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"Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 10 - “We Don't Exactly Get HBO Out Here”"
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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

07-23-07, 09:49 AM (EST)
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"Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 10 - “We Don't Exactly Get HBO Out Here”"

Survivor Live Excerpts: Harriet Holden

The screen shows Dalton Ross, host of Survivor Live, along with guest host Candice Woodcock on a faux jungle background with a Survivor: All-Stars II logo.

Dalton: Helloooo again, Survivor fans, and welcome to another edition of Survivor Live. I'm your host, Dalton Ross, and with me is special guest host Candice Woodcock of Survivor: Cook Islands.

Candice: It's great to be here. And it's about time we're ready to merge. Really, I'm not sure that the right ten people made the merge. It's really too bad for Jonathan that he didn't fit in, because I think he probably learned a lot from being out in the Cook Islands. I fought with him a lot on the island, sure, but after the show, he was a pretty nice guy.

Dalton: Jonathan's the first member of what looks like an extended jury, and joining us today is Harriet Holden of Survivor: Japan, the most recent season.

The camera pans back to show Dalton and Candice along with Harriet, who is wearing jeans and a long-sleeved green blouse.

Candice: Welcome to the show, Harriet.

Harriet: It's good to be here.

Dalton: Harriet, I guess we have to ask first, how's your knee?

Harriet: I got the stitches out before we left the islands for good. There's no permanent damage, and it feels fine.

Candice: Was the knee a factor in you being voted out?

Harriet: Not at all. In fact, I tried to convince everyone that I couldn't beat them in challenges because of it. But they didn't go for it, since they saw Cirie on the other side and thought she was too weak to win a challenge. So they thought they'd take their chances.

Dalton: You only got four votes. Maria got the other two. Is there any possibility of fallout from that?

Harriet: Paula promised she wouldn't vote for me, and she didn't. It's probably the last point in the game where she could get away with a move like that.

Candice: Because the merge is next?

Harriet: Exactly. Anything after this is just tipping your hand. If Paula reaches the final vote, I'm more inclined to give it to her, or at least that was my thought process when I left. A lot happened at the merge, and I don't think anyone knows what to think anymore.

Dalton: So you saw yourself as giving your vote to Paula if she made it to the end?

Harriet: By this point, it was pretty clear that nine of us would be facing three finalists. I don't think Jeff ever explained what happens in case there's a three-way tie.

The Show Begins - air date 04/17/2008

The camera shows an overview of the Gambier Islands; the camera shot appears to move quickly.

Jeff (voice-over): Previously on Survivor...Fati was nervous about Maria being with the other tribe.

(confessional) Tom: We lost the immunity challenge, and the other tribe kidnapped Maria. We need Maria to make sure we have a strong alliance into the merge.

Jeff (voice-over): But Danni had a surprise for Charlie.

Danni: I didn't want him to waste his breath by telling us he was playing the idol.

Danni takes a turtle-like object out of her pocket; this object is clearly a hidden immunity idol.

Danni: Because I found it.

Charlie: Get out of town.

Jeff (voice-over): At Ta'aroa, Paula recruited Maria into her alliance.

Paula (to Maria): You, me, and our alliance to the final six.

Maria: I could do that. Who all do you have as our alliance?

Paula: Ozzy, Yau-Man, and Twila are definitely in. On this tribe, Terry and Harriet are the most likely to flip.

Jeff (voice-over): At the challenge, Fati built a tangled structure that would be hard to penetrate.

The camera shows Fati throwing rope over a bunch of tangled logs.

Jeff (voice-over): But Ta'aroa one-upped them when Yau-Man set their structure on fire.

Jeff: Yau-Man! What the hell are you doing?

Yau-Man: They're not getting into the structure if it's on fire!

Danni: That's against the rules!

Jeff: There's no rule against lighting the structure on fire if they can do it!

Jeff (voice-over): Maria even used her tank top and shorts as a fuse for the fire.

The camera shows Maria lighting her clothes on fire and tossing them over the structure.

Jeff (voice-over): While Fati struggled to put the fire out...

The camera shows Tom and Charlie throwing water on the structure while Cirie and Danni try to smother the flames with sand.

Jeff (voice-over): ...Ta'aroa made it to their flag with ease.

The camera shows Terry opening the chest and tossing Maria the flag.

Jeff (voice-over): And that gave Ta'aroa an easy victory.

Jeff: Ta'aroa wins reward!

Jeff (voice-over): Maria opted to enjoy the reward with Ta'aroa, and she was surprised with a new twist in the game.

Jeff: You decided to stay here with Ta'aroa, and so you shall. You are now a member of Ta'aroa. Enjoy.

Jeff (voice-over): Maria reacted to the news the only way she knew how.

Paula: So I have to ask, Maria. Why burn your clothes?

Maria: I wanted to win. I wanted to make sure we could win.

Paula: But the bikini stayed.

Maria: Oh, if you insist...

Maria undoes her bikini top and then slides down her bottom. All of Ta'aroa, even the reserved Terry, cheers.

(confessional) Paula: It just isn't Survivor if Maria doesn't get naked.

Jeff (voice-over): Even in her relaxed state, Maria had to make an important game decision.

Jeff: Someone on this tribe is joining the other tribe. Who is it? You have one minute to give me a name.

Jeff (voice-over): Maria sent Terry to take her place on Fati. And without him, the tribe continued to relax.

Yau-Man (to Paula): So we have the five, right?

Paula: To hell with it. Worry about it tomorrow.

Yau-Man: Well, what about Terry on the other tribe?

Paula: He's on the other tribe, Yau. Now shut up and get busy relaxing.

Jeff (voice-over): At Fati, however, it was all work and no play.

Terry (to Tom): Right now, the other tribe's probably trying to order margaritas and nachos. They're probably coming into the next challenge with their heads in the clouds, and we're coming at them like a ton of bricks.

Jeff (voice-over): The disciplined Fati tribe took a big lead in the challenge.

Jeff: Fati with a big lead!

The camera shows Fati finishing a maze.

Jeff: Fati scores!

Jeff (voice-over): While Ta'aroa was disorganized.

Ozzy: No, Maria, bring your end down.

Maria: Which way is down?

Jeff: Maria doesn't know which way down is!

Jeff (voice-over): Ta'aroa caught up, but in the end, it wasn't enough.

The camera shows Fati's last ball dropping.

Jeff: Fati wins immunity!

Jeff (voice-over): Back at camp, Harriet tried to swing an all-Japan alliance.

Harriet: You, me, and Maria in what should at least be an alliance for a day.

Paula: Who's the target?

Harriet: Twila doesn't fit into our plans.

Jeff (voice-over): Paula tried to sell Twila's dismissal.

Paula (to Ozzy): Harriet suggested kicking off Twila.

Ozzy: Harriet's just trying to save herself.

Paula: Can you blame her?

Jeff (voice-over): But Harriet changed her direction and targeted Maria.

Paula (to Harriet): Look, Twila's a loyal soldier. Voting her off's a bad idea.

Harriet: Don't do this to me.

Paula: But Maria's a danger, and I have no problem blindsiding her.

Jeff (voice-over): At Tribal Council, Harriet told the tribe she's holding up OK.

Jeff: Harriet, how's your knee?

Harriet: Seems to be healing. I still have some pain, but it's not really that bad.

Jeff (voice-over): She and Paula sent votes toward Maria.

The camera shows Paula's vote for Maria.

Jeff (voice-over): But the rest of the tribe voted for Harriet, and without an idol to save her, she became the second member of the jury.

Jeff: Harriet, the tribe has spoken.

Jeff snuffs Harriet's torch.

Jeff: Ten are left. Who will be voted out tonight?

The camera shows a quick overview of the Gambiers as the Survivor theme begins to play. The first sequence appears to be out of the Japan opening spliced with the Vanuatu opening; a cannon appears in the background, and the music appears to be an amalgamation of the past seven themes with some imagery from each. Player intros are given in alphabetical order by tribe, with Fati going first and Ta'aroa going second. All screen shots of players in this intro are from the first episode, and all are wearing their tribes' buffs. As the intro comes to a close, images of the last seven settings centered around a pirate ship appear to fade as the Survivor: All-Stars II logo is superimposed over the center of the screen. The logo appears similar to the first All-Stars logo except it reads "All-Stars II" and the dominant background color is a bold red instead of blue. The green from the old All-Stars logo is replaced with a dark blue, and the text is silver.

At this point, the screen cuts to commercial.

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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings
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07-23-07, 09:52 AM (EST)
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1. "Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 10 - “We Don't Exactly Get HBO Out Here”"
REPORT: "Survivor" Wins Again Despite Slight Ratings Drop

UPI News Service, 04/12/2008

The latest installment of "Survivor" has a massive following; whether it's due to a great cast or the rumors that it's the last season for the show remain to be seen. Regardless of the reason, it's still atop the ratings.

The show earned a 20.3/34 rating for the last pre-merge episode, claiming nearly 35 million viewers; not even FOX's "24" came close, earning only a rating of 12.5/21. "Ugly Betty" was a distant third, with an 8.4/14 share.

The ratings for "Survivor" have gone up steadily since the beginning of the current All-Stars season; many credit the resurgence of the show partially to the use of an all-applicant cast in Japan the season before. Still others credit the controversy before the season concerning "Japan" winner Maria Savovic, who got naked in the last episode for only the second time this season.

"If the naked girl gets ratings, we're putting her in the forefront," said a spokesperson for Mark Burnett, executive producer of "Survivor." The spokesperson went on to say, "We think that the most compelling Survivors made the merge. And we think the game's shaping up for some major fireworks."

Back form commercial.

Makaroa Island, Ta'aroa camp, Night 24. The tribe is arriving back from Tribal Council with five, including new member Maria, who pulls Paula aside.

Maria: Do you know who threw that other vote at me?

Paula: Yeah, I did.

Maria: What? You know how tight we have to be. Why are you going and stirring up trouble?

Paula: I promised Harriet I wouldn't vote for her. I knew she was going.

Maria: Then it should have been unanimous. We have to stay together. This is not a drill, Paula. We could be merging tomorrow.

(confessional) Maria: The stray vote for me is no big deal. I'm only upset about the timing of it. If Paula will send a message like that, then she will send a message like it when we merge.

Paula: Give it a rest, OK? I'm with you guys.

Maria: That's what I told the other tribe, and they believed it, and now I'm back here with you.

Paula: So wait, they think you're with them?

Maria: Yes, why?

(confessional) Paula: Why indeed? Why would I want Fati to think Maria's with them? It's too perfect.

Paula (to Ozzy): The other tribe thinks Maria's with them.

Ozzy: Well, is she?

Paula: She came with us, didn't she? She came here and didn't give them a chance to eat with us. Who could trust her over there?

(confessional) Ozzy: Maria's pretty much a persona non grata on the other tribe. She has to be with us. We're her only chance.

Paula (to Twila): Look, I know you used to be on the other tribe. Just tell me you're with us, and I won't say anything.

Twila: I'm with you guys. I swear on my--

Paula: Don't even say it, Tanner.

(confessional) Paula: Twila almost swore on her son, and the last time she did that, she didn't go through with it. I can't have that, and neither can this tribe.

Kamaka Island, Fati camp, Day 25. The tribe is hard at work; Tom, Cirie, and Terry are conferring while preparing fish.

Tom: There's five here and five there. Twila's one of us. I think we can flip her.

Terry: Maybe if Harriet stuck around, we can get her.

Cirie: What can we promise these people?

Terry: That they'll go out after Charlie and Danni, at the very least.

(confessional) Cirie: If we rope Twila in, we can promise her final four, and then we vote either her or Terry off at that point. I probably win in that scenario, so I don't see a problem with it.

The camera switches to Charlie and Danni, who are cracking open coconuts for the tribe.

Charlie: I wonder what those pinheads are trying to do.

Danni: Whatever it is, you can be sure it doesn't involve us.

Charlie: Remember the plan, though. We're good as long as everything falls into place.

(confessional) Danni: Charlie and I don't quite control the game, but it's not hard for us to be able to control it. If Tom and Cirie try to cut us loose, we'll just align with the part of the tribe that doesn't flip over and turn the tables on them.

Danni: So who from the other tribe is likely to flip?

Charlie: Assuming Tom, Cirie, and Terry are in an alliance without us, they probably go after Maria. We just need to get in with the rest of the tribe.

Danni: Do you think that puts out in fifth and sixth?

Charlie: Not even close. Remember, we just need a loyal soldier who's in with us, and we can't lose. That or an immunity idol, and you have one of those.

The camera switches to Angakauitai Island, Day 25. The two tribes row onto the neutral camp, where two tribal mats are placed near the Survivor: All-Stars II flag.

Jeff: Come on in, Fati!

The Fati tribe files in; Tom leads, followed by Cirie, Terry, Danni, and Charlie, in that order.

Jeff: Come on in, Ta'aroa!

The Ta'aroa tribe files in; Ozzy leads, followed by Paula, Yau-Man, Maria, and Twila.

Jeff: Fati getting their first look at the new Ta'aroa tribe. Harriet voted out at the last Tribal Council.

Tom (to Cirie): So we go after Twila?

Cirie: Makes sense.

Jeff: Let's get to today's challenge. It is for reward. I have here some envelopes. Tom, come on up and get yours.

Tom walks up, and Jeff hands him an envelope that resembles a small accordion-file. Tom reaches inside and pulls out a bundle of American currency.

Tom: There's cash in here!

Tom gives an excited look all around. Some others follow suit.

Jeff: There is a thousand dollars in $20 bills in that envelope. I have nine more just like it. Everyone else, come on up and grab them.

The rest of the tribe comes up to get their envelopes. One person pulls out a bundle with what appears to be a red cloth item. The camera shows that this is Yau-Man undoing what is shown to be a red buff.

Yau-Man: We're merging!

Jeff: Everyone has a buff just like it in the envelope. Congratulations, everyone; you made the merge.

Both tribes discard their old buffs, dropping them at Jeff's feet; they replace the old buffs with new, bold red ones. The buffs are a slightly metallic replica of Xhakum red.

Jeff: Fati and Ta'aroa are no more, and your campsites are also no more. Your rewards will be packed up and sent here. For the duration of the game, you will live right here where it all began.

(confessional) Yau-Man: I know all about starting over in the middle of the game. But this time, we have stuff to work with. We're not at bare-bones like when I was in Fiji. Watch and learn, everyone.

Jeff: There are a few matters of business to attend to. I will let you guys name the new tribe after I'm gone. But you're probably wondering what all the money is for. Well, I'll tell you, but first, I have to know. Is anyone in possession of an immunity idol?

The camera focuses on Danni and Maria, who are noticeably silent.

Jeff: Anyone who has one needs to come up here and hand it to me right now.

Danni nervously takes the idol out of her pocket and walks slowly up to Jeff.

Jeff: Danni handing over an idol. Come on; I know there's more.

Maria gives a defeated look before pulling out her idol and passing it up to Jeff.

Jeff: I assume that's all of them.

No one else says a word.

Jeff: Good. Danni and Maria, your idols are no longer useful in the game. However, we're not just going to leave you empty-handed. I have here an additional envelope for each of you.

Jeff hands each of them a smaller envelope. The two open it up to see more money and a scroll inside.

Jeff: Don't open those scrolls just yet. The two of you will be the only ones in possession of clues to the next hidden immunity idol until the next Tribal Council.

(confessional) Danni: Jeff pretty much robbed me blind and then gave me some stuff for my trouble. It's a little like having your car stolen and getting a check from your insurance company for enough money to buy a scooter. And then, just as a token of goodwill, the insurance company enters you in a contest for a new car.

Jeff: Danni and Maria, your envelopes contain an extra $500 in $20 bills. This should come in handy.

Behind Jeff, a boat appears carrying what appears to be a table used for previous auctions. The table is situated soon in a convenient spot while everyone carries out a stool to sit on.

Jeff: In case it isn't obvious, the Survivor Auction is back. In seasons past, we have had merge feasts. Sometimes the Survivors have had to work for the feast. Sometimes they have to sacrifice. Sometimes they have to perform for it. This time, you have to pay for it. I remind you that you are allowed to pool money, but you can only split items if I say it's OK. Also, as another reward for Danni and Maria...

Jeff takes out two dishes of fresh pineapple and sets them on the table.

Jeff: ...we have pineapple for you. This is yours at no cost.

Danni and Maria get up and joyfully and take their pineapple dishes.

(confessional) Paula: For the ladies who had the idols, they got showered with all kinds of nice stuff. I guess it was a consolation, to say "We're sorry we took your best shot at winning."

Jeff pounds his gavel on the table.

Jeff: With that, the Survivor Auction is open. The first item for bids...

Jeff takes out a larger dish of pineapple.

Jeff: ...pineapple just like what Danni and Maria got, only more of it. I'll start the bidding at $20.

Charlie: Twenty.

Paula: Forty.

Ozzy: I'll do 100.

Paula: One twenty.

Jeff: This is going for a lot.

Maria: Two hundred.

Paula looks inquisitively at Maria.

Maria: What? I like pineapple.

Jeff: Two hundred to Maria going once...twice...

Jeff pounds his gavel.

Jeff: Sold to Maria for two hundred.

Maria pays Jeff the $200 and takes her pineapple. She eats it slowly and loudly.

Maria: This is better than sex.

Charlie: I wouldn't know about that.

Maria cracks up at Charlie's comment.

Jeff: OK, we have another item here. I'll keep it a mystery. The bidding will open at $40.

Charlie: What the hell. $40.

Paula: Sixty.

Charlie: Eighty.

Paula: One hundred.

Tom: One twenty.

Terry: One sixty.

Tom: I'm out.

Jeff: One sixty to Terry going once...twice...

Jeff pounds his gavel.

Jeff: Sold to Terry for one sixty.

Terry goes up to pay Jeff and get his item.

Jeff: Terry, before I give this to you, I'd like to offer you what's in this box.

Terry: No deal, Jeff.

Jeff: I haven't even shown you what's in the box!

Terry: I don't want it.

Jeff: OK, suit yourself. In the box was...

Jeff opens up the box and reveals a small can of Pringles and a Mountain Dew.

Jeff: ...Pringles and a Mountain Dew. Let's see what you got.

Jeff lifts the lid off the item. Inside is a glass of cow's blood.

Jeff: I hope you like cow's blood, Terry.

Twila: Not as much as I do, Jeff.

Terry: He said I'm not allowed to share.

Terry goes back and sets the blood down next to him.

Jeff: OK, next up we have the snack Terry turned down. Pringles and a Mountain Dew.

Paula: One hundred.

Ozzy: One forty.

Yau-Man: Too much for me.

Paula: One sixty.

Ozzy: Two hundred.

Jeff: Ozzy wants it bad.

Paula: He can have it.

Jeff: Two hundred to Ozzy going once...twice...

Jeff bangs his gavel.

Jeff: Sold to Ozzy for two hundred.

Ozzy goes up to claim the prize; the Mountain Dew is still clearly cold.

Ozzy: Thanks for the snack, Terry.

Terry: Of course.

Jeff: Next up, we have...

Jeff pulls out a plate from under the table.

Jeff: ...a hamburger. Condiments are on the side, and you get a cold Pepsi with it. I'll open the bidding at a hundred.

Charlie: Three hundred.

Cirie: Damn.

Terry: Four hundred.

Jeff: Terry not a small spender.

Terry: Anything to get my mind off that cow's blood.

Charlie: Five hundred.

Terry: Six hundred.

Charlie: Six twenty.

Terry: Six forty.

Charlie: Six eighty.

Terry: Eight hundred.

Charlie: Enjoy it, man.

Jeff: Eight hundred dollars to Terry going once...twice...

Terry: Is it too late for buyer's remorse?

Jeff bangs his gavel.

Jeff: ...sold to Terry despite his buyer's remorse.

Terry goes up and grabs the hamburger and Pepsi.

Terry: This had better be a filet mignon sandwich.

Jeff: I don't set the prices, Terry.

Terry: Can you get me in touch with whoever does?

Jeff: OK Charlie, what do you have to say to him?

Charlie: I bet it's the best burger you've ever had.

Terry: Damn right.

Jeff: OK, next up we have another nice item...

Jeff takes out an ice cream sundae.

Jeff: It's big enough for two, so whoever wins it can split it with one other person.

Charlie: A thousand dollars.

Jeff: Holy cow. Anyone want to beat that?

The camera shows Danni and Maria conferring.

Danni: We'll go with $1,020, Jeff.

Charlie: Hey Deitz, gimme your $40 and we'll split it.

Terry: A thousand forty, Jeff.

Danni: A thousand sixty between me and Maria.

Charlie begins conferring with Yau-Man. Yau-Man begins to raise a hand to make a bid.

Danni: And we'll both strip naked.

Charlie: I withdraw my bid.

Jeff: A thousand and sixty to Danni and Maria going once...twice...

Jeff bangs his gavel.

Jeff: Sold to Danni and Maria for $1,060 and no clothes. Maria, I take it this was your idea.

Maria: Damn straight.

Maria drops her bikini and Jeff's feet as she picks up the sundae.

Maria: Would it be an auction if I kept my clothes on?

(confessional) Danni (still naked): I let the naked girl talk me into this. I didn't exactly mind, though. I don't have any problem kicking back and relaxing.

The two girls sit together and begin eating the sundae, which is massive and covered in whipped cream, hot fudge, and caramel.

Charlie: Someone get these two girls a hot tub and some champagne.

Jeff: I thought you and Danni were an item.

Charlie: She never let me see this much.

Jeff: Fair enough. Next's not quite a hot tub, but...

Jeff uncovers a plate with more fresh fruit.

Jeff: ...chocolate-covered strawberries.

Maria (with her mouth full): Everything I have.

Danni: Me too.

Charlie: I can't match it.

Jeff: All of Danni and Maria's money going once...twice...

Jeff bangs his gavel.

Jeff: ...sold to Danni and Maria for...

Danni and Maria grab their sundae, drop their envelopes on the table, and carry their strawberries back with them.

Jeff: ...a lot.

Danni: Thanks, boys.

(confessional) Terry: And here comes Danni and Maria acting like schoolgirls. I wanted to explode.

Terry: I can't deal with this anymore.

Terry gets up, tosses his money on the table, and sets down his hamburger, which is almost all the way eaten, and his empty Pepsi and walks away.

Jeff: OK, we're down to seven in the auction. Danni and Maria are out of money, and Terry has excused himself.

The camera shows Terry in the background beginning to lay palms on the shelter.

Tom: Hey, it's less competition for me.

Jeff: Indeed. We have another item up for bids.

Charlie: Don't tell me. Massage oil.

Jeff: You wish.

Danni: So do we!

Jeff: We have a plate of nachos complete with...

Jeff takes out a frosty mug of beer with a Budweiser logo on it.

Jeff: ...cold beer. I'll open the bidding at two hundred.

Charlie: Give it here.

Jeff: We have $200.

Tom: Two twenty.

Charlie: Three hundred.

Yau-Man: Three forty.

Charlie: Three sixty.

Tom: Well, it's not Guinness.

Jeff: Three sixty to Charlie going once...twice...

Jeff bangs his gavel.

Jeff: Sold to Charlie for three sixty.

Charlie: You kept me waiting for too long for one of these.

Charlie takes the nachos and beer back and sets them on Terry's seat.

Charlie: This is quite possibly the best day of my life.

Danni: Mine, too!

The camera focuses on Danni and Maria, who playfully feed each other strawberries.

Jeff: Charlie, do you have a problem with this?

Charlie: If I had a problem with it, I would have bought the damn strawberries myself.

Jeff: Good point. Next up...I have these.

Jeff lays out envelopes on the table.

Jeff: These are letters from home. I know you guys miss home. I'll start the bidding at two hundred.

Tom: Two hundred.

Cirie: Three hundred.

Paula: Five hundred.

Tom: A thousand.

Paula: Damn, Tom.

Jeff: All Tom's money going once...twice...

Jeff bangs his gavel.

Jeff: Sold to Tom for $1,000.

Tom goes up to get his letter, lays his envelope on the table, and begins to read the letter. It appears to be from his kids.

The background shows Terry finishing the roof on the shelter.

Jeff: There's a big decision to make here. One other person will receive a letter from home. It can be anyone; it's free.

Jeff: I'll give it to Cirie.

Jeff: Cirie, I have your letter.

Cirie goes up to get her letter; she opens it up, and it also appears to be from her kids.

Jeff: I said earlier that there were no clues to the next idol. Well, I lied. There is one, and it's right here. I'll open the bidding at--

Paula: A thousand dollars.

Jeff: Sold to Paula.

Jeff bangs his gavel.

Jeff: This is a different clue from what Danni and Maria got.

Paula stashes the clue instantly. Danni and Maria clearly don't see her do so.

Paula (to Danni and Maria): You girls enjoying yourselves?

Maria: Care to make it three?

Paula: Sorry, Maria, you're not my type.

Charlie: You see, Jeff, if this were a perfect day, she would follow that with, "But Danni is," and join them.

Paula: Keep dreaming, goofy.

Charlie: Gladly.

Jeff: Twila and Yau-Man, you guys haven't bought anything.

Yau-Man: How can I compete with the girls?

Jeff: Maybe with one of these.

Jeff pulls out an air mattress.

Jeff: The winner of this item will have sole possession of this air mattress. I'll open the bidding at five hundred.

Charlie: Everything I have.

Ozzy: Eight hundred.

Jeff: Eight hundred already.

Twila: Nine hundred.

Yau-Man: Nine forty.

Twila: Nine eighty.

Yau-Man: A thousand.

Jeff: Sold to Yau-Man for $1,000.

Yau-Man takes the bed and starts inflating it.

Jeff: I have something that you savers might enjoy.

Jeff takes out an envelope sealed with wax.

Jeff: This is an advantage to any future immunity challenge. It's no guarantee of safety, but it will give you a significant leg up in any challenge.

Charlie: Five hundred.

Ozzy: Eight hundred.

Twila is shown giving a glazed-over look.

Jeff: Eight hundred to Ozzy going once...twice...

Jeff bangs his gavel.

Jeff: Sold to Ozzy for eight hundred.

Twila: Wait, what was that?

Jeff: An advantage to any future immunity challenge.

Twila: Damn, I could have used that.

Ozzy: You could have outbid me, too.

Twila looks in her envelope.

Twila: Damn, I could have.

Jeff: I have one last item here.

Jeff takes out a crate with fresh fruit, wine, a case of Diet Pepsi, some Reese's Pieces, and some Pringles.

Jeff: Whoever wins this gets to share it with the tribe.

Twila: A thousand dollars.

Jeff: Sold to Twila for a thousand dollars.

Twila carries the crate to the beach; some Survivors gather around.

Jeff: With that, the auction is over.

Jeff bangs the gavel one last time.

Jeff: Welcome home, Survivors. You have just fifteen days left in the game. You will spend it here.

Charlie, Twila, and Yau-Man dig into the crate while Jeff heads out.

The camera focuses on Danni and Maria, who exchange a quick kiss before heading to the beach hand-in-hand.

Danni rejoins and embraces Charlie while still naked; Charlie joyfully kisses her as the screen cuts to commercial.

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07-23-07, 09:53 AM (EST)
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2. "Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 10 - “We Don't Exactly Get HBO Out Here”" Article
Authored by: Michael Ausiello

Well, you're looking at the guy who actually picked the power couple of the season. I didn't seem to pick much else, but I nailed that one. Ozzy's still around, Harriet's gone, Charlie never even tried to find an idol, and the final four is sans Ami and Rafe.

But Charlie and Danni are playing out perfectly. There are only a few things I'm not seeing. First off, Paula must not factor in at all, since she saw Charlie all over Danni and didn't bat an eyelash. Second off, the previews say that something big is going to happen later this season.

As Jeff Probst put it, "the dirtiest trick ever played in Survivor history." Jeff wouldn't give specifics, but when he detailed the dirty trick played in Fiji, he didn't give specifics, either, and it turned out to be about as dirty as the dead grandmother lie. Jeff tells me that whoever did this will make Fairplay and Dreamz look like choirboys.

Either that means we're in for the most shocking turn of events in Survivor history...or CBS is trying to drum up ratings for what will be a lackluster finish. It's my understanding that the way this plays out will determine the future of the show, never mind the resurgent ratings.

Back from commercial.

Angakauitai Island, merged tribe camp, Day 25. Terry is in the background working on the shelter while Yau-Man and Cirie have a large, red flag and paint set out.

Cirie: So what do we call this tribe?

Yau-Man: Well, there's no way to blend the names.

Cirie: I've tried, and everything sounds stupid.

Yau-Man: Wait a minute. Didn't Jeff say our tribes were named after Polynesian gods?

Cirie: And I seem to remember another one. Hear me out. What was the guy who invented cooking? Isn't he an island or something?

(confessional) Yau-Man: It turns out I remembered it was Maui who invented cooking. It's easy to remember, and I think people will like it.

Yau-Man (to the tribe): Come on over!

Most of the tribe, with the exceptions of Terry, Paula, and Twila, join Cirie and Yau-Man. Maria and Danni have since put their bikinis back on.

Charlie: You guys think of a name yet?

Yau-Man: I thought of Maui.

Charlie: You mean like the Hawaiian island?

Yau-Man: Maui invented cooking.

(confessional) Charlie: And here comes Yau-Man talking about some guy named after a Hawaiian island that invented cooking. What did we do before this island guy, anyway, eat everything raw?

Tom: I like the name.

Charlie: I still don't follow.

Cirie: I like it, if for no other reason than that I just want a name.

Yau-Man: And all the combined tribe names sound terrible.

(confessional) Danni: Yau-Man named the tribe Maui after some guy who invented cooking. He paid a lot better attention in his Polynesian history classes than I did; that's for sure.

Maria: If I win again, I'm moving to Maui, or at least going there.

Charlie: Now, did the Maui people ask you to do this, Yau-Man?

Yau-Man: So what if they did?

Ozzy: Hey, at least we have a tribe name. Now we can all do what we came here to do.

Charlie: Listen, Oz, it's the day of the merge. I'm not working today.

Ozzy: What work? I meant sitting around and playing drinking games.

(confessional) Charlie: And then Ozzy started speaking my language again. I might be 44, but I do enjoy a good drink.

The camera shows everyone sitting around the fire pit, fire burning, and two big bottles of wine are present.

Ozzy: OK, has anyone here played "I Never?"

(confessional) Tom: I was young once. Of course I've played "I Never." I just wonder who ends up drinking on everything we call out.

Yau-Man: I've never done it in an office.

Maria: Give it here.

Maria takes a drink of wine.

Tom: I've never done it in a car.

Maria: Oh hell, who hasn't?

(confessional) Twila: And here I thought Maria was gay. And she's talking about all these things she's done. I have to wonder if she's counting girls, too.

Twila: I thought you liked girls, Maria.

Maria: I'm not gay, you know. I dated guys in college.

Ozzy: Would you date me?

Maria: Laura wouldn't like that.

Twila: Hey Charlie, you're up.

Charlie: Wait, so what do I do?

Twila: You have to say something you've never done.

Charlie: OK, let's see here. I've got one.

Charlie pauses for a quick second.

Charlie: I've never broken the honor of a handshake.

The tribe looks blankly at Charlie, who has a deadpan look on his face for about two seconds.

Slowly, Charlie begins chuckling, and then he doubles over laughing.

(confessional) Charlie: My son watched Survivor since the first season, and he never forgot the guy who said that about the honor of a handshake. I just had to say it, but I couldn't do it with a straight face.

Maria: Wait, what?

Charlie (still laughing): I'm just jacking you guys. I got one for real.

(confessional) Charlie: I used to play "I Never" all the time in the Navy. Of course I know how to play. I just wanted to get a rise out of them.

Charlie: OK, OK. I've never done it in uniform.

The tribe looks blankly at him again.

Ozzy: No one's done it, Charlie. You have to drink.

Charlie: Damn.

(confessional) Cirie: Charlie's, like, from another planet or something. Don't get me wrong; he's the life of the party. But still, he amuses himself more than he amuses us some of the time.

Danni: OK, Paula, your turn.

Paula: Hey, I can't do this. I'd be wasted too fast.

The tribe laughs at Paula's response.

Yau-Man: I guess it's your turn, Danni.

The camera switches to a different shot of Angakauitai Island, Maui camp, Day 25. The shelter is fairly well-put-together, and the tribe, including Terry, is gathered around it.

Terry: Well, it looks like we have a place to sleep now.

Charlie: Well, thanks for doing this, but I'd rather you joined us.

Terry: Well, you know, I just couldn't handle it.

(confessional) Terry: At the auction, I guess I had just had enough of seeing Maria turn all the girls into flirts. OK, we get it, Maria; you like girls. Now shut your damn mouth about it.

Charlie begins to tie more knots on the roof.

Charlie: I can make sure these knots don't come undone.

Terry: Hey, I did this all; I know they're good.

Charlie: See, though, watch this.

Charlie undoes one of the knots and tries to tighten it up again. He appears to have difficulty.

Paula: This is why you leave well enough alone.

Charlie: Hey, give me some time.

Paula: You had enough time. Let him fix it.

Charlie: Damnit, I said back off. I know what the hell I'm doing.

Paula (shouting): You don't know what the hell you're doing! Just go do something else!

Charlie (shouting back): I can build this shelter all by myself without your help, princess!

(confessional) Paula: So I just walked away before we got into a bigger fight. If he wants to screw around with the shelter, that's his business.

Paula looks over at Charlie trying to tie the knot with limited success. Charlie eventually ties it, but no one seems to notice.

(confessional) Charlie: I tied the damn knot. It's a lot easier when there's no one browbeating you.

Paula walks back over to talk to Charlie.

Paula: Hey, good fight.

Charlie: Yeah, no kidding. Anyway, what was with you not joining us?

Paula: Well, you know I can't play drinking games, and I can't really be around people when they are.

Charlie: OK, I'll say no more.

(confessional) Paula: I stayed away from the other people during their game for two reasons. One was that it gave me a chance to talk to Terry, and maybe I could swing his vote. The other is that...well, it's hard to discuss, and only Charlie knows...but I guess everyone else will. I'm a recovered alcoholic.

The camera shows Charlie and Paula chatting from a distance near the shelter as the screen cuts to commercial.

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07-23-07, 09:54 AM (EST)
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3. "Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 10 - “We Don't Exactly Get HBO Out Here”"
REPORT: Defendants Identified in Burnett Lawsuit

UPI News Report, 04/18/2008

Someone has finally come forward and admitted to being the subject of a pair of lawsuits filed by "Survivor" producer Mark Burnett.

"Survivor: Japan" winner Maria Savovic and her new girlfriend and show visitor Laura Dean are both defendants in a lawsuit that could earn Burnett's company $10 million. The allegations are that either Savovic, Dean, or both filed a lawsuit against Burnett's company for something that happened on the show.

The events that center around this lawsuit were not disclosed; it is not clear if they have aired. Savovic has not been seen much in her hometown of Princeton, New Jersey, and she has not talked to the media about her experience.

Back from commercial.

Angakauitai Island, Maui camp, Day 26. The tribe is enjoying some of the snacks from the previous day.

Cirie: So wait, Ozzy, that advantage is good for any challenge?

Ozzy: I think so. I'll ask about it later on.

Cirie: Maybe if you open it, it will tell us all about the next several challenges.

(confessional) Ozzy: Yesterday, I bought an advantage at a future immunity challenge. I got a lot of people telling me I don't need it, but I think I do. I'm up against the best, and I need every advantage I can get.

Charlie: Maybe he wins the right to have it rigged for him.

Ozzy (chuckling): Yeah, that'd be nice.

(confessional) Charlie: Ozzy without an immunity advantage is bad enough. Ozzy with it is a terror. We need to get him out as quickly as possible, assuming he doesn't school us in the next challenge.

Paula: Hey Ozzy, what's your favorite food?

Ozzy: Why are you asking me this?

Paula: In case Jeff tempts us at this challenge, I want to know what he needs to use.

(confessional) Yau-Man: Everyone's afraid of Ozzy at the challenges. It's nice for me because no one's paying attention to me, but it's a little misleading. I'm worried as much about Charlie, Tom, and even Danni, especially since they're not on my side.

Ozzy (to Paula): Even if I lose, I'm not really going, am I?

Paula: I doubt it. The other tribe's scrambling.

(confessional) Paula: Ozzy's a little concerned that he's going if he doesn't win immunity. At the very least, I have an idol clue, and maybe I can trade clues with Maria and make sure he doesn't go.

The camera switches to Danni coming from the woods with something in her hands.

Danni: We have tree mail, guys!

(confessional) Yau-Man: There's a lot of anticipation for the first challenge as a new tribe. We're all left wondering what we have to do.

Tom (from Tree Mail): Today you must stay high and dry; the one who does will shine. Do all you can this time, because soon you're down to nine.

Paula: It's endurance.

Charlie: As usual.

The camera switches to Manui Island, Day 26. There are ten towers with barrels in them and ropes hanging from them.

Jeff: Come on in, guys!

The tribe files in, with Yau-Man carrying the immunity idol.

Jeff: First thing's first - Yau-Man, give it up.

Yau-Man hands Jeff the immunity idol.

Jeff: As you can imagine, tribal immunity is no more.

Jeff uncovers the immunity necklace, which is identical to the one from the first All-Stars season.

Jeff: Individual immunity is what you covet. This, along with the idols, are the only ways you can assure your safety. Let's get to today's challenge.

The camera switches back to the barrel towers, of which there are ten.

Jeff: As you can probably guess, every immunity challenge so far this season has been a callback to a past challenge. Today is no different. The first challenge after the merge in Africa is where we got this one. Everyone will take their spots, and on my go, you will hold onto the rope as steadily as possible for as long as possible with the same arm. If you make a false move or let go of the rope, the barrel will tip over and soak you. The last person still dry wins immunity and is guaranteed a one-in-nine shot at a million dollars. For the rest of you, Tribal Council tonight could be the end of the road for you. Also, one more thing. Ozzy, you have the envelope, right?

Ozzy: Sure do.

Jeff: Want to play it?

Ozzy: No, I think I can handle it.

Jeff: Let's see what advantage you turned down.

Ozzy opens the envelope; the note inside says "WAIT 20 MINUTES TO START THE CHALLENGE."

Jeff: At the start of every challenge until Ozzy uses it, I will carry an envelope detailing what the advantage would be. As for now, everyone take your spots.

The camera shows everyone walking to their barrels.

Jeff: The challenge is underway in three, two, one...begin. Remember to keep as steady a hand as possible.

Charlie: I remember this challenge.

Jeff: Charlie, Maria, and Paula have all done this before.

Charlie: And I won. You still have a steak for me after the challenge?

Jeff: No steaks this time.

Yau-Man: Hey Charlie, you might remember this. (singing) I'm Hen-er-eee the eighth I am, He-ne-ree the eighth I am I am...

Charlie: There's not enough beer in the world to make that sound good, Yau-Man.

Twila (singing): Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beeeeeer...

Charlie: They better be actual bottles of actual beer, and I sure as hell ain't passing it around after listening to you kooks all day.

Elapsed Time: 20 minutes. The camera shows a less jubilant, slightly more weary Maui tribe.

Jeff: It's been twenty minutes, guys. When you started this challenge, you were doing some of the worst singing I've ever heard in my life. The mood's gotten more serious since then.

Charlie: OK, so a guy walks into a bar.

Tom: Don't tell me - and he hits his head.

Paula: A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

Charlie: How many Ohio State freshmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Jeff turns in to listen for the answer.

Charlie: None; it's a sophomore course.

(confessional) Twila: And here comes Charlie getting us back by trying to tell jokes and throw us off. It's too bad no one there went to Ohio State, though.

Elapsed time: 47 minutes. The entire Maui tribe is looking more exhausted.

Jeff: It looks like exhaustion is setting in for everyone.

Charlie: Maybe you need to pass around coffee for everyone.

A barrel begins to rock and tips over; the person standing up soaking is Cirie.

Jeff: Cirie the first out of the challenge. Come take a seat and dry off.

Charlie: Well, I guess Cirie owes everyone here a beer.

Cirie: Keep dreaming, Forrest.

Maria: I've been up here for how long?

Jeff: Forty-nine minutes, Maria.

Maria: Then I'm getting comfortable.

Maria reaches up with her other arm to undo her bikini top; however, before she can, the barrel tips and soaks her.

Jeff: Maria, you can get a lot more comfortable on the sideline.

Maria: Curse my natural showmanship.

Jeff: We're down to eight. You guys should probably settle in for a long haul here.

Elapsed Time: 1 hour. The eight remaining Maui are still standing strong.

Jeff: You have all been up here for an entire hour. Charlie, remember when I said there wouldn't be a steak?

Charlie: Yeah, what about it?

Jeff: I lied.

Jeff takes a plate out that has a large Porterhouse steak, baked potato, and what appears to be a bottle of Pepsi.

Jeff: Anyone who drops in the next ten seconds shares this steak. If no one takes it, Cirie and Maria get it.

Danni: The hell with this.

Danni lets go of her rope; at the same time, Twila and Terry drop.

Jeff: That's a pretty bold move by the three of you.

Charlie: Enjoy my steak, guys.

Terry: We will, Forrest.

Twila (in an imitation Alabama accent): Run, Forrest!

Charlie: Congratulations, Tanner. You're the millionth person to say that to me. Now shut up and eat my steak.

Elapsed time: 1 hour 24 minutes. The six remaining Maui are still in the challenge; the steak, potato, and Pepsi, shown to be the size of a 1-liter bottle, are finished.

Jeff: Is fatigue setting in for everyone here?

Tom: Not even a bit, Jeff.

Jeff: Paula, what about you?

Paula: Maybe you should hang a weight on my arm to make this challenge harder.

Charlie: You heard the woman, Jeff.

Paula: And hang an anchor on his.

Charlie: I'm just getting warmed up.

Paula: I'm the only woman left here; all the others wimped out, so I have to stand strong.

Jeff: Yau-Man, you're up against three tough guys and one very determined woman. Do you really think you have a chance?

Yau-Man: Hey Westman, does your nose itch?

Tom: So what if it does?

Yau-Man: What about your foot? The top of your foot has to be killing you right about now.

Tom: Nice try, Yau.

Yau-Man: What about you, Charlie? I bet your foot's about ready to scratch itself.

Charlie: What the hell are you talking about? I'm not the one who has to yak constantly to avoid s------- myself.

Yau-Man: What?

Charlie: You heard me.

A barrel begins to tip over, and it is revealed that Yau-Man got soaked by it.

Jeff: Yau-Man, whatever you just tried, it backfired.

Yau-Man: Any steak left?

Twila: Keep dreaming.

Jeff: OK, we're at one hour and 30 minutes. I have another thing you guys might be interested in.

Jeff uncovers a pizza box that has a conspicuous "Pizza Hut" logo on it as well as a 6-pack of cold Budweiser.

Paula: I didn't know they delivered clear out here.

Jeff: I had to call for this clear back on Day 5. If you want it, come get it within ten seconds.

The camera switches to Tom, who's visibly laughing at Jeff's comment; his barrel tips over, and he is soaked. Soon, Paula drops as well.

Jeff: Tom and Paula, come get your pizza.

Paula whispers something to Jeff, who nods and calls over to someone off-camera. Seconds later, Paula is presented with a 6-pack of A&W Cream Soda.

Jeff: Paula takes the cream soda over the beer. Good choice, Charlie?

Charlie: Well, none of that beer's going my way, so I really don't care.

Jeff: Ozzy, you want some of that beer?

Ozzy: I want immunity more than I want beer.

Elapsed time: 2 hours. Charlie and Ozzy are still going strong.

Jeff: We're now at two hours even. Since there are two of you, I have one last offer to make.

Jeff takes out a plate with chicken parmigiana and garlic bread on it. Accompanying it is another 6-pack, this time of Budweiser Select.

Jeff: If you step down within the next minute, it's yours. If not, the other eight get it.

Charlie: You can't tempt me, Jeff.

Ozzy: I hope they enjoy it.

The camera switches to Jeff, who appears to be looking at his watch.

Jeff: And that's time. Everyone not named Charlie or Ozzy, dig in.

The camera shows the eight eliminated players passing the plate around.

Jeff: From here on out, there are no more temptations. It's just Charlie against Ozzy, winner takes immunity.

Elapsed time: 3 hours. Both Charlie and Ozzy appear fairly fatigued.

Jeff: We're now passing three hours. How's everyone holding up?

Maria: I'm bored, Jeff.

Jeff: Want to go back into the challenge?

Maria: Yeah, sure.

Jeff: You can't win, though. Ozzy, are you starting to regret not playing the advantage?

Ozzy: I'd be just as tired.

Jeff: Charlie, do you believe that?

Charlie: Maybe he would, and maybe he wouldn't. All I know is that I'm giving him all I have.

Elapsed time: 3 hours 57 minutes. Charlie and Ozzy are both looking weary.

Jeff: We're coming up to four hours here. Any chance of a deal to end the challenge?

Ozzy: I've come too far to allow that, Jeff.

Jeff: Charlie, you agree?

Charlie: I've done this before, and I can do it again.

Ozzy's arm jerks suddenly, and his barrel tips over onto him.

Jeff: After all that, Charlie wins immunity!

Charlie lets his rope drop, soaking him; he then goes over to receive the necklace.

Jeff: Charlie, you're safe at tonight's Tribal Council. That was a hard challenge; you earned it.

Charlie: Ozzy played a hell of a game, too.

Jeff: This is yours, Charlie. Head on back.

Images of Charlie receiving the immunity necklace dominate the screen as it cuts to commercial.

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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings
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07-23-07, 09:56 AM (EST)
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4. "Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 10 - “We Don't Exactly Get HBO Out Here”"
Blog Entry, 04/19/2008
Authored by: Derek Forrest, bigblueclassof2009

Hopefully my folks get through another week without another one of those creepy phone calls from that psycho claiming to be my mother. Then again, my mother was a bit of a psycho. She always yelled at us about all the things that needed to be done around the house, but she never lifted a finger. She once let the family go hungry rather than go to the store for reasons that only she understands. And she never gave me a lick of attention.

The police traced the calls to her cell phone despite the private number she used. These guys were good; soon enough, they had a report on her every move. They matched it to my mother, now apparently known as Dena Goodman. She must still be using George's last name.

She mentioned a brother or something. Well, I hope George holds up OK raising that poor kid on his own. He has a long road ahead of him after his psycho wife, who supposedly didn't believe in divorce when she was married to Dad, decided she didn't give a damn anymore. It as if a time bomb goes off in her head after her son turns 10 that she has to get out. All the times of threatening murder, suicide, or both if Dad left her must have rotted her brain.

Dad doesn't need this, and neither do I after the Frozen Four. I had a wide-open net with 10 seconds left. I get the pass from Howard for a one-time to tie the game. He sends me a perfect pass that no Spartan can touch. The goalie was so far out of position it was sad. We were going into overtime tied at 3.

And I shanked it. I missed the net completely, and State won 3-2. Factor in seeing my own father all over the lady I've had an irrational crush on for the past two-and-a-half years, and I pretty much never want to come out of my apartment again.

Back from commercial.

Angakauitai Island, Maui camp, Day 26. The tribe is arriving at their camp in a large, red outrigger that they part on the beach.

Danni (to Charlie): Ozzy needs to go.

Charlie: I hate to do that, though.

Danni: If he lasted that long with you, he's a threat.

Charlie: I said I hated to do it. I didn't say I wouldn't.

(confessional) Danni: Every opportunity we have to get Ozzy out, we have to take. Out of his entire alliance, he's easily the biggest immunity threat.

Charlie (to Terry): So Ozzy goes?

Terry: I guess we don't really have a choice.

Charlie: He's the most threatening person on Ta'aroa.

Terry: Who should we get from their tribe?

Charlie: I don't trust Maria worth a damn, but if we can get Twila over, I'm for it.

(confessional) Terry: If Ta'aroa's solid, Fati's in trouble. But if there's a crack in that alliance, then it could get interesting.

Danni (to Cirie): So we vote off Ozzy?

Cirie: I hope we have five.

Danni: We need six. Someone has to flip.

Cirie: I saw Terry working on Paula.

Danni: That's a definite possibility.

(confessional) Cirie: Terry talked about flipping Twila, and Danni and I discussed flipping Paula. Someone has to jump over.

Cirie (to Paula): So we're thinking Ozzy has to go.

Paula: Because Charlie won immunity?

Cirie: And Ozzy didn't. You saw how many times he won in his season.

Paula: Can anyone else here provide?

Cirie: We have Tom, Terry, and Charlie; we're set for providers. Even I can catch fish with that sling.

(confessional) Paula: They want to vote off Ozzy, and they can't be persuaded otherwise. See, I'd go along with voting off a threat, but Ozzy's my ace in the hole.

Paula (to Ozzy): They're going after you.

Ozzy: I thought so. We need to go after Tom.

Paula: He won five immunities in his season, just like you did.

Ozzy: Him or Terry.

Paula: I think I have Terry.

(confessional) Ozzy: To no one's surprise, I'm the target. I have a strong alliance; Yau-Man, Paula, and Maria are in my court, so if we make sure Twila's in with us, I'm pretty much safe. I'm not afraid of any tiebreak.

Ozzy (to Terry): What do you have going on with Paula?

Terry: She's a hard worker; she's like me.

Ozzy: We're the hardest workers out here, you know. I catch fish, Paula scales them, Yau-Man does whatever Yau-Man does...

Terry: I like you and Paula. I'm a little afraid of the other tribe.

Ozzy: We're going against Tom.

(confessional) Terry: I've been doing a lot of talking with Paula, and she's willing to turn her back on her alliance and join the Fati side. So right now, she's my liaison with her old alliance. Whatever she does, I do, and whatever I do, she does.

The camera switches to Tribal Council, Night 26. The Maui tribe, all carrying their unlit torches, files into Tribal Council. The men all sit in the back row with the women in front. Conspicuously, the Fati membership is on the camera's left, the Ta'aroa is on the right, and Terry and Paula are in the middle. Charlie is next to Terry wearing the immunity necklace.

Jeff: We will now bring in the jury. Jonathan...and Harriet, voted out at the last Tribal Council.

Jonathan is still showing a cleaned-up, business-casual appearance; Harriet is wearing a knee-length skirt and a white tank top and is limping just slightly. The scar on her knee is visible but not glaring.

Jeff: I remind everyone here that the jury is merely here to observe. In 13 days, they will be making a very important decision.

The camera switches to the Maui membership and then to Jeff, who addresses the tribe.

Jeff: I'll start with you, Charlie. I notice that the tribe is divided pretty sharply by old tribal lines. Here you sit with Tom, Cirie, and Danni on one side, while Ozzy, Yau-Man, Maria, and Twila are on the other side. How important is that immunity necklace in a game like this?

Charlie: If I don't have this necklace, it's my ass, plain and simple. Tom we might be able to save. Tom's a good social player, and he could save himself if Ozzy wins immunity. Me? I'm big, scary Charlie.

Jeff: Yau-Man, is that accurate?

Yau-Man: It's no secret that we're targeting Tom and Charlie. Charlie's not big and scary, but he's an excellent player who will probably kill us in challenges.

Jeff: Ozzy, who's scarier as an opponent, Charlie or Tom?

Ozzy: Going in here, I thought Tom would be my biggest threat, but Charlie's definitely over that heart attack, and he's back and better than ever. I have my work cut out for me.

Jeff: Danni, do you think you're a target because the other people look at your relationship with Charlie and say, "We have to break them up"?

Danni: The thought crossed my mind, yes. But we're also at the point in the game where we have to take out one or two people who win challenges. I won a couple of challenges on my season, but I'm not Charlie and I'm definitely not Ozzy.

Jeff: Twila, by the looks of things, it's four against four with two candidates for swing votes. Is it that way, or is it five against five and people are having to sell their souls for swing votes?

Twila: My first thought was that Terry was a swing vote. Then I thought that Maria might swing, and maybe even Paula. Hell, I've been asked to swing because I used to be on Fati. When we merged, I was the only transplant.

Jeff: When you say "transplant," you mean...

Twila: The only person not living with my original tribe. Maria came back to her old tribe, and Terry went to his. I was the only Fati living on Ta'aroa, and at the merge, everyone on Fati was a Fati from the start.

Jeff: Maria, did anyone else notice this?

Maria: We sit around, we talk, and we think for nineteen hours a day, and we try to sleep for the other five. Of course we think of these things. I could probably come up with some really deep stuff in my time out here.

Jeff: So Tom, that's your form of entertainment out here is to come up with all kinds of possibilities for how the game will go?

Tom: Well, to be honest, what else can we do? We don't exactly get HBO out here, Jeff.

Jeff: Terry, a lot of people have called you a swing vote. How did this happen?

Terry: I'm the new guy on my tribe, so naturally, some people think I'm with my old tribe.

Jeff: What about when you walked away from the auction? Why separate yourself like that? Are you a target because of it?

Terry: I just got fed up and wanted to get out of there. I actually think it helped.

Jeff: Why's that?

Terry: I talked to Paula, and she calmed me down. Aside from that, I hate to sit here and act like I'm controlling the vote, because I know I'm not controlling anything. I can go with either side here, and I'm an agent of theirs, or I can throw away my vote, and I'm an idiot. Given the choice between being someone else's agent and being an idiot, I won't be an idiot.

Jeff: Cirie, it's been made pretty clear that it's a split down tribal lines. What do you do in that case?

Cirie: This is no time to change the game up. We have to play the split tribe as best we can, and we have to look for swing votes. That's what we did all afternoon.

Jeff: Paula, what are you basing your vote on?

Paula: No matter what I do at this point, it's gut-wrenching. We're beyond the point where we can cut out people we don't like just because we don't like them. If Charlie hadn't won immunity, I might be faced with the very real choice of voting him off or voting Ozzy off. Both of them are very good guys, and I hate to lose either one.

Jeff: So what determines the vote?

Paula: Your own position in the game, plain and simple. Can you gain by switching sides, or are you better off sticking with your own side? Some people expect me to flip and vote with Fati. Some people expect Terry to flip and vote with Ta'aroa. I guess we'd look pretty silly if we both switched sides.

Jeff: I don't think that's ever happened, where two swing votes switch sides and the vote ends in a tie.

Paula: It would be pretty rough to be considered an All-Star and to fall into a trap like that.

Jeff: Well, you raise a good point about falling into traps. As always, if you have the immunity idol, you need to play it while you vote, write the person's name on the parchment inside, and put it in the side pouch. Charlie, you have immunity; I have to ask if you want to give it up.

Charlie: No way in hell, Jeff.

Jeff: OK, no one can vote for Charlie. Everyone else is fair game. It is time to vote. Cirie, you're up.

Cirie gets up to vote; her vote is not shown, and she sits back down.

The next to vote is Danni, who votes, grasps the side pouch, and walks away.

After Danni, Yau-Man votes; his vote is not shown.

The next to vote is Terry, whose vote is not shown; however, his speech is heard.

Terry (to voting camera): No matter what I do, I'm a bastard.

Terry sits back down, and the next to vote is Tom, who votes Ozzy.

Tom (to voting camera): It looks like it's you or me.

After Tom sits down, the next to vote is Paula, whose vote is not shown.

After Paula, the next to vote is Maria, who votes Tom.

Maria (to voting camera): Congratulations on making it this far and never receiving a vote. Sorry it has to stop now.

Maria sits back down; the next to vote is Ozzy, who votes Tom but writes "Tominator" on the ballot.

Ozzy (to voting camera): You're the best right now. And that means you have to go.

The next to vote is Twila, whose vote is not shown.

The last person to vote is Charlie, who votes Ozzy but writes "Ozzfest" on the ballot.

Charlie (to voting camera): I looked forward to going head-to-head with you, but I guess it can't happen that way.

Charlie sits back down, and the camera switches to Jeff.

Jeff: I'll go tally the votes.

Jeff goes and gets the urn; the camera focuses on Ozzy, who is sitting nervously. Then the camera goes back to Jeff.

Jeff: Once the votes are read, the decision is final; the person voted out will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately unless someone plays an idol on their behalf. I'll read the votes.

Jeff reaches in and takes out the first vote.

Jeff: First vote...Ozzy.

Tom's handwriting.

Jeff: ...Ozzy. Two votes Ozzy.

This is Charlie's ballot, the one reading "Ozzfest."

Ozzy: Ozzfest. I like it.

The camera switches back to Jeff.

Jeff: ...Tom. One vote Tom.

Maria's handwriting.

Jeff: ...Tom. Two votes Tom, two votes Ozzy.

This is Ozzy's ballot, the one reading "Tominator."

Jeff: ...Tom. Three votes Tom.

The camera focuses on Twila.

Jeff: ...Ozzy. Three votes Ozzy, three votes Tom.

The camera focuses on Paula.

Jeff: ...Ozzy. Four votes Ozzy.

It is unclear whose handwriting this is; it appears disguised.

Jeff: ...Tom. Four votes Tom.

The camera switches to Yau-Man.

Jeff: ...Big Tom. That's five votes for Tom. One vote left.

Jeff reaches into the urn.

He takes out the final vote.

He unfolds it.

The camera focuses on Tom with his hands folded together.

Jeff: ...the eleventh person voted out of Survivor: All-Stars II and the third member of the jury...Westman.

This is Terry's ballot, the only one to read with Tom's surname.

Tom: Son of a bitch, they got me!

Jeff: I will now check for idols.

Jeff opens the side pouch.

He lets it drop...

...the camera focuses on the Maui tribe, including an anxious Paula...

...and the side pouch is empty.

Jeff: The vote stands; Tom, you need to bring me your torch.

Tom grabs his torch and walks up to put it into the holder.

Jeff: Tom, the tribe has spoken.

Jeff snuffs Tom's torch.

Terry: Now I can say I beat Tom Westman.

Tom: Now I can say I'm having a steak for dinner.

Terry: You win, Westman.

Tom walks off into the night holding his head up.

Jeff: Well, now all of you can say you beat Tom Westman. But remember this much. There are two people left in the game who have never been beaten.

Maria: Jeff, don't do this to me.

Jeff: And there are seven others who are just as hungry to win. This is your competition. Prepare for what might be the most intense thirteen days of your life. Grab your torches; head on back to camp. Goodnight.

The nine remaining Maui members file out of Tribal Council single file as the credits begin to roll.

The screen cuts to commercial.


Amy: Wait a minute. Did Charlie and Paula actually compliment each other on a fight? Is there something there going on that we don't know about? If I were going to claim a conspiracy here, I would say there's a secret alliance between the two. Granted, there's absolutely no evidence of it, but that doesn't exactly stop people.

And frankly, if Charlie wants to get very far in this game, he had better have some kind of secret ace-in-the-hole, because he's pretty much up a creek without it. Tom's gone, and he's next if he doesn't win immunity. Danni's next if he does. And without Danni's idol, America's sweethearts can pretty much kiss their chances at winning this game goodbye.

That's not to say they won't still be America's sweethearts. Why, Jerry Bruckheimer's probably calling them at home and begging them to go on the Amazing Race together. But they won't get nearly the accolade of Rob and know, since eighth and ninth place don't bring nearly as much respect as first and second.

Bruce: I just don't get it. Terry was in the minority in Exile Island because he was terrible with persuasion. Sure, he could promise me fifth place for switching. Whoop-dee-doo, Terry. How is it that he's setting himself up to go far now? He's a swing vote. The weirdo who can't play the game worth a damn is the swing vote.

It's as if we're looking at a whole new generation of tribal warfare. We saw it on my season. Every La Mina was ousted at the first opportunity. First the young bucks and then Terry's sidekick, and if Terry ever stopped winning immunity, he was gone. And he was. I can still hear his pleas for me to switch over.

Of course, I can still hear Courtney's irritating voice as I was taken from the game.

Catharine: I never got the chance to be tribemates with Charlie. Not even for a day. I barely said two words to the guy out there. From what I see on this show, I missed a lot. Here's a guy who's actually standing up to Ozzy the Unbeatable.

I thought it couldn't be done, or at least wouldn't be. Ozzy won every challenge that wasn't based on dumb luck in his season. And here comes this middle-aged ex-Navy guy who had a heart attack in his season. No one in their right mind bets on Charlie here. I sure didn't.

But we have a new king of challenges. At least as far as endurance challenges go.

Katie: Well, there goes the last Palau player. I thought for sure he would pull something out of his hat and stay in the game, be it an idol or a really good ploy to get people to vote with him. But Tom was humbled. The only person who could repeat as winner was humbled.

And we know Maria can't win, and Danni's pretty much playing for second. So I guess the game is on. Seven people who could potentially win the game. Well, six if you figure no one's voting for Terry at the end. Talk about a final-two goat or a final-three shutout victim. The way he's playing, I could have beaten him, and you saw what kind of reputation I had in Palau. I'm sorry I turned the show down at this point. I might have had a shot.

That is, if I didn't get put on a tribe with Ian. I know he had a score to settle.

Back from commercial.

Jeff: Next time on Survivor...Cirie begins to scramble.

(confessional) Cirie: The four of us were in control of the game, and now we're about to be picked off.

Jeff: Danni tries to make a deal.

Danni (to Paula): Final three.

Paula: Is that it?

Danni: From there, may the best Survivor win.

Jeff (voice-over): And the immunity challenge turns ugly.

Jeff: Stop the challenge! We need Medical!

Voice-over: Stay tuned for an all-new CSI coming up next.

Tom (final words): I guess this proves that I'm not the best player in Survivor history, at least not when I'm at a disadvantage. Terry outwitted me, and Charlie outplayed me, so I guess nine other people outlasted me. I guess I never should have expected a realistic chance at winning again, but I play to win, and it's hard to accept anything less. Now I'll see the game from the other side.

6 votes Tom: Maria, Ozzy, Paula, Terry, Twila, Yau-Man
4 votes Ozzy: Charlie, Cirie, Danni, Tom

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