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"Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

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Seana 5044 desperate attention whore postings DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"	04-02-07, 00:16 AM (EST)
"Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"
Hello all and welcome to the end of Leg 8. We had to pull out a whole new bag of tricks for this season of the Race. Who knew we'd get so many Racers so far behind? Good thing we fixed everything so that the teams would be a little closer together. whew It sucks having to stay up for days at a time. And? I have to be at the next Pit Stop ahead of the first team. I have to fly on regular planes like everyone else, you know. It's not like CBS will even spring for first class for me, let alone a private plane. Anyway. Hey, how about that bong sound we play whenever we want to point out that something funny has occurred or will shortly occur? We don't want our viewers to miss an amusing moment. Uchenna and Joyce, if memory serves, you needed a FF to come in first in your season, too. But then you came in first when it counted, I guess. Oswald and Danny, way to break a piano. What have you two been talking about for 13 years if Ozzie didn't know Danny played? Dustin and Kandice, first in the 7th leg and 3rd this time. How did you feel knowing that some teams hadn't even checked in when you were leaving? Charla and Mirna, it seems that Polish people hate you. Also, I will never eat kielbasa again. Or lead a horse wearing an authentic suit of armour. Eric and Danielle, nice bickering. Eric says that Danielle and Dani were just screwing around during their season. Danielle says she doesn't know why Jeremy didn't kill Eric. You guys have no repect for each other. It's really sad. Joe and Bill, you're the last team to arrive. Again. I'm sorry, guys, that's it for you. But at least you weren't 19 hours behind this time, right? Now go p!ss off the Festers in Sequesterville. Administrative Notes: Please keep the game in the game thread. New posters are welcome! All the Racers are taken. Anyone may post as a sound person or cameraman or taxi driver. Or hey, be creative! Post as a horse or a piano tuner. Jump on in and play with us!
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Max Headroom 10028 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-02-07, 06:54 AM (EST)

1. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

LAST EDITED ON 04-02-07 AT 06:55 AM (EST)
What a touching experience going to Auschwitz. It was refreshing that we weren't expected to run around doing tasks and otherwise be disrespectful.
Mmm, kielbasa.
Charla and Mirna, I would like to congratulate the two of you on your supportive teamwork, which you displayed so well at the sausage-eating task.
Phil, nice job with the odd number of teams on the first bus and the Intersection following right afterwards. Having a taxi driver get lost cost us 4 hours. Sheesh. It's hard to maintain an upbeat, cheerful attitude when faced with that sort of carp.

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foonermints 12302 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-02-07, 08:20 AM (EST)

2. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

My gnome Overlords have again shown their largesse by gyping one of the teams out of a first place prize. Way to show class, Travelocity.

I hate working for you. I'm applying to work with Boo in Marcellus' garden.

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sporkman 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
04-02-07, 08:48 AM (EST)

3. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

Charla,
Great job doing the Binge and Purge just like a beauty queen! After TAR-Stars, will you be appearing at any Mrs. Little Person USA pageants? I'm not expert on beauty pageant preparation, but I think you added an extra step there. I think it's just Binge and Purge, not Binge and Purge and Binge. You might want to check with your new friend Miss. California.

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bystander 4967 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Stuff Magazine Centerfold"
04-02-07, 09:33 AM (EST)

4. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

Don't listen to the Drag Queen...keep with the Beauty Queen babe...you did just fine. That technique I showed you worked fabulously. Just remember the 10 steps next time.....
1. Open Mouth (we're beauty queens have the ability to open wide to get what we want)
2. Insert Finger (or knife or fork, sometimes we have to improvise)
3. Have a good friend hold your hair back. (this comes in handy for many activities. You don't wanna get "stuff" in your hair!)
3. Vomit profusely (making disgusting wretching noises is optional...The more practice you have the more able you will be to keep this to a minimum.)
7. Spit remaining food particles in receptacle of choice.
9. Smile cuz you are a beauty queen afterall (well you're not but you know what I mean. In your case you'll look a lot less troll-like.)
10. Rinse and Repeat!

I'm glad I didn't get anything on my PINK sweatsuit.

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sporkman 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
04-02-07, 10:06 AM (EST)

6. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

I was trying to be nice. All I was saying is I think she has potential. With all the foreign languages she knows, I really think she could score points during the interview portion if she answered each question using a different accent.
For her talent she could tune pianos.... no
Show off her equestrian skills.... no
Display her Rat handling skills.... maybe
I'm sure she has some talent she could show off.

I've seen her in her bathing suit and all I have to say is whoa! (That was a bathing suit, right?)

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Max Headroom 10028 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-02-07, 11:48 AM (EST)

9. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

Potential for what? From what I saw, the only thing she's good for is giving Mirna someone to yell at. Just ask her, she'll tell you.

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-02-07, 09:59 AM (EST)

5. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

*jumping up and down*
Hey! HEY! HEYYYYYYYY! Over here, plane!
Let go of me, Bill! Or better yet, c'mon! I'm gonna ride in the wheel well! We can do it!

I don't have abandonment issues . . . often.

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sporkman 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
04-02-07, 10:35 AM (EST)

8. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

Joe, that was really embarrassing. I've never been so embarrassed in my life. What could be more humiliating then being stuck at the airport with Danielle and Eric. They're a team who has no skill, only luck. We are a team that has skills. Don't worry Joe, with our skills we will beat team Mix-n-match by at least an hour.

-Now where is that ticket dispenser? Why don't these locals know what an Amazing Race ticket dispenser looks like?
-I see a knife.. Scissors... Ribs.. Is the clue medical malpractice lawsuit? No..
-Why the heck are there so many statues in this city. How did all of the other teams find the statue when there are so many damn statues?
-You would think a large castle would stick out in the middle of the country side. Why can't we find it?
Oh well, This time we were only 28 minutes behind the next team. Joe called me his Knight in shining armor! Phil, if you let me keep this knight's armor, I'll give you another kiss.

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-03-07, 03:08 PM (EST)

17. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

I got your Armor All right here.
Oops.
*runs out to find Brasso somewhere in Krakow*

You watch. We'll be the Shiny Happy Guidos.

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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-02-07, 10:29 AM (EST)

7. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

Oh well. All of us here in the mansion have known we'd be seeing the Guidos sooner or later. We have a "special" room reserved for them in the basement (thinking out of sight-out of mind).
Course, on the other hand, I think I heard they are pretty good cooks so we'll probably let them have the run of the kitchen. Goodness knows, we're all tired of Mary's roadkill stew, fried rabbit and squirrel & dumplings.
Come on in guys. Your "kiss the cook" apron is hanging by the door.

Handcrafted by RollDdice

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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
04-04-07, 06:33 PM (EST)

21. "What's cookin' in Sequesterville?"

Ah hear that Joe and Bill, those there ho-mo-sex-u-als, lahk that there kill-bass-a, so Dave has gone fishin' so Ah kin make some for our dinner tonaght. Ain't that great?

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-04-07, 07:57 PM (EST)

23. "RE: What's cookin' in Sequesterville?"

LAST EDITED ON 04-04-07 AT 08:03 PM (EST)
I thought David didn't like water.

We're not all that crazy about it ourselves.
Pass the pierogies, Bill.

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Molaholic 8451 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-02-07, 01:59 PM (EST)

10. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

Before the fun stuff; let me take a moment to echo earlier sentiments thanking EPBvM for having the class not to desecrate Auschwitz with some kind of inane task. It was very moving to see the effect it had on all of the racers.
~ Mole

Welcome to Poland! Proud home of two-foot kielbasas, single-minded horses and lost taxi drivers!
Uchenna and Joyce and Danny and Oswald Congratulations on the great leg. Good thing you all know how to count! And Danny and Oswald, you sure are nice to those millionaires!
Dustin and Kandice Surprise! You managed to find Poland after all! Who'd a thunk it, too -- a couple of Beauty Queens being able to down all that kielbasa. But why didn't you teach Schmirna a more -- shall we say -- lady-like way of filling that bucket?
Hey Phil, while we've got some dead time, I thought I'd mention something. I heard that there was some other team in the race. A couple of gals that really like the locals -- they treat them with the greatest respect and are just soooo lovey-dovey. I wonder where they are? All I see now is this horse wandering around on his own -- and the stench of spewed kielbasa.
Eric and Danielle Great job beating out the Guidos in that final leg. Now let me give you a wee bit of sage Polish advice -- don't be idjits to each other. You're a team. You need each other. Otherwise, you'll be off to see Romber, the Festers and Team Kentucky in Sequesterville (but I hear they've got some extra kielbasa on the menu).
Joe and Bill Well, it was a fun race while it lasted. At least we got to see a real Knight in Shining Armor get a peck on the cheek. Somehow I doubt that is in the original Book of Chivalry. Enjoy the rest of the race in Sequesterville, guys.

Andy, you still owe me 14 minutes -

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beau_30 943 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
04-02-07, 07:40 PM (EST)

11. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

$2.00 dollars for coffe is way to much money to spend on the race. We need to perseve the money as much as you can on this part of the leg.

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-03-07, 03:06 PM (EST)

16. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

Luckily for you, she didn't ask for wine.

Oh, by the way: thanks for nothing at the sausage Roadblock.

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CwazyWabbit 169 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
04-04-07, 07:33 PM (EST)

22. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

I don't know what the fuss was Eric was making about the money. You should have seen how much coinage the locals threw at me when I walked down the street. Eric's just a ~~big~~ meanie. Oh, and the plane thing...if Joe hadn't of run out there, I know I could have stopped the plane. All I would have had to do was flash my boobs and that pilot most definitely would have brought that plane right back to the stair thingy. So, how long is 2 feet again? It's been awhile since I have seen a sausage that long...not since Eric ~~called me with this hair-brained scheme to pretend we were a dating couple so we could get on the race and win a million dollars~~ and I started dating. Now those 3" sausages...those I know what to do with.

Never underestimate the power of my boobies. I will have cawfee next week.

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zipperhead 3442 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
04-03-07, 10:08 AM (EST)

12. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

Has anyone seen my cousin? Maybe the horse ate her. Or she got sick from eating all of that dirt. Oh, how I laughed when she was face-down with thirty pounds of armor on her. I laughed hard and long, my friends. She is a clown and I keep her around for my amusement. Do not hate me - you find her amusing too, no?
However, I am not letting her doing any more eating challenges. It is difficult enough to smell her regular funk. But once she throws up, her breath smells like Ian and Terri's used paper drawers after they have spent a week in an aeroporto.
Polish people do hate us - and for no good reason. Everyone demands that their drivers know where to go and tells their drivers to go fast. Why must we be laughed at and have doors slammed in our face? They are not beautiful people like me. No wonder they keep getten beaten by the Russians and the Germans. I would wish them death and humiliation, but Auschwitz kind of fills that gap.
Charla would have just done better with the horse if she had hung off of the reigns like a tassle. Dumbass couldn't even get the horse to go straight. Who knows, maybe she had a gay horse.

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vince3 17341 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-03-07, 10:14 AM (EST)

13. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

I think she was waiting for you to show up this week.......

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zipperhead 3442 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
04-03-07, 01:35 PM (EST)

15. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

Yes, I see what you are saying... she has followed me in every one of these threads except for two.
She is so lazy. Can she not even post without me?
Charla! C'mon!! Post something!!! CHARLA!!!!

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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-03-07, 04:39 PM (EST)

20. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

Have we met?
I think I'll just stand over here for a while. Twenty-one feet away. Gee, look at those time penalties piling up. Bruck? I'd like to swap out for Colin now. My cousin is broken.
Guess what, Mirna? If I'm here just to be yelled at, then maybe being yelled at isn't worth half a million dollars. I'm sure I can slow down at a crucial moment, or stay a little bit too far away for just a minute too long, or -- anything, really. Maybe I'll just wear this stupid armor for the rest of the course. (I have knees. The armor doesn't. And what happened to the legendary steak-eating horses of Poland, anyway? Maybe the sausage just wasn't good enough for them...) I have been hauling mannikins, eating twice my stomach capacity in sausage and then throwing up to make room for more, trying to tune pianos with someone who thinks the test wedge is for dusting with (and if you've ever seen her apartment, you'd know 'dusting' isn't in her vocabulary. She barely has a handle on 'Dustin') and for what? To get yelled at. Endlessly. No wonder the Poles wouldn't help us. They probably heard the echoes before we ever got there.
I hated Lance & Marshall's letter. It was hateful, full of spite, and flooded with leftover loathing from a pair of quitters. But maybe there was a lesson in it. Maybe spiteful quitting is actually the way to go.
I think I'll take a nap. Wake me up five hours after we're scheduled to leave.

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cahaya 18904 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-05-07, 11:29 PM (EST)

25. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

I'd been waiting for you to show up, though, just to say thanks for the prize! But don't expect us to return the favor if it's for the $1 million mat!
Oh, Joyce, now where are you?

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sporkman 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
04-05-07, 04:52 PM (EST)

24. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

"Polish people do hate us - and for no good reason. Everyone demands that their drivers know where to go and tells their drivers to go fast. Why must we be laughed at and have doors slammed in our face? They are not beautiful people like me."
Rob gave me the money he had left over from his Poker career and had me pay off all of the locals. It's kind of like that Chevy Chase movie where Chevy paid all of the rude locals to act really nice so he could sell his house, except it was nice locals that we paid to act rude, and it was all so that Romber could have a laugh.

I think I'll have to give a bonus to the two cab drivers.

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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-03-07, 11:52 AM (EST)

14. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

LAST EDITED ON 04-03-07 AT 11:52 AM (EST)
Well! The Guidos don't show up ay Sequesterville and after I've finally convinced Mary to allow them to do the cooking for awhile!
JV&J don't know much about cooking, and Romber have someone to do that for them at home; the Festers would eat pizza every day if they could get it. Mary is still cooking the Hillbilly stuff. I don't know if I can take it much longer!
I really don't want to do kitchen duty myself but I may have to take charge or starve! (& starving is NOT good for my botox).
So the Guidos got to continue traveling and playing at doing the detours & roadblocks. Hope they had fun!

Handcrafted by RollDdice

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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
04-03-07, 03:10 PM (EST)

18. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

Not to worry. We'll send you our latest cookbook, Cooking Guido.

No, wait a minute . . .

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sporkman 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
04-03-07, 04:15 PM (EST)

19. "RE: Be the All-sTAR, Eps 7&8"

Stop kidding around Joe. We have to get our rest. Phil needs us to be the ~~dummies~~ decoys next week.

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