LAST EDITED ON 10-01-03 AT 11:11 PM (EST)
Ok, let's break this down for the "he so fiiine don't be hatin" crowd:
1. He has something GROWING out of the back of his skull-- if you look at his head, there's this weird indented strip going around the middle of his skull-- like if you took a watermelon, then wrapped flat, 1/2"-wide plastic cord around the middle, and the squeezed real tight, then took it off, leaving a permanent groove-- then BEHIND the groove his skull get's all swollen and ovoid, like the fat end of a water balloon you're squeezing off on one side-- like some kind of f^cking alien is growing and about to escape right out of the back of his skull.
2. He's one of those people that, even from the front, just looks tremendously wierd and nasty when bald. There's something just sort of creepy and...diseased about his face, and his whole head is this sort of new-born pinkish color that just makes you feel vaguely uneasy.
3. Scientists have recently confirmed what most of us suspected-- he is significantly dumber than a sh!t-peanut. If I had to listen to him say, one more time, "She, like, put herself out there for me, younowutimsayin, so's like, I'm gonna put myself out there for her, younowutimsayin", I was probably going to snap completely, grab a shot-gun, and drive myself to the nearest Dairy Queen and mow down every wigger loitering in the parking lot.
4. What is the deal with white guys who think they can pull off the completely bald NBA basketball playin' brutha look? They really, really can't...White guys are just awesomely UGLY bald, there's NOTHING anybody can do about it- they invariably look like some alien with a huge, veiny, throbbing skull from a 50's drive-in flick. And then to top it off with the "thug-life" pannyhose-on-the-head thing?? Sweet Jesus, if 50-Cent starting sticking tampons in his ears, how many white boyz in giant fubu jeans would go charging down to rite-aid within 15 minutes??
5. I looked and looked for some indication that "jerome" was at least, like, a 16th black, in the vain hope that that would somehow make everything make sense. But I never saw it. So my qestion is, how did his mom know, all the way back in 1982 or whenever that mutant was spawned, that 20 years down the road, trying to be black would be the most important thing in the world to every white boy with an IQ of 88 or less, and that, in preparation for that glorious day when her son made his debut in wigger society, he should be knighted with a uncannily perfect name like "jerome"? I mean, was the woman psychic?? Or, more ominously still, did she perhaps HERSELF create this abomination? Did she merely pass on the "wigger gene" to him, something which has been with us all along; lurking, silent, dormant-- WAITING for the perfect time to strike?
6. And what is up with that chick?? She's SUCH a mid-west dentist's housewife chick, WHAT could she possibly want with some Sean-John-matching-denim-jeans-and-jacket wearing career busboy with the emotional and intellectual depth of a 6 year old? Mike was a scumbag, granted, but I could still see him working a job that pulled in six figures, if one of his frat-brothers helped him out-- Jerome on the other hand looks like he would get fired from a job ripping tickets at a movie theater when, after 3 months of intensive training, he STILL couldn't figure out whether he should send people to the "left" or the "right".