<Standard cornertime intro and a pan showing a newly renovated cornertime area. Slowly we see Boomerang sitting on the floor in the far corner. He looks disorientated and he is rubbing the back of his head. Kismet glances down at him and looks glad that he seems to be coming around. She sets the timer for three hours and motions for Boomerang to take his seat on the barstool. She then turns to the camera allowing enough time for Boomerang to become aware of his surroundings.>
Hello again SB. Joining us in the corner today is Boomerang. He has been a poster of note for quite some time. His song parodies are legendary. He is also one of the 'graphical genius' guru's that is responsible for the many great sig pics popping up on our board.
<Kismet turns toward Boomer and smiles.>
Thank you for the interview Boomer. I was very surprised to see you here in your current condition. Why are you in the corner and who sent you here?
I'm not sure, but I remember the faint smell of grease paint and elephant dung just before blacking out. Perhaps this is retribution for several unauthorized modifications of Shakes' signature picture.
<Kismet sniffs the air and giggles>
Are you covered in dung too, or is that just shakes' that I smell?
Is that your subtle way of saying that you'd like to shower-up with me? I can never tell what women are thinking. Where's Mel Gibson when you need him?
<Kismet grins and then adds 20 minutes to the clock for being a smartass.>
How did you find this little nuthouse and why did you stay?
A friend knew of my interest in "Survivor" and told me about "Survivorsucks" and "Survivorblows." I barely gave SS a chance because of the pop-up ads. I hate those. I think I had to close six of them before I could access the site. But after seeing the material on SB I decided to stay, and it soon became my favorite web site.
Why did you choose the nickname boomerang?
I really hesitated to register for the site initially, because the last forum I was at allowed anonymous posting. But I soon realized that I didn't want to just sit on the sidelines, so I scrambled for a nickname. The first thing I wanted was to somehow make an Australian connection, and because "thedingoatemybaby" was a bit lengthy, I typed in "boomerang" and it took.
Who are your favorite posters and why?
This, of course, is the question that nobody wants to give a direct answer to for fear of offending somebody. I like intelligent, witty people, and that covers just about everyone here, doesn't it?
That's it! I have had it! Everyone thinks they can dodge this question like Roni did, but the time for slacking is OVER!
<Kismet grabs the stool and swivels Boomerang around to face the corner. She ties his hands and props his eyes open with toothpicks. She then picks up a remote control device and suddenly the corner walls are covered in little green and white checks.>
ALL RIGHT,ALL RIGHT! ANYTHING BUT THAT! MAKE THEM GO AWAY!
<Kismet removes the ropes and toothpicks. She then presses the button to remove the checks.>
Some of my favorite posters, in no particular order are: Superman, ItzLisa, Vampkira, Shakes (for his summaries ), Dangerkitty, Sleeeve, Outfrontgirl, mistofleas, IceCat, and GT.
Aren't you forgetting someone?
I don't think so...
<Kismet reaches for the remote> Are you sure?
What's your name again?
KISMET, you imbecile!
Oh, yeah, Kismet.
<Kismet adds 3 hours to the timer.>
That time can be spent with the checks or without them. Your Call... Now, you are an animation guru; do you have experience in that?
My first experience doing an animated gif happened after I came to this board. Once I saw that people were posting them, I downloaded a few programs to teach myself the process. My experience with digital manipulation over the last several years has helped me create them. The business I own also involves working with professional photographic images.
One of my favorite projects was working on a different version of Survivorchick's picture. One day I was wondering if there was anything I could do to make it different, and that's when I came up with the blinking eye idea. It seemed to be our little secret for a number of weeks, because nobody mentioned it for quite a while. Another sig pic I like working on is MistoFleas'. I've made several versions for her, and the most complicated took several hours to do.
I love your songs. What kind of music do you normally listen to?
It may come as quite a surprise that I don't even have a working radio set up in my house. The little music I do listen to is from my car radio, which is usually tuned to classic rock or oldies. I'm not really thrilled with most of the music that has come out in the last five or ten years, so most of my songs are based on older material.
What is your favorite song parody that you have written for the board and why?
I don't know that I have a favorite, but I really liked doing "Outback Business," "The Burnett Hillbillies," and recently, my version of "Money for Nothing." Some of these songs fall together very quickly, but others can take a few hours. Now I make it a point to listen for future material when I'm out on the road. Sometimes all it takes is a couple of phrases or words to get me started, and "Money For Nothing" was like that. I was coming back from the golf course and heard the original by "Dire Straits." I immediately knew that it had possibilities after I heard the first couple of lines. It was hard to wait until I got home to write it because several "Survivor" references were coming to me while I heard the song. And, as often happens, it gave me one more chance to work Jerri into a song. It probably gives me bad kharma, but I just can't seem to stop bashing her in my songs. The implication that I made about her in "She's Almost a Centerfold" was especially mean.
"So we have wormed our way into your head while you're driving. Do you think of SB at other times as well?"
Only when my therapist brings it up.
Good luck with your AWS Therapy. Most of us have gone through it to no avail. Do you have any aspirations to be the next Weird Al Yanchovic?
That depends. Does he get invited to the Playboy mansion? I've heard quite a few of his parodies, and perhaps he gave me the inspiration to try my hand at it. I've been doing it long before I came to Survivorblows, but this forum gives me a chance to integrate the happenings on the show with popular songs.
Tell us more about you?
I've lived in Michigan my whole life, and will probably stay here. I've been divorced for about five years, don't have any children, and I'm currently unattached. That's quite extraordinary considering that I'm better than average looking, extremely intelligent and witty. Perhaps it's my modesty that keeps me from making a connection. Is Faith Hill freed up yet?
<Boomerang cocks his head to one side, trying to see if Kismet's skirt has hiked up any since the interview began, then averts his eyes after remembering that she is happily married.>
Happily married and I have a new toy.
<Kismet winks at Boomer and nods toward the menacing remote control.>
Anything else we should know about you?
No, I've already said more than I thought I would.
Alright, thank you for the interview. I think you can return to the corner sans checks. But I am leaving the remote with the guard, so watch yourself.
<Kismet turns to the camera.>
This concludes this cornertime segment. Please stay tuned for further installments.
*Several parts of this interview (besides the answers) were written by Boomerang.