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"Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
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nanapoole 2 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "American Cancer Society Spokesperson"

04-19-06, 10:17 PM (EST)
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"Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
After Niambi found out another black 'sister' was coming into the house, she says to Kim something like, "I was going crazy with all you white girls!" If a white gal had said that about a house with all black housemates she would have been labeled a racist. I think that Niambi is racist in reserve!
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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... Sues 04-19-06 1
   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... VelvetElegance 04-19-06 2
       RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... EMTBGRL 04-19-06 3
           RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... sharnina 04-20-06 9
               RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... ChristinaJB 04-20-06 10
           RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... Phredster 04-20-06 18
               RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... sharnina 04-20-06 20
               RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... EMTBGRL 04-22-06 54
                   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... beckettrep 04-22-06 55
       RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... zipitgood 04-20-06 25
 RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... ChristinaJB 04-19-06 4
   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... MizJazmine 04-21-06 40
 RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... greeleyxcore 04-19-06 5
 RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... JustBNMe 04-19-06 6
   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... malibu 04-20-06 22
   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... SunKissedNikki 04-21-06 47
 RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... flower2 04-19-06 7
   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... BetterVersionOfMe 04-20-06 8
       RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... sharnina 04-20-06 12
 RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... beckettrep 04-20-06 11
   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... standinmytruth 04-20-06 14
       RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... sharnina 04-20-06 15
           RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... standinmytruth 04-20-06 16
               RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... sharnina 04-20-06 17
   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... SueNahMe 04-20-06 24
 RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... Cleverone 04-20-06 13
   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... Juliejo 04-20-06 19
 RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... creepyoldwoman 04-20-06 21
   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... NicNac 04-20-06 23
       RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... redheaded1 04-20-06 26
           RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... loretta54 04-20-06 27
               RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... Cinnamongirl30 04-20-06 29
           RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... nanapoole 04-20-06 28
   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... roadrunner06 04-20-06 37
 RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... GoodnightLittleBear 04-20-06 30
   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... punkin123 04-20-06 32
   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... kalalala 04-20-06 34
 RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... AshLanie 04-20-06 31
 RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... sillybear 04-20-06 33
   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... nikkidemus 04-20-06 35
       RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... Woo 04-21-06 42
           RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... nikkidemus 04-21-06 45
   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... alaholly 04-20-06 36
       RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... redheaded1 04-20-06 38
           RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... justashell 04-20-06 39
               RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... SeasonedRefinement 04-21-06 41
                   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... Woo 04-21-06 43
                   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... Cleverone 04-21-06 44
                       RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... VelvetElegance 04-21-06 46
                           RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... sharnina 04-21-06 48
                           RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... Chan 04-21-06 49
                               RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... VelvetElegance 04-21-06 50
                                   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... BeeBe 04-22-06 51
                                   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... 26mitogo 04-22-06 52
                                   RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... AshLanie 04-22-06 53
                                       RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... sm2 04-22-06 57
 RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... alyse73 04-22-06 56
 RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi sa... sharnina 04-22-06 58
 Locking mysticwolf 04-22-06 59

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Sues 585 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"

04-19-06, 10:30 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I missed that comment...
But in her defense, I kinda get it. I can imagine being the only Africa American would be a bit daunting. After all, you're there to get 'vulnerable' so to have no one to relate to might be a little scary....
And yes, I do think it should not be about color, but I'm also a realist and we're just not there yet....
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VelvetElegance 72 desperate attention whore postings
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04-19-06, 10:38 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I saw it and as a blk woman, I understand COMPLETELY what she meant. It wasn't meant to say she didn't like the other women, but let's face it, SO doesn't exactly have a habit of having more than one blk face in the house at a time..not counting the LC. Niambi was looking over to Antonia and knew that they would understand each other in a way that the other women wouldn't just because they are both minorities. Moreover, if Niambi really was racist, tho I think the word you really mean is bigoted, I doub highly that she would be announcing it on camera for the whole world to see.
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EMTBGRL 2513 desperate attention whore postings
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04-19-06, 11:11 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
VelvetElegance, People don't always know what they are saying is considered racist for it to be so. Bigotry means that someone is aware that they are making xenophobic or hatred statements with pride. Bigotry is a lot clearer than racism.

For example, I think we can agree that people who say things like, "All immigrants should learn to speak English if they are going to live in America" are making racist statements, but are horrified if this is pointed out to them. The racism is unintentional. The people who are NOT horrified by this revelation are the "bigots"

Even though there were cameras, I would give Niambi the benefit of the doubt and say this was a racist and not a bigoted comment.
I missed Niambi's comment today. However, it would be a racist statement to make. At the very least, it would be an ignorant statement to make to complete strangers that you just met. There's no telling how anyone else would receive that statement, either. I know plenty of African-Americans that resent being 'picked out' as the 'other person who looks and acts like me.' That could be true here, too, and we would have no way to know.

My daughter and I lived communally with Africans (not African-Americans, Africans) for my daughter's formative years (childhood, upbringing). She and I identify more with them and their cultures, and we call them our "family" (and mean this literally) and I am referred to as their children's "Auntie." I am afforded the same respect as their biological families. There were eight adults and 17 children in our house. We only moved out (a family decision) after several job offers were made in other places. Moving out was very sad. These people are still my family.

But, by outward appearances, and ancestry, my daughter and I are Caucasian. I'm not sure how old my daughter was when she figured out she was not black!

I bet Niambi would not guess that I speak Swahili or that my extended family are from Kenya, Ghana, and Zimbabwe by looking at me, or my daughter!

"Color" does not "solidarity" nor understanding make. It is also not always accurate. Do I understand that it is different for me out in the world? Sure. Do I believe that Niambi should have reserved such a comment until after getting to know the others better? Also, sure. Can we agree on that?

I think someone who doesn't understand the implications of their words would announce anything in front of cameras. AFter all, that makes good Reality TV, eh?


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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

04-20-06, 00:10 AM (EST)
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9. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
big·ot
Pronunciation: 'bi-g&t
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle French, hypocrite, bigot
: a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices

rac·ism
Pronunciation: 'rA-"si-z&m also -"shi-
Function: noun
1 : a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race.


I posted these definitions because I don't think ignorance equals racism. Ignorance is due to lack of information. Racism is a belief that one group of people possessing certain traits is superior to another group of people possessing many of the same but also different traits. JMHO based on the definitions and my experience growing up in a small town in the south not too long after segregation took place in the late 60's.


Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

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ChristinaJB 158 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 00:14 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
Great post.
I think we can get confused with these words because they have such an impact and carry such meaning.

Thanks for posting this.

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Phredster 85 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 04:04 AM (EST)
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18. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"

>For example, I think we can
>agree that people who say
>things like, "All immigrants should
>learn to speak English if
>they are going to live
>in America" are making racist
>statements, but are horrified if
>this is pointed out to
>them.

Ummm...this is not racist, this is reality. There are roughly 300 countries in the world, and the US is the _only_ one where people assume that they should be able to speak their native language and still be able to get by. I lived overseas for 7 years and I survived by learning the language and culture of the country in which I was living. I did not feel discriminated against...I felt lucky to be welcomed as a guest in that country. If people want to live in this country then yes they should learn the language and culture of this country. This is not racist...this is how the world works.

I did not think Niambi's comment was racist at all - I thought it was made in fun and for perhaps the first time since she arrived in the house Niambi seemed to be at ease.

And let's not forget that we are in the third season of SO now, and have been through all of the debates/arguments/discussions of how the house portrays women "of color" (for want of a better term). I'm not at all surprised that Niambi was glad to see another black woman in the house, given how rarely it has been that there was one black woman in the house at any given time, much less two.

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 11:43 AM (EST)
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20. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
Oh, thank you Phredster! I didn't want to touch that with a ten foot pole.

I agree with you. I don't think there is anything wrong with expecting someone to learn the official language of a country if they are planning to live and work here. That's not racsist, just common sense (in my mind, anyway).

I hear where you are coming from EMTBGRL. I also believe that this can be a grey area used by bigots to further an agenda.


Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

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EMTBGRL 2513 desperate attention whore postings
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04-22-06, 06:23 PM (EST)
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54. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
Was off-line for a few days. Motorcyclist hit by drunk driver, didn't make it--I was kinda bummed out. That's what happens when you ARE 911---happens. Sucks. Whatcha gonna do? Go for a walk. Go back to work. Love everyone the best you can...

Hey Phredster! "Ummm...this is not racist, this is
>reality."

OK. It might be reality. It's also racist. And, ignorance can also mean someone didn't know better than to say it, it doesn't have to have an 'evil' or 'bad' intention. (Sometimes that's why it's fun to watch reality TV, you just never KNOW what someone's gonna say!!)--But, in terms of "learning English?" Sometimes someone just got here. We don't know. What we do know that is English is difficult to learn. Some people are better at learning English than others. To abuse people because they have a hard time learning English is unfair. That happens a lot more than it should, too. There are also neighborhoods designed in ways to accomodate other cultures, and there is no need to learn English. I am not saying this is a 'good' or 'bad' thing, but it's true. --This is coming from someone whose grandparents/ parents first language was Norwegian. Try living in the USA, without learning English, and speaking Norwegian! Almost all of us came from a place that spoke another language at one point. And, now, look at us WRITE! (that's meant to be funny)

---I do think diversity is a good thing, and so is education. I respect your opinion, though.

The SOH does need a good dose of both this season! It's nice to possibly see the beginning of both--maybe with some new HG's?

Looking for your posts. pax!

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beckettrep 814 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

04-22-06, 06:46 PM (EST)
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55. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
>Was off-line for a few days.
>Motorcyclist hit by drunk driver,
>didn't make it--I was kinda
>bummed out. That's what
>happens when you ARE 911---happens.
>Sucks. Whatcha gonna do? Go
>for a walk. Go back
>to work. Love everyone the
>best you can...
>
>Hey Phredster! "Ummm...this is not racist,
>this is
>>reality."
>
>OK. It might be reality. It's
>also racist. And, ignorance can
>also mean someone didn't know
>better than to say it,
>it doesn't have to have
>an 'evil' or 'bad' intention.
>(Sometimes that's why it's fun
>to watch reality TV, you
>just never KNOW what someone's
>gonna say!!)--But, in terms of
>"learning English?" Sometimes someone just
>got here. We don't
>know. What we do know
>that is English is difficult
>to learn. Some people
>are better at learning English
>than others. To abuse
>people because they have a
>hard time learning English is
>unfair. That happens a lot
>more than it should, too.
>There are also neighborhoods designed
>in ways to accomodate other
>cultures, and there is no
>need to learn English. I
>am not saying this is
>a 'good' or 'bad' thing,
>but it's true. --This
>is coming from someone whose
>grandparents/ parents first language was
>Norwegian. Try living in the
>USA, without learning English, and
>speaking Norwegian! Almost all of
>us came from a place
>that spoke another language at
>one point. And, now, look
>at us WRITE! (that's
>meant to be funny)
>
>---I do think diversity is a
>good thing, and so is
>education. I respect your opinion,
>though.
>
>The SOH does need a good
>dose of both this season!
>It's nice to possibly see
>the beginning of both--maybe with
>some new HG's?
>
>Looking for your posts. pax!


As for English being a hard language to learn - well no one said it had to be easy but it is the official language spoken in America and should be learned (and/or attempted to be learned) by anyone and everyone who plans on living here. While some may have just gotten here the truth is that many have been here for a long time and have no inclination towards learning the language because this country makes it so easy to get by as long as one of two languages is spoken - English or Spanish. The Spanish speaking communities are just way too comfortable speaking their native tongue and really don't want to put forth the effort to learn. I guess if they want to stay in their own little community that would be fine but at some point people do venture out of their neighborhood and then have to deal with trying to communicate to those who don't speak their language. The same holds true for the neighborhood my brother lives in in Chicago - it's an 'historic Polish' neighborhood and he has neighbors in his building who have been here for over 10 yrs. and don't know 10 words of English - there's no excuse for that. I think our tax dollars could be put to better use than going towards things like court-appointed interpreters for law-breakers, signs in both languages etc. If I went to another country I would imagine I would either have to learn their language real quick or pay a tour guide to interpret for me - no one is gonna bend over backwords - at least I think not but then again who knows....

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zipitgood 0 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 02:35 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
When Allison was there she commented on "another southern girl" in the house, someone else said oh, a "lady in her 40´s", Niambi is no different..
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ChristinaJB 158 desperate attention whore postings
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04-19-06, 11:13 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I was going to post on this too. I thought she was funny. I am white and I wasn't offended. I can not for one minute imagine what it is like to be African American. For me, (I won't speak for anyone else) I don't know what it is like to be around and saturated in another race all the time. I do have African American friends and sometimes when I am the only white girl, I notice it. As kind and as sweet as they are, I notice it.
I am sure it feels more diverse now that another woman of color is there, but Niambi may or may not end up even liking her - who knows.

I just want to give Niambi a fare shake I guess.

But I do agree, it would 'SEEM' terribly bigoted if a white person would have said it. Race relations haven't come that far yet!

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MizJazmine 532 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-06, 02:55 AM (EST)
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40. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
ChristinaJB...Thank you for what you said! I was trying to think if on TV I've ever seen the reversal - a white person saying the same thing, and I don't think I have. At least I can't think of any right now. The closes I've seen it was on the comedy "King Of Queens" when Doug's best bud Deacon who is black gets a new friend who's black. Doug gets insecure and kinda jealous referring to Decon's new friend as his "black" friend. Doug played out all kinds of scenario's in his head with him being the only white guy with Deacon and other blacks. It was hysterical!

I agree I think Niambi was just having fun and being herself, and that's cool. I'm glad she's not doing the PC thing. I was also thinking the same thing about Niambi & Antonia. They may end up not even liking each other! I hope that won't be the case tho', but in the SOH ya never know....

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greeleyxcore 2 desperate attention whore postings
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04-19-06, 11:13 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
She was kidding. She was laughing and playful when it was said. She tapped Kim on the back, laughing, and said, "I'm just kidding." Kim was laughing. It was clear through her demeanor that it was said in a lighthearted way...it was a joke.
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JustBNMe 526 desperate attention whore postings
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04-19-06, 11:23 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
LAST EDITED ON 04-19-06 AT 11:26 PM (EST)

I was not offended but it was s dumb thing to say. Look at how upset Towanda got last year and what a big stink they made when Sommer said she didn't want to be fixed up with a black man because of experiences she had in the past, They made it into a huge race thing when Sommer was merely stating her preference for who she did and did not want to date. Now someone this season can make a crack about another race and it is okay and considered joking. Alot of people hide their hostility and racism under the guise of humor. Would Antonia and Niambi found it funny if Kim or Kelly had looked at the 2 of them and said "now ya have a sista to hang with so you can quit driving us nuts!"?

ETA: Niambi did say the "white" gals were naking her crazy so it was a racial thing. However I am not going to say she is a racist or a bigot. Maybe she was making nervous conversation however inappropriate it was.

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malibu 0 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 12:34 PM (EST)
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22. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
Ya know what, out of this entire thread you put it the best.
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SunKissedNikki 7 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-06, 07:01 PM (EST)
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47. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
Sommer didn't merely state her preference. She made stereotypical comments and even admitted that she was prejudice. No one really cares what type of person she wants to date, but when she goes around making these stupid comments, one involving black people and hair grease, it really shows how ignorant and superficial she is. So she doesn't date black men, so what. But generalizing a whole group of people because you're short sighted and clearly dumb as a bucket of rocks, doesn't mean 'you have a preference'. It simply means 'your elevator doesn't go all the way to the top'.

* You meaning Sommer, not the person to whom I'm responding to.

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flower2 171 desperate attention whore postings
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04-19-06, 11:24 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
What Niambi actually said was that she was glad another sister (not black sister) was in the house. I can only imagine what it's been like for a minority woman in that house--not just African American but Latinas (Lisa) as well. Everyone wants someone with whom they can identify and share like experiences. Consider walking into a roomful of strangers. Natural instinct kicks in and we immediately begin to look for similiarities between ourselves and others. On the surface, it's pretty difficult to do. I think Niambi was probably very relieved to see another woman of color (there was no mention that Antonia is African American).

Though it does not excuse or justify her insensitive comment, I believe she did mention that one of her difficulties was expressing her feelings appropriately.

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BetterVersionOfMe 5 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 00:07 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I think we tend to forget that these women live with each other and see each other day in and day out, not an hour a day five days a week. They have a bond where they feel they can joke with each other. It's not really up to us to be offended by the comment.

I don't think people would be as offended if it was a woman saying that to another woman while living with a group of men. It was a joke, with some truth behind it but I doubt it was meant to offend.

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 00:24 AM (EST)
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12. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
yep, what you said.


Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

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beckettrep 814 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 00:19 AM (EST)
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11. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
It's very typical for a Black person to be able to make those kind of remarks and get away with it - had it been the other way around all hell would have broke loose.
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standinmytruth 0 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 01:26 AM (EST)
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14. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
>It's very typical for a Black
>person to be able to
>make those kind of remarks
>and get away with it
>- had it been the
>other way around all hell
>would have broke loose.


i'm black and i get it. might not have said it, but it was clearly a joke. i have been in MANY situations where only one or two of the friends are white and they have made similar jokes. it is funny, fun loving, diversity is great. i think the "crazy" word was posibly offense. yet they are crazy--not because they're white though

peace

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 01:36 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
aHA! Now I KNOW you're not Kelly's sister.


Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

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standinmytruth 0 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 01:39 AM (EST)
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16. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
>aHA! Now I KNOW you're not
>Kelly's sister.
>
>
>Therefore do not worry about
>tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry
>about itself.
>Each day has enough trouble of
>its own. Matthew 6:34

>


roflmao!!! oops, i'm her daddy's love child.

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 01:41 AM (EST)
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17. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
Her daddy's love child!!! That might explain the divorce.

.....You are way too funny.


Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

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SueNahMe 0 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 02:15 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
>It's very typical for a Black
>person to be able to
>make those kind of remarks
>and get away with it
>- had it been the
>other way around all hell
>would have broke loose.


Stereotyping someone (whether black, white, or checkered) IMHO is considered racist, so I would never say that it's TYPICAL of a certain person to make certain remarks. I don't think Niambi was being racist when she made the remark. It was all in fun, and I think that Kim took it the way it was intended.

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Cleverone 759 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 00:59 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"

Niambi made the statement in jest and therefore meant no harm...it appeared as "a sigh of relief" since she's fairly new and to have another person that she feels she can identify with doesn't necessarily make her racist or a bigot...her unfortunate "white girls" reference was not the most appropriate thing to say, but she was talking about the women in the house...not "all white women" in general. Someone said that if it had been a reversed situation, it would've caused a stink (yes, I remember the Towanda incident...it was more about the way Sommer chose to reveal her preference than the actual racial makeup of the man). Either way, it's unfortunate....(since SO's history does reveal that the 5 to 1 ratio of it's HG's is always very apparent) they leave them selves open for situations like this to evolve.

At any rate, Niambi welcomed her as someone she might have more in common with and any white woman coming into a mix of women of color would certainly welcome another white woman the same way...maybe not in the same verbiage.


**************************
"I walk in my own shoes"
**************************

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Juliejo 477 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 10:45 AM (EST)
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19. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I agree with everything you said Cleverone. I did not think Niambi's comment was racist at all - I thought it was made in jest and it seemed to me like everyone of the other HM were laughing too.

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creepyoldwoman 104 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 11:46 AM (EST)
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21. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I think her remark was inconsiderate. However, it actually puts more pressure on Antonia then offending anyone else. IMO, Niambi is happy that someone that she could better relate to is now in the house because Antonia is also Black. Niambi solely deduces this because of the color of her skin, not anything to do with her personality, her integrity etc. If I walked into a house of black women and the lone white woman said to me "I am so happy you are here because these black women are driving me crazy" I would be like "hum, I am here for my own internal issues and this woman thinks I will be more support to her then her other roommates simply because we are the same race. How does she know that?"

I like to think SO is about womens issues as a whole. Women helping women. But sadly, the great racial divide is stronger then the fact that they are all women. I mean, how come Rhonda is never coaching a black woman? Has she? I don't recall. Maybe she did Nyanza in SO1.

I also thought about Niambi's remarks a little further. niambi, is from Tampa, Florida. I live near Tampa and I feel that things are not too fair for minorities here and it is much more publically displayed. Probably more down here, then up in Boston, where Antonia's from and where I used to live near. Niambi has probably felt a lot of racisim towards her while growing up. You can only see enough nasty bumper stickers while driving to form this opinion. Anyway, so then Niambi goes to college and when you are in college you see how perfectly illogical prejudice is. Then she comes back and is once again judged by her appearence and not her merit. For someone who belittles her personal accomplishments so much, this is probably really self destructive.

So now, she's actually putting her own insecurities on Antonia but in a seemingly positive manner. Antonia, darling, you may be the biggest most evil b*tch alive but I don't care about anything on the inside of you, Antonia darling. Because I only see the way you look.

For Niambi's sake, Iylania better hope antiona is deeper.

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NicNac 131 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 01:14 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I agree that Niambis' statement was made in fun and not meant to be a racist statement. She said it out loud for everyone to hear and they all laughed. However, if she had whispered it into Antonias ear - then it could have been taken completely different.
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redheaded1 33 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 03:10 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I agree, I think it was said in jest and I got a big laugh out of it. If she had said "all these crazy crackers", that might have been an issue. LOL

"Life's big problems include the words indictment or inoperable, the rest is small stuff"

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loretta54 45 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 03:41 PM (EST)
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27. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
i was wondering when this would be bought up. as a african-american woman i understand what she is saying. it wasn't meant to be bigoted or racist so please don't take it like that. let me try to explain. i worked at a law firm that was prodomentialy(sp) white and i went to the lunch room not one black face was in there and i felt out of place. not saying that any of those people would have asked me to sit with them. but thinking about it not a lot of those african-americans would not have asked me to sit with them either. but at least if i had seen one black face I would have felt more comfortable to stay and get some lunch. NOTICE I SAID I. the other thing is i remember meeting some friends yes they were black it was only about 3 of us i clearly remember a white woman saying this doesn't bored or board well for us. like we were going to take over the law firm or something. no, i didn't get offended i thought it was a stupid remark made by an inscure woman.
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Cinnamongirl30 75 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 04:04 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
That comment was complete bullsh*t. If the table were turned and the house was full of black women and the single white girl had said " oh thank god a white girl is coming into the house I was going crazy with all these black girls in here" Can you imagine!!! The word racist would be thrown around and offense WOULD have been taken for sure. No doubt in my mind. Iyanla would hold an emergency meeting on racism in the universe....oh I can just imagine. Society is so scared to touch the subject and to offend in certain scenarios. I would have taken offense to that and raised hell. But it would have been downplayed. Those girls left in there are spineless. We are all equal and that comment was unacceptable to me and my friends and we are not all white.
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nanapoole 2 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 03:49 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I've just found this site and all of the comments were very enlightening. Thank you for helping me see other's point of view. For what it is worth, I've spent a lot of time in Japan and was very visible as being different. From this experience I believe that all students should visit a county where they are the minitory. If one experienced this situation there would be education and through that understanding and one could appreciate the differences in others, What a wonderful world that would be! To realize no one is superior to anyone else. What a concept!
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roadrunner06 21 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 08:51 PM (EST)
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37. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
>I like to think SO is
>about womens issues as a
>whole. Women helping women. But
>sadly, the great racial divide
>is stronger then the fact
>that they are all women.
>I mean, how come Rhonda
>is never coaching a black
>woman? Has she? I don't
>recall. Maybe she did Nyanza
>in SO1.

Rhonda coached Tess (SO2). Not that there was any help for her. To echo what others are saying, I do think Naimbi was joking... but only sort of. White or black, it is hard to be the only anything in a situation. While color doesn't necessarily make for understanding, there is a shared experience that (some/many) women of color can connect with. I have always been the only minority in my situation. I'm the only woman of color who teaches in my school. If another woman of color gets hired, I'm sure I'll say something like Naimbi said.

But I probably wouldn't have said it on national television.

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GoodnightLittleBear 461 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 04:15 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I guess my opinion on this is if she were a true racist, she would not have gone to the SO house in the first place knowing that it is full of "white chicks". Nothing wrong in her feeling more comfortable with having a African American HM around. Maybe she feels she can relate better with Antonia but I do believe that what she said was pretty boneheaded regardless if she were a person of color or if she were a white woman.
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punkin123 22 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 05:06 PM (EST)
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32. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
While I don't believe a white person could have made this remark and not been called on it, I think it is the language of a younger person and showed she had gained a level of comfort with these average age 37 year olds. I didn't see it as offensive. Has anyone noticed how their own children communicate ala myspace? It's lingo.
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kalalala 75 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 07:04 PM (EST)
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34. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
quote:GoodnightLittleBear
"I guess my opinion on this is if she were a true racist, she would not have gone to the SO house in the first place knowing that it is full of "white chicks". Nothing wrong in her feeling more comfortable with having a African American HM around. Maybe she feels she can relate better with Antonia but I do believe that what she said was pretty boneheaded regardless if she were a person of color or if she were a white woman."

LittleBear, I'm with you on this. And yes, it was pretty boneheaded. Yes, she made the comment in jest, but I agree with the posters who say that if a white person said something similar, no matter how funny s/he thought they were being, it would have been considered very inappropriate.

quotehredster
"There are roughly 300 countries in the world, and the US is the _only_ one where people assume that they should be able to speak their native language and still be able to get by."

Just to broaden your horizons a little bit, there are MANY countries in the world where immigrant people speak their native language and get by, and assume there is nothing wrong with it. I'm from Canada, and trust me, we're a real potpourri of multiculture, and particularly in the big cities, you'll find areas where it is rare to hear English. Generally, the second generation grows up speaking English very well and assimilates into the country while still maintaining their pride in their native culture. It's not just the U.S. that accepts immigrants. Canada, on a per capita basis, accepts far more than the U.S., and likely other countries do too, but I don't have the data to name them.

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AshLanie 895 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 05:04 PM (EST)
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31. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
>After Niambi found out another black
>'sister' was coming into the
>house, she says to Kim
>something like, "I was going
>crazy with all you white
>girls!" If a white
>gal had said that about
>a house with all black
>housemates she would have been
>labeled a racist. I
>think that Niambi is racist
>in reserve!


I am White, with that being said I didn't see any difference in her comment than the one Allison made: Oh another southern girl in the house.


It is nice seeing soeone you can relate to when in a strange place....and the S.O. house is about as strange as it gets.

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sillybear 84 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 05:47 PM (EST)
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33. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I heard the comment and at the time all I thought was she seemed to be opening up and joking around.It was good to see her smile.Guess we all see things a little differently.Thats what makes us all special.This is a good place to see everyones point of view.
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nikkidemus 186 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 08:06 PM (EST)
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35. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I am also white and personally I wasnt offended by what Niambi said. I do agree though that if the tables were reversed a big deal would have been made of it. What I dont understand though is Antonia looks biracial to me as is Vanessa Williams,Mariah Carey etc., yet some people see them only as african-american. To me we are all sisters and we should stick together and make this world a better place.
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Woo 87 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-06, 12:21 PM (EST)
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42. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
>I am also white and personally
>I wasnt offended by what
>Niambi said. I do agree
>though that if the tables
>were reversed a big deal
>would have been made of
>it. What I dont understand
>though is Antonia looks biracial
>to me as is Vanessa
>Williams,Mariah Carey etc., yet some
>people see them only as
>african-american. To me we are
>all sisters and we should
>stick together and make this
>world a better place.


Just a sidenote: In some states any child with 1 black parent is considered black. I know that's how it is in my state. I have biracial children and both are considered black (legally). This is the reason some people considered them black. Like Halle Berry, Shemar Moore, and Tracey Ross ( of Girlfriends). Also, Vanessa Williams parents are black. She's not biracial.

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nikkidemus 186 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-06, 06:05 PM (EST)
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45. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
Thanks Woo. Is there a particular reason why though, is it the parents choice or is it the states choice or maybe when the child is of legal age do they get to choose? Just curious. Thanks for educating me on the subject.
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alaholly 497 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 08:09 PM (EST)
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36. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
The interesting side note to all of this is that from first impressions, Niambi and Antonia seem to be as different as night and day. Of all the women in the house, they seem to be the least likely to have anything in common.
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redheaded1 33 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 10:02 PM (EST)
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38. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I agree alaholly.... Niambi doesn't whine or act like a spoiled brat!

"Life's big problems include the words indictment or inoperable, the rest is small stuff"

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justashell 146 desperate attention whore postings
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04-20-06, 10:25 PM (EST)
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39. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"

A "racist" in reverse? THat's a "tsicar" isn't it?

Give the girl a break---Niambi's telling it like she sees it---those white girls have been driving each other crazy for weeks---the more proper term is "pushing buttons".

Jill needs to drop in and put everything right with some of her fun words of wisdom.

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SeasonedRefinement 1248 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-06, 04:02 AM (EST)
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41. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
If I was only reading the words that Niambi used, and if I hadn't seen how they were delivered, I might be inclined to agree that it was an inappropriate comment. But you can have two identical sentences mean completely different things depending on the tone and emphasis a person uses in delivering them. For example, "Oh yeah, right" can mean "I see", or it can mean "Give me a break". It all depends on context and tone.

Niambi didn't mean to slight anyone. I thought she was being cute, there was no malice intended. I was glad to see her relax a little.

We all have our own experiences that go into the mix. Years ago I attended a huge urban church - over 3,000 people. The racial breakdown was roughly one third white, one third black, and one third Hispanic. I remember trying to describe someone to someone else, who happened to be black. I said, "Well, he's about 5'10, he has brown eyes, really dark hair....um...". My friend asked, "Is he black, white, or Spanish?" Relieved that she had mentioned it, I said, "black". She said, "Why didn't you just say that he was black? That would have helped." Now don't laugh because I'm being honest here, but I didn't mention the man's race because I didn't want my friend to think that I noticed the color of the man's skin. Why? Because she was black too, and I didn't want her to misinterpret the fact that a white girl noticed the other guy's skin color. Yeah, it's stupid, but at the time it made sense. (that was almost 20 years ago)

I understand what people mean when they say a white woman making the same comment in reverse would be scrutinized more closely. That may be true. Unfortunately, there is a reason for that. It has to do with a shameful chapter in American history that is still not ancient history as far as a lot of Americans are concerned. So, until that wound is completely healed, we are where we are.

Good people are good people. Bigots are hateful. For me, it's isn't that difficult to tell them apart. If Niambi was a bigot, I don't think there would really be a question here...we'd know it.

Actually, I think Niambi was making an effort to form a bond with another woman who was in the same position as her...not a black woman, but a new woman in a strange house with no connections or friendships established.

There may be hatred in the SO house, but it has nothing to do with race, LOL.

*******************************************

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Woo 87 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-06, 12:34 PM (EST)
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43. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
Excellent post.
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Cleverone 759 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-06, 04:43 PM (EST)
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44. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"

I have to agree with Woo....Excellent post!!!! Very well said my friend.

****************************
"I walk in my own shoes..."
****************************

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VelvetElegance 72 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-06, 06:39 PM (EST)
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46. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
LAST EDITED ON 04-21-06 AT 08:19 PM (EST)

Listen you guys,
There was nothing remotely racist about what Niambi said. Nothing in the statement, "Thank god, another sista in the house." espouses the belief of inherent racial superiority, which is the definiton of racisim. Some of you may view it as inappropriate and I would be willing to bet my last nickel that those of you who are so offended and find it so inappropriate are seldom the only *insert race here* in the room. Those feelings are typical of those in the Majority. In the history of SO, there has never, ever been two blk ppl in the house at the same time. She was probably as shocked as she was relieved to find someone she knew she could instantly relate to. Honestly, if that were me, I probably would have had the same reaction. It is human nature to gravitate towards someone you have something in common with. Why wouldn't Niambi be excited for Antonia being there? For anyone not to acknowledge the racial ambiguities on Starting Over would be disingenuous.

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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-06, 08:15 PM (EST)
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48. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I agree with you, Velvet. I can't believe her one little statement has gotten this much "press."


Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

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Chan 4 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-06, 11:25 PM (EST)
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49. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
The statement was made that there have never been two blk ppl in the house at the same time....that is not correct. One that comes to mind is Towanda and Debora. I'm pretty sure there were others as well.
I feel that it is insensitive ( which is one of the elements of racism ) to make statements that make others feel excluded and less important. Niambi's comment fits that definition. It implies that the others (the white girls) weren't good enough for her, but her "sista" would be. That seems to prejudge the others ( another element of racism ).
Also, if we want a world that doesn't include racial biases, then we need to all be held to the same standards. I think anyone can agree that Niambi's comment would have been viewed, and reacted to, much differently if the races were reversed.
Chan
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VelvetElegance 72 desperate attention whore postings
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04-21-06, 11:53 PM (EST)
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50. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I'm not sure what all the fuss is about. The definition of racisim is clear and specific. It is the belief in the inherent superiority of one race over another. The fact that Niambi was happy that Antonia was there is neither racist nor bigoted. Imagine you were stuck in a room for say 12 hours and you were the only person who spoke english. As soon as someone came into the room who also spoke english you would be thanking your lucky stars for someone who speaks english. That doesn't mean you believe english to be a superior language, it just means it's the language you are the most familiar with..

Simple as that..

One more thing: Deborah and Towanda were not in the house at the same time. Towanda replaced Deborah.

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BeeBe 41 desperate attention whore postings
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04-22-06, 00:36 AM (EST)
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51. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I thought what Niambi said was a natural and understandable thing to say too. It's lonely being the only one of a particular group. She feels that affinity and bonding with her "sistas." It doesn't mean she won't be attached to the other women and it looks like she is already connecting with Jodi. But i thought, yeah, I get that, when I heard what she said and did not think she implied that she or other women or a certain race were better or worse, in any way.
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26mitogo 493 desperate attention whore postings
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04-22-06, 01:45 AM (EST)
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52. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
Velvet, Towanda & Deborah both came in on the 1st set of HMs last year. (Remember when Kim was all up in arms that she didn't get to choose her room ... she saw Towanda's much larger, much nicer room and wanted to find a way to be her roommate ... but was told "no changing"? Deborah came in later that same day and was Kim's roomie) I *think* Sommer took Deborah's place ... anyone?

As for Niambi's statement ... I agree, it was all in jest. In fact, I got the feeling she was a tad uncomfortable when she thought it could have been taken wrong so made sure the others in the house knew it was just for fun. Given that, I also feel that if the shoe were on a white foot, it would have incited a lot more question as to its acceptability.

Personally, I hope we can all someday be perfectly comfortable discussing anything involving race. I totally relate with Seasoned's post upthread. I live in the south ... Atlanta. Many here grapple with the exact situation Seasoned described ... being unsure whether to use race, skin color, nationality, etc. in the description of another. It may have been 20 years ago for Seasoned, but it still happens every day here. Honestly, no one really has an answer for what is OK with someone you are not well aquainted. It was even observed recently in area schools that most children were unsure whether to use race in the description of a fellow classmate or schoolmate. Most used the method Seasoned described ... tall, wore a red t-shirt, dark hair, ... Many of us have learned there are comments or statements that are politically incorrect that we didn't realize until they were pointed out. Most fear there are other ways we might unknowingly offend another so often say nothing. And that includes asking what is acceptable or appropriate. I wonder if the lack of communication, stemming from fear of offending another, may be more damaging than innocent mistakes that could be used for open and unaccusatory discussion. I was not on the SO boards last year when racism was discussed in the house. I still have questions that were not answered in Towanda's house meeting. Where do you go to ask the questions when your intention is never to offend. (I have no question when the comments are as offensive as those made by Sommer that innitiated the SO discussion. My ?s are more from several comments made by Towanda that were not completely clear.)

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AshLanie 895 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

04-22-06, 07:10 AM (EST)
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53. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
LAST EDITED ON 04-22-06 AT 07:17 AM (EST)

>I'm not sure what all the
>fuss is about. The definition
>of racisim is clear and
>specific. It is the belief
>in the inherent superiority of
>one race over another. The
>fact that Niambi was happy
>that Antonia was there is
>neither racist nor bigoted. Imagine
>you were stuck in a
>room for say 12 hours
>and you were the only
>person who spoke english. As
>soon as someone came into
>the room who also spoke
>english you would be thanking
>your lucky stars for someone
>who speaks english. That doesn't
>mean you believe english to
>be a superior language, it
>just means it's the language
>you are the most familiar
>with..
>
>Simple as that..
>
>One more thing: Deborah and Towanda
>were not in the house
>at the same time. Towanda
>replaced Deborah.

Towanda and Deborah were indeed in the house together...they both started off season two.

If you remember, Deborah and Kim had to share the smallest of rooms.


Edited to add the following:

Roommates:

Towanda and Josie
Jen and Sinae
Deborah and Kim


Sommer replaced Deborah.

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sm2 130 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

04-22-06, 08:30 PM (EST)
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57. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
It was just too bad that Niambi had to bring race into it. I don't think anyone tought anything about it until she mentioned something, teasing or otherwise.
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alyse73 87 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Hollywood Squares Square"

04-22-06, 08:14 PM (EST)
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56. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I know, if a white person said "oh great another white person I was getting tired of all these blacks" They would have sey LA on fire...again
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sharnina 3075 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"

04-22-06, 08:43 PM (EST)
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58. "RE: Couldn't believe what Niambi said"
I just don't even know what to make of this whole thread. It seems like an innocent comment was made - one that you might hear on any sitcom that you tune into that has more than one race involved.

I think what matters most is that the people who were present didn't seem to think anything of it.

I can't see Niambi as a rascist. I can't see Niambi as a bigot. I can't see Niamb trying to hurt anybody by making a light comment about being glad that another sister is coming into the house.

I guess I think it would be cool if everybody could just lighten up a little.


Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

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mysticwolf 10692 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

04-22-06, 09:28 PM (EST)
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59. "Locking"
Sorry. The one thing I make of this thread is that it is tailor made to eventually create animosity and claims of racism/reverse racism between posters. That inevitably leads to someone making a statement that leads to banishment, which, depending upon the statement made, leads to claims about racism/reverse racism about the board &/or the mods, &/or webby.

*sigh*

Been there, done that, not interested in reprising that. In the interest of preventing forest fires I am locking this thread.

Do not reopen this line of discussion.


An Arkie curious cub blogging's scary

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