Now that Shakesvivor has been lauded by all on the boards as a "roaring success" (STC, from a thresd in BV forum since locked for absolutely NO apparent reason by the Man), it is time to get a head start on the next installment....

SHAKESVIVOR II: It's All In Your Head

I don't think I have to mention that Shakesvivor I castmembers are not eligible, although posters that made cameo appearances in SV are eligible to compete for the title of Ultimate Shakesvivor!

So, in no less than 500 words, please explain why you would make a good contestant on Shakesvivor.

Once again, keep in mind that just because you don't apply, that doesn't mean you won't get picked. And I reserve the right to drag all of your names and reputations through the mud in an effort to generate conflict, although judging by the first season, I think you guys will be able to handle that part all on your own.

Good luck and I hope to see you on the sound stage!

Okay Ayak, you can lock this thresd now, that is if you can find the time to fit it in to your busy daily fascist schedule of bombing pizza parlors and crushing babys' heads with your boot heel in an effort to save bullets.

FIGHT THE POWER

• Sorry, but no,AyatollahKhomeini, 03:52 PM, 08-28-01
• RE: Now accepting appicaltions for Shakesvivor II,moonbaby, 04:01 PM, 08-28-01
  • RE: Now accepting appicaltions for Shakesvivor II,Drive My Car, 04:03 PM, 08-28-01
  • Getting married in Heaven,dangerkitty, 07:42 PM, 08-28-01
    • ROFL!,AyatollahKhomeini, 10:33 PM, 08-28-01
• Who's Afraid of Shakes the Clown?,Criminals, 04:06 PM, 08-28-01
  • RE: Who's Afraid of Shakes the Clown?,SherpaDave, 05:52 PM, 08-28-01
    • RE: Who's Afraid of Shakes the Clown?,VampKira, 08:02 PM, 08-28-01
      • RE: Who's Afraid of Shakes the Clown?,GG, 05:56 PM, 08-29-01
        • RE: Who's Afraid of Shakes the Clown?,Drive My Car, 07:38 PM, 08-29-01
          • RE: Who's Afraid of Shakes the Clown?,LadyT, 07:54 PM, 08-29-01
            • RE: Who's Afraid of Shakes the Clown?,Drive My Car, 09:19 PM, 08-29-01
• RE: Now accepting appicaltions for Shakesvivor II,mistofleas, 04:19 PM, 08-28-01
• RE: Now accepting appicaltions for Shakesvivor II,ItzLisa, 05:19 PM, 08-28-01
  • Let the Tirade Continue...,ItzLisa, 01:29 PM, 08-29-01
    • RE: Let the Tirade Continue...,ItzLisa, 01:29 PM, 08-29-01
      • RE: Let the Tirade Continue...,ItzLisa, 01:31 PM, 08-29-01
        • RE: Let the Tirade Continue...,ItzLisa, 01:35 PM, 08-29-01
          • RE: Let the Tirade Continue...,Drive My Car, 01:57 PM, 08-29-01
            • RE: Let the Tirade Continue...,PepeLePew13, 02:20 PM, 08-29-01
            • _______, clown.,VampKira, 02:54 PM, 08-29-01
              • RE: _______, clown.,Drive My Car, 03:37 PM, 08-29-01
                • RE: _______, clown.,ItzLisa, 07:07 AM, 08-30-01
• RE: Now accepting appicaltions for Shakesvivor II,not sleeeve, 05:48 PM, 08-28-01
  • RE: Now accepting appicaltions for Shakesvivor II,RudyRules, 07:46 PM, 08-28-01
• RE: Now accepting appicaltions for Shakesvivor II,Pendragon, 05:50 PM, 08-28-01
  • RE: Now accepting appicaltions for Shakesvivor II,VampKira, 08:12 PM, 08-28-01
• RE: Now accepting appicaltions for Shakesvivor II,LadyT, 05:52 PM, 08-28-01
  • LadyT's proof,AyatollahKhomeini, 06:30 PM, 08-28-01
    • RE: LadyT's proof,ItzLisa, 11:01 PM, 08-28-01
      • RE: LadyT's proof,LadyT, 11:04 PM, 08-28-01
        • No need to apologize,AyatollahKhomeini, 10:15 AM, 08-29-01

shakes, thanks for a good laugh with this post. Unfortunately, like the passenger pigeon, "Shakesvivor" is headed for extinction.

As you well know, I have no sympathy for terrorists of any ilk, which is why your prior thread was locked. I won't lock this one, though.

It's time to call:

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LAST EDITED ON 08-28-01 AT 07:43 PM (EST)

A young couple is involved in a fatal car accident the morning before their wedding day. As they sit at the Pearly Gates, they wonder: can they get married in Heaven? When St. Peter arrives, they pose the question to him.

"I don't know," says St. Peter. "No one has ever asked that before. Let me go check."

So off he goes, and a lot of time passes - a couple of months, in fact. Meanwhile, the couple continues to talk about it and they start to realize the drawbacks, what with the eternal aspect and all. What if it doesn't work out?

Another month goes by, and St. Peter finally returns, looking a bit bedraggled.

"Yes," he says. "You can get married in Heaven."

The couple asks, "And just in case something goes wrong - can we get divorced in Heaven, too?"

St. Peter slams down his clipboard in fury, his face turning beet red. The frightened couple recoils. "What's wrong? What have we done?"

St. Peter answers, "It took me three months to find a preacher up here. How long do you think it will take me to find a lawyer?"

dangerkitty

...except I'm beginning to wonder if shakes wouldn't be a better consultant than lawyer. After all, "consultant" is defined as follows:

the guy who arrives at the battleground after the war is over and bayonets the wounded.

Isn't it amazing that so small a vessel can contain so much bitterness? I shudder to imagine the creature we'll see when the realization finally hits that having been on a third-rate series on a fourth-rate network hasn't created the star he'd always dreamt of being.

To paraphrase Albee: Shakes and Mikey. Sad, sad, sad.

My apologies, especially to my fellow criminals, for posting the above using the wrong login. Thought I'd logged out and back in under my usual name, but hadn't. The above represents my opinion and mine only. While the other criminals may well agree to it, I certainly can't assume that they do. I don't apologize for the post itself, but I am sorry for using a login that represents three other people to post it. Sorry 'bout that.

Yeah, I'm a DAW. Is that a problem?

LAST EDITED ON 08-28-01 AT 10:55 PM (EST)

S'aaaaaaight Dave.. *hugs*

*grin*
"We've trivialized the Vampire. I think it happened about the time 'Count Chocula' found its way to cereal boxes."
-F. Paul Wilson, author 'Midnight Mass' a vampire novella

Du ar min hjälte, Supermänniska

I Am A Clown

See the funny little clown
See the puppet on a string
Wind him up and he will sing
Give him candy and he'll dance
But be certain not to feel his funny face is real

Step right up and see him folks
Couldn't you die at all his jokes
Couldn't you cry at all his tricks
He'll come up with in a fix
But be certain not to stray
'Cause he'll steal your heart away

I am a clown
I am a clown
You'll always see me smile
You'll never see me frown
Sometimes my scenes are good
Sometimes they're bad
Not funny ha-ha
Funny sad
I am a clown
Look at the clown
Always the same routine
I never change
Not funny ho-ho
Funny strange

Sometimes I think the world is a circus town
Sometimes I feel like a lonely inside show
Man on the flying trapeze
He ain't never coming down
He knows that I know if you look inside
If I didn't hide
You might decide you didn't want me

I am a clown
That's why I'm a clown
Just like the fool on the hill
Begging to come down
I want to live again
I want to feel
Tell me you love me
Make me real
Tell me you love me
Make me real
Tell me you love me
Make me real

Who's afraid? Indeed. Especially if Shakes the Clown is actually David Cassidy.

¬GG¬
*who's thinking, "how appropriate"*

GG Darling!!!!

I Love David Cassidy!!!

I think I love you
then what am I so afraid of?

*loves David Cassidy too, but forgets the rest of the song*

-----------------------
"So what are my chances
of honest advances
I'd say low
Better to win
by admitting my sin
than to lose with a halo"
-Evita

I'm afraid that I'm not sure of
a Love there is no cure for

In your dreams clown boy.

mistofleas

Shut up, Shakes.

****************************************

...Jerk Head...

****************************************

...butt-wad...

****************************************

LAST EDITED ON 08-29-01 AT 01:32 PM (EST)

...I don't see any new Powerpuff Girls articles in my email, dorkface...

Edit because I hadn't used "dorkface", and it was a good one!
****************************************

Stupid Clown...

****************************************

(Who hopes Shakes knows she's only venting, but deep down inside still loves the Clown...or thinks so anyway...lemme ponder that for a while and get back to you....)

Hey!!!
I'm supposed to say "Stupid Clown"

You go, girls! I have plenty more terms that can be loaned.

As for myself... let's see... the choices I have... be on SVII or get a nail in the head, hit by a truck, be exposed to the West Nile virus, get run over by a sea-faring kangaroo, eaten by lions, hmmm these are all good choices except the SVII one.

"Permit me to introduce myself. I am Pepe Le Pew, your lover."

fuggin clown!

"We've trivialized the Vampire. I think it happened about the time 'Count Chocula' found its way to cereal boxes."
-F. Paul Wilson, author 'Midnight Mass' a vampire novella

Du ar min hjälte, Supermänniska

So does this mean you girls won't be at the next W.L.S.F.C. meeting. I kinda need to know so I can plan the refreshments and stuff.

Aaaah, Buglet, I spit on ze cookies and ze froot punch!!! (*paaah-TOOOEY!!!*)

****************************************

Can I be on this one???

Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please!!! (Exactly 500 words!!!)

LMAO!

Anyway, the other day I had this dream.

In it, I was standing at the edge of this cliff overlooking the ocean. Waves crashed on the rocks below, sending white foam almost as high as the cliff itself. It was white and foamy like the head of a good beer. Warm salt air blew into my face and blew my hair back from my forehead. The air had a slight sting, like the salt from the ocean had crysatlized and peppered my face. It wasn't un unpleasent sensation at all. It was comforting. At the edge of the horizon where the water met the sky, the sun was only a half circle. As it dropped into the endless ocean, I almost imagined that I heard it sizzle and spit. All in all, it was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.

Suddenly a voice spoke from behind me, "Pendragon..."

I dropped my cigarette onto the rough shoal and crushed it under my shoe. I slowly turned and saw the grinning face of a clown. In the dream, the face was large and it grinned with an unholy certainty and a malicious intent. The clown's face was white, but I didn't think it was grease paint. This clown was born with its chaulk white skin. A humorless smile was painted around its mouth and it's green hair shifty stifly around it's balding pate.

"What do you want, Shakes?" I said, trying to keep the chill I felt from shaking my entire body. I was still quite warm but the shudder was not from the cold.

"I'm starting another Shakesvivor," the clown said, and its horrid grin spread wider. Suddenly the wind shifted from his direction and I smealt the unmistakable aroma of ass. "I want you in this one, Dragon."

I turned and looked again at the beauty of the ocean sunset and breathed deeply of the sea air.

And then I jumped off of the cliff.

I fell perilously toward the jagged rocks below and as the white foam flew into my face and the inevitably of death enwrapped me, I had one last thought, at least it is better than another Shakes/Blowsvivor.

I awoke with my Superman blow-up doll held so tight, it's little plastic eyes were bulging. Then I was filled with the relief that it was all just a dream, and I relaxed. I was about to fall back to sleep when it hit me. I sat straight up in bed and peered into the darkness. Somewhere outside, I heard a laugh that sent the hair on the backs of my arms dancing, and the smell of ass was suddenly unmistakable.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The Pen is mightier than the sword...or the clown

Pendragon.....

I LOVE You, man!!!!!!!

That was incredible! *stares in amazement*... (nudges Kissy and says, "lucky beeaattcch!")

Go TAGI! *wink*

"We've trivialized the Vampire. I think it happened about the time 'Count Chocula' found its way to cereal boxes."
-F. Paul Wilson, author 'Midnight Mass' a vampire novella

Du ar min hjälte, Supermänniska

Shakes I applaud you. You have managed to turn this so the attention falls on you. With all due respect, if anyone was right about this whole Shakesvivor/Blowsvivor debacle, it wasn't you. It was me.

-----------------------
"So what are my chances
of honest advances
I'd say low
Better to win
by admitting my sin
than to lose with a halo"
-Evita

http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/cgi-bin/dcboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=414&forum=DCForumID6&archive=yes

Man, look at how fast I changed my tune on THAT thresd!!!

(Vampy...check your email babe - it ain't good!)

****************************************

AyaK, the only reason I mentioned that was to get to the clown.

-----------------------
"So what are my chances
of honest advances
I'd say low
Better to win
by admitting my sin
than to lose with a halo"
-Evita

I understand, LadyT. Nevertheless, I had never forgotten your post, and I wanted to go back and rethink my own actions through all of this.