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"Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 7 - "I'm Sorry, but I Just Couldn't Catch Any Beer""
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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

07-02-07, 01:29 PM (EST)
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"Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 7 - "I'm Sorry, but I Just Couldn't Catch Any Beer""

REPORT: 'Survivor' recap in second place

UPI News Service, 03/21/2008

Past seasons of "Survivor" experienced flagging ratings even for openers and finales. Not so for the current season, which garnered a 15.8/24 rating even for a Wedensday night recap episode that revealed the backstory behind several rivalries and surprise boots.

FOX's "American Idol" still won the time slot easily with a 22.9/34 rating for its Top 11 show; however, the increase in ratings that was expected from the lack of a new "Survivor" never played out in the final time the two shows will go head-to-head this season.

Some attribute this to the ouster of oddball Malachi Sands; others attribute it to a lack of competition for clear favorite Cindy Majors, who claims that she will replace Carrie Underwood as the new face of "American Idol" in the music industry.

The Show Begins - air date 03/27/2008

The camera shows an overview of the Gambier Islands; the camera shot appears to move quickly.

Jeff (voice-over): Previously on Survivor...Maria told the others in her old alliance about the idol.

The camera shows Maria flashing the idol to Rafe and Jonathan.

Jeff (voice-over): But she decided instead to improve her own lot in the game with it by trying to flip Charlie and Danni.

Danni: Can you offer me a better deal than what I have going?

Maria: I know you're close to Charlie, so here's the plan. You, me, Charlie, Jonathan, and Rafe.

Danni: You're counting on two of us to flip over?

Jeff (voice-over): Ta'aroa was the first to notice that their reward was missing.

Paula: I worked hard to put that tarp up there, and now it's gone? Who took the damn thing?

Ian: Don't tell me we don't have anything.

Ozzy: I can only hope the other tribe's in the same situation we are.

Jeff (voice-over): At the reward challenge, they found out why.

Jeff: Well, a few of you probably noticed that all your reward items are missing from camp. Well...

Jeff uncovers a basket; all the rewards are there.

Jeff: ...they're here, and the winning tribe gets everything.

Jeff (voice-over): Playing a strategy game, Harriet found herself making the same mistakes she did on her original season.

Jeff: Harriet, you're out of bullets. You can't use a gun; you're out.

Harriet: Son of a bitch. I did this last time, too.

Jeff (voice-over): Cirie became the most lethal woman in the game.

The camera shows the gun-against-bullet combinations that Cirie used against Ozzy and Twila.

Jeff (voice-over): But it was Tom's takedown of Yau-Man that sealed the win for Fati.

Jeff: That sinks Yau-Man; Fati wins reward!

Jeff (voice-over): Back at camp, Rafe tried to flip Danni.

Rafe: Really, we think you're on the outs with your alliance. Tom's a provider and so is Charlie. We want you to come over with us.

Danni: Uh-huh. That makes sense. You guys already have a winner, so I wouldn't be left out. I suppose I owe you one.

Jeff (voice-over): But Danni was just playing along.

(confessional) Danni: I don't owe Rafe jack-s---. I was sitting there like I bought his story, but I have an alliance. I don't need Rafe's alliance. He has nothing I want.

Jeff (voice-over): Charlie taught Maria how to use a sling.

Charlie: You ever use a sling?

Maria: I never learned. Teach me.

Jeff (voice-over): And after a long day of fishing, Maria took it all off.

The camera shows Maria going into the water naked; she is partially blurred out.

Jeff (voice-over): When she got back to shore, her clothes were gone.

Maria: The tide took all my clothes. I'm naked, and I'm stuck like this.

Jeff (voice-over): When Charlie and Danni saw that she was upset about it, they told her that they stole her clothes as a joke.

Maria: Oh, come on; that wasn't very nice.

Charlie: Come on; you had it coming.

(confessional) Maria: Yes, I had it coming. No, I didn't have to like it.

Jeff (voice-over): At Ta'aroa, Paula was unhappy about not having any reward items.

Paula: This would be so much easier with all that stuff the other tribe won.

Ozzy: Don't worry about that. We're fine with what we have.

Jeff (voice-over): At the immunity challenge, the Survivors got to go head-to-head.

The camera shows various Survivors in the Sumo at Sea challenge.

Jeff (voice-over): Yau-Man tried something unorthodox to beat Jonathan.

The camera shows Yau-Man on his back apparently unresponsive.

Jeff: We need medical!

As Jonathan pauses, Yau-Man smacks him with the blocker and pushes him over the edge.

Jeff (voice-over): Despite Yau-Man's trickery, an underdog Rafe won his second match with a more powerful Terry.

Rafe uses his blocker to pop Terry in the stomach, forcing him back. Rafe then uses the blocker to hit Terry in the face, and Terry soon falls in.

Jeff: Terry's down! Fati wins immunity!

Jeff (voice-over): At the neutral camp, the tied turned quickly against Paula.

Terry: We all know who the weakest member of the tribe is.

Ozzy: Really?

Terry: It's Paula. If we want to win a challenge, we need her gone.

Jeff (voice-over): Despite Paula's best efforts to get the tribe to vote off Terry...

Paula: So the plan is to vote Terry?

Yau-Man: Yes, we vote Terry.

Paula: I just hope the next few immunities aren't pure strength.

Jeff (voice-over): ...the vote was nearly unanimous against Paula.

Jeff: ...the seventh person voted out of Survivor: All-Stars II...Paula.

Jeff (voice-over): But Paula suspected the blindside vote, and she played the idol.

The camera shows Jeff unrolling the parchment inside the idol; the parchment has Paula's name on it.

Jeff (voice-over): Since Paula voted for Terry and Yau-Man voted for Ian, a tiebreak was necessary.

Terry: You will compete in a head-to-head rendition of today's reward challenge. The same rules apply. In addition, it will be head-to-head involving every member of the tribe who does not have immunity already.

Jeff (voice-over): The challenge came down to just Twila and Ian remaining.

The camera shows Ian and Twila at a table playing the game that was used at the reward challenge.

Jeff (voice-over): Despite being down a bullet, Twila used a killer instinct to stay alive and take Ian out.

Jeff: Ian, that's the match. You're the only one left. You need to bring me your torch.

Ian, without a word, takes his torch and gives it to Jeff.

Jeff: Ian, the tribe has spoken.

Jeff snuffs Ian's torch.

Jeff (voice-over): Thirteen are left. Who will be voted out tonight?

The camera shows a quick overview of the Gambiers as the Survivor theme begins to play. The first sequence appears to be out of the Japan opening spliced with the Vanuatu opening; a cannon appears in the background, and the music appears to be an amalgamation of the past seven themes with some imagery from each. Player intros are given in alphabetical order by tribe, with Fati going first and Ta'aroa going second. All screen shots of players in this intro are from the first episode, and all are wearing their tribes' buffs. As the intro comes to a close, images of the last seven settings centered around a pirate ship appear to fade as the Survivor: All-Stars II logo is superimposed over the center of the screen. The logo appears similar to the first All-Stars logo except it reads "All-Stars II" and the dominant background color is a bold red instead of blue. The green from the old All-Stars logo is replaced with a dark blue, and the text is silver.

At this point, the screen cuts to commercial.

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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

07-02-07, 01:30 PM (EST)
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1. "Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 7 - "I'm Sorry, but I Just Couldn't Catch Any Beer""

A drum beat with cymbals begins playing quickly in the background followed by some music.

Voice-over: Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius.

Singing voice: Real men of geeeee-niuuuus.

Voice-over: Today we salute you, Mr. Cheesy Reality Show Producer.

Singing voice: Mr. Cheesyrealityshowproduuucer!

Voice-over: Love, travel, sending your wife to live with strangers, no concept is too inane for a reality show.

Singing voice: Aaanything for money!

Voice-over: In response to the age-old question, 'Will someone go on TV and catfight with twelve other women with stupid nicknames for the affections of a washed-up rapper?' You answer with a resounding series on VH1.

Singing voice: Flaaaavor of ratings!

Voice-over: Because we all know that the best way to capitalize on the success of a show is to do the exact same show - but with pirates.

Singing voice: Shiver me timbers!

Voice-over: So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, O King of the Unscripted Airwaves, because America's just dying to know if William Hung wears boxers or briefs.

Singing voice: Mr. Cheesyrealityshowproduuucer!

Voice-over: Anheuser-Busch, St. Louis, Missouri.

Back from commercial.

Makaroa Island, Ta'aroa camp, Night 15. The tribe is arriving back at camp from Tribal Council.

(confessional) Paula: Tonight, I was voted off. But I'm still here. Yau-Man's been my eyes and ears so far; they think he's with them, but he's really with me.

Yau-Man (to Paula): So now that there are six of us, what do we do?

Paula: We win another challenge; that's what we do.

Yau-Man: Can we flip someone else?

Paula: Fine with me; you, me, and Harriet sounds like a plan.

(confessional) Yau-Man: We need at least a third; if we figure out who's on the outside of their alliance, we can try to get them over.

Yau-Man (to Harriet): You, me, and Paula to the end.

Harriet: Won't I lose to you?

Yau-Man: I doubt that. We both beat Paula, and the vote is probably split between you as the game player and me as the nice guy.

(confessional) Harriet: Yau-Man's idea has merit. But with Ozzy, Terry, and Twila all going together that last time, it may not be possible.

The camera switches to Kamaka Island, Fati camp, Day 16. Tom and Maria wash up on shore with several fish.

Tom: Hey guys, anyone want to help with breakfast?

Maria: If we want our energy, we eat breakfast.

Charlie: What did you do, watch a bunch of educational videos under the water?

Maria: And Charlie, I'm sorry, but I just couldn't catch any beer.

(confessional) Danni: We're the happiest tribe I've ever seen. Neither tribe I was on in Guatemala was anywhere near this happy. Sure, it helps that we're well-fed and the weather's decent, but there's just something about life out here. Maybe it's that we're winning.

The camera switches to Angakauitai Island, Day 16. The neutral camp has been turned into an apparent shooting range.

Jeff: Come on in, Fati!

Fati files in one by one; Danni leads the group, with Rafe in the back.

Jeff: Come on in, Ta'aroa!

Ta'aroa files in the same way; Ozzy is out front, with Yau-Man in the back.

Jeff: Fati getting their first look at the new Ta'aroa tribe. Ian bounced out at the last Tribal Council.

Danni: Wait a minute, bounced?

Jeff: All I can say is that there was an idol played. Ian didn't receive a majority--

Paula: Damnit, I'll say it. I played the idol. What do you people want from me?

Jeff: You said it, Paula; I didn't.

Paula: You're all still stuck with me, even you, Charlie.

Charlie: OK Jeff, call another tribe switch so I can send her over here and give her a noogie.

Jeff: No noogies at this challenge. But I have something better - cannonballs. Today's challenge will test how well you can use these cannons. Behind you are sixteen targets, eight in each color. Your job is to shoot the opposing tribe's targets. You will take turns and draw for order. The first tribe to take out all eight opposing targets wins reward. Wanna know what you're playing for?

The tribes anxiously acknowledge that they do.

Jeff: Well, it's been sixteen days out here, and we figure you guys could use a little comfort. So we have for you--

Jeff uncovers a crate full of items.

Jeff: ...pillows, blankets, a hammock, and an air mattress complete with a foot pump. The mattress is padded, so it shouldn't pop on a rock. Worth playing for?

Some Survivors have obvious looks of shock.

Jeff: Fati, since you have one extra member, you're sitting someone out; keep in mind that the same person cannot sit out the immunity challenge.

Maria: I'll sit out.

Jeff: Maria sitting out for Fati. Everyone else, draw for spots and wait for my go.

Two Survivors line up at the cannon.

Jeff: Fati will go first; Cirie is leading off for them.

Cirie shoots a cannonball, which appears to be about the size of a softball, at a target; it lands nowhere near any targets.

Jeff: Cirie completely misses. Terry's up now.

Terry hits the corner of a silver target.

Jeff: Terry scores for Ta'aroa! Next for Fati is Danni.

Danni is knocked back by the cannon, which also misses wildly.

Jeff: Fati not all together. Yau-Man, you're up.

Yau-Man aims a strike at a silver target on the left edge.

Jeff: Yau-Man scores! Ta'aroa up two-zip!

A couple of shots are shown from Rafe, Twila, Charlie, Harriet, Jonathan, and Paula. Only one appears to connect.

Jeff: Tom needs to reverse a trend; Fati down three-nothing.

Tom shoots a perfect strike...but it takes out a silver target that had already been hit.

Jeff: Tom can't get a hit either. Ozzy, you're up.

Ozzy launches a cannon that hits the top edge of a silver target.

Jeff: Ozzy scores! Ta'aroa way out in front four-none! Cirie, you're back up.

Cirie takes a shot that goes down the middle; however, it hits a silver target.

Jeff: Cirie scores for Ta'aroa!

Cirie: Damnit, nothing's going right.

Jeff: Nothing going right indeed. Ta'aroa just three shots away from a win. Fati yet to score. Terry's up.

Terry rips a shot that goes wide of the intended target.

Jeff: Terry just misses! Fati's still in it. Danni, you're up.

Danni hits the dead center. Unfortunately, it's also of an already-hit silver target.

Jeff: Danni, you do know you're not supposed to hit the silver ones, right?

Danni: I never learned how to shoot one of these damn things.

Jeff: Yau-Man, go for it.

Yau-Man hits a target on the far right.

Jeff: Yau-Man scores! Ta'aroa running away with it! Rafe's up next.

Rafe shoots high and misses completely.

Jeff: Rafe not having any luck. Fati still off the board while Ta'aroa's on fire. Twila, you ever use one of these before?

Twila: Yeah, ten minutes ago.

Jeff: I walked right into that one.

Twila: Just don't walk into this.


Twila blasts one to the direct center of an unbroken silver target.

Jeff: Twila scores! Ta'aroa one away from victory and a shutout! Charlie, you're possibly the tribe's last hope.

Charlie launches a shot that actually connects with a blue target.

Jeff: Charlie gets Fati on the board for the first time!

Charlie: If I didn't do that, the Navy might change my discharge to dishonorable.

Jeff: Even after that, Harriet can put it away.

Harriet aims for the silver target. It breaks a target. A blue target.

Jeff: Harriet scores for Fati! It's seven-two now!

Charlie: Thanks.

Harriet: Anytime.

Jeff: Jonathan, it's your turn.

Jonathan aims for a central blue target, but he misses just wide.

Jeff: Jonathan can't get on the board. Paula, it's to you. That last target could mean a reward for Ta'aroa.

Paula shoots. The cannonball soars at the last silver target. It appears to have a bit of curve on it.

It nicks the edge.

Jeff: Paula scores! Ta'aroa wins reward!

The tribe mobs Paula in celebration as Maria slowly and sadly rises from the sideline.

Jeff: Ta'aroa, this is all yours to take back to camp. Fati, unfortunately, I've got nothing for you guys. Head on back.

Images of the winning shot and ensuing celebration dominate the screen as it cuts to commercial.

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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings
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07-02-07, 01:30 PM (EST)
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2. "Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 7 - "I'm Sorry, but I Just Couldn't Catch Any Beer""
REPORT: 'Survivor' contestant arraigned

UPI News Service, 03/22/2008

"Survivor: All-Stars II" contestant Chris Daugherty was arraigned on charges of failure to appear in court, failure to pay a fine, contempt of court, and assault with a weapon. The weapon in question, according to the one who made the complaint, was a beer bottle.

Daugherty pleaded not guilty to all four charges, the last of which carried a maximum sentence of five years in prison. Daugherty has maintained his innocence and insists that he never attacked anyone; he also maintains that he paid the fine in question.

James Reilly, the prosecuting attorney, said in his speech to the Grand Jury, "Mr. Daugherty is a menace to society, and an example needs to be made of this lying, hypocritical leech. I intend to prove that he is not only guilty of this crime but that the only possible way to punish him is with the maximum sentence allowable by law."

Reilly is known as something a maverick among district attorneys, once calling Mike Nifong, the North Carolina district attorney who prosecuted the Duke lacrosse players charged with rape in 2006, a "hero" and a "great man."

Back from commercial.

Makaroa Island, Ta'aroa camp, Day 16. The tribe hauls in the reward items, which appear to consist of two large blankets, three pillows, one hammock, and a queen-size air mattress. The air mattress has a hard side on the bottom.

Paula: Looks like we're sleeping good tonight.

Yau-Man: Now we need to go back in time, give this to my old tribe in Fiji, and have them give it to us.

(confessional) Yau-Man: In my season, I was on a tribe that had nothing. I'm used to not having anything. But it's nice to have something.

Terry: Paula, even though you bounced out my good friend Ian with that damn immunity idol, I think you should get the first choice of sleeping arrangements, since you did win the challenge.

Paula: And my choice is to let you guys have what you want.

(confessional) Paula: I could sleep on the ground for the rest of the game; that's how little I care about sleeping arrangements. But if they want me on the air mattress...well, let's just say I won't exactly beg for that all-important ground spot.

The camera shows Paula and Harriet talking to Ozzy.

Paula: So the ways I see it, you did just fine in a group of four last time, and there's no way any of the three of us are beating you.

Ozzy: I don't know...if we get to a final three, we'll all have trouble beating Yau-Man.

(confessional) Ozzy: I've been approached about an alliance, and I'm thinking about it. It might be such a thing that we go all the way to the end and I have to face Yau-Man in the end. That's a close vote if I ever saw one.

Kamaka Island, Fati camp, Night 16. Most of the tribe has gone to sleep in the shelter; Charlie and Danni are still awake.

Danni: So how's life since I talked you into loosening up, big guy?

Charlie: I just want you to know you're not just a rebound for me; I really think there's something between us.

(confessional) Charlie: I think we're both on a bit of a rebound. Danni just broke up with a guy, and I just went out with Paula a few times. But I don't see this as just a rebound. I think there's really something.

The screen shows Charlie and Danni; they are very close sitting around the fire.

Danni: Even out in Guatemala, all I wanted was one person I could trust completely.

Charlie: You sure we should be so open about this?

Danni kisses Charlie on the neck and wraps her arm around him.

Danni: Relax, big guy; we have people begging to be in an alliance with us. We're on top of the world.

(confessional) Charlie: I could be voted out at the next Council, and I would still be on top of the world.

Charlie: Now how the hell are we going to explain this to my son?

Danni: Simple, Charlie. Just tell him Dad has a new lady in his life. He's in college; he'll understand.

Charlie: You're overlooking one thing. My son loves Paula. He has his heart set on me marrying Paula.

Danni: Well, I'm sorry to disappoint him.

Charlie: Yeah, me too.

Kamaka Island, Fati camp, Day 17. The tribe is still waking up; they are seeing that Charlie and Danni slept together.

Tom: Well, good morning, lovebirds.

Danni: Hey, just trying to stay warm here.

Tom: Was the kiss on the neck just trying to stay warm, too?

(confessional) Tom: Charlie and Danni are making no secret that there's sparks between them. On one hand, it's hard not to be happy for them. On the other hand, I'm not about to let them run the show.

Tom (to Charlie): Look, I know you and Danni are all over each other. Don't try to sit here and deny it. I just want to make sure you're good with me and Cirie.

Charlie: At this point, my best interests are to go with you, Cirie, and Maria. We need five.

Tom: You know, you have a pretty good chance with Danni and Maria.

Charlie: I'm with you guys to the end, plain and simple.

The camera focuses on Maria coming back from the sea with some fish.

Maria: Come get breakfast, people!

Charlie: Lemme guess, a good breakfast is the start of a great day, and the start of a day listening to that happy horses--- is a tall Budweiser.

Maria: Will someone get that man a beer so I don't have to listen to him whine about it anymore?

Charlie: Said by the lady whose other outfit is a birthday suit.

Maria: Don't go looking for any of that now, hot shot.

(confessional) Maria: Ever since Charlie and Danni stole my clothes, I've been very uneasy about leaving them unattended. Usually I wear them, but when I go to catch fish or something, I hide my tank top and shorts and just go in my bikini. I trust Charlie with my life in the game. I don't trust him with my clothes.

Images of Charlie, Danni, and Maria preparing the fish Maria caught dominate the screen as it cuts to commercial.

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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings
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07-02-07, 01:31 PM (EST)
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3. "Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 7 - "I'm Sorry, but I Just Couldn't Catch Any Beer""
REPORT: 'Survivor' royal couple separated?

UPI News Service, 03/30/2008

Rob and Amber Mariano, the couple who fell in love on the first "Survivor: All-Stars," have reportedly fallen out of love during the second attempt at a cast with previous players.

Rob Mariano has attempted to land spots on various television shows, settling into a role on the DirecTV soap opera "Passions," bought from NBC in 2007. The role has not brought the level of exposure sought by either Rob or Amber; sources near them say that the stress has driven a wedge between them.

"They talked about having a child together as soon as possible, but they've lived on fame for the past four years," a source close to the Mariano couple reports. "Some say their 15 minutes are up; I've seen Rob cringe at reports that say Charlie and Danni are a hotter couple than he and Amber ever were."

Amber Brkich-Mariano, who has recently hyphenated her name, has been signed on to do voice-over work for the upcoming Disney summer movie "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspain," in which she will be credited under her hyphenated name. Rob Mariano was asked to work on that or another Disney summer movie but refused.

Back from commercial.

Makaroa Island, Ta'aroa camp, Day 17. Twila is talking to Ozzy.

Twila: So hear me out. If we want to make the merge, we need to get rid of Harriet at the first opportunity.

Ozzy: We're down one, so what are you saying?

Twila: Harriet' the weakest player. Do you want to go into the merge down in numbers?

Ozzy: Do you know when the merge is?

Twila: I would assume it's at ten, but we've been fooled before.

(confessional) Ozzy: I just made an alliance of four with Harriet, Yau-Man, and Paula, and Harriet's a sure thing if I reach the final two, so I'm a little uneasy about cutting her loose.

The camera switches to Ozzy talking to Paula.

Ozzy: So what do you say about changing things up and ditching Harriet?

Paula: Wha-Harriet? Why?

Ozzy: We need to make sure we're strong when the merge comes. I want to take the other tribe down one by one.

Paula: Don't you think we're better off flipping someone? They're probably voting off Rafe and Jonathan, and we can get Maria on our side with no problem.

(confessional) Ozzy: She did raise a good point, but I want to have a backup plan in case we lose the challenge.

The camera switches to Kamaka Island, Fati camp, Day 18. Rafe is returning from the woods with tree mail.

Rafe: Treemail, everyone!

The tribe gathers to read it.

Rafe: Six in a tight formation, to win, you must be a star. Navigate the course quickly, or you may not make it far.

The camera switches to Manui Island, Day 18.

Jeff: Come on in, guys!

Both tribes file in. Cirie leads the Fati tribe with Charlie in the rear; Ozzy leads Ta'aroa with Terry the last to enter.

Jeff: First thing's first - Rafe, hand it over.

Rafe returns the immunity idol.

Jeff: Once again, immunity is back up for grabs. Let's get to today's challenge. This one's out of Survivor: Fiji, and it's one of the more unique challenges we've had. On my go, everyone will fasten themselves into a six-pointed star that can be adjusted for length at each point. You will navigate through a bamboo course that crosses over four times. The first tribe to traverse their course and get to the finish line wins immunity and is guaranteed a one-in-twelve shot at a million bucks. Fati, since you have one extra member, you're sitting someone out; Maria sat out the reward challenge.

Cirie: I'll sit out.

Jeff: Cirie sitting out for Fati. Everyone else, take your spots; wait for my go.

Every other member of each tribe takes a place; Tom is in the forward-facing position for Fati while Ozzy is for Ta'aroa.

Jeff: This is for immunity. Survivors ready? GO!

Both tribes take off into the course; Charlie and Terry are walking backwards and are careful not to stumble.

Jeff: Don't go too fast into the maze; you'll get stuck!

The early part of the course is easy to navigate; Twila briefly gets stuck, giving Fati a bit of a lead, but Ta'aroa catches up to Fati by the first crossroads. The two tribes begin jostling for position.

Jeff: We have our first collision! It might come down to these points or it might come down just to the last one!

Charlie pushes against the limb attached to Harriet; the force causes the Ta'aroas all to tumble. By the time they can get back up, Fati is on to the next part of the course, which is a bit narrower.

Jeff: Charlie makes Ta'aroa spin out! Fati in the lead!

The Fati tribe begins to navigate a full turn before Ta'aroa can get there; Rafe carefully moves back into the grid to allow for Maria to avoid getting stuck. Jonathan pushes against a standing bamboo pole to prevent Danni from pushing him into the grid.

Jeff: Fati way out in front! Ta'aroa struggling to catch up!

Ozzy begins pointing to his tribemates; Twila stands still and guides Yau-Man around a bend as she stays in the same spot.

Jeff: Ta'aroa thinks they have a system!

The camera flashes to the next intersection, where Fati is just leaving before Ta'aroa arrives. Terry and Danni are near each other, but when Terry reaches out to try to pull Danni down, she shoves him back.

Jeff: Danni just shot Terry down!

Terry: I wasn't asking her out, Jeff!

Charlie: Tell it to the judge, Deitz.

Terry: Who the hell's that?

Charlie: Me, damnit!

The path ahead of Fati is narrower than it was before; both tribes hit a slowdown point. Tom appears stuck in the bamboo.

Tom: Charlie, move back!

Charlie: I can't, damnit; I'll walk into a pole!

Tom: Well, what the hell can we do?

Jeff: Fati getting stuck! Ta'aroa, this might be your chance!

The camera shows Ta'aroa having the same problem; Ozzy is trying to back up, but Terry is pinned.

Jeff: The course is symmetrical in every way, so your courses are mirror images of each other!

Fati is shown moving, albeit slowly; Danni slides into the grid so Jonathan can adjust, and Maria soon moves back so Rafe can get unstuck.

Jeff: Remember, you have to work together!

Fati reaches the third intersection ahead of Ta'aroa; Rafe bumps into Twila, and Twila pushes Rafe backwards, causing the Fati tribe to spin out.

Jeff: Twila might take the lead for Ta'aroa!

Ta'aroa steps over Fati, which tries to spin them out the same way; they manage to get through and take the lead while Fati struggles to get up.

Jeff: Ta'aroa in the lead! One more intersection left!

For Ta'aroa, Harriet walks inward, pushing Paula back; Paula spins, enabling Terry to miss the grid entirely and Ta'aroa to proceed around the corner.

Jeff: Ta'aroa very machine-like! Fati trying to catch up!

The path is barely wide enough at most points for the stars to go through; at one point, Ozzy and Terry get themselves stuck at the same time.

Jeff: Ozzy and Terry stuck! How did you guys manage that?

Terry: Ask whoever built this damn contraption!

Terry jerks backward, but Ozzy trips and falls; Harriet falls over as well.

Jeff: Ta'aroa having a lot of trouble! Fati catching up if they can!

Both tribes arrive at the final intersection at the same time. Ta'aroa leads with Terry, Paula, and Yau-Man; Fati leads with Rafe, Danni, and Tom. Danni is out front dueling with Paula.

Jeff: We have a catfight for control of the intersection!

Paula and Danni are dueling hand-to-hand while their tribes try to push them into each other for better control.

Paula ducks down and appears to tackle Danni; she falls back and drops to the ground. Paula then tries to spin Fati out.

Jeff: Paula wins that fight! Ta'aroa has the inside track to the finish line!

Paula and her tribe step over Fati, which is stuck waiting for Ta'aroa to pass into the very narrow home stretch.

Jeff: This will be won or lost by how well you manage the last part of the course!

Ta'aroa has a clear lead but gets stuck in the narrow grid; Twila pushes Yau-Man back to try to get out, but Yau-Man gets stuck.

Jeff: Work together, people!

Fati catches up, but at the same time, Rafe gets stuck; Maria pushes him in deeper to try to spin him, but he cannot spin.

Jeff: Remember, it's really narrow!

Charlie: Gee, ya think?

Ozzy starts pointing to everyone and issuing commands; soon, the star spins, and the tribe escapes the maze while Fati is still stuck. With Ozzy walking backward, Ta'aroa crosses the finish line.

Jeff: Ta'aroa wins immunity!

Rafe smacks the bamboo pole next to him with an open hand; the rest of the tribe drops its heads and growls.

The next shot is of all twelve players freed from the stars.

Jeff: Ta'aroa, no one here’s going home. Fati, I can't say the same for you. Head on out; I'll see you tonight.

Images of Ozzy directing Ta'aroa through the maze and crossing the finish line dominate the screen as it cuts to commercial.

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4. "Survivor: All-Stars II Episode 7 - "I'm Sorry, but I Just Couldn't Catch Any Beer""
Blog Entry, 03/31/2008
Authored by: Derek Forrest, bigblueclassof2009

I'm writing this at a time when I am just not sure if I want to laugh, cry, kick a wall, or burn my entire dorm down out of pure frustration. On one hand, life should be great. My team's in the Frozen Four, and I think we're going all the way if we can get through Notre Dame and whoever wins the Cornell-Michigan State game. No sweat; even I scored a goal, and all I do is beat the hell out of people. What else can be said about a guy who leads the tournament in penalty minutes?

But I can think of someone else who deserves a penalty, and it might be a major - yes, Dad, I'm looking at you. Where the hell were you at the last two games? I saw you nowhere, and I know what your car looks like. Yes, I understand you're in Nashville now, but come on; you couldn't be bothered to come to a tournament game when you said you would be there? You didn't even send my uncle and aunt in your place.

Maybe you learned your lesson in the game, though, because all this playing of both sides is not good for you. Are you with Tom and Cirie or Rafe and Jonathan? And are you trying to turn Maria straight again? What the hell? The only certainty is that I know you can't get enough of Danni. Damnit Dad, is it just because I told you I thought she was hot? Thanks a lot, Dad. I was going to ask her out at the Reunion. Sure, I don't have a chance in hell and she's way older than me, but what the hell, right? Don't go killing the little chance I had with her.

And I'm not about to get back at you by dating Paula. That's just too weird for me.

Back from commercial.

Angakauitai Island, neutral camp, Day 18. The Fati camp is arriving at the beach after the loss at the challenge.

Maria: That challenge was absolute s---.

Danni: We should have had it.

Maria: Well, only one thing we can do.

(confessional) Danni: At this point in time, there's not much room for the alliance to screw around, so if we want someone gone, we're more than happy to vote for that person and then not tell Maria. She has an immunity idol, and I just don't trust her.

The camera shows Maria talking to Jonathan.

Maria: I think they're voting for you.

Jonathan: Why the hell would they do that?

Maria: I think it's Rafe's fault we lost, and I just don't think he's helping.

Jonathan: Wait a minute, are you with them?

Maria: I'm with this entire tribe. Rafe needs to go, but if we go farther in the game, I want the six of us together. And then you, me, Charlie, and Danni can go to the final four.

Jonathan: I could get into that, but Charlie would kill any of us.

Maria: And what makes you think we're letting him stick around?

(confessional) Jonathan: Maria makes a good point. If we have challenges we can win, our tribe's unbeatable. The only thing that stands in our way is if Ozzy goes on an immunity run, and if Charlie or Tom's on our side, that shouldn't be an issue.

The camera switches to Tom talking to Cirie and Danni.

Tom: The four of us have no room to mess around.

Cirie: The vote is Rafe, and we don't tell Maria.

Danni: Who do you think they're voting?

Tom: With any luck, each other.

(confessional) Cirie: The plan is to get rid of Rafe, misdirect Maria's vote, and make sure the idol doesn't get played. It could be any of us going home if Maria gets wind and flips.

The camera shows Danni talking to Charlie.

Danni: It's Rafe.

Charlie: Rafe?

Danni: Rafe.

Charlie: OK. I'll tell Maria--

Danni: No, don't.

Charlie: If she's not told, she won't trust us.

Danni: If she is told, she might pass the idol and then we're split three-three.

Charlie: I'm in charge of making sure she doesn't flip, though.

(confessional) Danni: And at that point, I wanted to take Charlie and tell him to stop being so damn stubborn. Maria didn't need to know about our plan.

Danni: She has an idol, Charlie. She could play it.

Charlie: Like anyone ever passes the idol like that.

Danni: Mookie did.

Charlie: And look how much good it did.

Danni: Don't tell Maria about this - or I'll flip my vote.

(confessional) Charlie: Excuse me, young lady? You're threatening to get me voted out for telling Maria the plan? Are you that stupid? Are you so incredibly stupid that you would flip on your number-one ally just because he trusts the fifth person in your alliance? I've seen turds that have more sense than that.

Danni: OK, maybe I won't flip my vote, but this still doesn't make sense.

Charlie: Sure it does. If we tell Maria, she's with us, we promise her final three, and she's with us at the merge. We have five solid, we ditch Tom and Cirie at final five, and then the end is you, me, and Maria.

Danni: And guess who wins in that scenario?

(confessional) Charlie: No kidding, Danni. Of course I want to go to the end with two winners. All I have to do is win immunity and I get a million bucks.

The camera switches to Charlie talking to Maria.

Charlie: So the plan is we vote Rafe.

Maria: Rafe? What?

Charlie: It's simple. You keep that idol of yours in your pocket, we all vote off Rafe, and then you, me, and Danni go to the final three together.

(confessional) Maria: Charlie's had a lot of time to plan this. Granted, I could probably beat Danni in the final, assuming the jury doesn't shoot themselves over having to vote between two previous winners.

The camera switches to a setting sun and then to the outside of the Tribal Council set, where the seven Fati members file in one at a time. Everyone takes their seats; all the men except Charlie are in the back row. Maria is in the back row next to Tom; Cirie is on the camera's right.

Jeff: Cirie, is this tribe falling apart?

Cirie: No, not at all. If the challenge is physical, we pretty much always win.

Jeff: Today's challenge had a lot of physical elements. Why didn't you win?

Cirie: I couldn't tell, but it looked like the other tribe had a lot of strategy working for them.

Jeff: Strategy is the number one element of this game. Charlie, you and Danni seem to be wearing yours in the open.

Charlie: A lot of people call me a leader, but I'm no leader.

Jeff: That's not what I mean. I don't think I've ever seen two people holding hands at Tribal Council.

The camera focuses on Charlie and Danni; indeed, the two are holding hands, as they have been since they sat down.

Danni: It's not a secret that Charlie and I are close. He's my friend, my confidant, and if people want to say there's more to it, let them.

Jeff: I don't even remember Rob and Amber from the first All-Stars holding hands at Tribal Council. This is where you're held accountable for everything you've done; it's the most important part of the game. And here the two of you are telling everyone you're a couple.

Charlie: I never said anything about us being a couple, Jeff.

Jeff: Sure looks that way to me.

Charlie: It doesn't mean Danni won't step over me on her way to the million.

Jeff: Danni, would you step over Charlie to get to the top?

Danni: If I had to, sure. It doesn't mean we can't be close friends out here.

Jeff: I don't buy the whole close friends business. Cirie, do you?

Cirie: It's hard to say. They're very friendly with each other at camp; they're inseparable. I've yet to see one without the other nearby.

Jeff: That's a pretty strong statement. Rafe, is that pretty accurate?

Rafe: I wouldn't know. I watch my own game; what other people do when they're not thinking strategically is their business.

Jeff: Maria, does that make sense?

Maria: I fell in love on the last season and it didn't change my strategy.

Jeff: You didn't fall in love with another contestant, though.

Maria: No, but my point is that falling in love doesn't necessarily mean your strategy changes.

Jeff: Every person I've seen who fell in love on the show saw their strategy change.

Charlie: Wait a minute there, Jeff. I don't think falling in love affected Billy and Candice.

Jeff and the tribe both pause to laugh.

Jeff: Tom, does this affect how you relate to Charlie and Danni? They're definitely not shy about this. Look at them.

Danni is shown sitting right against Charlie with her head on his shoulder.

Tom: Yes, they're into each other. But I think they're here to play the game, and enjoying someone else's company out here is not a crime.

Jeff: Jonathan, is that pretty much true?

Jonathan: It's easy enough to look at them and say they're only out for themselves and each other. It would be very easy to dump them if we wanted.

Jeff: Is that the plan?

Jonathan: Not now, but when the time comes.

Jeff: Well, we're about to see if the time is coming. Again I remind you that, if you want to play an idol, you should do so when you vote and you should write your name on the parchment inside it and place it in the side pouch. It is time to vote. Tom, you're up.

Tom gets up to vote; he writes down a name, but it is not shown.

After Tom, Rafe votes; again, his vote is not shown.

The next to vote is Cirie. She votes and sits back down without it being shown.

After Cirie, Charlie votes; his vote is for Rafe.

Charlie (to voting camera): I like you and all, but you just don't fit in. Sorry.

After Charlie, Jonathan votes; his vote is not shown.

The next to vote is Danni; she also votes Rafe.

Danni (to voting camera): Before you do it to me.

Danni sits back down; the last to vote is Maria. She is not shown voting, but she is shown taking the parchment out of her immunity idol.

Maria is briefly shown taking her seat.

Jeff: I'll go tally the votes.

Jeff goes to get the votes; he returns carrying the urn.

Jeff: Once the votes are read, the decision is final; the person voted out will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately unless someone plays an idol on their behalf. I'll read the votes.

Jeff opens up the urn and takes out a ballot.

Jeff: First vote...Rafe.

This is Danni's vote.

Jeff: ...Rafe. Two votes Rafe.

Charlie's handwriting.

Jeff: ...Danni. One vote Danni.

The camera shows Rafe looking intently.

Jeff: ...Danni. Two votes Danni.

Danni looks a little shocked at this; she is still holding Charlie's hand but not resting her head on his shoulder.

Jeff: ...Danni. Three votes Danni. Two votes Rafe. Two votes left.

The camera focuses on Cirie, who has an expressionless face.

Jeff: ...Rafe. We're tied at three votes apiece for Rafe and Danni. I'll read the last vote.

Jeff reaches into the urn and takes out the vote.

The camera quickly focuses on Maria.

Jeff: ...the eighth person voted out of Survivor: All-Stars II...

Jeff turns the vote around.

It reads...

Jeff: ...Rafe. That's four votes; that's enough. I'll check for idols now.

Jeff turns the urn and opens the side pouch.

He lets the flap fall... reveal...

...that the side pouch... empty.

Jeff: No one plays an idol; the vote stands. Rafe, you need to bring me your torch.

Rafe turns and grabs his torch without a word and places it in the holder.

Jeff: Rafe, the tribe has spoken.

Jeff snuffs Rafe's torch. He waves goodbye without saying anything before leaving.

Jeff: It may be the case that three people tried to send Charlie and Danni a message about their relationship. It may be that the majority is picking off the minority. It may just be a coincidence; I couldn't tell. All I can tell is that you never know if it's your time to go, so be ready for anything. Grab your torches; head on back to camp. Goodnight.

The remaining Fati members file out of Tribal Council as the credits begin to roll.

Jeff (voice-over): Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode.

The screen cuts to commercial.


Brian: I see Danni hasn't changed a bit from her Guatemala self. Last time it was Gary, the ex-quarterback with a secret. This time it's Charlie, the Navy captain who's at least not pretending he's a landscaper. She's still the nice, football-loving jock who's more 'one of the guys' than I ever was.

I'm absolutely rooting for her. I don't mind saying it; after all, someone has to represent our season, and Judd's just too careless to do it. Rafe's right about one thing, though; if Charlie and Danni make the merge together, they might be very hard to stop. An unkillable force from Guatemala going against the sympathy story and challenge master who would win the final vote over Mother Teresa.

Danni, if you want to repeat as Survivor winner, ditch Charlie at the right time. He'll understand. That guy loves you to death.

Earl: I've never seen a tribe that's as machine-like in their work ethic as Ta'aroa. Sure, we had hard workers in Fiji. We had geniuses like Yau-Man. But I've never seen a tribe that works as hard or plays as hard as Ta'aroa. And even with my man Yau on the tribe, that's the only thing that's keeping them in this game.

Fati's wild, undisciplined, and carefree; even Tom seems less concerned than he did last time. Charlie and Danni are too busy making wedding plans, and Jonathan's off wandering or something. If they merge at 10 like we did, Fati's probably at a disadvantage. Oh well, at least they might be on the jury if they do that messed-up scheme like they did in Fiji.

Ethan: I reiterate what I said about Ozzy earlier in the season. No one can stop him. He is many. He is one.

That man can do it all, and it's exactly why Ta'aroa became a winning tribe. Now he actually has someone to work with. Incredible. Terry's the perfect complement to Ozzy and the perfect one to take all the way. Unlike Yul, Terry seems to have no idea how to play the social game. Against a quality opponent, Terry does not win. And pretty much everyone left is quality.

The best he can hope for is one of those game-exploding three-way ties that could have destroyed the Cook Islands and Fiji seasons. Thankfully, Japan reversed that and went with the traditional format; hopefully Burnett learns that the jury of nine doesn't always work.

And if they decide to ditch Terry, Harriet and Twila are perfectly good foils in the final vote.

Jenna: If I'd stuck around on the first All-Stars, Ethan and I would have been a force greater than Rob and Amber. But I had more important places to be, so I went to be with my mom, and thank God I did.

No one in this cast has that problem, it seems. Frankly, this cast needs a little more chaos. I'd like to see them merge next week. Imagine the loop they'd be thrown for. Maybe start off with a double-boot. Merge the tribes, kick two people off, and start the jury a couple of episodes later. They need to try the early merge. It's not as if they're too destitute to afford two extra Tribal Council ballots, you know.

Now that would be chaos. And fun to watch. And I've got my eye on Yau-Man. I wonder if he'll win the car again.

Back from commercial.

Jeff (voice-over): Next time on Survivor...the tribes go head-to-head once again.

Jeff: Again, these matches are one-on-one.

Jeff (voice-over): Things explode at Ta'aroa.

Terry (shouting): I'm not the problem here! I play an honorable game!

Paula (shouting back): Oh really, so it's honorable to sabotage the tribe? Is that it?

Jeff (voice-over): And Charlie and Danni throw caution to the wind.

The camera shows Charlie and Danni together exchanging a kiss on the mouth.

Voice-over: Stay tuned for an all-new CSI coming up next.

Rafe (final words): I thought I had it; I was sure I was staying. I came on Survivor again to prove that the gay Mormon could do it a second time, but I ended up outmatched and outclassed. Someone needs to break up Charlie and Danni sooner rather than later, or else they'll end up running this game.

4 votes Rafe: Charlie, Cirie, Danni, Tom
3 votes Danni: Jonathan, Maria, Rafe

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