LAST EDITED ON 07-29-01 AT 01:23 AM (EST)
<Muffled screams, sniffing, hair-pulling, squishing noises, more sniffing, and then....>
<Camera swoops in from the sky focusing on the Fortress of Solitude, rushes toward the ground and then through the keyhole, coming to a sudden stop. In one dark cold corner struggles a shadowy figure sitting and facing the corner. A bright light appears above her head and the person in the corner is revealed to be Kismet!>
Hello! Where am I?
<Yet another figure strides in from the shadows. He leans down and turns Kismet's chair around to face him. He steps into the light.>
I should've known it was you..
Hello Clarice.. *slurp-slurp-slurp*
<Superman is dressed in a silky robe which is covered by little S symbols. He clinches a pipe between his teeth. He sits, facing Kismet, and blows some soap bubbles out of his pipe.>
Jeez... *raises hand*
You can put that hand down. I'll ask the questions around here, sister. Why do you think you're in the corner, Kismet?
Hell, I don't know! Why did you bring me here? Are you stealing cornertime? I knew I should've had it copywrited!
<Superman leans forward, his nose one inch away from Kismets. He looks her in the eye, teeth clinched...>
The vote thread is sacred, my dear. SACRED! And Besides, I know for a fact that you are a racist hatemonger AND you ran off shakes, BA, and Ebug from the board.. so nyahh!
<Superman sits and winks at Kismet.>
Ok, How did you find this place and why did you stay?
<Kismet struggles to break free as she answers.>
I was a fanatic of S1 from the first episode. It was my first venture into reality TV. I heard about SS on the news, and I thought it was pretty cool. I had no real desire to post on that board. I just wanted to read it. Fast forward to S2. I was reading several boards and was particulalry fond of spoilers. At some point I followed a link to the Survivor Market game. Many
of you don't know about that game but it was a hell of a lot of fun, and very interactive. It was like playing the stock market but with trivia answers. There were three sites you could play from, Rivals for sports trading, AICN for entertainment news and SB for Survivor questions. I was immediately addicted to the game, and I was #1 out of all players for about a week. I played for a couple of weeks and found myself wanting to discuss the game. This was the only site with an active forum for the game. I posted (as guest because you didnt have to register to post on that board.) for quite some time. I met a lot of great people on that forum including Outfrontgirl, RudyRules, Landruajm, tonedef, and WendyP. We discovered rampant cheating and had discussions about the game. I never bothered to read the rest of the board.
One day I noticed that there was a live chat link. I thought I would go in and see if any of the market players were in there. I found BadAs's Bar and grill and discovered Ebug and Mistofleas. It was just the three of us all night and I had a great time talking to them. They were very nice and welcoming, and I felt at home. So I went in the next night, and it wasn't
too long before I was a regular barfly. This was back when there were only like 7 or 8 people in chat on a good night. I started reading the boards, just to see what everyone was talking about. I still had no desire to post, and didn't see what I could possibly contribute to this fun and witty group. After the Voyeur fiasco I figured I needed to post just so that everyone
would know that I wasn't her. Shortly after that Sleeeve and I were talking about a shakes flame, and noone knew where to find it. The idea behind the flame guide was born, a way to point out potential problems. That only lasted a few days before it became the EITS News Guide. After that there was no way that I could leave this place alone.
What am I sitting in?? Is this glue?
<Superman turns to the right, as does Kismet. They see a hand on the doorframe that retracts when it is noticed, but it leaves bloody fingerprints.>
Ahhh... It's clear to me now.
Clear? Is it really? Muwaa haa haa! So tell me dear, who are you favorite posters and why?
Everyone here is a favorite of mine. The 'Minion of the Day' tiara is passed around all the time depending on what mood I am in.
Surely you don't think that you'll get away from that question so easily. You know it's the most painful question in you arsenal, because now YOU have to be nice!
I have to be nice?
Okay in no particular order:
Ebug- As I said above she was the first person that I met and we were instant friends, just add syrup. You will never find a more warm, open and lovable person.
Rio- An unparalleled sweetheart Although sometimes she can be very shy, you will never meet a more loyal caring friend.
ICB- What's not to love here? He's smart, he writes incredibly well and he looks like Colby!
Vampkira- No, I am not addicted to her tonic. Vamp adds a lot to this board and no one does the dark side as sweetly as she. I can't imagine what this place would be like without her 'motherly' influence..
<Kismet smirks into the camera at Vampkira.>
Dangerkitty- She can always crack me up. She never fails to surprise me, and I never know what to expect from her.
AyaK- Our font of anarchistic knowledge. I have never seen a more fair minded individual. Besides that, he has a very subtle sense of humor that is too often overlooked. He reminds me of Michael Caine, who is one of my all time favorite actors.
Mistofleas- I will never forget how wonderful she was when I was new.She always has a hug and flea kiss for everyone.
ItzLisa- I wish I had as much energy and pep as she does. She is the board cheerleader and I don't know how anyone could leave her off their favorites list.
Sleeeve- A fellow theater lover and one of the nicest guys I haveever had the pleasure of talking to.
Eristo- He has always been on board for whatever scheme I have concocted. He has a very good heart and I truly appreciate his fun-loving nature.
Monkeyboy- I never thought I could like a monkey. They have never been one of my favorite animals, but this one just steals your heart away whether you want him to or not.
Roni- She is always there for everyone. Her quiet strength and compassion are greatly undervalued, and yet I think that almost everyone has gone to her for advice at some point.
Shakes- Yes I like shakes. I appreciate his humor and contributions to this board.
JV- Yes, he is one of my favorites as well. I appreciate his brutal honesty. You never have to wonder what he is thinking about or saying to others. He will tell you himself, and that is something to respect.
Dalton- I don't know where she went, but she was always one of my favorites too. She had a Texan attitude that is really needed around here and I hope she returns soon.
Leif- the Viking is an awesome guy. I appreciate his humor and sarcastic tendencies.
Ice Cat- He is much more than a computer geek. He is a fabulous friend to have, and is always thoughtful and kind.
Koko- Sweetheart of the sweethearts. He is someone who would give the shirt off his back if you even hinted that you thought it looked nice.
Aymelek- She is so much fun to tease and play with. She showed up and took the board into belly dancing land and we've never been the same since.
Volmel- There is noone like Mellie. She is an incredible lady and the tiara saga began with her. I hope that she returns to us soon.
Samiam- Sami is so cool! She is always the life of the party and I can't say enough good things about her.
SherpaDave- He is a great listener and a bar counselor to all of us. He is always encouraging and uplifting others and he is quite funny as well.
Pepe- I love Pepe! I wish everyone was as open and friendly as he is.His first night in chat is legendary for a reason...
Tinkerbell- I like to think of her as an ItzLisa jr. She is very sweet, young and fantastic. Our Jr Varsity cheerleader!
Moonbaby- Yeah, she seems all reserved on the boards but in chat she is hysterical. I mean it.. never a dull moment when moon is in the room.
Lisapooh- She's a fellow Dallasite, she writes incredible stuff and she is afraid of birds, what's not to love?
Darbygrl- When she's not off skiing she's waving at us and saying cheery things.
MonCherie- Hey she's one of my favorite chocolate candies, and it is fun and inspiring to watch her flirt.
Boomerang- I love his songs and his sense of humor. A talented and important board member.
Webby- He is actually quite the funny man oddly enough. He isn't serious all of the time. He's the best babysitter I ever had.
Flying Squirrel- He makes this list because he is an awesome poster and an TMBG fan.
Survivorchick- I like her because she was the first person to flirt with my husband. Her chickie sig pic always makes me smile.
Dabo- What a guy! I don't know him all that well, but his interview blew me away. I look forward to getting to know him better.
Jizzy- Even though I will always think of him as LizzLover, he isdefinitely one of my favs. He's a Cowboy fan to boot.
LadyT- Sweetness and spice in one little package. She also has great taste in nicknames.
GG- I love a man with an accent. GG is a great guy, and I miss his Lame-O shows.
Peter Torque- The best tarot reader I know. I am so glad Monkey brought this guy to us and I look forward to getting to know him better.
Peter Torque! OMG! I Love him, too!
MakeItStop- I gotta admire anyone who jumps right in playing with us.Playing with me specifically is also great fun!
Pendragon- Well of course he's my all time favorite. Wanna know a secret? I think I'm in love with him... Shhhh don't tell anyone...
Woo Hoo! So you've got a crush on this Pendragon fellow. What does your husband think of this?
My husband hates Pendragon. When he does somthing that I don't like I say in my most shrewish voice, "Pendragon wouldn't have done that'. It drives hubby crazy which is my plan. You see, once he is safely in the looney bin,I can run away with Pendragon and live happily ever after.
<Superman raises eyebrow>
...and I will always have a soft spot for the Survivor Market people listed above as they were what brought me here.
Is that ...ummm.. y'know...everybody?
What Supe? Oh well, you were on my favorite posters list until you pulled this little stunt. Now I intend to completely overlook how many times you have had me rolling in laughter. I will conventiently forget the way you
made me cry with your 'What about the kids' entry and the number of times you have distracted Pendragon. I won't mention what a great friend you are because you are on my "To be Dealt with" list. Just you wait until I get out of here. Are you crying?
No!! I just... I just blew a soap bubble in my eye.. *sniff*
<Superman fans his face with both hands>
Ok...ok.. *sniffle* next question.Who's cornertime was the most fun to do?
What the hell kind of stupid question is that? Think about it Supe. I haven't finished the cornertimes yet so I can't pick a favorite. I think maybe you've been sniffing too much glue.
<Superman turns through his notepad, trying to find a decent question>
Ummm..ok...here's a hard hitting question. In your opinion, and be perfectly honest with me here....Who let the dogs out? I mean really...
AyaK. Seriously, I have it on good authority that his anger management techniques finally failed, and he intentionally left the gate open.
<Kismet shakes her head sadly and then snickers.>
What?! Are you laughing at my questions??
Oh nooo...Not me! Your questions are sooo great..
<Kismet rolls her eyes.>
Well, little Miss "professional reporter" as you can tell, Barbara Walters I ain't. How do you come up withall them there snazzy questions?
No, you aren't Barbara but you look nice in her clothes. Personally I like your robe, but the ugly brooch just ruins the effect. How do I come up with the questions? Well, I know just about everyone and I am always jotting things down in my handy dandy EO notebook.
<Kismet pulls out notebook and shows it to the camera.>
Want to see what it says about you? Well tough crap Superfreak! This is for my eyes only!
<Kismet sticks her tongue out at Supe. Then she writes something down in the notebook and snickers>
Anyway, back to the question. I ask the same 5 questions to everyone and then throw in the stuff I know from the board and chat to round things out.
Well I can tell you, that ain't the "thinking chair" your sitting in. *snicker* Where did you get that nickname?
My very first internet nickname was Katiee(yes with the extra e). I got involved in an old IRC chatroom on a server long gone. No, it wasn't a porn room, even though thats all IRC is anymore. This was 5 years ago. I met some good people there. I got to be almost psychic about predicting when people would be arriving in chat. I was getting tired of my nickname because there were a ton of Katie's in various forms. One night we got on the subject of Fate and Karma and I played psychic. My friends said I ought to call myself Karma. I thought about it for awhile. My husband was playing a collectible card game called Magic the Gathering and one of the cards was called Kismet. That sounded perfect to me and the name Kismet was born. I have used it in almost every community I have joined unless it was taken.
Tell us s'more about you...
Oh what a boring question. Everyone knows everything there is to know about me. Allright, for those of you in the cheap seats. I got married at 19 to a wonderful guy. We've been married seven years. I wanted to teach High School Drama/English. I love musicals and have almost everyone of them memorized. I have two kids 17 mos apart. They are the most beautiful things God has
ever created. I am a member of the vast right wing conspiracy. My wedding photo appeared in a Dr. Pepper magazine. I enjoy terrorizing blind people. I am addicted to Carmex. I love the smell of gasoline. I am a royal bitch in the mornings before I have my coffee.
I've seen some pictures of your beautatious family. Feel free to use this time to rub it in the face of all those loners and unwed parents on the board.
Hey, no problem, I love to brag about my hatchlings... My son will be three in September. He is a charmer like his Daddy. He flirts with every woman he sees and acts the gentleman to the men. My daughter is very introspective and independent. When she wants attention she lets you know and the rest of the time you had better leave her alone. Both of them look like their father and when I take them out together I have a lot of people ask if they are twins. Together they are quite the team of troublemakers,and I am constantly having to put out fires. I have no idea where they get their mischievous nature from.
One last question...possibly the most important one..Do you think this robe makes my butt look fat?
I consider myself something of a butt connoisseur(Thanks Koko!).
<Kismet looks closely at Supe's backside.>
You have a nice butt. It's well rounded, firm looking, and it has a verynice dimpled effect. The problem is not the robe Supe, it's the granny panties. Ask Barbara if she has any thongs..
Well, that concludes this very special episode of cornertime. Thanks Kism..
Hold it, buddy! Just how long am I supposed to sit here? I don't see the timer!
Well, now you've gone and ruined the surprise! You didn't really think that YOU the "Evil Overlord" would just get a simple time-out, did you? Jeez, Kis.
<Superman kicks at the ground and crosses his arms>
<Superman presses a button on the wall and Kismet's chair reclines, a spitoon rises to her right and a large bright light lowers to her face. Superman clips a bib around her neck. Kismet's eyes widen.>
Yes. It's my own little dental chair. I know how much you love the dentist. Vamp's been studying at the Transylvania School of Dentistry. Y'know, you'd reaaally be shocked as to how much blood comes out when you pull all of someones teeth.
<Vampkira comes out in her little black nurses outfit>
Damn this glue! Where's my husband with those gloves made out of the inside of superglue bottles when I need him!
Oh, don't fret. I've already ran this by him. He seemed to think that pulling all your teeth out was a great idea! He said something about it making him "extra-happy, if youknowwhatImean."
<Superman walks out leaving Kismet screaming and Vamp laughing maniacally. He pauses... feeling a bit guilty. No...no wait that isn't guilt...perhaps it's that burrito from lunch kicking in or his allergy medication..maybe. It feels...oh, I dunno..."tingley"..>
Muwaaa Haaaa Haaaaaa!