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"Pro Badly Programed Video Game Bowl complaining thread."
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Original message

Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 10:41 AM (EST)
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"Pro Badly Programed Video Game Bowl complaining thread."
Better Business Bureau Warning: The following product is not the sport known as "football". It does not contain football, football-like substance, football derivatives, or football leftovers. Any reference to this product as "football" made by the announcers are considered to be parody and protected under free speech unless made by someone not associated with the NFL, in which case, they will sue you into the ground. No promise of football being present in this product is directly made, implied, suggested, or bloody likely. Any attempt to use this product for the same purposes you would use football for are doomed to failure and frankly, your own damn fault. Do not attempt to resell this product as football. Do not use this product for fantasy purposes. Do not, if you are "playing" on defense, attempt to tackle, stop, make physical contact with, or breathe on an offensive player. Do not, unless you want the NFL to sue you twice, laugh. Any attempt to watch this product is taken at your own risk and no lawsuits will be honored, although they may be used as an avenue to sue you into the ground a third time.

Do, in the name of whatever deity you believe in, bet the over.

And don't cry. At least not where people can see you.

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Pro Badly Programed Vide... Snidget 01-27-13 1
 RE: Pro Badly Programed Vide... cahaya 01-27-13 2
   RE: Pro Badly Programed Vide... PepeLePew13 01-27-13 9
       RE: Pro Badly Programed Vide... Estee 01-27-13 11
 RE: Pro Badly Programed Vide... Estee 01-27-13 3
   RE: Pro Badly Programed Vide... cahaya 01-27-13 4
       RE: Pro Badly Programed Vide... Estee 01-27-13 6
 It's symbolic. Estee 01-27-13 5
 Um... Estee 01-27-13 7
 Rules. Estee 01-27-13 8
 The best football players... Estee 01-27-13 10
 *helpless laughter* Estee 01-27-13 12
 RE: Pro Badly Programed Vide... Estee 01-27-13 13
 Defection. Estee 01-27-13 14
   RE: Defection. cahaya 01-27-13 15
 End of the 1st quarter: 7-7. Estee 01-27-13 16
 RE: Pro Badly Programed Vide... cahaya 01-27-13 17
 He was saving it for the postseason... Estee 01-27-13 18
 The crew cahaya 01-27-13 19
 RE: Pro Badly Programed Vide... cahaya 01-27-13 20
 62-35 cahaya 01-27-13 21

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Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 06:51 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Pro Badly Programed Video Game Bowl complaining thread."
Apparently they've been threatened that if they remove all football-lite substances they won't get a free trip to Hawaii next year.
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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 07:38 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Pro Badly Programed Video Game Bowl complaining thread."
From NFL news a few days ago:

Indianapolis Colts quarterback Andrew Luck has been added to the AFC Pro Bowl roster, replacing New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, who pulled out of the game because of an undisclosed injury.

Let's guess what his undisclosed injury is... injured pride.

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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 08:35 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Pro Badly Programed Video Game Bowl complaining thread."
Or maybe Gisele Bundchen decided to take her anger out on Brady himself instead of ragging on the WRs as usual.
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 08:38 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Pro Badly Programed Video Game Bowl complaining thread."
I vote snit fit over the Reed fine. Honestly, I don't know why that would keep him from showing up. It's his dream game -- he can finally intentionally ground the ball all he likes and the refs don't even have to pretend there was anyone within three fields of his throw.
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 08:05 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Pro Badly Programed Video Game Bowl complaining thread."
*looks at stands*

How can the programmers expect to fool anyone when they don't even bother inserting a virtual crowd?

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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 08:15 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Pro Badly Programed Video Game Bowl complaining thread."
Looks like they canceled the game for a $10/ticket outdoor music concert.

Woodstock it's not.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 08:22 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Pro Badly Programed Video Game Bowl complaining thread."
And NBC is using the pregame segment as their Super Bowl show.

Well, it's not the earliest anyone's started the thing...

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 08:19 PM (EST)
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5. "It's symbolic."
The Pro Bowl trophy is completely hollow.
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 08:28 PM (EST)
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7. "Um..."
"Coming up next, the Pro Bowl, presented by McDonald's."

*Sonic commercial*

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 08:32 PM (EST)
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8. "Rules."
4-3 defense is mandatory at all times.

No blitzing. Ever.

Intentional grounding is fully legal...

...and there's the first snicker.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 08:37 PM (EST)
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10. "The best football players..."
NFC starts the game!

NFC fumbles the ball!

(Yes, it was that fast.)

AFC recovers on the NFC six!

AFC -- cannot advance the ball in three tries! It's time for -- wait, it's the Pro Bowl, no one brought a kicker -- a daring pass on 4th and goal!

AFC scores!

Audience bluescreens!

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 08:42 PM (EST)
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12. "*helpless laughter*"
Announcers: "The defense has to set the tone for the game."
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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 08:50 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Pro Badly Programed Video Game Bowl complaining thread."
J.J. Watt has done -- something -- to his hand: it's covered in a bloodlike substance. He's not even sure what happened, but assures any Goodells who might be watching that it meant he was playing hurt. The Goodell closest to the game opens a bottle of bubbly and toasts the destruction of the Texans, who don't sell enough merchandise for his satisfaction. Also, now he gets to deny J.J. medical coverage for any long-term effects, and that's always fun!

Meanwhile, the scant gathering in the stands asks when the scrimmage will get off the field so they can bring the $10 concert back.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 09:00 PM (EST)
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14. "Defection."
Jeff Saturday just decided to play for the AFC.

I'm serious. He went over to their side, got in the huddle, then assumed his position at center and snapped to Peyton. Because he's retiring after this game and just wanted to hook up with his old Colt partner one last time.

This would be touching, but it's the Pro Bowl. I've seen less affected wrestling scripts.

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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 09:10 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Defection."
LAST EDITED ON 01-27-13 AT 09:40 PM (EST)

I was just about to post about this and, yes, Manning and Saturday had a center/QB partnership that lasted an incredible 13 seasons.

It sounds like the Colts want Saturday back in a front-office capacity, according to Bleacher Report.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 09:13 PM (EST)
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16. "End of the 1st quarter: 7-7."
That mai-tai hangover jet lag is extra powerful this year.
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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 09:21 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: Pro Badly Programed Video Game Bowl complaining thread."
For a short while, it's Manning vs Manning.

Payton takes a long sack on first down and he's off the field with a 3-and-out.

Eli, characteristically on the other hand, does even better by throwing a pick-6.

14-10 AFC.

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 09:22 PM (EST)
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18. "He was saving it for the postseason."
The Eli Interception. Patent established.
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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 09:49 PM (EST)
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19. "The crew"
It's 22-year veteran Ed Hochuli's crew for the Pro Bowl.

He actually calls a bonafide pass interference in the end zone!

Meanwhile, a number of NFL officials question the NFL's choice of referee for the Super Bowl.

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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 11:08 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: Pro Badly Programed Video Game Bowl complaining thread."
Was that supposed to be an onside kick attempt?

First time I've seen a kicker use the heel of the foot to kick the ball.

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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
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01-27-13, 11:43 PM (EST)
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21. "62-35"
And the NFC breaks the scoring record set by the AFC last year. It'll be good for a year.

And the Vegas bookies would be wise to put the over/under at 100.

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