assembles a sandwich, which appears to have ham and Swiss cheese, and sets it down. Spike (to Jennifer): Hey, help me reach my carry-on bag; I need my Gatorade. Jennifer: Yeah, sure. Spike and Jennifer both reach down underneath the seat reaching for Spike's bag; at this time, Bryan gets up and places the vegetables on Spike's sandwich, sitting back down without trying to appear apparent. He has a smug look on his face. Spike takes a drink of her Gatorade and digs into her sandwich but immediately stops when she feels something crunchy inside. Spike (stunned): What the--what the hell is on my sandwich? Spike removes the top bun and noticed th carrot and green pepper, appearing puzzled at first until she spots the mushroom. Spike recoils in horror, dropping the sandwich and cowering away from it; she begins to dry-heave, attempting to cough up anything that might have touched the mushroom. Spike darts off to the bathroom with her Gatorade in hand; behind her; Bryan is desperately trying to contain his laughter. Jennifer turns around and sees Bryan begin to giggle. Jennifer: What the hell, man? What the f--- is so f------ funny? Bryan bursts out laughing and doesn't give an obvious response. Jennifer: You did that on purpose! You knew she was allergic, and you tried to kill her just to get ahead in the game! You're a bastard! You're a f------ monster! Bryan's laughter dies down as Spike returns from the bathroom; she's still shaking, but she takes her seat as Jennifer continues to fume. Jennifer: You're a dirty player! You f------ hurt people on purpose! Jeffrey: Stay out of our faces, bitch! Jennifer: Go to hell, skank! Spike: What the hell happened? Why the f--- was there a mushroom on my-- Jennifer (interrupting): That rat bastard put it on there, and he knew you were allergic! Spike: What the f---? You tried to kill me? That's it; you're f------ dead! Spike leaps across the seat and takes a swing at Bryan; she misses and is restrained by another passenger, who tackles her. By this point, Jennifer has her pinned down while Bryan grins and chuckles at the pinned Spike. Jennifer: It's not worth it. Spike: What the f--- do you mean it's not worth it? You want to kill him just as bad as I do! Jennifer: Spike, listen to me. Spike (ignoring her): Let me at the f-----! I'll tear his eyes out for this! Jennifer (sternly): Spike, damnit, shut up. Spike is flailing her legs and trying to get up to attack Bryan. Spike (in delirious anger): F--- that assh---. I'll tear his f------ head off. I don't give a s--- if I get the chair for it; he's f------ dead-- Jennifer (snapping): Damnit, Allison; shut up and calm down! Spike collapses in rage-induced exhaustion and tries to catch her breath. Spike (out of breath): Did-did you just call me Allison? Jennifer: Got your attention, didn't I? Spike: Only my mother calls me that. Jennifer: You're right. You don't look like an Allison. Passenger (smiling): You don't look like a Spike, either. Spike: You people are killing me. At this time, a flight attendant kneels before Spike; her name tag reads "Petra." Petra: Is everything OK, miss? Jennifer: Another passenger just attempted to poison her. Petra: Poison? There's poison on the plane? Jennifer: Well, not really poison. Spike: He tried to put a mushroom in my food. Petra: Are the mushrooms poisonous? Spike: They are to me. I'm deathly allergic. Petra: I understand. Come with me. There are empty seats in first class. The two of you can spend the last few minutes of the flight there. Spike: Thank you so much. Petra escorts Spike and Jennifer to the front of the plane; someone official-looking comes back to speak to Bryan. Cut to a view outside a plane. Phil (voice-over): For the incident, Bryan was issued a misconduct warning and told that his behavior would be monitored constantly by the show's officials. Spike was confirmed to be all right, and she and Jennifer were upgraded to first class; however, she was issued a warning for swinging at Bryan. Cut to Spike and Jennifer in first class; Spike is trying to settle in, and Jennifer is conforting her, stroking her buzzed hair. Jennifer: Do you feel all right? Is there anything I can do? Spike: Help me kill the bastards. Jennifer: We'll get them where it hurts the worst. Spike: What? Ripping out Bryan's b----? Jennifer: I meant on the scoreboard, but that works, too. Jennifer kisses Spike's forehead and moves down to her lips; Spike closes her eyes and appears to relax. Pan to Jeffrey and Bryan after being warned; Bryan's arms are folded and his feet are firmly on the ground. Bryan: I don't f------ believe this. She takes a swing at me, and I get warned. And then they upgrade her to first class. I guess it pays to dress like a f------ freak. F--- them. F--- them dead. Jeffrey: We'll get them. We'll get them good. Bryan glares at the front of the plane, where first class is separated by a curtain. The screen cuts to commercial.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 04-22-08, 02:26 PM (EST) 2. "The Amazing Race: Episode 5 - "I Suppose You Speak Swiss, Too"" Blog Entry, 10/9/2008 Authored by: Ron "Blazer" Macklin, punkrockliveshere Please understand if I sound a little delirious as I type this; I didn't get any sleep because of a rage-induced...well, rage bender. Bryan's the luckiest man on the planet right now to be alive. Simply put, apparently Spike didn't kill him, and I don't have the time or the patience to hope a plane across the country to hunt him down in his fancy house and his big, window-covered office and knock him into next century. Well, OK, I do, but Spike keeps telling me it's not worth it. If you want to make me angry, there are a few sure-fire ways to do so, and messing with my girl Spike is one. Doing it twice, especially when both times put her life in danger, is another good way. I do absolutely everything I can for her. I even took a hamburger that had mushrooms on it off the menu when she told me she was allergic. I take no chances. Aside from that, accidents happen, and I don't need her psycho mother coming back into her life and suing me. I pretty much didn't let Spike leave the bar while the show aired, but after the mushroom incident, she wanted to. She was getting anxious, breaking out into sweats, and even started speaking in some weird language I don't understand. Her eyes were blood-shot, and she started acting claustrophobic and paranoid. This wasn't like her at all. I asked her if she wanted to step outside for a smoke, but even nicotine withdrawal wouldn't turn her this paranoid. Then she let out with something that floored me - she's no longer a smoker. All those years of Jennifer nagging her to quit did nothing, but something happened on the Race that caused her to give up her beloved cigarettes. Unfortunately, I have no idea what she seems to have replaced them with. Whatever it is, it's making her really scared. A commercial had some kind of explosion sound in it, and Spike ducked behind the bar. When I found her, she was in the fetal position; she had covered her face and was sobbing. I didn't know how to deal with this; I had never once seen her cry. About the only subject that makes her even tear up a tiny bit is her father. But here she was on the floor in tears. I didn't know what to do. I told her to go home for the evening. I called Jennifer, and she came and took Spike home. I called her later in the evening, and she sounded...well, I don't know what, but I've come to a conclusion - she's hiding something. Next time she comes in and leaves for a long period of time, I'm following her. And then I'm booking plane tickets to Columbus, taking my hockey stick, and beating the living hell out of Bryan for what he did to her. Don't mess with my girl. Back from commercial. Bryan: She takes a swing at me, and I get warned. And then they upgrade her to first class. I guess it pays to dress like a f------ freak. F--- them. F--- them dead. Jeffrey: We'll get them. We'll get them good. Team confessional, Jeffrey and Bryan. Bryan: I decided to scare Spike by putting some things on her sandwich, and I completely forgot she was allergic to mushrooms. It turned into something a lot worse, and she took a swing at me. Of course, I'm the only one who got yelled at for it. Jeffrey: I want the two of them gone. They're repulsive, disgusting, and I wish they were dead right now. Cut to the plane landing; Spike and Jennifer are off first, followed by Alex and Elena. Team confessional, Alex and Elena. Alex: Spike and Jennifer got into it pretty good with Jeffrey and Bryan, and I didn't want any trouble, so I just stayed out of it. I'm still not sure what really happened, and frankly, it's none of my business. Everyone's fine. Elena: I know Bryan did something to Spike in Wales, so I don't know if this was revenge by Spike or if it was just Bryan trying something stupid again. Cut to Spike and Jennifer, currently in fourth place, outside the airport hailing a cab. Team confessional, Spike and Jennifer. Spike: I had the scare of my life on the plane. I don't know what the hell Bryan's problem is, but it needs to stop. Jennifer: I know what his problem is. He's a bastard. Spike: Don't sugarcoat it, Jen. Tell us how you really feel. Jennifer: Fine then. He's a bastard-covered bastard with bastard filling and bastard frosting with those little colored bastard sprinkles on top. And he's served in a bastard box with bastard tape. By this point, Spike is keeled over laughing; Jennifer pats her on the back. Cut to Bobby and Caroline, currently in first place, arriving at the UN European Headquarters. The clue box is located next to the Swiss flag. Caroline opens the clue. Caroline: Travel to the Old City of Geneva-- Cut to Phil in front of the Parc de Bastions. Phil: Teams must now travel to the Old City of Geneva. Once there, they must come here to the Parc de Bastions and locate a troupe of men dressed in traditional Geneva soldier garb, who will hand them their next clue. In addition, since Geneva's traditional soldiers wear red and gold, all route markers in Switzerland will be marked with yellow and black in order to prevent confusion. Cut back to Bobby and Caroline. Caroline: Let's go. Arriving soon behind them is Charlie and Derek, currently in second place. Derek: Travel to the Old City of Geneva. Charlie: Then what is this place? The New City of Geneva? I'm confused. Derek: We need to look for yellow and black. I guess yellow and blue were taken. Cut to Carrie and Dana, currently in third place, arriving at the UN European Headquarters. Carrie: Travel to the Old City of Geneva. Dana: And find a chocolate factory, I hope. Carrie: Hey, there's plenty of time here to enjoy the chocolate. Cut to the Old City of Geneva; a group of soldiers dressed in traditional garb is standing at attention. Arriving first are Bobby and Caroline. Bobby approaches a soldier, who reaches in his pocket and hands him the clue. He opens it. Bobby: Detour. Cauldron or Road Run. Cut to Phil in Parc de Bastions; he is alone. Phil: In this Detour, teams must choose between two activities specific to the celebration known as L'Escalade, in which Geneva's soldiers repelled an attack by the Duke of Savoy. Their choices? Cauldron or Road Run. Cut to Phil by a large tent with several hundred ceramic cauldrons sitting on a long row of tables. Phil: In Cauldron, teams commemorate the defeat of attacking soldiers with a cauldron full of hot soup as well as the practice of smashing cauldrons on the anniversary celebration by smashing what may be over 500 cauldrons to find ten with marzipan candies inside. They may then trade the candies for their next clue. The task is basic, but it requires a lot of luck and attention to detail, and teams htat don't have it may be a while. Cut to Phil on the Parc de Bastions again. Phil: In Road Run, teams must follow a two-mile path around the city that starts here in Parc de Bastions and cuts through the Old City of Geneva to commemorate the traditional run made on L'Escalade every year. This even is considered one of Europe's most prestigious sporting events. Upon completing this run, they will receive their next clue. The task does require speed and endurance, but teams that have both could finish quickly as the race is only two miles. Cut back to Bobby and Caroline. Bobby: Road Run? Caroline: You up for it? Bobby: Sure. Bobby and Caroline take a ribbon and begin to run, leaving their things behind at the Parc de Bastions. Soon, Charlie and Derek arrive. Charlie opens the clue. Charlie: Detour. Cauldron or Road Run? Let's do Road Run. Or do you want to go for the Fast Forward? Cut to Phil standing in front of a group of soldiers singing from sheet music. Phil: In this Fast Forward, a team must learn the traditional song of Geneva, which was written over 400 years ago in a regional dialect of French. The actual song has 68 verses, and only four are used. In order to win the Fast Forward, a team must learn only the first verse of this song and sing it word for word from memory. Upon completing this task, the team can then skip all remaining tasks and go directly to the Pit Stop. Cut to Charlie and Derek. Derek: No Fast Forward. Let's just do Road Run. Cut to Carrie and Dana, currently in third place, receiving a clue from a soldier. Dana opens it. Dana: Detour. Cauldron or Road Run. Carrie: Is that a Fast Forward? Dana: Other teams are way behind. We don't need it. Carrie: Good point. Dana: If we do Cauldron, we get to smash stuff. Carrie: That's all the endorsement I need. Let's go. Cut to Road Run, where Charlie and Derek are slowly gaining on Bobby and Caroline. Bobby looks over his shoulder and spots Charlie and Derek gaining on them. Bobby: Damnit. Caroline: What? Bobby: Michigan's on our tail. Team confessional, Bobby and Caroline. Bobby: At the Detour, we had an advantage, but we started to lose it because Michigan had faster runners. I work out, sure, and Caroline's in pretty good shape, but I'm no athlete. Caroline: It was hard for little old me to compete with a guy who used to be in the military and one who plays a brutal game for a living. So we lost our lead. Cut to Charlie and Derek passing Bobby and Caroline. Caroline: Why do you have to go and do that? (confessional) Caroline: At least the view wasn't bad. Cut to Charlie and Derek finishing the run; an exhausted Charlie lets Derek open the clue. Derek: Travel to Montreux-- Cut to Phil outside the village of Montreux; he is standing near a statue. Phil: Teams must now travel to the village of Montreux on the northeast shore of Lake Geneva. They have been given the name "Farrokh Bulsara" and told to find this person; what they must figure out is that Farrokh Bulsara is better known as Freddie Mercury, and that they must travel to the statue of Freddie Mercury in Montreux to receive their next clue. Cut to Charlie and Derek. Derek: Let's go. Soon after, Bobby and Caroline finish. Caroline opens the clue. Caroline: Travel to the village of Montreux and find Farrokh Bulsara. Who the hell is that? Bobby: Beats me. Cut to Cauldron, where Carrie and Dana have smashed open several cauldrons but have yet to find a candy. Dana: Why didn't we just run? I need to burn some calories anyway. Carrie: Hey, who the hell likes to run? Dana: Maybe I should learn to like it. Dana smashes a cauldron and reveals a marzipan candy. Dana: I got one! Carrie: I wish we could eat them. Dana: Me too. Carrie takes one and smashes it and, with one smooth motion, smashes another with her other arm, revealing another candy. Carrie: All right! Another one! Dana: We'll be out of here in no time. Carrie: Did you catch if we were U-Turned? Dana: Who the hell would U-Turn us? Carrie: Besides the jerks? Dana: They used theirs. Carrie: Sucks for them. Cut to a ceramic-covered floor; the table now has nine marzipan candies and only a few cauldrons left. Dana: Figures we'd get to the last few. Carrie smashes one with both hands and picks up the last marzipan candy; Dana, not noticing, smashes one. Carrie grabs the candies and then Dana, and she hands them to the soldier standing guard, who gives them their next clue. Dana opens it. Dana: Travel to the village of Montreux and find Farrokh Bulsara. Wait, what? Carrie: Wait, who is that...who is that...that's Freddie Mercury. Dana: Isn't he dead? Carrie: I'm sure there's a statue of him or something. Team confessional, Carrie and Dana. Carrie: I used to be a pretty big fan of Queen, so I knew the name that they gave us was really Freddie Mercury. Dana: And I'm not old enough to remember Queen, unlike some people here. Carrie: Hey, you're only as old as you feel. Dana: So how old do you feel? Carrie: About 20 if I'm sitting on Derek's lap. Cut to Spike and Jennifer, currently in fourth place, arriving at the UN European Headquarters. Jennifer opens the clue. Jennifer: Travel to the Old City of Geneva. Spike: I'll leave this behind for Ohio. Team confessional, Spike and Jennifer. Spike: I wrote a fake clue for Jeffrey and Bryan to pick up when they got to the UN Headquarters. It reads, "Travel to a remote desert island and wait to be rescued." Jennifer: Which is way more effort than those two bitches are worth. Cut to Alex and Elena, currently in fifth place, arriving at the UN Headquarters. Elena: Travel to the Old City of Geneva. Now you're talking. Hey, what's this? Elena focuses in on the message left for Jeffrey and Bryan. Alex: Must have been the Goths leaving a little love note. Elena: They're not Goths, Alex. Alex: Well, what are they? Elena: I don't know. Soon after them, Jeffrey and Bryan, currently in sixth place, arrive. Jeffrey: Travel to the Old City of Geneva. Bryan: What the hell is this? Bryan opens the fake clue left by Spike and Jennifer; he stuffs it in his pocket. Cut to Parc de Bastions, where Spike and Jennifer have arrived. Jennifer receives the clue. Jennifer: Detour. Cauldron or Road Run. Can you run two miles? Spike: What's the alternative? Jennifer: Searching through five hundred things. Spike: I have a spare Gatorade, don't I? Jennifer: You're good to run then? Spike: Yeah. Cut to Alex and Elena arriving with Jeffrey and Bryan behind. Alex gets the clue first, then Bryan. Alex: Detour. Cauldron or Road Run. Wait, there's a Fast Forward. Says here we have to learn the national anthem of Geneva. Elena: Let's do that. Pan to Bryan, who has the Fast Forward open. Bryan: I can learn old French. Jeffrey: Then let's do it. Cut to Alex and Elena at the Fast Forward; two soldiers are waiting and standing guard while Jeffrey and Bryan rush up to take their shot at learning the song. Each team is handed a sheet with the title "Ce que l'aino" across the top. Bryan: What the hell is this? This isn't French. Jeffrey: You said you could do it. Call me when you've done it. Pan to Alex and Elena studying the sheet music. Alex: You take the first two lines; I'll get the last two. Cut to the near future, where Alex and Elena are beginning to piece their song together. Elena (singing): Cé qu’è lainô, le Maitre dé bataille... Team confessional, Alex and Elena. Elena: Alex and I split up the song for the Fast Forward, so we had a very easy time of memorizing it. Alex: For the first two lines, she sang while I sort of mumbled, and for the last two lines, I sang while she sort of mumbled. It seemed to be good enough. Cut to Alex and Elena handing their sheet music to a soldier; Bryan is still studying his and singing to himself, pronouncing the lyrics very badly, while Jeffrey sits and watches. Elena (singing; Alex is backing up): Cé qu’è lainô, le Maitre dé bataille, Que se moqué et se ri dé canaille... Alex (singing; Elena is backing up): A bin fai vi, pé on desande nai, Qu’il étivé patron dé Genevoi. Soldier (in a thick French accent): Perfect. You have won. The soldier hands Alex the Fast Forward; he tears it open and holds it for him and Elena to read. Alex: Congratulations! You have won the Fast Forward. Proceed to the Pit Stop-- Cut to Phil standing in front of a large water spout on a lake backdrop. Phil: Having won the Fast Forward, Alex and Elena can skip all remaining tasks and go directly to the Pit Stop, Jet d'Eau in Geneva. This giant water spout, visible from airplanes and capable of shooting up to 300 feet in the air, is the Pit Stop for this leg of the Race. Cut to Alex and Elena. Elena: Let's get out of here. They run by Bryan, who's still studying. Alex: Don't bother. We got it. Team confessional, Jeffrey and Bryan. Bryan: I sat there studying these lyrics for what felt like forever, and Alex and Elena just whizzed through the Fast Forward and left us in the dust. Maybe if I had a little help, I would have gotten it done faster. Jeffrey: I doubt it. You don't know anything about French. Bryan: Well, neither did they, but they picked it up. Cut to Spike and Jennifer, currently in fifth place, returning to the beginning of Road Run with their ribbons; Spike is struggling to catch her breath. A soldier hands Jennifer the next clue; Spike is breathing very heavily. Jennifer: Travel to the village of Montreux. Are you all right, Spike? Spike weakly gives a thumbs-up gesture. Team confessional, Spike and Jennifer. Spike: After that run, I felt terrible. It was just a perfect storm of recovering from being in the hospital plus ten years of smoking four packs a day. Then I see some guy walking by smoking a cigarette, and if I wasn't so out of breath, I would have run after him and sucked every bit of smoke out of his cigarette. Jennifer: I was really proud of Spike for pulling through. It showed a lot of dedication that I was afraid she didn't have. I think this strengthened our relationship. Spike: That means a lot to me. Jennifer: I know it does. Spike: It meant a lot more what you said after we left. Cut to Spike and Jennifer walking out of Parc de Bastions; they pass Jeffrey and Bryan, who are debating on which Detour option to take. Jennifer: It doesn't matter what you do; we're still kicking your asses. Jeffrey: Get the f--- out of here. Jennifer: Aww, what's wrong? No poison to slip in Spike's Gatorade? You f------ disgust me. Jeffrey: You f------ disgust everyone. Jennifer: No, just bitches like you. Cut to Geneva Cointrin International Airport, where Flight #3 is arriving, carrying Leilani and Kea, Tina and Jim, Reggie and Dan, Ray and Jamal, and Hayley and Alexis. First off the plane are Reggie and Dan, followed by Tina and Jim. Cut to outside the airport, where Reggie and Dan have hailed a cab. They get a cab, as do Tina and Jim, Leilani and Kea, and Hayley and Alexis. Only Ray and Jamal are left without a cab; there appear not to be any available. Cut to the UN European Headquarters; the first team to arrive from the last flight is Tina and Jim, who signal to the cab driver to stay put while they go and grab the clue. Jim opens it. Jim: Travel to Parc de Bastions. Tina: And stay ahead of the others. Cut to Road Run, where Jeffrey and Bryan, currently in sixth place, are finishing up. Jeffrey is out of breath; Bryan appears near full strength. They reach the end, but the soldier does not hand them a clue. Bryan: Wait. We finished. Where's our clue? The soldier points to the U-Turn board, where Jeffrey and Bryan's picture is pasted next to a smaller picture of Bobby and Caroline. Bryan: So that's how they want it. Well, I guess it's off to break some candies, or whatever we have to do. Cut to UN European Headquarters; Hayley and Alexis have arrived. Alexis opens the clue. Alexis: Travel to Parc de Bastions. And thank you, Swiss cab drivers, for stranding Biloxi. Soon after, Leilani and Kea arrive; Kea pays the driver, and Leilani heads for the clue. Leilani: Travel to Parc de Bastions. Kea: Let's go. Leilani and Kea run back to the cab; however, the cab is gone. Kea: What the--this isn't right! Didn't you tell him to wait? Kea: Wait? I thought they--damnit. I forgot. And now they have our stuff. Leilani: Nice going. Now we're f------ screwed. Leilani puts her hands to her forehead and winces. The screen cuts to commercial.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 04-22-08, 02:28 PM (EST) 3. "The Amazing Race: Episode 5 - "I Suppose You Speak Swiss, Too"" Blog Entry, 10/9/2008 Authored by: Vladimir Ivanov, iswearimnotacommunist I don't mind saying now what the current status of Alex and Elena is. Actually, it's the first time I know about it, since they've been so sly about it. I'll just come out and say it - they're together. And we don't see as much of either as we might like to because of that. Trust me, I get maybe a few minutes every week for them to discuss the Race and what was really going on out there before they head off with that look in their eyes. I did get this, though - what we saw out of Jeffrey and Bryan? At least from their point of view, it was mild compared to what they were really like. Yes, Jeffrey really is a fire-breathing racist, and Alex was called several unsavory terms for a Russian by that vile woman. Elena was, too, but just the words, "I'm not Russian, dumbass; I'm Bulgarian" were enough to cause her to lose her concentration. Bryan was also trying to find out everything he could on Elena as if he was trying to exploit a weakness. He overheard how Spike was allergic to mushrooms and tried to make her eat one. So Alex and Elena - especially Elena - kept her lips sealed around Bryan. And it's a good thing, too; Elena is deathly allergic to shellfish, and a crazy man like Bryan really doesn't need to know that. At the Pit Stop, Jeffrey and Bryan were sequestered. Most of the time, other teams were allowed to interact, and all the other teams were, but not Jeffrey and Bryan. They were also told that, should they be eliminated, they wouldn't go to Guam with the other teams; they would instead be flown "somewhere else." Supposedly, the other facility was in Mexico and would allow only them under complete lockdown. The conditions for Jeffrey and Bryan staying in the Race were very harsh at first, and I can't think of a better team to deal with that. I myself would have disqualified them on the spot, but hey, that's just my opinion. I'll also add this - bravo to Alex and Elena for the Fast Forward. And since the Fast Forward pretty much guarantees first place this season, I asked if I could share their prize once I saw them win it. They just smiled. Or Elena did, since she's a sweetheart. Alex stuck his tongue out and threw a bottle cap at me. Then they started flirting in Russian. Ugh. Get a room. Back from commercial. Leilani: What the--this isn't right! Didn't you tell him to wait? Kea: Wait? I thought they--damnit. I forgot. And now they have our stuff. Leilani: Nice going. Now we're f------ screwed. Team confessional, Leilani and Kea. Kea: I don't know if I signaled to the taxi driver at the UN to stay put because we still needed him, but he just drove off, and there we were, just stranded. Leilani: And the worst part is, they took our stuff, too. We didn't have anything. Not our passports, not our cash, nothing. Kea: We had to race on nothing. Cut to the UN European Headquarters, where Leilani and Kea are still waiting; Reggie and Dan arrive. Dan opens the clue. Dan: Travel to Parc de Bastions. Reggie: Let's go. They stop momentarily at the sight of Leilani and Kea standing idly with no backpacks. Reggie: What happened to you guys? Leilani: Our cab driver drove off with our stuff. We have nothing. Reggie and Dan step away to talk quickly; Dan holds up a "stop" signal to his cab driver. Dan (to Leilani and Kea): Hop in. Team confessional, Reggie and Dan. Reggie: Dan and I agreed to let the Hawaiians in our taxi because keeping them in the game would hopefully sink a stronger team, and we couldn't imagine that this leg was non-elimination. Dan: So we kind of took them under our wing, and we helped them locate their stuff. Cut to Reggie and Dan in a cab with Leilani and Kea; Leilani is on Dan's lap. Reggie: I bet you're the happiest guy in the world right now, Dan. Dan: You have no idea. I'm getting this one out to Maryland. Leilani: You'd like Hawaii. Dan: I bet I would if you're out there. Team confessional, Leilani and Kea. Leilani: The Hogettes were awfully flirtations, especially Dan. He couldn't keep his eyes off me. What's the matter, they don't have pretty girls in Maryland? Kea: Enjoy the attention, sis. You left me with Reggie, and he's married. Leilani: And Dan isn't? Kea: No, he's not. Look at his hands sometime and tell me if he has a ring on. A quick cut to the cab shows Dan's left hand, which has no rings on it. Cut to the front of the taxi, where the driver is on a radio system communicating with another driver. Driver (into the speaker): Die zwei Damen trugen Sie nach links ihre Beutel in Ihrem Stamm. (Subtitle: The two ladies you were carrying left their bags in your trunk.) Reggie: Have him meet us at Parc de Bastions. Driver (into the speaker): Treffen Sie uns in 10 Minuten bei Parc de Bastions. (Subtitle: Meet us in ten minutes at Parc de Bastions.) Team confessional, Leilani and Kea. Kea: I will say this much. Dan may be a dirty old man, but he and his friend are life-savers. Leilani: Dan is so not a dirty old man. Kea: Oh, come on, sis. Leilani: He's not old at all. And he's such a nice guy. Kea: Don't tell me you're into him. Leilani: Of course not. But I don't mind showing the goods if it helps us out. Cut to Ray and Jamal, currently in last place, arriving at the UN European Headquarters. Ray grabs the clue. Ray: Travel to Parc de Bastions. Jamal: And step on it. Ray: We have to get out of last. Cut to Parc de Bastions; Jeffrey and Bryan have smashed open several cauldrons and set five candies on the table. Jeffrey is smashing one after the other, but not at the same rate as Bryan; she appears more worn out. Team confessional, Jeffrey and Bryan. Bryan: We were U-Turned by Colorado, and we thought it was a joke that we had to go back and break things just to find some stupid pieces of candy just because Colorado held a grudge. Jeffrey: It was a joke. We had some crazy skull-wearing Goth take a swing at us, and then we got stuck being U-Turned. I had enough. Cut to Parc de Bastions; Tina and Jim have arrived and taken their clue from a waiting soldier. Tina opens it. Tina: Detour. Cauldron or Road Run. Jim: Road Run. Tina: Even with your knee? Jim: It's running, not playing rugby. I can do it. Tina: Well, all right. Should we go for the Fast Forward? Jim: Some other team probably already go it. Let's just start running. Cut to Jeffrey and Bryan, who now have nine candies; about 40 cauldrons remain. Bryan: Let's just knock all these cauldrons off the table and start smashing them. Jeffrey: What the hell. Bryan: Wait. Let's not. They're watching us and they'll probably throw us out. We better stick to the rules. Bryan crushes a cauldron over his knee, revealing the last candy. He grabs it, scoops up the other nine, and joyously runs to the soldier standing guard, who hands him the clue. Bryan: Travel to the village of Montreux. Jeffrey: About time. Cut to Tina and Jim, currently in eighth place, on the Road Run track; Jim is hobbling and clutching his knee. Tina (out of breath): I told you we should have done the cauldrons. Jim: I'm not switching now. Jim continues to run, falling behind Tina; he is strongly favoring his left leg, using his right only to balance. A quick pan back shows that Hayley and Alexis have begun to run; they are at the beginning while Tina and Jim are nearing the end. Tina and Jim arrive at the finish; Jim leans over and clutches his right knee as Tina takes the clue. She doesn't yet open it but turns to Jim. Tina: I told you this was a bad idea, but no; you just had to f------ run. Do you want to spend the rest of the Race on crutches? Do you want to be carried everywhere? Such a big, strong man who can't even keep his balance. Way to go. (confessional) Jim: I'm about the only guy who gets yelled at for being hurt. It's a wonder one of us hasn't killed the other yet. A quick cut to Parc de Bastions shows that Jeffrey and Bryan are gone, as are Tina and Jim. Hayley and Alexis are still working, and Reggie and Dan have grabbed their clue while Leilani and Kea are talking to their cab driver. Reggie: Detour. Cauldron or Road Run? Dan: I can't run two miles. Reggie: Let's get smashing. Pan to Leilani and Kea, currently in tenth place. Leilani: Look, these are our bags. Driver: You never told me to hold the cab. I am not responsible. Leilani: Why don't you think, though? We didn't take our bags. We never even paid you. Driver: I came back for my pay. I did not come back to give you your bags. Leilani: Well, we'll be taking them. Driver: I will not release them without pay. Leilani: Fine. What's our fare? Driver: How much do you have? Leilani: We won't be shaken down. Driver: Do you want your bags or not? Frustrated, Leilani takes out the money from her pocket; she hands it all to the driver, who then unlocks his trunk. They take their bags and proceed without a word to the driver. Team confessional, Leilani and Kea. Leilani: Our driver tried to shake us down, and I know it's illegal, but what could we do? Kea: I made sure she didn't give him all our money, just what we carried on our person. Which wasn't much. So the joke's on him. Cut back to Parc de Bastions, where Leilani and Kea have received their clue. Kea: Detour. Cauldron or Road Run. Leilani: I'm a rancher. Of course I'm in shape. Let's do the road thing. Kea: All right. Soon to arrive at Parc de Bastions are Ray and Jamal, currently in last place. Ray: Detour. Cauldron or Road Run. The cauldrons will take forever. Can you run two miles? Jamal: Sure. Let's go. Cut to Jet d'Eau, this leg's Pit Stop; Phil is standing next to a well-dressed Swiss man in all red. Arriving at the Pit Stop are Alex and Elena. Greeter: Welcome to Geneva. Phil: Alex and Elena... Phil gives off a slight smirk. Phil: ...you're team number ONE! Elena leaps into Alex's arms, and the two kiss joyously. Phil: Now I have some good news. As the winners of this leg of the Race, you have won a seven-night trip to Key West courtest of Travelocity that you can enjoy after the Race. Elena has not let go of Alex; Alex is equally entwined with Elena. Phil: Judging by how you two are acting, I assume you're going together. Elena: Of course. And we'll go together to whatever prize we win next. Cut to Montreux, where Charlie and Derek, currently in second place, have arrived at the statue of Freddie Mercury. Derek: I guess this means I can't make fun of you for being old anymore. Charlie: That expired when I kissed your girlfriend last winter. Derek: You'll never let me forget that, will you? Charlie: Nope. And when you marry her, I get to kiss her first. Derek: OK, Dad. They have medication for delusions like that. Team confessional, Charlie and Derek. Charlie: I used to be pretty into music, and Queen was definitely on my radar, so I happened to know Freddie Mercury had kind of an unusual birth name. So I put one and one together, and we found the statue. Derek: I make fun of my dad for being middle-aged and awkward, but he pulled through. I never would have figured this out. Cut to Charlie opening the clue. Charlie: Roadblock. Who's feeling "deep purple"? Cut to Phil standing on the shore of Lake Geneva in front of a model of the Montreux Casino. Phil: In this Roadblock, the chosen player must use a flare gun to shoot at a target 50 yards away. That target is a model of the Montreux Casino as it appeared the day it went up in smoke, inspiring the Deep Purple song "Smoke on the Water." When the target inside the model is hit, it will got up in flames, and the team will receive its next clue. Cut back to Charlie and Derek. Charlie: I need to do one of these. Arriving soon behind them are Carrie and Dana, currently in third place. Derek (to Carrie): Let me guess. You're a Queen fan, too? Dana: I made fun of her for being old. Carrie: And I told her she's jealous that I'm sexier than she is. Dana opens the clue. Dana: Roadblock. Who's feeling "deep purple"? If this is 1970s music, you better do it. Panning to the shoreline shows Charlie in safety goggled lined up next to Carrie; both of them have flare guns, and both shoot at the same time. They both miss the mark. Carrie: Let's raise the stakes a bit. Charlie: I'm listening. Carrie: If you hit the target first, I'll buy you a steak. Charlie: And if you hit it first, you want a steak? Carrie: I want a big slice of cheesecake. And I want to kiss Derek again. Charlie: That's between you and him. But I bet you enjoyed it when you made out with him at the Pit Stop, didn't you? Carrie: Of course. Your son's really good at that. I bet he makes his girlfriend really happy. (starting to glaze over) I just wish he wasn't so uptight about everything and could just chill out and enjoy being with me... A quick pan to Charlie shows him firing directly at the target; a few second later, it hits the target, and the model goes up in flames. Charlie: Now I like my steak cooked medium with a baked potato and an ice-cold Pepsi. But I'm sure you don't have a problem with that. Carrie (stunned): Yeah, whatever you say. Team confessional, Charlie and Derek. Charlie: Carrie's made no secret that she's attracted to Derek, so I decided to use that to my advantage, distract her, and gain a minute or two as well as a steak. Derek: I always thought it was women who used their sexuality to their advantage. Having my dad use my sexuality to his advantage is just a bit weird, but it worked. Charlie removed his safety goggles and takes the clue from the instructor. Charlie: Travel back to Geneva and find Jet d'Eau. Warning, last team to check in may be eliminated. Panning to Carrie and Dana shows Carrie shooting another flare at the model; she misses and slaps her leg. Carrie (to herself): I thought it was my job to flaunt my body. Dana (shouting): Come on, Carrie; get your head in the game. Carrie lines up another shot but misses again. Carrie: Damnit. Arriving behidn Carrie and Dana are Bobby and Caroline, currently in fourth place. Bobby: Roadblock. Who's feeling "deep purple"? I can do it. Panning to the shoreline shows Bobby with safety goggles on lining up his shot. Carrie takes a shot; she misfires and immediately glances over at Bobby, giving him a second look. Dana puts her head in her hands and sighs. Caroline starts to smile and walks over to Bobby, whispering something in his ear and gaining Carrie's attention. Team confessional, Bobby and Caroline. Caroline: At the Roadblock, I realized that Carrie has a little trouble controlling her more base urges, and it's not just with Derek. So I told Bobby to show off his body a little bit to throw Carrie off. Bobby: I'm not used to being paraded around like a piece of meat, so it was a little weird. Caroline: Come on. Normally, any excuse to strip to your underwear is good. You'd run this whole race in your underwear if you could do it. Bobby: Well, you got me there. Cut to Bobby shooting alongside Carrie; he has removed his shirt and jeans and is eyeing Carrie, who hasn't reloaded her flare gun. Bobby: So how about if you take one piece of clothing off every time you miss? Carrie: Hey, don't get too antsy. Bobby: What's the matter? Scared? Bobby immediately turns and lines up a shot; he hits the target, and his model goes up in flames. He turns, grabs his clothes, and takes the clue from the instructor. Team confessional, Carrie and Dana. Carrie: I don't know what's gotten into me lately, but I've just been easily distracted by guys. First Derek came to the Roadblock, and then Bobby, and I just couldn't concentrate. Dana: Well, of course. I'm sure you'd love a muscular guy to lounge around on your couch in his underwear. Carrie: Well, what girl wouldn't? Dana: Well, me, but you knew that. Cut to Parc de Bastions, where Leilani and Kea are neck-and-neck with Ray and Jamal finishing up Road Run; they both finish at the same time. Kea and Ray take the clues; Jamal struggles to catch his breath. Ray: Are you OK? Jamal gives a thumbs-up gesture as he wheezes. (confessional) Jamal: I haven't run two miles in forever. Besides that, I gave up smoking right before the Race started, so my stamina isn't up. I thought I was dead. Kea opens the clue first. Kea: Travel to the village of Montreux and find Farrokh Bulsara. Wait, what? Leilani: Don't look at me. Cut to Reggie and Dan at Cauldron, where they have eight candies and about 60 cauldrons left. Dan: I've never had so much fun smashing stuff. Reggie: I wish my son was here to help. Both Reggie and Dan smash cauldrons at the same time; both have candies inside. Reggie grabs both and scoops up the other eight candies, handing them to the soldier, who returns the favor with the next clue. Reggie: Travel to the village of Montreux. Cut to a street outside Montreux, where Jeffrey and Bryan have pulled off to ask for help. Bryan: Excuse me, sir. The local walks past, ignoring him. Bryan holds his hand out to flag down another local. Bryan: Excuse me, ma'am. Do you know who Farrokh Bulsara is? Local: I'm sorry; I do not. Team confessional, Jeffrey and Bryan. Bryan: We had to find someone naed Farrokh Bulsara, and I'd never heard that name in my life. I assumed we were looking for a live person. Jeffrey: I didn't know, either. I thought maybe it was a lake or a monument or something. I just had no clue, especially about some political figure. Cut back to Bryan talking to another local. Bryan: Do you know who Farrokh Bulsara is? Local: I have no idea. Bryan: Damn. F---. Bryan throws his arms in the air and grabs his forehead. The screen cuts to commercial.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 04-22-08, 02:30 PM (EST) 4. "The Amazing Race: Episode 5 - "I Suppose You Speak Swiss, Too"" Blog Entry, 10/9/2008 Authored by: Taylor Nabors, blueinbiloxi It's always been hard dating a guy that my father didn't get along with. But it's never been all-out war between the two most important men in my life - until now. And I feel like I'm forced to pick a side instead of being the Red Cross like I usually try to be in family disputes. Jamal says he walked in on my father with another woman. Jamal's story was that he was going to the prison Dad works at to drop off something, and he found Dad in an inappropriate...shall we say, embrace with a female officer in her mid-twenties. He confronted Dad, and whatever progress the two made on the show is gone; they hate each other again. Jamal told me about it, and I'll just say that I think Jamal's either lying or got the wrong impression. Dad has never and would never cheat on Mom, and I think it's upsetting that he lets something this juvenile get in the way of our own relationship. He even asked me if I was cheating on him, since defending my father from charges of infidelity obviously makes me a cheater myself. Jamal hasn't talked to me in about four days. I have no idea what he's up to, and really, I couldn't care less. As mad as I am at him, if it turns out he crawled into a sewer and shot himself, I won't shed one tear over it. I obviously didn't have much of a future to look forward to anyway; by his logic, I'm a cheater because my father's a cheater, which he's not...so by that logic, Jamal will be a lousy father and abandon his wife and kids just like his own drunk father did. Chew on that for a while, little boy, and then come crawling back to me, and I'll consider letting you back in my life. It almost seems like, the worse Dad and Jamal do on the Race, the worse their relationship is, at least back home. They've been bottom-feeders ever since Jamal went googly-eyed over Dana...gee whiz, thank you very much, jerk...serves you right that she's a lesbian...and I don't think they'll last much longer. They're racing terribly, sticking to the back of the pack, and that gets you nowhere. Absolutely nowhere. And I really don't care. I never expected them to win the million or even one of those crappy trips that Jamal will no doubt try to take his other girlfriend on, so it means nothing to me. Come crawling back when you can do better than baseless accusations against me and my father. And another thing - your smoking bothers me now. Just not as much as your personality. Back from commercial. Bryan: Do you know who Farrokh Bulsara is? Local: I have no idea. Bryan: Damn. F---. Bryan throws his arms in the air and grabs his forehead. Team confessional, Jeffrey and Bryan. Bryan: We got to Montreux pretty quickly, but we had no idea who the person we were looking for was, so we got stuck. No one who lived there had any idea, and some people were rather rude about it. Jeffrey: It's what we get for trusting a bunch of foreigners. So we decided to just stalk another team and follow them wherever they went. Cut to the Roadblock; Carrie still has not yet hit the target. Dana (rubbing Carrie's shoulders): Come on, Carrie. Hit that target and I'll buy you a slice of cheesecake. Carrie (crying): We're almost out of money, Dana. What are we going to do? Dana kisses Carrie on the cheek. Dana: Just keep shooting. You came close a couple of times. Do that again. Team confessional, Carrie and Dana. Carrie: I had a nervous breakdown at the Roadblock. I couldn't hit the target, and Dana tried everything to calm me down. I just couldn't do it. I think part of that is that I'm not eating the way I should be, and I get nervous and upset when I don't eat what I want. Dana: So I did what I always do, and I promised her some cheesecake if she does it. Cut to Carrie shooting another flare; this one connects with the target, which goes up in flames. The instructor tries to hand her the next clue; she tearfully embraces him while he stands somewhat uncomfortably. Dana takes the clue from him, and she unwraps Carrie from the instructor and allows her to cry on her shoulder. Soon, Dana opens the clue. Dana: Travel to Jet d'Eau. Warning, last team to check in may be eliminated. Come on, Carrie; let's get going! Don't give up now! Carrie: I'll never give up. It's just hard sometimes. Dana grabs Carrie's hand, and the two depart the area. Cut to Spike and Jennifer, currently in fifth place, arriving in Montreux; they pass Jeffrey and Bryan. Bryan (to Jeffrey): Let's follow them. Spike and Jennifer; increase their speed; heading for the statue of Freddie Mercury; they take a quick turn away, and Jeffrey and Bryan follow them. They find some bushes and duck away. Team confessional, Spike and Jennifer. Spike: Ohio started following us, and I was really uncomfortable with that. Bryan put me in the hospital once and tried to poison me. Jennifer: So I decided to get them off our backs when they cornered us. Jeffrey and Bryan are standing over Spike and Jennifer, who are huddled in the bushes. Bryan: What gives? You hiding something from us? Come on out! Jennifer: F--- off. Bryan: That's no way to talk to a competitor. Jennifer: Maybe if you just went and f----- off, we wouldn't have to. Now why don't you go bother some other team? Bryan: We're just trying to find this statue, and we figured you could help us. Jennifer (shouting): We're not f------ helping you assh----. Get the f--- away from us or we'll call the f------ cops and tell them you're f------ stalking us, and you'll go to jail. Turn around and go back where you came from or we'll f------ do it. Bryan stands stunned, biting his lower lip. Spike (screaming): Well, go on, bitches. Get the f--- out of here or we'll call the damn cops! Go try to murder some other f------ team! Bryan puts his hands up defensively and walks away; Jeffrey glares angrily as Bryan drags her back. Spike (to Jennifer): Make sure they can't see us before going ahead. Spike and Jennifer arrive at the statue; no one else is there. Jennifer: Roadblock. Who's feeling "deep purple"? I'll do it. Jennifer runs over, grabs a flare gun, puts on safety goggles, and Spike waits. Jennifer's first shot goes wild. Jennifer: Damn. I have no idea how to fire one of these things. Spike (shouting): Come on, Jen; let's get out of here before those assh---- catch up! Jennifer (to herself): Thanks a lot, Spike. Jennifer fires her gun again; this time, the shot misses in the other direction. Cut to Jet d'Eau, where Phil is waiting with a Swiss greeter; Charlie and Derek arrive. Phil: Charlie and Derek...you're team number two! Derek high-fives Charlie and he whoops and hollers, laughing and chest-bumping his father. Phil: You guys have been at or near the top every time. Is it tough finishing second so often? Derek: It's only tough if we don't pull it together at the end. It sucks to end up second no matter what you're doing. Cut back to the Roadblock, where Jennifer is still trying to shoot; she is reloading her flare gun after another unsuccessful shot. Spike has her hands wrenched and is looking on anxiously. Jennifer closes one eye and aims her gun. She fires, and a slow-motion shot of the flare shows a perfect arc. The flare lands at the center of the target, and the model is lit ablaze. Panning back to Jennifer shows her excitedly pumping her fist as she and Spike gather around the instructor, who hands Jennifer the clue. Jennifer: Travel to Jet d'Eau. Spike: And quickly, before those bitches catch up. Cut to Jet d'Eau, where Bobby and Caroline are arriving; Bobby has put his clothes back on. Phil: Bobby and Caroline...you're team number three! Caroline kisses Bobby as the two joyously jump up and down; Caroline smiles broadly as they both calm down. Phil: How does it feel to be near the top now? Bobby: A hell of a lot better than being at the bottom. Cut to Montreux, where Jeffrey and Bryan are standing confused, having left the heart of the village. Behind them are Tina and Jim, currently in seventh place, who are approaching the village; Jim is hobbling but holding up. Tina (to Jim): So do we know where we're going? Jim: I looked it up in Geneva. I asked a local; I know exactly where we're going. As Tina and Jim enter the village, Jeffrey and Bryan, currently in seventh place, begin to follow them. Tina and Jim do not react as if they know they are being followed. Team confessional, Jeffrey and Bryan. Bryan: Since we had no idea what we were doing in Montreux, we just followed USC. Jeffrey: They had no idea we were following them. They're not observant at all, to go along with their other deficiencies as human beings. Cut to the Freddie Mercury statue, where Tina and Jim have arrived. Tina: Roadblock. Who's feeling "deep purple"? I better do one. Soon after, Jeffrey and Bryan arrive. Bryan: Roadblock. Who's feeling "deep purple"? You better do it. Jeffrey: Excuse me? Bryan: You haven't done a single Roadblock yet. Jeffrey: Can't you do them? Bryan: Not all of them. You need to do some. Jeffrey (rolling her eyes): Fine. Tina lines up next to Jeffrey; both have safety goggles on, and Jeffrey's hands do not appear to be steady while Tina's do. However, Tina starts to lose her focus, and her face appears to fill with rage as she fires. Jeffrey fires at the same time, and her shot goes wild; Tina's hits the model but not the target. Tina: Where did you learn to shoot, anyway, the Gun Club for Caffeine Addicts? You suck. Jeffrey: Look ahead and keep your mouth shut, bitch. Tina: I'm sorry, assh---; is this distracting? Jeffrey: I said shut up or I'll kick the s--- out of you-- Jeffrey shoots off a flare that misses wildly; Tina turns, focuses, and shoots a perfect flare that hits her target. Tina: Have fun, bitch. Tina takes her clue and opens it as Jim walks up to meet her. Tina: Travel to (whispering in Jim's ear) Jet d'Eau. Jim: Got it. Cut to Jet d'Eau, where Carrie and Dana are arriving. Carrie is still shaken up. Phil: Carrie and Dana...you're team number four! Carrie embraces Dana, still crying and shaking. Phil: Carrie, is everything OK? Dana: Get this poor woman something sweet. If you have a bottle of Gatorade, we need it. Phil: I'm on it. Cut to the Roadblock, where Jeffrey is reloading her flare gun, and Hayley and Alexis are arriving. Hayley: Roadblock. Who's feeling "deep purple"? I'll do it. Alexis: If it involves a gun, I better do it. Hayley: Come on. I'm trained in self-defense. I'll get through this faster than that dumb bitch. Hayley puts on her safety goggles and loads the flare gun; she stands down from Jeffrey, whose shot goes wild. Hayley stands firm and shoots directly at the target; her first shot connects, setting the model ablaze. Alexis runs over and high-fives her as the instructor hands Hayley the clue. Hayley: Travel to Jet d'Eau. Cut to Jeffrey attempting the Roadblock some more; her last shot went wide, just grazing the model. Bryan: Come on; you got this! Just a little closer-- Jeffrey (angrily): Shut up! Jeffrey aims her shot, and it arcs, landing in the atarget area; the model is set ablaze; Jeffrey drops her flare gun, forcibly removes her safety goggles, and grabs the clue from the instructor. Jeffrey: Travel to Jet d'Eau. Bryan: And I know we're not in last. Cut to Jet d'Eau, where Spike and Jennifer are arriving; Spike looks exhausted but doing well otherwise. Phil: Spike and Jennifer...you're team number five! Jennifer warmly embraces an exhausted Spike, who returns the favor; Jennifer strokes Spike's hair. Phil: How has the Race strengthened your relationship? Jennifer: I'm seeing a side of Spike that I never imagined. She puts up a tough front, and she doesn't let anyone into her heart. I feel like I know her better than the whole time we were dating. Phil: Spike, how do you feel about that? Spike: I thought for a while that everything was just over between me and Jen. I didn't think she accepted me, but I was wrong. She takes better care of me than I do of myself. Cut to Montreux, where Ray and Jamal, currently in ninth place, are at the Roadblock. Ray: Roadblock. Who's feeling "deep purple"? Can you do it? Jamal: Sure. Soon after, Leilani and Kea, currently in tenth place, arrive. Leilani: Roadblock. Who's feeling "deep purple"? I wouldn't know anything about that. Kea: I'll handle it. Both Jamal and Kea's first shots go wide; neither appears to have steady hands. Soon after, Reggie and Dan, currently in last place, arrive. Reggie: Roadblock. Who's feeling "deep purple"? I got this one. Dan: Good. I can go chat with Leilani. Reggie: Enjoy. Team confessional, Reggie and Dan. Dan: I really felt a personal connection between myself and Leilani, and I wanted to get to know her a little better. Reggie: And naturally, I'm worried about us losing our focus. Dan: Hey, an alliance is an alliance. Better tham than Ray and Jamal. Reggie: Fair enough. Those guys could be tough. Reggie, Jamal, and Kea are lined up side by side; none has hit a target, and when Jamal shoots, he misses wide. Cut to Jet d'Eau, where a gimpy Jim is accompanied by Tina to the mat. Phil: Tina and Jim...you're team number six! Jim keels over slightly, grabbing his knee while Tina winces in sympathetic pain. Phil: Jim, can you handle this? Jim: I've made it this far. How bad can the rest of the Race be? Phil: Do you anticipate surgery after the Race? Jim (wincing): Probably. Cut later to Hayley and Alexis arriving at the Pit Stop; they appear fierce and focused. Phil: Hayley and Alexis...you're team number seven! Two exchange a double-high-five and scream loudly in joy. Another cut to near Jet d'Eau shows Jeffrey and Bryan arriving; neither looks pleased. Phil: Jeffrey and Bryan...you're team number eight! Jeffrey does not smile or even appear happy; Bryan gives a frustrated look. In the background, two people come out to escort them back; they appear officially dressed, and Phil holds out a hand to prevent Jeffrey and Bryan from walking back. Cut to Montreux, where Reggie, Kea, and Jamal are all still attempting the Roadblock. Reggie lines up a shot for a minute; he doesn't shoot, waiting for Kea's shot to go off. Reggie closes one eye, lining up the shot; he lets go, and the flare lands right in his target area, lighting the model ablaze. The instructor hands him the clue. Reggie: Travel to Jet d'Eau. Warning, last team to check in may be eliminated. Dan: Let's rock. Dan turns to Leilani as he leaves the area. Dan: Tell your sister I say good luck. Leilani (smiling): I'll be sure to do that. (confessional) Lailani: I think Dan was interested in me as more than just a friend. I like the guy, but not in that way. Cut to the Roadblock later; both Jamal and Kea are still shooting. Kea has just missed a shot. Jamal lines up his shot. It misses wide. (confessional) Jamal: I just couldn't buy a shot. Here I am up against some girl from Hawaii who's never fired a gun in her life, and I can't shoot. Kea lines up her shot and fires; a mere second after, Jamal shoots. Both hit the target, and both are lit ablaze. Kea and Jamal high-five each other, and their partners join them as they receive their clues. Cut to Jet d'Eau; Reggie and Dan are arriving. Phil: Reggie and Dan...you're team number nine! The two exchange a double-fist-pound gesture and laugh as they celebrate. Cut to the streets of Geneva; Ray and Jamal are in a cab, and Leilani and Kea are in a different cab. Leilani: Can you go faster? We're in a hurry. Andale! Kea: Leilani! They don't speak Spanish in Switzerland! Leilani: Well, how can I say "faster" in Swiss? Kea: I don't know. Cut to Jet d'Eau, outside of which a taxi appears to be arriving, with another one close behind. Ray and Jamal grab their things out of the back; they pay the driver and start sprinting. Leilani and Kea throw several bills at the driver, taking their stuff, which was on their lap, and running in. The view from Phil's standpoint shows two figures running up to the mat; there are not two other figures behind them. As the figures get more in focus, it is clear that Ray and Jamal are arriving. They take their spots on the mat. Phil: Ray and Jamal... He looks at them solemnly. Phil: ...you're team number ten! Jamal leaps up and pumps his fist; he and Ray high-five each other. Cut to Leilani and Kea arriving; in the distance, Ray and Jamal have walked off. They take their places on the mat. Greeter: Welcome to Geneva. Phil: Leilani and Kea...you are the last team to arrive. Phil looks slightly downward as if to sigh but makes no sound. Phil: I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the Race. Kea: Was it at least close? Phil: Yes, it was close. Team confessional, Leilani and Kea. Kea: We went out early, but at least we got to see a big part of the world and do things we never imagined. There's a big worls out there, and I'd love to see it all. Leilani: I'm happy with my life up to this point, but I've learned how wonderful th eworld can be, and I don't fault my sister at all for wanting to be a part of it. It's just not always for me. Kea: I'll travel with my sister in the future, once I get some money. I'll always consider Leilani a friend, and she's always welcome in my world. Leilani: Reggie and Dan, if you're watching, thanks a million for helping us out at the UN. You are both true friends. Cut to Leilani and Kea at the finish mat; they are holding hands and standing proudly. The credits begin to roll. Phil (voice-over): Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode. The screen cuts to commercial. Episode 5: Elimination Station Summary Authored by: Dr. Rage As expected, the first scene is of two tired Racers arriving in Guam and realizing, as some sort of oh-my-God-this-can't-be-real revelation, that Guam is, in fact, an island. It's great news for most, sure. However, Leilani and Kea have lived their entire lives in the Hawaiian Islands, having never set foot on this crazy thing called a "continent" before the Race, so a few weeks on an island is just like home. Which is fine, if you're a business traveler. But their attitude toward staying in Guam was basically feigned excitement; they basically were thinking, "OK, let's get this over with. Fly us to the last city and let's pick a winner, and for the love of God, don't end this thing in Honolulu." No one was too shocked to see Leilani and Kea walk through the door; even the Hawaiians admitted to being one of the weakest theams out there. However, they expressed surprise that Bobby and Caroline are even in the Race, let alone doing well. They told the others that Colorado finished third without the Fast Forward, and I think most of the other Racers could have been knocked over with a feather. So the Hawaiians held back the detail that Bobby did another Roadblock. Naturally, everyone really wanted to know what happened on the Race during the Switzerland leg, and it was enough of a shock for Debra and Bob that they went to Switzerland at all. The first location was a favorite of Steve's; Leilani disappointed him by saying that they didn't bring any pictures. The first bombshell was dropped by Leilani - she thinks Dan's in love with her. He may or may not be; they've both been mum on the subject, and so has Reggie and Dan's blogger. Leilani reiterated that she considers Dan a good friend and would love to see him again, even if it means flying out to the D.C. area, but as for anything more than that, her official position is, "Come on. The guy's 45." Another thing Kea found out through the grapevine - Jeffrey and Bryan have been sequestered during Pit Stops. Kea called this move "a total load of crap," not because she doesn't think Jeffrey and Bryan deserve to be punished. She thinks that being sequestered would be an advantage more than a drawback, since, in her mind, "they won't have other people bothering them and they can sleep and eat in peace." Darius replied with, "There's no way I would ever ask those assholes to do anything with me." Besides, Kea added, "if they had been thrown off the Race like they should have been, we wouldn't be here." Darius laughs, saying, "Amen, sister." Jessica gives him a bit of a raised eyebrow, and he quickly stops laughing. Kea tells Eric he's a funny guy from what she saw of him on Big Brother, but she commits a faux pas by asking him if the pony-hawk was hard to style. Uh, Kea, you're thinking of Sanjaya. And to think, I thought Hawaii was somehow all-powerful when it comes to picking the Idol winner. Here's someone who doesn't even watch, let alone vote. We might actually have been spared Sanjaya if Kea had just voted. Another amusing piece of information straight from Lailani's mouth - Carrie tried desperately to hook up with Derek at the Pit Stop in Wales. Derek wasn't interested and even started shouting at her, calling her a "horny bitch" who "needs to focus on her own boyfriend." A couple of hours later, Carrie apologized and the two made up. Leilani could barely contain her laughter as she described Derek, who, by all accounts, is a red-blooded heterosexual male, angrily turning away a beautiful woman who, according to Leilani, wasn't exactly fully dressed. As Leilani puts it, "We all found out that Carrie had more than just her tongue pierced." Everyone went out to play a little beach volleyball, and the teams didn't look fair on the surface - weak little Debra and Bob got paired with Eric and Jessica while Steve and Darius joined forced with beach-dwellers Leilani and Kea. And from the way the game seemed to go, the result was just as lopsided, although Leilani was a hellion on the beach. Eric told her she should go pro, and she smiled and said she'd consider it. The Hawaiian-led team won the game by a score of 15-3, according to Darius the official scorekeeper. Jessica insisted it was more like 15-7. Kea was a little frustrated that Steve was the only single guy at the resort, but that didn't stop her from spending hours in his bedroom talking with him. Even the revelation that Steve's gay didn't stop them; she was really interested in the restaurant, his book, and his nickname, which she started using. After their conversation, she also made a decision - she's going back to college with this money even if she has to borrow money to do it. She's about three semesters shy of graduating with a degree in business, and she's going to do it. Unfortunately, she stops short of a Bluto-inspired speech involving a reference to the Germans bombing Pearl Harbor, so that particular scene was less than inspiring. Leilani and Kea said that it was likeliest that Ray and Jamal were out next. Ray and Jamal finished less than a minute ahead of Leilani and Kea, and if they just had a decent taxi driver, the Hawaiians would still be in the Race. It's always the damn taxi drivers. Let this be a lesson to all you young Hawaiian females - never trust a Swiss taxi driver. Blech. Despite being tired, Leilani and Kea seem to stay up late, taking an opportunity to enjoy the fresh sea air. That or they're just sore with themselves for being eliminated so early and don't think they can sleep. Debra suggests that they grab some bikes and go riding, though Kea declines, saying, "I rode enough bikes in college; I never want to see another one again." I guess Debra must have talked her into it, becauxe Kea was on a bike the next day by the beach. Darius appears to have kept his secret to himself about cheating on his wife this time. Hey, he said it once; pretty soon, the whole nation found out. No point in making the Hawaiians think you're a creep, too. Knowing Kea, if she thinks you're a jerk, she might do something really bad to you, like, say, take a dump in your suitcase or steal your identity or something. From what I hear about her, she's about two steps shy of crazy in this regard. The scene ends with the eight of them popping open champagne and several of them drinking it. Not sure what they're celebrating, but I'd like a glass of that stuff right now. Back from commercial. Phil (voice-over): One the next episode of the Amazing Race...teams are forced to wrok together in the lastest game twist. Cut to an Intersection sign; a scene of Spike and Jennifer arriving is followed by a shot of Jeffrey and Bryan arriving. Phil (voice-over): Ray loses his cool with Jamal. Ray: This is f------ ridiculous! Do what I say! Phil (voice-over): And Carrie breaks down. Cut to Carrie holding Dana and crying on her shoulder; Derek tries to comfort her but appears not to succeed. Voice-over: Stay tuned for an all-new CSI: Miami coming up next. Order of finish: 1. Alex and Elena, 5:50 pm 2. Charlie and Derek, 7:19 pm 3. Bobby and Caroline, 7:28 pm 4. Carrie and Dana, 7:51 pm 5. Spike and Jennifer, 8:53 pm 6. Tina and Jim, 10:04 pm 7. Hayley and Alexis, 10:10 pm 8. Jeffrey and Bryan, 10:26 pm 9. Reggie and Dan, 11:22 pm 10. Ray and Jamal, 11:57 pm 11. Leilani and Kea, 11:58 pm   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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