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lilflip66 1 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 05-29-12, 06:03 PM (EST) "Can Step-Dad ever be #1 in Emily's Life???" Having lived the nightmare of being #2 behind kids and pets in my lifetime of relationships, don't you think that whoever Emily chooses is doomed to be #2 as well, given the way she seems to be about that little girl? I really think that's why she and Brad couldn't make it work. He wanted to be #1 on her hit parade - as it should be between a man and a woman - and she just couldn't see it that way! Thoughts...???   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: Can Step-Dad ever be #1 in Emil... rachelOH63 05-29-12 1  RE: Can Step-Dad ever be #1 in Emil... JessieJames 05-30-12 2  RE: Can Step-Dad ever be #1 in Emil... DoinTomCruiseDance 05-30-12 3  RE: Can Step-Dad ever be #1 in Emil... Tummy 05-31-12 4    RE: Can Step-Dad ever be #1 in Emil... Round Robin 06-05-12 5        RE: Can Step-Dad ever be #1 in Emil... DoinTomCruiseDance 06-05-12 6            RE: Can Step-Dad ever be #1 in Emil... Round Robin 06-05-12 7                RE: Can Step-Dad ever be #1 in Emil... DoinTomCruiseDance 06-05-12 8

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rachelOH63 206 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 05-29-12, 11:48 PM (EST) 1. "RE: Can Step-Dad ever be #1 in Emily's Life???" Well....As a full-time stepmother, I could expound and expound... However, I'll put a "No" down as my answer. Unfortunately for the step-person, I think you will always be in the #2 position for many things. There will be many times you'll FEEL like #2 or an outsider, and many times you'll actually BE #2. It is the nature of the beast.... Emily will either try hard to make him the "dad" figure and it will work out as best as it can... Or she will put him in that "you're not the real parent" position...and it may not work out. Too many moving parts to know the future!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JessieJames 1 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson" 05-30-12, 04:01 PM (EST) 2. "RE: Can Step-Dad ever be #1 in Emily's Life???" IMO, no and frankly, he shouldn't be. When you're bringing a new person into the picture, your child should always be first no matter what and more importantly, they need to know that. Most people who grow up to have troubled relationships with their parents come from a split family where step parents were brought in and the kids got pushed out. I am a firm believer that your child should ALWAYS come first. I don't even want to get into how many horror stories I've heard about children being abused by their father and their mother sticking around and putting them through it because they believed their husband should come before their kids. All I'm trying to say is that Ricky should always be #1 with Emily and if a guy can't handle that then he can't handle being a step father. Plain and simple.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

DoinTomCruiseDance 63 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 05-30-12, 07:05 PM (EST) 3. "RE: Can Step-Dad ever be #1 in Emily's Life???" LAST EDITED ON 05-30-12 AT 07:06 PM (EST) No not at all! And why "hit parade"?? Odd phrasing... When I was in that situation, I never looked at it that way & believe anyone who does is only setting themself & their new family up for unnecessary struggles!! There is NO reason to either feel entitled to or to fight for any position (as if they exist) in any family! When step-dad has an issue he needs mom's attention & mom gives. Ditto for daughter/son, & mom gives. Mom usually attends to her family prioritizing only bc of the set of circumstances that exist. I say bc I'm a woman/ex-stepmom & daughter to a mom(dad); women are typically more egalitarian in their dispositions (sorry guys can't include u{actually sorry for us women that I can't}). Men I've found (dad, bf's/hb's) are typically more selective to who they give attention (if they can't help, they tend not to try & if they can't relate tend to stay away). I found the exact reverse to be true for women. (Although both initially will try to Be There when needed, and when not move on to another family member's need.) Tearing away a woman (or a man) in the midst of all this, their attentiveness to their loved ones, to cry about non-existent nonsense is very immature for anyone to do. I'd more expect the child to behave that way not the adult. (So yikes if that's the case for anyone!) Anyway, when you Love your family, Love them--that's it!! Placements are for pageants & track meets, Not families!!!!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Tummy 3542 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Thong Contest Judge" 05-31-12, 10:50 AM (EST) 4. "RE: Can Step-Dad ever be #1 in Emily's Life???" Completely agree with Jesse and Tom. I was fortunate enough that the man I fell in love with loved my kid as well. And never kept score.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Round Robin 2243 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator" 06-05-12, 02:22 AM (EST) 5. "RE: Can Step-Dad ever be #1 in Emily's Life???" Tummy, maybe your guy didn't keep score, but after watching the episodes so far I think that most of these guys would, and it puts the onus on Emily to figure out who would and who wouldn't. I think she may be setting herself up for some disappointment and potential heartbreak if she's going to insist that her choice always let her put Ricki first and never keep score. The kind of guys who are interested in a young beauty like Emily aren't the kind of guys who will be interested in taking second place to a 6 year old they didn't know was involved till they got there, they are interested in fun, romance and sex like any young guy would be. Whether it's right or not to have that attitude, most of these guys will have it, and if Emily doesn't cut these guys or any future guys she pursues a little slack on that front, she could be setting herself up for a string of failed relationships and eventual old maidhood. And I'm sure if that's how it works out for Emily she ain't gonna be happy.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

DoinTomCruiseDance 63 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 06-05-12, 02:31 AM (EST) 6. "RE: Can Step-Dad ever be #1 in Emily's Life???" A song went off in my head when I started reading your post Round Robin..... "FIRE STARTER!!" You know the song by Prodigy... that's you. Luv u RR!!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Round Robin 2243 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator" 06-05-12, 02:47 AM (EST) 7. "RE: Can Step-Dad ever be #1 in Emily's Life???" Never heard of that song or that group. What I do is I say what I think, and I don't sugarcoat things, and if somebody doesn't like it, too f#&%ing bad. I'm not good for much else, but I'm pretty decent at putting 2 & 2 together and coming out with 4. And 4 is the answer I will give you. No false diplomacy here, just the unvarnished truth.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

DoinTomCruiseDance 63 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 06-05-12, 03:11 AM (EST) 8. "RE: Can Step-Dad ever be #1 in Emily's Life???" Un-Varnished... good then.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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