Welcome to Snidget’s Science HourToday on the Science Hour we will discuss the last of a series of experiments at The Amazing Collider where pairs of atoms are flung around the world in a series of stages where one pair will reach the end first generating a million dollar genius grant you can spend on anything you want.
Introduction
During the first several stages in this series of experiments with The Amazing Collider 12 pairs of atoms were selected with a wide range of properties and bond interactions to be flung around the world. Unfortunately a bird dropped a bit of baguette into the power supply of the first stage and one pair chosen for flexibility were unable to start the first leg as after the repairs the budget cuts were just too deep. The pair chosen for their pokerness were lost during a 24 hour shutdown at a detour and the strongest pair of atom were eliminated just recently in a four hour shutdown during a roadblock. (dajaki, 2009)
Remain pairs are The Brian and The Erica atom which while appearing to be opposites have a marriage bond. This bond however does not prevent The Erica atom from achieving highly excited and unstable states. To date they have not been in the first fraction collected at the end of each section. The Sam and The Dan atoms appear to be quite similar, brother atoms if you will, but they have been observed to have a strained and verbally violent relationship with each other which threatens destruction at random intervals. They have been known to change energy states in a way that interferes with the progression of other teams while ensuring they get to the next section of the collider. The Megan and The Cheyne atoms have a stable bond that has generally worked well, with a few exceptions, and has gotten them collected in the first fraction off each section of the collider more than any other atom pair in this experiment.
So lets put on our lab coats and safety goggles and get started.
Experiment 1
Materials and Methods
Inject the three atom pairs into the Prague port at times determined by the fraction they were collected when they arrived at the Prague outlet. 11:10 AM for The Meghan and The Cheyne atoms, 12:08 pm for The Sam and The Dan atoms and 3:15 pm for The Brian and The Erica atoms. Collect the fractions at the Graceland Wedding Chapel with the Elvis detector installed.
Results and Discussion
Oh dear it seems we have a probem. The filter in the British Airway’s device is clogged and all the atoms meat up at the beginning of this leg. Upon seeing each other they achieve excited states which appears to be from the loss of The Globetrotter Atoms during the processor malfunction that lead to a four hour shut down. There is a moment of blame spreading concerning the taxi incident in the previous leg. They all arrive at the Vegas end of the the filter at the same time. After a brief scramble for the taxi transporters they all arrive at the Graceland Wedding Chapel at the same time. After dosing them with Amazing Grace they are ready for the next Experiment.
Experiment 2
Materials and Methods
Using another taxi transporter all the atom teams will be sent to the Mandalay Bay. Separate the atoms and send one to the base of the hotel and the other to the top of the hotel. Reunite the atoms in each pair by strapping the atom on the roof to a harness and sending it face first down the side of the hotel.
Results and Discussion
The taxi transporter go in different directions and The Brian and The Erica atom get to the hotel first. The Erica atom is the one that will go to the roof and go down the side of the building. The Erica atom achieves a “fearless” state while The Brian atom is in a nervous pants peeing state. The next pair to arrive is The Meghan and the Cheyne Atom with the Cheyne atom going to the roof. The Sam and The Dan atoms are stuck in the “do not enter” section of the Mandalay Bay. As they decend the building The Erica atom is in an excited state, The Cheyne atom is in a near unconscious state and once they arrive The Sam is in a booking it as quickly as possible down the building state.
Experiment 3
Materials and Methods
Using another taxi transporter the atoms will go The Mirage device. Inside this device one atom will be placed on a bungee cord and flung at a bouquet of flowers. The flung atom must bond tightly with the flowers and bring the bouquet back to the ground level.
Results and Discussion
The Erica atom begins this experiment in an excited stated due to it never being in first. The Brian warns against achieving the cocky state. The Meghan and The Cheyne atoms arrive and The Erica atom shifts to a frustrated state, this soon decays into a freaked out state. The Sam and the Dan atoms arrive. The Meghan atom is being bungied and has pain in her ankles. The Erica atom decides the Brian atom is taller and should be the one going for the flowers. The Meghan atom is the first to get the flowers and
*KLAXON WARNING SIREN*
Um, everyone put on your hearing protection The Erica Atom has achieved a highly unstable state and is throwing off excessive amounts of sound. The Same and Dan atoms complete the task by the time The Erica and Brian atoms have switched positions. The Erica descends into a “Why?” sobbing state as they return to their original positions. They eventually complete the task and head to Experiment Four.
Experiment 4
Send the atoms to the most famous casino in Monaco. Which is a city in Italy like Venice or is in Spain like Bellagio (um also Italy) or it might be a country but eventually all the atoms settle on it being at the Monte Carlo Random Number Generator. Once in the Generator they will count out exactly 1 million in poker chips before being allowed to progress.
Results and Discussion
The Sam and The Dan atoms are the first to arrive and start with the red $1,000 chips. The Megan and The Cheyne finally find someone at the Venetian apparatus that sends them back to the Monte Carlo Generator, allowing The Brian and The Erica to get ahead of them. The Sam and The Dan get into a flustered state as The Brian and The Erica arrive at the task. The Cheyne and Meghan arrive in third place and say they need to get it right the first time as the work in a focused but fast state. The Sam and The Dan atoms begin yelling about the need to stop looking at the stacks to see if they look right. All three atom pairs get counted out at the same time. The Meghan and The Cheyne are correct and counted out first. The other two teams are incorrect on the first count and must redo. On the second count The Sam and The Dan are correct but The Brian and The Erica have to do it again.
Experiment 5
Materials and Methods
Take a taxi transporter to the MGM grand to find Mr. Las Vegas to find out the location of the pitstop.
Results and Discussion
The Megan and Cheyne atoms get to The Wayne Newton who informs them the Pitstop is at his house. The Sam and The Dan forget his name but he is kind enough to tell them to go to his house anyway. While The Brian and The Erica argue over The Count, both of the other atom pairs are headed to the house. The Cheyne and The Meghan go to the wrong gate but still arrive at the pitstop in first place and collect the million dollar grant. The Sam and The Dan arrive in second place. The Brian and The Erica atoms may or may not have visited The Wayne Newton and fake shock at arriving in third.
In Conclusion:
The Cheyne atom is proud of The Meghan atom and visa versa.
The Sam and The Dan Atoms are glad to be brothers and will always be brothers no matter how much they bicker.
The Erica atom hopes the other atoms in her family will finally get to see the good in The Brian Atom.
And so we conclude our 15th experiment in The Amazing Collider without creating any of those world destructing black holes the experts were….
*reads note labeled Experiment Series 16 Spoilers I've just been handed*
Oh, um yeah, um everybody, put on the hazmat suits, the face masks, the cryro gloves and get prreeeppppaaaaarrrrrreeeeeeedddddddddddd.
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