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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Be The Living Damned Week #3: Antichrists In (Toilet) Training."
Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-27-06, 04:31 PM (EST)
 
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"Be The Living Damned Week #3: Antichrists In (Toilet) Training." |
You know, I think I'm starting to figure out why Virginia is (censored) here. And given that, perhaps I'd better let her (blurred) know what she'd be getting (bleeped) into. First, we need a decoy. Everyone, let's go out for hot dogs! Yes, that's right: (censored) hot dogs are a healthy part of a balanced breakfast as long as you only have that kind of breakfast once every thirty years, because it takes that much time for the scales to tilt back the other way. Notice the (blurred) one they named after me? It's a very unique taste. First you eat it, and then it judges your stomach as being unworthy to digest it and kicks the thing out through your navel. Tom, you can make chili dogs! This explains so much... Heather, get over to the men's team: they're unbalanced, and I don't just mean Tom's delusional episodes. Guess what? We're open for lunch! Everyone back to work! Memorize your menus. Potatos au slice-slice con frogs. Can everyone do that? No? Too bad. Here comes Virginia's destiny. My sperm are so powerful, they force the egg to split on contact. I never produce anything less than quintuplets. And they all act like me. And talk like me. And they may even one day cook like me, which is part of why they all talk like (censored) me. Oops, got to watch my tongue around the children. Wouldn't want to (blurred) the little buggers. Jean Phillipe, you've never looked so good. More silly string for everyone! ...not you, Keith. You're quite silly enough. So we can all make burgers. Hooray. Let's try another dinner service. Where are the scallops? What's the proper consistency for risotto? What's the frequency, Kenneth? What's the person on your assist station working on, Tom? Can any of you (censored) people learn from experience? Virginia, cry for me. Any prospective partner of mine has to be able to cry on cue, because you'll be doing a lot of it. Sara, you're smirking for some reason. I'm going to believe it's from confidence. For now... Rachel has left her money in the suite and her brains in the freezer. And Garret, that last dish was worth five to ten in Leavenworth, or $5.95 in Woolworth. My God, we're living in a previously unreleased Tears For Fears single. Shut it down again -- and these are my dreams -- and these are my idiots... Both teams nominate one person. Go. Go now. Take my apron with you and clean it with your tongues. Keith, much to my very great surprise, you are slowly starting to stop sucking. It must be Heather's influence on you. Sara, that smirk still becomes you. Who's up? Tom and -- Virginia? No, that's not right. I haven't broken her in yet. Why didn't you nominate Rachel? Why does anyone think it would have mattered? Give me your jacket, stockerbroker boy. Your next career change will be to appear on Battle Of The Network Reality Stars. You can be the insurmountable obstacle. Seven left. You know, for a moment there, I thought I was going to (censored) get rid of two at once, too... 
(Roleplaying game where people take the parts of the HK staff, contestants, dinners, props, and incidental characters. The following parts are claimed: Gordon (host)
Mary Ann (sous'chef)
Jean Phillipe (matre'd)
Heather (contestant)
Giacomo (contestant)
Virginia (contestant)
Tom (contestant)
Rachel (contestant) Everyone and everything else is up for grabs. See the signup thread at http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/DCForumID86/89.shtml to take a part and request a sigpic: ones for the remaining contestants are already available, and you can play eliminated characters if you want to. You can also take on the kitches, the suite, hot tub -- anything inanimate which might be vaguely interesting -- and anyone can drop in and be a victim diner at any time. Just keep the banter to the Be The threads as much as possible: people have been known to get confused and think we're the actual contestants. Seriously. Three, two, one -- interact!)
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weltek 16933 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-27-06, 04:47 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Be The Living Damned Week #3: Antichrists In (Toilet) Training." |
*knock knock*
Hello? Anybody there? Chef, did you really mean it when you fired me? I can cry. I'm a sensitive guy. When you insulted my hair, I cried inside. So, please, give me another chance? *silence* Keith? I have a Baby Ruth for you. Come over here buddy, come on. Open the door for me & I'll give you the candy bar. *silence* Jean Phillipe? Mary Ann? Hey, I just um, forgot something in the kitchen. Will you let me in? *starts making plan to hit John Phillipe on the head with a frying pan & steal his clothes* 
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sporkman 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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06-30-06, 04:28 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Be The Living Damned Week #3: Antichrists In (Toilet) Training." |
**Joining Giacomo in the Loser's Back Alley**Giacomo, This is all your fault.If I could cook and you were still on the show this week, I would still be on Top Chef. You should have been kicked off this week, not me. I was Top Wiener Chef!! I should have immunity!! **Looking around** Um, Giacomo, where is everyone else? Where's Polly, Gabe and Larry? You didn't eat them did you? I mean, they do send the rejected food to us, right? **Banging on the back door** LET ME IN YOU <CENSORED> <CENSORED>!!! I SHOULD HAVE IMMUNITY!! I HAVE IMMUNITY!!!
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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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06-27-06, 06:15 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Be The Living Damned Week #3: Antichrists In (Toilet) Training." |
Here comes Virginia's destiny. My sperm are so powerful, they force the egg to split on contact. I never produce anything less than quintuplets.Come on Virginia show me a sign
Send up a signal I'll throw you the line
The stained-glass curtain you're hiding behind
Never lets in the sun
Darlin' only the good die young
(woah x5 )
I tell ya
Only the good die young x2 Alters the "random" feature to play this repeatedly Gordon's Ipod
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sporkman 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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06-28-06, 09:32 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: Be The Living Damned Week #3: Antichrists In (Toilet) Training." |
<Censored> Yeah!! Did you see me dominate that kitchen. All of you other so-called chefs just stood around while I wowed Chef Ramsey. I could have handled all of the orders by myself. Weiner...Sweat..Bun..Sweat...Chili...Sweat...Cheese..Sweat...Done!
<Censored> Yeah!! That was one <censored> difficult meal to make. That's the problem with Hell's Kitchen. Then dishes are just too easy. I get bored and distracted when I have to make easy dishes. If you wanted me to make you a Chili Cheese all beef wellington weiner, I'd make you the world's best. Plain Beef Wellington; boring! Where's the Chili? Where's the Cheese? Where's the extra special marinade? You are all lucky this wasn't Hell's Weiner stand. None of you would stand a chance against me. I can't believe I'm going home now. I thought Chef Ramsey liked me. I thought he wanted fast food chefs. Why else would he bring us to Pinks? When he threw his chef's apron at me, I thought that was a good sign. Isn't that like having a pro athlete throw his game worn jersey to you? Now what do I do? I changed jobs 5 times trying to get onto a reality show.
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