TAR12.4 Official RTVW Summary: "No Chicken, No Check-in"
Greetings TAR fans! Last week on The Amazing Race, there were ticked off camels and a big fat hissy fit. To Donald’s dismay, sisters Marianna and Julia were eliminated. Click here to read ARnutz’s clever summary.
We begin this leg in The Middle of Nowhere in Burkina Faso, a developing country in western Africa, which, according to my globe here, is bordered by 6 other west African countries that may or may not also be developing. There. I learned something, though not much.
It is 7:58 am and last week’s first place finishers Hendekea and Azaria open their clue. They must follow a marked path to a nearby village and find a tribal chief who will give them a present. They will have no money for this leg. Azaria tells us that Hendekea has "physical limitations". Hendekea retorts: "’Physical limitations?’ Like I’m a r*t*rd or something." They really did bleep "retard" and blur her mouth. And good on 'em, frankly. Moving right along.
Hendazaria make it to the village and get their present. Guess what the present is. C'mon, guess! It’s a chicken! They have to stuff it in a bag (poor chicken) and keep it with them until the end of the leg: "No chicken, no check-in," says the clue.
The clue tells them to take a cab to Boude Peletanga. Hendazaria head out, with Azaria "encouraging" Hendekea all the way.
Back at the Pit Stop, it is only 14 minutes later and TK and Rachel are leaving. They say that they are not going to put pressure on themselves to avoid screwing up too much.
Jen and Nathan leave a minutes later, at 8:13. Jen tells us she wants to come in first this leg!
Kynt and Vyxsin leave at 8:14. Kynt tells us that they are sincere people, which has so far been to their advantage.
Ronald and Christina leave at 8:15. Ronald feels that his newfound respect for Christina has been validated by their move up in the rankings. So if they’d dropped to 8th place it wouldn’t be worth it to treat his daughter properly?
Nicolas and Donald, the last of the teams to get bunched at the mat last time, leave at 8:16. Nick tells us that grampa’s life experience makes him a great partner.
We are shown TKR and Jenathan grabbing their chicken. For some reason, Jenathan’s tries to get away. Goofy music plays in the background. The other teams catch chickens too.
Shana and Jennifer, the Dippy Blondes, leave at 8:38, insisting that they are great friends and both have equal say in the decisions made on the Race. In the chicken pen, they flap around worse than the chickens. They name their chicken Phil because it has spiky hair like Phil and is also cute like Phil. No doubt Phil is pleased with this comparison.
Hendazaria have arrived in Boude Peletanga and now speed off for...a potty break! Hendekea can’t hold it and didn’t go before they left the Pit Stop. Azaria is incensed. Jenathan make it to the clue box first and are now in first place, just like Jen wants! TKR show up and get the second clue, leaving Azaria grinding his teeth in third. They discover that they must now choose between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons.
Detour!
Shake Your Pan: mine 1oz of gold using local techniques. Don’t worry too much, because the producers tossed big chunks of the stuff in there. It won’t take long at all. If there was so much gold just lying around in Burkina Faso, it would probably be more developed by now.
Shake Your Booty: Have Cousin It or one of his friends teach you a few local dance moves, then perform for the standard panel of 3 judges (2 male, one female). Teams who fail to impress with their creativity will incur a 10-minute penalty before being given their next clue.
Lorena and Jason finally leave the Pit Stop at 10:07. They concede that the previous day was "rough", but that they are trying to keep it cool and not giving up. Wisely, Jason handles the chicken-grabbing all by himself.
Many cabs are now en route to Boude Peletanga.
Let’s move on to So You Think You Can Dance: Burkina Faso. Jenathan kick it off with a totally lame 1-2-3-4 dance. Members of the audience politely cover their mouths as they laugh at the crazy foreigners trying to dance. Judge Paula looks like she might give them a pass, but Simon says they have no creativity and they’re off to the penalty box. OK, OK, I know Paula and Simon are on American Idol, and American Idol is a singing show, not a dancing show. But I don’t know anything about So You Think You Can Dance. Well, OK, actually, I just went and googled some stuff for this paragraph here and then I realized that I was putting a whole lot of effort into this and really, far more people would understand an AI reference, however inaccurate it would be under the circumstances.
Where was I? Oh yes. The dancing...
Jen is cheesed off. She’s a dancer! And for The Clippers, no less! The dancing world is going to razz her like crazy when she gets home! Gosh darn it! And they were in first, too.
TKR choose to dance too, but after watching Jenathan go down in flames, they opt to pan for gold instead. They get lost on the way, but make it eventually. Speaking of the gold-panning option, Nicolas and Donald head straight there, for which we are all no doubt eternally grateful. Nothing much happens except that Donald uses the word "crap" and TK and Rachel try to find the gold without rinsing the mud off or anything.
Back to dancing.
Here come Hendazaria. They dance, they pass and are given the next clue. They will head to the Peletanga market on foot. But beware! There is a U-Turn up ahead. What is this U-Turn, you ask? Well, instead of Yielding another team, you now make them go back to the Detour and do the option that they didn’t do before. Thus, the U-Turn is only found after a Detour. There are only 2 U-Turns in the game and any team can only use it once during the Race.
At the market, teams find the U-Turn and then the clue, which tells them to go back to the outskirts of Ouagadougou to the Tampouy Goat Market.
Ronald and Christina hop and skip while waving their ski poles, nearly knocking each other down in the end. They get a penalty.
Kynt and Vyxsin choose to dance. Who knew that Kynt was a world-class baton-twirler? The tough judge thinks they are "wonderful".
Shana and Jennifer start their dance by crawling...maybe sexily? on the ground and proceeding to wiggle their hips in what I imagine they thought was an enticing way. Blech. Even still, they are given a clue. Good thing, because they sure need one.
The Dips race to the U-Turn with TKR in hot pursuit. One of the Blondes tells the other they are going to U-Turn the team behind them, because they are a strong team and the Dips need some breathing space. The other one is not sure that’s a good idea because of karma. Nevertheless, the pro-U-Turn Dip prevails and they slap a picture of the "strong team that just behind them" up on the board: Lorena and Jason. Um. Girls? The team who was actually behind them, TK and Rachel, show up shortly thereafter and breathe a sigh of relief that they have not been non-Yielded. They comment that the Dips have made enemies.
Lorena and Jason are just now (according to the editing) making it to the Detour. They choose the dance. Jason says he originally fell for Lorena because she was a hot dancer. He totally steals my joke and says that he feels like he is on American Idol and wonders which one is Simon. *pout* They get their clue and head to the U-Turn.
At the goat market, we find a:
Roadblock!
As you will recall from previous seasons of The Amazing Race, a Roadblock is a task that only one team member may perform. This time, one team member must load a great lot of supplies on a bicycle, including one cruelly hog-tied goat in a plastic laundry basket, and deliver the load to a particular merchant. So it’s kind of a search task. Thankfully, there have been few of those this season. So far.
Azaria and Jen are the first team members who are "ready for a juggling act". Jen feels badly for her pitifully mewling goat. Nathan stresses Jen out by shouting useless advice.
Vyxsin, Christina and Nicolas choose to do the RB because they think they can juggle. Oddly, none of them considered the possibility that the clue shouldn’t be read literally.
Lorena and Jason discover they have been U-Turned. They are mad, but think if they can git ‘er done, they can catch up. They make short work of the gold-panning.
Hendazaria and Jenathan finish the RB at more or less the same time and get the clue that directs them to the Pit Stop, the Hotel de Ville in Ouagadougou. Phil reminds us that everyone has to have their chicken. So we will end the leg in Burkina Faso, a developing country in western Africa bordered by 6 other west African countries, which may or may not be developing. Wait, did anyone else have a déjà vu moment? So, a whole leg in a tiny little section of a country I bet half the Racers had never heard of before going there. Well, OK, ‘half’ might be a bit too generous an estimate.
Rachel and Shana head off to do the RB while TK is obliged to play father-confessor for Jennifer, who feels guilty about having U-Turned Jason and Lorena. For fun, the editing shows us that Shana is having a tough time of the RB. You kind of hope that Lorena and Jason catch up and the Dips will get eliminated. Then you think about the camel-milking RB and you don’t hope that anymore. Shana is worried about the goat biting her. Jennifer tells her that goats don’t bite, they ram you, so nothing to worry about. Those teeth are just decorative.
Vyxsin is having a hard time securing her load. Kynt is full of advice, but not much help. Vyxsin finds a group of local children, who help and encourage her.
Jenathan and Hendazaria are racing to the Pit Stop. They stop their cabs and run run run, both teams doing their best to make first place. Jen yells out: "Come on you guys! You got first three times!" Hendazaria are not swayed and fail completely to give up for the sake of Jen’s ambition. They get first place again and win Yamaha motor scooters.
Jen whines that she wants to be first. She stomps her foot and says they keep taking all the turns. Please explain to me why you think your competition should just move over so you can come in first. Is that actually coming in first? No, it's not. It's coming in second, and having the first place team step aside so you can get a prize you didn't earn by being first.
Hendekea tells Phil that they’re here to win and won’t hold back.
Back at the goat market, Nick and Don, Ron and Chris, and Kynt and Vyxsin finish and jump into their taxis. Vyxsin tells us how she has been affected by seeing the poverty in the area. She breaks down saying "the people are so wonderful...and to grow up and just live...and this is it for you..."
Shots of Lorena and Jason declaring they are not giving up are interspersed with shots of Shana having trouble at the RB. Very suspenseful.
Ron and Chris are team #3. Nick and Don are close behind.
Kynt and Vyxsin are fifth. They tell Phil how open and tolerant people are. The Native Greeter nods in approval. Vyxsin rocks her chicken like a baby.
Jason says they’re going to screw over the Blondes, who are just checking in as team #6.
Rachel finishes the RB just as Jason is starting. TK and Rachel are happy to be team 7.
In the cab on the way to the Pit Stop, Lorena is in tears. Jason consoles her saying that they’ll make their million dollars another way. Sad music plays. At the Mat, Phil eliminates them. Even sadder music plays. Lorena gets her plug in for getting married, but says that she doesn’t have to be in a rush for it. Jason tells us that marriage is confining. Oddly, they say these things separately.
Tune in next week when Ron falls down and goes boom, the Dippy Blondes might get hit by a bus and Scuba Steve will give us all the details!
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