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"Is the show last night proof that the prodcuers of Wife Swap getting too "mean"?"
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soloms 6 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"

02-10-05, 02:49 PM (EST)
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"Is the show last night proof that the prodcuers of Wife Swap getting too "mean"?"
LAST EDITED ON 02-10-05 AT 03:26 PM (EST)

Like many of you, I have never posted before but had to find out what people were saying about the Evil One on last night's Wife Swap. But I have a larger question: does it seem to anyone that the producers are putting people in situations that not only challenge their comfort levels -- and that's what makes good TV on this program -- but also inspire really high levels of anger and hatred?

For example, wasn't it clear to the producers that the self-proclaimed "conservative Christian" and Republican Texas mom was a rigid hater who would loathe lesbians? That she would hold the lesbian "wife" in contempt? That to me is just plain mean-spirited on the producer's parts.

I know that conflict makes good drama makes good television, and that all these people signed up to do the program, but the participants are not signing up to invite hatred into their homes or to challenges that are better addressed in therapy.

What about the mom who cleaned five hours a day? It's clear she had some kind of OCD problem and putting her in an uncontrolled environment would make her crazy. But to me, that's likes putting someone with a handwashing fixation into a house with no sink for two weeks and then watching them freak out. It's not interesting anymore, it's just cruel. She didn't have the internal know-how to cope with it ... she was unreflective and sheltered, and I'm sure that was clear to the producers.

As for the Texas mom, what was most scary about her was her TOTAL LACK OF EMPATHY toward the other family in general and specifically at the end, when she spewed pure hatred at Kris, who was sobbing. There was not one iota of compassion evident. I can understand why her husband, who tried to be a good sport and get in the spirit of the process, seemed emotionally frozen. Did anyone catch at the end as they walked away, that she had to reach out to grasp his hand, which he half-heartedly gave her? A small effort at resistance on his part.

I wonder what the Texas Kris expected to gain from the experience. Obviously it wasn't to learn anything. Perhaps she thought it would help her win elected office, or that her mission is to preach "excellence."

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 Kris says she regrets it soloms 02-10-05 1
 RE: Is the show last night proof th... Islandhopping2 02-10-05 2
 RE: Is the show last night proof th... maga 02-10-05 3
   RE: Is the show last night proof th... volsfan 02-10-05 4
 RE: Is the show last night proof th... annielynne42 02-11-05 5
 further thoughts soloms 02-11-05 6
   RE: further thoughts annielynne42 02-11-05 7
       RE: further thoughts realtyamazed 02-13-05 8
       RE: further thoughts volsfan 02-13-05 9
           RE: further thoughts annielynne42 02-14-05 11
           RE: further thoughts syren 02-16-05 15
 RE: Is the show last night proof th... Twofeathrz 02-14-05 10
   RE: Is the show last night proof th... volsfan 02-14-05 12
   Welcome and a request Bebo 02-14-05 13
   RE: Is the show last night proof th... keyse 02-14-05 14
 yes, pretty mean carla199 02-16-05 16
   RE: yes, pretty mean volsfan 02-16-05 17

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soloms 6 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"

02-10-05, 03:33 PM (EST)
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1. "Kris says she regrets it"
In an interview posted on ABC's site today, Kris says she regretted doing the show and would not to it again. I hope this give's the producers pause.

Also, do the participants know anything about what they're walking into? They imply that no one knows anything beofre they walk through the door, but I wonder.

In the interview, Kris concludes, "Now I do believe that some people are truly cruel, and unfortunately, I will never forget. Kris Gillespie reminds me of this quote, "Beauty is only skin deep but ugly is to the bone." "


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Islandhopping2 1 desperate attention whore postings
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02-10-05, 04:05 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Is the show last night proof that the prodcuers of Wife Swap getting too "mean"?"
I noticed that slight hand pulling too!!
That Woman was very mean spirited while away from her husband. You would have thought she was going to be nicer coming from a bi-racial marriage.
I also read the articles from ABC's site. Notice how "robotic" & "controling" at times. Kris' answers were?
I will say that BOTH women had good points. It was just ashame that Kris wasn't open minded enough to listen at that point and time.
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maga 1 desperate attention whore postings
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02-10-05, 07:17 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Is the show last night proof that the prodcuers of Wife Swap getting too "mean"?"
You've taken the words right out of my mouth. I never go into chat rooms, post on message boards, etc. I am not a lesbian and have no opinion as to the sexual orientation of others other than it is none of my business. After last night, I too needed to see what was being said about Texas Kris. All day, I kept thinking that as I watched the show last night, I felt I was "looking into the face of evil." I saw not one hint that this woman had any concept of Christianity. She even conducted the family Bible study with harshness. It takes extreme emotional abuse to be able to control four people as she controls her husband and children and to have them fear you as they feared her. She is a frightening person.
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volsfan 19846 desperate attention whore postings
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02-10-05, 07:50 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Is the show last night proof that the prodcuers of Wife Swap getting too "mean"?"
I think the concept of the show is great! If the show were handled correctly, I think this could be a truly great learning experience. Now, it prolly wouldn't make for as good TV.

I think the couples need to go into the show for learning how others live. That is the point...not going somewhere else and MAKE the other family live like they don't.

I would love to have a straight guy switch lives with me and see how I live. The way I live isn't any different than the straight guy. I go to basketball, football and baseball games. I watch Sportscenter. The only difference, I sleep with men.

Have the producers gone to far? I don't think so.

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annielynne42 53 desperate attention whore postings
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02-11-05, 11:46 AM (EST)
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5. "RE: Is the show last night proof that the prodcuers of Wife Swap getting too "mean"?"
I am apalled! I could not believe my eyes or ears! I, just, watched Wife Swap. I had it recorded. Yes, the producers did go,too, far. And yet, it's interesting to know, that a woman whose race has overcome many atrocities <& still, is trying to overcome> could be so atrocious herself. You would think she, of all people, would be kind & compassionate, when it comes to other people being ostracized. She's a disgrace to her race. I know there are a lot of people out there who are ,so, cruel, but to come on national TV & act like she did is beyond me. Does she know how she looked to all who were watching. How would she like it, if her children were attacked like these ladies & their child were attacked by her? They may well be someday. Although I no longer attend church, I consider myself a Christian & my parents raised me better then that. I could never think of spewing such evil out of my mouth towards anyone, no matter who they are. I'm sure God was looking down on her with much sadness.
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soloms 6 desperate attention whore postings
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02-11-05, 03:06 PM (EST)
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6. "further thoughts"
Like someone stated on the other thread, I find myself still thinking about the most recent "Wife Swap," two days later.

I've also considered some thoughts for the producers:

* Those shows that are the most satisfying are those with participants who are in some ways open to change, want change, or want to learn more about themselves or others, even in small doses. For example, Kris the conservative Christian mom clearly thinks she has all the answers, so there was no possibility for growth there. The mom who cleaned five hours a day wanted only that her family appreciate her more; she really had little to offer the other family besides cleaning up the place -- which was needed -- and turning on the TV for the kids. The coupon-clipping mom is quite neurotic and will only change, or consider change, with some kind of therapy.

Placing rigid, really neurotic people into others' homes and watching them melt down just is not satisfying. As someone stated elsewhere on this page, viewers want some kind of "epiphany." Two of the best shows were early ones where the rich woman exchanged with the wood-chopping bus driver and the spoiled mom switched with the farm mom. These women were obviously quite different, but they weren't inflexible, and that made the shows compelling, because there was movement and "air" in there, space for people to shift, at least some.

* I would suggest asking the moms at the end what they learned about themselves in the process of the swap. We as viewers have our own opinions about what they need to learn, and to see if they share our views would be interesting. It would also reveal the thoughts of the moms more. Were there any epiphanies that didn't play out for the cameras? It would be interesting to know.

As for Kris Gillespie, I find her treatment of the lesbians as less than human returning to my thoughts ... her comment that the lesbian mom "brought nothing to my table" and asking the kids on her return if "that woman" was weird reflect a true hatred (and obviously a seriously un-Christian attitude -- doesn't God live within us all?) Because she thought of the lesbians as sub-human, she felt she could say whatever she wanted and was freed from treating them respectfully (as least at the end. Who knows what got edited out that showed Nikki and Texas Kris getting along fine.) The obvious irony is that demonizing those that are different than you allows you to transgress the bounds of respectful and fully human behavior ... as Jews, blacks, and countless others have experienced.

Not to drag politics into this, but as Kris G. has run for local office it seems like it's fair ... was her behavior an example of "compassionate conservatism"?

Also, an interview that Nikki gave states that Kris. G. stayed only 10 days (not two weeks as the show implies). Is this true for all the swappers? Or did Kris's paranoiac fear of her children being infected by the lesbian mom shorten the stay?

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annielynne42 53 desperate attention whore postings
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02-11-05, 11:09 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: further thoughts"
This show should not have aired, . These shows are taped, so, ABC had a reason for showing it, even though it was using bad judgement. Nobody should be dehumanized as these 2 ladies were by Kris G. on national TV or anywhere else.
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realtyamazed 189 desperate attention whore postings
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02-13-05, 09:18 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: further thoughts"
I was truly disgusted by the show.
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volsfan 19846 desperate attention whore postings
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02-13-05, 10:19 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: further thoughts"
annie, groups of people have been singled out and dehumanized since the beginning of time. I am so glad this show aired, it gets people talking. Look at the discussion thread! It is the longest thread we have had on any of these shows.

Idiots like Kris should be shown for what they are and she is the one that looked like an idiot.

Talk about things like this educates. That is what everyone needs...EDUCATION!

I say keep it coming. Show more diversity and let's discuss!

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annielynne42 53 desperate attention whore postings
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02-14-05, 09:38 AM (EST)
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11. "RE: further thoughts"
Volsfan, I'll have to agree with you. More & likely, this was a reason for ABC to air this episode.
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syren 5418 desperate attention whore postings
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02-16-05, 07:38 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: further thoughts"
Once again vols, I agree with you. Excellent point.
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Twofeathrz 2 desperate attention whore postings
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02-14-05, 08:02 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: Is the show last night proof that the prodcuers of Wife Swap getting too "mean"?"
The public thrives on real people lives. The good, bad and ugly.
Seems the more dysfunctional they are the more worthy they are of good veiwing! I feel networks almost intentionally select highly dysfunctional people so they get higher ratings. It is sad but true.

I rarely watch Wife Swap, but the previews intrigued me to watch.

My hair was absolutely on fire watching this black, hypocrytical, reilgious, gay bashing, inter-racial marriage woman shake a finger at these women and accuse them of being predators! She is no more christian than I am.

Hey Kris, my ex husband and I went to his church for counseling before getting married. The Preacher (Baptist) claimed my husband was more religious than I because my husband could answer religious questions, where as I cxouldn't answer all his questions and in the long run, I perferred my views to be private. Guess where my ex is now? My baptist ex husband is in Huntsville for molesting our daughter! Hey! How does that work for you?

Are you aware that AIDS is on the rise in the black population? Sounds like promiscurity at it's finest to me.

Why don't YOU try pretending not being a black woman who is married to a white guy, pretending to be excellent, religious while wearing rocks and controlling everyone in the house? I am appalled by your behavior and hope that your children don't grow up to be as rigid as you. You know how you pretended to enjoy the microwave dinner the lover made for you? Maybe your children do the same thing as you methodically hold Bible study with them. Do they really understand the true value of religion/sprituality and the application of it in everyday life? Do they feel love in their hearts for their god and their fellow man? I fear they won't having you as a role model.

I hope the two Lesbians grew stronger and appreciate each other more as a result of your damaging visit and damaging words.

The thought of you running for public office frightnes me.

By the way....I am LESBIAN and I KNOW GOD LOVES ME.

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volsfan 19846 desperate attention whore postings
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02-14-05, 12:50 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: Is the show last night proof that the prodcuers of Wife Swap getting too "mean"?"
My baptist ex husband is in Huntsville for molesting our daughter!

That's one hell of a punishment!

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Bebo 20880 desperate attention whore postings
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02-14-05, 02:17 PM (EST)
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13. "Welcome and a request"
Welcome to the forums, and thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

However, please take a moment to familiarize yourself with our community guidelines. We ask our posters to not copy and paste the same message to multiple threads. Thanks.

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keyse 22 desperate attention whore postings
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02-14-05, 09:17 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Is the show last night proof that the prodcuers of Wife Swap getting too "mean"?"
Kris made Osama-Rosa from the "Apprentice" look like a nice person. I think someone forgot to tell her she is black, or else she thought no one would notice. If she isn't black, they aren't interracial and in need of the exact same tolerance, she denies to the lesbians. The "rocks" on her fingers that she flashes in everyones faces are about 1/2 the size as the ones in her pants.
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carla199 4 desperate attention whore postings
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02-16-05, 08:53 PM (EST)
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16. "yes, pretty mean"
I think the idea was pretty mean, if they knew ahead the religious woman was so very opposed to gays. Wonder if they ever set up something and the participants walk out on day 1 (due to strongly held principles) and they have to scratch the episode attempt?

But in past shows, remember interviews from the participants said the editing was very selective? The producers want to make a point and they manipulate the footage and cut snippets and show stuff out of order to make someone look worse and less tolerant than they really are.

In an early show a pudgy kid was shown as a disagreeable brat but in a post show interview, the visiting mother said he was likable and she had a good time getting to know him. And in the husband swap, the one guy quietly mentioned a basement room had an odor. But the Wife Swap show egged him on and made him repeat it over and over til it came out as a rude shout, which is the take they kept.

So maybe there's some selective editing in this episode? Carla

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volsfan 19846 desperate attention whore postings
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02-16-05, 09:12 PM (EST)
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17. "RE: yes, pretty mean"
The problem with the way these shows play out is that you have one and sometimes both mothers won't even try and live the way the other family does. That is the key to this show. It should be a learning process. However, these ladies are not doing it.

I think a good way of learning how others live is to live in their shoes. So, why are the producers mean by putting people together that are so different? The show would be boring if the women swapped with someone just like themselves. JMHO!

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