Okay, someone refresh my memory. Why exactly am I bothering to start this? Oh, right. Because I'm the only one delusional to think that someone might sign up for it. And I mean 'one person'. Who would probably get the whole season, or at least as long as they could keep going before losing their mind and storming the Tower with nothing more than a keyboard and several dozen new psychotic complexes. And y'know what? That one person isn't going to be me. Because I just don't have the right kind of keyboard. The edge has worn off.

Anyway... if for some strange, incomprehensible reason, you feel the need to take on this strange Apprentice/Survivor/My Big, Fat, Obnoxious California Project Manager hybrid, please indicate your future confinement in a state-run mental health facility for the good of those around you by placing your name on this thread. No previous summary-writing experience is required. Couldn't hurt. Might help. But maybe what we need here is the person who's never held a sword and doesn't know you're not supposed to throw it into the opponent's mouth...

We have eighteen candidates and no current idea of the episode count -- but at this point, we can pretty much count on a double/triple/quad firing, so let's base the initial list on thirteen and hope for an earlier cancelation. Tomorrow would be good.

So. Who wants to suffer excruciating amounts of frame-by-frame pain?

Don't everyone volunteer at once.

I've done my time. Now I'm going to try running the prison.