The Amazing Race   American Idol   The Apprentice   The Bachelor   The Bachelorette   Big Brother   The Biggest Loser
Dancing with the Stars   So You Think You Can Dance   Survivor   Top Model   The Voice   The X Factor       Reality TV World
   
Reality TV World Message Board Forums
PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats, but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are encouraged to read the complete guidelines. As entertainment critic Roger Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
"Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
Email this topic to a friend
Printer-friendly version of this topic
Bookmark this topic (Registered users only)
 
Previous Topic | Next Topic 
Conferences Starting Over General Discussion Forum (Protected)
Original message

sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

06-20-06, 01:19 AM (EST)
Click to EMail sharnina Click to send private message to sharnina Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
"Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
Okay, let's get this show on the road! Someone did call the hot dog stand and inform them that we would be there, right? Wasn't that your job, Antonia?


Rhonda, I think I need a preview of your little tutu number before the actual show.


ADMINISTRIVIA:

You need not just follow my lead here. You can take this in any show-related direction you wish.

Remember to use your sigs, or at least sign off as your characters.

If you want to join in as a RECURRING character, please sign up in the signup thread before posting. That's whereyou'll findyour sigs also (although, if you're replacing someone, it may be in the old signup thread).
Remember, if you're unable to post as your character for a time, just send me a note to that effect. Otherwise, I can only assume you're uninterested, which isn't fair to someone who might want to play.


Currently claimed roles are: Jon Murray, Dr. Stan, Iyanla, Rhonda, Andy (and her mom, and her left brow), Antonia, Jodi, Kelly and her bathroom, Niambi, Christina, Poetri, Dr. VantToLookJung, Lanre, the Garden Buddha, the RoseBush, the Front Door, the Dining Room Table, Bead Store Owner, "Mr. Situation," the CameraMan, Kim, TJ, Niambi.

Here is the link to the new thread containing some of the old sigs. Old Sigs


New characters, or resurrected old ones, welcome!

Do NOT post as a character that's been claimed. Thanks.

You can post as ad hoc, one-time characters WITHOUT signing up.


If you intend to reuse your character, please do sign up . . . thanks!

And HAVE FUN!

Non-players: THIS IS NOT A DISCUSSION THREAD.
Discussion-type posts may be removed. BUT . . . You may address or ask questions of the role-players as their characters.


E-mail or PM me with any problems.

Based on various other "Be The . . ." games, created by (all hail) Angelfood.

  Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... JavaT 06-20-06 1
   RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... BlowingOver 06-22-06 30
       RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... Sahara 06-22-06 36
       Hey Allison! kircon 06-22-06 37
           RE: Hey Allison! BlowingOver 06-23-06 41
 RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... JavaT 06-20-06 2
   RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... BlowingOver 06-20-06 7
       RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... JavaT 06-21-06 19
 Iyanla!!! Sahara 06-20-06 3
   Song wars & wienie woes alaholly 06-20-06 4
       No, I am the queen of the world alaholly 06-20-06 5
           RE: No, I am the queen of the world BlowingOver 06-20-06 9
               RE: No, I am the queen of the world alaholly 06-20-06 15
 RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... kircon 06-20-06 6
   RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... BlowingOver 06-20-06 10
       RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... kircon 06-21-06 21
           Dr. Stan- harmless therapist, or ev... catmama 06-22-06 26
 Twister Rehearsal Begins BlowingOver 06-20-06 8
   RE: Twister Rehearsal Begins alaholly 06-20-06 11
       RE: Twister Rehearsal Begins Sahara 06-20-06 12
           RE: Twister Rehearsal Begins alaholly 06-20-06 14
               Ultim8 Twisting BlowingOver 06-21-06 22
                   RE: Ultim8 Twisting alaholly 06-21-06 23
                       RE: Ultim8 Twisting BlowingOver 06-22-06 29
                           RE: Ultim8 Twisting BlowingOver 06-22-06 31
               RE: Twister Rehearsal Begins Sahara 06-24-06 65
 RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... Sahara 06-20-06 13
 RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... Anne18 06-21-06 16
   RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... Anne18 06-21-06 17
 RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... JavaT 06-21-06 18
   RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... mbinkc 06-21-06 20
       RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... JavaT 06-21-06 24
           Jodi's Huggy Booth catmama 06-22-06 25
               RE: Jodi's Huggy Booth JavaT 06-23-06 45
                   RE:Jodi's Huggy Booth catmama 06-24-06 69
                       RE:Jodi's Huggy Booth kircon 06-24-06 70
                           RE:Jodi's Huggy Booth Anne18 06-25-06 71
       NO MORE TWISTER!! BlowingOver 06-22-06 28
           RE: NO MORE TWISTER!! kircon 06-22-06 38
               RE: NO MORE TWISTER!! BlowingOver 06-23-06 42
 RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... sharnina 06-22-06 27
   Allithun, the Goddeth of Calm BlowingOver 06-22-06 32
   RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... Sahara 06-22-06 34
       RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... BlowingOver 06-23-06 44
       RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... sharnina 06-23-06 56
           RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... BlowingOver 06-24-06 62
   Hey Jon! kircon 06-22-06 35
 The Talent Show kircon 06-22-06 33
   RE: The Talent Show report alaholly 06-22-06 39
       RE: The Talent Show report mbinkc 06-22-06 40
           RE: The Talent Show report BlowingOver 06-23-06 43
               RE: The Talent Show alaholly 06-23-06 46
                   RE: The Talent Show BlowingOver 06-23-06 47
               RE: The Talent Show report sharnina 06-23-06 48
                   RE: The Talent Show report BlowingOver 06-23-06 51
   RE: The Talent Show sharnina 06-23-06 49
       RE: The Talent Show 26mitogo 06-23-06 50
           RE: The Talent Show sharnina 06-23-06 52
           RE: The Talent Show sharnina 06-23-06 55
               RE: The Talent Show 26mitogo 06-24-06 66
       RE: The Talent Show BlowingOver 06-23-06 53
           RE: The Talent Show sharnina 06-23-06 54
               RE: The Talent Show BlowingOver 06-24-06 60
                   Can I Be Your Backup Singer? kircon 06-24-06 63
                       RE: Can I Be Your Backup Singer? BlowingOver 06-25-06 74
 Confethional Chair Withdom BlowingOver 06-23-06 57
   RE: Confethional Chair Withdom BlowingOver 06-24-06 59
   RE: Confethional Chair Withdom Anne18 06-24-06 68
       RE: Confethional Chair Withdom BlowingOver 06-25-06 72
           RE: Confethional Chair Withdom Anne18 06-25-06 73
               RE: Confethional Chair Withdom BlowingOver 06-25-06 75
           RE: Confethional Chair Withdom Cygnus X1 07-10-06 88
 RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... Anne18 06-23-06 58
   RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... BlowingOver 06-24-06 61
   RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... Sahara 06-24-06 64
       RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... Anne18 06-24-06 67
           RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... sharnina 06-25-06 76
               RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... Anne18 06-25-06 77
                   RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... SeasonedRefinement 06-25-06 79
                       RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... Sahara 06-25-06 80
                           RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... SeasonedRefinement 06-25-06 85
                               RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... Sahara 06-25-06 86
                       RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... 26mitogo 06-25-06 84
                           RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... Sahara 06-25-06 87
               RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... mbinkc 06-25-06 78
                   RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... BlowingOver 06-25-06 81
                       RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Wee... BlowingOver 06-25-06 82
 Ach, pleaze come to my leetle booth... Sahara 06-25-06 83

Lobby | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic

Messages in this topic

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-20-06, 05:57 AM (EST)
Click to EMail JavaT Click to send private message to JavaT Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
1. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
Oh, Mr. Murray, I have to admit I've jumped the gun and called Pink's, Hot Dog Stand to the Stars. The only stipulation they made was that we do not use the current billboard, which looks like this:

But Pink's is the place to see and be seen! It will be simply wonderful! I've already staked out a prime place on the sidewalk for my Eyebrow Tweezing kiosk. There's a great little room in the back where Antonia can forge take applications for Starting Over credit cards, and plenty of empty hot dog cartons in the back for Maureen.

I'm so excited I can feel my baby kicking! Or did Jodi just crawl in my bed? EEEWWWWW!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-22-06, 05:13 PM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
30. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
::smiles, scrunches up face in attempt to look Pixie-like::

Hello to all my Thrtarting Over Friendths and Thithterth!!!

I'm BACK!!!

And I brought a pretty hat to put on the floor for DONATIONTHHH.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

06-22-06, 06:33 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Sahara Click to send private message to Sahara Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
36. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
Allison, dear, I have a suggestion for you for the talent show. Perhaps you could balance very full glasses of wine...one on each arm, and one on your head. I think that would please Iyanla, and I am here to fill in the gaps while she is gone.


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

06-22-06, 06:45 PM (EST)
Click to EMail kircon Click to send private message to kircon Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
37. "Hey Allison!"
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

*puts cig in mouth* *raises glass to Allison*

Cheers!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-23-06, 01:04 AM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
41. "RE: Hey Allison!"
I'm tho, tho, thrilled to be offered the challenge of fulfilling my inner thrength and beauty through the unique and fearlethneth of Rhonda's vision.

::makes frowny face::

Though I am afraid of my own capathity for loving my own lovely longing for love in abiding in a lover'th arms of love.

::tilts head coquettishly::

I jutht hope that I can true balanth wine with the integrity and authentithity in truth and love.

Gosh, I could jutht go on forever . . . I love public thpeaking . . .


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-20-06, 07:11 AM (EST)
Click to EMail JavaT Click to send private message to JavaT Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
2. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
Yo, Snuffly, where you be, man? You ready to sing? You ready to catch some cotton granny panties sexy red thongs those hot chicks are gonna throw onto the stage? Hoo-boy, I remember those days, don't you?

Uh, maybe you don't. Maybe I'm thinking about the time Danny Bonaduce subbed for you – you know, that time you had the sniffles and cancelled at the last minute. Wasn't that when you got Blanky? I know it was right around the time you started wearing those pajamas with the feet. They were cute, man! Little ducks on them and everything.

Oh, wait, did I say that? Sorry, Snuffs! Don't want anybody thinkin' you're not a manly man.

Peace (Train) out!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-20-06, 04:37 PM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
7. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
Sorry for the delay in answering, had a business meeting Sunday with Aaron Spelling, and you know how those go . . . creme de menthe frappes all night . . . stories about Tori . . .

::takes two aspirin::

re: footy sleepers . . . How many times do I have to tell you they weren't ducks, they were Aleutian Geese . . . endangered little fluffy fuzzy wuzzy widdle geesie-weesies.

Other than that . . . looking forward to working with you again, Yusuffy! Good times, good times . . Danny, Blanky . . .

::becomes verklempt::

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-21-06, 06:40 AM (EST)
Click to EMail JavaT Click to send private message to JavaT Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
19. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
Hey, bubeleh, don't cry, man! If they let me out of rehab in time, I'll join you and Cat – er, Yusuffy! They took my belt and shoes but I do have a comb and some tissue paper.

Maybe we can keep this group going a while, huh? My show's been renewed for this fall, but that's not gonna take up much of my time. Bein' with you guys is far more important. And besides, Gretchen's kind of a cold fish these days, know what I mean?

I do remember those Aleutian geese, my man. The colors matched your paccy. You know, they make all sorts of pacifiers now, Snuffs. Check 'em out! Those Starlight ones are way cool. But you have to remember to take the freakin' thing out of your mouth while you sing! You always had a problem with that...

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

06-20-06, 09:37 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Sahara Click to send private message to Sahara Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
3. "Iyanla!!!"
LAST EDITED ON 06-20-06 AT 05:08 PM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 06-20-06 AT 09:39 AM (EST)

Iyanla! *tap tap* Iyanla!! *tap tap* *checks other rooms* IYANLAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
You get your hiney in here this minute! *very fierce scowl appears on face, as eyes blaze and turn red* You do not cross Rhonda. NOBODY crosses Rhonda!!!!

*begins to gather items around house and yard*

Okay, here we have Iyanla's spell book...and here is her bag of potions...and here is her wand...and here is her little black book...hmmm, let's see who is in there....well, these people are all dead, that is a bit creepy! Oh, except this one. Dr. Stan???? Here is a pile of size ten clothes...aha, she has tampered with these tags! The "2" in 20 became a "1". I thought so. tee hee Oh, here is her special red cellphone that gives her a direct line to the universe!

*puts items in bag and goes out to fireplace*

Time for a little burning, Iyanla! tee hee

*starts fire*

*puts on welding helmet*

*throws bag in fire and runs in high heels back to house*

*loud explosion heard outside*

NOW maybe we can be sisters again. But not with her convuluted and selfish words. I think I will talk to Mr. Murray about switching Lisa 1 over to her for a life coach. That should get her.

I tried so hard to make a compromise, but no, she won't have it! Compromise, schmompromise!

Rhonda's "I have a special relationship with the boss so don't even talk about messing with me" Newest and Bestest Ever Rhondaversion of Iyanlalyrics
Sisters, sisters,
(Rhonda) I feel prettier than my sister,
Pretty, pretty, pretty, prettier than her,
I'm the prettiest, just ask MIRROR!


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"

06-20-06, 10:24 AM (EST)
Click to EMail alaholly Click to send private message to alaholly Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
4. "Song wars & wienie woes"
<Antonia lying on the couch with an ice bag on her head>

"Ohhhh my head. This cat fight between the coaches is givin' me a headache hey-ah. We gotta do somethin'. Maybe I can get everyone to have some of Christie's Happy Punch and practice a rousing game of Twista. Yeah that's it. That'll loosen up those ladies. A real close, bondin' experience. Where's Richard? I'm puttin' him in chahge of the Twista Game."

"Now about the wienie problem. Jill and some of the other girls are eatin' up all the dogs at Pinks. The managah is gettin' really pi$$ed and threatenin' to cancel our gig unless we pay for all the missin' food. Oh Mr. Jon...I need to double our food budget. This is gettin' serious."

"And absolutely not girls. Pinks will NOT allow Pole Dancing on the sidewalk. Maybe we can arrange somethin' for aftah the show."

"That's it foh now. Okay Jodi. Get off me. Move ovah! I need to take a nap." <Bleep, girl!>


Bein' a grown a$$ produc-ah aint easy!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"

06-20-06, 01:50 PM (EST)
Click to EMail alaholly Click to send private message to alaholly Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
5. "No, I am the queen of the world"
<Lisa is lying face down on the floor pounding her fists and screeching>

"I want a tiara! I WANT A TIARA!!! GIVE ME MY TIARA, NOW!"

<Wails loudly and pretends to retch>

"Daddy said you have to give me one. You better give it to me. RIGHT NOW! NOW!!!!!!"

<Sits up drooling, with glazed look in eyes, spits>

"You hear me?!?"

<Head swivels around...>


I am NOT a b!tch, YOU BIT!CH!!!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-20-06, 04:58 PM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
9. "RE: No, I am the queen of the world"
LAST EDITED ON 06-20-06 AT 07:03 PM (EST)

::wheels cage to Hot Dog Stand::

::slips elegant Hot Dog On a Stick hat under tarp::

Think of it as a hot-dog tiara, Lisa.


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"

06-20-06, 10:31 PM (EST)
Click to EMail alaholly Click to send private message to alaholly Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
15. "RE: No, I am the queen of the world"
<Intense, crazed, snarling and biting sounds, thrashing and howling coming from under the tarp. Wild, insane noises...then...out pops a shredded, chewed up hot dog hat>

Soft, low whine: "I want my tiara."


I'm really just a pussycat.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

06-20-06, 02:52 PM (EST)
Click to EMail kircon Click to send private message to kircon Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
6. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
My Darling Bathroom:

*bent over with toothbrush* *scrub,scrub,scrub*

I am so glad we came back. I have never been happier. All these houseguest coming back. Ahah! Even the skinny drunk one. What happen to all their makeovers.

Well it looks like they washed them down the drain.

I'm not going to do the talent show. I plan on being with you after they all leave. Do you think Martha might show up? She taught me everything I know about cleaning.

*hums the song the LC's are fighting over*

Hum-humm, hum-humm. That's a catchy little tune.

*scrub,scrub,scrub,.......



  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-20-06, 05:07 PM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
10. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
::squirts trail of French's from bathtub out front door::

::stays out of Kelly's sight::

::bright yellow trail leads to STAGE::

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

06-21-06, 11:55 AM (EST)
Click to EMail kircon Click to send private message to kircon Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
21. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
hum-humm, hum-humm
scrub a little, brush a little, sister.

My darling bathroom, you seem to have sprung a leak.
What is that yellow stain?

*grabs stain chart and toolbelt, filled with cleaning products and brushes*

*starts cleaning the trail of yellow*

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"

06-22-06, 12:45 PM (EST)
Click to EMail catmama Click to send private message to catmama Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
26. "Dr. Stan- harmless therapist, or evil, dancing genius?"
No! It's a trap, Kell! Don't even scrub it up! These floors are clean enough to eat off of, and you know Jodi will clean it up, just as soon as she makes herself a sandwich! Oooh, that Dr. Stan! No one on this planet is that lovable and huggable! And we all know several that try. Unbelievable! Ok, Kelly, you can put the brush dow- Kelly! Kelly! KELLY! Darn that girl, never met a stain she didn't want to scrub out.
So, I see no one has noticed the pole that Sommer, Christie, and xxxtina have installed in here. Boy that Sommer- she's a clumsy one! Almost hit her head on Mr. Tub's side. Kim needs to find a new hiding spot for her booze, b/c now, she's all out. Either that, or join in the "Striperella '06" festivities going on in here. They've even made t-shirts to give out at the show (but I wonder how Pam Anderson will feel about it?) Kelly!!!


Hmm...maybe I should team up w/ Antonia... she'd help me take this nasty pole out of here...and she could always sell it for some real grown-a$$ buck$!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-20-06, 04:54 PM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
8. "Twister Rehearsal Begins"
::inspects sidewalk outside hot dog stand::

::lays Twister plastic sheet on ground::

::places spinner on condiment island::

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"

06-20-06, 06:36 PM (EST)
Click to EMail alaholly Click to send private message to alaholly Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
11. "RE: Twister Rehearsal Begins"
<Out in front of Pink's>

"Okay one and all. Step right up, he-yah. Have some yum-my punch...only $5.00 *er* $7.50 a glass and ya won't be sorry. It's Kim and Christie's special recipe. It'll make ya nice and happy. Now c'mon all you party people, it's time to Twist and Shout. Who wants to go first? Only ten bucks for a round of Twistah. That's right...I'll take the money...all the money. Yup, hand me the cash, uh huh, right he-yah. Cha-ching cha-ching, I mean have fun ladies!"

<Mumbles to self: "I sure hope Lanre gets here soon...">


Dr. Stan, make Jodi sit this one out, she keeps gropin' the customers.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

06-20-06, 07:27 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Sahara Click to send private message to Sahara Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
12. "RE: Twister Rehearsal Begins"
Hey, I'm playin'! Don't start without ME! I am goin' to eat my cotton candy while I play. Man, I am sweatin'....may have to get rid of these yucky clothes soon.


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"

06-20-06, 09:35 PM (EST)
Click to EMail alaholly Click to send private message to alaholly Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
14. "RE: Twister Rehearsal Begins"
"Uh...yeah...about that De-BOR-ah...seems...uh...we're all outta cotton candy. Could ya run ovah to *er* Colorado and get us some more? I heard they have great cotton candy ovah they-ah, so...hurry, okay honey? Thanks."


She's cuttin' into my profit margin.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-21-06, 03:34 PM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
22. "Ultim8 Twisting"
::gasping for air::

left . . . foot . . . blue . . . arghghghghghfllllmph

::face blanches::

feel . . . something . . . strange . . .can't . . . see . . . hands . . . .arghghghghghghfllllllmippy

::begins whimpering::

OMG, what is that?

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"

06-21-06, 04:26 PM (EST)
Click to EMail alaholly Click to send private message to alaholly Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
23. "RE: Ultim8 Twisting"
<Loud, shrill, cackling witchy laugh from skinny helmet haired person on bottom of Twister pile>

"Woops. Sorry Dr. Stan...didn't mean to grab you THERE!"


Carry on...this is FUN!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-22-06, 04:58 PM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
29. "RE: Ultim8 Twisting"
(barely audible)

. . . hmmmmrrrrgg . . . .

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-22-06, 05:16 PM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
31. "RE: Ultim8 Twisting"
Doctor THTAN!!!!!!!

What'th wrong? Thpreak to me!

::begins mouth-to-mouth::

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

06-24-06, 01:06 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Sahara Click to send private message to Sahara Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
65. "RE: Twister Rehearsal Begins"
LAST EDITED ON 06-24-06 AT 01:10 PM (EST)

*whines*

*pant, pant* *wheeze, wheeze*

How do you think I was supposed to find Colorado all bah mahself? I can't even find Target without some loser calling me pathetic. Nobody lahks me. Ah just don't fit in.

But ah needed a new supply of cotton candy, so ah hitchhiked to Colorado. And ah got a man to ship us a whole bunch for FREE! Ah guess he lahked me. *hides pregnancy test in bra* Don't worry, ah'm still *ahem* celibate! The last man ah was with was mah old day-ud husband!

Okay, ah'm ready to play Twister! You promised!

*sings*
Twister, Twister, everyone will see me playing Twister...


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

06-20-06, 07:31 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Sahara Click to send private message to Sahara Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
13. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
Where would you like to meet, Jon-Boy Mr. Murray? Too many people at that Twister game at the hot dog stand...I want to have all your attention so I can have your input on my little number.


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"

06-21-06, 00:00 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Anne18 Click to send private message to Anne18 Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
16. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
LAST EDITED ON 06-21-06 AT 00:15 AM (EST)

Hi All,

We are here! What is for lunch? Hot dogs! Woo hoo!!


Loves Carnivals!


Hates Carnivals!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"

06-21-06, 00:30 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Anne18 Click to send private message to Anne18 Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
17. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
LAST EDITED ON 06-21-06 AT 00:32 AM (EST)

Jill?? Jill??

Hi Rhonda! I am here only because I had to drive Cassie. I don't like carnivals. I -

What? This is not a carnival? What is this place then? Looks like a circus to me! Only a hot dog stand? Ohhhhh, okay. Got it. I am from the East Coast, never heard of Pinky's before.

Com'ere Rhonda. Psst! I have a little concern about my friend Cassie here. Yeah, ummmm, she says that you are her BESTEST friend ever! So uhhhh how come you don't like her? She cries constantly on the phone to me! Oh she may look happy now, but you watch her when she's by herself. It's sad. Just sad.



I do what I can to help since I am the only normal one in the SO house, you see.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-21-06, 06:26 AM (EST)
Click to EMail JavaT Click to send private message to JavaT Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
18. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
Twister? Twister? You gotta be kiddin' me! Again with the childish games! What's with this Starting Over crowd?

If you're going to have a talent show, I say give 'em real, raw talent. So my contribution to the show is this little booth over here that Vanty's setting up for me. I'm going to demonstrate the proper technique for sticking one's finger in a light socket.

Don't try this at home! But ehhh, don't worry about me... I've done this a million times. Andy did it once too and it burned off her eyebrows. Oy vey, what a horrible summer that was!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

mbinkc 32 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"

06-21-06, 07:59 AM (EST)
Click to EMail mbinkc Click to send private message to mbinkc Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
20. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
LAST EDITED ON 06-21-06 AT 08:01 AM (EST)

Helllooo Ladieeesss!!!
Childish games? Childish games??? I beg to differ, you science experiment gone wrong Ms. Andy's Mom! Twister has been around for decades, providing fun and frivolity for kids of all ages. You, on the other hand, have been around for decades, providing...ummm...nothing??
Since Antonia put me in charge of the game ::squeals with delight::, I get to pick the teams. I've decided that anyone who has had a gastric bypass or has tumors in excess of 30 lbs. cannot play. So, with that being said, the first round will be that drunk, skinny girl and the fake-crying, fake puking skinny girl against Dr. Stanley and I. The winner of that round gets to play the next round alone with Dr. Stanley and I. ::squeals with delight again:: Then I'll decide who goes next. But you can bet that Frankenstein's bride and her daughter are not going to get to play! Can someone hand me a tissue??


Childish my a$$

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-21-06, 10:55 PM (EST)
Click to EMail JavaT Click to send private message to JavaT Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
24. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
Tell you what, Mr. Sissy Pants, you better take that hype of yours on down the road. Who are you to say my daughter and I can't play, anyway? And I'll have you know, just for the record, that I'm divorced, and waiting for Dr. VantToLookYoung to pop the question, so you can just put a lid on that Frankenstein's bride crap.

And what have I contributed to society? What have I provided? A heck of a lot of fun for a lot of manly men, for one thing! Oh, but wait, you wouldn't know anything about that, wouldja?

Who do you think you are, anyway? Sheesh, you don't even have good hair. I bet if I look up "light in the loafers" in the encyclopedia, I'll see a picture of YOU.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"

06-22-06, 04:14 AM (EST)
Click to EMail catmama Click to send private message to catmama Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
25. "Jodi's Huggy Booth"
LAST EDITED ON 06-22-06 AT 04:16 AM (EST)

I have the best idea! And if you don't think so, well then, i'll just have to show you i'm right. So, here's the plan- I have a "Huggy Booth," over at one of the picnic tables. No, don't try to stop me, Antonia! You and I both know, it'll get a better response than "Andy-who-you-tryin'-to-kid-with-that-size-6-bullcorn?"'s eyebrow tweezing and fashion disasters makeovers. Besides, who wouldn't want a hug from my sweet self? Covered in Reddy-whip and Snowballs (I found enough, no thanks to that Andy). I heard her telling Rhonda that I would look like the Stay-puft marshmallow man; well, I've got news for little miss what not to wear- I'm gonna be h-o-t, HOT! Which is more than I can say for her. AH-HAHAHAHAHAHA! Now, should I leave the cans out to warm? Or just be brave and spray it on cold?


Hey, Richie! Wanna help me put a few rhinestones on my snowballs? You foxy, manly hunk of man, you!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

JavaT 189 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-23-06, 09:12 AM (EST)
Click to EMail JavaT Click to send private message to JavaT Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
45. "RE: Jodi's Huggy Booth"
Hot? You? The only time I've known you to be hot is when you're in the kitchen, eating bacon / sausage / Omaha steaks / pancakes / French toast / cupcakes / Dobosh tortes from Swiss Colony / chocolate icing from the can / eggs / biscuits / gravy / scrapple / French fries / cheeseburgers / hamburgers / hot dogs / potato chips / peanut butter and banana sandwiches / pizza / pork chops / beef jerky / corned beef hash / prime rib / refried beans / quesadillas / nachos / mashed potatoes / macaroni and cheese / mayonnaise out of the jar / Ben and Jerry's -----

Whoops, there's the doorbell! I have to go now. My personal trainer is here, to help me tone up before the show. And here comes my wardrobe truck, pulling into the driveway! Loaded down with size 4s and incredibly small bikinis. For me.

Ta for now! *shouts* Hey, Mom, get off that driver's lap! Not everybody wants to be blinded with science!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

catmama 0 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "New Member"

06-24-06, 10:45 PM (EST)
Click to EMail catmama Click to send private message to catmama Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
69. "RE:Jodi's Huggy Booth"
THAT'S IT! I am sick of being called fat by all of you cows! Especially you, Andy! ::ambushes Andy w/ several cans of Reddy-whip:: How do you like looking like a giant pastry? Yeah, that's right, girl! ::shoves two sno balls into mouth:: Oo thee wud oo mehd meh doo? ::swallows cookies:: Where is the chocolate sauce? I NEED HOT FUDGE! And, Miss Andeee, I'll have you know, I DON'T spend all my time eating. ::grabs jar of fudge sauce, drinks:: I'M DIETING!! Size 4... yeah right. And I bet you weigh 120, also- on the moon! What's that? Denial? You know, you should stand in your truth and stand in your grace- you should also go stand in the middle of the freeway during rush hour, and play tag w/ a Mack truck. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date after the show- and I'll be wearing my itty-bitty teeny-weeny pink and fluffy Reddy-balls bikini! Eat that! And you might want to put that mother of yours on a leash...she's looking a bit, how you say...."ruff!"


And another thing...I'm bringing in extra money to the SO House, with my NEW sponsorship from Hostess! I'll be doing appearances as Twinkie the Kid next week! And we're working on the Ding-Dong Diet plan- since carbs are back in, you know. TA!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

06-24-06, 11:58 PM (EST)
Click to EMail kircon Click to send private message to kircon Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
70. "RE:Jodi's Huggy Booth"
Hey Jodi, Just remember a balanced diet is a Ding-Dong in each hand.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"

06-25-06, 00:25 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Anne18 Click to send private message to Anne18 Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
71. "RE:Jodi's Huggy Booth"

Maureen, you kill me!!
LOL!!!


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-22-06, 04:47 PM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
28. "NO MORE TWISTER!!"
::crawling on belly, Marine-style, out of HOT DOG STAND::

::pushes cheap plastic chairs out the way::

(screaming) Richard! Richard! It's not too late! Save yourself!

::runs down street, hops into "FAMLYMAN" Suburban::

::cloud of dust behind tires::

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

06-22-06, 07:03 PM (EST)
Click to EMail kircon Click to send private message to kircon Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
38. "RE: NO MORE TWISTER!!"
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH

*Kelly stands up with toothbrush in hand*

*blinks* *blinks*

Is that you Dr. Stan?

Where am I?

*blinks* *blinks* *blinks*

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-23-06, 01:30 AM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
42. "RE: NO MORE TWISTER!!"
::admires sparkling toothbrush path::

Antonia! Antonia!

Did you make a tutu for Kelly?

::long pause::

And a cothtume for the bathroom??

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

06-22-06, 01:10 PM (EST)
Click to EMail sharnina Click to send private message to sharnina Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
27. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
This show has to take place tomorrow or the whole thing is off! The bills are starting to rack up!

Note to Rhonda: Iyanla will not be available for your little duet so you can quit the posturing with the duet. It's all you now, baby.

Antonia - do you know anything about a $3,000 charge on my credit card. They said my "daughter" made the purchase. Antonia, I don't have children.


Love the tutu, Rhonda. Meet me by the rosebush.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-22-06, 05:36 PM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
32. "Allithun, the Goddeth of Calm"
Don't worry, Jon. There'th already over four hundred dollarth worth of mardi gras beads from some guys who say "Thanks" to Rhonda).

Lookth like we are going to make money from these matches! Imagine! One Twithter dreth rehearthal, and the betth keep pouring in!

Right now Kelly'th the favorite 2:1 . . . Dr. Thtan is the longshot, 117:1 but perthonally, I think the Jill/Deborah match will be the real crowdpleather . . .


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

06-22-06, 06:26 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Sahara Click to send private message to Sahara Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
34. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
What happened to Iyanla, Mr. Murray? Was it some kind of a reaction to the things I burned? Was the universe not pleased with her?

And WHY was Dr. Stan's name in her little black book? Hmmmm....

Well, I can't sing "Sisters" alone. Oh, Cassie...I need you! Would you sing "Sisters" with me, dear? I just need you to do me one tiny favor. I need you to dress up and blacken your skin to look like Iyanla. We can add LOTS of padding. And Dr. VantToLookJung can make you an Iyanla mask. And Andy can take care of your wardrobe. Size 2414 clothes, remember!

We'll use the final version above of the first verse of the song. (I LOVE it when I get my way!)

*gazes into full-length mirror*

Ah, Rhonda, you never cease to amaze me! You are SO good.

I love me, I love me, I love me...

*gives stringy hair one final once-over, grabs red tutu, and heads for rosebush*

I feel pretty, oh so pretty....


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-23-06, 01:57 AM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
44. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
::beep::

Hello. You have reached Dr. Stan's Voodoo Chicken Curse hotline. Hints, tips, how-to's, FAQ . . .press 1. Got a rival? Press 2 . . . Want to freeze an enemy's eyebrows mid-forehead? . . . Press 3. Paralyze someone with fear on the night of their big singing debut? Press 4 . . .


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

06-23-06, 08:00 PM (EST)
Click to EMail sharnina Click to send private message to sharnina Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
56. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
*rustling in bushes as Jon and Rhonda emerge from the rose garden*

Wow... so... wow.

So we ... um... better get on over to the uhhh.... oh yeah, the talent show at the uhhhh... oh - hot dog stand.

*walks away smoothing hair and adjusting clothes*

Wow!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-24-06, 10:21 AM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
62. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"

tee hee

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

06-22-06, 06:32 PM (EST)
Click to EMail kircon Click to send private message to kircon Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
35. "Hey Jon!"
If you lend someone $3000 and never see thta person again, it was probably worth it.

*bends down to smell roses*

Hey Jon, you know the second mouse gets the cheese.

*adjusts pink tutu*

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

06-22-06, 06:24 PM (EST)
Click to EMail kircon Click to send private message to kircon Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
33. "The Talent Show"
LAST EDITED ON 06-22-06 AT 07:08 PM (EST)

*steps up to microphone* *clears throat*

I guess I’ll start this off. I am the star here.

I’m a pro runner, *strikes a running pose*

My name is Niambi. My talent is running. But I can’t show that to you.
I wrote a poem recently as a project. It’s to my one true love.


I SHOUT out my love for you!


My strength to guide me,
Runs deep within
.
Self-confidence is in my hands.
I shout out my love,
That is in my heart.
Under your spell, I will not depart.
All my love I send you
That is the words I speak true.
I pride myself on being smart.
Only with this space apart
Now I know it’s you.

*bows* *runs off stage*


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"

06-22-06, 07:08 PM (EST)
Click to EMail alaholly Click to send private message to alaholly Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
39. "RE: The Talent Show report"
"Attention please. Due to a rather unfortunate *er* accident at the Twistah venue, Dr. Stan will need a little time to regroup. I have asked for special permission for a couple of extra days to finalize our show until Dr. Stan is back on his feet. So ladies, GET BUSY! This is it."

"I also need to come up with some cash to pay for those missin' hot dogs, JILL. Any ideas girls? My credit cahd is *er* no longer working. And I had to promise Mr. Jon that Kim and Niambi would do a special exhibition round of Twistah to make up for the, uh, conflama earlier. He said we can't be losin' any more money on the Twistah concession. No Christie, he didn't ask for you so you bettah finish up your own act."

"The Tweezer kiosk is goin' gangbustahs but everyone is comin' out lookin' like Rhonda. But at least it's bringin' in some bucks! And unfortunately, so far no one is lining up for The Whipped Cream Hugging Booth."

"Lisa has been confined to her cage relaxation room so the men in attendence will be safe welcome. Please steer clear of that area. Do not put your fingahs near the bars windows."

"Okay girls, (yes, that means you too Richard), final rehearsals, so step up, what d'ya got?"


Damn, I'm going to have to find another credit cahd.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

mbinkc 32 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"

06-22-06, 10:14 PM (EST)
Click to EMail mbinkc Click to send private message to mbinkc Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
40. "RE: The Talent Show report"
Helllooo Ladieeesss!!

::is tying pointy white shoes as quickly as possible::

Dr. Stanleeeeeeeyyyy!! What have they done to you, my precious?? I should have known that with so many fatties different body types that there could be an accident. But never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be you, schnookums. What am I to do?? Stay at the freak talent show, or attend to my Stanley?? I can't leave my devoted lard butts fans in a lurch. I know they were going to pay BIG money to see me playing footsie Twister with my precious pookey. Hmmmmmffff...can someone pass me a tissue please?
Antonia, quick, get the box that the Twister game came in and get Hasbro's corporate office on the phone... see who we can sue for damages!! Maybe that will cover some of the costs of the show. And don't tell me you have a headache. This is urgent!
I will be back shortly to continue the game, but the rules are going to have to change. NOBODY hurts my studly Stanley!


Antonia, I found this in Rhonda's tutu...write this down...4897-4697-1064-0045 exp.08/07

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-23-06, 01:44 AM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
43. "RE: The Talent Show report"
::stands beside Richard Simmons::

::slips on giant feathered swan head::

::yanks white mini-tutu over exposed left buttock::


Antonia, I'm tho hononed and humbled to be here at this, the Thtarting Over Talent Show, and would like to expreth my loving loverth' love and validation of my listeningness in thith moment of truth and awareness of truthful honethry and light of my honetht truth.


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"

06-23-06, 09:43 AM (EST)
Click to EMail alaholly Click to send private message to alaholly Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
46. "RE: The Talent Show "
"WTF?!? Yeah, whatevah Allithon *er* Allison. You go stand in your truth ovah theyah, way ovah theyah, but just make sure you keep collectin' the money. And nice costume, hon." (Rolls eyes)

<Wipes whipped cream off shoulder. Removes Jodi's arm>

"Uh Jodi he-yah needs some help. No one is attendin' the uh, Huggin' Booth. Could we get Niambi or Kim to help her out? Or how about you girls, Sommer or Christina? You'd be good at that."

<Wipes whipped cream off back of pants>

"JODI!! Damn, girl!"

"Wheyah's Kelly? We need a clean up big time at the Huggin' Booth area. That place is a mess!"

"And wheyahs Jill? All I got was a big bill for missin' dogs. I need some TALENT girls. Show me your stuff!"

"Okay. This is impohtant. Do we have enough cash to send Dr. Stan a plant or somethin' at the uh, nuthouse hospital? We need to cheer him up so he'll hustle his @ss back heyah in a hurry. Time is runnin' out and we have a few uh, issues. That bearded guy is stressin' about the duet, Richahd's freakin' out, Mama I is missin' and I haven't seen Rhonda since she took off toward the garden in her tutu. And was that Cassie runnin' around in paddin' and a wig? Sh!t! I need help he-yah!!!"

"C'mon ladies! Yes, that includes you Richahd."


Whew! Wheyahs the Happy Punch?
I need a tall one.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-23-06, 12:34 PM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
47. "RE: The Talent Show "
::stands beside Allison in floor length, black and brown floor length tutu::

::clears throat::

::screams:: I'm ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY
::scats:: doo doo doo dah doo
::screams:: I'm CHAFED . . . . and MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD
::scats:: uh huh huh a dooby doo doo
::screams:: KILL YOU, BABY, IF YOU CROSS ME
::scats:: mmmmmm Starting Over doo dah n doo helped me dah n doo
::screams:: FIND THE CENTER OF MY HAAAAAAAAAAAAATE

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

06-23-06, 12:49 PM (EST)
Click to EMail sharnina Click to send private message to sharnina Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
48. "RE: The Talent Show report"
Here Allison, I think I can help you balance the wine glasses. Good idea, Rhonda.

*removes glasses from Allison's arms*
*downs both glasses in less than 8 seconds*
*wipes mouth with back of hand*
*big grin*

Now that's? talent.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-23-06, 02:54 PM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
51. "RE: The Talent Show report"
THITHTERS:

I wish to share that it makethes me uncomfortable when thomeone shtealth my thunder . . . ethpecially when it involves drinking all my wine , you wretched little thkinny thlut!!!. . . That wath my betht North Carolina Tutti-frutti sparkling blend, too.

However, I forgive you in a thpirit of lovey love lovingness . . . and know that I emerge the thuperior human being . . . aware and intactfully flowing in the true truth of my validity.


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

06-23-06, 01:11 PM (EST)
Click to EMail sharnina Click to send private message to sharnina Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
49. "RE: The Talent Show"
My heart cries, but you don’t hear it.
My heart breaks, but you don’t feel it.
My body longs to feel your arms around me.
My lips long to feel your kisses.
My ears long to hear you say I love you.
My eyes long to see your smile and eyes twinkle.
My life longs to have you in it.
My world longs to have you make it complete.
My body longs to feel you lie next to it.
My love longs to have you return it.
My heart will cry, my heart will break.
My body will go limp, my lips will only speak.
My ears will miss your words, my eyes will shed tears.
My life will be so lonely, my world will be so empty.
My love will go unreturned.
My heart aches as my life is turned inside out.
My mind will never forget, my heart will never let go.
I have loved you since the day I met you
But now my heart cries, and you don’t hear it.

I "ardently" love you, Antonia.

*stares - shakes head*

uh ... I mean ... Niambi.


My Heart Cries by Kelly Gray

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

26mitogo 493 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"

06-23-06, 02:18 PM (EST)
Click to EMail 26mitogo Click to send private message to 26mitogo Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
50. "RE: The Talent Show"
::Enter – CHRISTIE - at the last minute ... wearing a long white evening gown with a plunging neckline - however no cleavage is apparent, only low saggy breasts ... the waist and hips stretched until all seams appear about to pop::

::taking tiny quick steps in her 6” stiletto heels, breathless & panting, running to make it in time::

::curlers still in hair::

::sporting a wide beauty queen sash carefully wrapped across her body with the words “Starting Over Beauty Queen” in large gold lettering sparkling almost blindingly in the sun::

::holding an over-sized 5” high rhinestone covered crown in one hand ... in the other, pulling a large suitcase on wheels, filled to overflowing with make-up::

I’m here! I made it! I knew you guys couldn’t do this without me! You know, I am the only one in SO history that has successfully run a huge important event … all by myself … that made tons and tons of money. I know you need me … and besides, I am beautiful! I can’t believe you haven’t sent your people to talk to my people - to beg ME to make a real success of this little carnival/talent show shindig you’re trying to have. Besides, MANY people will pay big bucks to see ME! I AM kind of a big deal, you know. People know me. And I am very beautiful.

I know you think I am too important, too beautiful, and waayyy too expensive for your little “happening” … and normally I would be … but you guys ARE my hopeless special SO friends. You were there for me when I was a nobody. Now that I am a celebrity star, I can be here for you bunch of nobodies wonderful people.

I came right over as soon as I heard you were struggling. Don't worry, I can help you make lots & lots of money. I know how. Oh, and I have compassion also.

I just bought won this beauty crown and sash at my own a very big and important beauty contest. I can model my evening dress first, then my bathing suit. Then I can give the keynote speech. I can tell everyone how to become an important superstar like me. Everyone wants to be like me, you know. Because I am beautiful. And I have compassion.

I also have a dozen cases of blessing candles that everyone will want to buy. Where can I put MY booth?

::looking around::

Richard! … RICHARD! Go get those boxes of blessing candles out of that cab, will ya sweetie? And while you’re at it, pay the fare for me. Be sure to give him a big tip … we want to make sure he knows I’m a rich superstar.

I threw these candles together lovingly created and personally blessed each of these candles. I can sell them for a low SO price of only $100 each and I’ll donate $2 from each one so you can make lots of money. The rest of the money will be for ME …. oh, and I’ll put some of it in my other pocket so I can pretend to give it to my brother for college. yeah right, like he’ll even finish high school!

So where is my dressing room? It is ready isn’t it? I need to finish my hair and makeup. I am beautiful, you know.



I am beautiful, you know. And I have compassion.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

06-23-06, 02:56 PM (EST)
Click to EMail sharnina Click to send private message to sharnina Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
52. "RE: The Talent Show"
And you're a-MAAAAZ-ing too, Christie!
shyeah, right!


God is good all the time and all the time, God is good.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

06-23-06, 07:54 PM (EST)
Click to EMail sharnina Click to send private message to sharnina Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
55. "RE: The Talent Show"
Hey (really high pitched) Christiiiiieeee!

Yoooouuu look aw-*hic*-some! You sooo pr-*hic*-etty, Christie.

Here, you want a drink. C'mon, you know you want one.

Buuuuuuurrrrrp.
*big grin*


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

26mitogo 493 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"

06-24-06, 01:51 PM (EST)
Click to EMail 26mitogo Click to send private message to 26mitogo Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
66. "RE: The Talent Show"
Oh, hi Kim.

Uuuuhhhh ... good to see you! you drunk little psycho slut, you. Thank you, thank you! Yes, you are soooooo right. I AM awesome and I AM sooo pretty. At least you aren't too drunk to see that!

::frantically looks around for Rhonda::

But, no ... no drinks for me. You know that! You know I'm a recovering alcoholic/drug addict/pill popper/surgery addict/caffeine head/x-smoker/chocoholic/food addict with a sweet tooth. NO ONE is supposed to be drinking ANYTHING at all ANYWHERE near me EVER! I know you and your husband are both closet alcoholics. And I understand that your sad miserable life makes you so very jealous of me and makes you need to drink more than ever. Everyone loves me and knows I am the most beautiful SO houseguest ever. But you know I love you … even if no one else does. You are a special person and I have so much compassion for you and all your problems. But … NO DRINKING!!!

RHONDA!! RHONDA!! R-H-O-N-D-A!!!!! Where the c#*&@%^# is Rhonda?? RHONDA … where are you?!?!?! There are people drinking!! Why haven’t you made EVERYONE stop! You know I live in California. You promised me that EVERYONE would support me. You said they would all have to sign a “I Will Support Christie With Anything She Wants ALL THE TIME” contract. This just PISSES ME OFF!



I am beautiful, you know. And I have compassion.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-23-06, 03:02 PM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
53. "RE: The Talent Show"
::belts Mr. Situation in the mouth::

What kind of horse's a$$ lyric is THAT?

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

06-23-06, 07:50 PM (EST)
Click to EMail sharnina Click to send private message to sharnina Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
54. "RE: The Talent Show"
Wow! It's Towanda!

Hey, I saw your sister on American Idol. Was she wasted or WHAT?!?

You know, the two of you should get together. Maybe you would actually sound good if she sang with you.

Nahh.


God is good all the time and all the time, God is good.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-24-06, 09:52 AM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
60. "RE: The Talent Show"
She was wasted . . . and did she ask ME to get wasted with her? Of course not. She just went around behind my back and got wasted and then everyone in the music industry knew she was wasted before I did.

::screams, pounds recliner with dollar store plastic bat::

But I don't need her. I don't need to sound GOOD anymore, my sound is ANGRY.


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

kircon 3239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

06-24-06, 12:37 PM (EST)
Click to EMail kircon Click to send private message to kircon Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
63. "Can I Be Your Backup Singer?"
*Carrying a metal bat*

Hello Towanda, *looks up into Towanda's face* I'm Niambi. I understand your anger.

Was your LC Iyanla. She got me in touch with my anger. Then she took me to a recording studio. Want to hear it?

Thanks for standing up for me. *looks up into Towanda face*

*smiles* *frowns*

I don't think Mr Situation loves me.

*funny lip movements*

Do you?

Let't go outside and I'll give you a sample. Let's look for that sparklely, fuzzy headed white guy. Rich or something like that.

*walks outside, looks for Richard Simmon's Stand* *walks over to corner*

*WHACK* I shout my love out for meeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!



  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-25-06, 00:34 AM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
74. "RE: Can I Be Your Backup Singer?"
::high five::

After you're done here, wanna come with me to Motown?

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-23-06, 10:26 PM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
57. "Confethional Chair Withdom"
::eye crinkly smile into camera::

I'm feeling really authentic right now, tho I thought I would come into the confethional and share my fascinating feelingth and inthights to enlighten and inthpire.

A huge, long line-up ith forming ALL around the block!

Mothtly MEN! With money!

They jutht keep going behind that pretty flower bush over there to meet with Rhonda, and coming out going, "Wow. Wow. $100? What a bargain!"

Jon looked thooooooooo happy when he went to check it out!!!

It'th thrange and wonderful, don't you think?

::hugs Boo-boo::

We mutht have thouthands and thouthands of dollarth here!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-24-06, 09:41 AM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
59. "RE: Confethional Chair Withdom"

tee hee

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"

06-24-06, 04:54 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Anne18 Click to send private message to Anne18 Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
68. "RE: Confethional Chair Withdom"
Ummm Allison, you DO know that the money is NOT yours, right??


The ONLY normal HG in the SO house!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-25-06, 00:25 AM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
72. "RE: Confethional Chair Withdom"
::glare::

I'm feeling really hurt and unfairly quethtioned in the truth of my authentithity and the authentic truthfulneth of my honethty.

::waddles away in swan suit::

::sound of quarters jingling::

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"

06-25-06, 00:32 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Anne18 Click to send private message to Anne18 Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
73. "RE: Confethional Chair Withdom"
Well, if you were authentic you would have NOT taken all those quarters! Give it back! Rhonda! Iyanla! Allithon took money!!
TJ grabs Allison's swan beak.



The ONLY normal one in the SO house!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-25-06, 00:44 AM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
75. "RE: Confethional Chair Withdom"
#$%@#, thith gig BLOWTH! Embeththelment wath tho much eathier at the Magic Johnthon foundation.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

07-10-06, 10:18 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Cygnus%20X1 Click to send private message to Cygnus%20X1 Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
88. "RE: Confethional Chair Withdom"
::waddles away in swan suit::

What?


*consults lawyer for copyright infringement suit*

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"

06-23-06, 11:33 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Anne18 Click to send private message to Anne18 Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
58. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
(Cassie tries not to cry. TJ is talking to her)

Cassie: I can't! I just can't!

TJ: WHat do you mean you can't? You can! and You will! I'm right here with you and we will go on that stage together and sing our duet!"

Cassie: Ohhhh I don't know.... I'mmm Scareeed! (Cassie tries not to cry)

TJ: Come on! Look! There is Rhonda! Rhonda!

Cassie smiles: WHERE??? Hi Rhonda!!

TJ: Let's go on stage now okay?

Cassie: Okay! (Cassie smiles.)

TJ grabs Cassie's hand and they both get on stage.

TJ grabs the microphone. Testing one two...testing...
Can you hear me? OK! Helloooo! How is everyone doing? Cool! I am here with my friend Cassie! Say hello Cassie!

Cassie: HELLO Rhon -

TJ: OK, that is enough. Ummmm, we will sing you a duet that we worked so hard on. Didn't we, Cassie?

Cassie smiles: Yep!

TJ: Okay, here goes!

Cassie and TJ sing together:

I'm a little bit country
And I'm a little bit rock 'n roll
I'm a little bit of Memphis and Nashville
With a little bit of Motown in my soul
I don't know if it's good or bad
But I know I love it so
I'm a little bit country
And I'm a little bit rock 'n roll

THANK YOU!! (Both bow and hold for three seconds then get up again.) Thank you!


I'm a little bit country.


I'm a little bit rock 'n roll.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-24-06, 10:03 AM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
61. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
I'm gonna get you two for that.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

06-24-06, 12:43 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Sahara Click to send private message to Sahara Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
64. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
Now, Cassie, you had better go get all made up for our "Sisters" duet. You'll do this for your bestest friend, right?

I know Iyanla's hair is not blonde, dear, but you can do this for me, right? Here is your son to cheer you on!

Oh, by the way, I saw Iyanla on tv. I think she must be very lost without her special power tools that I burned. *evil sneer with diabolical laugh* She was on top of the Sears Tower (I think she forgot which city we are in now) yelling things out to the universe. "I want Dr. Stan! I want my special verse! I want absolute control over every woman whose life I ever touched! I want my CLOTHES! I need to sell my CLOTHES! I want to be a size 10! I want Rhonda dead! Universe...where are you? Oh, I wish I had my communication device! I want to play Twister!" They were trying to coax her down. I think she may be making her OWN little trip to the looney bin hospital.

*looks at camera*
*single tear drips down cheek*

I am so concerned for my poor sister Iyanla. I wish she would remember my principles of self-love. *gets choked up* Please come back, Iyanla!

Cameraman: That's a wrap!

Okay, let's hope they keep the witch locked up for a while. Come on, Cassie, we have a show to perform!


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"

06-24-06, 04:23 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Anne18 Click to send private message to Anne18 Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
67. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
LAST EDITED ON 06-24-06 AT 04:52 PM (EST)

MY SON!! Thank you for coming to see me and my friends!

Cassie gets moving and says "Bestest friend Rhonda, your wish is my command."


I knew we were sisters!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

06-25-06, 01:18 AM (EST)
Click to EMail sharnina Click to send private message to sharnina Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
76. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
Oh, Mom-muh! I just kneeewww I got mah incredible musical taliiint from yeeeeewww!

*hugs Cassie*
Uh, don't mess uuuhhp mah hay-er, pleeeze.


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Anne18 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"

06-25-06, 01:25 AM (EST)
Click to EMail Anne18 Click to send private message to Anne18 Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
77. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
SON, please do NOT let Andy touch your hair! She will turn it yellow!


Do NOT touch my hair!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"

06-25-06, 04:11 AM (EST)
Click to EMail SeasonedRefinement Click to send private message to SeasonedRefinement Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
79. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
<Iyanla enters the rooms with "her people" around her. They push and shove everyone out of the way and suddenly, a familar, but unwelcome, booming, fog-horn of a voice over-powers the room and grabs everyone's attention:>

OK LADIES! Gloves off...the cameras ain't rollin', but I am! Sit down. You too Rhonda. And just so's you know it - and know it real good - I don't care a crap about you burnin' up my spell books and charms, the big stuff is at Coven Central anyways. But the security tape of you diggin' through my stuff is not goin' to play well in the courtroom. Actually, you might end up hating it more than your performance in Puppetmaster - oh....and footnote - this time, Sistah Della Reese won't be bangin' the gavel, ahahahahahahahahahah! Sistahs, my A$$! We ain't nevah been nuthin' like sistahs...

When I allowed myself to be talked in to helpin' you degenerates, I didn't know I was gonna be expected to find ya'll work as television personalities. What? You think it's fair that my former self, Rhonda Harris, had to bust her butt, slum it, suck it up, do the Yoruban Priestess thing, change her name, become Iyanla Van Zant, write her books, fight with Oprah, get slain by Barbara Walters, and finally get offered this gig - and you clowns should have it handed to you because you can't figure out how find and keep a regular nine to five job, and then how to function normally in your off hours? Oh no, girlfriends. Not on my watch.

I mean - look at ya'll! Ya'll are FAT! Ya'll are average. Ya'll are only funny when you ain't meaning ta be funny! I got me Miss Jill sayin' "Oh Iyanla, I'm such a fan, and if you could just say that I've singlehandedly dismantled the myth of everything that is the worst of who we are, I'll get my mother to clean your house for free for a year. Well, I gave that speech -- quite convincingly, I might add! I almost believed it myself - I am that good at playin' to the camera. And where's yo mama now, Miss Jill? Apparently, if I want to know, I have to read your WEBPAGE - which is slathered all ova the internet. I read about hurricanes, condemned buildings, she's a movin' here, or she's a moving there - but I ain't seen her butt in my house!

And Christie...for shame, for shame. Candles and charms? Are you stealin' them candles from unlocked churches girl? Do ya have a conscience, can I ask ya that? Journals signed by Christie of Startin' Ova' Fame? Fame? Starting Ova has no fame, dummy! If it did, we'd be filming season four now!

Besides, who the hell is "Christie from Starting Ovah Fame" anyway? Really, girl...have you lost what few marbles you had? Do you think you're a somebody now because you came on TV to tell everybody that you're a nobody? What's the thinkin' on that? Do tell, darlin' share it with the group, cause, I'm just a dyin' to know!

Alright...You had a hot and sweaty Twista game - you didn't call Iyanla. Thanks. I wanted to play. I said that. But, all I'm good for is shining light and wisdom and goodness and truth and honesty and purity and revelation and epiphanies. No one thinks Iyanla needs downtime. And that hurts. But, all the great religious figures were misunderstood. Me and Jesus have a lot in common besides being Gods.

Here's somethin' I've put together for the talent show. I guess it isn't happenin' today, so ya'll can videotape my performane today with a camcorder and show it at a later date. I figure if Allithon - yes, you lisping fatty - I said Allithon - can send in videotape of her acceptance speech for an award at a fund raisin' organization, then I, Iyanla Van Zant, can certainly do the same for a talent show.

Now, this isn't a poem, it's a song. It has to be sung to the tune of the "The Itsy Bitsy Spider". I have to sing it, because if I read it, the tempo is terrible.

"An itsy-bitsy self-esteem had to be in place,
and lots of women didn't have a trace,
in the Starting Over house, it wouldn't do,
for a woman to get smart and say "Life coach, %*&^ you!"

And somehow, it seems so right to address you in little nursery rhymes and songs...because you really are juveline delinquents at heart - so, here's another, and I'm usin' the tune from "Rock-a-Bye-Baby".

"Good-a-bye Start-ing Over TV
Sorry but there's no more to see,
when the show's gone, the image will fall,
and down will come Bunim, Murray, and all.

Now, I might forgive ya'll for all your indiscretions IF we can play a game of thong Twista!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

06-25-06, 12:24 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Sahara Click to send private message to Sahara Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
80. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
Um...Iyanla...I don't think evidence sent in from the nuthouse looney bin hospital is going to be held in an authentic light. Stuff you leave lying around at the Starting Over house is fair game anyway. You know nothing is sacred there. Not even you. And don't worry...I know now why Dr. Stan is in your little black book. I have it on DVD, and it ain't pretty.

(You may think we did not notice that all of "your people" are wearing white coats.)

I don't know anyone here now who cares enough to spring ya after that little tirade. Dr. Stan is having his own issues...Have fun convincing them that you do not have a "God" complex!

By the way, that size 10 hospital gown you insisted on leaves way more than your rootin' tootin' big behind for all to see! And it ain't pretty!


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.
Oh, and Christie is very famous, because she is in MY book.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"

06-25-06, 05:00 PM (EST)
Click to EMail SeasonedRefinement Click to send private message to SeasonedRefinement Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
85. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
Well, alright then, Miss Thang with the Spock eyebrows! One concession - and only one: that "hospital gown", which, by the way it wasn't - it was a "spa treatment cover-up" - and it was a size 6. That's why it was so revealing. Was everyone getting all hot and bothered talking about my glorious orbital derriere? I can imagine they were. You know what "The Black Eyed Peas" say about all the junk inside my trunk!

What you thought was a stint in the looney bin was a vacation in a star studded spa, Miss "enquiring mind". You couldn't even get into a place like that unless you put on a grey uniform, a white apron, and pushed a vaccuum. My colleagues and I would like this info to be kept secret.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

06-25-06, 06:24 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Sahara Click to send private message to Sahara Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
86. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
You can call it a "spa" or anything you want, Iyanla dear, but I saw the television news footage, and we all know that what we see on television is true, right? I saw the ambulance, I saw you shaking your fist screaming at the universe, I saw you trying to cast spells on your captors. So don't think you are fooling me, honey.

By the way, that tattoo of your face on your hiney is quite a nice touch. I'll have to get with Dr. V. about doing that for me (not your face, but mine, of course!).


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

26mitogo 493 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"

06-25-06, 05:00 PM (EST)
Click to EMail 26mitogo Click to send private message to 26mitogo Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
84. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
Wow! I think you are right, Rhonda. Iyanla HAS gone psycho ... stand'n there rant'n & rave'n on & on about Starting Over not being famous. Surely everyone sees that it IS a wonderful, life-changing, soul-saving show and all. And to say WE aren’t famous? She MUST be nuts!

::begins to cry::

What she said to me just PISSES ME OFF! I know you said she's crazy and all but why would she ever say those mean and hateful words about ME?? She is acting like I'm not SPECIAL. Rhonda, quick! Tell me again how perfect I am. How special I am just because I am me. Say again about how I am standing in my truth now and because I'm authentic people all over the world admire me and look to me to help them solve all of their problems. I know I am completely healed and all, but that mean 'ole Priestess Iyanla didn't say nice things about me! You were right. There ARE some miserable people out there who will still say mean things. I'll just have to use my tools to remember what you told us … that the only reason people say bad things is because they aren't healed like we are and they are jealous of our fame and beauty.

I knew Iyanla was psycho all along! Remember when Kim and everybody had that big drunk party? Well, I told on them to Iyanla the next day … I told her they weren't supporting me since they were drinking around me. She didn't even punish them! You know what she said to me instead? You're not going to believe this! She said, the contract they signed to support me didn't say that they would never drink around me so they really didn't break that contract! She wanted me to learn how to not drink around people who are drinking. Was that crazy or what?! Didn't she know about the contract YOU signed with me? The one that said I don't have to do any work and you will make sure everyone does everything I want. FINALLY by BofR everyone DID get in trouble! I guess you showed her who's boss!! So do the same thing now and make her say I am special, I am famous, I am the queen, everyone loves me, and everyone has to do what I want them to!

::snickering::

Ha! How could she say I'm not famous?! All she has to do is read the comments from my fans on MySpace. Heck, they LOVE me out there. They say so! They look to ME to inspire them. I give them a reason to smile cuz they have miserable lives without me. And I tell them all the wonderful things I am doing with my brother since I am raising him because I am good & compassionate. They tell me I am a perfect mother and that they are learning how to be good mothers by reading what I do. I HAVE to keep posting because there are so many people who won't know what to do or how to live without me. They won't be able to get tools like mine if I don't keep telling them how. Surely Iyanla knows that ... well, when she isn't in her crazy mind, that is! And doesn’t she remember that you wrote about me in your book??? That crazy broad … of course I’m famous!

And why is she talking about me loosing some marbles? I never had any marbles. I didn't even have marbles when I was growing up. Doesn't she remember that my mother was taking drugs and I was fat (before I became beautiful like I am now) so I didn't play with marbles? What would I do with marbles anyway? Well, I guess if I had some I could sell them on eBay. And I could put a tiny little autograph on each one. THAT should make me lots of money! … cuz I’m famous, I’m beautiful, and people want anything I touch!

I'm glad psycho-Iyanla was yelling about my candles and charms and journals. That was good advertising. Now that everyone heard her yelling about them I can sell sooo many more and spread so much more love and blessings to the world. I'm just like the Pope since I bless a lot of people with my candles and give them love since I found out I have so much love inside me.

And now that so many people want to buy my charms it will become real popular to wear them on a string for a necklace. It will become just like those silly yellow plastic bracelets that everyone wears from that bike riding guy that got cancer in his junk area. He's famous, he sells his bracelets and gives money to a charity. I'm famous, I sell charms & give money to me ... uh ... I mean, my bank account so I can make my brother act like a sister when I want him to do girl things with me like getting his hair done or a pedicure.

And what a good idea about taking the candles from churches. I got the 1st ones from the dollar store for real cheap. And they sold me some leftover ugly wrapping paper for real cheap. I made my brother cut out the hearts. Sometimes I even let him help me glue them but mostly I do that myself cuz I looooovvvvee the glue ... but I'm not addicted cuz I healed all my addictions when I was in the Starting Over house. But if I get the candles for free from churches it will be OK cuz I will be helping the church. I'll send them to people at their house so they don't have to go all the way to a church. And since they are for blessing people and that's what I'M doing too, then I'm just helping God. Iyanla, you might be one crazy b!*ch but you have a good idea here!!!

So go on back to the looney house and take the nice pills they give you. They really are great pills, you know. Get as many of them as you can and put the extras in your pocket .. I’ll come get them. Rhonda made me throw all mine in that stupid fireplace so now I’m out. I’m not addicted anymore so it’s OK. I’ll pretend I’m coming to visit you in the crazy ward, like we’re still friends, and you can give me the pills then. Have a happy (hee hee) stay!



I am beautiful, you know. And I have compassion.
I am very famous because I am in Rhonda’s book.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

06-25-06, 06:37 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Sahara Click to send private message to Sahara Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
87. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
*sits down, puts protective arm around Christie while wiping away her tears*

There, there, my little pet, we both know that we are both beautiful, right, dear? Don't let that Iyanla upset you. I will keep that wicked witch away from you for a while, my sweet. It is just so compassionate of you to offer to dispose of her medication for her. You have such a big butt heart.

HEY!!! Whaddaya think you are doing? Come here, you!

*runs to group of people watching Twister while drinking beer*

*grabs the beers, pouring them out one at a time*

There will be NO drinking anywhere near anywhere near where Miss Christie is, get it? Here, please sign this contract binding you to this for life...thank you!


Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.
We are famous, dear, and don't you forget it!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

mbinkc 32 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"

06-25-06, 01:53 AM (EST)
Click to EMail mbinkc Click to send private message to mbinkc Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
78. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
*sounds of sirens getting closer*

My...haaaaiiirrr...mmmmmffffffggggggrhrh...my sparklie shiny...cough...tank top...ooooohhhwwwww...my...short shorts...

Stanleeeeyyyy!!! They got meeeee!!

*touches head and feels a big dent from the baseball bat whack*

What did...cough...I dooooo...choke...wrong?? Why did you...sniff...huuuuurrt meeeeee????


This is going to require more than a tissue...

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-25-06, 12:52 PM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
81. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
::grabs Richard::

::starts giving him mouth-to-mouth::

(inbetween breaths) I want you to liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive! Be my BOO-BOO!

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

BlowingOver 143 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

06-25-06, 12:56 PM (EST)
Click to EMail BlowingOver Click to send private message to BlowingOver Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
82. "RE: Be the Houseguest Roleplay -Week 20"
Yes, please, take her.

  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

06-25-06, 03:11 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Sahara Click to send private message to Sahara Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
83. "Ach, pleaze come to my leetle booth!"
I am givink faze makeoverz to anyvone who vants them today. Come zee my before and after picturez of Fraulein Rhonda! I haz made her ZO beautiful. *blush* I juzt love makink people look beautiful! It varmz my leetle heart.


  Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top


Lock | Archive | Remove

Lobby | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic

p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
about this site   •   advertise on this site  •   contact us  •   privacy policy   •