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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8"
Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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03-27-06, 04:47 PM (EST)
 
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"Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
WEEKLY NOTES TO PRODUCTION STAFFFrom: Jon That fight between Kim and Kelly? Spectacular! I bet that gets those no-lifers folks on the Internet boards talking! Talk about conflama! So why did we have them make up so quickly? The DAWs ladies have been arguing about bathrooms. Can we just have one? Talk about tension in the house! The fire drill bit? Why did nobody stop, drop, or roll? (Oh, that's right, many of them HAVE rolls.) At any rate, I'm sure to get a call from Richard Van Lesbian Dick Van Dyke. And NEVER have Lisa2 jump in the pool like that again. Nor Jodi, either. Christie, meh. I know this has become thisclose to The Real World, but if I want soaked women worth seeing, I know where to get them. BTW, David Hasselhoff wanted too much to serve as the special guest cabana boy lifeguard. Liability insurance is a bear in this state! And do apologize to the neighbor for the ensuing walls of water that ruined hir begonias. A string bead front door will not do. Just go to Home Despot and be done with it. Take the money out of the budget for The Simple Life petty cash. What if we told Cassie that her son is a former member of Hanson? Check the mileage against the car's fleece lease. I have an AMC Pacer on standby if necessary. Finally, can we send Iyanla away for another couple weeks? I need to make some more whoopee consultations with Rhonda. 
Oh, tell Andy to stop by. I need clothes . . . for a 70s party.
ADMINISTRIVIA:To repeat, THE ONE CHARACTER TO A CUSTOMER RULE IS WAIVED. If you'd like to play someone else who is not being played in addition to your character, let me know in the signup thread. HG-wise, we need a Cassie, a Melinda, and a Jessica, for three. Perhaps also a Kelly (otherwise, come out, come out, wherever you are!). We could also use a Universe. Remember to use your sigs, or at least sign off as your characters. If you want to join in as a RECURRING character, please sign up in the signup thread before posting. That's where you'll find your sigs also. Remember, if you're unable to post as your character for a time, just send me a note to that effect. Otherwise, I can only assume you're uninterested, which isn't fair to someone who might want to play. (TJ and Jodi are still around, but have to post less frequently.) Inanimate objects who wish to change to unclaimed HGs may do so in the signup thread. But we welcome new ones of those too (and they've been hilarious!). Do NOT post as a character that's been claimed. Thanks. You can post as ad hoc, one-time characters WITHOUT signing up. If you intend to reuse your character, please do sign up . . . thanks! And HAVE FUN! Non-players: THIS IS NOT A DISCUSSION THREAD. Discussion-type posts may be removed. BUT . . . You may address or ask questions of the role-players as their characters. E-mail or PM me with any problems.
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mbinkc 32 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"
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03-27-06, 06:53 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-27-06 AT 06:55 PM (EST)Sorry I been away so long, gots so much on my mind
Wanted to drop in on you HG's and speak some truth I did find. I be's watchin you girls gettin' all mean an catty
Yous need to lighten up a bit, 'specially you Toadie fatty. Oh Lisa2, whatsa matta wit you, you gave in once again
IV says "Jump", and you says "OK, when?" Christie, I thinks you be brave to go an meet jo mama
You done real good with dat, not any conflama drama. An Kim, I jus can't understand this bathroom fix you got
Stop slammin' doors and lighten up an pee in yo own damn pot! Kelly, honey, you do scare me, like when you fixin' yo lunch
If Kim don't listen to what you say, you take her out in a punch Cassie, dear lassie, why you come back fo more?
I think you can get what you want without dat house, fo shore. Iguana, I didn't miss you a bit when you was on vacation
I jus' hope you wasn't castin' spells and mixing new libations. Dearest Rhonda, I have a crush on you dat I secretly hafta admit
You n' me doin' our own talk show, you know dat'd be a hit! Dr. Stan I idolize yo genius and edumecation
Keep doin' what you do and dat purple jacket, a sensation! Don't let Mr. Murray know dat Rhonda now loves me
We's gonna go out on our own, we's be a success...
Ms. Rhonda & Poetri!! 
Jus' rhyme yo' way thru the day an' you be okay.
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snowflake2 1499 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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03-27-06, 08:01 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
Uhhhhhh, okay, so what’s this all about?
(Graphic by Ingenue1983, AKA Disgruntled Editor)
How you gettin’ photographs of me in my new apartment, B!tch? And Saks could never prove anything…they gotta catch you with the stolen merchandise on you and that’s where this baby comes in handy. (lovingly pats handlebars of Hoverround, the tires of which are looking mighty low from carrying all that weight.)
You must have been that editor responsible for makin’ me look overweight. Cause, uhh, okay, listen, I’m not fat. It was all unflattering camera angles. I know I’m thinner than Jodi and Christie, and Iyanla too. I mean, uhhhhh, you know, you heard Iyanla say it herself…I smashed the stereotype of the overweight, sick, loud woman of color. Speaking of Iyanla, girl, why aren’t you, uhhhh, you know, answering my phone calls? ’Cause I gotta tell you, working three hours a week is really tiring me out. And the owner of my apartment keeps askin’ for RENT. Fool doesn’t even know you don’t ask STARS for money. Iyanla, when is the money gonna start rollin’ in, now that I’m really really really famous? I know you get famous before you get rich, but can you give me an idea how long I gotta wait? 'Cause if I don't get money soon, I'm gonna have to call Jon Murray & offer to come back, put on my bikini, and jump in that pool to get him some ratings. In the meantime, Iyanla, you got any rich friends who have dogs? ’Cause as you know, I’m uhhhhhh, you know, selling DOG FASHIONS on my website. Here are a couple of examples of my fashion design. You know any rich people who would pay me a lot of money for these?
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Ijustsharted 518 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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03-27-06, 09:31 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
You guys just wait until tomarrow to see all of my progress!!!
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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03-29-06, 09:16 AM (EST)
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16. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-29-06 AT 09:19 AM (EST)
I find Jill's cupcake outfit very moving. I sense she is making real progress with her life. A star shines brightly.
: : dabs eyes with Karl's Jr. napkin : : : : orders pimp hat for each member of family in purple tiger velvet: : 
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Ijustsharted 518 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"
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03-28-06, 05:23 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-28-06 AT 05:24 PM (EST)Well what did you guys think of my dinner party? Wasnt my bedroom just gorgeous!!!! And how about my non matching lawn chairs I used for my guests to sit in? Wasnt it just perfect!! I was soo suprised to see Rhonda at my door. I really wasnt expecting her.....*wink wink*
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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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03-29-06, 07:57 AM (EST)
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14. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-29-06 AT 08:02 AM (EST)Oh, Mr. Murray, you've got to be kidding me about needing clothes for the 70s party! Buddy, you're all set! I mean, I was going through some of my pictures and found this gem of you back in the day, so to speak. Wow! I knew Peter Max designed neckties, but entire suit jackets? What'd you have to do to get that to happen?! Wait – I don't want to know. 
Anyway, if you want me to resize this little number for you, just give me a ring. 
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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03-29-06, 08:58 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
Who the hell is hoggin' the urinal in the mornings?I NEED MY DIGNITY. : : shaves rogue knuckle hair : :
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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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03-30-06, 04:50 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
You know, I hate to seem like a goody-two shoes little snitch, but as I was measuring the men's bathroom window for a window-treatment makeover this morning, I did catch Jodi and Maureen at the urinal.Notice I said at the urinal, not by the urinal, or in the same room as the urinal. That's all I'm saying. There! I've zipped my lip now, and it's like I never said it at all, isn't it?! Hey, I said "zipped!" I made a little men's bathroom joke! I'm clever, after all, and not just when it comes to clothes and eyebrows. Ta!
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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03-29-06, 05:43 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-29-06 AT 05:44 PM (EST): : picks burrowing insect from cheek stubble : : Home from LisaToo's dinner. Yum. Clearly the anger management therapy is going well; she told me she'd been thinking about how to make Tony really hot this week.  : : sniffs sock to make sure it is OK to wear four days in a row : : : : catches glimpse of own hangnail in mirror : : : : swoons : : : : looks down at wife sleeping, pulls back flannel log cabin sheets : : "Darling, wake up. It's Wednesday. Hump day . . ."
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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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03-31-06, 00:29 AM (EST)
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24. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
I am not sublime. I am not at peace. I'm a lioness with a thorn in my paw, a feral cat with the ASPCA closing in to violate my colony, I'm a...subscriber to The Animal Planet.There is bad energy around me. Darkness, betrayal, and greed. I wanna just shake this thing off-a me, but it is stickin' like a ectoplasmic goo. I'm not sure where the vortex of negativity is - but I'm gonna find it....oh, yessssssss. And I am sending out this bit of information - when I find out who means to do Miss Iyanla harm...well...'nuff said. Now, you can take that information and you can agree with it, disagree with it...or just be present in the moment with it. No, actually I don't know what the hell that means either. Let your day be an act of faith or what-eva!!! Oh, and by the way, the walls have eyes.
*******************************************
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trikelady 82 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"
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03-31-06, 01:59 AM (EST)
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28. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
>The Front Door
>
>This overheard from Iyanla to Jodi
>when Jodi said she didn't
>get the exercise??? Let's just
>say she got the exercise. Could have sworn I burned the front door last week...WTF?
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pinksparkleguitar 1222 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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03-31-06, 04:43 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
LAST EDITED ON 03-31-06 AT 04:44 PM (EST)The great Buddha has had a busy week, and would like to thank Dr. Vant for the fabulous pinky he gave me. It's so pretty!
However, I would like to ask Andy to stop harssing me to let her do a full makeover on me. Buddha is one fine looking man all by myself, thank you. Leave me alon or else I'll reincarnate you to something hideous like. . . .your mom!
Buddha just made a yo' mamma joke!!! oh goodness, what has this house done to me?? Kim is right, those big panties of Lisa's were clogging the drain until someone threw them over the fence. Buddha suggests Lisa and Jodi never again become so one with the pool that they no longer need their clothes. For Buddha's sake, let's keep them on. No more skinny dipping! Buddha only liked it when the lovely Christina came out and swam and talked to Buddha . . . Buddha would also like to humbly submit that Kelly do the following exercise. FIst she needs to pack her bags and carry them around to symbolize her extra anger management issues. Then she nedds to head out side and try to drive with all the bags obstructing her view so that she can see how she will never get where she's going while she has all of those bags. THen she can drive herself home . . .and NEVER come back! Buddha is very frightened of her. Buddha has refused to even look in her direction or else the oure evil coming from her and the pure goodness coming from myself might cause a very strong reaction . . . .we're talking earthquakes here. Buddha gives kisses to Rhonda, and Dr. Stan. and a shout out to poetri, and wants him to look over this song Buddha wrote, it could be a hit!! 
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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03-31-06, 11:37 PM (EST)
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31. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
: : rolls out of bed : :: : sniffs armpit of jacket to see if it can be worn 17 days in a row : : : : sprays lining with Brut : : : : chooses "When a Man Loves a Woman" for ringtone : : : : buzzes through Friday's show . . . phones agent, thanks him for the No Drums/No Poetry clause in contract : :
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BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-02-06, 10:36 PM (EST)
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37. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
Grabs cell."Jon. Mayday! Mayday! Cassie is writing poems. No, no, I'm not kidding. Quick, DO SOMETHING before she thinks of a rhyme for "hair spray." Thanks. Love ya. Mean it." : : shifts nervously, pulls bagel crumb from stubble, pops it in mouth : : : : adjusts wristwatch : : : : interlocks fingers, twiddles thumbs : :
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Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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04-03-06, 00:58 AM (EST)
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38. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
LAST EDITED ON 04-03-06 AT 06:00 AM (EST)I wrote a poem for everyone. I hope you like it. Goes like this .... To Andy My bestest friend Rhonda and I had a ball
when we shopped at the mall. Do NOT tell me what to wear.
I liked the outfit on the wall. Do NOT put hair spray nor color my hair!
I had a breakdown in the chair! 
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JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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04-03-06, 06:18 AM (EST)
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39. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
Oh, Cassie, Cassie, Cassie... you sweet little naive thing, you! Beneath your frumpy exterior lies a heart only a redneck mama could love made of gold (10-karat). However, it's our exteriors that count, you know, and yours definitely needs some work! Your little ode to the makeover was enchanting, but honestly, dear, let's put on our big-girl panties and stop with the theatrics. You need a change, and I'm the one to make that happen, and decide how it's done. So suck it up and move on, sister! Today, K-Mart... tomorrow, TJ Maxx! Nothing but the best for our poor little ewe who's lost her lamb... whatever. Get a grip on contacting Sonny Boy, too, whydontcha? Good luck to you in contacting your son.
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pinksparkleguitar 1222 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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04-03-06, 11:38 AM (EST)
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43. "RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 8" |
Buddha LOVES Danny Bonaduce! Can we meditate together next time you are craving a forty?
(made props to you, JavaT, I spit coke out of my nose on that one!!)
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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