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"(IP)I Quit"
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Superman 3152 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

01-23-03, 10:53 PM (EST)
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"(IP)I Quit"
(Dedicated to those of you who have tried to quit smoking lately. I feel your pain, believe me. I don't know if this is a piece so much as it is a rant. I figured I'd throw it up here anyway, y'know, just to keep my hands busy. I don't know if it'll turn in to anything, but ya never know.

Forgive the vulgarity, quitting puts you in that mood, y'know?

Oh, and if you can't forgive the vulgarity, Mr. moderator, feel free to pull it.)

I Quit

When a soldier faces his enemy, gun poised, he doesnít say, ďIím going to pull this trigger now, several times, perhaps. The bullets will penetrate your skull and when your family learns of your demise they will weep for you for years to come. Your wife will never find love again and your children will be scarred for life.Ē

No. He screams, ďDie,Ē and does what he has to do. His focus on the act, not on the reverberations. In that, he succeeds and is able to carry on.

Yet, focusing on the act has an opposite effect for me. It causes my pain. It causes the repercussions.

So how the fuck do you expect me to breathe this? This "purity" thats supposed to be better? There's nothing in the air. Nothing that makes my blood slow. Nothing that makes my lungs electric. Nothing smooth, nothing rich, nothing satisfying. Breathing this is like being force fed melba toast when my mouth is expecting chocolate chip cookies.

Donít ever tell me that youíre proud of me for this. Proud of what? Proud of the fact that Iím killing a part of myself that has existed for years? Proud that Iím dying inside? Was I that bad before and if so, why are you still here?

And if I succeed? How am I to satisfy you again? I canít. Iíll be just like you.

Iíve never been so fucking angry before. Iíve never been so fucking sad. Iíve never been so fucking vulgar or violent or vocal. I have to wonder who this is helping. Why would you want to save me if this is who Iím going to be?

Donít answer me now. Donít even look at me. Donít touch me until one of us can convince my skin to stop crawling.

Give me something to make this go away. Something that ends in -tine. Nicotine, caffeineÖfucking Ovaltine, at this point. Something. Just give me something.

This is what you want. Here I am. Smelling great, but miserable. Neat as a waiting room, but borderline mad. I hope youíre happy.

I quit.

Superman - who's considering taking up a crack habit


Criminals From the Neck Up

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: (IP)I Quit Schnookie Palookie 01-24-03 1
 RE: (IP)I Quit Wheezy 01-24-03 2
 RE: (IP)I Quit MellowYellow 01-25-03 3
 RE: (IP)I Quit Mon Cherie 01-25-03 4
 RE: (IP)I Quit L82LIFE 01-27-03 5
 RE: (IP)I Quit RudyRules 01-29-03 6
 RE: (IP)I Quit Drive My Car 02-02-03 7
 RE: (IP)I Quit echogirl 02-02-03 8
 RE: (IP)I Quit bubbastan 02-03-03 9

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Schnookie Palookie 16822 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

01-24-03, 12:51 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: (IP)I Quit"
wow that was a wonderful piece Superman. As someone who has tried quitting before (and will be making the attempt again in Feb), I know those feelings of anger and sadness. They faded away with time but your writing has brought them back ever so clearly. I don't know whether to thank you or smack you for that I'll thank you because now I can prepare for those horrible feelings and mind games to come.

*hugs*

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Wheezy 9153 desperate attention whore postings
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01-24-03, 12:55 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: (IP)I Quit"
Superman, I love you.

Wow, you smell great.

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MellowYellow 346 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host"

01-25-03, 11:10 AM (EST)
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3. "RE: (IP)I Quit"
I feel your anger. As I was reading your dialogue to the clean, tasteless air, I wondered if your new found taste buds were getting satisfied. Has to beat that crappy taste that resides in smokers' mouth. Think I'll have a mint to neutralize it.

Great piece! Quitting is like divorce, without the cash loss.

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Mon Cherie 1811 desperate attention whore postings
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01-25-03, 09:48 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: (IP)I Quit"
Thanks for sharing this, Supes.

Mon

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L82LIFE 5333 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

01-27-03, 02:16 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: (IP)I Quit"
Great work, Supes. I have tried to quit before, and this piece captures the raw emotions perfectly. Good for you for putting out the effort to becoem a non-smoker. Thank you for sharing such a personal piece with us.

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RudyRules 8355 desperate attention whore postings
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01-29-03, 11:41 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: (IP)I Quit"
Oh my how I can relate!!!
They should put us who try to quit in a rubber room for about three months!



"Them people had to be pretty dumb to make their camp in a riverbed." - Rudy Boesch

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Drive My Car 20045 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

02-02-03, 02:18 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: (IP)I Quit"

OH NO!!!!
This perfectly describes how it feels.

Donít answer me now. Donít even look at me. Donít touch me until one of us can convince my skin to stop crawling

Yep, that's just how it is.


Buggy- lights a smoke and tries to make that feeling go away


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echogirl 2120 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator"

02-02-03, 03:06 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: (IP)I Quit"
Wow! Such angst Supes! As an ex smoker, one who has quit and started back numerous times, your words ring true.

So how the fvck do you expect me to breathe this? This "purity" thats supposed to be better? There's nothing in the air. Nothing that makes my blood slow. Nothing that makes my lungs electric. Nothing smooth, nothing rich, nothing satisfying. Breathing this is like being force fed melba toast when my mouth is expecting chocolate chip cookies.

Lol! But it's sooo true!

Great work Supes!


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bubbastan 625 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"

02-03-03, 11:59 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: (IP)I Quit"
I laughed, I cried, I fired up a smoke..... As someone who has driven to the Quickie Mart at 3:00 AM in my pajamas with a coat thrown over them because I was out of smokes and I absolutely knew that I would not get even one more second of sleep without the reassuring comfort of a fresh pack, man, can I relate. The longest I've managed to go without was 12 hours, and that was only because I was on a long, long, smoke-free flight (like there's any other kind these days). Thanks for sharing....I think...
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