LAST EDITED ON 07-05-01 AT 02:04 AM (EST)Mistoflea’s Cornertime With Kismet
<Camera’s up on a very strange Scene. Mistofleas is in human form sitting on a bar stool facing the corner. In her hands is a rolled up newspaper. Bug Zappers surround the Punishment area. On the far left we see a bubbling cauldron. Kismet enters from Stage Right.>
Good Evening SB’ers and thank you for joining us. Today we have with us the lovely Mistoflea’s. Misto has been a part of this community for quite some time. She has endeared herself to many people here, myself included. It is a certainty that our community wouldn’t be the same without her.
<Kismet walks over to Mistofleas. As they both turn towards each other, we see that Misto's timer reads 0:00:00>
Welcome Misto and thanks for agreeing to be interviewed. Why are you in the corner today and who sent you here?
<Misto hangs head in shame >
I'm here because of "excessive flirting". I put myself here to teach me a lesson.
<Misto whacks herself on the nose with a newspaper>
You should all know this next question by now. How did you find SB and why did you stay?
I was ashamed I tell you, ashamed of my addiction to Survivor. I had to find a little corner of the world where I could obsess about the show with other fruit-loops but not let the real world know what I was doing. I put Survivor into a search engine and lo and behold up pop the beautiful words SurvivorBlows. I started out on the Spoiler board, not posting, just getting little tidbits of information. I did my first thread after episode 3 (I think) and found myself in the midst of the Tamia debaucle.
It was pretty cool that she razzed me about my post and everyone came to my rescue. That's why I stayed. People liked me...they really liked me! Then I discovered the OT board and the rest is history.
Who are your favorite posters and why?
Oh man, I hate questions like that.
<Misto glares at Kis, who merely looks amused>
Favorite posters, honest, that's just too hard to answer. I know some better than others and some not really at all, but I tend to like everyone. Vampkira gave me my first sig pic and is my idol in the blood sucking department <winks at batsy> Although I must give a nod to Leif because he got me a flea picture, but I just didn't use it. <looks at Leif and smiles>. My triple e man is of course on of my favorites <waggles eyebrows at sleeeve> but he's been away for so long and I think Shakes has stolen him away. GG, Pendragon and SherpaDave have got me all twitterpated <blows kisses at the boys>. DK, Ebug, ItzLisa, Rio, Sirerist...of course you dearie <bats her eyes at Kismet> gosh, just everyone!
<Mistofleas realizes she was flirting again and whaps herself with the newspaper again. Kismet looks around to see how she was doing all of those actions when noone else is here this early.>
Well I guess we all know you are serious about the self-inflicted punishment now. Tell us about your very unusual nickname. Where on earth did you get mist of fleas?
Well I'm one of those "cat" people.
<Misto covers herself from the potential thrown tomatoes>
I was dating the horrible, evil MIME (and let me just add here...people say "mime" is a terrible thing to waste, but I disagree...let's "waste" 'em all). Anyhoo...I had been trying to break up with him for almost 6 months. I couldn't get him to leave me alone. Then I thought...hey he's allergic to cats. Like really allergic. I'll get me one of those. So I went to a friend of a friend of a friends house and saw the cutiest little pile of kittens. I picked up one and literally a cloud of fleas just puffed out from her little body. It was just like a mist-o-fleas. I had to have her. Thus her name, ergo...my name.
Thank you for the clarification. You give out special flea collars to certain people. Are there differing levels? Who among us has recieved your 'gift'?
That was such a silly thing that I did one time in chat. I think I gave it to Monkeyboy because he was always complaining about fleas getting in his silky fur. After that it just kind of grew. There's no special order to how they're given out or even levels. Hell, I got a cardboard box of them in the trunk of my car. I order them in bulk from the Acme Cheap Crap Company.
<Kismet looks into the camera>
Ever get that 'not-so-special' feeling?
<Kismet looks at her flea collar with sadness>
Okay now it's time for a question we have all been wondering about. Many people on this board have innocent flirtatious liaisons. (This is a pretend question people. It's not a real life thing. The fact that I have to put this disclaimer here at all is really pissing me off.) You and Sleeve were a 'bar couple' of note for quite some time. Are you still the couple of the week or shall we give that title to GT and LizzLover?
As per the reason I'm in the corner, I just can't help flirting and sleeeve was the first one in the bar to just be an absolute sweetie and flirt back. Sleeeve just got me all twitterpated! We got all cuddly in the bar for quite some time and he protected me from flying "monkey's" more than once. We have cooled off a bit since I haven't been in the bar a lot lately and sleeeve was on a super secret mission for the CIA....er I mean, Blowsvivor.... <Misto mutters something inaudible uner her breath.> I mean...an errand! Yeah, that's it...an errand. I will always have a stool next to me in the bar for sleeeve, but I think the torch should be passed to GT and Lizzlover.
You heard it here first people. Sleeeve is up for grabs ladies. Let the war for Sleeeve begin. Ok moving on, you are into paganism and a few people tease you about being a witch, are you?
<Mistofleas rubs hands together and points to her cauldron>
Hee hee hee...I'll get you my pretty...and you're little dragon too!! Yes, I am a wiccan, I was initiated about 12 years ago and dedicated to the goddess 10 years ago. I'm a solo practitioner (no covens or groups) and my main focus is herbs and healing. I don't mind teasing about it or questions so feel free to ask. The more people know about witches the less prejudice there will be out there.
<Misto get's off the soapbox, which is immediately rushed offstage to be sent to the Blowsvivor set.>
Just so everyone knows. Misto got to bring her own props because she is here punishing herself. Moving on.. We have recently discovered that you are allergic to almost everything. What exactly can you eat?
< Misto giggles> Good question!! I say that I can't have gluten (no wheat, rye, oats, spelt etc.), soy, dairy or cane sugar. I can have honey and fructose, but not maple. I just want to say one thing.... I WANT ICE CREAM!!! Thank you...now back to our regularly scheduled interview...
Hey! That's my line! You upstager!
<Kismet glares at Misto and is obviously plotting some sort of revenge. She remembers the cameras and plants an innocent smile on her face.>
You are an unofficial board greeter as well. How do you stay so upbeat all the time?
Thanks for saying that. As I said before, I try to smile as much as possible and think positive about everything. I always say that you can find a good thing in everything...and it's true, sometimes you gotta get down and dig, but it's there. I get crabby...sure I do, but I meditate and kick puppies, that seems to help. (I'm kidding you know....I don't kick puppies!!)
I hear your husband is an idiot. Care to explain?
I love that..."Hi my name is mistofleas..this is my husband, the Idiot". I think most people know that he's part of a new vaudvillian, comedy juggling group called the Flaming Idiots. You can check out the website at http://www.flamingidiots.com. My hubby is Pyro. But enough about him, he always gets attention and this is my interview. <Misto pouts>
Tell us about you. Married? Pets? Job? etc.
I'm a legal secretary/paralegal for a criminal defense attorney. We specialize in capital murder Habeas Corpus and complex federal cases. It's exciting and challenging and never the same each day. Gotta love the law!! But of couse don't get me started on the laws in Texas and our former Governor. I'll get into a fight with Dalton and that's the last thing I need!
<Misto blows kisses at the invisible Dalton. Kismet looks around suddenly paranoid.>
Where are all of these people you keep talking to? At first I just thought "too many whacks on the head with a newspaper," but now you are really scaring me. In chat you always drink out of peanut shells. How and when did that start?
I've always eaten peanuts in their shells. I mean, I don't take them out of the shells, I eat the whole thing. I love salt...so drinking from the shells gives my te-squeal-ya shots that extra kick! Besides, I'm just a little flea, how do you expect me to lift a big glass? Sheez!
What is the funniest thing that you have seen on the boards?
Oh gods, I couldn't even start. This place is just fantastic. It's thought provocating, ridiculous, sad, creative, scary, hilarious and... well, it's family.
<The camera begins to wobble.>
It appears that you have made my cameraman dizzy with the constant swicthing between human and flea forms. I was about done anyway. Whatever you have in that cauldron is really starting to smell. Is there anything else you want us to know about you?
Hmmm....can I tell you that I really look like Angelina Jolie and I have a degree in molecular biology? Or did you want the truth?
<Misto snickers and turns back to facing the corner. Kismet turns to look into the wobbly camera.>
This concludes Misto's Cornertime. After I switch cameramen we should have an interview with SherpaDave. Stay Tuned and thank you for joining us.
*This was much funnier the first two times I wrote it. Yes, I lost this not once, but twice in 24 hrs. To whomever is responsible for screwing with my computer, I will discover who you are and you will pay!
Edited to fix the most glaring of the errors.