Episode Seven, Part Two

Hello and welcome to a boring, ordinary SOTS. Blame it on TJ, whose fabulous effort last week left me feeling so depressed and unworthy that I broke the guidelines and started a duplicate thread. Do as I say, not as I do. I would like to formally apologize to Xavier before I skulk off into the corner and write my Joe Millionaire 2 summary.

That pelican-free intro was brought to you by “The Next Joe Millionaire”. No one’s watching, but we’ll keep showing it twice since the rest of our new shows are crap, too.

WHAT WE KNOW

Outcast Tribal Council

Here's the start of our episode, with the Outcasts voting for the two lucky ones who get a second chance. Webby was wonderful enough to sit in on a conference call and report that the Outcasts are under a gag order between the challenge and their TC, so no one got to do any campaigning to come back. After Lillian and Burton are voted back in, they will stick their hand in the Official Survivor Pier 1 urn ($19.95 on sale this week only, per Kirstie Alley) to determine which tribe they'll be joining.

I know, I know, you have loads of questions, including...

Q. Why Lil and Burt?
A: Because why else would their family members fly down for the Family challenge later in the game? And then there's forehead's Merge in Ep 8 thread mentions other sites confirming this information. Yes, TDT quotes Phoenix and Phoenix quotes TDT, but haven't you ever heard of protecting your source, people?

Q: Who gets on which tribe?
A: Well, it's determined randomly, but based on some analysis in the challenge thread, it looks like Lil is standing next to Tijuana, so we think she goes back to Morgan and Burton goes to Drake. This would also allow Burton to possibly reconcile with Rupert, which means they could be the two referenced in the SeeBS Misdirection.

Q: Any chance Jiffy could stick a poisonous snake in the urn instead of buffs, and we get to watch the two Outcast Returnees writhe on the ground in pain?
A: Now that would boost the ratings for sweeps, wouldn’t it?

Q: How could the Carolina Panthers lose to the Houston Texans while David Carr was out with an injury?
A: Shut up.

To merge or not to merge

That is the question of the week. On the one hand, we have forehead's Merge in Ep 8 thread. However, there seems to be some confusion over whether this is episode 7B, whether this is episode 8, and whether this SOTS is supposed to be funny. For those of you scoring at home, the unofficial answers are yes, no, and no. If this is indeed episode 7B, and not episode 8, then if spoiler is correct, we will not have a merge this episode. We will, however, wonder whether or not a pelican shows up to celebrate Osten’s departure.

On the other hand, we have pictures of dark buffs. Since we have been told the merged tribe has the "color" black, these could be their new buffs. This would not be the first time EPMB digitally altered a buff to hide game progression, though. Did Marky give his editors the big black crayola (I mean the crayon, you dirty-minded spoilers) and tell them to have at it, mates?

Speaking of buffs, what’s the deal with Andrew's buff? Is there a switch, or is this just an issue of how the buff is folded? Or did Marky give his editors the big teal crayola (I still mean the crayon) and tell them to have at it, mates? I know, I'm a conspiracy theorist.

And then there’s the Challenge Pics. Sure, we see two tribal mats, suggesting that they have not merged before showing up at Challenge Beach. But did Jiffy give them the news and the new buffs as a wedding present upon their arrival? Given all of those platforms, the spoiling jury is still out on whether this is a tribal or individual challenge. You have plenty of chances to check out the pics and make your opinions known. Some other pics that may be helpful can be found in this week's preview, and don’t forget to read Markopolo’s Yahoo! Premium coverage for those tidbits we didn’t get to see during episode 7A (aka The Wuss-Out).

So, what kind of wedding are we in for anyway? Is this for Christa, is this a reward to see some Panamanian tradition, or is this just a fancy way of telling us it's time to merge?

WHAT WE'RE SPECULATING

KeithFan argues that the Outcasts are in control, since they could strategically affect the balance of power at every TC.

Darrah's in a threesome...I mean a three-person alliance, you dirty minded spoilers. Since there are four Morgans left, who's the odd man - or woman - out? Since she's seen holding Rhino's hand during Osten's wuss-out, it seems like Andrew the leader may be at risk, fufilling Jiffy's TC comment that the crew mutinies against their leader.

Who's got the beard? Since Wussten is obviously not final 3 material, who could be our bearded man? Burton? Rhino? Andrew? Rupert? Sandra? (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Would it be fair to use prior votes as a tiebreaker, since Wuss-Out laid down his torch without casting a vote against a fellow Morgan? Will it even matter?

We've seen the Big Twist, we've seen the Big Regret, but have we seen the Big Lie? It's still the talk of Spoilertown.

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO

Who are the targets this week? Lil and Burt have been granted immunity this episode, so while one (or both) may be voting at TC, neither of those folks needs to prepare another set of final words just yet. Next week's bootee and the embarrassingly similar Episode 7B Boot Sheet both offer some speculation on our bootee. Cleaningwoman's Mrs. Rupert flies to Panama thread helps us to eliminate some of the contestants, including Darrah and Christa, because they have family members visiting. Since Rupert's wife flies down but flies back earlier than the rest, we can assume one of two things: 1) he gets booted the day before the challenge or 2) she leaves early because she has a young child. Either way, Rupert's safe for now.

So, if Lil, Burt, Christa, Darrah, and Rupert are safe this week, that means that Tijuana, Andrew, Rhino, Jon, and Sandra are vulnerable. Seems like folks are leaning toward Andrew if Morgan goes to TC, Jon if it's Drake. And if it’s individual, the proclaimed Morgan leader and the Drake butthead would seem like prime targets for the other tribes. Out of the two, Andrew looks like he’s in the greatest risk this week. Remember that when Sherps asks for your vote. (Edited to add: And don't forget to mock Nailbone for his blatant vote rules violation last week!)

COMING ATTRACTIONS

The next episode title? Shocking, Simply Shocking!

Finale is Sunday, December 14 from Panama. Wake the kids, phone the neighbors, and set your VCR's if it's Christmas pageant night.

The Survivors are moving all over the place on other spoiling sites. Will Rupert stick around longer than previously expected? Is there a solid tip that Sandra makes final 3? Are Darrah and Lillian still the final 2? Where is the bad soap opera music when you need it for drama?

Are you a Rupert lover or a hater? Well, no matter what, be prepared to see him in Survivor All-Stars. Sing with me, "Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me." But reports are also showing Sandra coming back as well. Some sites speculate that this means they make final 4. To me, that's like saying that Jon is the front-runner to win S7, since we've seen his freakish naked butt, and two other Survivor champs were shown naked. I need more proof than that, baby. Anyhoo, keep up with all of the Survivor 8/ASS spoilers in this forum.

SOTS is provided by SurvivorBlows.com as a service to our readers. The purpose of this post is to consolidate the threads in the Spoiler Forum pertaining to this week's episode. Feel free to reply to this post if you feel that a theory you support was not adequately represented in this message... Please use this thread for unified discussion of all topics as we approach the next episode.

We really do have guidelines here. Believe it or not, the Guidelines make things more fun. Really.