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"NFL Week #3 Complaining Thread."
Estee 55340 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-20-13, 05:35 PM (EST)
 
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1. "Kitty-cat ouch." |
Fair Using this from the Bill Simmons pick column: given that Snidget and I are kind of up against each other this week in the early contest for Leaders Of The Svck...'Giants (-1.5) over PANTHERS
You know the problems with the Giants right now: Eli is the first player since 2005 to throw at least seven picks in the first two games. They've given up 77 points in two weeks. And even though only 22 teams have come back from 0-2 since 1990, the fact that they did it in 2007 and are saying things like "We've been 0-2 before, we've dug ourselves into a hole before, and been able to fight our way out of it." (Tom Coughlin's words) … I mean, is that a positive or a negative? Can you possess real urgency if you know better and feel like there's no real reason to panic yet? This happened to them last year, too — they kept waiting for that "Nobody Believes In Us" switch to kick in and it never happened. The good news: They're going against the immortal Ron Rivera, who has run out of ways to blow victories and is now repeating the same late-game mistakes that he's already made in other games. Steve Smith defended last Sunday's Rivera boner by saying "It was the right decision. I don't care what you think. You're sitting up there in the press box," which makes me want to move on because, like everyone else, I'm terrified of Steve Smith. But here's a sampling of what my readers thought. Josh L. in Baltimore: "I was texting back and forth with a friend who is a Bills fan. As the Panthers clung to a 20-17 lead, they reached the Bills 30 at the two minute warning. This is the exact text that I sent my Bills friend (with the typos left in): 'Panthers chewing up clock. But Bills still have all 3 timeouts. Lets see how Rivera blows this one. FG unit on 4th and 1 on 22 with 1:43 left. Bills get Td at end. Final score Bills-24, panthers-23.'" Ben Logan in Austin: "Ron Rivera is now 2-14 in games decided by 7 points or less. Is this epic enough that we can start using 'Ronrivera' as a euphemism for a disease in which a coach just can't win the close games? E.g. 'He was a great guy and players liked him, but was prone to the debilitating spasms of Ronrivera.' Also, it's 2013 — how come scientists can't find a cure for Ronrivera?" Dave in Greensboro: "I am sure we'll see a lot of 'EJ Manuel is Coming of Age' pieces this week, but isn't this really like losing your virginity to a post-meltdown Lindsay Lohan? If Ron Rivera isn't the worst head coach in the NFL, surely he is the easiest?" Jake in D.C.: (Extended and totally inappropriate analogy that includes phrases like "Ron Rivera storms into the room" and "lay there in pain" and ends with this line: "Stop punching me in the dick, Ron Rivera." You're better off not seeing this one. But I fully enjoyed it.) Grant M. in Raleigh: "Seeing the Panthers blow game after game in the 4th quarter due to Rivera's complete ineptness is starting to take years off my life. I find it funny that Rivera, the worst game closer in the NFL, shares his name with the best baseball closer ever. In October when both of them are out of work (hopefully), my only wish is to see them paired together. Maybe Mariano and Ron star in a sitcom called the Two Riveras. Story lines include them going to a bar with Ron buying drinks for a girl all night until Mariano sweeps in at closing time to take her home while Ron stands there with a blank look on his face. Every week the same situation happens and nothing changes because that is the life of a Panthers fan." To recap: We just heard Ron Rivera compared to a disease, losing your virginity to Lindsay Lohan, getting punched in the dick, and being the Bizarro Mariano Rivera. Also, he made someone feel telepathic. I'm parlaying the Giants with "Rivera gets fired during Carolina's Week 4 bye."' ...well, it could be worse. You could be a Jaguars fan. Here's a betting line I've never seen before: Jacksonville is getting twenty points against the Seahawks. If you take the Jaguars, they can be beaten 38-19 and you'll be having a good day. And given that, do you like your odds? http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9678276/florida-tv-station-explains-reason-airs-jacksonville-jaguars-game. ...maybe not. It's a weird week for the big lines: the Raiders are starting with a theoretical sixteen against Denver. Put those two together and it feels like Vegas is begging for someone to please bet, although I'm not sure on which side. And to finish with the Simmons peek, which do you prefer for any team blowing its season to get the first pick? Drowney For Clowney
Play Dead For Ted Cleveland rocks self-destructs!
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Estee 55340 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-21-13, 09:19 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: NFL Week #3 Complaining Thread." |
How can we miss him when he won't go away?
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Snidget 43987 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-13, 04:11 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Seven" |
Gah, how are we supposed to lose at the end when the backup quarterback proves he can throw interceptions just as good as Eli???!?!?!?!
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Estee 55340 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-22-13, 04:12 PM (EST)
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17. "Football copycats." |
So I'm guessing on Monday, the Vikings will trade their best offensive player for draft picks?
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AyaK 10126 desperate attention whore postings
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09-23-13, 03:37 AM (EST)
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20. "RE: Football copycats." |
I think Adrian Peterson would like to trade the Vikings.
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Estee 55340 desperate attention whore postings
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09-22-13, 05:48 PM (EST)
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19. "It's laziness, really." |
Nearly halftime and the Seahawks haven't covered the point spread yet.
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