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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 12:52 PM (EST) "NFL Conference Championships complaining thread." In a stunning show of solidarity, members of the other thirty-one NFL teams stated they would go out and make sure they were accused of sexual assault before gametime on Sunday, just to show solidarity with their forlorn brother. They also said 'It happens every week anyway, so what the hell.' Whether it typically happens on purpose: to be determined.   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    49ers vs. Falcons Estee 01-20-13 1  Kickoff. Estee 01-20-13 2  RE: NFL Conference Championships co... Estee 01-20-13 3    Injury time out Snidget 01-20-13 4  More 1st quarter stuff. Estee 01-20-13 5    17-0 PepeLePew13 01-20-13 6  Oopsie? Estee 01-20-13 7  Can they just get ten yards? Estee 01-20-13 8    RE: Can they just get ten yards? Snidget 01-20-13 9  RE: NFL Conference Championships co... Estee 01-20-13 10  Closing out the first thirty. Estee 01-20-13 11  Second half begins. Estee 01-20-13 12  RE: NFL Conference Championships co... Estee 01-20-13 13  The comedy portion of our program. Estee 01-20-13 14  Fourth quarter kicks in. Estee 01-20-13 15  Jinx vs. jinx. Estee 01-20-13 16  Working the clock. Estee 01-20-13 17  The spinning coin. Estee 01-20-13 18  NFC champion: San Francisco 49ers. Estee 01-20-13 19  Ravens vs. Patriots. Estee 01-20-13 20    Oh crap. PepeLePew13 01-20-13 21        woo hoo!! My pool team lost!! byoffer 01-20-13 22            RE: woo hoo!! My pool team lost!! byoffer 01-20-13 23        RE: Oh crap. cahaya 01-21-13 24    RE: Ravens vs. Patriots. HobbsofMI 01-23-13 25

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Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 03:55 PM (EST) 1. "49ers vs. Falcons" Just to mention: CBS is counterprogramming this with bullriding. And anyone with inauguration coverage will be countering it with bull -- nevermind. Most people seem to be waiting for the Falcons to collapse. This may include the Falcons. It certainly seems to include at least a little of their fanbase, who are in that Cardinals position: good enough to dream, not confident enough to believe. Personally, I think whoever can decipher the most tattoos in sixty minutes wins. Seriously, have you taken a good look at this field? It's like an Ink Masters postmortem.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 04:12 PM (EST) 2. "Kickoff." $9ers win the toss with more honorary captains on the field than your typical superhero convention. They choose to defer. Colin gets a fifty-shade commemorative tattoo of the occasion. The radio announcers assure me this is a good refereeing crew. And not replacements. Because the league isn't going to risk doing that again until at least the Pro Bowl. Kickoff results in -- a touchback. Interesting special teams game they've got there. Falcons try to advance. A little run here, a 16-yard pass there... crossing midfield... really short running play... trying to do a little better on the next one -- -- and touchdown Falcons on a total fakeout play which the 49ers fell for. The stadium seems happy.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 04:21 PM (EST) 3. "RE: NFL Conference Championships complaining thread." The radio team mentions that Atlanta led the league in first-possession touchdowns. Now they tell us. Oh, and did you know this could be the biggest home win in Falcons history? Because it totally could be. I'm not sure, but I think this is the same announcing team which needed someone to prompt them on 'playoff overtime games cannot end in a tie.' Call it intuition. 49ers take a touchback as the ball lands way deep in the end zone. Fight in the crowd. Presumably someone wasn't making enough noise and had to be punished. Or someone had an out-of-town accent and had to be killed. 49ers go three-and-out. Spectacular punt (62 yards) and but a one-yard return. University Of Phoenix commercial. Did you ever wonder if Arizona has any major institutions they're not terminally embarrassed by?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 04:29 PM (EST) 4. "Injury time out" For a security guard. I mean I know they run into non-players from time to time, but first time I remember them having a time out for it.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 04:31 PM (EST) 5. "More 1st quarter stuff." Ahmad Brooks takes himself out of the game. Let us trust his judgment. Falcons marching again. First down, Atlanta. First down, Atlanta. Tony Gonzalez getting nicely involved. He seems very happy to be here. I'm not sure he knew what 'here' was going to be like. Imagine if he makes it to 'there'. Julio Jones coming out of the game after a hokey pokey catch: one foot in, one foot out, and the left shoulder rammed a security guard who was standing along the sideline. Julio is holding his shoulder. The guard has been clocked (from behind -- he was facing the crowd and never saw it coming), and time is stopped while the trainers look everyone over. The guard eventually gets up and receives a round of applause from the crowd. Julio back in, so everyone's okay. Third and ten. Long pass -- caught and ran to the 49er 21. Running play next -- lost two, with an interesting description: the radio team claims it was video-gamed. Cut back too hard, try to reverse, and remember too late you are personally subject to inertia. Next play takes it to the 17. Pass knocked down, and here comes the field goal team. 35-yard attempt is good. Falcons 10, 49ers 0. The bay area is starting to sweat.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 04:49 PM (EST) 6. "17-0" Julio Jones is an absolute monster and having an absolute monster of a game so far. 6 catches for 120 yards and two TDs - and some of the catches weren't exactly easy ones to make.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 04:49 PM (EST) 7. "Oopsie?" The 49ers have had the ball for so little time, they may have forgotten what to do with it: the first play of the drive gets a fumble at the end, and the Falcons fall on it -- no, wait: the refs are saying the runner was down by contact before the ball came out. It took a lot of courage to say that in front of this crowd. They've killed before, and for a lot less. I am reminded that Randy Moss is on the 49ers. The next ball is thrown in his direction and gets knocked down by the defense before it ever reaches him. May it always be so, except that it keeps him from being tackled. Oh, well: can't have everything. Colin can't have anything, at least for now -- he gets sacked, going down at the 15. His fantasy owners would be let down if he still had any. Another three-and-out, Falcons will start at their own 42. Falcons immediately cross midfield again. Less than a minute in the first quarter. Roddy White catches a pass and goes to the 21. Millions of viewers desperately try to find out who this 'Matt Ryan' kid is, since they've never heard of him before and anyone this good must be a rookie. First quarter ends, giving them time to disbelief their search engine's results. Second quarter begins. Apparently Julio Jones is feeling perfectly all right, because he has no trouble with catching the next pass. And it happens to heading for the end zone. Long hesitation before the refs call touchdown, and the refs take it to review. Were both feet down inbounds? Do you know how many NFL problems could be solved if receivers only had one foot? Review results in -- a fairly long delay -- a confirmed touchdown. Extra point is good, and the score moves to Falcons 17, 49ers 0. The bay area is now checking itself for fever.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 05:03 PM (EST) 8. "Can they just get ten yards?" 49ers start at their own 20 after another touchback. Running play for nine yards. Randy Moss leaves the ballgame. I guess he wasn't feeling properly motivated. Gore gets back to the line of scrimmage, but doesn't cross: three and inches. And -- first down! It can be done! And having been done once, it promptly goes from nearly impossible to easy and they do it again. Pause to look at an injured leg. Not mine. Cliff Matthews goes out of the game. People seem to be phasing a lot around here. 49ers realize the game is now simple and cross into Falcons territory. More movement -- still more movement -- pause for a penalty -- continued progress is discovered -- grandmothers climb Mount Fuji during lunch and wander back up when they realize they left their glasses at the summit -- touchdown. 17-7, Falcons. So now it's a game. What was it before?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Snidget 43862 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 05:08 PM (EST) 9. "RE: Can they just get ten yards?" scrimmage practice? a rout? some alternative universe where the falcons actually earned being in the playoffs?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 05:21 PM (EST) 10. "RE: NFL Conference Championships complaining thread." Falcons try to respond immediately, but the drive stalls out at their 40 as the 49ers also remember what their defense is supposed to do. We almost get a blocked punt, but the ball gets away and goes about forty yards. The radio team tries to figure out where the University Of Phoenix campuses are located. (Seriously.) 49ers start at their own 18. 6:24 left in the half. First pass takes them all the way to their own 45 -- not so fast. Was that a chokehold? Yes, it was: someone tried to strangle a Falcon. Half the distance to the goal, so now it's first-and-19 from their own 9. So remember, don't strangle someone unless the refs aren't looking. 49ers make it up and get to their 31. Cliff Matthews reenters the game after having his ankle taped. Big running play to the Falcons 45. Sudden suspicion that Colin was just trying to make the game interesting. And now a Falcon has thrown a punch. So there's 15 free yards. Which makes it all the easier to throw the pass down to the 5. Gosh, isn't this game simple? Let's have a commercial break while both teams are reminded that the idea is to do lifelong injury to each other within the bounds of the rules, and since we're getting more evidence every day on just how horrifying those results are, isn't that kind of pain good enough? Vernon Davis -- touchdown. Extra point is standard, and now it's 17-14 in just-barely-favor of the Falcons. The bay area convinces itself that the aspirin has done it a world of good.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 05:34 PM (EST) 11. "Closing out the first thirty." Less than two minute in the half. The Falcons are not freaking out. Yet. But they are moving, and cross into 49ers territory quickly -- then collect a 49er penalty as a bonus, getting them to the 44. Ronnie White and the 31. Now fifteen more yards. Thirty-seven seconds left. The 49ers call timeout. The Falcons say thank you and take the extra moments to plan out their next move. And improv was working so well! Then again, your older actors sometimes need a little rehearsal time. Touchdown, Tony Gonzalez. Falcons 24, 49ers 14. And more shoving around after the kickoff. Because it's not punching or strangling and that's all they were reminded about. 49ers at their own 16, nineteen seconds and two timeouts -- which they don't get to use, because the Falcons stuff the first play, the clock runs out, and the half is over. Coach Hoodie starts a second notebook.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 05:54 PM (EST) 12. "Second half begins." Someone gave Moss extra money during halftime, so he can pretend he's interested again and catches one to get a first down. Gore gets another and reaches Atlanta territory. Moss demands his name be changed to Sherman, thus proving he is not as intelligent as a dog. Tight end picks up 20 yards. We are reminded that Colin was chosen in the third round -- by the Chicago Cubs. Talk about your jinx attempts... First and ten from the 22. Moss catches another one, but they don't pay him enough to score touchdowns and he stops at the 5. Frank Gore is paid enough and doesn't care to renegotiate right now, so the goal line is all his. Falcons 24, 49ers 21. Little Five Points asks if it can borrow the aspirin.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 06:04 PM (EST) 13. "RE: NFL Conference Championships complaining thread." So I had trouble with my connection and by the time I got it resolved, Matt Ryan was throwing an interception. Apparently that difficulty was caused by the world resetting itself.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 06:20 PM (EST) 14. "The comedy portion of our program." The 49ers take the interception (noted as the first time they've started beyond their own 20) and move forward. Then a lot forward. (Thanks, Vernon!) Then a little bit backwards. Then absolutely nowhere and hold, which brings in the field goal unit -- and the kicker bounces one off the left upright. Because the Cubs were invoked, and ye gawds, that's worse than Snidget. The game-tying kick does not count, and the Atlanta crowd decides that aspirin is good stuff. Falcons move quickly, getting to their own 47. Seem to be stalling out, then make a 3rd-and-10 leap to the 49er 29. It's time to start thinking about potentially scoring. So naturally, it's time for Matt Ryan to think about potentially fumbling. Which he does. And the 49ers recover. Because someone mentioned the Cubs, sure, but before that happened, someone mentioned the Falcons. But since the Cubs are still on the board, the 49ers can't go anywhere -- except on a very dubious penalty, as incidental (and accidental) defensive contact with Colin's facemask (going for the pass) is called as Roughing The Passer, Here's Fifteen Yards, Discretion Is A Funny Word. And the third quarter ends. It's anyone's game. Would anyone like to claim it?   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 06:25 PM (EST) 15. "Fourth quarter kicks in." And rebounds off the left upright. Beyonce is going to be performing at the Super Bowl halftime show? When did she turn sixty? The radio announcers decide one of these teams is fifteen minutes away from the Super Bowl. And meeting Beyonce. For a given value of both 'fifteen minutes' and 'meet'. Hoodie files a grievance with the league concerning the need for a second team in the championship game. It gets filed with all the others. Crabtree to the fifteen. The defense was distracted by reading Colin's tattoos. I know I've been doing it for a couple of hours and I'm not even halfway up one arm. To the five -- Crabtree again -- trying to get across -- and fumbles! Just about every player on the field is currently in a single pile. Horrible things are happening in that pile, none of which will ever be penalized. Strangling is the least of it. This is either a 49er exhale or the Falcons catching a break roughly the size of their stadium. Falcons recover. The bay area inquires after the legalization of marijuana.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 06:36 PM (EST) 16. "Jinx vs. jinx." LAST EDITED ON 01-20-13 AT 06:40 PM (EST) By the way, I will not be doing this for the AFC game. It would be like writing a summary for Dance Moms: at some point, the desire to kill just about every adult involved takes over and then someone calls for -- let's just say it's not one of your better ideas, okay? Anyway, this turnover took place inside the 1, so the Falcons are trying to shoehorn their way out of what's golden safety territory for the other team. They just barely force their path to the 5 in two downs, leaving them with a 3rd-and-6. Tony Gonzales tries, but gets knocked out of bounds just short of the marker. Punt time. The 49ers would kill for a block and you don't have to ask who. It doesn't happen -- but they return the ball all the way to the Falcon 36. Commercials while the football gawds try to decide on what should go wrong. And for whom. 49ers have a golden opportunity here. Three plays get them to the 25. Run to the 16. Then to the 9. (Crabtree again. He needs redemption. Or some more time under the bottom of a pile.) The ghost of Joe Montana offers advice. Someone points out that Montana isn't dead. This distracts the defense enough to let Frank Gore walk into the end zone. He does the Dirty Bird dance. Karma is currently taking the evening off. 49ers 28, Falcons 24. Marijuana advocacy votes increase.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 06:51 PM (EST) 17. "Working the clock." The Falcons need to score here -- obviously -- megaduh -- but they'd like a nice long drive: the defense needs a rest and they don't want the 49ers to have any real response time. So bit by bit, pushing the edge of what they can do in three downs. Julio is a major part of this. (Maybe he's just that slow.) They get to their own 42 and bring the clock down to six minutes left. Run to the 45. Play clock keeps ticking down. Pass to the 49 of San Fran, not quite for a first down. Third down and 4:30 left. Pass -- and caught at the 30, just barely and very close to an interception, not to mention to the ground -- so the challenge flag is thrown as the 49ers pray the ball hit field before hands. Commercials while the referees consult with the rigging. The ruling of a fair catch -- -- stands. Jim Harbaugh, who may or may not be aware of Earl Weaver's recent passing, immediately begins to channel him. Headphones die. Leaps are made. Referees are cursed. And the Falcons move down to the 19 while everyone's watching the 49er coach. Now the 16. Two-minute warning. The two minutes duly consider themselves warned.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 07:03 PM (EST) 18. "The spinning coin." Two minutes. The Falcons have used the time they wanted, but they also don't have enough left to realistically score twice. Field goal + onside never works. 49ers are down a timeout after the challenge. Falcons to the 10. 1:33 left. 49ers knock the next pass down. Fourth down and four. They're going to pass... ...incomplete. 49ers take over on downs. Falcons start throwing every timeout they have at the refs, but that's all of two. Just over a minute left because the Falcons decided to take forever and left themselves with too thin a slice. There's no insurance policies in football... 49ers timeout. Who knows why. Delay of game, 49ers. When emerging from the timeout. Now that takes skill. They try to run, but Gore is caught behind the line of scrimmage, and quickly. Sixty seconds left. Now there's a chance for the Falcons to get the ball back, but they have to stop the 49ers, who are on 3rd and 15 -- and don't make it. But the Falcons can't stop the clock, so the 49ers will take as long as they can before making the punt. It's going to be just over a handful of seconds left -- in fact, there's thirteen and then the 49ers call timeout. So seconds consumed in setting up the punt, more in hang time... this may be runback and done. Caught and tackled (not a great idea, possibly) at the Falcons 41. Six seconds. One play, maybe two. They need the sideline or a Hail Mary. Matt Ryan -- throws the ball -- down the middle. Caughy by Franco at the 35. And guess what? It doesn't matter, because he's stopped there. The clock runs out. Which means...   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 07:05 PM (EST) 19. "NFC champion: San Francisco 49ers." Alex Smith is not available for comment.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Estee 55195 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 07:36 PM (EST) 20. "Ravens vs. Patriots." The old Hoodie dilemma: if his team loses, they did nothing right. And if they win, they did nothing right. I've occasionally wonder if any draft pick he chose ever retired on the spot.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 10:14 PM (EST) 21. "Oh crap." Unless the Pats get it into gear in a mighty big hurry, all we're going to be hearing for the next two weeks (and for the next decade) is the Harbaugh Bowl.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

byoffer 15808 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 10:53 PM (EST) 22. "woo hoo!! My pool team lost!!" My curse worked. I picked the Pats to win the Superbowl to ensure that they wouldn't. And now they won't even be in the game. All the rest of you "cheer for whoever is playing the Pats" fans? You're welcome!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

byoffer 15808 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-20-13, 10:54 PM (EST) 23. "RE: woo hoo!! My pool team lost!!" I just can't believe that Baltimore held NE to only 13 points through a whole game. Shocking.   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-21-13, 01:08 AM (EST) 24. "RE: Oh crap." Harbaugh humbug!   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

HobbsofMI 15959 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold" 01-23-13, 11:35 AM (EST) 25. "RE: Ravens vs. Patriots." Not having Gronk a problem for NE? sig Syren, bouncy by IceCat, bobble head by Tribephyl, and snoglobe by agman   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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