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"Survivor: The Society Islands: Episode #6: I'll Go Pack."
Estee 44384 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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08-17-06, 04:12 PM (EST)
 
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"Survivor: The Society Islands: Episode #6: I'll Go Pack." |
LAST EDITED ON 08-18-06 AT 07:46 AM (EST)------------------------------------------------------
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{Topic Title: The Players, The Game, The Editing: Society Islands} {Phillip is being defined by his willingness to work, his love of just being on the island, and his friendliness towards everyone around him. His story arc is at a midpoint: he's likely to make the jury, but his strength makes him too much of a threat to go very deep into the game. At the same time, there's the question of whether he's intelligent enough to play the betrayal games -- and he may be too moral to participate in them. He has a very interesting alliance partner in Connie, but she may be a lot less willing to carry him than he is to bring her along...} {...Robin is now in a desperate situation: a loner between two pairs, only one of which she's identified. If Haraiki loses again, she'll have to find a way to talk one duo into breaking the other up, or be lost herself...} {Angela loses focus too quickly when her beliefs are challenged. She's inherently convinced in the right and wrong of the world, and the instant anything proves to be something other than what she'd thought, all of her steadiness becomes a shaky insecurity. She would have undoubtedly been the most vulnerable to a tribal switch...} {...while Connie's downtime actions -- Bible study and the occasional bit of discussion -- have not triggered any potential political votes, her actions seem to be at odds with the philosophy she promotes. Her continuing hatred towards Alex does not seem to be leveling off in its story arc: it's only increasing with time. Add this to her newfound anger towards Gardener, and if all three make the merge, we will almost have to see an explosion...} {...Tony's lack of intellect, combined with a personality that can rub people the wrong way very easily, is going to hurt him. Right now, his best asset is Angela -- but he thinks he has the upper hand in that alliance. So far, Tony has shown an amazing ability to be wrong...} {...Gardener's danger zone is fast approaching, and he may be too irascible to get much further. He's a primary Haraiki target after the merge: too strong, too central to his tribe. If he does have a hidden alliance with Alex, it may be what saves him. Or we might even see a pairing with Phillip -- the strong almost have to unite eventually, but this may not be the year...} {Gary has been slowly dropping hints that he's more intelligent than he first appeared. His hiding his profession at the start of the game was the simplest piece of strategy available: who likes an IRS agent? No one. By concealing himself as a subset of what he actually does -- a humble government accountant -- he's managed to work into the Turare male alliance with no friction. He's weak within his group, but at the moment, that's his main advantage: part of the majority, but not strong enough to be a threat within it. He won't be the target of bounce votes, and the longer he stays in that position, the more he can keep building.} {...as far as emotional range goes, Mary-Jane's is slowly expanding. She's gone from someone who feels she can use her looks to win to someone who feels, period: she may be the most reactive person on her tribe, and the one most in tune to what the others are going through. Her relationship (and alliance) with Alex is also growing more complex. These are opposite personalities: the one who responds with feeling, and the one who barely responds at all...} {Desmond's story seems to have been told, but he's safe within his alliance. His lack of knowledge and uncertain feel for the game would normally indicate his demise: work done, soldier: go home. There has to be a second act to his tale if he's going to stay in the game: either he learns as he goes, or someone explains it to him in the jury box...} {Trooper is calm, steady, loyal: a protector, somewhat like Gardener, but a calmer one: the voice of reason as opposed to controlled anger. Put it all together, and he's almost being shown as someone who may be too good for the game. Are his flaws going to start coming out, like Tom -- or are we building up to a winner's edit?} {...by all rights, Alex should be out next if Turare loses again. The show has done a masterful job of shoving her position within the tribe into our faces -- so much so that it's created a thread devoted to the possibility that she and Gardener are presenting one of the greatest con jobs in series history, getting ready to sneak up on the rest of Turare and the tribe that results after the merge. The relationship between them is a strange one of mutual respect and dislike: they may actually admire each other in some ways, but it doesn't seem as if they could ever be friends. Allies, however? Yes, that's possible -- and as a stealth alliance, they might wreak more havoc than any pairing in the game, simply because no one can see them as being together. The only other possibility for the total surprise factor would be Alex & Connie -- and despite the existence of that thread subsection, that's just impossible. Alex should be out next -- but she's still being presented as a long-term character, with a story arc that doesn't seem to be anywhere near completion. And as far as the Tarot reading goes, only the Death card appears to have been edited into the show. She must go out next -- but somehow, it seems as if she can't...} {...after so many seasons, the crew is finally established enough to merit their own entry. Burnett is starting to show us individuals and personalities, at least for those who interact (interact!) with Turare on a regular basis. So far, we know two: Cameron, a peacemaker who's just trying to keep the show running without problems, and Jake, who likes to carry weapons and seems to have one with Alex. (Her 'residue from Day One' comment indicates something happened with the crew after they arrived, likely right after the cross was first used. We've speculated as to a rules debate, and it's now clear that we had one -- quite likely with Jake on the opposing side of it. Next week's recap episode may show more.) The theme of the crew is conflict: possibly with Alex, more likely with Turare, and with some potential for the merged tribe. This new arc is just getting started, and given that we've never seen one like it, there's no telling where it's going to lead...}
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{Topic Title: Gardener & Alex: Hidden Alliance?} {Okay, fine. I posted it. Now let's see everyone find a way to prove it. First, let's look at Alex's known allies within Turare: Mary-Jane. And that's it. Her Survivor Gold confessionals seem to indicate a possibility of swinging Gary's vote, but Gary's SG confessionals have him as being firmly with the men. (Then again, Gary's confessional area is the closest to camp and, despite the increased security precautions Elmore mentioned, the one most subject to being overheard -- but at this point, it seems likely that Gary is playing Alex as a subset of his game.} We have seen and heard nothing in confessionals about Gardener & Alex being aligned, public or premium. The basis for the theoretical alliance seems to be that they're both fairly intelligent people whom no one could really see them as being partners, much like Richard and Rudy at the start -- the gay man and the homophobe: who picked that one out of the hat? This thread is for proof. Let's see some.} {I still say that the fact they're not shown talking about being allied is the first piece of proof. Given what Alex has been doing to the rulebook, she's probably smart enough to lie in confessional -- even the extended versions. Maybe she's sewing together a story for us from her spool of lies. Say nothing to anyone, even the camera crew, just in case of eavesdroppers or gossip leaks. Gardener's no dummy, either -- he plays up the muscle man for all it's worth when it suits him, but this is a college graduate who somehow came out of his football program with an operational brain. Add the fact that they both seem to be pretty expert in the ways of the series, and...} {Proof? Here's proof. As much as he growls and grumbles and dedicates himself to life, red-state ideals, and getting Alex out next, Gardener is her biggest protector. Any time something happens to her, he's there. If someone is speaking against her, he's there. He's bending over backwards to keep Alex in this game. Despite all the vote-out threats, each time Connie's tried to get Alex removed on a rule technicality, Gardener has been there speaking for her. He is trying to keep his partner in one piece and in one place -- in his shadow, where no one can spot her.} {I still think there's a chance that Connie & Alex are playing everyone -- Connie is coming up with all these tossing ideas that she knows won't work just to make it look like she'd never team up with Alex, and when they hit the merge -- boom.} {I've been over the first episode several times, concentrating on their first meeting in the water. If anything happened there other than what seemed to be an instant hatred on Connie's part -- and I don't think she's a good enough actor to have faked it -- we weren't shown any hints. I agree that an Alex/Connie pairing could completely take the game apart from the inside out, just based on stealth. I just don't think there's any chance that it happened, or that it can happen after the merge. Connie will be dedicated to getting Alex out of the game, and Alex will be trying to get rid of Connie. These are natural enemies, much like the original Tom and any existing bottle of booze. One must destroy the other, for neither can live while the other survives.} {The Smoking Gun is claiming to have some dirt on Gardener. Apparently he's separated due to an affair with someone in the administration offices. It came out more-or-less in public, and she left the university. He's still there because he's got a degree of tenure, the respect of the head coach, and there's actually some question as to who seduced who. Still, it might show that he prefers to work with women after all...} {Found a picture of her. She looks nothing like Alex, so she's not a substitute for his lost forbidden love. She's more of a marathon runner type. I also found one of Audrey from an athletic function dinner: very small, thin, quiet-looking. Not what I would have figured for Gardener's type, but apparently they got married right out of high school and basically put each other through college. No kids. The separation is on a trial basis only.} {Let's look at the advantages for each player. Alex gains the strongest protector in the game next to Phillip, and Gardener's definitely smarter and more game-savvy than his country counterpart. Gardener gets what might be the most intelligent player when it comes to finding ways around the game itself, and he also gets someone he knows he can beat in the more physical challenges: haul along to Final Three, clobber in any endurance marathon, drop for the player who'll make him look best, or keep her if he thinks she's offended more people. (Imagine Connie on the jury, deciding between them. Her head might explode and send bits of cheekbone implants everywhere.) Gardener actually has the better of this deal, which might mean Alex will be looking for a chance to jump ship, maybe intensifying her link with Mary-Jane.} {I have to agree with the editing thread. Mary-Jane and Alex are opposites: if the random draw of the rafts hadn't put them on the same side, they would have been switched into the same tribe just to see how they would react to each other. We have an emotional, happy-go-lucky exhibitionist willing to use her looks to get whatever she wants on one hand -- and on the other, a repressed, quiet master of the full-body cover who seems to have absolutely no idea how attractive she is. The only thing making them work together at all is that they're both female. Otherwise, there's no common ground. In that sense, Alex and Gardener are much more natural allies, just because they've got more in common with their knowledge of and willingness to battle against the game.} {You think Alex is attractive???} {Well, she's not exactly the current swimsuit fashion standard like Mary-Jane is, but as the saying goes, if that's the type you're attracted to, you'll be attracted to that type. Long & curved has had several long runs in this game to its best advantage: before this season, short & top-heavy got two episodes. Her longer stay has drawn a lot of interest from more people than you'd think.} {What kind of people?} {Let's just say there's more sites out there than just this one, and the majority taste doesn't apply to everyone...}
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I knew how to deal with fan art. I examined it for quality, checked for humor, made sure the characters weren't doing anything they'd never, ever do (unless it was really funny), eliminated anything that crossed my personal PG-13 barrier, and put the best into its own gallery on my site. Before the show started, I'd placed a couple of hundred pieces in there, accumulated over five years of one-a-day (and, for special storylines, two) strips plus full-color triple-sized Sundays. Some of the people who submitted pieces did so semi-regularly, others were one-time contributors, and a few had gone on to their own strips. Most of the ones who sent in R-rated artwork (and higher) simply posted it on their own sites after the rejection, and most of those were hosted by DeviantArt. There didn't seem to be much of anything I could do about that -- so I didn't. As long as I made it clear that I didn't approve of those images and wouldn't host them myself, they were free to draw whatever they liked: First Amendment rights all around. Policy established and, to the degree I could control things at all, enforced. This new category, however, was giving me some trouble. {I hope you see this III} {Alex, Well, it's probably not the kind of support you wanted, but they're behind you all the way. For every five or six people who's been screaming about your continuing stay on the show -- although I've seen those numbers dropping off: I told you they'd turn their attention elsewhere -- there's one who wants you to stay for as long as possible. You're acquiring quite the fan following on the Internet and appropriately, a lot of it is being expressed in art. I'm sure you're starting to see some of it sent to your address, but there's a lot more out there that you might never find on your own. I'm attaching a very partial list of links. Most of these places are connected to each other, and you'll be able to find the others through them with very little effort, although doing so will probably take you to the ones outside your personal taste. This is actually where your devotion to keeping all available skin covered is working against you. As the classic burlesque artists knew, mystery can be a lot more appealing than nudity. Your followers know the general nature of your form, but the lack of details is fascinating them. As such, some of the fantasies have entered a mild overdrive. But... ...they like you. They really like you. And while the majority of that is physical, some of them also see enough to respect your intelligence and the way you've played the game up until this point. Your supporters may be on the fringe, but that doesn't make their support the least bit illegitimate. It just means they're out of the mainstream -- or at least, they were. They're registering on the show discussion boards, they're starting to make their voices heard -- and they draw. Do they ever draw. Still... click at your own risk.} I clicked. And then I kept clicking. And then I couldn't stop clicking. Distaste and the occasional piece of disgust were one (or two) thing(s), but once morbid curiosity gets some momentum going, it's hard to stop. Yes, I'd been seeing some of it. For the first time, I was starting to receive fan art that depicted myself. Some of it was pretty bad: low anatomy skills, no real facial rendering ability, and none of the lousy ones had any idea how clothing was supposed to lie across the body. But for every horrible attempt where the only realistic reply was a link to a book on basic drafting techniques, there was something more skilled -- and a few pieces that were just incredible. Me with Azure. Walking down Frank's trail. In camp, making fire, hauling back water, arguing with Gardener. Lots of renditions that recreated challenge scenes. Many more with me alone. There was one that showed me sitting on the beach under the stars that almost could have been a screen capture from the show -- and I knew the first moment with the sketchbook on the sand at night hadn't made the air: I'd seen that just before going to bed. There was some amazing talent being sent into my mailbox. But at the same time -- -- there were nudes: people's best guesses as to what my body looked like under the long sleeves and full-torso swimsuit, every last one of which got something wrong, with some of the distortions being deliberate. Computer-altered screen captures from the show, and all of the distortions were completely deliberate. Two images of me in bed with Gardener. Nine with me in bed with Mary-Jane, two with us together in Azure's clearing. One that had me doing something completely unbelievable with Azure's tail. Follow the links. Show discussion sites and their individual threads -- which I got away from quickly: I'd pledged to avoid them for the duration of the show, as the opinions of the experts tended to become heated, divided, and reach a state of outright warfare within minutes. (I'd seen them tear a lot of people apart over the years. I had no interest in being present for my own dissection.) Lots of DeviantArt sites. A few fetish boards, and I got away from those more quickly than I left the reality fan areas, especially after I sighted the first image that had me in leather and carrying a whip. (The second one, which showed me placing lash trails across Connie's back, almost got saved to my hard drive -- but only because we were both nearly fully (if unconventionally) dressed and the coloring was so good.) Three places dedicated exclusively to me as adoration sites, two crude and amateurish with misspelled words and no attention to grammar, one loving and devoted with high marks for proper use of English and a really good layout that made the place easy to navigate... I sighed. Yes, there are people who seem to approve of me. Hooray. Maybe if I'm really lucky, I'll never meet most of them. Some of those picture alterations were more than a little scary. I'm not anywhere near that tall, I don't have a cat's tail growing out of my rear... And that was the minority. The majority had their focus in another area. Sheesh. If you want to express your support, order a book... Then again, looking at the names of those who'd chosen to identify themselves openly, some of them had. And some of the others were also people who'd been sending me nude pictures of themselves in the first and subsequent weeks. Fan art from people who, for whatever reason they'd personally found and locked into, were fans of me... I sat back and thought about it for a while. There hadn't been much reaction posted to my Inbox regarding the previous night's episode. Some people calling me a cheater for the memory game strategy, but nearly all of them had called me a cheater for the cross: not many new faces for that aspect. Three from college addresses asking me to explain the strategy idea in the best detail I could, because they wanted to use it in a paper. One from a Princeton professor which explained it to me with diagrams and wanted to know if I'd known what I was doing when I did it, or had just somehow lucked onto it through instinct. Mockery of my stiltwalking abilities. Mockery of Angela's assumptions. Suggestions that I take up a new career based on Angela's assumptions... I'd watched again, and some of what they'd shown had stood out from the screen, begging for attention. Robin seeming to want out of her own tribe. Me, almost reading the poem and listening to Desmond make the most incredible admission of the season. Gardener's speech to Connie, completely unedited -- and what he'd said to me as we went to the practice area, all of it. The fiasco with Azure. The second (near) fiasco with Azure. Haraiki stiltwalking all over us. Their bathroom, and the privacy it had granted them, the privacy I'd wanted so badly... Phillip and Connie, working together. Mary-Jane making implications. My talking to Azure at the lake, and a little bit of the confessional that had followed. Fun and games on our side, work and small disasters on theirs. The third fiasco of the episode, but this one was all on Haraiki, with all the show's credit given to me. And Denadi, the most obvious of their possible boots, gone -- but Tony with the idol. Nothing from Turare's side of Day Fifteen, nothing from my fishing with Trooper, no sketchbook work -- -- but Jake and Cameron were on screen. I'd wondered whether they would include it. Given what had happened afterwards, it had seemed like a natural addition -- but I didn't know which story Burnett would chose to tell, or how he'd try to spin it. He hadn't shown Jake's reaction to me after the camera crew had been told to let me go ahead with the cross -- but if we got a recap episode this year with never-before-seen footage, then there was a 'yet' attached to that. He'd shown the speech that hinted at it, which might mean it would make the extra airing if there was one -- -- and he'd shown Jake and Cameron. The entire confrontation over the tranquilizer gun, as it had happened, with even a flicker of image from Jake's downwards-pointed camera added to establish what I'd been upset about in the first place. "You knew it had to come out, Alex." Another sigh. Aloud, "Yeah, Jeff. I knew. But -- I thought he might protect that part in the end. Show everything but that part. He could edit it out and still keep the events pretty much intact. Some people might have wondered, but not many. Instead, he's setting up for exactly what happened -- or he will if..." "You can check that, you know." Fair point. I went to the CBS site, checked the schedule. Yes, the next week was going to be a recap episode and sure enough, stay tuned for that precious never-before-seen footage. So he probably will show it. He kept it hidden because he wanted the continuity for the first day, no one but us and you. Bring the crew in later, when their part started to become more important. "Maybe you should actually be happy about it." Jeff trying to be reasonable again. And as nearly always, failing. "It's your story -- if they tell it as accurately as possible, it can only help you. Right?" I closed my eyes and looked at an inner me who had existed months before, beyond reach, outside contact, always within examination. "Define 'help'." The scars were itching again. I scratched them until it stopped, then opened a menu and started the slow, careful work of creating a new gallery for show art. Some of it was quality work. For that if no other reason, it should be displayed. Besides, maybe if I kept my fan art policy intact and openly applied it to show art, they'd stop creating the hardcore pieces. They'd know the work would never be posted on my site, so... "Nice delusion, Alex." "You could have let me keep it intact for a whole two seconds."
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Estee 44384 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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08-17-06, 10:24 PM (EST)
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1. "I'll Go Pack: Part II" |
LAST EDITED ON 08-20-06 AT 11:13 PM (EST)Before
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CBS Eyemail, Episode #6. 3. One Survivor is in dire straits, seemingly with no way out. Is there any way this player can remain in the game?
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{And we find ourselves at Week #6. Somehow, we find ourselves at Week #6. We've been insulted, driven out of the game on technicalities, been bumped, bruised, scratched up, yelled at, had a gun pulled on us, and overdosed -- and yet, we're at Week #6. I'm personally amazed at how resilient we are.} {Here's the Sucks clue, and I quote: 'Boing!' Oh, for...} {'Boing'? That's it? 'Boing'? Good lord. Progress goes 'bonk' and this show goes 'boing'. Anyone got a guess?} {I'll say it's the sound of Mary-Jane's bikini top flying off again.} {No, that's too common for a clue. There's no point in wasting one on something that happens in pretty much every episode. Maybe Alex has a bra break.} {Solid steel breaks?} {Hidden idol? That sounds kind of like a cartoon sound effect for something bouncing...} {Or breaking. Or having a spring come loose.} {So that's three votes for Alex's bra.} {It's possible, but it could also be a plan bouncing, a strategy backfiring on the user... Something might be reflecting here, but it's hard to tell what. What's the rest of the Internet got figured for results?} {Same thing we do: Turare gets Reward, Haraiki gets immunity, and goodbye, Alex. And before everyone tells me I'm repeating myself, this is the week! The preview trailer from the end of the last episode, all the commercials they've been running -- we know Turare loses something, and they're making it look for all the world like it's Immunity, which means either Alex has to finally get Gardener to save her, or everyone on that thread is wrong and she's out several cards short of a full reading, which means we have to rethink the whole Tarot speculation, too -- editing and supernatural alike. It would also mean that the locked thread ratio would go way down and some of our newbies might slink back underneath their church pews, so this wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing.} {And if I told you I've become fascinated by this series and fully intend to stay for the duration to see if Connie can win it all?} {I'd say 'I'm glad you enjoyed your crapbasket and I hope you settle down a little with the bikini-whore stuff after your primary target is gone.' Why?} {Just wondering. And until she displays a strategy that isn't her body, 'bikini-whore' stands.} {Okay, guys, this is it. If Turare loses and Alex stays, she and Gardener are partners. Agreed?} {I'll go with that. And if we're wrong and Haraiki loses?} {Could be anyone. Angela so Tony will be weaker without a voice in his ear, Connie just because, Robin to prevent her from making a jump...} {Maybe not that last -- I don't think any of them have picked up on how fed up she is with the entire group.} {Recrap time! Yes, Frank is gone, but Turare isn't going to tell anyone why. Yes, Connie is a bitch, and Gardener is going to tell everyone why. And for the first time in series history, we're going to seek the high ground! -- which explains why nearly everyone fell off. Hey, Azure really wants to be a part of the challenges! Hey, Alex really wants twenty pounds of ice, stat! Haraiki basks in the unfamiliar sensation of winning a Reward, Turare slumps in the depressing aftermath -- but wait! There's still Immunity, and you know something? In the middle of a game that's all about lying, someone finally figured out just when to do it! So poor innocent truth-telling Haraiki gets victimized by the mean Turare bullies, and they have to let go of little Denadi, who went 'You all suck' all the way home. And Tony found the hidden idol, because Angela can. Last chance to solidify your majority or catch up before the merge, players -- better make sure you're on your game! But if you could explain to us how that game includes a strange confrontation with the crew, we'd be all kinds of thankful. And now, your opening credits, which do not show Jake on the Haraiki side with Cameron as part of Turare. Thank goodness. Our borderline-autistics were getting ready to convulse.}
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By the morning of Day Sixteen, we finally have our conference area. Ever since the medivac, I'm the only one who's shown any interest in going down Frank's trail: it has too many bad memories attached for the others to consider it. As such, I'm the sole tribe member who brings in the occasional piece of starfruit, goes by the grass patch -- and checked the means to circle around from other places without being spotted. Gary knows he can meet me there -- I wander, he goes off to find a bathroom spot -- so my second theoretical alliance has developed a discussion zone. In theory, Mary-Jane and I could pretty much talk in public at this point because everyone believes that 1. we're aligned and 2. given the numbers, there's no point to it. But if Gary and I are going to stay undercover, we need privacy. This will be our place if we need it. If he's actually my ally. If his word means anything at all... Back to 'if' again. I shake my head and start gathering starfruit. As far as my first theoretical (and equally pointless) alliance goes, Mary-Jane's already let me in on her plan: win the final (presumed) tribal Immunity. That's it. If Turare stays intact, we should merge at 6-4, and after that, we both have a free ticket to the jury: the men won't get rid of one of us until they're up five to three, at the absolute minimum. The early pre-Pagonging boot might come because they'd be afraid that Mary-Jane and I would switch to Haraiki and swing the numbers that way, but there's a built-in problem with that: I don't think they'd have us. At least, Connie would put up a fight. I think. I don't know how much she values strategy over hatred. I don't want to be on her side in any way, the thought makes me sick, but... ...well, if I'm considering the possibility, someone in the male alliance has probably thought of it. If Gardener's worked this out, then he probably will try to oust me or Mary-Jane -- okay, me -- at nine. I'll make the jury, I'll forfeit a trip to Sequesterville in order to stick around and vote for a winner, and I'll probably get to live in the mansion. It's not the worst of trades, although I was curious to see which country they'd picked this year. But ninth-place money is more important than a vacation -- and given that I'd promised myself the sole San Diego trip if I claimed the first jury seat, I'll have a working vacation ahead of me regardless. It's not the worst of fates. If we win. If we don't... ...then I'll have to deal with it. Gardener thinks I'm going next, and if we lose, he'll probably be right. But he also seems to think I'll go quietly, without a fight -- and there, I intend to prove him wrong. I've been in a lot of fights, most of which I couldn't avoid, the majority destined to be a loss on my end. I always took my swings. If nothing else, I had to let the other person know I'd been there. No automatic victories, no beatings suffered through without a little pain given to the other side. You don't lie down on request and you never take it quietly. The final result was probably still going to be a 5-1 ouster for me, but if I could do anything at all, it would be one of the most conference-filled 5-1 preludes anyone had ever ignored the future bootee through. If nothing else, the part where I try to talk Gardener into keeping me should make for a great all-time comedy moment. I head back to camp. Mary-Jane, Trooper, and Desmond are working on the fire from sitting positions as I enter our clearing: Gary and Gardner aren't present. Azure makes a welcoming sound as she spots me and immediately transfers from perch to shoulder. The weight is starting to become an accustomed thing, and I can't let myself get too used to it. Given Azure's uncertain future -- not to mention mine -- high among the last things I can afford to do is accept her as a constant presence... "Hey, guys. Where's the rest of the tribe?" Trooper glances up. "Gary's on a bathroom trip -- Gardener's washing up at the lake." He grins. "Or they're both in a secret alliance conference. Who knows?" And thank you for getting my morning dose of paranoia out of the way early. At least Desmond looks as queasy about that statement as my stomach momentarily felt... I bring the fruit over and kneel down on a ground pad, making it look like I'm expecting to get up again in a hurry. "It's usually good to get the secret alliance conferences out of the way early." A glance at Mary-Jane. "Do you want to have ours now, while there's still time?" Trooper snickers, Desmond chokes, and Mary-Jane nearly goes backwards. "Guess not..." Trooper grins as he puts another piece of wood on the fire. "Come on, Mary-Jane -- it's a secret alliance conference. You two had better get out of here and start whispering before the rest of us catch on." Mary-Jane groans. "Some secret... everyone knows this tribe has been men against women from the first day." Trooper nods. "No argument." And points at Desmond, who's starting to look as if throwing himself into the fire is becoming a viable option. "All blame." He shrugs. "But if we win tomorrow, it'll be Turare against Haraiki at the merge -- count on that." Which I am, for a duration of exactly one vote. "The jury calls, people -- I'd like to think all of us are going to either be on it or sitting in front of it." Which gets a small smile from Mary-Jane. "You may have just invoked the curse, you know." Desmond's confused, which no longer surprises anyone. "How do cars work into that?" I shake my head. "Anyone who openly expresses a desire to reach the jury generally does -- but never makes Final Two. I think Trooper dodged by wishing for all of us to make it, though." Trooper gets up, goes over to the full water container, starts pouring the contents into our cooking pot. "That's the one. But yeah -- I know better than to say it directly as a pure wish." His expression goes oddly thoughtful for a moment. "I thought Sequesterville would be a nice stopover if I went out early -- see part of the world, get a real vacation in for the first time in years, but -- well, I want to see this thing to the end, one way or another. I'm kind of curious about how it's going to work out." To Desmond's credit, he does get the idea. "I'll watch my words," he jokes. "What happens if you openly say you're going to make Final Two?" Mary-Jane laughs. "You're either in the middle of a hubris edit, or you're Richard..." Either Desmond worked out 'hubris edit' on first hearing, or he's not worried about it. "Well, I intend to try," he tells us. "I've come this far, and that's a lot farther than some of the other oldsters went. A lot of them were going out in those first episodes, gone by the last one... Hell, I even outlasted Denadi. I think I'm the oldest person left in the game." Which is an accomplishment, but I'm not completely sure he really sees it that way. Desmond still thinks he can win. Trooper brings the pot over, places it in the frame, and sits back down. "Okay, you've got me curious. When you first got the call -- and be realistic here -- how far did you think you'd go?" Mary-Jane answers first. "I hoped Final Two -- I think any one of us would be lying if we said we hadn't at least daydreamed about it -- but realistically?" A long pause. "Jury, at least. I thought I could keep myself around that long." "You'll make it," Trooper reassures her, which does nothing for me. "I thought I'd reach it, too -- strong enough to be an asset at Tribal, but after that... well, I'm a challenge threat. Nothing's guaranteed." No point in lying about it: physically, he's the most balanced person on the tribe. It's too late to start faking clumsiness now. Desmond's response doesn't require a lot of consideration on his part, and it doesn't surprise me at all. "Final Two and win. I wouldn't have done this if I didn't think I could beat it." "Same here." This from the water path, and we all turn around: Gardener has just returned. "Good thing that wasn't an alliance talk: I could hear you a couple of dozen yards up the trail... If you don't believe in your heart that you can win a game, you shouldn't even play the game." He looks briefly disgusted. "Which is why I'm hoping Denadi's not merging with us. I'd hate to see someone pull a Scout to the Final Four and then win the last two Immunities... Alex, let's hear yours. I'm curious myself now." I go with the honest answer. "Out first, on a technicality or the vote." Everyone stares at me. "I knew there was a chance of being kicked out over the cross." Gardener approaches the fire, bringing the second water container with him. He's very clearly freshly scrubbed: the last bits of dead sunburnt skin are finally gone. "Then why bring it at all?" The interest sounds honest enough. He's very good at that. "Because I knew there was a chance of not being kicked out over the cross..." I stare at the fire for a moment from my kneeling position, surprised at how much thought I'm putting into this answer. Azure stares with me. "You want the truth, Gardener? I thought I fit the profile of the classic first boot. I pretty much thought that was the whole reason I was cast. Remember my question to Jeff?" Everyone nods. "That was why I asked it -- because I've always wondered, and I thought I'd screwed up someone's production plans. So I wanted to do something that would at least be memorable if I went first, whether I got to stay in the game after it or not. Be something more than a trivia answer for the next 'Name the two dozen people who shouldn't have even bothered showing up' quiz. So..." I shrug my right shoulder. "You saw. And if I stayed past that -- I didn't know. I'd try to go as far as I could, just to see how far I could go..." Gardener nods as he sits down. Somehow, it seems oddly solemn. "I'm not much for casual promises, so take this one seriously: if we win Immunity tomorrow and merge at ten, I'll give you the jury. You've earned that much." A double-shoulder shrug on his end. "But if we lose, I'm keeping that promise, too." "Noted," I tell him. "On both ends." He's vaguely amused by that. Mary-Jane's a little surprised. "I was wondering about that question -- you shocked the hell out of Jeff. He really didn't know what to do with it for a few seconds... and the crew was horrified that he did anything at all." Gardener snorts. "Hell, I'm actually glad you asked it. There were a few times at home when I wondered about that one myself. Peter was the first one who made me really question it -- but then Aras blew the hell out of that part of the theory when the yoga mention didn't lead to an automatic boot. I'm not sure I believe every part of Jeff's answer, but..." He trails off, looking for the right words, and doesn't seem to find them. I take a shot. "But you think he believes them?" A single slow nod. "Yeah. Like a coach giving a pep talk to a losing team. Part of him knows deep-down that his squad has no chance, but if a few of the plays just break his way..." Trooper stands up just enough to check the water. "There's always hope." "Sure is." And that from Gary, who's just come out of the bushes. "What are we talking about?" Desmond, who wants someone else to hear his prediction, provides the answer. "How far we thought we'd go in this game before we ever got here. I said Final Two." "Oh." Gary visibly considers his answer. "Jury." He grins. "And yeah, I know what I probably just did. I'd keep the car, too. Superstition and I don't get along." Gardener, who may have never seen an out-of-bounds line he didn't jump over when entering the field, actually seems surprised by that. "Did I think I had a good chance to win? Sure, but if I didn't, I figured I'd at least get a vote in for who did." Mary-Jane laughs, very lightly. "Like Trooper said, we're all one win away from either the jury or the Final Two -- the majority is going to mean everything." "Unless someone aligns with Haraiki," Gary points out. "That could switch things up really fast." Gardener shakes his head. "No one here is going to break tribal faith and link up with that group. Trust me there --" and a camera operator gives the signal. "Looks like it's about that time, people -- do we have time to get a drink first?" This to the camera operator, who gives him a nod -- and also points at Gary's swimming trunks, hung from a tree branch high above the fire, left out to dry after yesterday's late lake swim. Whatever this is, water will be involved. "Good. Let's end their Reward streak at one, before they start getting cocky." He snorts. "Not that Tony needs much help in that department. I wish I'd gotten a chance at him in college -- you don't get the right to the attitude unless you show the ability." Desmond gets one of his rare (and weak) jokes in. "What makes you think he ever went to college?" Gardener concedes that one. "Because I've seen as stupid on full scholarships, mostly in my gym forgetting how to count high enough to track their reps... But yeah, he's under the limit. Eat, drink, and get ready, for in a little while, we battle..."
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{Day Sixteen in Haraiki's camp: Connie and Phillip are the first ones up, using the time to talk about the others. Connie's openly relieved to have Denadi out of the game. "I couldn't stand the mysticism, Phillip. I did my best to keep the peace for the tribe's sake, but to have the word so openly denied in front of the group..." Phillip says Denadi believes what she believes and it all comes down to the same God at the end, so he didn't mind it. Connie smiles at him and tells him he's kind to say it, but he has to be very careful about his faith, or he could wind up in trouble. Translation: don't tolerate people, dear, it's very bad for your afterlife.} {Phillip wondering about the merge. Connie telling him they'll all be counting on his strength to bring them there at 5-5, and after that, who knows what can happen? Phillip promises he'll do his best, then openly wonders if they can get one of the Turare people with them. Connie thinks Gary is a strong possibility, as he seems like a decent, clean-living man who must be sick of the personalities he's been forced to associate with. Phillip wants Gardener -- he really wants to see two strong guys playing together for once, and he just likes his counterpart. Of course, he likes everybody, but he really likes Gardener. Connie tells him to make the approach and see what happens, tie or no tie: she'll do the same with Gary.} {Imagine what's going to happen if they merge at nine this season -- everyone's making way too many plans.} {No, I think we're a mortal lock for ten. There's no way Burnett will put off bringing these groups together with the potential fireworks involved. I'm actually surprised we're not getting together at eleven.} {Dude, bite your keyboard.} {Two-thirds of Turare around the fire -- did Alex just make a joke?} {I think so. Desperate times lead to desperate punchlines.} {Her strip's actually got some really funny lines -- I guess something was going to make it to the screen eventually. She has a sense of humor somewhere: we just haven't really seen it up until now, except maybe for a tiny bit when she brought in Azure. And still, even with that attempt, the quiet deadpan remains...} {Trooper confirms what we knew all along about Turare -- again -- makes Desmond squirm -- again -- may have just invoked Curse #2 and they're actually talking about Curse #2, this is starting to feel like some sort of meta-episode -- they're actually bringing up editing. Wow. Burnett must have really been comfortable with himself this week.} {How far did they all think they'd go? This is interesting: Mary-Jane thought at least the jury, so did Trooper, Desmond thought he'd win -- hah! -- as did Gardener -- possible -- and Alex believed with all her heart that she'd be out first?} {There was a small cut in the middle of her speech between 'cast' and 'so' -- I caught the flicker. And I think that pose, right there, with Azure digitally removed, is the opening credits shot.} {Still -- interesting speech. So there's the DAW in Alex: she just wanted people to remember her. Do you think that ties into her being an orphan?} {I'm convinced the misuse of the cross ties into that in and of itself, but beyond that -- it was actually something of a sad statement, and yes, I realize that coming from me about Cole, that's hard to believe. But still -- no family at all, not married, no boyfriend, possibly no friends at all, no faith in her life to give her comfort, no one to remember her after she's gone... Is it even remotely possible she came on this show because she was lonely?} {Okay, I think you've been here long enough for someone to sit you down and explain what 'DAW' stands for. Just come over here by the fireplace...} {I know what it means, thank you. I think I have a legitimate theory. I may even start a thread about it tomorrow.} {You -- start a non-Bashers thread -- about Alex? This I've got to see.} {Then just wait until we clear 'spoiler time'. I'm working on the starter post in another window now.} {Like every reality show contestant ever, she applied because she wanted attention. I can't find 'loneliness' anywhere in that equation.} {And suddenly, I'm the compassionate one. Would someone explain to me how this happened?} {You're finally living up to your professed faith? Next thing you know, you'll have to start using her first name... Don't worry. It'll pass. It's a funny theory, though. I don't necessarily think it applies here, but I can think of some previous contestants from a lot of shows where it might partially fit. We may have to name it after you.} {Not quite the immortality I was going for.} {Gary defies the Survivor gods -- twice -- and we're off to the challenge... what, no travel footage? What is this, some kind of completely normal episode or something?}
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There's no wait this time. The moment we arrive at the entrance to Challenge Beach is the moment we hear Jeff call out "Come on in, Turare!" We all glance at each other, and Gary shrugs: it had to happen sometime. We troop in, and the challenge staff immediately signals me. I head over, taking custody of the information as I give up Azure: after the trial run at the last Immunity challenge, this one is clearly going to be something more physical -- and if the waiting parrot perch and swimsuit-bringing order weren't already clues, the longboats sitting at the water's edge are. The floating buoys will have also something to do with it, and we're just waiting on Jeff to tell us what we're playing for and how. Jeff takes his next step towards obliging us. "Haraiki, come in!" They enter -- and our group guess is confirmed. "Turare getting your first look at the latest version of Haraiki -- Denadi voted out at the last Tribal Council." There isn't a single flicker of surprise on our mat as Haraiki takes their positions. Connie stares across the gap at me as usual, briefly switches to Gardener, and then goes back to her accustomed gaze rest, apparently waiting to see if either of us is going to say something today. I'm not, and I'm pretty sure Gardener isn't going to, but at least it lets her get some practice in for the inevitable fire-staring competition. Our host waits a few seconds to see if anyone's going to start anything, and perceptibly relaxes when it doesn't happen. It's been an interesting season for him, too. "Today's challenge is for Reward," he tells us, taking that twist possibility out of the mix. (An Immunity-Reward-Hunt cycle isn't impossible.) "Here's how it's going to work. Each tribe will paddle their longboat --" a Hawaiian style "-- out to each of the five buoys. Attached to the ocean floor under each one is a box. One tribe member will get out at each stop, swim down, detach it, and bring it up -- and each tribe member can only bring up one box, so everyone will go diving by the end of this one." I glance at the course. It looks like we're going to be paddling about six hundred yards round-trip -- this won't be a fast one. Can Jeff yell loudly enough to keep us updated on each other at that distance? "Once you have all five boxes, get back to shore and open them on your mat. Each box will contain two puzzle pieces. The first tribe to completely and correctly assemble their puzzle wins Reward." Okay, simple enough. It's a combination challenge: part physical, part mental, and of a style most of us have seen before. The trickier stuff may come tomorrow. "Alex, we're taking Azure for this one because we don't know how she'll react to being out on the water." I nod, but I have a pretty good idea: she'd flown back to shore when Trooper had led me out into the shallows to practice casting. She'd probably just abandon me in the boat and return when I reached the sand again -- but it wasn't a guarantee, and I could paddle a lot more easily without a parrot on one shoulder. "Want to know what you're playing for?" "Yes, Jeff!" What does he have waiting in the wings -- because there's no covered table on the beach right now -- that could possibly top the toilet and shower? Answer: nothing. This one's a step down in terms of comfort -- but as far as other aspects of the game go... "Well, at this point in the game, you're probably getting sick of fish, fruit, and rice -- at least for those of you who still have rice." He gives Haraiki a significant look, and Robin returns it with a brief and weary one. We're all paying close attention: did they use their bag up already, or lose it during the first storm? But right now, that's taking second place in our collective thoughts, because Jeff is clearly leading up to -- "So because you've had a pretty monotonous diet for the last sixteen days, and a merge feast is never a guarantee --" Angela briefly closes her eyes, looking pained: apparently she had just as much hope for that as -- well, everyone else "-- the winning tribe will receive a complete roast pork barbecue dinner. You'll have pork legs. Pork chops. Pulled pork, all courtesy of the American Pork Association and everyone's favorite other white meat." How did this much saliva get into my mouth? "There will be rolls to make sandwiches with, barbecue sauce, mashed potatoes --" Mary-Jane moans "-- roasted ears of corn, and sodas, all served to you tonight. Not only will you get a break from seafood, but the extra protein might even help perk you up for the Immunity challenge tomorrow." And the most rhetorical question of the game to date: "Worth playing for?" Worth playing for? Gardener looks like he's ready to trade in the tarps if it would mean the tiniest edge in this competition. Phillip is already moving towards the oceanwards edge of his mat, getting into position for the first run to the boat. Robin's practically hung a sign around her neck reading Will give right arm for meat. And if it comes down to a bidding contest, Tony's ready to top her by an ear. For my part, I'd really like to stop swallowing all this extra spit... Jeff's highly amused. "Okay, people -- take a moment to stop drooling, then give me an answer the cameras can use." Desmond wipes the corners of his mouth, and we provide the take. "And I thank you for your support -- does everyone understand how the challenge works?" Gardener, right after Jeff finishes turning the question mark over to the custody of the editing department. "How deep are we diving?" "The deepest point is about twenty-five feet down," Jeff tells us. "It's not the most even or steady progression as you go out, but take it for granted that your first people will have the shortest distance." Gardener nods, looking like he's already planning the order. "Angela, you look like you've got one." "Can we swap?" she asks. "You said it was one person per box -- what if someone goes down, can't recover it, and comes up without it? Can someone else try then?" It's a good question. If Jeff says yes, it'll keep a tribe from being stuck at a buoy while one person tries over and over to the point of exhaustion unless they're on the last box -- but for the other four stations, the switched-out person will have to try again later at a harder area. Jeff can see where she's going with it. "That's legal -- but you'll need to finish with five people having recovered five boxes, so switching on the fly can ultimately hurt you. Someone's going to need strength for the deepest one at the end." So Jeff has spoken, so we will have to work with. "Anyone else?" Connie: "What kind of puzzle?" Another look at me, shorter this time. I'm guessing she's just remembered what happened at the end of the blindfold challenge, and she's not looking forward to a potential repeat. Jeff grins. "No clues. You'll see -- okay, we're clearly going for the record here. Alex?" "How large are the boxes?" That's important. It's not just freeing them, it's bringing them up. "Not very," Jeff tells me, "and the contents are light. Anyone here should be able to handle them easily." He looks around. "That's it?" It is. "Okay -- Turare, you have one extra person: someone's sitting this one out. Talk it over and then tell me who it's going to be." We confer. Gardener gets directly to the point. "I'd rather keep you out of the diving, Alex, but we're going to need you on that puzzle -- plus we may be better off having you sit out Immunity." Hey! "I'm not sitting out Immunity," I tell him, the frustration instantly reaching my voice. "Immunity is for finding out if I get to stay or not -- I want to get an active part in that." "Not if we get another stilt-type challenge, you don't," Gardener firmly replies. "Discuss it later -- you're in this one. So this is swimming and diving ability, and we haven't tested the first since Day One, and the second at all." "It's got to be weakest lung capacity," Mary-Jane decides. "Whoever can't stay down that long should sit out." Trooper can agree with that. "Alex, you're okay for breath-holding, right?" "I didn't get much of a chance to practice diving," I tell them. Truth: shore access was impossible on my budget and required travel time, and the local YMCA was best avoided if you didn't like the full host of waterborne diseases available. (One day, they would discover chlorine, but it probably wouldn't be in the current millennium.) My swimming skills had come from the resurrection of long-dormant teachings, all of which had fortunately returned in a hurry under the pressure of trauma. "But I can hold my breath pretty well." That was easy to practice: just inhale and go through normal activities for as long as I could. "I'll be okay." Gary nods, looking mildly relieved. "This is the sort of thing where capacity drops with age, though -- I know I'll have a hard time matching some of you." And that statement immediately puts us onto -- -- Desmond sighs. Reluctantly, "Okay, fine. I can swim and I can dive, but I can't stay under that long. I just hate sitting out a second one. That time for injury was one thing, but..." "We've all got weak areas," Trooper tells him. "Gardener can't win in a long footrace, Mary-Jane can't handle gross foods, and Alex is subject to dive-bombing. No one's the perfect contestant." Gardener very gently slaps Desmond on the back, as if reassuring a teammate. "What he said. And what I said before: sit-outs are as much a part of strategy as anything else." This seems to make Desmond feel a little better, although it surprises me: Gardener doesn't seem to be one for high-fiving and buttock-patting. "Gary, what's your best time?" "About a minute and fifteen," Gary tells him -- then grins. "And now I have to hope this doesn't come up for the individual challenges..." "Assuming you weren't lying," Gardener reminds us. Yes, he's very loose today. Maybe it's the coming merge: despite what he'd said at camp, Gardener must have had a secondary goal of getting to that stage, and he's as safe as anyone can be in the current tribe. "Desmond?" "Under a minute," Desmond concedes. "I'll sit." Gardener alerts Jeff, and Desmond heads over to the waiting area. One by one, the rest of us step into the tent to get changed. Pork barbecue... I wonder what it tastes like.
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Estee 44384 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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08-18-06, 01:31 PM (EST)
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2. "I'll Go Pack: Part III" |
LAST EDITED ON 08-20-06 AT 11:33 PM (EST)After
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Three offers, two of which took a lot of time to translate from Legalese. The first one wanted me to turn over the patent entirely and forever in exchange for what I thought was a large fee. (Of course, my definition of 'large' generally starts at four digits, two of which don't necessarily have to be to the left of the decimal point.) Once I did that, they'd have the exclusive right to make duplicates of the cross until the patent ran out, and I would have the exclusive right to spend the fee. I would never hear from them again, and they would never do anything which associated me with their new product. I didn't mind the second aspect so much, but the idea of a one-time payment and no potential future benefits bothered me a little. Offer #2: I gave the company the right to use the patent for one year. During that time, they'd sell versions of the cross, then pay me based on the total number of units sold. I might or might not become a part of any advertising they did: this largely depended on what my reputation was at the end of the show plus any possible weak level of fame resulting from same, and they were fair enough to say so at the start. Once the year was up, they (and only they) had the option to renew. If they didn't, the patent reverted to me and I could try again with another company. A little better, but the loss of control on my end was a problem. I didn't really mind being compensated on how well the cross sold, but once I compared the offer as a whole to: Third contract: the second one lost something. This one was offering to share the patent for five years. I'd be given less than the first offer to start, but I'd also receive twenty percent of the profits from worldwide sales for the duration, and they'd give me extra compensation if they wound up using me in any advertising. At the end of the contract, both parties had to agree to renew, or the patent reverted to me. Five thousand dollars plus twenty percent of the profits, versus seven thousand and nothing after, against a sliding fee that might top ten thousand, but would need to have a cross in every home in the country just to approach it... It was no contest. I picked up the phone and called Coleman. "Hello -- is this Stan?" Yes, it was. "This is Alex Cole -- I just finished going over your offer." As a big fan of the show, he had already recognized my voice. What did I think of the offer? "I think it's the best one I've gotten. I was just calling to let you know I was going to sign the papers and mail them back to you today. We've got a deal." And he's happy! And he's thrilled to have nailed down the latest camping accessory for Coleman, and he knows we're going to be very happy working together, and by the way, as long as we're talking... "I'm sorry -- there's another contract in play here. I'm not legally allowed to say anything about the show." Oh. Well, he guesses he can understand that. He's looking forward to receiving the paperwork and getting the production machinery set up: my initial check will be sent out as soon as their legal department files the last copy -- two weeks, tops -- and the first profit check will be cut one year after sales start. And wasn't it great, having a Cole associating with Coleman? "There's probably no relation... but it's a nice synergy." He thanked me a few more times, repeated his enthusiasm, and then said that they'd be looking into selling some units to the U.S. Army, for devout soldiers in the field. I thanked him, being equally cordial (if less enthusiastic -- no one short of Mary-Jane could have matched that enthusiasm), and finally hung up. I thought it was a good offer. Honestly, the thing was just a novelty item. It had some application for campers, certainly, but there was no way of knowing if the sales would continue for as much as one year, let alone five -- plus if the various protesting parties got angry, Coleman might take a small hit in overall sales of everything. They were probably big enough to absorb the blow, which was one of the reasons I'd finally gone with them -- I didn't want to be responsible for bringing a smaller company (#2) down -- but... well, I had no real way of telling if any of the initial fees were fair, which was why getting part of the profits seemed like the best proposition. If it turned out to be a strong seller, everyone would benefit. But still -- in the end, I had no real way of telling if the best offer was ultimately fair, and I had no one to talk to about it. They must have figured I'd reject anything that looked bad... I sighed. No, this wasn't the time to second-guess. I started signing the papers -- and naturally, kept second-guessing, because what were the chances that the Army would buy any units? Low. Very, very low. This was a pure novelty item which a tiny number of campers might be interesting in purchasing. That was all. Coleman wouldn't need to spend that much money to set up the manufacturing process given all the equipment they already had, the basic materials were cheap, and they still might wind up losing on the deal. I could have easily ripped them off without knowing it. But still -- it was five thousand dollars, which I would probably be depositing less than a month from now, counting mailing times on both ends. Maybe even under three weeks. Five thousand dollars was a lot of money. And if the cross somehow sold... No -- it's five thousand dollars. That's it. I'd hedged a two-thousand dollar bet on future earnings that probably weren't going to come, but it had been my choice and that was the one I'd made. I finished filling out the forms, packaged them for shipping, and then wrote letters to the rejected companies, explaining who I'd gone with and thanking them for their time. Off to the Post Office, with twelve freshly finished commissions coming along for the walk. It wasn't a part in a really lousy movie, or a job in morning radio, and it definitely wasn't a co-hosting job on a talk show that seemed to exist just to make people feel bad about themselves. But it was something. It's five thousand dollars. And that's not bad at all. And it felt like the first piece of pure good news to emerge from the show's aftermath -- -- okay, just admit it. It's a new mattress so the old one won't poke springs into my back, a monitor that won't flicker, and a winter coat, plus a bank account reserve and maybe -- maybe -- a new television. New things. Possessions that no one had owned before me... Jeff found something interesting beyond that basic concept. "So is this you admitting some good might have come from being on the show?" I sighed. This is me admitting that some money has come from my being on the show. A leading statement: "And that's the whole reason you applied." You know why I applied. I could feel the internal nod. "And I know how much it cost you to say."
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During
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Jeff doesn't need our diving order written down before we start: he accepts that we may be making this up as we go along, or at least trying to adjust fast after we see how hard it really is. But we've still got one in place, ready to go -- and Jeff has new pieces of equipment: a small megaphone, guaranteed not to appear on screen, to make his voice project more, and two assistants with binoculars, watching us and ready to report in as close to real time as they can possibly manage, with any lag corrected in editing. "For a pork barbecue dinner and one night of letting the fish get some rest: Survivors ready --" -- you have no idea -- "-- go!" Our focus is on our longboat as we run down to the waterline: we've agreed to pay no attention to what Haraiki's doing until doing so means losing no time in the process: i.e. in the boat and rowing steadily. We can listen to them, we can listen to Jeff, and at this point in the game, I think it's a pretty safe assumption that we can listen to Robin, which gets backed as we're lifting our craft into the water. "Hey, this thing is heavy!" "I've got it!" Phillip tells her, and I'm guessing he just moved to help support her end. "Easy..." Wade further out -- I can hear splashing to my right: they're going in, too -- into the boat, grab an oar, start paddling. The first buoy is about sixty yards away: Gary's going in first. There's swimming goggles attached to the inner hull, next to my seat: all of us have a pair. Gardener's calling out the rhythm from his position at the front of the boat, and Trooper's steering: more summer experience coming into play. It sounds like Phillip's providing most of the power for Haraiki, and Tony's responsible for changes in direction. In at least two senses. "Tony! We need to go more to the left!" "I am going left!" Angela's starting to get frustrated, and no wonder: no one ever likes reruns of reality shows... "Your other left!" Gary laughs, and we keep paddling. It's an intensive effort and the only times I've done anything like it were our trips on the raft, but it's easy to stay locked in the rhythm -- and the group effort is really coming along. Jeff's noticed. "Turare working in concert! Haraiki needing to get their act together!" An artful pause. "Tony really has to label his shoes!" Which nearly takes Mary-Jane out of the rhythm with a giggle fit and sends us on a slight lurch to the right. "Turare approaching their first buoy!" Gary, sitting two spaces in front of me, swings around until he's sitting on the edge of the boat, grabs his goggles, puts them on, and flips over the side frogman style: the outer supports are far enough away to make cracking his head into them a non-issue. We put the brakes on as best we can -- we can't ask anyone to catch up to us -- and wait. Ten-count, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty -- he's getting near his limit, and Jeff told us Connie went in at the thirty-mark -- -- Gary surfaces at seventy-two, gasping for air. He spends a few seconds clinging to the side of the boat, wheezing in faint gasps of oxygen until Gardener and Mary-Jane move to take custody of the box -- about a foot cubic, tucked under one arm -- and haul him into the boat. He's still panting as he takes his seat and recovers the paddle. "The fastening -- it's not simple," he barely manages. "You've really got to work it..." Gardener tells him to save his breath, but now we know -- and we also just found out that Connie's manual dexterity, breath holding capacity, or both just aren't as good as Gary's. "Connie going down for her second attempt!" Jeff announces, and we're on our way to the second buoy. About halfway along, I risk a glance at Haraiki and find Phillip helping Connie into the boat, their first box sitting on her seat. Back to forward, and I get ready: I'm up next. We start to glide in, and I don the goggles. One of the camera operators on our accompanying boat focuses on me -- Jake. He's with the challenge staff for this one, but he has to play it straight or they'll scream at him for messing up a vital shot. For my part, I'm not going to try the flip: unlike Gary, I've never gotten the chance to practice it in the secret agent academy. I just ease over the side, drop into the water, let momentum and gravity do the first part of the work... ...silence. It's so quiet here. The light is distorted: everything tilts slightly towards the blue, and there's a brilliantly-scaled yellow and green fish right in front of me, twice the size of my hand and regarding me through lidless eyes for a split-second before darting away. There are two camera operators in scuba gear below me, filming my entrance and swim down to the box, which I have a good view of: there's two fabric-slider clasps holding it down -- and the cloth has probably expanded from soaking up water: that's why Gary had trouble! I push my way down: it's only about fifteen feet. The box is nestled on top of a pile of ocean rocks. There's a little cave off to the right, and -- -- another eye, a far more intelligent-seeming one, peeks out at me before a tentacle snakes out, grabs another rock, and pulls it in front of the entrance. The octopus wants no part of this. The moment feels ever so slightly wondrous: I have just seen a creature other than a human being use a tool to accomplish its ends. We keep looking for company among the stars, and we forget that it may be working its way towards us at home... I reach the box. The camera operators float nearby, filming as I reorient, getting my feet against the rocks as I kneel down: I'll need the push going up. The fabric feels thick under my fingers, and there's very little room to work with against the clasps. It takes a lot of slow, careful pulling to get the first one open, and now my lungs are starting to ask me what I think I'm doing down here. This isn't my environment, my species is not supposed to exist in this place, and I've got a lot of nerve trying to pay anything close to an extended visit. The second clasp wavers in my vision as I start sliding the fabric, but I am not going back up for more air, there's all the air in the world up there and whatever portion of it I'm entitled to try for can wait, we've got a lead and making two trips means losing some of it, the sudden tightness in my ribs can be put on hold because that fabric is moving, the closer of the camera operators just went wide-eyed and he's reaching for something on his belt that's attached to his air tanks -- -- no! I shake my head, burning more oxygen in the process. I'm okay, I don't need a rescue breather! There will be no Ostening in this ocean! I've almost got the clasp open: just a little farther -- if only this fabric will stop sticking at the draw -- if I can just force it through, just a little bit more, just a little as the tightness increases and the clasp does a six-inch jump to the right -- -- got it! Grab the box and push, kick, kick with nothing left, pretend there's something, there's got to be tidal air at the bottom of my lungs and it's time the stuff started paying rent, it's only ten feet to make my head break the surface, that's not so far at all even if the light's fading out for some reason and my legs don't seem to be reporting in very well, maybe Jeff can say something about how my legs are doing, it's not as if any detail is too insignificant for him not to call out eventually, maybe we'll have a special Reward where the winner gets their very own set of detachable gills, and why is everything so dark -- "-- I've got her!" A strong grip on my right arm, a weaker one on my left, and I want to say something about it, tell them to let go, but I can't seem to get any words out. Giving words means surrendering air, and I want the air. I want to breathe it and I want to keep doing it to the exclusion of all other activities, because nothing else is even remotely as important right now. "Come on, lift --" I scrape up against the side as they move me, but it barely registers. Someone eases me onto the seat, slides the oar into my hands, where it nearly slips away -- -- no. I've got it. I've had enough breaths to consider giving a little attention to holding something. Maybe I can even try talking. "Fabric clasps..." Yes, that worked, even if it came out as a barely-comprehensible gasp. "The water -- they're swollen -- hard to slide..." "Gary told us while you were under," Trooper lets me know -- then "Christ, Alex, don't do that! Just come up for air and go down again -- we've got the lead, and we'll pick up time again when I dive!" Mary-Jane's glancing back at me, her face somehow pale despite the tan: hers was the other arm pulling me in. "Do you have any idea how long you were down there?" I manage a head shake. "It felt like two minutes! If you were having that much trouble, you should have come back up! You could have drowned!" Maybe I can try using the oar. Yes, that's working. The water is being pushed aside in some direction or another, and that's the whole idea, right? "They had -- rescue breathers..." "Which you refused," Trooper reminds me, and it's halfway to a snarl: not anger, but frustration. "The water was clear enough to see everything -- I was two seconds away from coming in after you -- Mary-Jane..." We're approaching the third buoy. "I won't do anything stupid," she assures him, and gives me an oddly hard look before grabbing her goggles. A few heartbeats later, she's over the side in the second frogman flip of the day. Maybe it's another modeling-related skill. Gardener and Gary use the time for their own criticisms, with Gardener going first. "I am not going back to a daylight Council for the formality of voting out a corpse." It's amazing how well a little fresh air works to cure ills: good thing no medical company's thought to charge for it. "I'm fine." I turn around to check our position in the race: Haraiki is about three-quarters of a buoy gap back. "And we're still ahead." For the first time, Gary's voice is harsh. "You were stupid." I blink. "Your life is more important than a game. Stubbornness only goes so far, and then it turns into idiocy. As soon as you knew you were in serious trouble, you should have come back up." I glare at him. "You stayed under to your limit!" I tell him. "What's wrong with me doing the same?" "I had one clasp!" he shouts. "Mary-Jane's probably going to have three! This thing is getting harder as it goes along! She knows to come back up and make as many attempts as she has to! Sure, you picked up a few seconds because Robin had to go twice -- but we would have lost a hell of a lot more than one dinner if you'd stayed down there any longer! We would have lost you!" And, completely fed up, I yell right back with "So what?" Everyone goes silent. We've even caught Jeff in a moment of downtime. "So -- what?" Gary slowly repeats, his voice trying to work through words he doesn't understand. "I got the box," I tell him more softly. It's resting on my seat: presumably Trooper or Mary-Jane brought it in. "We're ahead, and I'm okay. We have to focus on the challenge. And if I got medivaced for inhaling water, I would have been back in a few hours, tops." True. It's not the sort of thing that takes you out for a day, much less removes you from the game. "We've got the lead -- we're fine." Mary-Jane's head breaks the surface, and she takes a few deep breaths before picking one to hold and going back under. Haraiki approaches the third buoy as Jeff calls out the possibly catch-up in progress. Finally, Gary says "All right," while sounding as if he doesn't believe it. "You're fine. I'm sorry for getting angry -- you had us scared, and it got twisted." Trooper sighs. "Alex, you scared the hell out of us..." Gardener's just looking at me. No more comments, no expression. Just -- looking. Is there a word that'll end this? Yes. "Sorry." And that's the one. "It won't happen again." Which breaks Gardener's silence with a snort. "Damn right it won't. There's no way the next one will be water, and if you see the ones after that, you'll just be fighting for yourself and you can drown all you like just as soon as we've got the numbers wrapped up..." Somehow, that statement actually feels reassuring. We're back to normal, and Jeff confirms it with a cry of "Angela going in!" If we can just keep our lead... given how much she talks on a single breath, she probably has an incredible lung capacity...
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{Oh, they want this one. Haraiki really wants this one. They haven't even had rice since the first downpour ruined their little supply, and the fish just recently started to arrive -- they could use a good meal. Their weight loss isn't horrible because they've basically been gorging on fruit, but there's things they're missing nutritionally.} {Desmond sitting out. Not exactly a shock, but it puts him in play for Immunity, and they may wind up regretting it.} {And they're off!} {The first possibility for 'boing' just failed: Alex's swimsuit didn't break...} {Looks like they're about even for rowing ability -- at this point, the tribes are just about a fair physical match if you're adding them all together. Turare with a slight lead, Tony screwing up the steering, and Jeff with an all-time line...} {Dear Angela. Your boyfriend is an idiot. Please consider switching your showmance to Jeff. He may be getting tired of Julie and there's a tiny chance you're his type. Sincerely, Everybody.} {Gary down, Connie down -- fabric clasps with the water soaked in, they're both having trouble, Gary making progress...} {Gary's up first, but he's tired. Connie comes up for air and goes right back down again. Turare on the way to Box #2, Connie comes up with hers...} {Alex down -- hey, we've finally got an animal shot of sorts that isn't Azure! Look at the shy octopus!} {Two clasps this time? Bets the anchor position gets five?} {No bet. I don't care to get cider in my eye.} {Robin in -- Alex staying down... staying down... timer on the screen... oh, hell...} {She did not just refuse assistance!} {Damn it, Alex, come up, I've been a lifeguard for twelve years and I can see what's happening...} {She's got it! Mary-Jane and Trooper are bringing her into the boat!} {What a lousy, stinking time for a camera cut -- there was a second where I thought the next shot was going to be the camera divers bringing her body up for CPR...} {And in the middle of the challenge, we pause for a well-earned reaming. Not quitting is one thing: almost dying is just stupid. Well done, Gary -- huh?} {'So what'? What the hell does she mean, 'so what'? You cannot be that dedicated to the victory of a tribe that's going to dump you off next!} {She's got a fair point... it wouldn't have been that bad, just a fast emptying of her lungs and back in time for Immunity. And that's worst-case: the crew followed her up with the breather, so as soon as her mouth opened, it was going in. The equipment was on standby and ready to roll.} {True. But something about what she said is bothering me. I can't put a finger on it, but...} {Meanwhile, Robin's finished, off to the third station. Mary-Jane takes three trips, Angela makes two -- Haraiki's caught up a bit, and Turare's lead is narrow. Looks like Gardener and Phillip for the next station. I understand this choice -- the biggest men need the most oxygen to power their body mass, but they can also rip those clasps apart. You don't want them on the last station because they might pull an Alex, but they should be okay for the fourth.} {Okay, before this gets too far, let's get the formal definition of 'pulling an Alex' on the record.} {Risking yourself beyond your body's capabilities. Everyone agreed on that?} {Dictionary: locked in.} {Three trips for Gardener, four for Phillip, Turare pulling away again, Haraiki finding extra energy somewhere and rowing faster, Tony's finally figured out the concept of 'left', and there go Trooper and Tony.} {Wow -- look at Trooper! He can really hold his breath -- they just put the timer on the screen, and he's been under for over two minutes with no signs of oxygen deprivation! Shots of Turare staring down, and Alex asks if they want to go after him -- with that deadpan, I can't tell if it's worry or sarcasm -- but Gardener reminds her of what Trooper said on the mat: he's run enough tear gas drills to stay down there pretty much as long as he likes.} {Compare that to Tony, who's up twice and down for the third time before Trooper surfaces once at the 2:36 mark...} {Five clasps open for Turare, and they're heading back to the beach. Camera focus on Trooper, who looks like that took about as much effort as using a rocking chair. He is going to be deadly in endurance contests.} {Tony finally brings up the box, Turare about a buoy and a half ahead, heading for the beach...}
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...and out of the boat, heading for the mat with my box: we can open them as soon as we're there. Trooper takes the lead, sprinting up the sand, with Gary trailing at the rear. I'm trying not to glance back at the ocean, and I don't really have to: Jeff calls out the opposition's status with "Haraiki approaching the beach!" and that could mean two buoys back or one or six inches, but they're definitely on the approach. Trooper reaches the mat, pulls hard against the watertight seal -- and says something that'll never reach the screen. A heartbeat later, I get to see why as he pulls out something that isn't flat. This is a three-dimensional puzzle: Trooper's holding a piece of wood, all angles and strange bends, that's going to have to interlock with another piece of wood -- and there's the second one, just as bad, we need more to look at... Everyone catches up. Gardener puts himself on box-opening duty, and tosses the pieces in front of me as he gets them. I'm kneeling on the mat and staring, desperately trying to make the spacial relationships slide into each other in my mind. What is this? They're too tall and narrow to be forming a cube, and that weird curve at the back of the latest piece -- little hollow oval under the next one with a J-shape inside it -- -- got it! "It's a rifle!" I urgently whisper. "Long barrel, stock, trigger!" Trooper's eyes light up: he sees it too. Gardener drops down next to me, the tree falling where someone can hear it, making plenty of sound. "Can you do it?" "Yes." No question: now that I know what it all adds up to, I'm starting to see where the parts of the equation go. "Let me work..." I'm already grabbing pieces. "It'll be faster if I assemble it than if I direct you." Gardener nods and Mary-Jane, watching with visible fascination, says "All yours, Alex." Okay. These two make the stock. Orient the grip that way. This is the sight, so that's going on top. Front of the barrel -- this is really cunning stuff: a little squared-off and blocky because of all the bends, and you have to slide the pieces together just right before they'll interlock at all... The trigger, this thing's a double-barrel, get it mounted on the base, the angle's tricky, but I've got time, Jeff just said "Haraiki trying to figure out what they're working on!" and that sounds like no progress at all, just a little turn to get around this jut, come in from the left, slide and -- -- I stand up, the completed wooden rifle in my hands. "Jeff!" We need a completely prefunctionary check before the official word can come -- -- and on her perch, Azure goes insane. "Go! Go!" she cries, and for the first time, she's pulling at the leash, tugging with all her strength. Nothing's happening: it won't give, and she tries to fly with the perch, getting nowhere. A quick attempt to bite at the strap: nothing... "Go! Go!" We're all frozen, even Jeff can't find words for this, Haraiki has stopped working on their puzzle, no one's moving -- except for Azure's supervisor, who's desperately trying to free the perch end of the leash before she drags the whole thing over, fingers fumbling at the plastic -- -- it comes loose, and Azure dives for me, pulling up just in time to make a smooth landing on my left forearm, where she gazes up at me with what feels for all the world like excitement mixed with adoration. "Go!" And then nothing except the happy shifting in place of a child waiting, knowing their turn on the swing is but seconds away. Jeff finally breaks the silence by using what he knows best. "Turare! Wins Reward!" And that partially does it: Mary-Jane applauds -- only twice -- Trooper manages a laugh, Gardener stops staring at Azure, and Gary finally takes another breath. From his position in the waiting area, Desmond watches us with stunned eyes, not sure what he's seeing. It's worse on Haraiki, which is dealing with both their loss and the shock of the event combined, with no idea what's going on... I don't know what's going on. "Azure?" She looks up at me, but there's no other response. "Go where?" Silence. Gardener takes a slow breath. "What the hell is going on here...?" "I know," Gary says. And we all turn to him, waiting for the words that will explain all of this, turn things back into a game with rules and strategies and twists that don't involve heart-stopping moments where the world quits making sense -- -- but then Jeff cuts him off. "Turare, your Reward will be delivered to you before sunset." Because that's how he's restoring order to his world. "Haraiki, for the fifth time in six tries, you're getting nothing that you could win on your own. You'd better find a way to make this work, or the rest of this game is going to be very difficult for you." The merge approaches on cat feet... "Both tribes, clear out. I'll see you tomorrow. Turare, enjoy your dinner -- and let me know how the sauce works out." A grin. "It's my own recipe." Desmond laughs at that, and we leave with nearly indecent haste. As soon as we're off the beach and back on our trail, Gary will be free to talk -- and I'm very curious to hear what he has to say.
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Estee 44384 desperate attention whore postings
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08-18-06, 07:30 PM (EST)
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3. "I'll Go Pack: Part IV" |
LAST EDITED ON 08-27-06 AT 09:44 PM (EST){This is how we know if the Immunity challenge is rigged to get Alex through: if there's any sort of puzzle involved, Burnett is trying to keep her around. This is amazing. It's the second time we've seen her practically go idiot savant on us, and once again, the others are just letting her work...} {While Haraiki has a collective 'WTF?' brain freeze. Gee, look at all these pieces of wood. I wonder if they're supposed to make something?} {Is she allowed to say 'WTF' here? I thought there were rules!} {WTF do you think? Yes.} {Alex goes for Jeff's confirmation, and -- okay, WTF? Or, in case some of you missed what I'm trying to say here, What. The. ####?} {...huh?} {Oh, great. And right back into the Twilight Zone we go. Just when it looked like we were finally going to take some of the restraints off the Bashers people.} {Gary has an idea, but Jeff just has to wrap up this challenge, get his own upcoming product line established, and send us to commercial, because that's so much more important than letting us know what might be going on...} {Don't worry. Gary will probably explain it all to us after the break. Unless EPMB is being an ultra-P this episode.} {Um... yeah. In this case, those first two letters are probably all the clue we need...}
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Trooper's the one who starts it off, and does so while his right foot is still on the beach sand. "Okay, Gary -- I've got to hear this. What happened there?" Azure and I are two people back: our marching order is Desmond, Trooper, Mary-Jane, me, Gary, and Gardener bringing up the rear, presumably so he can keep an eye on the entire conversation. "Because right now, I'm going to sleep a whole lot better if I have any idea what's going on." Gary sighs, very softly. "It's simple. Gardener had it from the start." "Me?" There may actually be the tiniest touch of confusion in Gardener's voice, but the bluster is doing a good job of covering it. "Hell, I'll be glad to take credit for it, but I'd like to know what I figured out." "You said she rested like a falcon," Gary reminds him. "And that's it exactly. She went along on the hunts. That's why she's so eager to accompany us when we leave in groups -- there must have been times when the billionaire went out with friends or servants as support staff, and when she sees people heading down the trails in large numbers -- with Alex in the middle of it -- she wants to come along, because it's excursion time." Judging from the sheer number of lenses currently pointed at him, Gary is now guaranteed screen presence for this cycle. "Remember the key here: Alex is the master. She's the one Azure imprinted on. Azure's established a pecking order --" I turn back just in time to see him grin "-- and Alex is at the head of it. If the rest of us left camp without her, I'm betting nothing would happen. But if Alex goes out with all of us, it looks like a hunt, and Azure has to come along. If Alex is holding a rifle..." "Son of a bitch," Desmond breathes. "It's like holding up a stick in front of an old dog, isn't it? Doesn't matter what's going on or why you picked it up, it's got to be fetch." We've all stopped in the middle of the trail now, listening. Gary nods. "Exactly. Every time the billionaire went out to hunt something, Azure took a ride. I'd bet just about anything she's not scared of gunfire, and don't ask me how you train that into a bird." I look at Azure, still using my arm as a perch. She looks back at me, perfectly calm -- the excitement diminished as we made our way out of camp, and she seems to be waiting for something to happen. I'm not sure what. Gunfire, maybe. "She probably calmed down because Alex dropped the puzzle on the mat before we left. Trigger gone, response gone." Mary-Jane isn't happy about this. "So she just came with him and saw all those animals die?" More quietly, "And maybe -- people?" Trooper sighs. "No evidence, innocent until proven guilty... But that makes sense. She was his personal pet. No one on the staff: his. And she went with him wherever he went. A parrot that sits like a falcon..." His forehead briefly creases, and he looks directly at -- and speaks to -- Azure. "I know you'd make the world's worst witness for any jury, but I wish I could get you to testify." No response. It sounds right, and I say so. "So words associated with hunting might get responses from her." "Probably," Gardener agrees. "But if they do, you might be the one who has to say them. Nothing happened when Gary said 'rifle'. That scene on the beach was reacting to Desmond's stick, though -- finding words should be easier than picking out actions." I try a few. "Hunt." Nothing. "Rifle." No. "Gun?" Not so much as a blink. "I don't know, guys... she's responded to things other people have said before -- Jeff and Connie, remember?" Desmond looks a little disgruntled. "I just wanted the thing worked out: I don't want to stay here for the rest of the day playing word association games like that stupid psych test they gave us for the evaluation... if you're gonna play with her, do it at camp, Alex." Okay, fine. "Let's get back. I can hear that pork calling my name." "It's hours off," Mary-Jane reminds him. "Sunset, remember?" And now he looks really disgruntled. "Yeah, right -- let's just get moving. I've got some serious business of skipping lunch to do -- I want the room." Gardener's equally miffed, but for a different reason. "I want colder water. Maybe I can't get ice, but if I could seal the cooler bag and put it at the bottom of the lake -- no fish, no scavengers who'd go into the water -- but it's not cold enough to keep leftovers." "We should get ice with the soda," I point out. "If we transfer it fast enough, we should be okay for at least breakfast." Gardener nods. "Makes sense -- we'll do that." Desmond starts walking again, and after a moment, the rest of us follow. "Damn, I'm looking forward to this," Gardener adds. "I haven't had good roast pork in months. Audrey does a hell of a barbecue -- she's got family in Cincy -- but --" The forced stop is perfectly audible. "No one here's a veggie, right? Speak up if you are: I want to know if I'm getting a double-serving of the good stuff." Mary-Jane laughs. "No chance here, Gardener. I'm digging in and I don't care how bad I look with sauce running down my chin." "Carnivore," Desmond reports. "I've got the incisors and I intend to use 'em." "Vegetarian?" Trooper considers. "Yeah. Right. And this is actually a sunburn." Which gets a laugh out of Gary and Mary-Jane. Of course, Gary just has to top it. "Sure, I've been on soy and bean sprouts all my life. Also, my hair is the result of a severe electrical shock as a child." I shrug. "What does it taste like?" Which pulls everyone up short, and sends Mary-Jane into a turn so her wide-eyed stare can find the required target. "You're not going to tell me you've never eaten meat!" Huh? Gardener breaks into that. "She had the sweetbreads a few days ago, if you want to count it." "No." I'd better clear this up fast. "I've just never had barbecue." The group shock level diminishes slightly. From behind, Gary says "Orphanages probably aren't that good at fulfilling the basic culinary experiences of life... It's probably going to be pretty spicy, Alex, but they'll be halfway subtle if it's done right. Tomato, molasses, and brown sugar base for the sauce, if Jeff mixed up the classic version. The meat should just fall off the bone." It sounds weird. Molasses? Isn't that some kind of really thick syrup? "Well, I'll try it -- it's not as if any of us should be passing up food out here, especially Reward food." "I'll just cross my fingers on your hating it," Gardener decides, and then displays them. "More for me..."
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{And we're back, and because EPMB must live up to the full compliment of his initials, we're with Haraiki as they walk back to camp. They could not be more depressed about this loss, and Phillip can't even cheer them up by inviting them all to visit his home, where he'll give them the freshest barbecue they ever ate with his own homemade sauce. Pig guaranteed killed four hours before the actual meal. Connie asks the others if they believe the producers are throwing challenges to Turare now -- they knew puzzles were Alex's strength after the blindfold challenge, and here's another one! Angela's a little dubious and reminds them there's usually several puzzle challenges in a season, or at least challenges with puzzles as an aspect -- it's a miracle they haven't had to slide tiles to free a hunting knife yet -- but even so, she's not exactly happy about the timing of this one. Tony points out that at least she got fried chicken six days ago. Judging by Angela's expression, it looks like another lover's spat tonight.} {Speculation on what happened with Azure -- Connie disdainfully proposes that the bird is possessed -- and that's our cue to switch! Come on, Gary -- let's hear it!} {...all right, that makes sense...} {It does. So now we know three things. 1. Azure used to belong to the billionaire. 2. She's been trained to come along on hunts. 3. Gary is smarter than we believed. The editing thread is going to be patting its own back for the next week.} {So is that the end of Azure's story arc, or are we going to see some more surprises out of this bird?} {Given that we've never had a story arc for a non-human, I think we're in trouble for precedent. But maybe we'll see an entry for her on the next editing post. Hell, the crew got one, and Burnett's been treating them as less than human for years...} {Can we get an official religious ruling on the possession theory?} {Sorry -- working on loneliness theory starter post.} {Well, that explains the quiet... but you might want to note that Alex would also be lonely for barbecue. I can't believe she's never had any. Don't they have any restaurants in New Jersey?} {Check out the 'I met' thread in Fanatics -- she probably can't afford them.} {Time lapse, and it's dinnertime at Turare! Look at this spread! Great, now I'm hungry... that's got to be eighteen ears of corn, there's a huge pot full of mashed potatoes, and meat for days, plus it looks like Coke just joined the sponsorship parade...} {Everyone digging in, and here come the usual 'We are about to eat like it's our last day on Earth' shots. Someone explain to me how Gardener lost the gross food heat against Tony? That's his second pulled pork sandwich in under two minutes.} {Alex goes for the corn and potatoes first, looks a little doubtful about trying the meat, but finally gives in after Gary reminds her of what she said on the trail. She eats quietly and thoughtfully, then tells him it's good. Not that you could tell. She might as well be back on the sweetbreads.} {Loading up the cooler bag with ice, trying to store some for tomorrow morning -- sensible. In confessional, Gardener says it's his responsibility to make sure the resources stretch as far as possible -- then pauses and adds "And that includes certain players." Huh? Huh?} {Contestants as resources. He came to play, people. That is not in doubt.} {And in case we haven't established Alex's 'slightly outside the rest of the universe' position in this episode yet, let's have one more try. Trooper notices she's drinking boiled water and asks why she hasn't had a Coke. Guess what? She doesn't know what that tastes like either, because Alex has never had a Coke. No one can believe this, and they pressure her on it. She's sure of her answer: never. Mary-Jane asks her if she likes another brand, which gets bleeped out in the name of promotional comedy: no, we can't bring up the competition! Alex changes her answer, but only slightly: she's never had soda. Ever. Well, seltzer once if that counts, but it was 'buy this, get a bottle free'. Everyone wants to know why, and she says she usually just drinks filtered water, and sometimes fruit juice if it's really on sale. In confessional, which looks like it was filmed the next day, she just adds "Soda is expensive and caffeine is addictive. I can't afford to start now." Okay, that's one thing as an adult living on a limited budget, even for a really pressured definition of 'expensive', but she never had soda once as a kid? How?} {And speaking of pressure, everyone else in the tribe is trying to get her to try her First Coke Ever -- and trying, and trying -- but she just keeps shaking her head and saying she doesn't want to get started, and then adds an excuse: what if it leads to dental work? And we can take it on faith that if she can't afford soda, cavities are outside her budget... No Coke for Cole, but we can rest assured that Alex will get a thank-you note from the American Dental Association in the morning. She will, however, have another pork chop. Looks like Jeff's Secret Sauce is a hit.} {We switch back and forth between nighttime discussions at both tribes, and they're on the same subject: Immunity. Haraiki desperate for the tie, Turare determined to get the majority. Everyone's wondering what the competition is going to be. Gardener and Phillip are on the same wavelength: something physical, and possibly entirely physical. Connie just echoed us: if the next one is a puzzle, then the game is rigged. Counter this with Mary-Jane: if the next one is a puzzle, then they're golden. Alex doesn't think there's any way they can see two puzzle elements in a row. Trooper thinks the only certainty is that it won't be a 'where do you stand?' challenge. Robin's wondering if they'll find a way to work that in.} {Commercials, because with this extended format, they can pretty much place them wherever they want to, and here's Coca-Cola getting an ad in with 'Everyone's Life Should Include Coke.' Oops. Think they knew about that little scene with Alex before they signed on? Burnett will not be getting a thank-you note in the morning...} {We're back, and judging by the sun in that shot, this is about halfway along through the afternoon. Robin gets the poem all to herself, and here it is. "If all cross, all stay, and numbers stay intact. If one falls, all fall, and a member you will lack." I didn't think this was possible, but they're actually getting worse.} {'All fall'?} {I think I've got it. We're about to see the return of Jeff's favorite challenge accessory...}
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Trooper finishes reading the poem, wincing as he hits the horrible pseudo-rhyme on the last word. "Any ideas?" Gardener ponders. "Well, we're moving together..." One finger idly moves through a random pattern on the tabletop. "I think we're going to be roped. One of those things where the weakest link will slow you down." The mandatory look at me. I give it right back to him. "And if it's through an obstacle course with narrow gaps, you're the weakest link." No one else on the tribe is as wide as Gardener. "Phillip will give Haraiki the same kind of trouble, but we'll have to work past you." Pause. "Of course, sit-outs are a part of strategy..." Gardener actually groans a little. "Fine, you've got a point. If it's squeezing in and around loops, I'll be the one who sits out of this one. The rest of you can play that trick a lot more easily than I can. Happy? No, wait, forget I said that -- I've never seen you happy: I have no idea what it would look like..." "I don't like the word 'fall' in there," Desmond says, eager to show off any of the insight he's picked up from actually being in the game. "I think we're going to be working around things that'll trip and tangle us." "What about a more literal fall?" Mary-Jane proposes. "What if we're roped together and we're moving across a balance beam? One goes down, we all go down..." Gary shakes his head. "No way. That's an injury waiting to happen, because that's the other problem with being a big guy, Gardener: whoever you go down on top of is probably out of the game. There's no chance they'd risk that happening in the middle of a challenge." Everyone agrees with that, and this includes me. With Gardener on our side and Phillip on theirs, both tribes would be just about guaranteed broken bones somewhere in the first group pile-up just from the amount of weight involved in the landing. The challenge staff is not going to be stupid enough to take that kind of risk. For this, if nothing else, we're safe. It takes exactly one step onto Challenge Beach to find out it's Gary's turn to be one hundred percent dead wrong. "Oh, no..." Mary-Jane moans, and the others aren't far behind her. I'm staring at the course, hoping very hard that this is just a nightmare induced by an mild excess of pork consumption, but I'd thought I'd actually taken it fairly easy on the food, I didn't want to have stomach cramps all night, it didn't matter because we've been getting enough to keep our stomachs from shrinking and no one had any problems at all, but -- -- and I'm trying not to think about the challenge, and I'd better start thinking about it soon, because if there's a way around it, I'll have to find it... "Come in on, Haraiki!" Jeff interrupts: there's only so much time he can spend enjoying the steadily increasing worry on Trooper's face before he has to think about the production schedule. They enter. They look. Their expressions collapse as quickly as Desmond's did. This is the sort of challenge anyone can figure out on first sight, and that means the camera will probably be hiding it from the audience until Jeff finishes explaining it to us, giving both tribes every detail of the doom we've already figured out for ourselves. "Okay, Alex -- back to me." Production makes me detour to hand over Azure, I try not to move as shakily as I feel and succeed -- but it's hard to let go of the spear. I'm not sure I'm going to be seeing it again. Ever. And there's a good chance I'm going to be right, because Jeff continues with "Immunity -- back up for grabs for the last time in the tribal stage." There it is. "The loser of today's challenge will be voting out the final victim before the merger. Tomorrow, they'll go on their hunt and then send someone home. The day after that, both camps will receive clues for one active idol each -- and then you'll merge." Slowly, "You're that close. Think about what that means. You've all fought hard to get this far in the game, and the ultimate chance to control your own fates is coming up. Two more days, and you'll have more influence over your destiny than any contestants in any season before you. But you have to earn those days -- and that brings us to today's challenge." Jeff points at the course. "Take a look around." We do. What we're looking at is two separate series of five slightly elevated deer blinds, their floors three feet above the sand, with a small staircase going up to each. They're connected at floor level by wooden beams forty feet long. The widths vary: what has to be the starting blind has a ten-inch wide beam, and the one going to the final station is about three inches across. "Your tribe will start the challenge chained together at your waists." Robin groans, with Mary-Jane about a half-second behind her, and Connie coming in on top of that. "You'll go up into the first deer blind, then walk across the beam to the second one, where you'll find a key that will allow you to unlock one person from the chains. After that, you'll cross to the next blind, unlock someone else -- until you all go into the final station as individuals, no longer bound by group constraints. The first tribe to get all its members into the final station wins Immunity." The pause is to let us continue working on the internal horror. "Now, if one of you goes down when you're crossing as a group, all of you are going to go down. Everyone still in the chain will have to start that beam over. You do not have to redo the entire course: just go back to the starting hut for that beam and begin again. People who are detached can get ahead if they have the speed and continue through the course without having to wait for their tribemates at the blinds." But the challenge won't end until everyone hits the last station -- our weakest links will still slow us down... "And you cannot sit on the beam and inch along: you have to cross upright and on your feet. Does everyone understand the challenge?" Somehow, I just knew it was going to be Robin -- but only because she beat the rest of us by a heartbeat. "Are you going to put any padded mats below the beams?" Jeff shakes his head. "It's just a three-foot drop. If you feel it coming, you should be able to land pretty well." I go right for the crucial one. "How much play on the chains?" And we all get to exhale, but only a little: "Two and a half feet -- and they have to stay fairly taunt: no inching along with hands on each other's shoulders." Jeff looks at me. "That way, any fall will pull the rest of you off -- but there should be enough distance that you won't automatically hit each other. It's a possibility, though -- consider that when you position your people." Translation: place your largest tribe members in the places they're least likely to crush everyone else. And I know he doesn't literally mean my people. Angela's found another one. "Let's say Robin falls --" unlikely, she has the steadiest balance of anyone, with the worst being -- oh, no... "-- and Phillip's right behind her and planted. Robin goes off, Phillip doesn't fall behind her. Can he pick her up by the chain, put her back on the beam, and just keep going from there?" For the second challenge in a row, Angela's found a good one -- but I think the poem already gave us the answer. Jeff confirms it with another negation. "If one of you goes down, anyone left in the group goes down. If you don't fall, you have to jump. And you can't try to catch someone before they go off at all. You can't save each other." More slowly, "Not any more. Next?" There isn't one. "Turare, you still have one extra member, so someone is sitting this out -- and it can't be Desmond." And here we go. If the stilts were any indication, Desmond may have the worst balance of any of us. He never ran the beam in the sniper course, so maybe he'll be a little better here than he was for the gallows -- but somehow, I can't seem to make myself believe that. Desmond might have been the perfect sit-out for this challenge, and he's going to be right there with us... "Work it out." We huddle -- and Gardener's first words are the worst ones I could possibly hear. "Alex, you're out." "What?" I stare at him -- and if ever there was a time to get angry, this is it. "I can deal with the beams! Remember the sniper run? I didn't go off once! And that beam was four inches wide! Only the last two are that narrow or worse -- and you were in the middle of going off for the second time when Tony crossed the finish line! You've got more mass on either side of the support than anyone: if you lean too much --!" And he cuts me off. "Maybe you were fine for a short run, but --" Right back at him. "No. I'm not the weak link here! You're big and you're strong, but you're also carrying more weight than anyone, and you do not have the world's smallest feet! All you have to do is tilt once in the early stages and everyone attached to you goes right off!" His eyes had better open a little: locking in to the tiny gaps which reveal his pupils is making me even more exasperated... "The one we should be sitting out is Desmond, but we can't!" I don't have to imagine Desmond's unhappiness about this statement: I can see it out of the corner of my right eye. There's a lot of it. "Size is a liability here -- so you're out!" I'm pretty sure Haraiki heard that. I know the cameras shot it. I think they're going to use it... "I," Gardener half-hisses from between his teeth, "am a trained athlete." "You," I respond the same way, not backing off an inch, "are an anchor. All we need is for you to be wrong once. And Desmond's probably going to go off two or three times anyway, you're not allowed to lift him back up -- and even if you could try to hang onto him when he goes to one side, it could still send you off, strength or not! There isn't enough room to brace yourself! If Desmond's in and we can't do anything about it, then we have to dump the next-weakest -- and that's you." None of the others are saying a word, not even Desmond in his own defense. They're letting us have it out, right here, right now. The crew is probably wishing for popcorn. "If size is a liability --" Gardener starts as his eyes go down -- "Don't even think about finishing that." I think I just growled... "I know what I can do. I've got a pretty good idea what you can do. You can fall on top of me six times. It's not going to happen." "And what makes you think you can make that decision?" And now his eyes are all the way open, flashing... "The last time I checked," I tell him, "this was a democracy. We vote. We vote for whether to give out a Reward to the other tribe, we vote people out of the game, and we're voting on this." I don't break the lock, not yet. "Show of hands: who thinks Gardener should be sitting out of this one?" And then I look, even as I'm raising my left hand. Mary-Jane's goes up. Nothing from Desmond, naturally, I just insulted him horribly and I'll have to find a way to apologize later. And then -- Trooper and Gary, at the same time. Back to Gardener. "Four to two. You're sitting out." He stares at me again, and there's a second where I can see the anger starting to war with confusion -- and then something else comes in, something new which I don't recognize, not on his face... "Okay -- fine." He shakes his head. "The tribe has spoken. I'm sitting. What's your damn strategy for the rest of it?" Did he just -- surrender? No, Gardener is not the type who backs down completely. He's giving up on this battle so he can win the war by voting me out tomorrow if we lose, or just as soon as possible if we win. If anything, I just guaranteed that he's not hauling me along to Final Two, but it isn't as if that was even a question worth asking to begin with. "I think we have to unhook Desmond first, and then work up the chain from weakest to strongest as we free people. The chain always crosses first after someone's out. That gives the freed person as many chances at the beam as they need without slowing the others down." Gardener nods. "Right. Freeing the fastest doesn't do a damn thing here to help the group -- it just leaves people waiting at the end. And keeping the slowest when you can't try to save them just means an increased chance of falling off." If he had feathers, they would be settling into place: as it is, the brush cut almost seems to be retreating into his scalp. "I've said it before, Alex --" "-- I know," I finish for him, not caring how he feels about it any more. "I'd better be right." I shake my head. "We may not win even if I am right. Strategy only brings you so far, and Jeff was too good about forbidding things we couldn't do. If there was any chance you could save one of us with a grab before we went over, you could still be in this: you might be an asset there -- except that none of us are strong enough to save you." "I remember the stilts," Gardener says, and that's maybe one decibel lower. "I'm out, okay? Tell Jeff so we can get this fiasco under way." Fine. I turn from the huddle. "Jeff?" There's a moment where he looks surprised at my taking the spokesperson role, and it's got to be acting again: most of the island heard that argument. "Gardener's out." That gets Angela's attention: she looks out of her tribe's huddle, surprise visible on her face. What are we doing? She'll find out... Jeff nods. "Gardener, take a seat." He does, the pissed expression returning and intensifying with every step towards the waiting area. "Figure out who's where in the chain, and we'll get started." We do. Desmond's at the back: there's no place where he won't slow us up if I'm right, I may have just made the worst call of the game, but if it somehow makes him rise to the occasion and that way, we can unlock him quickly. Mary-Jane will lead, I'm behind her, then Trooper, and next-to-finally Gary. Haraiki goes with a Robin-Tony-Angela-Connie-Phillip formation. Jeff signals the challenge staff, and the chains come out. They're black iron, oddly cool to the touch, attached to padded weight belts. The lock is snug against the loop where the chain attaches. "I don't like this," Gary mutters, loud enough for us to hear, too soft for Haraiki to pick it up. "I have a cultural dedication to not liking this..." Trooper's not exactly happy, either. "The first person who sings anything about chain gangs -- come to think of it, this is the first time I've been happy we lost Frank. No way he could have resisted that one." I don't want to think about that. We watched the recording just last night, and no matter how much better he said he was feeling, he looked so weak... "We just have to get through it." When all else fails, go with the cliches. "I'll try," Mary-Jane promises. "But you're right, Alex -- strategy only goes so far. We have to stay up." Open subtext: Or you're going down for the last time. I know. Desmond doesn't say a word. He hasn't said anything since I called him out on the perceived weakness. I hope I'm wrong, Desmond. I hope we beat this thing so I can go up to you afterwards and say something like 'Got you motivated, didn't it?' and see if anyone laughs, or just have extra days for an apology. I did my best within the rules as Jeff laid them down, and I can't find any loopholes in this one. But if I'm right, and this isn't enough to let us get past you... "Desmond?" He doesn't look at me. I hope he's listening. I hope he can listen. "I think I have a way you can cross without falling, but you have to follow my lead." And that's where I lose him.
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{And once again, welcome to the Season Of Pain. Imagine what's going to happen to the first person Phillip lands on top of.} {Merge right after the recap! Jeff just announced it in advance! Probably wants them to start thinking about how they're going to use the idols if they find them...} {Lots of questions there -- Jeff using the time to specifically limit strategies: no Vanuatu sit-and-inch-along.} {"You can't save each other.' Now there's an interesting one for the editing thread. I wonder if that was added in later?} {Turare sitting someone out -- and the Gardener/Alex alliance thread takes a huge hit!} {Ladies, gentlemen, and others, I present to you, for the first time on any stage, Alex Cole, enraged. It's just about as subtle as you'd think, except for that one near-growl. You can tell she's angry, she's raised her voice, and yes, her face is actually moving in unaccustomed ways, but it's not as if she grabbed Gardener by the ears, bashed his skull with a headbutt, and screamed 'Listen to me, you idiot! You're two hundred and eighty pounds of drag! Go away!'} {Wow. At least for one moment there, Gardener was just dethroned as tribe leader. The others just lined up behind Alex, except for Desmond -- and he's just upset that she nailed him for what he is: a challenge problem. How can they still be voting her out after this?} {In one magic word? Alliances.} {Turare finishes ruining the day of the G/A supporters -- go ahead, people, tell me that was public overacting, I could use the laugh -- and everyone gets chained together.} {Well, so much for Jeff's favorite accessory. I could have sworn this was going to be ropes.} {Jeff says his second favorite phrase after 'It's time for you to go', and they're going!} {At least Desmond didn't stumble going up the stairs to the first blind.} {Turare with a strategy: they're playing train. Chains taunt, inch along slowly, chugga-chugga-chugga! Not putting one foot in front of the other, just sliding the first forward and pulling the second up. They're trying to get Desmond to the second station without a fall while demonstrating his necessary technique, and then they can pick up speed once he's freed. It may not matter much -- they don't finish until he gets to the last station -- but at least he'll have a method he can resort to if he starts feeling unsteady on the smaller beams. It's letting Haraiki pull ahead, though.} {Haraiki first to the initial key, Phillip off the chain, and they're out. No falls yet. Turare in about twenty edited seconds behind them, Desmond off, and they're picking up speed on Haraiki.} {And as soon as he's off, Desmond stops doing the sensible thing and starts trying to move normally. Uh-oh.} {Robin doesn't even remotely have to look at where she's going, but she has to worry about the others -- there goes Tony! And there goes Gary at the same time! Both chains are off! Ow -- looks like Angela took a hit from her boyfriend, right into her back! I guess since he's been riding it unawares for so long, he subconsciously decided it was home...} {Phillip & Desmond trying to move along -- Desmond off the beam, waits for the chain to go past him before he tries again -- Desmond off the beam...} {I think we can save a lot of bandwidth by placing 'Ibid' on about fifty lines.} {This is sad. Does the man even have ear canals? Alex called it, but with the sit-out rule -- yeah, they would have been better off with Gardener up and Desmond down, but that's impossible. Alex hasn't been a problem so far for Turare, so she was right about that one, too: not a single slip. But Desmond... if he'd just kept doing what they'd all done on the first beam, Turare would have a chance...} {Ibid.} {Ibid.} {Geez. Ibid.} {Can we draw the curtain of mercy over this challenge, please?} {We can, but Burnett won't...} {And in the end, the main thing that came from Angela invoking the Pagonging in the last episode is that neither tribe is going to be able to do it immediately: Haraiki wins, and we are going to the merge at five-five. If the ultra-hidden, completely-impossible Alex/Connie alliance is going to strike, we'll see it soon.} {Jeff tells Turare to come down -- everyone except Desmond is in the last blind, Desmond is three beams back. Robin takes the Immunity Spear, and Haraiki leaves celebrating all the way. They have not stopped screaming since Phillip reached the last station -- they know that for at least one vote, strategy is going to mean more than numbers, and their automatic doom is gone. With the tie and the idols, anything could happen.} {Turare will be the special guest at Tribal Council tomorrow, someone will be going home, and Desmond angrily says "We already know who -- right, Alex?" and storms ahead of the others. Cute. Real cute. Admit to weaknesses much?} {Gardener looks at Alex, and before he can say or do anything, Alex just says "I'll go pack," giving us her first title quote -- and what's probably going to be her last. The Gardener/Alex alliance theory has gone to hell, Alex is going to Sequesterville, the Tarot card people are going into mourning, and we go to commercial.} {It'll be 4-2, or 5-1 if Mary-Jane decides not to make waves. The men are too solid...} {Well, Cole -- goodbye. I hope you find the right faith. Believing you could win this game after a heretical act shouldn't have been it. I guess I don't have to start that thread now.} {She thought she'd be out first, and she made it to eleventh place. Maybe we have a reverse curse on our hands.} {"I'll go pack." She nearly drowns herself to get a pork dinner, and then she quits to make herself the latest serving at the Turare Men's Roast...} {And they won't even serve her with a Coke.}
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Estee 44384 desperate attention whore postings
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08-19-06, 00:44 AM (EST)
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4. "I'll Go Pack: Conclusion." |
LAST EDITED ON 08-24-06 AT 07:59 PM (EST)We're quiet again. It's a very bad habit for this tribe: we lose, and it takes a while before we can discuss it. At least this is the last time for it. In two days, this tribe won't exist -- -- and I won't be here to see the new one... Azure nuzzles my hair. She knows something's wrong again, she might even understand that it's nothing she did since I'm letting her ride, I think she's trying to fix it and there's no way she can do anything here except nuzzle my hair. I softly stroke her feathers. We're getting very close to goodbye, Azure. I don't want to miss you. You've got to be better off without me... Climbing up the challenge side of the Cliffs now -- and Trooper breaks the silence. "Goddamn Desmond." Who is nowhere in sight. He might be back at camp by now, and so gets to miss his own virtual flaying. "You gave it to him, Alex. You gave him the means to give us a chance. If he'd kept up that train-walk all the way through..." And the growing anger breaks with a sigh. "Maybe we wouldn't have won. But we would have been in it." And, just in case I'm starting to feel the least bit safe, "Your going tomorrow is at least partially his fault." Mary-Jane looks miserable. "So send him home. How good is he going to be at the next Immunity challenge, when we'll need to have someone with the necklace?" "We can't," Gary softly says. "We gave our word, Mary-Jane -- the men vote together. The decision was made days ago. Alex has her challenge weaknesses too -- she's next." And the surprise: "Yeah, she is. But not on merit." Gardener catches up, passes, gets four paces ahead and steps in front of me, forcing me to stop before I run into him. I wearily look up at him. "You told me I pick the weirdest times to do things. What do you think you're doing right now?" He puts out his hand. I look at it. I don't take it. I look up at him again. Grudgingly, "You're out. I told you all along you were out if we lost. I'm keeping that promise. But -- you were right about my not doing the beam. I would have gone off, especially at the end. I would have been better than Desmond, though. The place we got screwed was on yesterday's sit-out, and damn it, I'm not sure how we could have worked that differently without knowing how fast you were going to blow through that puzzle. If we knew how much time you'd save us at the end there, Gary could have sat and Desmond would have dived..." He trails off. The others have gathered around us by now, watching again. "I would have followed your strategy on the narrowest beams, and maybe I wouldn't have been fast, but I would have made it. I would have followed it because I'm not so damn stubborn that I can't eventually realize when someone's telling me what I need to hear." He raises his hand a little, suggesting. "I can't and won't save you, Alex. The alliance is more important. But I can tell you this wasn't your fault, and --" A long pause. "Oh, goddamn it, will you just shake my hand? You're making me feel like an idiot here." Another long look at his oversized paw -- and finally, I grasp it. His grip is a lot like Phillip's, but without the callouses. Gardener does something he hasn't really done before: sighs while seeming to mean it. "It was good having you in this tribe. Okay?" "It was good being here." I shrug. "Better five of you than one of Connie..." And he laughs. "Yeah." Three pumps against the approaching sunset, a silent hold afterwards to regard each other quietly as the cameras capture the moment -- and then a release. The others move on. I stay where I am for a moment, looking at the ocean from the top of the Cliffs. It was good being here... It really was. But I'm not gone yet.
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{There's no alliance here, people. What there is works out to 'mutual respect'. If this is the end of Alex's story arc, Burnett's giving her a royal sendoff. She brought in a twist he never thought of, she did her best to beat not only her own tribe, but his game -- what we're looking at is the show's equivalent to a twenty-one gun salute.} {Yeah, but he's doing it with way too much time left on the clock... that would normally be the sort of scene you'd expect just before Tribal Council if we were going to have a guaranteed vote-out, and they're just now heading into camp...} {I don't believe this! Look at Desmond! Captain Mine-Mine-Mine is back!}
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We return to find Desmond leaning against a shelter wall -- and a camera operator trying to get him to move. Vocally. "Get off it! I told you it was against the rules to take it down, and there's no way in hell you can stay there for the next day!" Desmond just sneers at him. "If I have to make someone move you..." Trooper's first on the scene. "What's going on?" The camera operator turns to the nearest available voice of reason, relieved to have someone around who might listen to him. "He's on top of the idol clue. He tried to take it down when he got in here, but I told him that was automatic removal from the game -- everyone has to have a fair chance to read the thing -- and then he just decided he was going to stay in one place until Council." He reaches for his belt, going for the walkie-talkie. "And now I'm going to see if that's grounds for automatic removal from the game, since I'm guessing none of you can read the thing through his body..." Desmond blinks. Apparently this possibility hadn't occurred to him. Gary sighs. "Desmond, just get off the thing before you wind up saving us a vote." Desmond slowly, reluctantly moves -- and gives the rest of us our first look at the clue. We keep looking at it -- -- and then another camera operator nods to me. Okay, they want it read aloud, and since it's my fate on the line... "'It's always in the first place you look.' To quote someone we all know, 'Well, that's a lot of goddamn help.'" I manage a passable Gardener-snort, which gets the smallest of smiles from Mary-Jane. "If I knew what the thing meant, I wouldn't have had to hide it," Desmond tells Trooper, apparently already having forgotten the fact that he almost bought himself a ticket out. "I didn't have that much time to work on it, and nothing's coming to mind." Gardener leans in towards the wall and re-reads it. "That makes no sense. Anything you're hunting for is always in the last place you look because when you find it, you stop looking. How Elmore found this thing is beyond me... maybe he came across it while he was rooting for truffles..." A genuine Gardener-snort, patent pending. "Now there's an idea. Bet there are some of the thousand-dollars-a-pound ones somewhere on this island. Too bad we don't have a pig instead of a parrot." "Oh, we've got one," Mary-Jane replies, staring directly at Desmond as she does so. "Maybe if he gets his nose low to the ground and sniffs around..." Desmond's response is to march away, heading up the water path. Mary-Jane watches him go. "I don't care any more. It's not like he can dump me next vote." Trooper nods. "No, we need all the hands we can get..." Although he may be thinking about the chance of Mary-Jane switching out of disgust: there's an undertone of worry there. "I'll go talk to him." And out, with Gary trailing behind. Gardener shrugs. "Back to fish and rice -- someone want to get some fruit? I'll get the fire going." A glance at me. "You get the ones tomorrow -- you started the first one, you should get the last one before you go." And another shrug. "Not enough daylight left for an idol hunt, anyway: there's just barely enough to find the stuff we know is around -- I'll have to get someone to tail you and make sure you don't find it tomorrow." "And thank you for thinking of me," I tell him, letting the exhaustion touch my voice. It's been a very long day. "I'll go get something. Maybe some more of the starfruit. It's not like I'm going to have that again any time soon..." "Want me to come with you?" Mary-Jane, asking for one last secret alliance conference. "No," I tell her. And before she can take it personally, "I've got to find a bathroom spot, too... Come on, Azure, onto the perch, there are some things I don't feel like having you watch..." A little coaxing gets her transfered, and I turn back to find Gardener silently holding out his E-tool. I accept it with a nod, then head down Frank's trail: it'll be easy to locate some loose soil somewhere off it. My camera operator for the day -- the woman who normally films my confessionals -- follows me. She'll definitely want one in the morning. I hope I'll have time to spare among all the private conferences. It's always in the first place you look...
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{That was low. I hadn't thought about it before now, but it makes sense that all the contestants would need to have equal access to the clue. Removing it or blocking it would be a major no-no. Desmond's acting like an absolute *** right now.} {And then some. Believe this confessional? He's blaming Alex for putting too much pressure on him, and he's the one who discarded the strategy! Is there any chance he was dumb enough to do it just so they would lose and he could get her out, the hell with the all-important majority?} {God, I hope not. That would be one of the dumbest moves ever. Here's hoping that full confessional makes Survivor Gold -- if it does, I'll let the rest of you know if he said anything about pulling the stupidest Burton in history.} {And Gardener's figured out the 'watch the prey' strategy Angela used on Elmore all by himself -- Alex will have no chance at the idol unless she can somehow beat her shadow to it once it's seen, and that's assuming she can figure out the clue.} {She's good at visual puzzles, but she never worked out the first word one...} {Or she could just get up really, really early -- well, so much for that idea. Time-lapse, and welcome to Day Eighteen. Alex gets up and finds Gardener's already bringing in wood. Sorry, Alex, no idol hunt for you!} {Montage... Gardener, Trooper, and Desmond are looking for the thing, trying to beat Alex to it. None of them are making any progress, although Trooper's search feels really half-hearted, and Desmond's frustrated as anything -- he's turning over every available leaf and boy, is that going to take a while. In confessional, Gardener admits that he can't work this one out, but he's pretty sure Alex can't either. "Not even if she folds it into origami."} {Gary's been assigned to follow Alex, and she's taking it with moderately poor grace...}
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"I'm going to talk to my secret alliance partner now. You're welcome to listen if you like." We're at the waterfall -- after an extended wait: Gary and I (and avian company) are held up for several minutes while Mary-Jane finishes filming a confessional. When we're finally allowed to enter, we find her sitting on the diving rock, wearing her bikini and looking dejected while her camera operator checks his battery power level. Gary just looks like I've said something funny. "No -- I'm pretty sure I know what you're going to say. I'll just stay over here and make sure you don't make a break for it." Thus partially freed, I approach Mary-Jane. She looks down at me from her perch on the marble, knees against her chest, arms wrapped around her legs, eyes oddly sad. The position may partially be for warmth: it's another mildly cool day, but one with a bright sun in a clear sky. Cold front passing through, probably. "I didn't even think you were going to say goodbye." And a long, slow sigh. "We've had a really weird relationship. I feel like I've spent half my time on the island apologizing to you." A glance at Gary. "They won't give you a second of a chance, will they? God, this sucks..." I climb up onto the rock. "We have to talk." She nods. "We'd better. This is it until the Reunion. There's something I've wanted to say to you..." She gives Azure a funny look. "Just watch. This'll be what she learns instantly and repeats forever." I shake my head. "It doesn't matter." "Yes, it does." Insistent. "You need to hear this --" Probably not, and she needs to hear this first. "I'm asking you not to fold." Mary-Jane blinks. Not what she was expecting. "...what?" "Don't let the men pressure you into a five-one vote in the name of a 'unified tribe'." I sigh. "That's the only request I'm making. Please vote with me in the last one, just to send a message. Not that he'll ever hear it, but..." "Desmond, right?" The smallest of smiles. "That's all you want from me? One vote that won't mean anything?" "At least it'll take a few extra seconds for Jeff to finish tallying," I tell her. "And maybe it'll give the viewers at home a little doubt, just for a few seconds... I'll know, but..." Softly, "Yeah, Desmond. Please? No matter what the others ask you to do?" The smile gets just a little bit larger. "Okay..." She lets go of her legs, and I start down from the rock. "Alex -- I still want to say --" I glance back. "At the Reunion -- if you say it now, Gary will probably report it." She leans back against the sun-warmed stone. "You're right -- it's something I'd rather say in private, anyway." She looks at Gary, clearly placing the blame on him, and I'm briefly amazed that she's come to regard the presence of three camera operators as 'private'. "You've got my vote, Alex. Even if it doesn't count for anything." "Thanks." I leave with a small crowd trailing behind me: Gary, two camera operators, a single natural shadow with a parrot sprouting from one end -- and we all head for our alliance conference area. This part is easy. I don't have to sneak off anywhere, and Gary doesn't have to do an equal amount of sneaking to follow me. I've got my sketchbook with me, I'm drawing everything I can get to, and Gary's supposed to be along making sure I don't do anything else. I just want to use the spot because it's the one I picked for secret alliance conferences and if we're only going to have one more talk, at least we'll have it in the right place... Gary waits a moment before starting the conversation, sitting down against a tree. He takes a glance at the grass patch. "I don't like being out here, Alex -- there's too much wrong with the place." "I thought you weren't superstitious," I remind him, taking a seat against another trunk, facing him. "I'm not," he says. "The things I believe in aren't based around prime numbers and black cats..." He closes his eyes for three heartbeats, takes another, longer look at the bare spots in the patch after he opens them again. "Call it memories, I guess: that's closest." "But that's why it's the best spot." Another reminder. "Because no one else wants to come out here, either." "I know," Gary replies. "I just can't blame them." A slow breath. "You're trying to force a tie, right?" I nod. "You, me, Mary-Jane. Three votes for Desmond, three votes for me, and see what Jeff does next. Maybe it'll be fire-building, maybe we'll see a Fallen Comrades quiz, and it could even be the return of the purple rock -- but I'd rather have a fifty-fifty chance than zero." "You're assuming Mary-Jane won't fold," he tells me. "She didn't hold out that long on Trina once she realized she didn't have the numbers -- she might do the same thing again." I'm assuming you're actually with me, too. There's a lot of assumptions flying around right now. "I know -- but if she doesn't, it's still four to two, at least it's not five to one, and everyone will assume she was the other vote. You'll be safe." He smiles. "Worried about me revealing myself? Look, I'd rather have you than Desmond any day. If we get the tie and you stay, there's ways around the problem. If you leave, there's lies I can tell." "I've got one already." I take a few moments to go over it. "Call it the 'usual suspect' theory -- that's probably the first direction he's going to look." Gary nods. "There's a chance, sure -- if I step on the pedal fast enough, I might get enough speed up for the thing to fly." An Alicia warbles an extended protest at all the noise we're making. "I bet you won't miss those if you go." "Not for a minute." I stand up. "Come on. I'm going to Challenge Beach. I never got that down on sight. I did a few of the challenges from memory, but..." A long, very exaggerated groan. "Oh, for... I'm not a young man, Alex. You're hauling me all over the place today." He stands with carefully displayed slowness, as if trying to force his limbs into a protesting creak. "So if you have an extended hike challenge coming up, you'll be ready." I start heading for camp. "That makes it hard to feel sorry for you." "Don't you mean if we have a challenge?" he teases. "It's a tie," I tell him. "There's no promises. For all we know, the solution this year is that both people go." "Alex." He's stopped moving: I turn to face him. "Same thing as Mary-Jane -- if you're going tonight, there's things I want to tell you." "Don't." Gary starts to open his mouth. "No -- don't. Have that much faith in me, okay? And if it all goes wrong, you can save it for the Reunion." He sighs. "I'd rather tell you now, but -- all right. Faith -- but if it goes wrong, then you and I are going to get together at the wrap party and have a really long talk." Oh, great: that'll be something to look forward to... "Knock on wood." My non-superstitious theoretical alliance partner raps on the nearest trunk, and we start on the next phase of the Great Memory Hike.
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{Alex all over the place, and Gary's always making sure she doesn't do anything but draw. He lets her get a talk in with Mary-Jane just because the men know it won't matter in the end, and Mary-Jane nearly says something to Alex that doesn't make the show because Gary's hanging around. Maybe it'll come out at TC.} {Going up to each of the men, even with Gary watching her, and saying "Hi. This is my mandatory last-ditch effort to save myself. Got a minute?" Trooper completely cracks up, Desmond just walks away, and after Gardener pretty much shrugs it off, she turns to Gary while Gardener's still in earshot and repeats it. Cute... her sense of humor is really coming out tonight. She never laughs, she never even smiles, but at least she understands what jokes are.} {Goodbye, my evil. Goodbye...} {Gardener makes sure Alex lights the last fire before TC, Alex finishes packing, gets her torch, gets Azure, and we're off...}
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This time, Jeff is standing where the missing wall should be, watching us come up the path. I look over his head, find Denadi's torch on the wall, the place where mine is supposed to end up -- and Frank's, fixed in a slot on the floor behind our seats, where the rest of our torches will wait for us to pick one for extinguishing. Gardener notes the last with approval. "That'll do, Jeff," he tells our host. "It'll be like he was listening in." We take the same seats we took the first time, even leaving Frank's and Trina's seats empty -- and Jeff doesn't ask us to cluster up. Azure spots a waiting perch and flies over to it. The humans can conduct their silly business on their own: there's treats to be had, and surely we can see how much more important that is. She may also want to be by the fire: a cool day has turned into the first actual cold night of our stay, and everyone's covered up. Jeff sits down in his throne and regards us for a moment. He's got a light khaki jacket on. "Your second trip to Tribal Council as a losing tribe," he reminds us, "and your last as a tribe. About a day from now, well before the Reward challenge, the buffs are going to be dropped. But one of you isn't going to see that merge." A slow survey, each of us in turn, stopping with Gardener. "The last time you were here to vote someone out --" and we know this isn't taking Frank's auto-vote into it "-- you told the person she was going in advance, and she accepted it. Are you still sticking with that?" Gardener nods. "We did. Hell, we let her know over a week ago that she was the next person gone as soon as we lost." "Mary-Jane or Alex?" Jeff asks, since the pronoun was something of a giveaway. I raise my right hand. "Alex, you accept this?" "I'm not exactly thrilled about it," I admit. "But I know the men are voting me out tonight. I don't have the numbers to get a majority for someone else, so..." I carefully spread my hands. "There's only one way to fight when you don't have the numbers, Jeff, and Gary was following me all day, on Gardener's orders. I didn't have any chance to look for the idol." Jeff seems intrigued by this. "Second time..." he says, mostly to himself, and I realize that someone on Haraiki had the same thing happen to them. It is a pretty obvious strategy: try to beat the finder to it if you can, keep the pressure on so they can't get a moment alone to consider the clue -- and if they somehow get it anyway, you know to vote around them. "But are you resigned to it now, or did you try to work without the idol?" I glance past Mary-Jane, over to Trooper. "Every man here can tell you I came up to them and tried to talk them into another target -- Gardener included." A very light shrug. "I did everything I was supposed to do. I checked the so-called angles, I tried to work for a number goal -- but no one wanted to listen to me." And right to Desmond. "Of course, if someone had listened to me from the outset at the Immunity challenge, I wouldn't be in this mess." Jeff knows a cue to switch focus when he hears one. "Desmond, Alex is saying she's here because you didn't listen to her. Is there any truth to that?" Desmond grunts, possibly because Gardener's just about got a copyright established on the snorts. "Like hell it is. She called me the weakest person for the challenges... you've seen me do pretty well in some of the ones before this." Trooper's not going to let that one stand. "She said you were the weakest person for yesterday's challenge. And she was right. Maybe she was a little too direct about it, but she said what needed to be said -- and after she said it, she gave you a strategy that would work. It might not have won it for us, but I still think it would have kept us in the game." "What strategy was that?" Jeff is going to follow this line of questioning until he finds a body impaled on the other end. "The foot shuffling," Trooper tells him. "Kids' game -- play choo-choo all the way down the track. That's what we did on the first beam, so we could all stay on with Desmond in the chain, and you'll notice we didn't fall off once. As soon as Desmond was free, we could move faster, and trust he'd reach the end -- but he went to another tactic, and you saw the results. Off the beam, over and over." No, Trooper is not happy -- in fact, he's even less happy than Desmond is right now, and Desmond is pissed. Desmond is not in the mood to take blame, any day of the week and he'll turn it down twice on Sunday. "I know how I'm voting tonight. I'm voting for Alex, because I said I'd do it and I've got to make sure my word is good. But the wrong person is going home." Desmond sputters. "Damn it, I was not going to look like a stupid five-year old up there fresh into recess..." Gardener's turn. "And right now, you just sound like a bratty one -- drop it. We might have lost anyway even if you'd done what Alex told you to do, but Trooper's right: we would have been in it all the way. We all saw Phillip go down -- same problem I would have had: too much weight on either side of the beam. Connie went over a few times. None of them were foot-shuffling -- they thought it was funny, and when the first beam went slow because of it, there was no way they'd consider it. Hell, I'll bet that was part of Alex's strategy -- I couldn't hear it from the waiting area." I nod. "Trail just a little at first, make the movement seem completely impractical, catch up later. I thought we could pick up speed once Desmond was out, and we did. It was only his time that really mattered anyway." "But --!" Desmond is not ready to let this go. Gary is still trying to get the point home. "It might not have worked, but it would have been a fight -- no matter how childish it looked." Mary-Jane's turn. "You took this whole tribe out of the game, and I'm half-convinced you did it because you were angry at Alex for calling you out and then telling you what to do. You hate having women tell you what to do, don't you, Desmond? I really wish I could talk to your ex -- I bet she's got some stories! What was the real cause of the divorce: one request to take out the garbage, and you decided that was enough backtalk for one marriage?" Jeff's just watching us, fascinated. This is gold, and Gardener's not ready to halt mining operations yet. "We at least partially lost because your selective deafness kicked in again, Desmond. Same as when we tried to warn you about Elmore trying to fall on top of you in the third Reward challenge. Maybe it's the beams' fault: your feet touch one and your ears stop working. I want you as my alliance partner, but I've got to know you're going to listen to me when I'm telling you something vital to your own survival!" Desmond goes for his court of first resort: the birth certificate. "I've survived on this planet for nearly more years than you and that one --" pointing at me "-- put together, and I'm not going to be lectured to by my juniors!" And defensively folds his arms, huffing as if he's just put an end to the argument. The union foreman, running on pure seniority, has arrived at the Council, and he is not happy. Jeff decides this would be a good point to break in. "It almost sounds like you nearly all feel the wrong person is going -- but you're still voting that person out." Trooper's actually starting to look depressed. "We have an alliance, Jeff -- all of the men. If we start jumping ship now, when we're about to merge at even numbers, then how can our alliance partners know they can trust us when we really need to stick together? We have to keep our word here, and hope Desmond learns from experience -- because while he's the senior for life experience, he's the junior for show experience, and we need him to realize there are times when we're going to know best." Desmond's still huffy. "I've listened to you about the show -- I've even listened to her --" me again "-- and Mary-Jane. No one has to teach me how to walk." "But everyone's minds are made up?" Everyone nods their answer to Jeff's question. "Mary-Jane, how do you feel about this?" "I can't break the numbers either," she says, sounding like she's trying to match Desmond huff for huff, just to irritate him all the more. "I'll stay loyal to this tribe after the merge, but right now, either someone cleans a lot of seniority-built-up wax out of his ears, or I can at least keep a strong wish as to who's going out first after Haraiki's gone..." Jeff tries to keep the Council going after that, but there isn't much point. He attempts to quiz Mary-Jane on whether she'd rather jump, and she says a few nasty words about Connie and drops the subject back in his lap. Since we haven't seen him for a while in a non-crisis context, there's some conversation about camp life, what we're doing, how we're dealing with the island -- but the miasma of anger and frustration over Desmond's attitude hangs over all of it. There's only two times when things even partially lift, and they come just about one right after the other. The first is when the discussion turns to the upcoming merge, which Jeff naturally leaves me out of. Gardener discusses Phillip. "On the one hand, it's like having the best practice squad in the world to work against: if you can't keep your skills sharp going against that, then just give up. On the other, he could beat me out for my position on the team with one good week... It's going to be a constant challenge as long as he's around, but at least I know there's no way I'm going to nap on anything physical." Gary manages to find a few good words about Connie. "When she gets over here, I'd like to talk to her -- just find out what the issue she had with Alex was starting from the water on, and settle it. She's been nothing but polite to me -- I don't think she's anywhere near as much of a witch as Gardener makes her seem. For all we know, she's just got a deep-seated phobia about lifeguards." Mary-Jane discusses the showmance on the other side of the coast. "We've got to break them up, but I don't know if it's going to be Tony first because he's the stronger physical threat, or Angela because she's clearly the better mental one. She's the brains of the pair, but you never know how much of an intelligence run is going to show up in the challenges..." She shrugs. "I don't exactly think I can steal him away from her. He looks -- I've caught him going over me and Alex a few times -- but she'll kill him if he tries to touch." Trooper laughs. "Maybe that's our inroad to the majority -- we'll just make sure you're clean, the camp is clean, your bikini is clean, and then get Angela out of there for an hour any way we can..." Mary-Jane giggles. "Maybe -- but I don't think it's going to work. That's the kind who comes with her own built-in cheating sense. As soon as he does anything, the little ping will go off in her head, and she'll come running to the other end of the leash..." A little after that, Jeff comes back to me, and he asks me if I have any loose ends I want to settle. There's one I'm willing to admit to. "Azure," I tell him, and glance at the perch: sure enough, she's looked over at the sound of my saying her name. "Here..." I hold up my right arm, and she comes. Gently stroking her feathers, I continue speaking to Jeff. "I don't know if she'll stay with the tribe after I'm gone -- not if I'm the one she's imprinted on. I don't know what's going to happen to her. She did a good job taking care of herself for all those years, but -- I guess I just want her to be with humans now. That seems to be what she prefers -- what she wants." Jeff smiles, just a little. "I'll take her," he says. "If she'll let me. She can come live in the mansion again until the season's over -- and after that, well -- a parrot this beautiful is going to be in demand somewhere. You'll be debriefed in the mansion before you're taken off the island, and she can come with you that far. That'll give us a chance to see if she'll stay." "Thank you." And I mean it. No matter what happens, Azure's fate may be settled. At least she'll have a chance to be around people. "And with that arranged," Jeff tells us, "it is time to vote. Desmond, you're up first." He roughly pushes his way out -- I clear the way just in time -- and heads out the door, slamming it behind him. Still angry. Someone's going to have to do a lot of talking to him -- if it would do any good at all. I watch quietly as the others come and go. Trooper. Gardener. Mary-Jane. Gary. And finally, me. Out the door, closing it carefully behind me, switching Azure onto my shoulder for comfort, forcing my handwriting into a larger block print. Seven letters, and I hold up the vote for the camera: Desmond. "One day, you may see this," I tell him. "But I don't know if you'll ever hear it. You're not a bad person -- but there's times you seem to think you're the only person -- and for the rest of those moments, that the only other ones who might qualify are all male. That's going to mean you'll miss a lot -- and I don't know if you'll ever regret it." I briefly wonder just how his marriage ever began -- maybe it took his wife a decade or two to find her spine -- fold the vote, place it in the cylinder as Azure curiously watches the action, and return to the others, taking my seat. Soon, I'll know. Jeff stands up. "I'll go tally the votes." I immediately start counting. By the time he finally returns with the cylinder, I'm at four hundred and thirty-eight. "Once I read the votes, the person voted out will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately." The expected pause. "I'll read the votes." This is it... If nothing else, I'll know who ultimately decided to stand with me, who folded and went against, who might have been lying all along... The sound of the cylinder opening is strangely loud, and Jeff is very careful about putting the lid down so it doesn't clatter. There's just enough time for one breath -- and then the first piece of parchment is unfolded. He glances at it, then turns it for display. "First vote -- Alex. And Azure." Sure enough, both names are on the slip, and I glance back just in time to hunt for the points on Gardener's teeth. "Okay, I'll honor that... Second vote: Desmond." And that's my vote. This time, the focus is on Desmond, and he's not as upset as he was by the parchment at our first Council. He's just barely acknowledging this one, probably because he both saw it coming and he's chosen to ignore the source again. "One vote Alex, one vote Desmond -- third vote..." Reach, unfold, read, twist. "Alex." Halfway there. Halfway to having it be over. I just watch quietly. No expression, no movement. Focused on Jeff, waiting for whatever comes. Jeff knows what his part is in this. "Fourth vote --" and this time the turn seems slower "-- Desmond." That gets a reaction from Desmond: one vote, fine, that's clearly (and was) mine, but two? He must have been expecting Mary-Jane to fold again -- and when I look at her, I see a smug little smile on her face. No, she didn't cave in this time. She wants him to know how she feels about him, she kept her promise, and she voted with me. "We're tied: Alex and Desmond with two votes each." Gardener doesn't seem surprised: he knows where that vote came from. Gary hasn't reacted once since we started, and Trooper, like me, seems to be waiting it out. "Fifth vote -- Alex." No surprise: no one in the male alliance as Gary wants me to know it decided to change their mind at the last minute. Everything is coming down to the last piece of parchment in the cylinder. "Sixth vote --" -- five heartbeats, six, seven, Jeff is still looking at it, eyes blank, nothing to read there, everything to see is on the paper and he's just starting to turn it -- "-- Desmond." Trooper's spine locks. Gardener almost bites through his lower lip. Mary-Jane laughs with delight and spins to face me, eyes openly wondering what just happened. And Gary and Desmond form an unintentional chorus: "What?" Desmond takes it from there. "Someone here is a traitor! Who the hell went with her? One of you bastards --" "I know how I voted," Gary tells him, clearly angry. "I'm betting you didn't go against your own plan --" "-- hold it!" Jeff, who values the footage, but also needs to get the Council to the next necessary stage. "Save it for later!" The group settles down, although Mary-Jane is still grinning from ear to ear and Gardener's knuckles are going white on his tightly-clenched fists. "We have a tie: Alex three votes, Desmond three votes. We are not going to have a revote." Which answers the first question. "Right now, we are going to go to this year's tiebreaker --" dramatic pause "-- unless either Alex or Desmond can show me the hidden idol." Directly to us, "If one of you has it, the other one will be out. Desmond, do you have it?" "Didn't even come close," Desmond immediately says. "I looked for it just to see if I could work out the clue, but it never happened --" and stops dead, because I've just gotten up, grabbed my bag, and gone behind the seats, Azure riding with me, both of us heading for my lit torch. "...what?" With open disbelief and hope riding side by side in his words, "Are you quitting?" I take the torch out of its slot -- right next to Frank's for tonight -- and look at the flame. Azure looks at it with me. No, she's not afraid of fire, and maybe guns don't bother her, and she might have even learned to stay calm in the face of screams... Five heartbeats, no more, and then I head over to Jeff, who also can't believe what he's seeing. "Alex...?" They're all staring now, and in the moment I can see her face before passing by, Mary-Jane looks betrayed... Plant the torch in the marked position. Wait. Jeff stands up, and now the anger is starting to show in the center of his pupils. Jeff hates quitters. "If this is your way of saying you've got lousy luck and you're pre-empting the purple rock, we're not using it this year." Good to know for the others, anyway. "The tie-breaker is something completely different." I shake my head. "No." I take my left hand off the torch. "I just wanted to be as far away as possible when I did this." I turn my left forearm over to get my palm facing up, tug at the sweater's cuff with my right hand, shake my arm twice -- -- and the idol falls out. It's a beautiful piece: I risked a few seconds appreciating it after I originally drew it out. It looks like it's made entirely from obsidian, but it feels stronger than volcanic glass, and all of the edges that would normally come from a chipping were smoothed out. A tiny featureless man holding a spear across his body, positioned in a semi-crouch, ready to spring into the attack. Four inches high, but less than an inch wide, and with barely any weight to it at all. I catch it in my hand, hold it up so the others can see it -- then present it to Jeff. "I didn't think Desmond would take it very well." He doesn't. "You bitch!" And that's a scream, and it looks like Connie has a new friend. I don't turn to look at him. I'll hear it if he decides to make a charge at me and I'm pretty sure Mary-Jane will trip him on his way out, if she can spot his movements through the tears that are probably going with all that laughter... "How? Gary watched you all day, I know he did! You couldn't have hunted at night -- you'd never find something that black in the dark!" "I found it when I went to get the starfruit for dinner," I tell Jeff -- if Desmond wants to hear this, he's welcome to. "Before I got anywhere near the patch. I just circled around and came at it from the back." Calmly, "What's the first place any contestant has ever looked when there's something important going on in the game? Tree Mail. It was right in the quiver." Any anger that might have been in Jeff's eyes has been banished by amazement -- and something that could be delight. Even though he had to have been told if it was found or not, even if they told him I had it, he wasn't expecting things to come out this way... "Alex's votes are negated. Desmond, yours still count -- and by a vote of three to nothing, you are the sixth person to leave the Society Islands. Alex, step aside -- Desmond needs to bring me his torch." I go over to the fireplace and watch -- but Desmond's not going anywhere. "Desmond -- your torch." Desmond stays on his elephant leg, slouched low, muttering. "It's not right... she can't have it..." More firmly, Jeff says "Desmond, either you bring me your torch, or someone else is going to bring it up while you're carried out of here." That gets him up, and he slowly, slowly shuffles up to where Jeff's waiting, looking for all the world like he finally figured out that the choo-choo walk was viable after all, and he's hoping it'll buy him the time he needs for someone to tell him there's been a horrible mistake and I'll be on my way to Sequesterville in five minutes. Desmond has chosen his last resort: stalling for a miracle. But as always, it doesn't come. "Desmond -- the tribe has spoken." Jeff's voice is soft, but laser-steady. "It's time for you to go." Desmond shuffles out and can't even be bothered to glare at me as he passes. He doesn't have the strength. Desmond is a broken man, every piece is dedicated to figuring out what went wrong for him tonight, and each one is coming up with a different answer... I return to my seat. I don't put the torch back first: it stays with me. Jeff looks all over in turn again, as he did when we first sat down -- and this time, he lets the amusement reach his words. "Desmond thought he had a grip on this game -- and he found out just how quickly things can slip out of your hands." Or out of a sleeve. "If you take anything from this Council, remember that: nothing is certain." And the most artful pause of all. "It'll be the best thing you can keep in mind for your next Council. I'll see you all in two days for the first individual Reward challenge -- go get some rest. Tomorrow's going to be an exceptionally busy day." Dismissed. I stand up again and head out. The others silently follow, and this time, I'm counting steps. I make forty-eight of them -- the exact distance required for the back of the line to clear sight of the Council set -- before Gardener explodes. "What the hell just happened?!?" Several birds wake up and, seeing that the torch fires are giving them enough light to make a run for it by, do so. "I can understand Alex finding the damn idol, the --" more birds take off "-- clue makes sense now, but where the hell did that third vote come from --" and that's when he does exactly what I'd hoped he do. Gary's instant (and planned) reaction to the tie has saved us, because it couldn't have been him, it certainly wasn't Gardener, and that means it must have been "-- Trooper?" Trooper also reacts as expected. "Me? How can you think --?" As if Gardener's going to let him finish that. "I should have known when you took her fishing. I thought it was cute, a little farewell present, and hey, she even caught something. You decided to switch it up, didn't you? One vote, knowing she had the idol, that way there was a tie and no one's stupid 'message' votes scattered all over the place would bounce someone out, target Desmond -- and you got what you wanted. Desmond's out. Nice one!" Trooper's not exactly going to take that lying down. "You want to believe that? Fine! Believe whatever you want! Am I happy to see Desmond gone? Absolutely! He was going to be a challenge drag, and there's times when that could hurt us -- you know team-ups still happen in challenges after tribal! Would I rather have Alex? Hell yes: she's the better thinker, and we're going to need thinking if we're going to beat this tie!" He's playing right into our hands... "I voted for Desmond because I was part of his alliance and that's what I said I would do. I said it, I meant it, and I don't care if anyone believes it or not -- just don't ask me to be pissed off about the results, because that's not going to happen! I went with males against females because it was the first proposition out of the box and it was something we all knew, Gardener -- but that is over. Now it's Turare against Haraiki until one's gone, and guess what?" He points at me. "That, right there, is Turare!" Azure is probably the only bird left for a quarter-mile in any direction. Gardener starts to say something -- stops -- starts to say something else -- stops -- then narrows his eyes back to their usual state and storms over to me. I hold my ground. If anything happens, I've got a lit torch... "I've got one question for you," he growls. "Just one, I want the most honest answer you can give, and I'd better believe it. And I'm going to have a lot of trouble believing it after you spent the whole day acting like it was your last day and you were going just through the damn motions." I wait. He'll get to it eventually. "Are you with us?" "Yes." Full eye contact by torchlight. "Flipping to Haraiki means Connie. Connie means I'm out. You know that. I'm not going anywhere. I'm with Turare, as far as we can go." Two breaths, three, we're actually falling into sync on our pacing... "Fine." One hard nod. "I believe you. For now." He looks back at the others. "Let's get moving. Tomorrow's going to be one hell of a day..." And takes the lead, letting his mutters clear out (and possibly kill) any insects that might have stayed through the bird scare. I follow. We are five. Tomorrow, we will be ten -- and 'we' may cease to exist.
----------------------------------------------------
{I don't believe it. I saw it, and I recorded it, and I can play it back any time I want to forever, and I don't know if I'm ever going to believe it...} {Why didn't they show all the votes? Since when does Burnett conceal who voted for who after everything was read? This is going to drive the strategy people nuts! Where the hell was that third vote from? It could have even been Gardener! Someone get out the Emmy nominations: best actor and actress in a reality series...} {This just in: Desmond just got his first comprehensible non-bleeped final word in. Don't except two.) {The alliance thread is still in play, the Tarot thread is still in play, Alex is still in play, and the merge is up next -- where the hell do we go from here? {Ahhh -- worry about it tomorrow. Right now, I've got just one word for all of you. 'Boing!'}
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(End of Episode #6. As with the production schedule for the airdates, the next episode here will be a recap week: one or two bits of previously-unseen footage (including Frank's video), DAW commentary, and life on the After front.)
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Belle Book 1925 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser"
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01-08-09, 08:11 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: I'll Go Pack: Conclusion." |
Hee-hee-hee! The look on Desmond's face when Alex revealed the Hidden Immunity Idol -- also priceless!  Now for my love list for this episode: 1. Gary -- good one! You really fooled Gardner and protected your secret alliance with Alex! Of course poor Trooper got the blame, but I'm not telling.  2. Alex -- I'm putting you in the #2 spot because of what you did in the Reward Challenge. But the way you concealed your finding the Hidden Immunity Idol was a classic! 3. Mary-Jane -- I think you're right about Desmond. I too think he threw the challenge out of pique that a woman told him what to do -- and that Alex called him out on his weakness. I'm glad you voted for Desmond to go. 4. Phillip -- still the nice guy. Unfortunately, we didn't see a lot of you this week. 5. Trooper -- I feel a little sorry for you being the victim of a false accusation -- but even if I could tell Gardner the truth, I wouldn't. I'm not putting Gary in danger. 6. Robin -- nice job in the Immunity Challenge! Another area where your balance skills helped you out. 7. Gardner -- I'm glad you acknowledged Alex was right after the Immunity Challenge, but you still voted against her. And you accused the wrong person, although I'm not telling you that. 8. Tony -- you must be directionally-challenged, or maybe that crack to the head you suffered in the first Reward Challenge affected your navigational skills. It's still funny. 9. Angela -- not much from you this time, but I'm not really complaining either. 10. Connie -- I'm no fan of "mystical" people like Denadi, but I think I can put my own feelings aside in a game situation and tolerate them. You can't. And I still dislike you. Now for our feathered friend from Turare: Azure -- Gary figured out why you reacted the way you did when you saw that rifle. And I think you're winning over Alex -- she might care about you more than she's saying. Out: Desmond. Idiot. If I'm right and you did throw the Immunity Challenge out of spite and hoping to get rid of Alex, you deserved to go. Again, idiot. Belle Book
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vince3 15726 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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08-19-06, 06:25 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Survivor: The Society Islands: Episode #6: I'll Go Pack." |
First off, the foreshadowing in Ep. 3:{Does anyone else think Gardener and Alex were trying to warn him? -- oh, and listen to this when he gets back onto the platform! Yeah, we were meant to see that. I bet when Desmond goes out, it'll be because his selective deafness brought him down.} Well, his "selective deafness" probably cost them the 6-4 advantage heading into the merge, and he ended up paying for it!
Now the foreshadowing from the multiple sources in Ep. 6:
First, from the editing thread: {Desmond's story seems to have been told, but he's safe within his alliance. His lack of knowledge and uncertain feel for the game would normally indicate his demise: work done, soldier: go home. There has to be a second act to his tale if he's going to stay in the game: either he learns as he goes, or someone explains it to him in the jury box...} Then, in the episode: To Desmond's credit, he does get the idea. "I'll watch my words," he jokes. "What happens if you openly say you're going to make Final Two?" Mary-Jane laughs. "You're either in the middle of a hubris edit, or you're Richard..." Either Desmond worked out 'hubris edit' on first hearing, or he's not worried about it. "Well, I intend to try," he tells us. "I've come this far, and that's a lot farther than some of the other oldsters went. A lot of them were going out in those first episodes, gone by the last one... Hell, I even outlasted Denadi. I think I'm the oldest person left in the game." Which is an accomplishment, but I'm not completely sure he really sees it that way. Desmond still thinks he can win.
Almost immediately after he says: Desmond, who wants someone else to hear his prediction, provides the answer. "How far we thought we'd go in this game before we ever got here. I said Final Two." After all that foreshadowing, there's only one thing to say: "You reap what you sow" He wanted men vs women, but he didn't count on somebody actually playing the game in his or "her", in his case, best interests in mind. Hopefully the recap will confirm that Gary was the third vote, which is implied by Alex stating that the joining Desmond in on the "What?" chorus was pre-planned, probably in the starfruit grove, to deflect blame to somebody else, Trooper in this case, and hope that they'd be receptive. I'm glad that Alex found the idol almost immediately and kept it hidden and played the "Vote for me, even if I'm going out" role to a T. That made it all the more explosive when the idol was revealed to be in her long-sleeved blouse. I think that she was hoping to actually get rid of him outright if there were enough outbursts from him, especially during the TC, with the idol being an insurance policy that nobody expected, especially with Gary shadowing her all day. (However like Denadi the episode before, they really should've looked more before sunset after the IC, because that's when she found it...... 
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AyaK 8129 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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08-20-06, 07:54 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Survivor: The Society Islands: Episode #6: I'll Go Pack." |
LAST EDITED ON 08-20-06 AT 10:42 PM (EST)>I'm glad that Alex found the idol almost immediately and kept
>it hidden and played the "Vote for me, even if
>I'm going out" role to a T. That made it all the more explosive
>when the idol was revealed to be in her long-sleeved
>blouse. I think that she was hoping to actually
>get rid of him outright if there were enough outbursts
>from him, No. She had to make sure that the male alliance was still targeting her. If they knew she had the hidden idol, they would have switched the votes to Mary-Jane, and the hidden idol would have been worthless as a shift in power -- which is why it never worked for Terry. Once everyone knew that Terry had the hidden idol, the dominant alliance just voted for his friends. Alex played it intelligently, unlike Terry. Unfortunately, Alex is TOO intelligent ... and Burnett never let the cameramen pack in S3 either (he hired local hunters to act as protectors for both the contestants and the crew, and the cameramen were instructed to keep shooting and count on the hunters to take out the predators) ... but that doesn't make this any less entertaining.
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AyaK 8129 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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08-21-06, 11:10 AM (EST)
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11. "RE: We've got a moderator on the thread?" |
I just started reading this on Friday and finished yesterday. I think it's wonderful, although you and Zoidberg are making me wonder whether we need a "Survivor Fanfic" Forum. 
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Colonel Zoidberg 3370 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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08-21-06, 12:10 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: We've got a moderator on the thread?" |
I am a bit curious if others besides Estee and myself have written anything like this. I also wonder if Estee's fanfic is all the way written (I've finished mine, up to the end of the Reunion, but I intend to write a few articles a la the ones that appear on this site with some episodes) and, if not, has it really been decided what's going to shake down? I made a few decisions before I wrote it as to the course of action, but most of it was decided as I wrote it.)
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AyaK 8129 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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08-23-06, 02:58 PM (EST)
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15. "Agree" |
LAST EDITED ON 08-23-06 AT 04:15 PM (EST)I don't think anyone has ever seen anything like Estee's Survivor: The Society Islands. If I were writing it, it would take me through Christmas at best.  BlowsVivor was a pretend game that shakes put together after Survivor 2, which he originally called "shakesvivor." He actually had people apply to be in the game, then he picked a group of 16 posters to be in it from among the applicants (with three non-applicants in it also). He wrote the first episode ... and vanished. BadAs, a prominent former poster, on his own wrote a second episode and renamed the game "BAvivor." Then I took over as coordinator, and we renamed it "BlowsVivor." If you want to see it, all the posts are in this forum:
BlowsVivor Forum
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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Great work as always, Estee!
I'd have trouble doing justice to your people, even if we were working together, and our different viewpoints on each other's creations would only trip us up. Sorry...