Welcome to the State of the SpoilingThis is the place where we try to put together the puzzle pieces from the promos, previews, press images, cheat sheets and all the crap that Probes dishes out each week.
The first clue we have is the episode title which was brought to us by Sheldor:
The Truth Works WellReally? On Survivor? Can you handle the truth? Okay then, you asked for truth, you are going to get the truth:
The episode will start in camp Takali because who cares what happened to CC. Well, Okay we’ll certainly hear from cry-baby David and how he didn’t play is idol but now he’s afraid he might be at the bottom, wash, rinse and repeat. Am I the only one that is sick and tired of David? Sometimes it feels that way but I had a head start because I didn’t like him right off the bat. I should get some company as we move forward.
When we finally do get to Takali Squidproquo tells us that FIGGY AND TAYLOR MAY REGRET AN EARLIER DECISION TO REVEAL THEIR BUDDING “SHOWMANCE” TO THEIR TRIBEMATES
Then my very favorite girl in the whole state of Connecticut (and parts of Massachusetts!) tells us that we are going to have a Survivor classic: The Blindfold challenge. I even lvoe her more when she rolls her eyes at Jeff when he says we are going to have another Survivor first.
The players will be playing for this:
As Tribe noted, there is a bigger table to the right so this must be the 2nd place reward. At least this season the players won’t be killing themselves for salt and pepper.
Being as generous as always, Tribe even gives us the evening’s program for free:
Vanua
Caller: Michelle
Blindfold seekers: Chris, David, and
Zeke
Blindfold Puzzler: Zeke Ika Bula
Caller: Jay
Blindfold Seekers: Sunday, Will, and
Michaela
Blindfold Puzzler: Michaela
Sit-Outs: Hannah and Bret
Takali
Caller: Figgy
Blindfold Seekers: Adam, Taylor, and
Ken
Blindfold Puzzler: Ken
Sit-Out: Jessica
With this, you can keep score of all the wrong left turns, the bumps and bruises from the comfort of your living room. My question is: Will this Michelle do like the other Fiji Michelle and fall off the platform?
(I know it’s off topic but if you’ve enjoyed Mario Lanza’s first two editions of Survivor funny 115, he is counting down the 3rd iteration for seasons 21 to 30)
We know that Ken will do a perfect face plant...
...a dive that is known as the “Lisi”. As for the first that Jeff mentioned this is what we will see because the show is presented for a General audience: Hannah faints from dehydration even if she was sitting out of the challenge.
However, Do you want to know the Truth?
What really happened was that Hannah wouldn’t stop cheering from the sidelines, jumping up and down and yelling “Go Ika Bula, Go Ika Bula!”
That drove Bret crazy and...
...he punched her out.Security personnel walked in and prevented Bret from doing the irreparable.
So who wins reward? I believe that a strong voice is definitely needed in these challenges so Ika Bula with Jay doing the yelling, has the advantage...
...and loud-mouth Figgy should earn takali second place over the soft spoken Michelle.
Strange choice isn’t it?After all this brouhaha and the cover-up to protect Bret's reputation, we get back to camp and we learn that some castaways worry there may be a snitch at camp after a hidden immunity idol is found.
Like Outsider wrote, an idol can only be found in Ikabula and with her habit of going for a good cry in the jungle, it could very well be Michaela who finds it. Once more Hannah walks in on someone finding an idol. Worried that she will snitch, Michaela punches out Hannah and production personnel have to step in another time.
I don’t konow why this keeps happening to me because I’m not an awful personSheldor gives us a video preview of the Immunity Challenge" Being Canadian, I am unable to see the content of this video because of Burnett's anti-canadianism so I hope you enjoy it.
Sheldor gives us the starting lineups:
Vanua
Coconut Bag Retrievers: Chris and
David
Ball Tilt Maze: Michelle and
Zeke Ika Bula
Coconut Bag Retrievers: Brett and
Jay
Ball Tilt Maze: Hannah and
Michaela
Sit-Outs: Sunday and Will
Takali
Coconut Bag Retrievers: Ken and
Taylor
Ball Tilt Maze: Figgy and
Jessica
Sit-Out: Adam
We have many inmages of the challenge. Here are just a few showing different stages:
With the post-challenges press images all being shot at camp Takali, we know that these five are going to Tribal Council
Talking about their vote, CTGirl wrote: That "you're so hot" moment (from Taylor to Figgy) reminded me of Blake in Guatemala talking about big boobs etc. during his boot episode. I wouldn't be surprised if Ken, Jessica and Adam take him out if they go to tribal. I also think Brett's time will be up soon. Getting airtime after being invisible isn't usually a good thing. The next two boots?
CTGirl, you’re so hot!
But here is the real Truth:
We have these images of Figgy talking to Ken, inviting him to join into a threesome with her and Taylor.
You see, Figgy likes Taylor’s blue eyes but she also likes Ken a lot... Judging by the 3rd image, it seems like Figgy thinks she's in for a fun evening.
Will Ken join the two and will their secret scene video get released on some X-rated site? Unfortunately, the episode will end before they have a chance to get together because they have to go see Jeff first.
As the tribe sits down, we see Hannah walking in behind them. She has to tell them that she isn’t an awful person and that she isn’t playing the victim but the people of Ika Bula have been a bit rough on her. Jeff first says that they are quite busy at the moment. Hannah says she understands but if he will just listen to her for a minute then he’ll realize that she isn’t a bad person so she shouldn’t get knocked around so much. Jeff says he’ll take care of it in the morning but Hannah says she just wants him to listen to her for a moment and then she’ll let him talk about the vote. Jeff hits her on the head with the torch snuffer and she finally shuts up.
Then Takali can proceed with the vote. How will they vote?
Well, we can always look at Flower Power’s great confessional tracker thread to see who is safe and who is in trouble this week. She agrees with CTGirl that Taylor is at extreme risk.
But it is all misdirection once more.
Here’s the Truth:
Intrigued by Figgy’s indecent proposal, Ken decides he wants in on that threesome so he votes with them against Jessica and, for added bonus, he winds up with the Legacy Advantage.
Please take the time to vote in CTGirl's voting thread although I am vexed that some of you didn't wait for my words of wisdom to do so...
Advisory note: No Hannahs were harmed during the writing of this fiction.
Brilliant!
Comprehensive!
Engaging!
Hilarious!
Sheer perfection from this...
to this...
And a bit of the suggestive naughty that us blowhemians are sooo verrry phond of.
One small note with regards to Hannah's desperate need to pull the focus back upon herself.
What if, akin to what happened the first time in Fiji, the celebratory movements produce an injurious effect?
I see Hannah using her left hand to cover her face.
I see Bret holding Hannah's right arm.
I can see the medic also holding Hannah's right arm.
What if Hannah, in celebration of Ika Bula kicking buttocks for the IC, strains, whacks or otherwise injures her right arm? Maybe it goes numb and she believes she might be having a stroke?
It would certainly explain Figgy's response...
(Whom, if you'll note, is still upon her callers pedestal.
BTW: I too already loathe David. He does, actually, continue to make himself an important feature of this season which is just annoying beyond belief. Kinda like Lisi but more proactive.
Regardless... THIS was an amazing SOTS!
Thank you, Michel.