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"the unofficial view of hilary's crotchless panties...."
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Conferences Temptation Island Everything (Protected)
Original message

bluejackethockey 84 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

12-17-01, 05:01 PM (EST)
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"the unofficial view of hilary's crotchless panties...."
yes...i definitely heard her say 'ouch'

ok -- i wrote this summary for a friend -- so it's unofficial, but i thought i'd post anyway:

previously on ti2:

hilary and skankmundo get it on (but we'll come back to that)
also...catherine the great finds out her avon lady lied when she said her eye shadow was water proof. shannon consoles cathy on the way back to the hut, trying to recall those sad childhood memories as she fights back the urge to laugh in her face. meanwhile....scary tony is dazed and confused by the secret video:
"eye just wanna knoe wahts gowin awwwhn" (you know the voice)

boo hoo cathy says the girls are are slutty prostitutes & that they don't know what being here is all about.
(and i quote...) "it's about respect, it's about class"
i mean c'mon...not only do i wonder how she could say that, but how could she remotely even think it?

shannon is completely distraught over guennies departure and also turns on the water works as she comes out of the closet.
"i can't believe she's gone...we were so close after these wonderful last five days. guennie & i always slept together and she showed me what it was really like to please another woman. i thought the only thing i needed was money, and guennie showed me differently"

back at the bar (where are the single guys are of course) the crowd goes wild when they here the news - 'ding dong the witch is dead, the wicked witch, the witch is dead...'. now that the omnipresent den mother is gone the party can get started.

day 10

"boss!, boss!, da plane, da plane!"
"welcome to fantasy island, i am your host, marky marc satan"

the group is joined by two new members - ally mcbeal and her goofy boyfriend cop-trainie dude, who at this point we'll just call goofy. amanda's quick to jump on the opportunity to saddle up to the bar with 2 cold ones and immediately proclaims "i'm not wearing a bra...wanna see?!!?" "let's do slippery first!"

the new girl is introduced to the single guys and the other 3 prom queens and immediately the instinct to defend their territory kicks in. shifty eyes and snide looks indicate there might be a pretty good cat fight in the works - finally some entertainment. cathy describes the single guy's reactions & says all the guys looked like dogs in heat....ummmm, we are...
anyway nikhole is the first to wander over to sniff her but and decides ally mcbeal ain't so bad.

marky marc later interviews the new couple to find out why they've come to fantasy island and what the details are of their custom designed fantasy.
goofy's fantasy is to be the sultan of brunie and have his way with all the slave girls. ally's fantasy is to see how the other half lives and wants to be an aspiring actress working as a bartender...wait a minute...
anyway, their story gives me deja-vu: 'we are totally in love, but we wanna see if there is something better' translation: 'this is getting stale and we fear commitment, so we would like some hot monkey action'

did you ever notice that there's a full moon on every episode? are they filming this in the land of the lost?

one of the single girls drools over the eye-talian stalion due to his high socio-economic stature - 'he's got a job, he's got an education...check & check!' the new guy announces that he's working as a police officer....notice how he worded it? goofy didn't actually say he WAS cop, what he said was that he was working AS a police officer. so
#1 he's a rent-a-cop,
#2 he's a trainee,
#3 he's a male stripper in a cop outfit.

back at the pondarosa, nick & little joe start to realize that their days are numbered and 'final date night' is rapidly approaching. the shmooze gets laid on thick trying to make progress into the final 4. someone is babbling about a butterfly of a 1000 colors or some other crap & i wondered about all the girls watching at home who have heard that exact same line come out of that guys mouth - it was well rehearsed. the x-ray spy cams catch catherine & some bobo locked at the lips - she doesnt understand what grossmundo is doing but she clearly knows what she's after - hotsexhotsex. despite not sealing the deal, the editing team can make it look like she did.

they teased us with rico-mundo and hilary in the closet last week, and this week we are sadly disappointed to discover there was nothing more to see.
(note to staff: install 2-way mirrors in bathrooms for next season). we later discover that the 2 made their way around 3rd base heading home with steam, but the cut-off man was quick and they never made it. chances are gross-mundo wasn't too happy about not sliding into home base, so on the date choice he deliberately walks up to hilary and chooses the girl next to her, whereupon i thought i saw him jump up and down shouting "YES! i am the king of all disses! in your face baby! woohoooo!". hilary looses it and later confeses to the group her life long history of 1 night stands. the girls try to make her feel better by dry-humping her on the bed. -hell, that'd cheer me up.

catherine the great also makes a surprise choice by passing on rossi & tommy. tommy takes the cake as the most self centered guy who worships himself and stands in disbelief when cathy doesnt. adrian picks tifani...ah tifani...
finally a man who throws caution to the wind and focusses on the really important things in life - like who has the biggest boobs.

ok - so anyway next week we get to see the dates & half of the island goes on the chopping block. there was some hint of surprise visitors for next week as well & i think for the final line-up they are going to bring back all booted & banned singles for one last chance to get into the mix.

maybe they should have a strip off


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  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: the unofficial view of hilary's... MizSassy 12-17-01 1
 To BJH AyaK 02-01-02 2

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MizSassy 6 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"

12-17-01, 05:59 PM (EST)
Click to EMail MizSassy Click to send private message to MizSassy Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
1. "RE: the unofficial view of hilary's crotchless panties...."
Your 'unofficial' summaries are better than the originals...please keep 'em coming. I am guaranteed to
actually laugh out loud (@ hot monkey sex ...)each time you post. Thanks for the mammories....hehe
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AyaK 10083 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

02-01-02, 06:40 PM (EST)
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2. "To BJH"
See, I never read this post because of the title, so I never knew it was an alternate E6 summary! I was ROFL reading it -- great work!
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