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"LLCIV:Gala Awards Show"
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tribephyl 10139 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

12-17-13, 00:07 AM (EST)
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"LLCIV:Gala Awards Show"
LAST EDITED ON 12-17-13 AT 00:33 AM (EST)

Its...the...Slaggies! Yes, The Slaggies! The Super...lative... Lo.o.o.o.ser... Awards Gala....Sho.o.o.o.o.w!
*cymbal crash!*

*tuba blurt*

*slide whistle downward spiral*

*blip*

dead screen...

buffering graphic...

...

Loss of internet connection...

...

*slams keyboard*

{realizes it's not the keyboards fault}

{silently apologizes to keyboard}

{curses the innner-workings of computerized systems (a.k.a. Archos)}

...

Yes, it's the typical hype session involved with receiving the results.
I'm camped out on the Teal Carpet lead in and it's still a ways off til the beginning of the presentation.
But I have an account here and I wanna share some of the sights until it starts.
And before it REALLY begins I need to see (or gossip about) some celebrilosers in their teal carpet best!

Imagine for a moment...
The papparazzi are there!
The numberless throngs of twitter followers, fan-club devotees and sub-human journal&blogists are packed thick up both sides of the wide turquoise-tinged and threaded thoroughfare.
With their gowns gliding, thongs peeking and bys dangling, the celebrilosers begin showing up and showing off on their way in to the Yogi Stadium, in downtown Humptulips, WA.
You, YOU, have been given a microphone. Go ahead. Go ahead and ask that celebriloser a question you've always wanted to ask.
Go for it.

I'll start.

Hey! Sara??!
Why so quiet this season?


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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 Hey Celebrilosers, tell me your sec... suzzee 12-17-13 1
   from Hugh to you... tribephyl 12-17-13 2
       THUD suzzee 12-18-13 6
   Coco responds... tribephyl 12-17-13 3
       Awwwww <3 suzzee 12-18-13 7
 RE: LLCIV: Dakota 12-17-13 4
 The fallen stars... tribephyl 12-18-13 5
   RE: The fallen stars... jbug 12-18-13 8
 Slaggies Part1 tribephyl 12-22-13 9
   RE: Slaggies Part1 suzzee 12-23-13 10
 Just the awards... tribephyl 12-24-13 11
   RE: Just the awards... adricharlie 12-26-13 12
   RE: Just the awards... suzzee 12-28-13 13
   RE: Just the awards... Wallflower66 01-05-14 14
   RE: Just the awards... 5cats 01-13-14 15

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suzzee 5237 desperate attention whore postings
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12-17-13, 03:07 PM (EST)
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1. "Hey Celebrilosers, tell me your secrets (I'm writing a book)"
Hello fellow Celebrilosers and Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate (Most of us are celebrating the end of another Survivor season, but that's another forum.

Yes it's me, come a little closer and have a seat. Some of you on the couch, some of you right next to me. I don't bite >too hard<.


I've been meaning to ask some questions. Oooh! This is just like the Reunion Show, without the stench of desperation though.

Let me check my list...


Coco Coco darling, you seem to play the field. Is there a special monkey in your life or are you available?

Hugh Just being the Host will not get you out of the hot seat (but enough about me >wink<). Hugh, what's your number sweetie, that other one you gave me was the number of a recorded time and temperature line.

And one question for everyone else.

What was your luxury item that you brought to the lodge this season?


Ooooo, come a little closer, you look tasty...

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tribephyl 10139 desperate attention whore postings
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12-17-13, 04:48 PM (EST)
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2. "from Hugh to you..."
My # is 48/32/36

Quite the navel-ity scene, eh?


Chest wishes for this hairy-day season.

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suzzee 5237 desperate attention whore postings
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12-18-13, 11:04 AM (EST)
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6. "THUD"
Son of a boing-boing that really is magnificent. I can't talk anymore...


Ooooo, come a little closer, you look tasty...


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tribephyl 10139 desperate attention whore postings
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12-17-13, 05:09 PM (EST)
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3. "Coco responds..."
If you're referring to my love life, alas I am solo.
BUT Let me introduce you to my family...

Great-Great Grandfather, Gogo: (The Magician)

Grandfather, Bobo: (The Athlete)

Father, Dada: (The Accountant)

Uncle & Aunt, Gaga and Lolo: (The Detectives)


Mother, Lala: (The Secretary)

Cousin, Ohoh: (The Seductress)

Brother, Jojo: (The Incarcerated)

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suzzee 5237 desperate attention whore postings
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12-18-13, 11:06 AM (EST)
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7. "Awwwww <3"
Hugh steals my libido but you have my heart. <3 u Coco


Ooooo, come a little closer, you look tasty...

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Dakota 5702 desperate attention whore postings
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12-17-13, 07:47 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: LLCIV:Gala Awards Show"
LAST EDITED ON 12-17-13 AT 07:51 PM (EST)

Quiet. Yes. I'm working on the Suds in the Bucket thing.

Suds from Sara

But I'm ready for the festivities. If no one else shows up, we can hang out until all those COCOnut cocktails are gone.

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tribephyl 10139 desperate attention whore postings
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12-18-13, 02:49 AM (EST)
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5. "The fallen stars..."
Okay, since the show must go on... or...We can't watch white noise forever...

Without further ado...
(and before we even get to the Teal Carpet coverage) let us take a moment to ponder the severity of losing 4 celebri-losers along our way, in Vegas.
Sure, they could have gone home, back to their loving families. Yet, I can only sleep at night knowing ... wait ... thinking that we really LOST some good friends during our stay in Sin City.
Tis the season, so... Rest In Peace, dear...

Chris Hemsworth...

Jonathan Goldsmith...

Reba McEntire...

Jason Statham...


Your presences were sorely missed.
As consequence to being part of our memories of this season...

a 'shoulda been there' siggie addon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COMMERCIAL BREAK
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honey?
You ever get that not so phresh pheeling?

.


.


.



The new "smells like Vegas" scent will have your spouse wondering what REALLY happened in Vegas.

Sponsored by: "DBs are the new Black." a new show, debuting in the spring, on Spike.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COMMERCIAL END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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jbug 16804 desperate attention whore postings
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12-18-13, 11:38 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: The fallen stars..."
Walk on
Walk on
Nothing ever stays wrong that long
Walk on
Oh walk on
Donít just stand there in the storm
Walk toward the light till you find the sun
And youíll be better off in the long run
And walk on.

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tribephyl 10139 desperate attention whore postings
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12-22-13, 03:44 AM (EST)
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9. "Slaggies Part1"
Let's get to the awards presentation, shall we?

While Hugh has gone missing, what is a usual pheature of this broadcast is the slightly uncomfortable introductions done by the host, for each of the various celebrilosers whom will be highlighting each of the superlative nominations.
For this reason alone, you may call me Nothugh. As it will be, I, Nothugh who will be doing these uncomfortable introductions. So, let me commence with the compulsory duty...

Our first celbriloser presenter doesn't really require an introduction. They often trash that pre-conceived notation on their personal history at first chance, so without further introduction...

Sacha Baron Cohen!

Sacha: No one likes a protestor. Therefore, I am going to protest this gala and specifically this award.
I am and have always been the Biggest Closet Case!
Oh.
A what?
What's a glossophobe?
Oh.
Okay, protest over.

The Nominees for Closet Glossophobe are...
* Angelina Jolie-Pitt
* Dennis Rodman
* Dierk Bentley
* Sandra Bullock
* Sara Evans

and the winner is...
.
.
.
Sara Evans !!!


Look for Dakota to pretend to avoid having to give an acceptance speech, in public, below...

Now comes time to dim the lights, light the cauldrens and cauterize the wounds. Oh and welcome to the stage...

THE Mistress of the Dark, Elvira!

Elvira: Thanks Nothugh. I dare say you are not even a moderate replacement for the real Hugh. Scary, yes. But you're missing something huge.
Now that I've gotten that off my chest (not that it makes my chest any smaller) I present an award for those celebrilosers most likely to engage in 140 character decharacterizations.

The Nominees for Twitter Tyrant are...
* Dennis Rodman
* Jim Parsons
* Miley Cyrus
* Sacha Baron-Cohen
* Whoopi Goldberg

and the winner is...
.
.
.
Dennis Rodman !!!


Look for kingfish to rabble some rouses and wear blue grouses, below...


Our next presenter will no doubt correct my grammer, discount the validity of this show as well as make you all feel stupid wilest doing so,
Welcome to the stage...
Dr. Sheldon Cooper!

Jim: Logically speaking, that introduction lacked any real weight. BUT if the rest of you fall for it, might as well just play along. Now as to my presentation, I cannot say that I am a facebook follower. I really have no idea why I was chosen to present this award. But if social conventions compel me...

The Nominees for MOST phacebook phriendly are...
* Angelina Jolie-Pitt
* Hillary Rodham-Clinton
* Reba McEntire
* Sacha Baron-Cohen
* Whoopi Goldberg

and the winner is...
.
.
.
Angelina Jolie-Pitt !!!


Look for Flowerpower to graciously include you all in her acceptance speech, below...


Well, wasn't that nice.
Time to turn up the controversy a bit here.
Here to introduce the next award is the celebri-loser couple of the season...
Billie and Hillary!

Billie: Well, Hillary? I really thought you were gonna win that last slaggie.
Hillary: Oh, Billie. I can't be everyone's phriend.
Billie: Well, You do spend a lot of time on phacebook.
Hillary: Almost as much time as you spend behind a saxaphone.
Billie: I don't get it. Are you making a joke about your husband?
Hillary: Yes. I guess Nothugh got a bit confused when writing these sad little ditties.
Billie: Unlike the nominees for our next slaggie!


The Nominees for Biggest You-Tube Sensation are...
* Dennis Rodman
* Dierks Bentley
* Miley Cyrus
* Ron Jeremy
* Sara Evans

and the winner is...
.
.
.
Miley Cyrus !!!


Look for Dear Abby to twerk a bun split and single-finger salute, below...

Okay. Personally I would like to take a small bathroom break after that particular give-away.
Thank you, Miley.

WARDROBE!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COMMERCIAL BREAK
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*very v.e.r.y. dramatic voice over*

From the most boring producer in television history...

On the most boring channel ever to air television content...

With some nameless and yet even more boring actors dramatizing the heck out of a very boring man...

And his boring family...

And his slightly exciting friends. (?)

Amusing friends, really. Not that exciting.

Join the 2 or 3 other people, across the globe, and watch...

The Man Who Invented Vegas: The Television Mini-Series

(I know. It sounds better than it should. But I guarantee. It will be the worst 3 hours you will EVER spend in your life.

And to make it worse, we're gonna show it in 15 minute increments, once a week, and then take the last fifteen minutes and split it into 2 finales, Part 1 and Part 2. 13 episodes of yawn.)

Talk about NOT exciting...

Sorry, if the ads make it seem like it might be exciting. Not the intent of these ads.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COMMERCIAL END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We're not done yet, stay tuned...

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suzzee 5237 desperate attention whore postings
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12-23-13, 10:23 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: Slaggies Part1"
I love the fine print "Interested Inquiries please contact...". you mean it wasn't good enough for the Wal-Mart $3 book bin?

That guy is a little skeery anyway, sort of looks like Walt Disney's black sheep brother.

I'm heading for the little Mistress's room to go power my, well, you know, tee-hee, wouldn't want to have the girls get all shiny.


Ooooo, come a little closer, you look tasty...


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tribephyl 10139 desperate attention whore postings
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12-24-13, 06:58 PM (EST)
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11. "Just the awards..."
Happy Holidays, Losers!!!



5* The Nominees for Loser Lodge Winner are...
*
*
*
*
*

and the winner is...
.
.
.
DearAbby !!!

Look for Miley to toss this siggie onto the BIG pile of winner's siggies she has collected over the years, below...



6* The Nominees for BIGGEST awards SNOB are...
* Bille Piper
* Dierks Bentley
* Sandra Bullock
* Sara Evans
* Sacha Baron-Cohen

and the winner is...
.
.
.
Dierks Bentley !!!

Look for adricharlie to deny ever being here, below...


7* The Nominees for Playmate of the Decade are...
* Angelina Jolie-Pitt
* Billie Piper
* Cassandra Petersen
* Hillary Rodham-Clinton
* Sach Baron-Cohen

and the winner is...
.
.
.
Cassandra Petersen !!!

Look for suzzee to reveal her darker side, below...



8* The Nominees for BEST Method Actor/Actress are...
* Billie Piper
* Jim Parsons
* Sandra Bullock
* Sacha Baron-Cohen
* Whoopi Goldberg

and the winner is...
.
.
.
Dr. Sheldon Cooper !!!

Look for molaholic to parse this sentence, complete with notations, absolutions, alternate solutions and below...



9* The Nominees for Gala Awards Show Royalty are...
* Angelina Jolie-Pitt
* Cassandra Petersen
* Hillary Clinton
* Ron Jeremy
* Sandra Bullock

and the winner is...
.
.
.
Ron Jeremy !!!

Look for byoffer to show you his girthy crowning acheivement (as well as his phamily jewels), below...



0* The Nominees for EyeWitness to Disaster are...
* Billie Piper
* Hillary Rodham-Clinton
* Sandra Bullock
* Sacha Baron-Cohen
* Whoopi Goldberg

and the winner is...
.
.
.
ALL 5 of them !!!

Look for 5cats, Georj, qwerty, Scarlett and wall66 to burn this place to the ground, below...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COMMERCIAL BREAK
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you, from Hooters:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
COMMERCIAL END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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adricharlie 1328 desperate attention whore postings
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12-26-13, 08:47 AM (EST)
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12. "RE: Just the awards..."
I would like to thank all the little people that made this award possible......unfortunately I don't really know who anybody is since I was never really here.


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suzzee 5237 desperate attention whore postings
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12-28-13, 02:17 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Just the awards..."
Thank you very much to all who helped me stuff the brassier I mean ballot box. Hugs & kisses to all. Most especially I have a special thanks for Hugh. But the board is still PG13 and there's not a thing I can do here.

Tribe, thank you most of all for squeezing the Lodge into your busy life, smoochie-oochie!


Corrupting teenage boys since, well, none of your business how long...



Ooooo, come a little closer, you look tasty...

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Wallflower66 2443 desperate attention whore postings
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01-05-14, 05:12 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Just the awards..."
Thanks for another fun season, Tribey! xoxo



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5cats 1107 desperate attention whore postings
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01-13-14, 04:05 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Just the awards..."
Thankyou to all you losers and to the biggest loser of them all ~ TRIBE ~ for making this a great distraction from having to watch that suckass show!

I have my man Oscar and that's all that matters!


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