Previously on Survivor, two castaways were voted off the island. But this is TAR and nobody was eliminated. Dave and Mary have to come in first or they get a 30 minute time penalty but that shouldn’t matter too much, eh?So after the credits, we see Phil introducing us to India (not that it matters because we know the teams are going to another country soon). Leaving the pitstop first, Peter and Sarah (a.k.a. Team Let’s give the hard stuff to do to the girl with one leg) get a video phone message about how they go to Kuwait to check out a large dome structure. (Insert very bad joke about Sarah being in common with too many soldiers losing their legs. I know, I know. Saudi Arabia is neither Iraq nor Afghanistan.) Of course, Peter is like the drill sergeant to Sarah.
The next team to leave is Dustin and Kandice, a.k.a. the beauty queens or Barbies. I think of these girls as “Beauty is only skin-deep but ugly is straight to the bone.”
So, Peter and Sarah play the medical emergency card and the beauty queens play the “We’re celebrities” card to get on the fastest flights available. Ah, what wonderful DAWs.
So the next team to leave is Rob and Kimberly (Team We yell a lot). They are followed by Erwin and Godwin (Team We’re Asians but not Cao Boi). Erwin and Godwin are forming an alliance with Lyn and Karlyn, a.k.a. Team We’re Single Moms, and Dave and Mary.
Tyler and James, a.k.a. We’re not druggies anymore but we might as well be, are the next team to leave.
And finally, Dave and Mary (Team We may not know much about the world but we sure enjoy what we see) leave with the threat of a time penalty looming over their heads.
Surprise, surprise, even with playing the medical emergency card and the “We’re celebrities” card, everybody is on the same flight. Way to waste our time Phil.
So with a mad dash to the marked cars, we head out onto the highway. After some astute comments about how it hasn’t been that long since a war was fought in Kuwait, we see the Kuwait towers. The teams take a number. That is such a cool twist. Way to keep the game of TAR fresh.
So the teams get the clue and there is the possibility to Fast Forward to the pitstop (one of only two Fast Forwards in the entire game). To get the Fast Forward, the team must walk towards a flaming oil well and get the clue from the clue box. There is also the Roadblock clue. One person from each team must complete the task of climbing a curved ladder, get puzzle pieces, and assemble the puzzle pieces to form the name of a street where they must go.
Erwin and Godwin show how strong their alliance is with Dave and Mary by bluffing to keep the beauty queens from going for the Fast Forward so that Dave and Mary could.
So the rest of the teams start their climb. Of note, it seems to be a great strategy to have Sarah do another climbing challenge. Where is Peter in this game? Oh yeah, yelling at Sarah.
So the players climb the dome and start assembling their puzzles.
That is when we cut to Dave and Mary approaching the burning oil well. After donning their protective gear, they approach the flame. Dave laments about how he always wanted to be a firefighter, just like every other little boy growing up, eh? They get the clue and are allowed to continue to the pitstop.
The ex-druggies finish their puzzle first and get someone to translate it. They will be able to drive to a street and check out a bead shop. Peter and Sarah finish their puzzle second. Rob and Kimberly finish the puzzle third. Lyn and Karlyn finish, as well. Shortly after, the beauty queens finish. And in last, Erwin and Godwin finish their puzzle. All the teams are back out onto the road.
Peter and Sarah seem to be turning themselves around. Erwin and Godwin are making up time with a police escort. Tyler and James got the clue first only to discover that it is a detour. The first choice is to fill ten big bags of animal feed and move them a certain distance. The second choice is camel racing with a robotic jockey to whip the camel to get it to go. The robot is voice activated.
Well, we return to Dave and Mary trying to find the pitstop. Well, they found it and are told that they are the first team to arrive. Yay for them. What do they win, Phil? The answer is a trip for two to Jamaica. Plaster the name Travelocity all over the screen and you have a sponsor. So after thanking Erwin and Godwin, we return to the other teams looking for their clue.
The beauty queens seem to be having difficulty finding the bead shop. Peter and Sarah try to be conniving but Erwin and Godwin could see that they had the clue. After a quick commercial break, it looked like the beauty queens were in trouble, but they, too, find their clues. Lyn and Karlyn get their clue, too but they are currently in last.
Erwin and Godwin recruit their police escort friend to find the locations of the detour. Well, unfortunately he doesn’t know and can’t help them anymore. The other teams ask directions to all kinds of people – people who are driving, people who are standing around, and people who just don’t care.
So, most of the teams are going for the task of filling the feed bags. This, of course, leads to all sorts of arguments and frustration. This can only lead to healthy relationships, eh? Tyler and James seem to be the only team going to the camel racing. Peter and Sarah and Lyn and Karlyn seem hopelessly lost.
Rob and Kimberly finish their task and are allowed to drive to the pitstop. Phil introduces us to the location (because we have super sort attention spans and completely forgot about Dave and Mary getting there first). The beauty queens finish next.
Lyn and Karlyn do make it to the camel races, so they seem to be in better shape now. So just before the commercial break, we see Peter exclaiming that he thinks he found one of the arrows used for the game. We also see Tyler and James lamenting about how they suck and driving in circles isn’t going to get you anywhere.
Ha, ha! Peter and Sarah did make it to a place in the game. It’s too bad that it was the Fast Forward which Dave and Mary already won. Peter and Sarah are so screwed.
Erwin and Godwin finish their task and are free to go to the pitstop. Lyn and Karlyn yell, “Go camel go!” Well the camel sure did go and the two women get their clue.
Peter and Sarah keep shooting themselves by returning to the Roadblock to ask directions. (Probably something they should’ve done the first time.) Peter shows his disappointment to Sarah and how she totally missed the fact that the place was right on the map written out.
Tyler and James make it to the camel race and quickly get their clue. (Peter and Sarah are in such big trouble.) Teams start checking in to the pitstop. The beauty queens are the second team. Rob and Kimberly come in third. Lyn and Karlyn are the fourth team. Erwin and Godwin, even after putting themselves in potential trouble, came in fifth place. Tyler and James made it to the pitstop. That leaves only Peter and Sarah and the question of whether or not this will be another non-elimination round or if it was actually worth watching this episode. To my relief, this is not another non-elimination round and the game is over for Peter and Sarah. That leaves them time to work out any issues that arose from the race.
Three is the perfect number.
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