LAST EDITED ON 11-21-11 AT 01:08 AM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 11-20-11 AT 02:52 PM (EST)

Please check out Kircon's excellent summary of episode 9 http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/DCForumID1/4184.shtml and RollDice’s always insightful Be the Survivor http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/DCForumID1/4185.shtml

“Will anyone seize the opportunity to team with Dawn and Whitney to turn the game upside down?” Promises, promises, Jeff. I’ve been down this road with you before. Many times.

"Running the Show"

Now who could that be? Think this refers to Coach? Any bets on how many times Coach denies he is the leader of the alliance? If I were going with a Biblical theme, I would say three. Any other takers?

Recrap. Even though the merge has happened there are still 2 distinct tribes {insert Qwerty's shocked face}. We are reminded (again) how Cochran ‘betrayed’ his tribe and we see the clip of Whitney being disgusted with Cochran (again). Ozzy gets his fish-gathering butt sent to Redemption ‘island’ (again) and we hear his strategy of treating people nice, feeding them and sending them home (again). Whitney shows her expertise with balls (or at least one ball) and wins immunity. Albert tries to stir something up, it fizzles (again) and Jim gets sent to Redemption ‘island’ so he can commiserate with his buddies.

REDEMPTION ‘ISLAND’ NIGHT 24
Wooooo. Scary shot of a scarrrrrrry hermit crab. Or is this supposed to be representative of Ozzy? If that is the intention -- pretty clever, camera guy!

We get a spooky camera angle of Jim walking up to a sleeping Keith and Ozzy. The scary music starts and we get a close up of Jim’s face. It is obvious, something is not right and he stares hungrily at the sleeping forms. He licks his parched lips and s l o w l y takes out his knife and advances…..
No? SIGH. Jim comes up on Ozzy and Keith and they talk about how they should have been the final three blah, blah, blah.
It is not a total wash because Jim provides us with the first “Cult of Coach” reference of the episode. “that is a CULT unlike I have ever seen before and the longer that Coach has them believing that they’re all one tribe, the more likely it is that he wins the million dollars.” Not bad for someone who was labeled ‘dead man walking’ in the first episode.

You know, I think I will take a shot every time the world “Cult” or a religious symbol is shown or referred to. It will make this episode a lot more fun tolerable to watch.

Ozzy dispenses his wise advice “I hate to say I told you so, Gentlemen so I won’t say it.” Very mature, Oscar. We really admire your restraint. Honestly. Hey, who decided to make Cochran the double agent anyway? Huh? Lucky for you he decided to give your HII back. Not that it helped you much.

Te Tuna (still NIGHT 24)
Now back to Te Tuna, where the camera man thinks it’s very important to show that there are things that crawl in the night. A centipede? Is that the best you can do? Really? I had scarier things crawling around my first apartment when I moved in.

Coach’s statement that he tries not to judge people makes me laugh. Do I even need to post a HYPOCRISY ALERT? He then asserts that “Jim is the most dangerous type of person. When the chips are down, he’ll stab you in the back.” Does Coach know our “Medical Marijuana Dispenser’s poker playing alter ego? I must admit, Coach plays the snake oil salesman/sleazy preacher very well and continues to tell the cohort that they are all one big happy family, they have nothing to worry about and to trust him. Does he realize that at least some of the others will figure out as the Savaii numbers decrease, they will eventually have to turn and cannibalize their own? Captain Obvious also confesses that more blindsides happen than alliances stay together. If this is news to the rest of the tribe, he is a shoe-in to win the million.

It does make the hair on the back of my neck stand up when Coach says things that make sense. I wonder if he is becoming saner (or the meds are working better) or if I am losing my tenuous grip on reality. Right now, I will give you even odds on either.

We also get our first denial from Coach that he is in charge “I don’t dictate anything, I never tell these people what to do.”

Now we get the clay pigeon confessional from Whitney. “Coach is running this show like he is Jesus” (DRINK! Shot 2 for those of you keeping track). Note: she did not say “Like he thinks he is Jesus” which would still be pretty warped, but she said “like he is Jesus” I don’t know what Christian denomination Whitney has been exposed to but it is pretty sad there are a bunch of people who think Coach exemplifies the qualities of their Lord and Saviour. Maybe she was raised by the pygmy tribe that worshipped Coach’s butt.

Considering we are now just at the opening theme, this does not bode well for my liver.

Back at Te Tuna
Te Tuna, how in the heck did they come up with that name? The only fish that Ozzy hasn’t caught? The real reason must be top secret because CBS won’t show the video in my geographical region. Not that I blame them. You just can’t trust us sneaky Canadians.
Whitney cannot understand how smart people can be so stupid. By ‘stupid’, Whitney means people that act in their best interest rather than hers. Small but important distinction. I would not be surprised if she started stomping her feet and screaming “it’s not FAIR!”
And dear Whitney, unless you can pull off a miracle (DRINK – what? You mean my references can’t be used for the drinking tally? It’s a conflict of interest? Crap!), the stupid people will still be hanging around camp and you will be long gone.

TE TUNA DAY 25

Yes, Ozzy can fish. But, other members of the tribe also have important roles. Take Coach and Cochran (I refrain from adding ‘Please. Take them.’) They are currently doing the Very Important Job of Raising the Sun because if they weren’t Raising the Sun, the earth would stop its rotation and the tribe would be plunged into perpetual darkness. Let’s see Ozzy try and catch fish then. Hah!

(I would like to point out to Coach that what he calls 45 degree angle is actually more like 90 degrees. Maybe he is adjusting the “Raising the Sun” routine in deference to Cochran’s lack of coordination.)

BARF BAG ALERT. One of the creepiest lines ever spoken in Survivor history (if not the creepiest, then it should at least make top 10)

Cochran - “As painful as it is for me to admit it, I am drinking the Coach Kool-Aid (Qwerty shot tally 3), but I am drinking it very slowly, not in huge gulps, but taking little ginger sips…” OK, I just threw up a little in my mouth and I don’t think it has anything to do with the gastrointestinal virus that just went through the Qwerty household. Anyway, I miss the rest of him describing how he would drink Coach’s fluids because I decided to copy a coping mechanism of my son’s and curl into a fetal position, cover my ears, screw shut my eyes, rock back and forth and scream. It actually helps. What the heck is a ‘ginger sip’ anyway? I am too scared to even look that up. Anyone?

And I have some advice for Cochran. Dude, I want to like you. Really I do. I like nerds. I’ve even loved some of them. Show me a guy that can write his own perl script and use ‘lagomorph’ correctly in a sentence and I go weak in the knees. But seriously, you are not rocking the sweater vest. Unless you are built like Jorgen Von Strangle (10 points for your house if you understand that reference), you have to wear a shirt underneath that thing
Right way to wear a sweater vest....................... Wrong way.
.............................

Right way .................................................... Wrong
..........................

But I will have to give credit where credit is due. Cochran is pinking up a bit. He is losing that “curds and whey’ pallor that he was sporting in the beginning. I may have to rethink my submission for Crayola’s contest to name a new crayon colour and go with my backup of “Snooki Orange” rather than the Cochran Pasty Pallor Grey.

Thankfully, the camera crew took pity on us, and interspersed shots of Sweater-vest Man with bare-chested Albert.
And the Absbert Albert shots are not gratuitous no matter what Mr. Qwerty says. While Absbert Albert is fishing, Coach is sowing seeds of doubt about his right hand man to Cochran. The production staff knows how important it is to have visual reinforcement.

Duck! Here comes Coach denial #2 “Everyone always says I’m in control of the game, but I am really not.” Thank goodness I didn’t make this part of the drinking game.

Sweater-vest man aka mini-Captain Obvious figures there might be some sort of power struggle between Coach and Albert. After Coach basically told him there was a power struggle between the two of them. The brilliance of Sweater-vest man is blinding.

We now are taken to Redemption "island” for the “duel”. As we zoom in (production sure loves those overhead shots), the apparati look like the three crosses at Mount Calvary. (DRINK SHOT #4)
This is another endurance challenge (not duel since there are more than two people involved, but considering how MB defines ‘island’ and there has been intense discussion whether Jeff can tally a single vote, I guess I’ll let it slide and not mention it. Just like Ozzy didn't say "I told you so.")

Our fearsome threesome who should have been the final three need to hold their arms in the air, balancing poles against a lever like thing. Drop the arms, the poles drop and you are out of here and on the jury. Whitney is shocked, (shocked SHOCKED! I tell ya!) that there will be a jury. I wonder how she thought the winner was chosen.

Jeff rambles on about not being distracted by people talking (I am waiting for the day one of the contestants snaps and screams “SHUT THE F--- UP JEFF”, Ozzy is in the zone with a look of intense concentration.
The CGI’ed cowboy says “stay focused, Jim.” And Brandon replies “Yeah”. It is obvious the CGI’ed guy (Rick?) is not really there because Jeff can neither see or hear him. Here’s the proof. Jeff asked Brandon who he was rooting for. If Rick(?) really existed, it would look pretty silly for Jeff to ask Brandon when Brandon responded in the affirmative to Rick.

Whitney decides to give her virtual kerchief to Keith as her champion.

Jeff then asks who’s rooting for Ozzy. Cue the crickets.
Our little Jeff takes unholy delight in rubbing Ozzy’s face in it.

Jim is out and Jeff explains to Whitney that Jim is now the first member of the jury. Jeff then explains to Whitney Keith and Ozzy that if they want to win this game, they have to win this duel (which is now a proper duel) first.

Ozzy makes some bold moves to reposition his pole (did I really just type that?), Keith can’t handle his (get your minds out if the gutter) and becomes the second member of the jury. Whitney hides her shock well. Not that Keith lost to Ozzy, but that there is a second jury member.

Ozzy is still ticked at the snub. Hey, Ozzy baby, take it as a compliment. The tribe members obviously decided to suck up to the people they know would be on the jury and see you as a huge threat.

After Jeff reminds us (again) that Ozzy had no support, Ozzy repeats he’s mantra of how he will be nice, feed and eat any one who comes to Redemption ‘island’. Wait a sec – rewinds PVR. Beat. Not eat. That makes much more sense. He will beat anyone who comes to redemption ‘island’. Whew.

Jim asks if there is a secret double redemption island. Curse you, Jim! Curse you to unholy heck! Now we know what to expect for Survivor 24. Keith throws his buff in the fire and does the sign of the cross. WTH was that about? (DRINK SHOT #5)

We cut to a montage of Ozzy snorkeling and fishing just offshore of Redemption 'island'. Thank Cod (get it? Cod? Ha ha ha ha! I crack myself up!) he can fish. I was so worried the poor boy would waste away starving. Nice shot of Ozzy standing on top of a coconut tree. Why he is standing up there (aside from the way cool camera shot) I do not know. I am sure this will be shown over and over and over again during the recraps.

Te TUNA DAY 26

CGI Cowboy is fiddling with the net. Notice how he doesn’t answer Coach? It’s because he is not really there.

Dawn finally figures out that she will do anything to stay now. Little late Dawn, don’t you think?
Cochran comforts her with the gentle words -- “It’s possible our interests intersect.” Ahh, could our boy be any more geeky? And the romance. Think Dawn is swept off her feet?
Cochran thinks he could be an angel (SHOT 6) of mercy for Dawn and Whitney (but I am sure she wouldn't want help from someone who disgusts her so much) and has to take a leap of faith (SHOT 7) that he is making the right decision.

Finally we get to the immunity challenge.
This one requires balance and coordination. Our castaways have to race with bowls of rice precariously perched on their heads over steroid enhanced teetertotters. I think it is safe to say that Sweater-vest man and his poofy hair won’t do well here.

BlockheadBrandon may do well here.

I hope you can appreciate my restraint, because Jeff says a bunch of things that can be (mis)construed as really really dirty. I am not going to touch those with a 10 foot pole.
As expected, Cochran is pretty useless. Coach and Absbert don’t do much better. Jeff does this weird body shimmy thing which makes me wonder if he has sand in his tighty whities. We get a gratuitous crotch shot of Dawn (thanks camera guy!). Jeff says another dirty thing and I resist writing it down (YEAH ME!).

Blockhead, Dawn and Sophie are neck and neck. Sophie takes a chance and overfills her bowl. Ahh, sweet, sweet victory as Sophie wins immunity! And no puking either!

Victory is short lived as Jeff announces there will be a double elimination twist at tribal council.

And the "Clueless Statement of the Episode" Award goes to our guy Cochran who said he thought there was a chance he could excel at this one. Really?

But he is not so clueless that he doesn't figure out that the most shocking twist in Survivor history will be a double elimination.

Absbert is waylaid by Dawn and Whitney who try and hatch a plan to save their sorry little behinds. Absbert figures Whitney deserves to be here more than Edna because Edna has done nothing but ride on Coach's coat tails. I dunno, the fact he is saying this to Whitney with no sense of irony, makes me want to giggle.

mini barf alert What in the heck is Brandon wearing? Is that what I think it is? It is! Maybe we can rename this episode to the Brotherhood of the travelling Sweater-vest. I guess it is less gross than the Brotherhood of the travelling pants. But EWWWWW! Wear a shirt under that. Do men really share clothes as a bonding experience? I think it is kind of weird when females do this, but who am I to judge.

Albert whips Cochran’s butt at checkers and preys on his insecurities (is this foreshadowing for a future, far more interesting episode?).

Watching Cochran trying to figure out if he is 'flipping' or 'flopping' is making my neck hurt.

Albert is still gunning for Edna by pointing out Survivor is not Outorganize, Outclean and Outgather. I wonder if he can name the actual catch phrase. He looks a little hesitant.

And Coach (who is not running the alliance, by the way) is not a happy camper that Albert is either securing jury votes or hatching a counter plan. He threatens instant death to anyone who goes against the plan. But remember, he's not in charge.

TRIBAL COUNCIL

Qwertypie frowned at the television set. This was not going well at all. No gross out food challenges, Coach making semi-sense more and more. Eye Candy Keith now on the jury , sporting the stupidiest looking soul patch/goatee she’d had ever seen. And the promised twist? She had seen the signs before. She closed her eyes and prayed for strength – this called for drastic measures.
She paused the PVR and checked to see if her family was truly asleep. She crept quietly down the hall and took out her Swiss Army knife from her pocket. She didn’t need to carry it, not anymore, but some habits were hard to break. The cold air return cover beckoned her, daring her to come closer. She took a deep breath and knelt down beside the old grate covered in rust and chipped paint.
But was she doing the right thing? She thought back to her previous life, the life she left behind, and not by choice. She never thought it would come to this, but she was desperate. Slowly, she worked at the screws holding the grate in place, praying that she wouldn’t strip the threads bare.
Finally the last screw gave way and she gently pried the cover off. Talking a deep breath, she put her hand in the murky depths.
At first she thought the vent was empty except for years’ worth of dust. She fought the panic and leaned in and rooted around until her hand brush against velvet. She released the breath she didn’t realize she was holding and drew out a small pouch. It was originally purple, but was now a dull gray from all the dust.
Qwerty carefully undid the knot and loosened the string. She pulled out a small, roughly hewn a piece of wood. She could almost hear it hum. She gripped it tightly, sighed and walked back to the living room. Sitting on the floor crosslegged, she looked at the chunk more closely. You could still make out the goa'uld markings. This was her past. This piece of wood was the reason for her present. This was her connection with Jeff.
She hit the play button on the remote. It was a huge gamble. Not only would she potentially expose herself and her family to the goa’uld, she risked exposing Jeff if this caused his latent memories to resurface. But the summary was in jeopardy. Everything else faded in importance. She gripped the piece of the reliquary, the artifact that was now Jeff’s snuffer tightly in her hand and closed her eyes.
“Jeff, what am I going to do?” she whispered. “You have to help me! Save the summary!”
She could feel the breach in the space-time continuum and opened her eyes. She watched Jeff on the screen look around confused, shake his head and start tribal council. She hoped it was enough.

Jeff surveys the people in front of him who are sporting the whitest, gleamiest teeth known to humankind. I wonder how they have whiter teeth than Jeff who (I would assume) has more reliable access to dental hygiene products.
Jeff (who is already aware this is shaping up to be the most boring episode ever) asks Dawn for confirmation that she has been trying to find a crack in the alliance and mount a counterattack. She knows she has absolutely nothing to lose and throws out a challenge to the 5th, 6th and 7th people in the alliance to join her and Whitney.
Whitney confirms that Cochran is in 7th place in the alliance. Jeff immediately channels Dr. Phil and asks Cochran how does that make him feel?
Cochran gives a vague answer. “Maybe, in the future, I’ll start trying to do something.” Blah, blah blah.
.
Jeff tries again to light a fire under Cochran’s butt. Cochran rambles on about the grammatical verb tense he was speaking in. Jeff tries a third time. “True or false? This is a great time for someone to make a big move.” HINT, HINT, NUDGE, NUDGE. Cochran agrees this would be perfect time to make a big moves and he loves big moves. So of course, it means he won’t.
Cochran turns out to be a dud, so Jeff moves to Coach, hoping at least Coach will start speaking in rhyme, do an interpretive dance light himself on fire. Anything to save this tribal council.
Coach declares "Contrary to popular belief, I am not running the show" (DENIAL 3). Albert tells Jeff that Coach is just a figure head and not the leader of him or the group. Coach should be thrilled that someone agrees with his declarations of non-leaderness, but Coach looks a little ticked.
"I don't feel like I am a leader of this tribe" (DENIAL 4)
Crap! I was so close to nailing the Coach denial score, but I guess I can’t blame him. I don’t think I would want to take credit for leading this team either.
Jeff goes tally the votes.
DAWN, EDNA, DAWN, EDNA, DON (quick everyone - who wrote that one?), DAWN and DAWN.

Jeff then announces the shocking twist. It’s another immunity challenge with immediate vote.!!!!! The only person who seems surprised is Whitney.
It's sudden death multiple choice!
First question is about how much purified water should a survivor drink every day? Rick, Albert and Edna get it wrong (I am surprised at this one. Albert with his sports connection, Edna with her medical background and CGI Rick with the ranching experience would get this). Answer is one gallon.
Second question: "True or False. Coconut crab gets its name because its favorite food is coconut." TRUE Cochran and Brandon are out. I thought Cochran would have known the survivor guide book inside and out. He should be sweating bullets right now. He needed to win this one, or at least out last Whitney.
Third Question" Soft edible flesh found in the stalk of a fallen coconut is called?” Whitney and Sophie know the answer is heart of Palm. Coach does not.
Last question: “although they are quite delicious, you should not try and remove giant South Pacific clams from the ocean because they are quite dangerous.” Whitney answers “True” Sophie “False”. Correct answer is false and Sophie grabs her immunity necklace back. Cochran breathes a sigh of relief.
Jeff tallies the votes even though we all know it’s unnecessary. Jeff snuffs Whitney’s torch with his goa’uld reliquary* snuffer and Whitney is sent to Redemption ‘island’.
And mercifully, the credits roll.
Next time on Survivor (which will be much more interesting than this episode)
Brandon doesn’t catch fish.
Coach decides he wants to be called Zeus. Really? You couldn’t have pulled that crap this week? You know how much fun that would have been to write out instead of rational Coach. BAH! You disgust me! You threw me under the bus!
Cochran shows his major or minor is not Classical mythology because it was Zeus’s dad (Kronos) that ate his children. Zeus only ate one of his kids. And no word of a lie, my 8 year old daughter knows that. She is now convinced she is smarter than Cochrane.

*I'll let you decide for yourself
vs.

• RE: s23 ep 10 "Running the Show" or "the most Boring non-recrap episode ever",qwertypie, 03:01 PM, 11-20-11
• RE: s23 ep 10 "Running the Show" or "the most Boring non-recrap episode ever",kingfish, 04:55 PM, 11-20-11
• RE: s23 ep 10 "Running the Show" or "the most Boring non-recrap episode ever",Belle Book, 06:20 PM, 11-20-11
• Nice!,foonermints, 09:55 PM, 11-20-11
  • RE: Nice!,qwertypie, 10:46 PM, 11-20-11
• RE: s23 ep 10 "Running the Show" or "the most Boring non-recrap episode ever",michel, 09:12 PM, 11-21-11
• THUD,suzzee, 09:57 AM, 11-22-11
  • For you Suzzee,agman, 07:24 PM, 11-23-11
• RE: s23 ep 10 "Running the Show" or "the most Boring non-recrap episode ever",qwertypie, 08:43 PM, 11-23-11

LAST EDITED ON 11-20-11 AT 03:01 PM (EST)

Be gentle!

Very funny, Q.

At first I was agreeing with the title, because it was very boring, the saving grace was that it was also very short. But then, when I re-read it, it had turned into a delightfully entertaining drinking game (at you suggestion I also began to do shots). It had also become longer, and that turned out to be a good thing, and not at all boring. How nice. Very well done, in spite of all the hardships (you forgot to mention the polar bear attacks and the marauding Eskimos).

Yeah, it was Cronos who ate his children (and would've eaten Zeus too if Zeus's mother, Rhea, hadn't saved him), not Zeus. Although there was one myth where Zeus learned that if he had a son by Metis, it would surpass him so he swallowed Metis while she was still pregnant and Athena emerged from Zeus's own head! Man, that must've hurt! Maybe Zeus should've just waited until he found out whether or not his child was a boy before he swallowed Metis.

But I didn't see the goa'uld.

Best. Mullet. Eveh!

Maybe I'll add the back story later. Poor Jeff was so attached to his 'magic snuffer', he almost doomed the entire human race.