This is a little something I put together and I’ve included several of you. Ashmo gave me her explicit permission in chat and Dave was my witness, the others were taken from the blanket permission thread. BUD LIGHT Presents:
Real OTer of Genius!
Today we salute you Ms. Moonbaby!
You provoke great works of poetry like “Goodnight Moon.”
Yes, you bare it all, without you streaking would never be the same.
You make the coyotes howl and the looney bins bustle.
You turner of tides, you waner and waxer…
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Ms. Luminous one, and know you are our favorite heavenly body.
Today we salute you Oh Clueless one!
Probably Clueless as you sail the seas with the Yacht Club moniker: Wrong way Peachfuzz.
To you starboard is left and port is right.
Only a Sheepdog named Rory could sail with you, hair across the eyes, oblivious to the danger you cause.
Yes, sail Mate! Sail on! Doing all you can to decrease the population of small craft.
So crack open an ice cold bottle of Bud Light, Oh Master of the seas, because without you the Coast Guard would have nothing to do but intercept illegal narcotic shipments.
Today we salute you…you…you, Echogirl.
You always have the last word; you let us know what’s on your mind.
You broadcast our thoughts, the good, bad, the ugly, without a care as to content, you lay it bare.
If there’s a word to be said, you’ll say it, a yodel to be yodeled, you’ll sing it.
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Reverberator, because you put the vibrate in vibrator.
Today we salute you, Mr. Nailbone dude.
Though women fear driving nails into walls, they appreciate the bone you throw their way.
Sure a screw is nice, staples do it rapid-fire, but a Nailbone is a hard man to beat.
What else can be driven home with a hammer and live to tell about it?
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Hard as nails, and know we mean it when we say you do it the hard way.
Today we salute you, Miss Ashmo Circuit City Clerk girl.
You serve our needs, lurking in wait behind the Circuit City Counter.
Ready to pounce, to sell us every extra option we don’t want or need.
And when it’s time to close the deal, you give us the full Ashmo treatment…an extended warranty sealing our fate with those baby doll eyes.
So crack open an ice cold bottle of Bud Light, Ms. Full lifetime unlimited protection lady, you provide the protection and we’ll take care of the rest.
Today we salute you, Mr. FarmBoy.
You toil in the fields, sowing so we can reap the bounty of your sweat.
Milking day and night, whether the cows need it or not.
Yes, supplying our great nation with the fruits of your labor.
And doing it while wearing kilts!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Mr. Green Acres Man, you give us the meat that puts the padding on our seats.
Today we salute you, Mr. Pepe LePew.
Ignoring the aroma wafting from your body, you forge on, determined to get your girl.
Sure she’s only a feline, but do you give up? Do you even realize it? Non!
Pursuing every angle, bounding along, the very epitome of savoir faire.
Interspecies love, now that’s a real skunk’s dream!
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Oh stinky one, but ya better have the insurance paid up ‘cause Lion Chow ain’t no girl skunk.
Today we salute you, editors of flash fiction.
You purveyors of sublime literature.
You weed through submission after submission, tearing out your few remaining hairs hour by hour.
You bring us the best writing of Llama herding nomads named Dave.
Your keen eyes ever focused, scanning for spelling and grammar; the Visine factory on speed dial.
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Tech and Wheezy, you put the fun in flashing.
Today we salute you, Ms. Mandy, keeper of the bar.
No matter how snockered you are, you hold court in our bar.
Your words of wisdom liven things up, not to mention your lap dances!
Yes, you put the lap in dance, the gin in tonic, and the whisper in chat.
You are the girl who keeps us coming back for more or at least at least keeps us coming.
So crack open an ice cold bottle of Bud Light, Queen of the bar, you can bring us a stiff one any old time!
Your 2003 College Football Pool Ultimate Prize Winner!