If you need a refresher of past episodes you can find the summaries here:Episode 1 written by Estee
Episode 2 also written by Estee
Episodes 3 & 4 written by suvivorscott
The episode begins with the final seven castaways in place to take the game to the next level. Now they will be competing in what amounts to reward and immunity challenges. But should not be confused with the big hit reality show over on SeeBS. I will summarize the show but will not make references to the 152 recarps and previews before and after every commercial.
Things start out with Mary Ann Randi in the shower and Professor Tiy-e is pedaling. Gilligan Arse is being himself…an arse! He is giving Randi a hard time and just harassing her. Arse is banking on the alliance of the orange team to make to the final four with Skipper Charlie being the first non-orange team member to go home. The alliance is Professor Tiy-e, Gilligan Arse, Mr. Howell Bounce and Mary Ann Randi.
Let me check my channel…yep still on TBS. WOW! For a moment there I thought I had switched on Sho watching Queer As Folk! Little did we know two of the castaways were smitten with each other. Professor Tiy-e and Gilligan Arse are frolicking in the water. The whole thing is done very soft pornish and looks a bit cheesy. I’m not opposed to some hot man-on-man action but could it have at least been with men I find attractive. Tiy-e ain’t bad but these two personalities are a downer (ifyouknowwhatimeanandithinkyoudo) for me.
The squawk box comes alive with Jiffy Jr.
ATTENTION CASTAWAYS! ATTENTION CASTAWAYS!
The castaways are told to head to the beach for a reward challenge. Tiy-e is urinated off because he wanted to vote off Skipper Charlie. WTF? I have no idea why this was edited in here but Tiy-e is bitching because he was ready to vote someone off. Tiy-e and Arse are getting very cocky (not in a good way anyways 
) and editing is telling me something screwy is just ahead!
Reward challenge: Message in a bottle
Literally! There are 250 bottles scattered on the beach and some floating in the ocean and the first person to find the ONE bottle with a message that has text on it will win a meal. WTF? A friggin message in a bottle…are you kidding me? I bet immunity challenge will be who can stay in a swing the longest without jumping! Pfft!
Everyone runs around grabbing bottles and uncorking them. It is at this very moment I want to scream “uncork you! URGH. As the children continue with this baby game we see that Skipper Charlie and Professor Tiy-e don’t want to appear strong. Tiy-e really thinks he is one of the strongest…he is a shoe-in to win the next challenge if it is an anchor challenge. You know the kind, Jiffy Jr. takes them out into the ocean, ties them up and throws them overboard. The one to sink to the bottom of the ocean first wins!
As the challenge continues Lovey Melissa is shown picking up bottles as the wind blows her skirt up revealing her purple panties. MY EYES! MY EYES! That is almost as bad as seeing Richard (from that other show on SeeBS) running around naked. After uncorking 486,321 bottles Lovey Melissa finds the precious message. Jiffy Jr. tells her eating alone is no fun and that she can pick one person to share the meal with her. Lovey Melissa picks Gilligan Arse because she thinks he needs it more than anyone else. *rolls eyes*
The two go to their meal to find pizza and soda. The entire meal is edited to make us think all the chatting was about Arse having diabetes. In a confessional, Arse says that he thinks Melissa picked him because she wanted to get hibbity hibbity after eating. I hope Arse saved himself for Tiy-e as he wants to make him (Arse) his bitch.
Back at the hut, as Skipper and Arse are getting ready to hit the hay, they are both being very smug with each other. Skipper tells Arse that Arse better give 100% at the challenges so he (Arse) can win. Arse tells Skpper to enjoy his last night on the island. Well, I guess we know Skipper is safe tomorrow…typical reality TV editing!
Millionaire Bounce, Gilligan Arse and Skipper Charlie are strategizing when Charlie says that he will have to give 110% at the immunity challenge. Mr. Bounce interrupts to inform the mathematically challenged that it is 100% because that is all he can give. They go back and forth BRAK BRAK BRAK. Who really cares? Let’s get on with the show.
Movie Star Erika and Mary Ann Randi are strategizing as well. Erika wants to get rid of Mr. Bounce but Randi is a little confused by the whole conversation. Erika is trying to explain it in idiotic terms so Randi can understand. Randi has a blank look on her face as if she has no clue. At least Erika understands the game and is trying to take over the game. I guess this lady with tig ole bitties has a brain as well.
Gilligan Arse continues being an arse as he is giving Skipper Charlie hell! Arse tells Skipper if the immunity challenge is physical there is no chance of Charlie winning. I think Arse is about to let his mouth overload his ass. He just keeps going…
ATTENTION CASTAWAYS! ATTENTION CASTAWAYS!
Jiffy Jr. has summoned everyone to the lagoon immediately for the immunity challenge.
The castaways make it to the lagoon where Jiffy Jr. explains the obstacle course challenge and the immunity idol (life preserver) holder can not be voted out at Voodoo Village that night. The easy challenge for the castaways is to jump in the lagoon, swim to a raft, row the raft around floating coconuts and climb a cargo net. The first one to the top wins. Jiffy Jr. goes on to explain that Tiy-e has two choices of wearing a life vest (he almost drowned at his last visit to the lagoon) or sitting out the challenge. As predicted, the little wuss Ostens! He isn’t even going to attempt the challenge. I still say they need an anchor challenge.
Castaways and their times:
Professor Tiy-e: 8 days 9 hours 34 minutes and 5 seconds
Gilligan Arse: 1 minute 16 seconds
Mary Ann Randi Ass Cheeks: 1 minute 14 seconds
Skipper Charlie: 1 minute 2 seconds
Millionaire Bounce: 1 minute 17 seconds
Movie Star Erika: 1 minute 30 seconds
Millionaire Melissa: 1 minute 5 seconds
Skipper Charlie wins even though Gilligan Arse gave him no chance! I guess Arse will have to eat a little crow and I have heard crow isn’t too bad with Bar B Q sauce. Also, Randi should have been blurred during her run because her ass cheeks were hanging out big time! Just some info for those that care…I don’t!
Everyone goes off to Voodoo Village to vote someone out. Each person has a little voodoo doll (looks like it was made at Vacation Bible School) of his or her likeness. The person voting will place the doll of the one they are voting for in a big box.
Skipper votes for Millionaire Bounce
Arse votes for Millionaire Melissa
Professor votes for Millionaire Melissa
Lovey votes for Millionaire Bounce
Millionaire Bounce votes for Millionaire Melissa
Movie Star votes for Millionaire Bounce
We were not shown Mary Ann’s vote
Jiffy Jr. to tally the votes:
1st vote: Melissa
2nd vote: Melissa
3rd vote: Mr. Bounce
4th vote: Mr. Bounce
5th vote: Melissa
6th vote: Mr. Bounce
7th vote: Mr. Bounce
Mr. Bounce gets bounced! Gilligan Arse and Professor Tiy-e have a stunned look on their faces. You know the look…the look a guy has on his face when Bubba is standing in the shower beside him; Bubba drops the soap and says, “Bend over!”
Gilligan Arse hasn’t watched many reality shows as he goes off the deep end at Randi for lying. Randi tells him that she is playing a game and needs the money. Arse tells her she won’t win and will have to return to the water park making $3 an hour. They continue to bicker as Arse refers to Randi as making $5 and then $8 an hour. He can’t seem to make-up his mind on how much money she really makes.
Gilligan Arse realizes that he urinated off everyone and he needs to do something. He goes to the Skipper but Charlie tells Arse that, “he has a dollar with no quarters!” I have never heard this one but Charlie tells Arse to be nice to the girls and it works! Arse decides he will pedal for the ladies to take a shower. Arse needs a quick lesson in how to play the game.
Mary Ann Randi suddenly gains a lot of confidence because she thinks she is in a tight alliance with Erika and Melissa. I am wondering if this is misdirection. During Randi’s chat with Melissa she (Randi) feels stupid when she tries to talk with the guys. Where in the hell does this “feels” come from? Feels? Randi honey you ARE stupid!
Arse decides his bladder needs to be emptied IN their hut! Charlie asks him why. Arse says he is just lazy and didn’t want to walk down the path. Skipper continues to harp on him. Arse says he was just going to stick his johnson through the hut wall and pee. How was he going to get his whole body through a tiny crack in the wall? Charlie pushes even more and Arse says that not one drop came out of his hole! TMI! TMI!
ATTENTION CASTAWAYS! ATTENTION CASTAWAYS!
The have to go to the beach for a reward challenge. Will this be the anchor challenge? No, it is a build a totem pole challenge. There are 4 strategically placed blocks that will be put together to form a totem pole. There is a block in the water, one buried, one on a pole and the last one is wrapped in a net. They will compete in 2 teams of 3 and will be tied together like in a sack race. They get to pick their teams and after some discussion we have:
Team Dumb: Arse, Charlie and Erika
Team Dumber: Randi, Tiy-e and Melissa
They will be playing for $3,000 in cash as Randi comes out with a WOW! That is almost a thousand dollars each. Yeah Randi…ALMOST! 
Team Dumb developes a strategy of doing the most difficult thing first. They get the block off the pole first and begin digging for their second. Team Dumber goes out to retrieve their first one from the water and then go to get the one out of the net. Team Dumber is up 2-1. Team Dumb has all 4 blocks but Team Dumber is quickly getting all their blocks. It is close with both teams building their totem poles but Team Dumb comes through and wins. Charlie, Arse and Erika win $3,000.
Melissa decides to go spear fishing and Charlie goes along. Melissa spears a minnow and thinks she has a whale. She is all excited as she brings it back to camp and cooks it. There is no way she had more than 2 bites!
Ok folks, I know some were discussing how this episode ends and why voting went down the way it did. This little segment here was very telling after seeing it again. Erika goes to Tiy-e and Arse and they analyze the situation. Erika tells the boys that Melissa isn’t a challenge threat but she is trying to manipulate the game. Erika basically tells them she wants Melissa gone! As those that watched know how it ends and Erika was the deciding factor on the final vote. If these idiots don’t wake-up the movie star will win!
Later that night Randi walks by Skipper/Gilligan’s hut and screams that she smells piss! Gilligan shouts that he is sorry! YIKES! This guy is lazy and I would hate to see where he lives. I wonder if he pees on his carpet? EWWW!
Tiy-e and Arse are discussing what they need to do so one of them doesn’t go home next. Arse says he is going to Erika and will tell her that they will vote with her on anyone she wants! I told you Erika is working it hard.
The love affair between Tiy-e and Arse continues as Tiy-e is complaining that Arse doesn’t have nipples and that he (Tiy-e) won’t have anything to tweak while they are making out. Something tells me our little sex teacher is a virgin!
ATTENTION CASTAWAYS! ATTENTION CASTAWAYS!
The castaways are summoned back to the beach and could this be our anchor challenge? Nope, the immunity challenge requires each castaway to haul coconuts in a wheelbarrow to a mote. Coconuts will be placed in a basket. When the basket has enough coconuts in them to support the weight of said castaway, the castaway will swing by rope over the mote and knock down a tiki (there is a tiki representing each castaway). The last tiki standing will represent the winner of the immunity.
Castaways and results:
Arse is the first over the mote and takes out Melissa
Melissa is second and takes out Tiy-e
Charlie takes out Arse
Erika takes out Randi
Tiy-e takes out Charlie
Erika wins immunity!
There is all types of positioning and Melissa is taking a lead in all the small whispering sessions. Melissa has decided to take out Tiy-e because she thinks she can get Arse on her side.
More homo erotic behavior as Tiy-e is shaving Arse’s back. This is just too gay as Tiy-e finishes, he pats Arse on the ass and tells him he looks good! Being a gay man, I can understand what just took place but there is no way my straight friends would ever shave another man’s back. I just can’t figure out which one pitches and which one catches?
At Voodoo Village:
Erika votes first but the vote isn’t shown
Charlie votes Tiy-e
Arse votes Melissa
Tiy-e votes Melissa
Melissa votes Tiy-e
Randi votes but the vote isn’t shown
Jiffy Jr. to tally the votes!
1st vote: Melissa
2nd vote: Tiy-e
3rd vote: Melissa
4th vote: Melissa
5th vote: Tiy-e
6th vote: Melissa
So, Randi and Erika decided to go with Tiy-e and Arse. I wonder why they didn’t bring Charlie in on it?
Next week is the finale as the remaining five are narrowed down to three for the final challenge. Tune in to find out who gets rescued!
OH.THE.DRAMA!
Handcrafted by RollDdice
Email this topic to a friend
Printer-friendly version of this topic
Bookmark this topic (Registered users only)
