The Amazing Race   American Idol   America's Next Top Model   The Apprentice   The Bachelor
Big Brother   The Biggest Loser   Dancing with the Stars   Survivor                Reality TV World
   
Reality TV World Message Board Forums
PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats, but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are encouraged to read the complete guidelines. As entertainment critic Roger Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
"WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS)"
Email this topic to a friend
Printer-friendly version of this topic
Bookmark this topic (Registered users only)
 
Previous Topic | Next Topic 
Conferences Story Competitions Forum (Protected)
Original message

snoocharoo 1 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"

01-28-03, 11:50 AM (EST)
Click to EMail snoocharoo Click to send private message to snoocharoo Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
"WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS)"
LAST EDITED ON 01-28-03 AT 11:53 AM (EST)

This is my very first ever attempt at putting thoughts into writing. The story I've chosen is partly fiction partly biographical. Please be considerate, critiques of the story itself are welcomed however I would please ask that yourefrain from personal judgement regarding the subject matter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Baby Killer!!!!!” "Life begins at Conception", "Pro-Life is Pro-Christ". The protest signs bobbed up and down as the angry mob screamed indignities and of sins never to be forgiven. The lump in her throat felt as big as the bulge in her belly that was soon to be disposed of. She mustered all of her courage and imagined herself far, far away. Away from the city, away from the man who insisted upon this, away from herself...

"Okay, we're here. I'll drop you off and come back in about 3 hours?"
She vaguely replied "okay" but it wasn't okay, nothing about this was okay.

"Hey honey, you'll be fine, this is for the best. I'm not ready for another child and you can't even handle the one you have." "You'll be fine, I'll make you some chicken noodle soup when we get home and maybe we can get a puppy." He smiled at her and placed his hand on her thigh. She cringed at his touch and looked away thinking of how much she hated him in that moment.
"Just don't be late to pick me up, I want to get this over with, give me the money.” He peeled off $450.00 in cash, she thought miserably; I guess that is what our baby is worth to him. Oh God, please help me...

Opening the car door quickly she steeled herself against the crowd of protesters gathered as an angry lynch mob in front of the clinic door. An armed guard came forward and with a compassionate smile led her to the inevitable hell that loomed ahead in the broken down building that leered manically above her in judgment.

It was filthy. The cheap, plastic chairs held nameless, faceless women, some shuffling nervously through their purses in search of something to hold onto, others chatted as if this experience was nothing more than a trip to the beauty salon. A junkie vomited in the water fountain permeating the stuffy, stale air with a pungent odor. "I don't belong here,” she muttered under her breath. “Women like me don't belong here, not married women with a child. This is for low-life's and teenage girls” The thoughts scurried in her head like a small rodent and she felt disgusted and ashamed but knew there was no turning back. Her mother’s words echoed in her skull “you made your bed, now you must lie in it”. How true and cruel those words were. She longed for her mother’s cool strength to fill her but alas it eluded her yet again.

She took her number and waited for the woman behind the wire mesh reinforced glass to call her forward. Damn, she had to pee again and that smell was just making the morning sickness worse. After what seemed an eternal wait her number was called and she shuffled forward, not looking at any of the other women perched in chairs all waiting for the same death monger to irradiate the mistakes they made. She couldn’t bear to look at them or have them look at her, she knew their faces would somehow become the faces of the priests and nuns of her childhood years casting stones and damning her soul.

A small, severe looking Puerto Rican woman barked mundane questions at her from behind the glass. The woman behind the glass shot a question at her like an arrow it pierced her numbness and brought her back into the cold reality of this place.
"How many abortions have you had?"
That question insulted and wounded her brain, the word "abortion" conjured up images of dead fetuses in garbage dumpsters, drug addicted prostitutes and scraggly teenage girls with young men anxiously waiting beside them. For a moment she was stunned refusing to acknowledge that this was truly happening. "Uh, I've never had an abortion before" she managed to sputter at the woman. The small Puerto Rican woman behind the glass scribbled something on a form, pushed the sliding metal deposit box at her that contained a thin blue hospital gown and a specimen cup. In a very authoritative manner she ordered "Here, you go take these, go to your left into the bathroom, produce a sample and leave it on the small tray next to the sink. Take off all of your clothes, including your bra and panties and put the robe on. You can leave your socks on if you're cold".

“Yeah lady if you only knew how cold…Numbly, she complied.


The nurse, or what she assumed was a nurse flatly told her that she was 10 weeks pregnant. 10 weeks, 2 ½ months, almost into my second trimester she thought but quickly shut that thought out of her head The stainless steel table was hard and cold beneath her as she lay exposed looking at the devices and instruments that would make this all go away. She fought the urge to bolt, to just leave and go home. She fantasized telling her husband of the precious new life they created and have him joyfully wrap his arms around and celebrate their blessing. But that was just a pipedream. He didn't want the baby, he never wanted a baby and he made it clear that it was her fault it happened the first time, she had ruined his life and he never let her forget it.

She cried tears of happiness when the + sign came up on the pregnancy test that morning, she had known she was pregnant but chose to wait as long as possible before telling her husband, she wanted to warm him to the idea. In her heart of hearts she knew the child she carried within would never live to take it's first breath. She'd never hold the warm, soft baby in her arms, she'd never see her baby take it's first steps or hear the word "Mommy". He wouldn't allow it; he couldn't allow it because a baby would end the ski trips and nights out with the guys. My GOD, another mouth to feed, someone ELSE he'd have to take care of. Not that they really had to worry about money, he was terrified at anything that veered from “THE PLAN” A baby is nothing more than overhead and that isn’t in “THE PLAN”. Isn’t that what he preaches to her “ A man with no plan is no man” Again, feelings of intense hatred and resentment surfaced, she fought back the tears and yelled at herself "Don't think, don't think"

The doctor, an aging Indian gentleman with a kind face and soothing voice must have noticed the tears streaming down her face,” it will be alright dear, there is no pain...slide down please." She thought, "Yeah right, no pain". The room was overtaken by the sound similar to that of an industrial vacuum, she shook in fear and anger. It just wasn't fair. As the life they created was being sucked out her, her own life came into focus. She saw herself, desperately longing for attention, needing something to fill the hole that seemed to take on it’s own life in her soul. This baby was her personal salvation, the key to fulfillment, the one thing that would finally bring her peace. Her thoughts drifted back to their younger days, before all of the cars and homes and social engagements and responsibilities. Back to the time when they lived recklessly and with abandon. He was so happy then, he loved her, he smiled at her and said the tender words lovers whisper in the dark, he shared his dreams with her and she vowed to never leave him…until that day in April when she found out that life as they knew it was over. A new life was about to begin. Back then he pushed her to have an abortion, he cried and opened the locked door in his heart and shared his fears and inadequacies with her, he had good reasons, he wanted to do the right thing. But by that time it was too late, she had let the cat out of the bag and told her family, her sister wise beyond her years insisted upon the baby and rallied the family, he was outnumbered and less than enthusiastically complied.

He’d always been good to her, honest and strong. She knew that she had deceived him, she had told him it was fine and that nothing would happen, he trusted her and she had lied. She was to blame. She could have said no. She could have just told him “no, it’s my body” but inside she was weak and powerless before him. She always gave into him even if it meant sacrificing herself. He was a good man and he always got what he wanted.

“Okay, you’re all done, I fixed you up real good now.” “Take a seat in the chair, try to rest, the nurse will be by to check on you, once the bleeding has subsided you can leave.”
That was it. “Easy-peasy-japanesey …right on old chap” she thought to herself and giggled. Her insides felt heavy and hot, somehow her feet got her to the row of recliners where she was instructed to relax. Sadness overwhelmed her like a tidal wave “I just want to go home, I just want to go home”. In the recliner she wept quietly so as not to disturb the two broken women on either side of her.

He came with a bouquet of roses and lovingly helped her into the 4 walls they called home. She was drained mentally, physically, spiritually as if part of her own life was disposed of too. He held her close to his chest and stroked her head, he kissed away her tears and for a while they were back at the beginning and for a while it was good. He promised her a puppy and talked of trips they would take and places they would go. She wondered if he felt guilty and ashamed, the look in his eyes was answer enough.

Her baby came to her in dreams, a son so beautiful he glowed with golden curls and big green eyes. Sometimes he ran to her on unsteady legs, toothlessly grinning, calling out to her, arms outstretched. Her breasts would ache to hold him and she would run to swoop him into her arms but each time his face would change and become that of a disfigured, demon endlessly chasing her down empty, run-down hallways, drawing ever closer to devour her.

She screamed helplessly into the night until she was shaken from this lucid state. He would always say the same thing “you were having another nightmare, it’s okay, you’re fine”. He would ask the nature of her terror but she knew better than to answer him honestly. She kept the guilt locked away, a hidden dirty little secret that haunts her in the land of lucidity. Things would never be the same and her internal torment would continue, she glued the pieces back together and pretended that it didn’t matter, but it was lie. It did matter, she was a baby killer and nothing could change it.

  Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS) Wheezy 01-28-03 1
   RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS) snoocharoo 01-28-03 2
 RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS) echogirl 01-28-03 3
 RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS) Schnookie Palookie 01-28-03 4
 RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS) L82LIFE 01-28-03 5
 RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS) Asrai 01-29-03 6
 RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS) Mon Cherie 01-29-03 7
 RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS) Silvergirl1 01-29-03 8
 words are not enough I_AM_HE 01-29-03 9
 RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS) Superman 01-30-03 10
   RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS) snoocharoo 01-30-03 11
 RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS) nailbone 01-31-03 12
 RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS) Red Lady 01-31-03 13
 RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS) Drive My Car 01-31-03 14
 RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS) PhoenixMons 02-13-03 15
 RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS) Bebo 02-13-03 16

Lobby | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic

Messages in this topic

Wheezy 9153 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

01-28-03, 12:48 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Wheezy Click to send private message to Wheezy Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
1. "RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS)"
Snooch, you are a natural. This story is absolutely brilliant. I couldn't take my eyes off the screen. My work phone rang while I was reading it and I didn't answer (phone ringing = money to a realtor), that's how riveted I was by this agonizing scene. Your character development is fantastic. Thank you so much for posting this! You have a way with words.


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

snoocharoo 1 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"

01-28-03, 01:23 PM (EST)
Click to EMail snoocharoo Click to send private message to snoocharoo Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
2. "RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS)"
Thanks Wheezer...your words mean a lot to me!! ((HUGS))

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

echogirl 2120 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator"

01-28-03, 02:23 PM (EST)
Click to EMail echogirl Click to send private message to echogirl Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
3. "RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS)"
Hey Snooch!

This is a powerful story--you can't help but feel her pain. I think you eloquently tackle this controversial topic from every side showing how intensely intimate this decision is and how outside pressures abound. Wonderful work and I want to thank you for sharing this.


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Schnookie Palookie 16822 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

01-28-03, 04:33 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Schnookie%20Palookie Click to send private message to Schnookie%20Palookie Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
4. "RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS)"
Thank you for sharing this story with us Snooch. Beautiful writing. I'm not surprised of your talent.


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

L82LIFE 5333 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

01-28-03, 06:13 PM (EST)
Click to EMail L82LIFE Click to send private message to L82LIFE Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
5. "RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS)"
An aboslutely riveting and heart wrenching story, Snooch. You captured so much raw emotion in this piece. I'm truly in awe of the talent you showed us. Very, very good writing.


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Asrai 6062 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

01-29-03, 00:54 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Asrai Click to send private message to Asrai Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
6. "RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS)"
Snooch, this has got to be one of my absolute faves. I could really feel for these characters. I so wanted to be there for her, to hold her hand, soothe away her fears. Thank you for deciding to write this and sharing it with all of us.


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Mon Cherie 1811 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser"

01-29-03, 01:13 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Mon%20Cherie Click to send private message to Mon%20Cherie Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
7. "RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS)"
Thanks for sharing this, Snooch.

Mon

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Silvergirl1 8694 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

01-29-03, 02:12 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Silvergirl1 Click to send private message to Silvergirl1 Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
8. "RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS)"

Snooch, your story moved me immensely and I think you have a great natural talent for expressing yourself in words.

Story Competitions website


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

I_AM_HE 6123 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

01-29-03, 02:47 AM (EST)
Click to EMail I_AM_HE Click to send private message to I_AM_HE Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
9. "words are not enough"

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Superman 3152 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

01-30-03, 07:29 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Superman Click to send private message to Superman Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
10. "RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS)"
Snooch, I read this yesterday and it stopped me in my tracks. All I can say is that this is eloquent and it disturbs me to the core. Thanks for that.


Criminals From the Neck Up

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

snoocharoo 1 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"

01-30-03, 07:57 PM (EST)
Click to EMail snoocharoo Click to send private message to snoocharoo Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
11. "RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS)"
*blush*

Thank you Supes.


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

nailbone 27248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

01-31-03, 12:21 PM (EST)
Click to EMail nailbone Click to send private message to nailbone Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
12. "RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS)"
Wow...I mean...wow...just...wow...


(c) 2002 IceCat Originals, Inc. All rights reserved. (c) 2002 Kingsladye Originals, Inc. All rights reserved.
- Royal Liaison to Illicit Activities

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Red Lady 2009 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator"

01-31-03, 02:24 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Red%20Lady Click to send private message to Red%20Lady Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
13. "RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS)"
Snooch...this is some poignant writing. Very moving and emotional.

Regards...
  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Drive My Car 20045 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

01-31-03, 07:05 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Drive%20My%20Car Click to send private message to Drive%20My%20Car Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
14. "RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS)"
Thank You.


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

PhoenixMons 4696 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Stuff Magazine Centerfold"

02-13-03, 06:10 AM (EST)
Click to EMail PhoenixMons Click to send private message to PhoenixMons Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
15. "RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS)"
I know I'm incredibly late on this (haven't had time to read/view any of the entries till today), but I had to tell you how moving this story is.

I am sitting here at my computer desk bawling (really and truly bawling). I truly feld your words come off the screen and into my head/heart.

Wow. Whomever said you are a natural is 100% correct.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Bebo 20374 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

02-13-03, 10:18 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Bebo Click to send private message to Bebo Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
16. "RE: WSC2 "Baby Killer" (SS)"
Wow.

Not an easy read at all, but once you start, you're hooked. The raw emotion sucked me in and kept me until the end of the story. Very powerful.


Royalty, shmoyalty...EVIL rules!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top


Lock | Archive | Remove

Lobby | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic

p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
about this site   •   advertise on this site  •   contact us  •   privacy policy   •