Aymelek's Cornertime With Kismet
(Scene opens with a view of Aymelek standing in a corner. Camera close-up on her backside as it sways slightly to and fro in a highly controlled manner. This scene cuts to a view of Kismet walking over shaking her head at the cameraman and muttering about ratings.)
Welcome back Ladies and Gentlemen, and thank you for joining us for another Cornertime. Our punishment area is as busy as ever as you can see...
<Camera sweeps in a full circle and we see that every corner is full and Rio and Merrick seem to be going at it in the middle of the room.>
If I didn't know better I would say that you people are enjoying this a little too much. <small knowing smile and a wink>Today we are focusing on Aymelek. Aym is relatively new and a great addition to our boards. She is responsible for bringing us the recent influx of superb muscle control and 'come hither' looks.
<Aymelek turns around and we catch sight of the timer above her head that reads 1 hour 18 minutes and 29 seconds>
Thank you for the interview Aymelek. First off, tell us why are you in the corner today and who sent you here.
I'm not reeeealy in the corner, you know; it's just a misunderstanding. You see, I was dancing on...er...um... I mean IN the bar and lost a few sequins and coins from my costume and I just saw that some of them rolled into the corner here....
<Aym bats her eyelashes innocently.>
Oh come now Aym.. It said in my notes that Samiam sent you here for being overly flirtatious with a certain rhinocerous.
<Kismet add 30 minutes to Aym's time for being unrepentant>
Now then, moving on... How did you find SB and why did you stay?
Like so many other posters here, I heard about SS from some Survivor fanatic friends of mine and just eventually made my way here through all the good karma I've accumulated. Funny how my "fanatic" friends can't understand why I'm still here in the off-season! Oh yeah and then there's this other minor thing... I'm an attention whore who needs help. Serious help. So y'all are my support group.
You know we are great at support, unfortunately we are bad at helping with AWS (Attention Whore Syndrome). As a matter of fact with this very next question we are aiding the syndrome. Tell us who are your favorite posters? Why?
<Aymelek begins to squirm in her seat>
You sure know how to make a person uncomfortable, Kis!
<Aymelek reaches under her seat pillow & pulls out a small green pea.>
Oh, there that's better! Now, what was the question again? Oh yes. I adore you, Kismet dear; Rio is my "rock" and I also think DK and I have a lot in common as far as the "outside world" is concerned. My favorite posters change from day to day and it really depends on my mood. Some days I'm in a fun mood and then
Shakes is my favorite poster, despite the fact that he's a clown and I clowns frighten me. <Aym shudders> Other times I come here in an introspective mood and then I read one of Superman's SSC (CW) posts that brings me down into that place I need to be. I love ItzLisa's bubbly posts, Leif's deep but
to-the-point posts, MonkeyBoy's songs and I could go on and on, but would you really want me to? We could be here all night, you know.
<Kismet adds five minutes for Princess Syndrome>
It looks like you will be here all night if you keep this up. Your nickname is very unusual. How did you choose it?
I picked my name because I needed a Middle Eastern name for my "stage name" for when I dance. I went to a website that had a list of Arabic names & I chose Aymelek because it means "Moon Angel" in Turkish & I really liked that. I consider myself to be sort of a moon worshiper as opposed to a sun worshiper. And believe me, I had just as much trouble pronouncing it as y'all
Thank you for clearing that up. If you could run away with one poster who would it be, where would you go, and why?
I'd like to run away with IceCat, because he makes my hips wiggle. We would lounge on the beaches of the Bahamas, where we would make fun of all of the cruise ship clowns missing out on dry land and sandy beaches. I'd also beg him to help me--a complete computer illiterate--understand The Code a little better, so I can make my own damn hips wiggle after our inevitable parting.
I find it hard to believe that anyone would be able to let go of Ice Cat after having been with him for very long. The combination of brains, long hair, and the strong thoughtful type really does something for me. <Realizes she is on camera and composes herself> However, we are not talking about me, we are talking about Aymelek. Are you really a belly dancer Ayms?
Oh yes, watch...!! <Aymelek does belly flutters for the camera> I've been dancing about 4 years now, which isn't long at all compared to some of my teachers, who have been dancing
20-30 years or so. I've teaching about 6 months now too <Aym hands Kismet her business card>. I think Pen would really appreciate this...
I can assure you that Pendragon has no complaints. How did you get involved in belly dancing?
I have always been fascinated with anything middle Eastern--it's food, dance and people. I just know I was a gypsy in a past life! So when my eldest sister told me she took belly dancing, I signed up for an evening class with her, fell in love and was mesmerized by it after that very first lesson. It is so much more challenging than most people would think it is. To be able to have control over your entire body is a thrill not many people can achieve. Most people who start quit after they realize they can't learn the dance and dazzle their boyfriends in 10 easy lessons. It's good for my soul, good for my body and good for my sex life, if I had one, that is.
Do you enjoy teaching?
I love teaching, but since I'm still a student myself, I only teach beginning students and will pass them onto my own teachers when they're ready. It is very gratifying to watch someone with 2 left feet, no musical talent whatsoever come in and learn to step to a beat. One of my students said her husband was very pleased with their new sex life because of her new muscle control. <shakes head sadly> I KNOW her husband...that was just too much information, you know?
Believe me when I say that I all too clearly understand TMI. Unfortunately that is my job. Of the posters here who was your best pupil? Your worst?
Well, I don't want to name any names, but those students brought me presents were my favorites--they know who they are. <Aym watches as Kismet's frowns at her.>OH! You meant which ones had the most talent!! Everyone was pretty much on the same beginning level, which was basically awful, but there were those--Roni and Survivor Chick--who gave a 1000% effort, and that's what really matters. I don't really know about Vampy's skill, because I was afraid of her bleeding eyes and couldn't even look at her to notice.
You are from Atlanta. Do you feel that being from the deep south helps or hinders you on the board?
<Aym responds in her most sugary sweet Southern accent>
Well sugah, I'm not from the Deep South originally, but bless your heart for asking, you sweet thang you!... I'm from Cleveland originally and if you think it's tough being from the North, try being from the city known as 'The Mistake on the Lake.' Humiliating. Anyway, the Southern Belle accent that has infiltrated my speech in the 5 short years I've been here DOES help because no man can resist my Scarlett O-Hara drawl. I've also learned that batting eyelash thingie here too. Gets me whatever I want... believe you me darlin'!
<Aym beckons her slave boy JV for grapes and a fan. Samiam steps in between them and they both return to their corners. Samiam add 2 hours to Aymelek's timer>
Well it looks like we still have some time. Tell us more about you.. married? kids? pets?
I'm not married and I don't have any kids that I know of. I am now, however, taking applications for future ex-boyfriends!
<pats her stack of neatly piled papers and gives the camera that 'come hither' look for which she's so famous>
I have 2 cats whom I love dearly but who unfortunately hate each other. The younger of them is only 2 and still pounces on the elder one when she least expects it. It kind of reminds me of that Bugs Bunny cartoon where the young rambunctious puppy runs up to the sleeping cat, who ends up on the ceiling. You know the one? Their constant tiffs sadden but kind of amuse me at the same
time. Is that wrong? The young one is actually my pillow at night and if I hear any one of you cry "Foul! Kitty Porn!" I'll deny it. <Aym smiles sweetly.>
You are really into cats. Do you intend to adopt Ice Cat and DK soon?
No, no, my plan was to breed them until I got a pure bred DangerIceKittyCat who is able to play the finger symbols with me. Bua-ha ha ha!
<Aym rubs her hands together fiendishly>
But the opposable thumb thing is going to be a bit of a
trick so I'll have to collaborate with my geneticist colleagues before I leave
my lab job for good
<She pours the contents of test tubes back and forth where it turns from red to blue. Kismet steps in and takes Aym's science equipment and her stack of boyfriend applications away.>
What do you think this is? You know you aren't allowed to bring toys into the punishment area without approval. Just finish the interview please. You are also going into nursing why?
Silly Kismet! It's the only way I could get to play doctor with Slurpee & Leif without their wives coming to kick my ass. Plus, I love children and would like to work in pediatrics once I finish. I don't foresee having children of my own because I wouldn't inflict myself as a worry-wart mother on any kid. I do hear that deafening roar of my biological clock ticking though--it hurts my ears! <puts hands to ears>. Make it sto-op!!!.
<Kismet removes 1 hour from Aymelek's time for clock torture>
There, there, dear Aymelek. Let's try to stay positive. Describe your ideal mate, who knows he may be watching as we speak.
Here, have a drink KisKis, this may take a while.
<Aym hands Kismet a vodka Martini>
Where are you getting this crap from? What's next butterflies? Nevermind, I don't want to know! Just ANSWER THE QUESTIONS!
I'm not picky or anything, but my ideal man would make me belly laugh like my ex John did, have the looks/body of my ex Scott, the intelligence of my ex Bradley, able to kiss like my ex Marty (who made my toes curl, man-o-man!), be kind like my ex Alan, have the libido of my ex Chris, be honest as my ex Keith, have the youthfulness of my ex Gregg and the gentleness/strength of character of my dad. Ummm, shall I go on?
No I think we have determined that your standards are impossibly high. I think I'm about done here. Thank you for the interview. Is there anything else you would like for us to know about you?
Mmmm, no not really. I've grown weary of the hot lights of the cameras. It's making my chiffon pucker. If y'all have anymore questions, just ask me. I'll tell you anything you want to know. But I am so glad I found my way here! Toodles!
<Aym tries to leave the stage and is grabbed my Samiam who was waiting impatiently for the interview to be complete. The scene fades as Sami starts pulling out her own 'toys'.>
This concludes this episode of Cornertime. <Kismet shields her eyes with her hands and points. The camera shows a new addition to the punishment area.> You probably can't see it too well because of the bug zappers, but next up is Mistofleas. Stay tuned...