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flower2 171 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 05-11-06, 11:22 PM (EST) "Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" LAST EDITED ON 05-11-06 AT 11:25 PM (EST) Has Iyanla gone mad??? Confronting HGs has always been part of her tactics but she has resorted to being outright cruel lately. It was bad enough to hear her tell Niambi that she "sold her soul for a piece of a$$," but today telling Antonia "I'm talking, I'm talking. If they let you interrupt them that's cool, but that don't work with me." OK make your point--teach her something. But do you have to jump on the bandwagon and throw an unrelated insult at her too? I just don't understand her. I've noticed the slang she's using with them and wonder if it's because she has 2 "sistas" (Niambi's word, not mine) in the house that she feels a need to connect with them that way? She's made more comments about African American women too. While I can appreciate her being culturally diverse and sensitive, her treatment/therapy (or whatever it is) should be specific to the individual not based on her race. She just seems to be harder on these two than she does on others. Am I off point here?   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach sharnina 05-12-06 1    RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach Twinkles 05-12-06 2        RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach GoodnightLittleBear 05-15-06 16  RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach MizJazmine 05-12-06 3    RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach Baxtera 05-12-06 4        RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach mistyrose52 05-12-06 5  RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach SOfan0221 05-12-06 6    RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach origsofan 05-12-06 7  RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach sillybear 05-12-06 8    RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach imagma 05-12-06 9    RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach EMTBGRL 05-13-06 11        RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach sharnina 05-13-06 12            RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach EMTBGRL 05-15-06 17  RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach EMTBGRL 05-13-06 10    RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach Lanna42 05-13-06 13        RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach flower2 05-14-06 14            RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach Zoey 05-14-06 15

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 05-12-06, 01:00 AM (EST) 1. "RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" I don't know... I think Antonia needs a little dose of whatever Iyanla dishes out. She is terribly immature and behaved like a sulky 13 year old today. Not very attractive on a "grown a$$ woman" (her words, not mine). And I was glad she told her to stop interupting. She needed to shut her mouth and let Jodi have her moment of celebration and oh.my.gosh let her enjoy her mother. As far as Niambi is concerned, the longer I watch her the less sympathy I have for her. She is behaving foolishly and frankly, she did sell her soul for a piece of a$$. She nods her head and says the words and then crawls back to the pig (and that is what he is). She is allowing herself to be used and doesn't mind that another woman gets trompled in the process. Shame on her. I thought she showed her true self today and it was not pretty. And I hope she gets it soon because I have a feeling Iyanla isn't going to put with much more of her pretending to "get it." And I don't think she is using any more slang than she ever has. I actually enjoy some of it as I'm from the south (I know she's not) and love some of that brutal honesty. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Twinkles 324 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host" 05-12-06, 05:53 AM (EST) 2. "RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" I thought she spoke to them today at the same intensity and word choice that they were speaking to get their attention and to turn the conversation around. It was reflecting it back to them so they could hear what they were saying and how it sounded. It's like fighting fire with fire. Somehow if you do it right it doesn't escalate the problem. I'm not sure why it works but it's effective especially when someone is throwing in swear words like Antonia was doing. I thought Iyanla was just using as much slang and then repeating the same swear words back so Antonia could hear how she sounded. After you get their attention you can bring it down a notch, start speaking in your usual words and everyone else follows suit.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

GoodnightLittleBear 461 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star" 05-15-06, 12:35 PM (EST) 16. "RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" LAST EDITED ON 05-15-06 AT 12:36 PM (EST) <<After you get their attention you can bring it down a notch, start speaking in your usual words and everyone else follows suit.>> That's not Iyanla style. Her way of doing things is to whip out a bullhorn and chase folks around the house. Nothing Iyanla does is subtle. Everything she does is over the top. She's the Emeril of reality TV minus the class.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

MizJazmine 532 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator" 05-12-06, 06:12 AM (EST) 3. "RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" LAST EDITED ON 05-12-06 AT 06:15 AM (EST) Actually I think Iyanla is in her "element" when it comes to working with black women. For at least I think a good 10 years Iyanla's work was specifically geared toward black women. It was Susan Taylor of Essence Magazine that exposed Iyanla more to the "black community". I think it wasn't until the exposure with Oprah, that Iyanla really got a more diversified audence. You can pretty much so tell with her books when she "crossed over". I think the way Iyanla talks to Antonia, she has too and Antonia understands it. Antonia knows that Iyanla is not trying to hurt or humiliate her. Antonia is also strikes me as the type of person that respects people being "real" with her, and Iyanla knows this about Antonia just by their conversations. Antonia isn't into psychobabble. To me she seems like a straight no chaser kinda person...just say what you have to say. To me Antonia tries to have a tough persona, but I think she's a very sensitive young woman. When something hurts her it really does hurt her. Antonia was not hurt by what Iyanla had to say, but I do believe she was hurt by what Christie did. I do think the cultural and ethnic context of a person matters because there can be specific wounds regarding those areas that need to be addressed and healed. Sometimes those kinds of wounds are foundational and if they're not healed, a person can truly walk through their life broken and isolated. So I do think it's valid, but it's individual. I don't think Iyanla is being harder on Niambi or Antonia. I really think it's their personalities and their individual resistance or willingness that she's dealing with. It's just that they both happen to be black. Throw Jodi or Lisa 2 in the mix and Iyanla's handling of them looks the same to me...anyways.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Baxtera 923 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 05-12-06, 08:12 AM (EST) 4. "RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" Antonia is used to throwing tantrums and getting people to back down from her. She fully expected to control that situation and get her way because she was angry and ticked off that God forbid she had work to do and people didn't step up and do it for her. Niambia once again made a stupid choice and wasted her compassion and caring on someone who could truly care less about her and her needs. She was angry because she got used and abused and knows it and is mad but once again isn't able to admit she screwed up enabling a user and instead strikes out at the people around her instead of the user. Antonia needs to learn social skills and I was laughing my head off when IV started to tell her off. It's about time someone told her about manners and proper speech. I loved her line about others may allow you to interupt which was perfect others have been allowing her to behave like a brat for years and she's gotten away with it. Antonia needs to learn proper social skills and Niambia needs to pick people in her life that don't use and abuse her. The fact that Antonia screwed up is not the HG fault no matter how much she wants to make it their fault. It's a result of her own laziness and attitude. IV called her on it and if she doesn't like it there's always the door.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

mistyrose52 795 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 05-12-06, 02:49 PM (EST) 5. "RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" Gotta agree with the rest. Antonia & Niambi need some straight talk. Even Niambi herself was excited when Antonia came in and made the comment that there was another 'sista' in the house now! So, take it or leave it. They're the ones screwing up, and they'll never learn their lessons-and look what trouble they both are in-if someone doesn't step up to the plate and give it to them like it is. Who better than IV??   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

SOfan0221 828 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent" 05-12-06, 03:26 PM (EST) 6. "RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" I think Iyanla should continue just as she is. As for Antonia, someone needs to beotch-slap that moronic smirk on her smug, little pampered, lazy a$$ face. And as for Niambi, I think she is a very attractive woman with the most expressionless face. She looks blank, slack, something. The woman never smiles, never looks anything other than someone walking around in shell shock. If anyone can get to these two, it will be Iyanla. Rhonda doesn't use tough love, Iyanla does.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

origsofan 50 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 05-12-06, 03:53 PM (EST) 7. "RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" Just today saw the show where Niambi and Antonia ruined Jodi's graduation dinner with her mom. Antonia seemed to be setting up Christie and the other SOHGs. Christie asked Antonia if she needed help and Antonia mumbled back at her with some reply I couldn't make out. Then she and Niambi proceeded to paint while complaining about the other HGs primarily Christie and how they weren't helping. If I asked someone if they wanted help and they sneered at me I wouldn't help either. If she wanted help she should have at least said yes, thanks. I believe Antonia didn't want their help so she could blame them for her failure and so her and Niambi could get off on ganging on Christie, HOW DUMB AND CHILDISH. Niambi and Antonia both are expecting careers in show biz, I gather. Too bad SO has gone from women really needing and wanting help to Real World rejects like Antonia. And Nasty 33 year old like Nianza who look 50 but expect modeling careers. Hey, Christie looks better face wise than Niambis wrinkled mug.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

sillybear 84 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square" 05-12-06, 07:33 PM (EST) 8. "RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" I understand Iyanla can be abrasive but it can be needed at times as a wakeup call.Iyanla is the person to do it.Blondie Rhonda would just try to find them a man and think that would solve everything.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

imagma 33 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge" 05-12-06, 08:51 PM (EST) 9. "RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" I think Iyanla discovered they both are hard headed, stubborn and resistant to change. Neither one seems to take the process serious. Iyanla's approach may be the only she can get thru the thick skulls.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

EMTBGRL 2513 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Survivor-themed Cruise Spokesperson" 05-13-06, 03:07 PM (EST) 11. "RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" >I understand Iyanla can be abrasive >but it can be needed >at times as a wakeup >call.Iyanla is the person to >do it.Blondie Rhonda would just >try to find them a >man and think that would >solve everything. Honestly? I think both the LC's are one taco short of a combination platter. But, yes, Rhonda DOES seem to have more of a "If you had a man, that would solve everything" mentality. (Can I hear a cosmic, HUH?)   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity" 05-13-06, 04:16 PM (EST) 12. "RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" Huh? Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

EMTBGRL 2513 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Survivor-themed Cruise Spokesperson" 05-15-06, 05:03 PM (EST) 17. "RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" Sharnina! I always know I can count on you! LOL! thanks. EM   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

EMTBGRL 2513 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Survivor-themed Cruise Spokesperson" 05-13-06, 03:05 PM (EST) 10. "RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" >Has Iyanla gone mad??? A resounding, "YES!" I can't believe some of the "exercises" this woman has thought up, the words she's used with some of the women, or the explanations of the "concepts" that contain little information--and just get the women fishing for the right psychobabble to make Iyanla happy. (Heaven help them if they get the words wrong) I am not sure when the downward slide started, but Iyanla's now down the slide, and mucking around in the mud puddle at the bottom of the slide- imho. It's reality tv, so it's kinda fun to watch the trainwreck. But, know that Iyanla's a trainwreck going in. It makes it easier to stomach when she talks.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Lanna42 263 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star" 05-13-06, 05:09 PM (EST) 13. "RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" Agreed! Let's not forget Iyanla's shameless Boo-Boo hustling with Alison and Jill.I'm not sure why she persists in calling men Boo-Boo's.It seems ridiculous to me.Kind of demeaning.In anycase with Alison and Jill in my opinion when you have serious health issues to deal with and are not gainfully employed that should be your priority not finding a man.Neither of them seemed ready to deal with dating.I have absolutely nothing against plus sized women but it does send a message to a prospective partner that you don't care enough to take care of yourself.And I think you are more likely to attract people who are potentially abusive because of that.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

flower2 171 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson" 05-14-06, 00:44 AM (EST) 14. "RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" LAST EDITED ON 05-14-06 AT 01:01 AM (EST) I totally agree that both Antonia and Niambi need reality checks and someone to give it to them straight (thankfully they have IV instead of Rhonda). However, I don't understand why IV feels the need to be soooo raw and with so much profanity. Surely, she can find other words to get her point across. I can't recall her ever telling anyone about a peice of a$$ or calling them a bitter b***ch!!! I know that in confessional, Niambi acknowledged it. However, its one thing for me to say that of myself. But its another matter altogether when someone else says it. These harsh statements could have applied to many others but were never made. If anyone sold their soul--XXXtina did! As crazy as it seems, Niambi says she has real feelings for this man. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense but there is some emotional attachment. Where was Christina's? The other comment could've been listed in the dictionary under Tess' picture. You never heard IV say anything remotely close to that to her. I would have thought as a woman of color, IV would have been more sensitive about calling Niambi out of her name (b***ch). There's enough of that on the music videos. I'm trying to understand her rationale with these tactics, but admittedly am having difficulty.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Zoey 326 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Cooking Show Host" 05-14-06, 05:13 PM (EST) 15. "RE: Iyanla's Abrasive Approach" I think it's worse that Niambi has an emotional attatchment (unlike Christina). Christina was in it for the money and while that says a lot about her, her intentions were clear. It was also clear that Christina was a hustler. Unlike Christina, Niambi wants LOVE and it's from ONE man. Niambi shouldn't be content to settle for this kind of relationship. And while she probably never intended to mean or evil, she did sell her soul for a peice of a$$. She is dishonouring herself and Mr. S' girlfriend. She put her selfish sexual desires and their supposed high sexual chemistry in front of her dignity and in spite of knowing that someone else (his girlfriend) could get really hurt. I think she needs these harsh words from Iyanla because it's the harsh truth. As for Iyanla's comment to Niambi calling her a bitter b!tch, I think it was Iyanla's way of speaking the truth without "prettying it up". Sometimes words are just easier to understand that way. And I don't think it was said or meant disrespectfully. It was the simple way of saying how she resents her dad, her verbally abusive mother, etc... Who wouldn't be a bitter b!tch? I've seen instances where both Iyanla and Rhonda have been tough when they need to be and have been softer when it's called for as well. In some cases it's been with the same person and where their head is at the time. In other cases they treat one person completely different than another, because that is what is called for to get through to them. For example, take Rhonda and how she treated Deneise compared to Cassie. Deniese was more mouthy and let's not forget "flippant". Rhonda had to be b!tchy at times. Cassie was more mousy and fragile and Rhonda used a softer demeanor with Cassie, for the most part. I don't think you can effectively treat everyone the same way. And for the most part, I don't think they are responding to the HG personalies on a whole but rather whatever specific personality traits manifest themselves at a given time. Like when Iyanla confronted Antonia at dinner and said that she wouldn't be interupted. Firstly, I think Antonia needed to be called out for her rudeness and secondly, as a "woman of honour" I wouldn't expect Iyanla to allow anyone to speak to her in this mannor.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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