It has been a long hot summer as one of the longest seasons (or at least it seems) in The Real World history. This season has been getting really interesting because everyone it getting on each other’s nerves. Svet, Paula, Lady Ty and John are high on my “aggravated list” because they have done some childish stuff lately. Let’s see if it continues.Author’s Note: Life has been very busy over the last couple of weeks and Webby agreed to let me combine the last two episodes into one summary. Thanks everyone for reading and chatting with me during this season. I hope everyone has enjoyed it as much as I have!
Paula Alert: Paula has simmered down over the past couple of weeks and I think a full stomach is to blame. Paula should be ok for a while because she was seen eating a grape with a thimble full of milk…full for the rest of the year!
The episode begins with Svetty all nervous about MarTin coming to visit. MarTin is coming to Key West to celebrate the Slutty ones bitchday…she will be 20 years old. Slutty describes, in great detail, the exact cake she wants…right down to the size of the rose made with chocolate icing.
Note to the bitchday girl: Yo ho bags! Just be glad someone wants to celebrate with you! After all, if I were part of the low life trash that shared the house with you…you would celebrate alone on a raft in the middle of the ocean without a paddle or sunscreen!
Paula has decided, as part of her treatment, that she needs to be honest with her parents and that they need to be in the know about her relationship with Keith. So, she sends her mom and email explaining the situation. Her mom responds with a surprising positive message and handles Paula very maturely and tells her that she will be there for her daughter if she needs her.
Svetty is till very nervous about MarTin meeting her roomies. Lady Ty decides that he is going to go overboard with the “gayness” when he meets MarTin to try and scare him.
Note to Svetty: My little insecure wench, don’t worry about what they think of your boy. You have already taken the cake and icing with your own stupidity and childishness. I can’t wait for someone to put you in your place!
Svetty goes to the airport to pick-up MarTin and brings him back to the house for introductions. Lady Ty becomes the queen of the manor and flames all over MarTin.
Note to Lady Ty: Girlfriend, you do not have to work at being gay! Lady Ty is and will always be out there for all to hear and see.
A very romantic dinner is in order for the couple at a local seafood place. MarTin gets the tab to pay but spoiled rotten brat won’t have any of it! Slutty wants to make sure that MarTin understands that she is far too good to have anyone pay for her meals.
Note to “I’m too good for this”: When someone wants to buy you dinner…LET THEM! It doesn’t matter how low you have to stoop, let them be nice to you and pay for a meal. It is only going to cost you about 45 seconds once you get in bed…not a big deal at all!
Paula goes to her doctor for her last session before leaving Key West. They talk about how she has grown and how much she respects herself now. BRAK BRAK BRAK! We know she isn’t “cured” and has a long way to go. Let’s get on to the good stuff!
Time for Slutty’s bitchday party and the roomies are preparing for Martin to bring her home. The roomies “hide” the good cake and are going to fool Slutty with a “bad” cake. However, the two look very similar to me but Slutty is surprised and happy.
HAPPY BITCHDAY TO THE WENCH!
John is really excited, as Fantasy Fest has arrived. John is responsible for the float the roomies will be riding in the parade. John has a meeting with Ricky going over the plans as everyone prepares.
Lady Ty decides to enter a strip contest at a local gay bar. Lady Ty decides it is time to dress in drag and strip out of a Bob Mackie. Janelle puts on his make-up and he is wearing a wig with the hair teased to Jesus.
All the other roomies decide to go to a toga party and meet up with Lady Ty at the gay bar in time for the contest. John enters some kind of contest at the toga party and wins $250 for showing his ass.
Note to the white ass boy: Dood! I would have given you double that to do a strip tease for me and I would have kept my hands to myself…now my tongue would be another issue all together. 
John is having too much fun to go see Lady Ty so he convinces all the roomies (except Jose) to stay and party. Jose goes to see the strip act…everyone misses the best clip of the entire season.
Lady Ty appears on the stage and starts dancing with some very high leg kicks. HE strips to his undies when he gets too close to the edge of the stage. His left foot catches the lip of the stage and stumbles down a couple of steps on his ass!
Note to Lady Ty: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
John is worried about getting the float ready for the parade. But first, the other roomies are entering a contest at Fat Tuesday. They are all dressed in ‘80’s wear and get up on stage to perform. They do a little dance routine and win 1st place with a check for $1000.
Note to Janelle (Whorelle): My little prostie…you danced so well, I think you should buy a pole and carry it with you everywhere you go. You could make tons of money stripping. You make the perfect whore.
Ricky and John continue working on the float while the others don’t appear to be too excited about helping. The girls bitch and gripe because they are not going to have enough time to put on their costume!
Fantasy Fest arrives and the parade starts without the ladies of the house. Janelle, Svetty, Paula and Lady Ty are STILL working on their costumes. The float gets finished and the ladies finally make the parade just as it starts. For once, John acts very mature and doesn’t make a big deal out of it.
Note to all readers: If I had been in John’s shoes…I would have pulled the bitch outta the bag and let the ladies have it! John worked very hard while the others did NOTHING! I would still be urinated off at all of ‘em.
The next day everyone is packing to go home but they are going to meet Ricky at Mystic Tan first. Ricky tells them that they can split the money that is in the business bank account. Ricky deposited $35,000 so each of them will have $5,000!
The rest of the show is nothing more than them sitting around waiting for their taxi to come pick them up. I am not going to summarize the snoozefest any more than saying the order of departure:
1st: Zach
2nd: Janelle
3rd: Jose
4th: John
5th and 6th: Lady Ty and Svetty
7th: Paula
As the lights fade on season 17 of The Real World, we realize that this group of kids aren’t much different than all those that have come before. However, I will say that the problems they have encountered have changed tremendously over the years. Let’s hope next season brings a totally different set of problems, people and places to the forefront!
OH.THE.DRAMA!
I finally blogged
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