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"Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Beers"
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Jims02 7328 desperate attention whore postings
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08-06-03, 10:50 PM (EST)
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"Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Beers"
No, I'm not realitybites, but I did have a good time writing it, so enjoy!

Last week on Beg, Borrow, and Deal

-Doug got whupped at boxing.
-The two teams switched team members, surprising the entire universe.
-Annmarie cried about Kerri being on her team
-Charles ate hot dogs and then went to a strip club
-Annmarie cried again because of the strip club
-Team Exodus got shot down by the Bengals, one of the worst NFL teams of all time. Wow.

This episode begins with Team Greg. They are at River Downs in Cincinnati, where the last horse race of the day is in effect. If they don’t hurry, they may not be able to get their picture taken with the winning horse! OH NO! Well... they started running last week, and they finally made it in time. Hey, it took them 7 days, but I knew they could do it.

Anyway, they convince Tobey MacGuire to let them have a picture in the Winners Circle, with his faithful steed Seabiscuit (now playing at a theater near you). Unfortunately, the horse is angrier than an Annmarie at a strip bar, but we'll get to that later. Greg says he’s worried about the horse living up to its name, and kicking his biscuits (ifyaknowwhatimean). They get the pic taken, and score 1 point. Greg: 7, Charles: 5.

They get a car and a place to stay for the evening. Greg, in a confessional, is "looking forward to getting another task done" tomorrow. This forecast is followed by a bolt of lightning. If you didn't notice that foreshadowing, you need to go back to remedial English. Permanently.

Meanwhile, Annmarie’s crying again about the strip club. No, I’m sorry. She was "pouting," to use her terminology. Let me consult the dictionary...

pout: /’paut/ n, pl pout or pouts. A fish with a large head.

...Yep. Annmarie was right. Why do I use the word "cry?"

So eventually, they get a ride to Toledo, and then they get another ride to Chicago, through one of Charles’ contacts. The miracle worker finds them a place to stay as well. That means… *cue Summer* Team Charles will enjoy Run of the House, with Charles’ best friend and second mom, Sandy.

By the way, Beg Borrow and Deal is brought to you by Miller Light, Suburu, and McDonalds, in case you were wondering/confused/sleepy/dead/vegetable/a rock/Sammy Sosa

After the commercial break, we find America's Second Mom, Sandy, making pancakes for Charles' Team, er… I mean, Team Cake, er... I mean Team Kack. Well, whatever they’re called, they decide to go to Marquette, hoping to get another task done. By the way, Sandy's brother gave them a car, which shockingly is NOT a Suburu.

Thanks to our federal highway system, Team Charles has to pay a toll. Kerri makes up some lie about losing luggage, but it was Annmarie's luscious winking that got them through! Ha! Stick it to the man!

Still in Indianapolis, Team Greg goes to Conseco Fieldhouse, where the NBA Pacers and WNBA Fever practice. They talk to the PR guy, but get nowhere. You see, the Pacers didn’t make the playoffs, so they like to take it out on teams on an adventure race around the country. And this was their lucky day! As opposed to the unlucky day Team Greg's having. They see Isaiah Thomas, and ask him for help on a task. Unfortunately, Isaiah couldn't spend 10 minutes timing a 20 second task, so Team Greg is still stuck.

Oh, did I mention that Beg, Borrow, and Deal is brought to you by Miller Light, Suburu, and McDonalds?

Anyhoo, in sunny, friendly Wisconsin, Team Charles is trying to set up a photo shoot with a piece of a Final Four net. They found a woman from the athletic department who was willing to help them. And a guy named Bill (who happens to look like a certain Mole from another reality show) who brings them a string. That's right. A string. After numerous DNA and authenticity tests, ESPN lets em slide. Hey, Team Charles is losing so far, and this makes better television. But who cares? I’m the only one who stayed up this late to watch.

The lady calls up Scott Merritt. *cue Summer again* In almost a split second, Scott enters the room, and Team Charles gets back in the running. Greg: 7, Charles: 6

They call Team Greg, and Greg gets mad. I mean, that’s HIS neighborhood. They’re supposed to turn away everyone not named Greg, and then beat them with good Wisconsin cheese.

The bad news keeps on coming. The Indianapolis Fever is practicing, so they'll have to wait a few more hours. Stacey’s losing her mind. She calls her team dumb, and that they're ignoring her. Look, Stacey, you voted out Kerri. Greg and Doug has to ignore someone or they'll lose THEIR minds. After Kerri, comes Stacey. Eric... Well, he's used to being ignored. Enjoy that moment in my summary, Eric, because I’m not sure if you’re in the rest. (?)

Finally, they enter the stadium, which is coincidentally sponsored by Miller Light. They get Natalie Williams to play against Greg. The one-on-one game starts, and Greg is doing pretty well. He continually stays ahead until the score is 6-5. Natalie scores a point, and it’s all tied up. Greg takes his first shot. Misses. Natalie recovers, but Greg steals. Greg takes another shot, but chokes again. Finally, Natalie brings it home, and wins the game. HA! Greg got beat by a girl! A girl who’s 6 ft tall and plays basketball professionally. I’m sure Stacey would call this game "empowering" if she wasn’t so ticked off at everything. She says that she's stuck with a bunch of guys who like to hear themselves talk. *cue guys talking*

You know, one of the fringe benefits of the show is seeing a Miller Light commercial during each break. Ahhh... Great taste, but less filling. I know it's true, even though I don't drink. The way I look at it, Miller Light is performing a public service by airing those commercials.

Team Charles goes to DA BEARS, who can't help them.
Then they drive to Wrigley Field, who won't help them.

Charles goes to park the car. Kerri and Kristin trade insults for awhile, which is a shame, because if the camera stayed with Charles, we'd get to see:

Sign: "IF YOU PARK YOUR CAR HERE, IT WILL GET BOOTED"
Charles: "Hmmmm… That must be secret code or something. Besides, this car needs a little booty in it"

Surprise. The car got booted.

So Charles tells the group that the car got booted. Charles also tells the group that he is suing the City of Chicago for entrapment. Unfortunately, Charles wouldn't be able to handle the money even if he won the suit. Instead, they go to a bar (the home of Miller Light) and the bar agrees to pay the $100 to unboot the boot which was booted during the booting of the bootable car. Boot. So, Team Charles parties, and Miller Lights are ordered all around.

Team Greg gets to Chicago. Eric’s "friend" can't give them Run Of The House because his "girlfriend" wants to "sleep." So, they stay with one of Doug's friends. Whoops. How did Eric get back in my summary? *chases him away*

Another commercial break. This time with Pamela Anderson in the Miller Light commercial.

Well, the show comes back on, and we get to listen to Stacey. She's getting tired of Doug cuddling with her, and being so darn optimistic all the time. The guy sounds like a self help guru. Seriously. Who uses the word "serendipitous," today? No. Besides the British, I mean.

Anyway, Stacey also feels that Doug’s trying to monopolize her (Eric’s words, not mine). I guess that hotel on Park Place isn’t enough for Doug, eh?

The two teams finally meet up at the Bulls' training facility where they meet our enigmatic Summer, and Jason Williams. Summer informs them that they will be competing for use of a Suburu and a meal at McDonalds. Gasp. I can't believe it. I want to go to sleep.

Round 1: Free Throws

Naturally, it's Charles from Team Charles vs. Greg from Team Greg. Although I'm sure Stacey volunteered. They probably ignored her too. It's not called Team Stacey. Maybe next episode though.

By the way, there was a competition going on, and Team Greg won. YAY!

(It’s past midnight, and I'm too tired to root for anyone in particular)

Round 2: Pig

We learned 5 things from this competition:
1. Kerri, Kristin, and Annmarie need to go to the gym, pronto, and shoot some hoops.
2. White men can't jump (eh Doug?)
3. Charles had no shot (pun intended) at beating his WNBA All Star, cuz he couldn't even outshoot Stacey.
4. The men acknowledges Stacey’s existence, only when she gets them a car.
5. Team Greg has a new car, er... I mean a Suburu to drive.

But all is not lost. Charles, who knows EVERYONE, was a big brother to Jason Williams in college, and Jay Will hooks them up with a limo. Should've sent them to McDonalds too, just to spite Team Greg, IMO.

Meanwhile, the Greg Bunch visits DA BEARS! They can't help em either, but Team Greg is persistant. They magically whip out Chandler's number (which was found earlier, through massive research, I believe), and Chandler agrees to help them. First, though, the team has to go to McDonalds, for further product placement.

So, Chandler and Team Greg arrives at the practice facility, and they practice catching footballs, hoping that they can each catch a 35-yard pass. Stacey is having trouble. The girl can’t catch anything. She's the Michael Westbrook of Team Greg (Redskins humor for ya).

Team Greg decides to let Stacey attempt to catch the ball first. The first 2 throws are way off the mark, but she gets a hand on the third throw. Unfortunately, she bobbles it and it drops to the ground. Greg throws down the red flag and asks for a review.

After further review...

Luckily, the ball did cross the plane, so Stacey technically scored a touchdown.

*audience cheers*

Unfortunately, she clearly didn't have possession of the ball.

*audience boos, and throws millions of bottles onto the field*

So, Team Greg, facing 4th and 10, has to punt, and try again next week.

...Or will they? Only time can tell. Or maybe Greg, Annmarie, and Kristin. *cue ominous music*

Next Week on Beg, Borrow, and Deal

-In a shocking and original twist, Team Exodus goes to Milwaukee.
-Team Cake needs to get on a train and begs for $$$
-Team Exodus gets stuck at a toll booth, because Stacey won’t wink at the collector.
-Team Cake steals Team Exodus’ man (Chandler)


Too many sports puns...

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Be... Jims02 08-06-03 1
   RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Be... pujols4mvpin03 08-07-03 2
   RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Be... NYGirl 08-07-03 5
       RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Be... Jims02 08-07-03 6
       RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Be... pujols4mvpin03 08-07-03 8
           RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Be... gscott 08-07-03 9
   RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Be... gscott 08-07-03 10
       RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Be... NYGirl 08-07-03 11
 The understudy does good realitybites 08-07-03 3
   The understudy does *well* Jims02 08-07-03 4
 RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Be... garyloveserica 08-07-03 7
   Hi, gary! AyaK 08-07-03 12
       RE: Hi, gary! Jims02 08-07-03 13
           Oops! AyaK 08-07-03 14
               RE: Oops! Jims02 08-07-03 15
 RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Be... Wheezy 08-08-03 16

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Jims02 7328 desperate attention whore postings
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08-06-03, 10:56 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Beers"
Notes:

To Greg, Kristin, and Annmarie, I just wanted to note that I don't really hate you guys or think you're all dorks or something. Most summaries are written like that one. I just like to tease and exaggerate, to make it more enjoyable.

I'm too lazy to post in those 3 questions threads, so...

Greg, what was it like playing a WNBA player? She was tough, but you seemed to handle her well!

Annmarie, how did you feel about the head-to-head competition with Team Exodus beforehand? Were you guys all pumped up, or feeling down? Three girls is kinda an athletic disadvantage...

Kristin, sorry you weren't in my summary too much, but I have to ask. What is your relationship like with Kerri now? You seem to be pretty cool together sometimes (tollbooth), but fighting other times (Wrigley)


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08-07-03, 01:06 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Beers"
great summary jims i watched the 1st season a lot, but haven't been able to watch this season a lot maybe because of all the time changes, i don't even know what time its on half the time . great summaries from you, and realitybites. keep it up.
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NYGirl 21 desperate attention whore postings
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08-07-03, 12:09 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Beers"
Yes, your summary was rather entertaining...
even tho you thoughtfully took jabs at my expense. I feel so attended to! But onward...

It's funny you should ask me that question b/c it wasn't until I saw the show on Tuesday that I realized the thought of them having 3 guys on thier team vs our 1, never crossed my mind! And yes, I do suck at basketball, to confirm. But you did miss a portion of the game that Exodus lost though - it was a trivia game where Eric and Kerri had to answer various questions about thier new teams, which meant that Eric/Kerri had to have been paying attention to what we were doing before they crossed over. Kerri was victorious...Eric, well, let's just say, he didn't even know what our tattoos represented or where we were from! So it's not like it was a sweep against us...team KACK


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Jims02 7328 desperate attention whore postings
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08-07-03, 01:03 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Beers"
Thanks for answering, Annmarie. I just like to tease, and poke fun at the situation. I'm glad you didn't take any of it personally.

I wonder why they didn't show the trivia contest?


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08-07-03, 04:11 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Beers"
is this the real person from the show? also how many other people from the show are on here?
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08-07-03, 05:05 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Beers"
Kristin, Anne Marie and Greg are the BBD2 monkeys that have lured themselves into this web site.
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08-07-03, 05:15 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Beers"
Ahh, the WNBA - what can I say...I worked my ass off and came up short.

What made the task more difficult was the fact that we had been sleeping on floors for 8 nights, and were cramed in cars for 4-8 hours a day. My muscles said to me before the match, "Greg, you can hang out, but screw this - we're leaving."

Natalie is a big, strong girl who plays best with her back to the basket. I'm a strong guy, but am primarily a jump shooter. It's not easy to shoot with a grapefruit (women's ball). Having trouble shooting, I had to put my head down and drive. I got her to the left once, and to the right once. After I beat her for two points, she would no longer let me by. It was a really physical match. A lot of banging from both of us...but it was fair.

I thought I had her beat...should've taken a jump shot to close it out instead of a weak driving runner in the paint.

I was upset...and I had time to think about it during the 4 hour car ride to Chicago. RATS!

greg

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08-07-03, 05:41 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Beers"
Well Greg, you might not have gotten that task, but more importantly, you looked hot trying! Isn't that the most important thing? Nah, seriously, you and Charles gave it your best shot. In both respects, they were superhuman chicks! And in all fairness, you guys couldn't push up on them like you would with guys...you are still sweet, respectible guys when it comes down to it. Plus, WNBA chicks got something to prove. How would it look if they just handed the win to you guys? We didn't think about it until after. But at least BBD3 members will know not to attempt that task...oh, and one more..but i'll wait until the end of the game to mention it.
Have a serendipitous day
Am
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08-07-03, 01:41 AM (EST)
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3. "The understudy does good"
Nice job, Jim. I'm sure you'll do well in your writing competition.
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08-07-03, 09:48 AM (EST)
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4. "The understudy does *well*"


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08-07-03, 03:08 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Beers"
Hi,

that's a terrific recap, very well done and funny! I write the recaps for Reality News Online and we definately agree on many things! I've included my recap below as a comparison...I wish the show was moved back to 9pm!! Keep up the great work.

As this week begins, the score stands at TEAM EXODUS 6 TEAM CAKE 5. Last week came the big twist in the game where each team eliminated a member, who in turn ended up on the opposing team. Overall, this has not been the disaster I feared (ala Big Brother 4’s X Factor debacle), but was still totally unnecessary to the game. Before I begin the recap, I want to mention ESPN’s misguided shifting of BBD2 from 9pm to the 12AM graveyard shift. In it’s place we now get two whole hours of the children’s hit “The World Series of Poker.” I understand that the rating for BBD2 may not have been great, but giving up on the show right when it hits it’s midway point makes no sense. Considering the huge bucks ESPN pays for it’s whopping .5 NHL ratings, I find it sad they can’t give one lousy prime hour to one of it’s few original produced shows. I close my venting by reminding readers that this show is repeated, and please try to watch and maybe even write ESPN showing support for the show. I hope to be doing my part by recapping it and thank Reality News Online for the coverage. Without further delay, we begin the recap.

TEAM EXODUS –Cincinnati, Ohio – The team is at the River Downs Racetrack with Greg rehashing how they came to the track hoping to get a picture taken with a horse in winners circle. They now must get to the winner’s circle before the final race ends and the winner comes and goes. They are seen running through the track with the friendly PR guy sprinting along. Luckily, they make it in time to see a horse named Mr. Cody cross the finish line first. In a rare moment of coherence, Eric says that maybe the owners or jockey won’t want to share the spotlight with them. Luckily nobody has a problem sharing the awesome spotlight which one gets from winning a race in a tiny out of the way racetrack. It turns out Mr. Cody is the most reluctant to share the glory, and even attempts a shot at Greg’s groin. In the end, the horse calms down long enough to allow a group photo and Team Exodus has another task completed. With the task done, they Subaru it out to Indianapolis, Indiana where a friend of Eric’s name Gabriel lives. Once there they decide that due to the one favor rule per person, they would be better off using Gabriel to drive them around the next day. With this decision, they now have to find a place to stay, so Gabriel walks them over to his neighbor who it turns out he does not even know. At first leery, the neighbor ends up being really cool after hearing their plight and lets them stay. They relax by shooting pool and Doug reiterates that his faith in humanity has been restored with all the acts of kindness he has experienced from strangers.

The score now stands at TEAM EXODUS 7 TEAM CAKE 5

TEAM CAKE – Cleveland Ohio – The team is still in the Strip Club and Annmarie is still griping while Charles is still kicking back and enjoying a little show. With great nobility, Annmarie exclaims that she decided not to hold a grudge against Charles for behaving like 95 percent of straight guys would. It’s really a lucky thing, since the team would be hard pressed to replace her 3-5% overall contribution. According to Kristin, they were still in the club when they heard that Team Exodus had completed a 7th task and that totally destroyed the mood. I guess then only Annmarie did not feel the mood. Troy, the club manager, finally drives them to Toledo Ohio where Charles’ friend Donnie lives. Donnie agrees to drive them to Chicago where you guessed it, another friend of Charles’ lives. If you are seeing a pattern here then you are allowed to add a tenth of a point to your IQ. While driving, it begins to pour and visibility is greatly diminished. Despite the downpour, they make it to Charles’ friend Sandy’s house. Now, Sandy has one awesome house and she is also a terrific host. She welcomes the team with open arms and insists they eat a good dinner despite the late hour. She even gives Charles and his squeeze Kerri a goodnight hug in the bed they are sharing. I refuse to speculate, lets just assume the huge, spacious house did not have enough beds for all to sleep alone.


TEAM CAKE – Chicago, Illinois – They awake to Sandy the new house mom making them a breakfast of bacon, eggs and pancakes. I have to say that Sandy has been a Godsend for the team’s morale, as both Kristen and Annmarie seem reinvigorated by her motherly attentions. Charles must be a really cool guy to have so many devoted friends. They decide to head over to Milwaukee to try to complete the task of getting a picture taken alongside a starting player or head coach with one of the nets cut down by any of the 4 teams that went to the 2003 NCAA Final Four. Bob, Sandy’s stepbrother, gives them the keys to his car to make the trip. They are going to Marquette University, which was one of the final four teams last year. Along the way they come to a tollbooth and give the clerk the old coming from the airport and have no money routine. Once again it works like Cake (clever but obvious pun intended.) This is repeated probably a few more times all ending in success.

TEAM EXODUS - Indianapolis, Indiana - They awake in the neighbor’s really hip house and feel very rested. Being in Indiana, the state in which the great movie Hoosiers took place, it is only natural that they should try to complete a basketball related task. Eric’s friend drives them to Conseco Fieldhouse, home of the NBA and WNBA teams, in of all things Lebron James’ old hummer! Actually I may be exaggerating for dramatic affect. They then have the front desk person contact PR and are told to wait. Well, while waiting, it appears they may have struck it lucky as Pacers head coach Isaiah Thomas happens to walk by. They explain their plight to NBA legend and he is really sympathetic, but alas no players are in town and he can only wish them good luck. They continue to wait. David Benner, an Indiana Pacer public relations person, finally comes out to greet them. It turns out that the Pacers, having been just eliminated from the playoffs, are not in the best of moods and not likely to help them with any task. They next turn to the WNBA Fever (Yikes I hate that name!) and David says they are practicing at this very moment. He heads over to the court to see if he can set up a one on one game between a team member and a WNBA All Star player. David returns with the Fever PR guy Kevin Messenger who tells the team to wait for a few hours and he may be able to set up the game.

TEAM CAKE – Milwaukee, Wisconsin – The team has arrived at Marquette University hoping to complete the Final Four net related task. They go to the sports information office and meet with Barb Kellerher who works for the Men’s basketball team. They explain to Barb what they need and it turns out that the net is located in the head coach’s office and said head coach is not available. Charles laments that they may have driven all the way to Milwaukee in lousy weather to accomplish absolutely nothing. Barb turns out to be really nice (I wish Doug was here to get his faith in humanity even more restored) and keeps plugging away for them. She contacts Bill Cord, an assistant coach, who agrees to look for a piece of the net. She then calls a starting player, Scot Merritt, who agrees to come by and have his picture taken with the team. They all erupt into cheers, which get even louder when Bill returns with a strand of the famous net. Scott arrives to a “Yo my man, what’s up?” from Kerri who despite being the daughter of wealthy DJ Casey Kasem still grew up in da hood. At least I hope she did since I cannot find it in my heart to believe she could be patronizing. Anyway, Scott poses for the picture and Team Cake now has closed the gap to one. Kristen calls Team Exodus to inform them and lo and behold Eric picks up the phone. Kristen fakes a gag and announces their triumph. Greg is visibly shaken by the news since he lives only a few blocks from Marquette and felt that was going to be a task they would complete themselves in the near future.

The score now stands at TEAM EXODUS 7 TEAM CAKE 6

TEAM EXODUS - Indianapolis, Indiana - After getting the startling news from Team Cake, Exodus continues to wait for word from the PR guy for the WNBA Flu, I mean Fever. After a long wait, the PR guy Kevin returns and says that things do not look good. For reasons known only to herself, Stacey then takes center stage and begins a two-minute soliloquy of beautiful whining topped off with a whopper of a slur directed under her breath at her teammates for being dumb. Ok, quick, tell me one task in which Stacey was essential to completing? As you contemplate this question without an answer, I shall return to the recap. Kevin returns again with better news this time, the task is on. He leads the team onto the court where All Star Natalie Williams agrees to take on Greg. Natalie’s decision is influenced by Head Coach Nell Fortner giving her a “Bang” for doing it. Now stop, it is not what your dirty little mind is thinking! A bang in WNBA terms is an exemption from doing sprints if the coach so orders. You may recall that Charles’ attempt to complete this task came up short against the Washington Mystic’s Chamiqua Holdskaw. Well Greg and Natalie end up having a titanic battle. They literally trade baskets to both reach 5 pts. Greg then hits a basket to go up 6-5. He now needs only one more point for victory. Natalie scores to tie it up and Greg realizes he must score on his next possession. He drives and tries a small jumper that bounces off the front of the rim. Natalie can now win, but Greg strips the ball from her and has another shot at ending it. This time his shot barely hits the rim. There will be no other chances as Natalie does a finger roll to close things out 7-6. Needless to say, Greg has given it an awesome shot and has nothing to be ashamed of. Not surprisingly the team is crestfallen at wasting over 4 hours with nothing to show for it. Once again Stacey begins complaining. This time her rant is about being the only girl on a team in which all the guys like to hear themselves talk. This girl is really something. She has literally been along for the ride, and she can only rant and rave about the unfairness of it all. I bet Kerri looks good right now. In fact comparing the contributions of Kerri to Stacey is like comparing Big Brother 2 to Big Brother 4 and let me tell I cancelled my live feeds this year. Me thinks Stacey realized how useless she has been and figures the best defense is a good offense or in her case offensive personality.

TEAM CAKE - Lake Forrest, Illinois – After triumphantly leaving Marquette University, the team drives an hour to the Chicago Bear training facility in Lake Forrest, Illinois. They hope to complete the task involving catching a 35-yard pass from a former Hall of Fame or All Pro NFL Quarterback. They are met by a guard in a booth who I only bring up because I want to venture a guess that the cameraman would have had a wonderful “Plumber’s Ass” type shot had he waited for guy to turn around. Kristen gets on the phone with the Bears’ PR guy Scott Hagel to explain their desires. Scott actually comes out to meet them, but it turns out no Quarterbacks are in camp today. They leave after promising to call him the next day, and head into Chicago with a destination of Wrigley Field, home of the Chicago Cubs.

TEAM CAKE - Chicago, Illinois – On the way to Wrigley Field, the team calls the Chicago Cubs PR office and is met with complete resistance. Despite this, they still decide to head to the stadium where they find the mood no less chilled. Their hopes of leading the crowd in “Take me out to the Ballgame” during that seventh inning stretch are dashed without even meeting with a single PR Person. It is here that some cracks in the new team begin to show. Once again Kerri is singled out by teammates for having a big mouth. All three girls argue over how stupid it was to come out to the stadium after getting the initial bad vibes from the PR office. The bad moods are increased tenfold when Charles returns from trying to get the car, and informs them that it was been locked by the cops. It will cost the penniless team 100 bucks to get it unlocked. Once again Charles saves the day by leading them to a nearby bar, Hi Tops, where the manager agrees to pay for getting the Car unlocked. They are welcomed into the bar, fed and given beverages and even find a patron who will let them spend the night at her place. The night ends with a free cab ride to her house. All in all, a very happy ending to what begin as anything but happy.

TEAM EXODUS - Chicago, Illinois – The team arrives in Chicago and ask a friend of Eric’s named Clay if they can crash at his place. Well, Doug’s restored faith in humanity takes a hit, as Clay pretty much says no. It turns out his girlfriend is tired and has to get up early, and he can’t agree since it is not just his place. Eric then calls the girlfriend, who turns out to be as big a humanitarian as her guy. She refuses and pretty much leaves the team out of the curb with nowhere to go. Great couple, bet their future kids will grow up just fine with charity in their hearts. My guess is this guy Clay will feel like a real schmuck when he sees how much Sandy and even some unknown neighbor have done, while he comes across as a whipped puppy. Not to be defeated, Doug then calls a friend of his in Deerfield, Illinois, who unlike Clay, agrees to let them stay at his place. Greg then calls his brother’s girlfriend, who agrees to drive them to Deerfield. Now do you notice who has not even attempted to contribute here? Cough Stacey. Cough. Cough. The team is preparing for the next day (Day 10) head to head competition with Team Cake in Chicago.

TEAM CAKE - Chicago, Illinois – The team awakens on the day of the head to head challenge with Kerri showing some nerves about having to face her former teammates. She sums up their chances in a head to head physical challenge with the following Yogism “They will definitely probably beat us.” After some fine grooming with their host’s make-up, the girls feel like girls again and all is well with the world.

TEAM EXODUS - Deerfield, Illinois – They awake, and Greg explains how there is a growing tension between happy go lucky Doug and seriously bitchy Stacey. Actually, in Stacey’s defense, Doug does seem to feel that they have a much warmer relationship they Stacey believes. He always tries to cuddle up with her and is making her uncomfortable. In fact, Doug is seriously pressing it a bit, and Greg correctly points out that this can’t go on if Stacey finds it offensive. They will have to get things out in the open. My guess is that Doug will be shocked, as his good-natured behavior usually is met with the same, but not this time. Regardless, he should keep his hands off Stacey. Someone smack his nose with a rolled up newspaper.

Both Teams – Chicago Illinois – Bulls Training Facility – Summer Sanders meets both teams on center court to fill them in on the head to head battle to come. Helping her out is the ill-fated Chicago Bull Point Guard Jay Williams. For those of you who don’t know, Jay was later badly injured in a Motorcycle accident. His leg was almost amputated, and his career is now in doubt. I just want to take this moment to wish him all the best, as he comes across as a really nice guy who deserves our best wishes for a complete recovery. The first competition is a free throw shooting contest between WNBA victims Greg and Charles, with the winner being the one who sinks ten first. Not surprisingly, they have a great battle with Greg winning 10-9. Next both teams play a game of PIG with Jay. PIG is pretty much HORSE shortened to three misses. Stacey makes her first real contribution by sinking some nice shots and making it to the final four with Jay, Greg and Charles. She then eliminates Charles by sinking a mid range jumper and ends up winning the whole thing. I must give credit where credit is due and give a big shout out to Stacey for a great effort. By winning the head to head, Team Exodus gets use of a Subaru and a meal at McDonalds. Team Cake is understandably shocked by their defeat at the hands of Stacey and now are in need of a ride back to Wrigley Field. Amazingly, Jay Williams turns out to be a childhood friend of Charles and gets them a huge limo for the ride back. In a bit of terrible foreshadowing, Jay is seen on a motorcycle talking to Charles and admitting he is not supposed to ride the Bike. His contract actually stipulated that he could not ride motorbikes, but in a great gesture, the Bull agreed to honor his contract after the horrific accident. No mention is made yet of that accident, but I will not be surprised if we are told of it in a later episode. Anyway, the team Limos back to Wrigley.

TEAM EXODUS – Lake Forrest, Illinois – The team returns to the Chicago Bears training facility where they struck out yesterday in trying to hook up with a Quarterback. Once again Scott Hagel, the PR guy, tells them not much is going on. They decide to take matters into their own hands and ask Scott for a phone to call Bear Quarterback and former Pro Bowler Chris Chandler. Stacey (who has gone from one extreme to another on this show) gets Chris on the phone and explains what they need. Chris agrees to meet them in an hour to complete the task. They then jet to McDonalds for their free meal. Once back at the practice facility, Chris arrives with his two little girls. They all head into an indoor practice arena and warm up. Right off the bat Stacey is having trouble catching footballs. The team coaches her on how to do it and she begins to improve. Once the read deal begins they make what could be a strategic error by allowing Stacey to go first. To reiterate, each team member gets three shots at catching a 35-yard pass and if one misses all three, the task is not completed. So the pressure is on for Stacey. The first pass from Chris bounces off her fingertips. The second pass goes through her hands. The third and final pass, in slow motion, is a near catch, which a split second later falls to the ground incomplete. Stacey is heartbroken and Doug tries to cheer her up. Chris is also upset and readily agrees to come back the next morning to try again. This guy is really cool and you can tell he genuinely wants to help the team. I now have a player I will be rooting for this year. The team is significantly cheered up by the news of a morning redo. We will have to wait until next week to see if Stacey can come back.

Next week – Team Exodus makes a Triumphant return to Greg’s hometown of Milwaukee, where quickly loosening up Stacey appears to shake her booty on a bar top. Later on the teams appears to meet the tollbooth clerk from Hell who calls the Troopers on them. Team Cake begs for Train fare and then amazingly shows up at the same Bear training facility trying to complete the 35-yard pass with Chris Chandler. Both teams are now in the same place trying to complete the same task! Should be a really interesting confrontation.

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AyaK 10083 desperate attention whore postings
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08-07-03, 06:17 PM (EST)
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12. "Hi, gary!"
Welcome to Reality TV World!

I'm shocked, shocked, though, that neither of you summarizers mentioned that Chris Chandler is the brother-in-law of For Love Or Money star Erin Brodie.

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08-07-03, 07:33 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Hi, gary!"
Who watches For Love Or Money anyway?

AyaK, I'm still waiting for showers of praise on my new summary. I'm waiting...


My DAW count's gonna double at this rate!

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AyaK 10083 desperate attention whore postings
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08-07-03, 08:32 PM (EST)
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14. "Oops!"
LAST EDITED ON 08-07-03 AT 08:33 PM (EST)

Sorry, Jims02, I was sure that I'd replied to this right after reading it yesterday. Guess not, eh? Anyway, you did a great job, but I have one comment(!!). Since you never used Chris Chandler's first name, I thought you were going to make a joke that it was Chandler from 'Friends'....

Some of the best stuff:

Unfortunately, the horse is angrier than an Annmarie at a strip bar ***
Greg, in a confessional, is "looking forward to getting another task done" tomorrow. This forecast is followed by a bolt of lightning. If you didn't notice that foreshadowing, you need to go back to remedial English. Permanently. ***
pout: /’paut/ n, pl pout or pouts. A fish with a large head. ***
By the way, Beg Borrow and Deal is brought to you by Miller Light, Suburu, and McDonalds, in case you were wondering/confused/sleepy/dead/vegetable/a rock/Sammy Sosa ***
Thanks to our federal highway system, Team Charles has to pay a toll. ***
You see, the Pacers didn’t make the playoffs, so they like to take it out on teams on an adventure race around the country. ***
Enjoy that moment in my summary, Eric, because I’m not sure if you’re in the rest. (?) ***
I’m sure Stacey would call this game "empowering" if she wasn’t so ticked off at everything. ***
Sign: "IF YOU PARK YOUR CAR HERE, IT WILL GET BOOTED"
Charles: "Hmmmm… That must be secret code or something. Besides, this car needs a little booty in it" ***
Instead, they go to a bar (the home of Miller Light) ***
Whoops. How did Eric get back in my summary? *chases him away* ***
Summer informs them that they will be competing for use of a Suburu and a meal at McDonalds. Gasp. I can't believe it. ***
Stacey’s the Michael Westbrook of Team Greg.

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Jims02 7328 desperate attention whore postings
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08-07-03, 10:09 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: Oops!"
LAST EDITED ON 08-07-03 AT 10:10 PM (EST)

Thanks AyaK!

I didn't spend as much time on this one, as I did my Mole Summary (my first), but I like how this one turned out.

EDIT: I couldn't remember what Chandler's first name was. Also, I don't watch Friends... That's Survivor night!!!


Blue Men compliments make my day!

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08-08-03, 10:24 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: Episode 5: Bears, Boots, and Beers"
Hey Jims!

I don't watch this show, but wanted to check out your summary--very entertaining!

The pout/fish line? Best.ever.

Nice writing, kid.

WHEEZY...just give the Dobby his friggin sweater already. Sheesh.

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