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PLEASE NOTE: The Reality TV World Message Boards are filled with desperate
attention-seekers pretending to be one big happy PG/PG13-rated family. Don't
be fooled. Trying to get everyone to agree with you is like herding cats,
but intolerance for other viewpoints is NOT welcome and respect for other
posters IS required at all times. Jump in and play, and you'll soon find out
how easy it is to fit in, but save your drama for your mama. All members are
encouraged to read the
complete guidelines.
As entertainment critic Roger
Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue
with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."
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"The time has come to bomb Canada!!!! Before its too late!"
shakes the clown 3366 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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09-18-01, 11:45 AM (EST)
 
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"The time has come to bomb Canada!!!! Before its too late!" |
...have any of you noticed the overwhelming out pour of sympathy and support from our many Canadian SB members? I am here to plead with you to NOT fall for it! It is all a ruse!While they sit here lulling us to sleep with their "acts" of sympathy and helping us point fingers at invisible enemies overseas, they are secretly planning a massive attack on US soil, the likes of which has not been seen since the movie "Red Dawn" (remeber when Jennifer Gray had a career?). As I write this, thousands of Canadian Mounties and fur trappers are massing just outside the North Dakota/Canadian border, ready to gallop into such military strategic strongpoints as Sioux Falls, Bismark, The Corn Palace and Wall Drug. Once entrenched, they plan to force their vile Canadian ways upon us until we are all punctuating every sentence with the word "eh", drinking sodas out of 10 ounce cans, and vacationing in Windsor instead of Vegas. I know what you're saying.....why should we be afraid of a Country who's people need to use mutli-colored money cause 90% of them are too stupid to read numbers? To this I say that we must never underestimate our enemy, no matter how ridiculously dumb they are. And one more thing......remember, some of those terrorists entered the US through Canada and several terrorist cells are located there. Coincidence? I think not. If we are truly going to go after those Countries that harbour terrorists, then we must start by cleaning up our own neighborhood, starting with our "friends" to the North. The Prime Minister of Canada (whoever that is cause I have no idea) is no different than the Taliban and must be dealt with accordingly, before its too late! I also propose that until we are able to exterminate all Canadians, those board members that are of vile Canadian descent must change their sig pic to include a yellow maple leaf patch, which must be worn at all times. GOD BLESS AMERICA.........and CILL ALL CANADIANS!
don't say you weren't warned..
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LadyT 5567 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-01, 12:08 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: The time has come to bomb Canada!!!! Before its too late!" |
Yeah! Lets Cill those Canadians!
GOD BLESS AMERICA
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samiam 5976 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-01, 12:33 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: The time has come to bomb Canada!!!! Before its too late!" |
Sings...
"It seems that everything's gone wrong
Since Canada came along...
Blame Canada! Blame Canada!"C-I-L-L Canadians. 
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SherpaDave 8324 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-01, 12:38 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: The time has come to bomb Canada!!!! Before its too late!" |
Synch. Came this close to posting a lawsuit by Messrs Parker and Stone.
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ItzLisa 3350 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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09-18-01, 12:42 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: The time has come to bomb Canada!!!! Before its too late!" |
LAST EDITED ON 09-18-01 AT 12:44 PM (EST)Shut up, you huge enormous dork-head.... *Ponders her emailbox, which is oh so empty, oh so Powerpuffless....*
(You think we've got war out there? THIS is war, Shakes - for every post you put up, I will continue to bring up your random act of kindness that YOU bestowed upon me, unasked! You have been warned!!! Now send me presents, dammit!) And yes, you sweet tempered quiet little church-mouse of a clown - we KNOW that little show of yours will be premiering tonight, we WILL watch, we promise! No need to call attention to yourself every two seconds with yet another post! Gawd, your starting to sound like ME!!! ****************************************
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AyaK 10083 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-01, 01:02 PM (EST)
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12. "LC delayed until next week" |
No "Love Cruise" until next week, group; Fox delayed all of its previews.
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AyaK 10083 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-01, 01:03 PM (EST)
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13. "ROLFMAO" |
I would never have figured out this strategy....
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AyaK 10083 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-01, 01:06 PM (EST)
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14. "Randy Newman" |
shakes, I guess you're our answer to Randy Newman....Political Science
(Newman) (c)1969 No one likes us-I don't know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around, even our old friends put us down
Let's drop the big one and see what happens We give them money-but are they grateful?
No, they're spiteful and they're hateful
They don't respect us-so let's surprise them
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them Asia's crowded and Europe's too old
Africa is far too hot
And Canada's too cold
And South America stole our name
Let's drop the big one
There'll be no one left to blame us We'll save Australia
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo
We'll build an All American amusement park there
They got surfin', too Boom goes London and boom Paree
More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town
Oh, how peaceful it will be
We'll set everybody free
You'll wear a Japanese kimono
And there'll be Italian shoes for me They all hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now
Let's drop the big one now
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SherpaDave 8324 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-01, 01:25 PM (EST)
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16. "Tom Lehrer" |
Reminded me of an old favorite of mine (who I somehow suspect might be one of AyaK's faves, too). Included here is Mr. Lehrer's introduction to the song and the lyrics themselves. This is from "That Was the Year That Was," released originally, as best I can tell from various web searches, in 1965.Who's Next? One of the big news items of the past year concerned the fact that China, which we called "Red China," exploded a nuclear bomb, which we called a device. Then Indonesia announced that it was going to have one soon, and proliferation became the word of the day. Here's a song about that: First we got the bomb, and that was good,
'Cause we love peace and motherhood.
Then Russia got the bomb, but that's okay,
'Cause the balance of power's maintained that way.
Who's next? France got the bomb, but don't you grieve,
'Cause they're on our side (I believe).
China got the bomb, but have no fears,
They can't wipe us out for at least five years.
Who's next? Then Indonesia claimed that they
Were gonna get one any day.
South Africa wants two, that's right:
One for the black and one for the white.
Who's next? Egypt's gonna get one too,
Just to use on you know who.
So Israel's getting tense.
Wants one in self defense.
"The Lord's our shepherd," says the psalm,
But just in case, we better get a bomb.
Who's next? Luxembourg is next to go,
And (who knows?) maybe Monaco.
We'll try to stay serene and calm
When Alabama gets the bomb.
Who's next?
Who's next?
Who's next?
Who's next?
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Outfrontgirl 6830 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-01, 04:23 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: Tom Lehrer" |
Thanks AyaK and Sherpa for these great song reminders. My parents got a copy of the Lehrer album way back then and they played it constantly. We were ROFLOAO at my house. One of my favorites was "Pollution"--"The breakfast garbage you throw into the bay, they drink for lunch in San Jose"... I've been meaning to find a copy of that album as I haven't actually heard it in, well, more than 30 years. And yet I remember the songs!
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SherpaDave 8324 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-01, 04:27 PM (EST)
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26. "RE: Tom Lehrer" |
Someone, I believe Rhino, has released a boxed set of all his work. I saw it on Amazon recently and had to remind myself that such a purpose (damned expensive boxed sets) without first consulting Mrs. Sherpa would not be wise.
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Tinkerbell 1587 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Peanut Festival Grand Marshall"
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09-18-01, 01:12 PM (EST)
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15. "RE: The time has come to bomb Canada!!!! Before its too late!" |
>such military strategic
>strongpoints as Sioux Falls, Bismark,
>The Corn Palace and Wall
>Drug. Umm...Mr. Shakes the Clown, sir? Please don't give the Canadians any ideas. All of those places listed above are very close to me and I would hate for them to hurt me, eh? I'm just little and can't fight them off all by myself! I would hate for the Canadians to "cill" any of my friends! 
Tinkerbell--who lives close enough to those places to actually know what they are and who also knows the correct spelling of "Bismarck" 
On another note...has anyone else ever been to Wall Drug or the Corn Palace?
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shakes the clown 3366 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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09-18-01, 02:33 PM (EST)
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19. "actually Tinkerbell......" |
>Tinkerbell--who lives close enough to those
>places to actually know what
>they are and who also
>knows the correct spelling of
>"Bismarck" ...actually, I was using the future Canadian spelling of the word. Never too early to try and assimilate to our future rulers.
>
>On another note...has anyone else ever
>been to Wall Drug or
>the Corn Palace?
...I drove by the Corn Palace and I did spend an hour or two in Wall, South Dakota where a required stop is the famous Wall Drug....for anyone who has ever driven the highway system in the midwest and upper North states, you would know that visiting Wall Drug is our nations equivalent of a holy trip to Mecca.
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Tinkerbell 1587 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Peanut Festival Grand Marshall"
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09-18-01, 03:12 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: The time has come to bomb Canada!!!! Before its too late!" |
For those of you not in the "know" about Wall Drug and the Corn Palace here are a couple of websites:The Corn Palace:
http://www.cornpalace.org/ Wall Drug:
http://www.walldrug.com/history.htm Yessiree...The pride of South Dakota. (not to be confused with the "Pride of the Dakotas" the South Dakota State University marching band...UGH!) I'm proud to say that I've been to both places multiple times...Hey...I live in South Dakota--we have to do something for fun!
Tinkerbell--who didn't grow up in South Dakota but loves her state anyway...even though sometimes its embarassing!
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LadyT 5567 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-01, 03:55 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: The time has come to bomb Canada!!!! Before its too late!" |
you guys are cilling me!
Where's Skyraider? We need a DIATRADE!
GOD BLESS AMERICA
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SkyRaider 1301 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beef Jerky Spokesperson"
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09-18-01, 07:11 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: The time has come to bomb Canada!!!! Before its too late!" |
No DIATRADES today, I'm afraid. I was in shul today, listening to the rabbi (when I wasn't dozing) lecture on it being a new year and about being kind, nice, forgiving, all those useless things and it completely wore me out. I think he also mentioned bombing the hell out of Canada, or something like that, one of those foreign countries where they talk funny. I'll go on record as being against bombing Canada though. Then they'd want us to pay to "rebuild" (snicker, snicker) their country and take in millions of refugees who would immediately take over the gas stations and Jiffy Marts (and maybe even Wall Drugs!) Besides, we need it to keep that block of ice called Alaska from coming down and bumping into the REAL United States.
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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-01, 06:17 PM (EST)
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27. "A Message from the Prime Minister" |
 A Message from Prime Minister Jean Poutine: Dear Monsieur LeClown, It is with considerable disappointment that I read your propaganda message about Canadians wanting to take over your country. I ask you to cease your propaganda in order to be able to focus on the more pressing matters at hand in your state called Nouveau York. In the meantime, I would like to allay some fears and answer some questions about our great country that you may or may not be aware of. We feel that visitors prefer to come to Windsor instead of Vegas because our dollar is so low that Americans make a killing on the exchange rate, alone, not to mention the warm, friendly hospitality at our Casino Windsor where you won't have to deal with transvestite showgirl dancers (a la Vegas) or a tire-iron hello (a la Detroit). We also use coloured money because we find it is easy to fool Americans right over the border into accepting Canadian Tire money -- to Americans in Buffalo or Rochester, N.Y., they're the same thing (which, I have found on government visits, to be true on a couple of occasions). You can also keep the Midwestern states (the Dakotas, Montana) because they're colder than our own Prairies and we already have a potato-producing province in P.E.I. so you can keep Idaho, too. You also make reference to wearing yellow maple leaf patches. Is that intended to show that we are more easily scared? May I remind you that our hockey players cheerfully whack each other over the head with hockey sticks and smile afterwards. I invite you, Monsieur LeClown, to take a visit to our great country. We know our geography up here and we vote for people who will actually serve their country (case in point: I got elected despite mangled syntax and a funny-looking mouth, which is of great reassurance to Canadian women that they won't get hit on by their leader). Since Canadian women aren't getting hit on so much by their political leaders, perhaps there is hope for you to find a lady on a cruise up here? Yours Canadianly... Prime Minister Jean Poutine
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AyaK 10083 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-01, 06:52 PM (EST)
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28. "How Many Minutes Does This Hour Have?" |
Hey, maybe Rick Mercer can trip up Dubya, but you can't get us at SB, skunky. I'm going to have to send Marg Delahunty to visit you.BTW, I've had poutine. Y'all can keep it. Oh, and keep the old man of Canadian politics (i.e., the real PM -- Jean Chretien) too. If our Continental Congress had only had the foresight to support Benedict Arnold with enough troops and money in 1775, we wouldn't be having this discussion right now, would we? And, since I mentioned Mary Walsh's character earlier, let's see who she referred to as a clown when she received an honorary doctorate from the University of Newfoundland in 2000, shall we? "Well, here we are, convocation 2000. I guess the theme of the honorary degrees could be Send in the Clowns. It seems fitting that yesterday the biggest clown in the country received his honorary degree. Prime Minister Jean Chrétien, who has provided Canadians with so little in the way of what he had promised to provide and so much in the way of disappointed laughter. And so it is with some deep humility that I, having provided only a smidgen, a tiny, tiny, teeny portion of the laughs that Mr. Chrétien has...." My goodness, could Jean Chretien be the shakes of Canada?
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IceCat 17313 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-01, 07:00 PM (EST)
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29. "Merde! They've Broken the Code!" |
Attention all operatives...THE EAGLE IS ALOFT... I say again: THE EAGLE IS ALOFT... New Instructions... MUZZLE THE BEAVER... I say again: MUZZLE THE BEAVER  
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AyaK 10083 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-18-01, 10:10 PM (EST)
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33. "Ah, but you still have..." |
...the Molson Canadian ads! Hey fellow Yanks, here's what they think of us:
http://www.adcritic.com/content/molson-canadian-i-am.htmlAlthough there were some other Yank-bashing ads in this series (see the "No Doot Aboot It" ads), my personal favorite is this one, the "I Am Canadian" anthem:
http://www.adcritic.com/content/molson-canadian-i-am-anthem.html BTW, it IS pronounced "zee", not "zed"! And I believe in policing as well as peacekeeping and assimilation as well as diversity. So there! So, should I explain the tangled state of Canada's five quasi-national political parties next? Yes, FIVE -- one of the casualties of a Parliamentary system is the two-party state. During the 60s, 70s and 80s, the two main parties (Liberals and Progressive Conservatives -- who were NOT a conservative party) became virtual clones, with the third party being socialists (New Democratic Party) who only got into office if there was a major scandal. Then one of the main parties (the PC) put a goofball in office as PM (Kim Campbell, Vancouver's contribution to the destruction of the federation) at the same time that it was pushing a "special status" for Quebec called sovereignty-association (roughly equivalent to allowing Quebec to act like a spoiled brat with no repercussions). As a result, the PC collapsed and two regional parties took over prominence, one for Quebec (the Bloc Quebecois, allied with the separatist Parti Quebecois) and one for the "West" (meaning Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta, and British Columbia -- the Canadian Alliance, formerly known as the Reform Party, Canada's first truly conservative party). The ruling Liberals govern primarily by dominating Ontario, picking up a fair amount of support from Quebec (where they have surpassed the BQ as the main party in Parliament), and getting the majority of the seats from the Maritime Provinces (Prince Edward Island, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia ... and Newfoundland, which shares the same concerns), which have regressed to charity cases. The Alliance dominates the West, and the three territories (Yukon, Northwest, Nunavut) need government handouts merely to survive in the far north. With two brief, less-than-a-year exceptions from the PC (Joe Clark from Alberta and Kim Campbell from BC), Canada's PMs dating back to 1968 have all been from Quebec (Pierre Trudeau, John Turner, Brian Mulroney, Jean Chretien) and have received the bulk of their support from Ontario. No wonder the West feels disenfranchised!
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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-19-01, 06:38 AM (EST)
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38. "RE: Ah, but you still have..." |
These Molson Canadian ads are great, aren't they AyaK? Makes you almost feel proud to be invaded by such a country, EH? 
>BTW, it IS pronounced "zee", not
>"zed"! And I say "A-Boat" unlike others who say "A-boot" or "A-bowt"
>Then one of the main parties (the PC) put a goofball
>in office as PM (Kim Campbell,
To her credit, it wasn't entirely her fault. Brian Mulroney basically destroyed the country with his policies (or so it appeared at the time) and he bailed out before the mob could lynch him ... and Kim Campbell had the misfortune to try and replace him. I think she could have done a decent job if she was allowed to distance herself from Mulroney's policies, but she did not make a good initial impression and with the stench left over from Mulroney's government, she and the other PC's were dumped out onto the street only a few months after she took over as prime minister. I have always believed she got an unfair rap as P.M. even if she didn't make a good impression in her time in office.
>With two brief, less-than-a-year exceptions from
>the PC (Joe Clark from Alberta and Kim Campbell from
>BC), Canada's PMs dating back to 1968 have all been
>from Quebec (Pierre Trudeau, John Turner,
John Turner was born in England and emigrated to British Columbia as a toddler after the death of his father as his mother was Canadian. He grew up the bulk of his life in either B.C. or in Ottawa and the only Quebec connection he has is when he went to work for a law firm in Montreal and got called to the Quebec Bar. You're right, though, the West has typically felt disenfranchised and cut off from the government policies of Canada. There is a possibility we may have a Western prime minister one day, though. Alberta's Premier Ralph Klein has wavered over the idea of one day running for national office, and if he ever does... look for a well-balanced budget but say good bye to subsidized health care and education as you know it. 
"Permit me to introduce myself. I am Pepe Le Pew, your lover."
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PepeLePew13 24731 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-19-01, 06:42 AM (EST)
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39. "RE: Ah, but you still have..." |
... but hey, don't get me wrong -- I still like this country even if the government is a tad messed up... and we're still coming after you guys with our band of fur trappers and hockey stick-wielding toothless bandits!
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AyaK 10083 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-19-01, 09:55 AM (EST)
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41. "John Turner" |
LAST EDITED ON 09-19-01 AT 10:02 AM (EST)Pepe, I know about Turner's history (including his struggles with French), but he was elected to Parliament from a riding in Montreal and served as an MP from Quebec ... even after he moved his law practice to Toronto (which happened at the time that virtually all of the large corporations abandoned Montreal, thanks to Rene Levesque and the PQ). It's like asking where Hillary Clinton is from; she may have lived all her life elsewhere, but she's a senator from New York, so the official answer has to be: New York. Anyway, he only served as PM for 2.5 months, even less time than Ms. Campbell. And I agree about Mulroney: he was the person who ran up the national debt while pushing the Meech Lake and Charlottestown agreements. But Kim was a desperation candidate, and she made the vast majority of my Canadian friends desperate -- to get her our of office. Edited for spelling.
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Dakota 5643 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-19-01, 00:44 AM (EST)
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36. "RE: No Hablo Ingles Senior El Mountie!" |
LOL, Thank gawd someone noticed that Survivor isn't the only thing the Canadians envy about us. Pepe pointed out that their politicians can't get dates. Perhaps it's the fault of the French cultural heritage in which women do not shave that keeps your politicians from dating. If you see any red-suited guys with riding boots that ARE NOT saying "Ho Ho Ho" and carrying presents, call 911, call the FBI, call the Secret Service. If one of them approaches you, appear baffled and say, "No hablo Ingles, Senior El Mountie!" I would also like to remind you, PEPE, that it has been proven in numerous scientific studies that US hockey players have fewer teeth than Canadians.
So there!!! 
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LadyT 5567 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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09-19-01, 10:10 AM (EST)
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42. "Guilty pleasure" |
I love Mighty Ducks movies. They crack me up and I always wish that the kids would take out Emilio Estevez. Canada, you are free to have him, you don't even have to ask. We will get give him to you.
GOD BLESS AMERICA
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VampKira 4433 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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09-19-01, 07:06 AM (EST)
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40. "RE: The time has come to bomb Canada!!!! Before its too late!" |
Oh man!! I thought I responded to this thresd!! OMG.. I can't believe I didn't!! I swear I thought I did. I meant to smack you shakes.. but you have been getting alot of those lately so.. I will just LMAO this time.. and ditto to Tripoli and Iceman.. heck.. ALL of you!!!That makes two thresds in a row that made me Laugh Out Loud! I am on a roll! *looks for her memory* 
"We'll know for the first time,
If we're evil or divine...
We're the last in line." - Ronnie James Dio
Du ar min hjälte, Supermänniska 
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p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e - p l a c e h o l d e r t e x t g o e s h e r e -
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