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"Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
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HomeBrewer 104 desperate attention whore postings
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09-28-01, 12:15 PM (EST)
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"Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Here is my first attempt at a Top Ten List....

From the home office in Suburban Chicago, Illinois, here is the Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot dance. Paul, You know Michael right?

Paul: I think Michael Jackson is a good dancer.

Dave: No, no, not that Michael. Michael is from “Love Cruise”, the new reality TV show on FOX.

Paul: Oh… With a name like “Love Cruise”, one would think Dancing would be a prerequisite.

Dave: Yes, you are right Paul. At any rate, Heeeeeere we go. The top ten reasons Michael cannot dance.

Number 10: It is too hard to talk and dance at the same time.

Number 9: The girls have never picked him to be their partner.

Number 8: His Mom never showed him the steps.

Number 7: He is too tired from staying up late. (i.e. Trying to mimic VampKira)

Number 6: By his own admission is White and Jewish

Number 5: His flames scare off all the instructors

Number 4: Accident victims rarely can dance after ride in Ambulance.

Number 3: He would have to share the stage with some other media whore. (NOTE: He got more attention Complaining and not Dancing…..)

Number 2: Michael SHAKES in all the wrong ways.

And the Number 1 reason Michael cannot dance: The Big Red Shoes just get in the way.


“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” -Winston Churchill

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot ... George Tirebiter 09-28-01 1
 RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot ... dangerkitty 09-28-01 2
 RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot ... moonbaby 09-28-01 3
 RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot ... Survivorchick 09-28-01 4
 RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot ... Cherberrie 09-28-01 5
 RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot ... Dalton 09-28-01 6
   RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot ... sleeeve 09-28-01 9
   RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot ... samiam 09-28-01 10
 RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot ... Drive My Car 09-28-01 7
 RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot ... LadyT 09-28-01 8
 ROTF!! VampKira 09-29-01 11
 RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot ... Circe 09-29-01 12
 RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot ... JulieMc 09-30-01 13
   RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot ... Thrill Seeker 10-01-01 14

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George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings
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09-28-01, 12:23 PM (EST)
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1. "RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Ha! I wondered where you'd gotten to, Brewer. Good effort!

And you know what? When I first took a gander at the topic on the main page, I somehow KNEW what the #1 reason would be. . . (Have they even showed him below the knees? I've already been disappointed by the lack of red, pointy hair and greasepaint, so I hope they don't take the shoes away from me, as well.)


GT

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dangerkitty 1912 desperate attention whore postings
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09-28-01, 12:30 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Bwahahahaha HomeBrewer!! Nice list!

I think #10 could just have well have been #1.


dangerkitty


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moonbaby 15894 desperate attention whore postings
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09-28-01, 12:37 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Great list, HB!
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Survivorchick 1161 desperate attention whore postings
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09-28-01, 01:57 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
ROFLMAO brewer!

Survivorchick

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Cherberrie 1285 desperate attention whore postings
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09-28-01, 03:20 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"

Number 2: Michael SHAKES in all the wrong ways.

Poor Micow.


Cherberrie

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Dalton 1271 desperate attention whore postings
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09-28-01, 03:23 PM (EST)
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6. "RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Great TTL HomeBrewer. Funny but too true!!

All you folks who don't have LC on TAPE --- I will tell you that during the one "Hot Seat" taping Michael was sitting with one leg propped up on the other. His ugly, floppy hat resting on his knee. The bottom of one foot was clearly visable...and through the miracle of "freeze frame" I determined Michael's TRUE shoe size must be 13 1/2.

So really those funny clown shoes are probably custom made.

Dalton

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sleeeve 3456 desperate attention whore postings
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09-28-01, 07:45 PM (EST)
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9. "RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
> The bottom of one
>foot was clearly visable...and through
>the miracle of "freeze frame"
>I determined Michael's TRUE shoe
>size must be 13 1/2.

Just out of curiousity, but what did you compare his shoe to, when you made this determination?

I hope that it wasn't his head, because we all know how big that is .




You never know what might be up my sleeeve...

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samiam 5976 desperate attention whore postings
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09-28-01, 09:15 PM (EST)
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10. "RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Now, now. Michael wears "big, floppy shoes, but he's got little feet, like all good-hearted people." *grin*


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Drive My Car 20045 desperate attention whore postings
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09-28-01, 03:57 PM (EST)
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7. "RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Great list Brewer!!
Lots of Fun!!

( ponders Mike having Big Feet)


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LadyT 5567 desperate attention whore postings
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09-28-01, 07:42 PM (EST)
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8. "RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Awesome list Homebrewer

GOD BLESS AMERICA

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VampKira 4433 desperate attention whore postings
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09-29-01, 01:24 AM (EST)
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11. "ROTF!!"
ROTF!! Great job, HB!!


"The trick is to keep breathing...." - Garbage

Du ar min hjälte, Supermänniska!


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Circe 33 desperate attention whore postings
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09-29-01, 11:45 AM (EST)
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12. "RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
LOL HomeBrewer!!! Gotta love Number 3!!


~~Beware of Greeks bearing gifts~~

**Love is a trick that nature plays to get us to reproduce. Looks like it's Halloween on LC!***

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JulieMc 23 desperate attention whore postings
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09-30-01, 04:47 PM (EST)
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13. "RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Great top ten!LOL I don't know about anyone else but i was really bummed about Mike not dancing in the salsa contest..lmao! I would have payed good money to see that..well not really but it would have been a hoot to watch
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Thrill Seeker 220 desperate attention whore postings
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10-01-01, 02:59 PM (EST)
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14. "RE: Top Ten Reasons Michael Cannot Dance"
Maybe he dances maliciously?
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