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"ATTENTION: I KILLED THE CLOWN!!!!"
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larman 47 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"

05-26-01, 04:41 PM (EST)
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"ATTENTION: I KILLED THE CLOWN!!!!"
In desperate attempt to end this tortutious period of waiting, I finally located the rubber-nosed sex crazed pimp and got him from behind. Don't worry, it was all over quickly though I was tempted to let him die slowly similar to the pain we have all had to suffer since the announcement of the Shakesvivor Games' open applications. (How long ago was that anyway?)

After a quick nip in the ole bud, that balloon-twistin', freckled faced, flower-hattin' procrastinator turned around at the precise moment when I chomped him in 2.

(**Disclaimer: Please note-No kiddies were around for the grand finale as he was behind the big top with one of his well-endowed assistants. I'd like to think that she was saved from an inevitable heartache.)

Now, I know gators aren't supposed to be eating meat such as a clown, but from time to time when properly provoked, it just happens.

As for the show that is supposed to go on, I captured the transcript that had a good eight episodes already in print. Geez, all he had to do was atleast feed us one for starters.
That transcript is somewhere here....It's difficult to scan it though. Perhaps, one of you more experienced and limber fingered ones could begin to feed it to the rest of us...Looks like it could be official though I am not sure.

Hmmmm.....I SURE HOPE THAT WAS THE RIGHT CLOWN...does STC wear flowers in his hat from time to time? (If it wasn't, I'm heading to some other big tops, no pun intended....I know where his site is!)

SINCERELY-GATOR

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  Table of Contents

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
 RE: ATTENTION: I KILLED THE CLOWN... Drive My Car 05-26-01 1
   RE: ATTENTION: I KILLED THE CLOWN... Kismet 05-26-01 2
   RE: ATTENTION: I KILLED THE CLOWN... boomerang 05-27-01 8
 RE: ATTENTION: I KILLED THE CLOWN... VampKira 05-26-01 3
 RE: ATTENTION: I KILLED THE CLOWN... Pendragon 05-26-01 4
   RE: ATTENTION: I KILLED THE CLOWN... Irisheyes 05-26-01 5
       Hmph..Back to the drawing board larman 05-26-01 6
           Cancel that meal larman 05-27-01 7

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Messages in this topic

Drive My Car 20045 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"

05-26-01, 05:00 PM (EST)
Click to EMail Drive%20My%20Car Click to send private message to Drive%20My%20Car Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
1. "RE: ATTENTION: I KILLED THE CLOWN!!!!"
Larman, you didn't kill Shakes. That is a common mistake made by many would-be Clown assasins.
See the Clown hires doubles, you know like a stand in, it helps with security and prevents him from getting mobbed everywhere he goes. In fact many people who have autographs they think were signed by Shakes actually have worthless forgeries signed by the stand ins.

Shaks is alive and well.

Darnit it's gonna take all afternoon to find a replacement.

EBUg

Oh and Gater, answer the door, those officers have some questions to ask you.

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Kismet 802 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"

05-26-01, 05:25 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: ATTENTION: I KILLED THE CLOWN!!!!"
LOL Gator! Thank you for your sacrifice. I don't imagine clowns taste particularly pleasant. I do hope you don't get overly ill from the experience.

Ebug, thank you for clearing the matter up so quickly. I was very close to running this story. I guess there are some advantages to being Shakes' love toy.

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boomerang 556 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Reality Show Commentator"

05-27-01, 07:55 AM (EST)
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8. "RE: ATTENTION: I KILLED THE CLOWN!!!!"
Shakes does often hire body-doubles. I have included an example of one bellow.


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VampKira 4433 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"

05-26-01, 06:05 PM (EST)
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3. "RE: ATTENTION: I KILLED THE CLOWN!!!!"
>>>See the Clown hires doubles, you know like a stand in<<<

Oh Buggy! All I can say is I hope that your man The Clown didn't have a body double the day the women had to... ahem.. you know... We don't want him claiming we have to have a "do over" because he was being impersonated!!

w.l.s.f.c.

Du ar min hjälte, Supermänniska


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Pendragon 136 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"

05-26-01, 06:30 PM (EST)
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4. "RE: ATTENTION: I KILLED THE CLOWN!!!!"
In desperate attempt to end this tortutious period of waiting, I
finally located the rubber-nosed sex crazed pimp and got him from behind. Don't worry, it was all over quickly...

Gator, Gator, Gator,

While I appreciate the enthusiasm and applaud your attempt, I would like to say that no one here wants to the see the clown dead. My stance on this may come as a bit of a shock. I have only been posting less than a week and have already been called, to quote the DevilClown himself, a "playah hatah".

While it's true, I do not believe that an undertaking of this magnitude can be pulled off by a man who makes his living chasing ambulances and taking pies in the face (not neccessarily in that order), I do not believe the clown should lose his life over this.

I think he needs to be hurt, maiamed, cooked over an open flame, and paraded naked through the middle of town so everyone can fling the vegetable of thier choice in his general direction.

A dead clown will only create a martyr to all other pimps out there who think they can pull off a fake reality TV show through a message board. His cause must die, but not him.

To paraphrase IceCat, the whores must be set free. Only then will we all be free.

In a completely unrelated matter, when recounting this story to others, I would avoid using the phrase, "got him from behind".

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The pen is mightier than the sword.

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Irisheyes 276 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Network TV Show Guest Star"

05-26-01, 06:58 PM (EST)
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5. "RE: ATTENTION: I KILLED THE CLOWN!!!!"
Damn, got my hopes up for nothing.

Veronica, veritably unique whore!, Maffio Venier

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larman 47 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"

05-26-01, 07:57 PM (EST)
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6. "Hmph..Back to the drawing board"
Dern it!

While still digesting that not so tasty rubber nosed morsel (*burp*), I'll just have to waddle my dried out, wrinkled but lengthy torso onto a different town.

Ahhh..but, in my sight, I see another Big Top tent with a parade of women lined up in back (eight to be exact). The sun is setting, but I see the shadow of a pudgy man seated in the candlelight dipping his pen in his ink scribbling away madly. There apparently has been a power outage. By the looks of it, I could be on the right trail. There is the faint odor of a stogey in the air. Peeking out the bottom of the tent, I see...
...a blue tie sprinkled with white spots...
...a somewhat ridiculous red haired wig...
.and, what is that?, suspenders and a dark jacket!...
..Mercy, I cannot deny what I see...there lies not only the above
but, a white shirt with some sort of spots on it..
...Oh, no...white grease paint AND a most optimal smile is clearly visible on the paper towel that the storm's gust has just brought to my reptilian toes..

This MUST be the one and only SHAKES!

Hey, BTW, Whatever IS this man wearing???
OMG! STC tinkers late at night trying to create our entertainment
IN THE RAW...THE BUFF....OMG....NAKED..!!

This gator is temporarily out of commission after a brief occasion to toss his cookies.............UUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH

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larman 47 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Beauty Pageant Celebrity Judge"

05-27-01, 04:25 AM (EST)
Click to EMail larman Click to send private message to larman Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
7. "Cancel that meal"
This gator and all the fine folks here have been properly fed and watered ...after the long awaited posting arrived as promised.

Oh, yea, I need to pass a med. note from this camp's vet:

Please feed gator and other fellow board viewers regularly to avoid unruly, rude, carnivorous behavior. The gator's addiction will be more than adequately satiated until the return of S3.

Ebug, you were right after all.-Gator

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