|
|
|
|
PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
|
|
|
"Beau's Farewell Speech"
RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
|
09-10-03, 12:40 PM (EST)
 
  |
|
"Beau's Farewell Speech" |
Note: It’s hard to really slam Beau as he seemed like one of the more mature "Originals" at Paradise Hotel. (AKA: Day Care With Alcohol). However later events have put a whole new spin on that assessment . . .
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Here for your dining and dancing pleasure is… BEAU'S FAREWELL SPEECH Amanda: Beau, it seems like you have been here forever. Is there anything you would like to say? Beau: Yes there is, Amanda. As a matter of fact I have been practicing in front of the mirror all afternoon in the fervent hope that this would look good on my demo reel. (HE TURNS DRAMATICALLY TOWARD THE COUCH TO FACE WHAT LOOKS LIKE THE CAST OF “ANIMAL HOUSE: THE DRUNKEN REVENGE”) Beau (CONTINUED): There is something I want to say to each and every one of you. Some of you I thought were my friends. Some of you (LOOKS DIRECTLY AT KRISTIN) can’t spell “friends”. And someone else (STARES AT ALEX) thought he heard the word “Depends” and has been wiping his as$ on me. This game is supposed to be played with integrity, morals and values. (SLAPS HIS HEAD) Oh, what was I thinking, that’s Russian Roulette, not Paradise Hotel. At least with Russian Roulette everyone knows the freakin’ rules . . . if you’re the last one at the table without powder burns, you win. Here, we’re like lab monkeys. Sorry, Tom. No offense to you or Smokey. (PAUSES) Geez, what was I sayin’?
Beau (AS HE RUNS ALONG THE TRACKS AND PICKS UP HIS TRAIN OF THOUGHT): Oh yeah. Anyhooo… Dave booted me because I was a threat. I know that saying “I was a threat” is the most common Reality Show answer given and Richard Dawson is jumping up and down while hundreds of college kids chug a beer, but that’s all I could think of. My head is really full of important DJ stuff right now.
Beau (RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA AT THIS POINT): In conclusion, the number one weapon that no one can win against is (DRAMATIC PAUSE)… a gun! No, that doesn’t sound right. (SNEAKS A PEEK AT HIS CUE CARDS)No, the number one weapon is the TRUTH. Thank you and goodbye. For.ev.a After hugging anyone who realizes that his speech is over, Beau strides toward the exit and executes a leaping, click-the-heels-in-the-air, “I’m so happy” bit of choreography that was stolen directly from the “Queer Eye For the Straight Guy” playbook. And with his less than macho Broadway musical exit, Beau escapes into the night. But finally, along with the sounds of the chirping crickets and crashing waves, we hear the plaintive call of the drunken Kristin . . . Kristin: Did Beau just diss us?
|
|
Alert |
Edit |
Reply |
Reply With Quote | Top |
| |
 |
RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
|
09-10-03, 02:01 PM (EST)
|
|
2. "RE: Beau's Farewell Speech" |
Thanks. If you're interested, you can collect the whole set.
(Toni, Beau, Kristin, Alex so far)
|
|
Remove |
Alert |
Edit |
Reply |
Reply With Quote | Top |
| |
|
RollDdice 5659 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
|
09-13-03, 03:05 AM (EST)
|
|
3. "jpg test" |
LAST EDITED ON 09-13-03 AT 03:07 AM (EST)This seems like a nice quiet place to test this (unfortunately!) There are no Beau fans out there?
|
|
Remove |
Alert |
Edit |
Reply |
Reply With Quote | Top |
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
CantStandToLook 6254 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
|
09-17-03, 12:15 PM (EST)
|
|
12. "Bo Schmoe" |
Just because it's soo much fun.Beau IS Bo Schmoe.... Bo don't know... It's a reality show......
..........................thats not real ( at least not to him) The Players in the game are:
Beau (Doh!/Bo) - Bo Schmoe
LAmy (Retin-Amy) - The Skank B!tch
Tom (MonkeyBoy) - The Follower
Scott (Scarlett) - Amibiguously Gay Dude
Holly (Gollie) - The spoild brat
Charla (MalibuBarbie) - The Virgin (ok so it's a stretch)
Tara (BeachBlanketBarbie) - The Real Virgin (all the HO'ing is just an act)
Keith (Ken) - The Hero
Dave (CrunchNMunch) - Ken's less attractive but smart and rich friend with a car Previously on Bo Schmoe..
Bo dont know...it's a reality show that's not real. We recap our zeroes history on the show so far. Our Schmoe showed up in paradise (actually it was a run down villa that they said we could use if we paid for all the repairs) with just a hope and a dream. To get laid and win the Ultimate CrackerJacker Prize. If you look really close, that's not an arch they walk through in the walk of shame but rather a hole we cut in the box. To spice things up for our Schmoe, we had A Man...........da come onto him and set us up for the married couple storyline. This was a tough one for our actors to keep up because Amanda couldn't remember her lines or the faces of the other actors and kept kissing the wrong guys. Luckliy, she wasn't the only one having this problem and our Schmoe was none the wiser. To keep our Schmoe occupied and busy with friends, we threw in a ZackA$$ but he kept hamming it up for the cameras so we had to toss him. We also though a Foni would go along way towards peacking viewer interest and giving Bo Schmoe subtle clues that he was being let on but apparently he's used to be yelled at and told not to pee in his diapers again. After totally convincing our Schmoe that these actors were really his friends, we thought we have a little fun with him and have them start stabbing him in the back. This should make for great TV, but alas our Schmoe was even dumber than we thought and couldn't see the forest for the tree he was swinging from. Since it was painfully obvious that we picked a Schmoe as as stupid as our ZackA$$ character was lame, we decided wouldn't it be a great twist to Bo Schmoe if we kicked him out and it becomes "A reality show...with no Bo". Our plan worked and the viewers ate it up but our advertisers reminded us that they had paid for time on "The Bo Schmoe show" and not the "No Bo show" so we called up our Schmoe and said how would you like a second chance at Paradise. Of course, Bo Schmoe sick of trying to get better gigs with his "I'm listening" line accepted and we reincarnated as the "Bo goes Doh! Schmoe Show". Our sick dememented experiment has turned a blind, shoulda been deaf mute Schmoe into a barbie hunting RamBo. Now we have our Bo Schmoe and his carefully crafted originho alliance up against our own handpicked barbie team. Will Bo find out???
Will he try to put LAmy back in the gene pool again only to have the pool reject her again and leave another lump on her head??? Tune in tonight to "The Bo Schmoe Show" to find out.
|
|
Remove |
Alert |
Edit |
Reply |
Reply With Quote | Top |
| |
|
|
|
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
|
|
Email this topic to a friend
Printer-friendly version of this topic
Bookmark this topic (Registered users only)
Life is a game where we make up the rules as we go along.
