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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"Be the Amazing Racer 11.1"
Seana 5044 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-19-07, 01:00 AM (EST)
 
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"Be the Amazing Racer 11.1" |
Welcome to Peru Ecuador, Racers! We got off to quite a start. I was pleased to see that some of you learned something from your previous Race experience and amused to see that some of you did not.Just a quick warning here, people. I have seen all your pre-Race interviews and all your confessionals during the Race. If just one of you says "It's the chance of a lifetime - twice!" again, I will shoot someone. Probably Rob. Moving right along... Rob and Amber, you're team number one! CBS will be sending you to Whistler, BC, where you have to smoke pot if you want to be a proper snowboarder. Too bad you tried the search task first. Find a button in a field? *snort* But props to Rob for picking up Oswald and Danny in the shuttle, though it nearly burst your spleen to do it. 2. Oswald and Danny, so far so good. Is there such a thing as a horse manicurist? 3. Teri and Ian: You know, it really isn't fair that the other teams have cutesy nicknames and you don't. Even still, I'm not calling you The Big Kahunas. Nuh-uh. 4. Eric and Danielle: I'm not going to bother talking to Danielle, since Eric is the boss. He is also a gentleman. I'm apparently not remembering Season 9 accurately. I remember him and Jeremy ogling anything in a skirt and generally going on and on and on and on about getting laid. My memory is hazy. Let's run the clip of Danielle frolicking on the beach in that little pink number while I try to clear my head. 5. Joe and Bill: Why was Bill patting Joe in the car on the way to the Detour? That was just so creepy and weird. 6. Dustin and Kandice: It was wise to mistrust Mary when she told you the Copa flight was quickest. And do feel free to hug me when you step on the Pit Stop Mat. 7. Uchenna and Joyce: So really, aside from Joyce's hairdo, nothing has really changed. Your marriage is still tense because you have no baby. You still don't really have that killer instinct. 8. Charla and Mirna: You *STILL* can't drive stick? I mean, come. on. I would have thought that at some point you might have realised that you were going to do all the driving again and that it might be a good idea to practice. Also, what's with the Slavic accent? Does that make it easier for the native Spanish speakers to understand you? 9. David OMG what happened to your eyebrows? and Mary: Or is it just going to be Mary? To quote your confessional: "I don't need an alliance. I can win on my own without someone giving it to me." So is David going to have a role in this at all? Maybe he could have reminded you about checking the flights to see which one gets in earlier? I understand that you were in this Race just last season. How quickly they forget. 10. Kevin and Drew: Was it wrong that I laughed while Drew was rolling around on the ground moaning loudly? 'Cause that was some kind of funny. John Vito and Jill: I'm sorry to tell you you've been eliminated from the Race. Gosh. This messes up our Young and Reasonably Attractive Straight White Couple quota. Now all we've got are Romber and Eric and Danielle. Maybe if you'd said "Eyes on the prize" or "Give it 110%" a couple more times, that guy would have taken you the right way and you wouldn't have gone to the wrong entrance. Sorry. Good luck on your "new path". 
Administrative Notes:Please keep the game in the game thread. New posters are welcome! All the Racers are taken except for Drew, Teri and Ian. If you want one of them, please let me know. Anyone may post as a sound person or cameraman or taxi driver. Or hey, be creative! Post as one of the horses or Drew's shoulder. Jump on in and play with us!
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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-19-07, 09:02 AM (EST)
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1. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 11.1" |
Y'know, cousin, we've been together for pretty much our entire lives. I'd like to think you know me better than just about anyone, including my husband. I'd even like to think I know you that well, and I still haven't walked out on you. (I can't quite figure out why.) And, after having been partnered all those years, doing so many things together ---- you still have no idea how fast I run. Listen carefully. I. Am. Short. I do not have particularly long legs. I don't cover a lot of ground on a stride and Heelies? Are best for gliding. Yelling at me to hurry up is going to do nothing except make me want to throw you across the parking lot when I get there. (And we both know I can throw you across the parking lot.) There are times when you get me so upset, I lose track of which country I'm in. Not as bad as the poor aching Festers, but still -- back off. Back off very rapido. Well, that was nice and embarrassing for a first leg, wasn't it? Is it so much to ask that you learn to drive a stick? Tell north from south? Not get lost in a national park approximately the size of Colin's ego? How many places did we drop back? Oh, well -- if we're very lucky, that just let us work some of the kinks out. Maybe the next leg will be smoother. And we do seem to be getting along with the other teams: for some reason, David & Mary even look up to us. Not having any major rivalries with anyone in the group could help in the long run, especially if we don't look like threats and someone decides to tow us for a while. Maybe the Heelies will come in handy there. Peace, love, and goodwill. Maybe that's the way to get through the next leg. What could possibly go wrong?
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zipperhead 3442 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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02-19-07, 11:42 AM (EST)
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7. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 11.1" |
I'm not asking you to run. I'm telling you to cartwheel your fat ass down the road just like you do in our little clip at the beginning of the show.
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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-19-07, 11:53 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 11.1" |
LAST EDITED ON 02-19-07 AT 11:55 AM (EST)You wish you had this wagon I'm draggin'. Besides, you didn't say 'cartwheel'. And I couldn't have done it anyway -- Drew was too close behind me. The instant I flipped, I would have kicked him in the crotch. And that's Kevin's job, so he would have been really upset. Do you think we can keep David & Mary behind us for a while? They seem to like teaming up with people they can trail. We come in next to last, they come in -- okay, possible flaw...
By the way, which one of us got the HBO role and invitation to the celebrity poker tournament again?
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Estee 55194 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-19-07, 01:22 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 11.1" |
I got beaten by Voldemort. I still have the scars.And then I strained my neck talking to TallPhil. Not one of my better weeks.
Then again, everyone strains their neck talking to TallPhil.
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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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02-19-07, 07:15 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 11.1" |
Oh, mah gawsh! We get to stand next to Charla and Myrna! We are yore biggest fans! Can we foller y'all around the whole race? That was fun!This is the first tahm ah ever met one of them thar little people. I lahk 'em. 
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Cygnus X1 7505 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-19-07, 03:46 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 11.1" |
LAST EDITED ON 02-19-07 AT 03:47 PM (EST)Welp, honey, I know what we gotta do: 1. Mail that horse's nail back to Guido. He needs a new chew toy. 2. Figure out how to get the spotlight off the Cha-Chas, because WE'RE the only queer team anyone should be caring about. 
Whaddya mean, "wife"?
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jbug 16685 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-19-07, 11:10 AM (EST)
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4. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 11.1" |
I've never done this before, but I'll try to "be" Teri. My DH is nothing like Ian, but I think I can still handle him (Ian that is).I had a nice long talk with Ian before the start of this race. If he doesn't stay in line (you other women know what I mean), he'll pay for it and I won't wait till the race is over! Did you all notice that I've had a "little" something done to my face? Can you tell? Our 2nd place winnings helped pay for the Botox. I now look much younger than Ian, don't ya think? I don't want ANYONE asking me about my paper underwear - that's my own private business, ok?
 Handcrafted by RollDdice
>New posters are welcome! All the Racers are taken except
>for Drew, Teri and Ian. If you want one of them, please let me
>know.
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zipperhead 3442 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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02-21-07, 11:42 AM (EST)
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56. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 11.1" |
I knew it! No one could resist my charm and beauty unless they were under someone else's spell.
I'm going to have to fixate on Romber because Colin is not here.
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sporkman 239 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"
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02-21-07, 02:13 PM (EST)
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58. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 11.1" |
Thats right, Mr Keoghan thought you would be less of a threat to Romber then John Vito and Jill.
 
We love you Romber, oh yes we do. We love you Romber and will be true.
When your not near us, we're blue. Oh, Romber, we love you!
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Molaholic 8451 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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02-19-07, 12:37 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 11.1" |
Welcome to Ecuador! (Drew -- or was it Kevin? -- all you have to do READ THE FRIGGIN CLUE and you'll know what country you're in... but more on that later). Also, I got this message from the car rental company -- they're going to charge you extra for destroying that tire and axle assembly.So, teams are still out there with the same old battle plan:
Just.Be.Stupid. It's not like the notion of "use the north entrance" is such a foreign notion, after all. But it's so nice to know that it will be so easy to get some of you totally lost. And -- while I do appreciate the effort to speak Spanish, with lots of "rapido" and "muy rapido"s -- would it kill any of you to toss in an occasional "por favor" or "gracias"? Sheesh. So, John Vito and Jill: First team to be Philiminated and see Sequesterville. Don't fret, you'll be getting plenty of company real soon (nudge to K&D). 
Andy, you still owe me 14 minutes -
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Sahara 759 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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02-19-07, 07:25 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 11.1" |
LAST EDITED ON 02-19-07 AT 07:29 PM (EST)Bet y'all didn't know ah could tell a lie lahk that, did ya? Ah can be sneakier than a two-headed snake in an apple orchard, ya know. Y'all ain't good people. Ah don't lahk to race with people that ain't good people.
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warp_core breach 469 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Daytime Soap Guest Star"
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02-20-07, 12:37 PM (EST)
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50. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 11.1" |
Nawt tew much tyme, Mury. (*gets whacked in the head with Mary's fanny pack*) Yeah, whatevr ya say, deer. Good idea. They's furendly them thar h'mosexals. Yeah yur right, stoopid airplane shoulda got thar furst... what ya got in that thur pack anyways? (*rubs goose egg on head*) 
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zipperhead 3442 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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02-20-07, 01:45 PM (EST)
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53. "RE: Be the Amazing Racer 11.1" |
Christ on crackers, man - you have a worse accent than I do.
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