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"BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 8 • I Don’t Think We’re in Kansas Any More, SnoopySucks!"
George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest"
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07-16-01, 08:34 PM (EST)
 
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"BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 8 • I Don’t Think We’re in Kansas Any More, SnoopySucks!" |
Sorry, shakes, it's another long one. At least I've compensated somewhat by skipping the bullsh¡t recap stuff at the beginning of the episode. If you've arrived here without a clue, please go back and read Midway! the incredible, amazing recap episode from last week!
BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 8 • I Don’t Think We’re in Kansas Any More, SnoopySucks! DAY 23 The cicadas are already buzzing in the heat as the sun arises in the middle of the Red Sea. Our castaways are awakened by the din of a helicopter overhead; they stumble to their feet, transfixed at the sight of their tent breaking loose from its moorings, as it comes crashing on top of their still-unsorted pile of belongings from the hasty move to the new campsite. Survivorerist appears over the knoll, carrying the day’s catch of suspiciously red fish from the retention pond. He absent-mindedly drops them at OFG’s feet as he stares at the chopper--and then is distracted by a flash of color peeking out from under the corner of what used to be the tent (brought to you by our proud sponsors at Coleman!) Survivorerist: OMG! I always LOVED those! Shakes promised me a pair, but I thought he forgot about ‘em before he left. . . He wrenches a pair of size 40 red leather shoes off the feet--which promptly shrivel up and disappear. The Eye In The Sky helicopter lands a few feet away, and two familiar faces emerge--yes, it’s the EGG sleuths, EBug and GG, microphones and cameraman at the ready. George Tirebiter seems oblivious to the dust in her gaping mouth, as she ogles GG--who has assumed a Marilyn Monroe pose whilst the rotors waft his kilt up around his waist. The other women abandon their ridicule of her preference after learning first-hand that it is indeed the custom to enjoy the contrast of the coarse tartan against bare skin. . . EBug shoves her microphone in the closest face EBug: Is it true that the producers of Blowsvivor are manipulating the outcome of the show? We have had several reports that the fix is in to assure an all-female Final 4--can anyone substantiate this? (to the camera) That Kismet is EVIL, I tell you--I just know she’s up to no good! AyaProbe storms out of his trailer wearing only a bathrobe--and his toupé is on backwards. AyaP: What the hell is going on here?! You people aren’t authorized to land in the middle of our set! (He manhandles the cameraman and breaks the tape.) Where the hell are those clowns from security? and why wasn’t our airspace protected?! (He continues shoving the news crew back into the chopper. As a large contingent of security midgets surrounds the crew, we see a small figure swoop from the opposite side and land amid the camp rubble.) ItzLisa: HaHAAA! You BitchingBores thought Bubbles was too nice for this game, huh? Well, I’ll show you! She grabs a couple objects from the pile. Think you can get away with writing ME out of the show, do you, Outfrontgirl? (brandishes OFG’s bong) Well, howd’ya like THESE apples?! And YOU--Mon Cherie--I’m taking THIS (clutches spandex tiger suit in the other hand) to send you a message from VampKira! Your ass is grass, you hussy! MonCherie Um. . . that’s Dangerkitty’s. . . ItzLiza (oblivious to her mistake) You people make me SICK, you know that?! And I’m here to tell you that you haven’t seen the last of Bubbles--there are enough ambulance-chasers on these boards to ensure I get my way onto Blowsvivor 2! Me and my funbags will show you ho’s how nice I can be. . . (evil laughter) Bubbles retreats into the helicopter as it’s hurried away under threat of the heavily-armed security force. AyaP: Well? What the hell are you people gaping at? Get your asses back to work! (storms back into his trailer, clutching his robe and hair as the gale subsides) Everyone looks in amazement GT: It is just too fucking early for this kind of sh¡t. . . I say we fire up Goldie before we even think about breakfast. OFG: Agreed. What was with that Bubbles, anyway? Is she too flaky to remember we’ve only got about four more bongs in this camp? hehehe RudyRules: Say, you girls oughtta get a move on. I say a hearty breakfast is just the thing before we get serious about moving this camp to higher ground. IceCat: The codger is right--and while you do that, I’m going to check out this map and see if I can’t find us some tree mail. If my calculations are correct, the only tree for miles will be at the top of that highest peak. (gestures upwards) sleeeve: I was going to say that, man. . . and you know what? I bet it’s burning, too!--not that we need the fire, mind you. . . as an Eagle Scout, I bet you I can still build one in less than two minutes! As Tweeedledum and Tweeedledeee head up the hill--fighting over the map the whole way--GT and OFG glare at all three men, then begin preparation of the first real meal at the new site. OFG & GT: singingOh, Womaaaan is the nigger of the woooorld, yes she is, if you don’t believe me, take a look at the one you’re with. Womaaaan is the slave to the slaaaave, yeah. . . {Interview with RR}
RR: I’m thinkin’ this old codger is doing pretty well to have lasted to the merge. So far, my “under the radar” act is working pretty sweet. If that last old coot could hide the fact that he had his own bank, I think it should be pretty easy to conceal the fact that I’ve got me a Masters degree in Thinkology. . . (sly look as he taps his temple and chews a piece of straw) ******************************************************************* IceCat and sleeeve return with tree mail--and green goggles for all. sleeeve: . . . no, I get to read it!
Just when you thought this gig couldn’t get any stranger
Your journey begins to harbor some danger
If mutant fish and no plant life does not give you pause,
You really deserve the name given you DAWs. So put on your glasses to lend you an air
of more lucious surroundings while you tackle this dare.
Hike your asses over to the place where Pharaoh stood
To see if your balance is really that good. Your teamwork should now be a thing of the past
As you fight against each other to see who can really last.
Snarf your rice and get moving, so AyaP won’t be pissing
If he’s late for cartoons, your reward you’ll be missing! Survivorchick: Hot damn! A physical challenge--all my time in the gym should pay off here. Survivorerist: I’m gonna wear my new shoes! If this is a balance game, they should give me an edge. MonCherie: Oh. . . my. . . gawd. . . No one ever said this was going to involve so much WALKING! And this dustbowl is making for major chafing where my teddy thongs. . . ssshhhhhaughh (eyes roll) IceCat: I really can’t see why we have to wear these goggles. . . I mean--the elastic is going to wreak havoc with my hair. GT rolls her eyes and proceeds to trade grooming duties with him. As they take turns undoing tangles and braiding each others’ hair, the other women get catty: {aside with Schick, DK, and MC:}
Damn. I really was hoping she was gay. . .
Damn, I really was hoping to get my claws into that Cat. . . he’s purrrrrrrfectly gorgeous.
Damn, ever since she got that Playboy centerfold, no one even cares about my hopes for a Victoria’s Secret shoot! I’m NEVER going to get sex here, I just know they’re editing me wrong!And I’m not so sure you’re wrong about her. . . have you noticed she’s starting to develop some suspiciously batty canines? {aside with GT}
MC knows I have a score to settle for Vamps. . . but I can’t really say I care. I mean--she’s one of those bar floozies who has to throw herself at EVERY man she meets! Don’t these young girls know they’d get farther if they’d pick ONE appropriate guy and quit alienating all the other females? I mean--how smart do you need to be to realize every conversation cannot revolve around YOU?! (glares at camera and flashes her pearly . . . fangs?) ******************************************************************* The DAWs are now assembled for their hike--green goggles in place (and they suddenly appreciate the friendlier glow it gives the place)--and they head across the Eleven Commandments set toward the impatiently awaiting AyaProbe. Sensing danger, IceCat twitches nervously, the entire trek. RudyRules is similarly pensive as he overthinks every step, and sleeeve (who recalls the promise of danger in the tree mail message) keeps being alarmed by the sound of his own knees rattling together. Survivorerist--frequently stumbling in his new shoes--clutches a spot between the others. The women are fairly oblivious to the journey--either too mellow to care, or wrapped up in hushed conversation. As they arrive at their appointed spot, a shadow passes overhead and a wicked cackle is heard Mistofleas: (circling overhead on her Hoover) HAAAA HA HA HA-HAAA! You fools! Don’t you know who’s in charge here?! How dare you deviate from the script, AyaP! Kismet will get you, my pretty--and your little dog, too!! (she continues her flight until it is clear that she has spelled “Surrender AyaProbe” with her contrail, then disappears) AyaP: Yeah, whatever. (shrugs) Okay, Weenies--now that you’ve finally hauled your lazy asses over here, it’s time for a little balancing act. (he motions over the rise to a giant plastic mat covered with colorful spots) This little challenge comes to you courtesy of our fine sponsors at Milton Bradley. Yes, kids, it’s TWISTER!tm You’re going to remove your shoes, assume your positions around the perimeter of this grid, and play a little Simon Says with your good friend Aya. The fact that it’s mid-day now--and you’re all good and sweaty from your hike through the dustbowl--should make for a fairly brief experience, which may or may not make up for that last TC debacle. . . You are playing for a food reward from another fine sponsor, as the added security measures have necessitated scraping the barrel for more income. You people know that lousy BB2 is already on the air? If we don’t wrap this crap up before Love Cruise shows its ugly mug, Blowsvivor is SURE to tank in the ratings--so you’d damned better well keep smiling, and don’t be afraid to flash a few goodies! If you don’t maximize your endorsement potential, you people will miss your fifteen minutes before you even reach Loserboy Island! Much grumbling ensues as the DAWs take their places. RudyRules, suffering from excessive toejam buildup in his army boots, slides off and is disqualified immediately. OFG: I TOLD you people I have a floppy retina! I think it’s patently unfair that you have chosen to subject me to this grid--which would obviously give seizures to any garden-variety epileptic! You had better hope this doesn’t compromise my position in the game, or I’m joining that little Bubblehead in her suit for compensation! I’ve done the paralegal shtick, you know, and I’ve got all the time in the world to back myself up! (OFG stumbles away, rubbing her eyes) Soon after this outburst, GT gives a wink in several directions and abandons the game, citing her old knee injury and sinus headache from bending over. sleeeve and IceCat, no thanks to their manly physiques, succumb to their off-kilter center of gravity and topple soon after. Surv--despite his sound footing from refusing to remove his shoes--soon cowers under the glare of the remaining women. Dangerkitty: You might as well give up, girls. . . you’re dealing with a pro here. Not only do I have years of yoga behind me, I’m liable to Chi Kung your asses! Give it up now, I say! This seems to infuriate the other two. Schick attempts to cop a feel, and is promptly roundhoused onto her butt in the middle of a puddle of sweat in the center of the mat. MC attempts a stare-down with DK as they wrangle for spots, but is soon unbalanced by her own fit of picque. DK wins the RC. DK: Meoooowwrrrrrrrrr. . . . What did I win?! AyaP: Congratulations, kitty--you are now the proud recipient of Auntie Em’s Moleskin Cookies®, the cookies with a whole mole inside! They’re delicious--and economical, too! You just eat ‘em, wipe ‘em off, eat ‘em again! That’s Auntie Em’s Moleskin Cookies® Here ya go--now get your butts back to camp--I’ve got Powerpuff Girls in like ten minutes. (he hops into a golf cart and whooshes away) The mood on the walk back to camp is incredulous. DK: What the hell kind of reward was THAT?! These are the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen! (she tosses the bag as she stomps along--and it is quickly adopted by MC) MC: I should’ve won the challenge anyway. . . And--heeeey! these aren’t bad! And urp! you really CAN eat them over and over!!
*******************************************************************
DAY 25 Thanks to the efforts of just about everyone (except MC, who is still eating those cookies, and Surv, who is polishing the grit off his shoes. . .) the camp has now been pretty much moved to higher ground--about where Moses stood. Although RR is still playing it cagey about his survival know-how, sleeeve and GT have masterminded some pioneering feats learned at summer camp, IceCat has foraged some game, and DK has ingratiated herself by filling the water jugs with some fairly foamy river water and has boiled a quantity for food purposes. The goggles have remained on, as they lend a more relaxed feeling to the landscape. AyaP suddenly appears from his trailer, and is dressed in his finest Lone Ranger ensemble. AyaP: Greetings, peons. Today we’re going to play a little game for immunity--a game I like to call Texas Hold-Em. sleeeve, you have your cards with you? sleeeve: Why yes, of course--they’re my ticket to staying popular with everyone during those boring times in-between. . . AyaP: Thank you, I’ll just borrow them for a while. (takes cards) Now we all know the secret to winning at cards is knowing when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em, am I right? (all mumble in agreement) That was never so true as right now, because I am about to give each of you a card, and your immunity will depend on your ability to stand pat and keep your poker face! (deals cards to all) I want you to all line up there--and you, sleeeve, can be the first one up. (Aya faces sleeeve toward the other contestants) OFG: Aya--we don’t get tree mail for this? AyaP: No, you don’t. That last one was so lousy, I decided to skip this one. These writers need to learn that elementary rhyming doesn’t make up for a lack of meter! Now sleeeve--I want you to take this (hands sleeeve one of Dalton’s pearl-handled six shooters) and take careful aim at the card the next contestant is holding--yes, I WOULD hold it out as far as possible, RudyRules. . . You have six shots to make that card as small as possible. You will each fire in turn, and the holder of the smallest card will face off with the best shot. If you hit your opponent, you are both disqualified. This challenge is brought to you by the NRA and Smith & Wesson. (Aya gestures toward the hilltop, where Charlton Heston--in robe and beard--waves toward the group.) Ready? sleeeve: Um. . . Aya? I don’t think this is the best idea. . . I mean--sure, I got my merit badge for BB guns, easy!--but how good are the rest of these people? Aren’t there union rules or watchdog groups that will frown upon this? And what about my cards?! I won’t even have enough left for a game of pinochle! AyaP: That’s what separates the men from the boys in poker, sleeevie! Now. . . SHOOT! sleeeve sighs, then takes careful aim at RudyRules’ card, and blasts two-thirds of it away. RR manages to keep his nerve until sleeeve announces he can’t bear to take his last shot. RudyRules demonstrates his skill by quickly piercing Survivorerist’s card in several places--but never actually diminishing the overall size. Surv takes aim at Survivorchick, whispers to her that he has enough experience at Whack-a-Mole® that she can trust his aim--then quickly falls into a heap, declaring his desire to spare her so that she can make good on her promise to make him a man. . . Schick fires once at IceCat--barely missing his head--and runs shrieking behind a hill when this results in a fearsome roar. IceCat manages to carve away GT’s card, however leaves a large part hanging--until the last second. He throws the gun down in disgust, thinking he’s blown it--and it misfires and parts Schick’s hair as she peeks over the hill. Cat disqualified for the beanball. GT demonstrates her years of expertise at Nintendo and clips Dangerkitty’s card close enough to trim a claw with it--drawing giggles from MonCherie. DK, pissed at the breakage, tries to substitute her whip at MonCherie’s card. . . MC has a hissy fit and stomps off to join Schick behind the hill. Outfrontgirl calmly takes her place and hangs on while DK struggles to hit the card at all. OFG takes the final stance, aims the gun at sleeeve. . . pauses to question the sanity of using firearms at all--and is quickly chastised from on high by Charlton Heston. . . pauses again to ask how the thing even works, and when she bends over to peer at the chambers to see if there are even any bullets in it, the gun misfires and leaves sleeeve with a quarter inch of card falling to the ground as he makes a sudden dash to find the latrine. AyaP: (surveying the damage) Alright, people--we have two winners. OFG gets the best shot, GT has the smallest card--sleeeve, you were supposed to HOLD ‘EM! Ladies, take your position here at the podium. . . Left hand behind you, right hands together. . . now--THUMB WRESTLE! The winner takes all. The two make a half-assed attempt at competing, then GT smiles and loses her balance. OFG is awarded the Immunity Condom Necklace, which is presented by Mr. Heston, with his smarmiest gun-lovin’ smirk and a transparent GIF at the bottom of the screen hawking the NRA as a purveyor of good, clean family fun and our God-given right to bear arms. ******************************************************************* DAY25 -- THREE HOURS BEFORE TRIBAL COUNCIL The Blowsvivors are obviously shaken by their first truly dangerous encounter of the game. sleeeve, who still had fond memories of his last experience--and high hopes for the future--finds the former BB’s first aid kit, complete with their allotment of Exstacy. . . sleeeve: Hey, gang--I don’t know about you, but I’ve got a headache that could beat the band. Whaddya say we use up these aspirin before heading over to TC? Survivorerist: I’m all for that, sleeeve! I tell you, I feel so close to each and every one of you right now, you just can’t imagine the stress I’m feeling at the prospect of having to vote against any of you tonight! (screws up his face in obvious torment--then turns from the group and rolls his eyes) GT and OFG exchange knowing glances, but join the cult in their ritual. . . In no time at all, the party is in full swing. {aside with OFG, who has assumed a position on the Moses rock, overlooking the crowd}
Yeah, I knew this wasn’t aspirin--and I normally prefer a much more natural high--but this is no time to go setting myself apart from the group. Besides, it sounds like Monkeyboy and his power trio on the next lot, so I’m feeling pretty good about things right now. This could be fun. The rest of the contestants seem also to feel no pain. DK and IceCat are strutting circles around each other, reminiscent of his old porn flicks. Yes, he’s only wearing a scrunchy--and it isn’t on his hair! Surv and OFG have located AyaP’s cooler stash, and are greedily picking out the best popsicles to enjoy in the late afternoon heat. GT joins in--and the ladies remove their shirts and bask on that rock, driving RudyRules and sleeeve into apoplexy with their popsicle antics. MonCherie has a major conniption at the realization that all the good guys are once again “taken,” and she storms off into the Red Sea with Schick in hot pursuit. . . They make it as far as the debris left by Pharaoh’s army, and are last seen huddling together in one of the chariots. {aside with GT}
Damn--it’s always about sex with those two. . . that is NOT what I came here for, I tell you--I am NOT going to screw up my position here by fucking around with one of the other contestants! . . . although I AM feeling a little bit antsy right now. . . If Kismet’s cute delivery boy was to make another entrance, I’m afraid I’d nail him on the spot. . .hehehe (spaces off dreamily, with a wicked Mr. Spock eyebrow) uhhhhhhhhh. . . At this point, a thunderous sound and flurry of movement appears on the bed of the Red Sea. . . an animal is heard to roar whine-o:YES, I’ve been a bad, bad boy--and you just KNOW I don’t mean it when I say I’m sorry! HAHAAAAH! Several explosions occur on the set as he disappears--compromising the gate on the flood waters. whine-o is heard to howl in pain as a misfire singes his horn. Hinges snap, metal crumples, and suddenly the former campsite is awash. Debris is whooshed around like socks in the Maytag® (logo appears for another fine sponsor) and the waves crash against the Moses rock to the delight of the dehydrated X-ers. The revellers are surprisingly nonplussed by it all, as it simply seems to be a logical part of the grand scheme of things--the drugs, the throbbing music, the depraved behavior, the awesome waves. At this point, a giant clown-head appears--and it seems to be breathing fire! AyaP storms out of the production trailer . . . and then blanches at the sight of it. shakes: I TOLD you all this would SUCK without me!! You and your scab writers--you’ve driven this thing into the ground! You idiot, Aya--even BigBrother2 is a better read than this! You’re in for a mid-season cancellation for sure, asshole! Suddenly, the sky darkens. A swarm of rejects from Monkeyboy Island swoops down upon the camp, terrorizing the less experienced drug-users. A pair of them pins Survivorerist to the ground while another pair wrenches the shoes from his feet. Surv: Noooo! Shakes promised me shoes like his! They’re mine, I tell you! shakes: Surv, you twit--you have no business with those, you don’t know how to use their power! They were in possession of my brother, bakes--and now they’re back where they belong, with ME! (Surv quivers in a heap) Two more fallen monkey-butlers find SnoopySucks, who has been hiding out this whole episode in the camp refuse pile, in an attempt to avoid further lousy lines that refer to her as a male. They stuff her into a basket and fly away with her, to the delight of the cackling clown shakes: RudyRules, RudyRules! Are you frightened? I have your stupid little dog now, and I’m not giving him back until notshakes writes an episode! You boobs will NEVER find out where I’m hiding! (the most evil and lenghthy of laughs ensues) Suddenly, we notice a monkey swinging from the production trailer door. Kismet is inside, frantically trying to figure out how to work the control panel--various dissolves and filters further confuse the picture. AyaP: Ignore that woman behind the door! This is all a joke--get that clown head off the set and cut film! Kismet fumbles frantically with the set-up, as smoke begins to trail from one of the DATs. sleeeve, ever the loyal scout, instinctively grabs a fire bucket from the campsite and rushes to fling it inside the trailer. Kismet:OOOH! You cursed boy! What have you done?!! (she begins to crumple and ooze a foul-smelling smoke) Ohhh--who would’ve thought that such a good little boy could bring down my beautiful wickedness. . . OOOOooohhhhh. . . what a world, what a world. . . . And I didn’t even manage to get Pen enough votes for his comedy gig. . . . AAAAaaaarrggghhhh. . . sleeeve faints dead away, shocked that he didn’t see this coming. In a semi-conscious state, he mutters something. DK looks frantically for an oil can, until GT glares at her ignorance and takes charge GT: He said “boiled ham,” you nit! (before DK can panic about how to open it, GT slices through the lid with the Swiss Army knife--sleeeve is revived by the smell of Spam®) I swear--reality teevee is for people like you, who can’t handle drugs! (glares at DK) IceCat, suddenly sensing an opportunity, looks furtively around and makes a beeline over the hill. He is promptly chased back by a menacing beach ball the size of a Volkswagen®. AyaP stands before Kismet with his mouth agape, then turns to the clown in amazement Ayap: What have you done? You. . . you’ve killed her! . . . shakes: Those are the breaks in Hollowwood, pinhead! POOF!! (shakes disappears) AyaP simply shuts himself in his trailer--presumably to get his head straight by watching an Indians game. And the two missing tribe members? Last seen being pulled from the Red Sea by the EITS chopper--both limp and apparently lifeless. Just when we assume the rave will go on into the wee hours, a benevolent face appears in the clouds--it’s Dalton, and she’s waving her magic peace pipe to spread mellowness to all, undoing the harsh edge the X and all these activities have caused. . . The revellers stare up in unison. Dalton: Listen up, you a-holes--Dalton ain’t finished with you, yet! Didn’t I tell you not to mess with Mother Nature? Well, in light of all the crap that’s gone down here today, I’m going to take it easy on you, because that’s the kind of good-natured girl I am--if only you’d had the brains to find it out before you booted my ass! Now get your heads in this game--and win it for the WOMEN! (Dalton disappears in a flash of lightning) ******************************************************************* Come time for TC, the Blowsvivors are still pretty much immobilized, enjoying the mellow at the end of their highs. The mood is broken by AyaP, once again exploding from his trailer, cell phone in hand. AyaP: Time to get your heads out of your collective asses, you losers--do you even have a remote clue as to what you’re supposed to be doing about now?! (barely inquisitive looks are cast about) Time for a VOTE--remember? You people really are hopeless. Well, lucky for you, we’ve had another catastrophe, and you’ve been spared having to make a decision in your sorry state. In case you haven’t noticed, your little group is two short--I’ve just been told the slut and the dyke were washed away in the wrath of the rhino. They didn’t even have the courtesy to pull a Skupin while a cameraman was nearby--this is gonna suck for the ratings! Can anyone lay their hands on their personal effects? (Survivorerist clutches their 8 X 10s, getting tears all over Schick’s) Give me those. (AyaP rips them from his hands) This makes for a terrific Tribal Council, doesn’t it?! (Aya glares into the camera, brandishing the pix in his fist) Well, here you go, America--double carnage for the price of one! (he rips their photos into small pieces and flings them with some force at the camera lens) If I EVER take on this kind of responsibility again, somebody be so kind as to SHOOT ME, okay?! (Charlton Heston nods in assention as AyaP wheels around and disappears back into the production trailer) The castaways quickly resume their sprawling on the banks of the Red Sea, and IceCat entertains them all with his furtive sonar blips. ******************************************************************* As the credits roll, we are taken to a scene inside a hospital ward, where Schick and MC are sharing a room. Schick: Man, I’m just glad to be outta that mess. At this point, I’m so disgusted with shakes for getting me into this, I don’t care if I EVER get my fifteen minutes! Yep. . . I think when I get outta here, I’m gonna see if I can’t lure that Viking character with the promise of a round of golf; from what I hear, his wifey sounds like she just could be my cup o’ tea. . . (wicked smirk) MC: Yeah, well I was getting tired of all the dirt and hard work and pointless posing in my underwear. The Bible-thumping got me nowhere in the game and the occasional breast falling out of my clothes did nothing to get me the sex I was after. . . Now that I’m here, I’m thinking I might have better luck with a rich. . . . . . . . . Ooohhhhh! Doooctor! (smiles flirtatiously) A handsome man with lab coat and horn-rimmed glasses smiles back at her. . . Clark: Why, I’m not a doctor--but I could play one on TV! hehehe No ma’am, I’m just here from Hematology--gonna take your blood sample for the night. He smiles disarmingly at the feeble-minded girl, then drops his glasses for the camera. . . and from underneath his lab coat we see a pair of blood-red eyes and hear a heart-stopping rasp VampKira: I TOLD you I’d have my revenge, you BEE-YATCH! hehehehe Supe and Vamps: sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiif! (maniacal laughter as the picture fades to black) ******************************************************************* Back on Monkeyboy Island, a lone figure sits in front of the television--which is tuned to BB2. . . We can also see an iMac® (brought to you by our fine friends at Apple®), which is connected to the live feed of the BB hot tub as the silhouetted figure talks on the phone: skierdude10: . . . I dunnoe abowt the PRizeS, duuuude, but I got the plase to myself an there ain’t no sine o’ that Dalton or noone! Yew gotta cum over heer and hang owt wile we kin! I’m gonna order pizza and innernet PORN! It’s gonna be way KEWL, man--I swear! An’ like bring yer CDs, maaaan--I feel a BUMP cummin’ on! Tune in next time for more farcical entertainment from the people at SeeBS! Same BlowsvivorSign, Same BlowsvivorStation!
GT
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MakeItStop 1098 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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07-17-01, 10:18 AM (EST)
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18. "RE: BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 8 • I Don’t Think We’re in Kansas Any More, SnoopySucks!" |
OK Moonbaby, I NEED to know.
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RudyRules 8360 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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07-16-01, 09:41 PM (EST)
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2. "RE: BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 8 • I Don’t Think We’re in Kansas Any More, SnoopySucks!" |
To the tune of: "If I only had a brain"I would never have signed up,
or on this show wind up,
If I only had a brain! I would go on the Love Cruise,
Where I'd have sex with a lovely flooze,
If I only had a brain! I wouldn't have to dodge a Vamp
or rescue from the river a tramp,
If I only had a brain! These people would all be swept to Sea,
As C. Heston waves to MC,
If I only had a Brain! Seriously(???),
Good episode, if a bit outrageous!
<Running off to save SnoopySucks from the evil Shakes>
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AyatollahKhomeini 2008 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator"
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07-16-01, 09:49 PM (EST)
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3. "Poor Snoopy Sucks!" |
Poor doggy, held hostage by that bad clown. OK, what else do we have going on here...>Survivorerist is distracted by a flash of color peeking out
>from under the corner of what used to be the tent
>(brought to you by our proud sponsors at Coleman!) GT, Coleman was acquired by Sunbeam, and Sunbeam is broke thanks to the inspired leadership of "Chainsaw Al" Dunbar. I'm not sure they could afford a sponsorship ... but what an opportunity for a hijack! Chainsaw Al is one of the great stories in American business; I've hated this bozo for years and wrote a paper once that called him the biggest phony in American business, back in the days when he was still riding high. Imagine my delight to find this story today in the NY Times (and I don't apologize for its length one bit): ******
An Executive's Missing Years: Papering Over Past Problems
By FLOYD NORRIS
NY Times, July 16, 2001, page A1
For the young executive, it must have appeared that his world was falling apart. He had landed a job running a company despite being fired by his previous employer. But then he was fired again, with the company's board accusing him of overseeing a huge accounting fraud. Twenty years later, that executive, Albert J. Dunlap, was famous. As the chief executive of a major consumer products company, Sunbeam (news/quote), he was firing thousands of workers and wowing Wall Street. His memoir became a best seller. Along the way, Mr. Dunlap erased both jobs from his employment history. No one who checked his background discovered the omissions. But his soaring career soon crashed. He was fired by Sunbeam in 1998 and confronted with fraud allegations — accusations remarkably similar to the ones he had faced two decades before. In both cases, amazingly high profits were reported and used to justify big payouts to Mr. Dunlap, only to have auditors later conclude the profits were fictitious. Neither Sunbeam nor the Securities and Exchange Commission, both of which claim he acted fraudulently, knew until now that Mr. Dunlap had faced similar allegations a quarter century ago. Those allegations are detailed in court records that The New York Times (news/quote) obtained from the National Archives, where they had been stored for years. Mr. Dunlap declined to comment on whether he had misled employers about his employment history, said his lawyer, Frank Rizzano. The first fraud accusations, which Mr. Dunlap denied when they were made, were never proved, and Mr. Rizzano described them as "old and stale" and of no interest now. Jerry Levin, who succeeded Mr. Dunlap at Sunbeam, disagreed. "We were shocked when we heard about this," he said. "I find it most unusual that anyone could be hired as a chief executive of a major company without having their background thoroughly checked," he added. "This seems to have escaped everyone's attention." Mr. Dunlap has denied doing anything wrong at Sunbeam and has taken the company to arbitration to force it to honor the contract he was given in early 1998, months before he was fired. He is also preparing to defend himself in two court cases, one filed by Sunbeam shareholders and one by the S.E.C. Now 63 and living in Boca Raton, Fla., he has not taken a job since leaving Sunbeam. The similarities between Mr. Dunlap's early troubles and those he faces today are striking. At both the Nitec Paper Corporation, a paper mill he ran during the 1970's, and at Sunbeam, high reported profits led to lucrative deals for Mr. Dunlap. At Nitec, his bosses agreed to pay him $1.2 million. At Sunbeam, they agreed to double his base pay to $2 million a year. "It is remarkably analogous to our situation," Mr. Levin said. Like virtually all major companies seeking a senior executive, Sunbeam relied on an executive search firm to find the best person for the job. Daniel Margolis, a spokesman for Korn/ Ferry International (news/quote), said his firm "conducted an exhaustive search that resulted in the Sunbeam board selecting Dunlap." When asked how the firm had missed the holes in Mr. Dunlap's employment history, he said, "It is our policy not to comment on our clients' business issues." Sunbeam has filed a bankruptcy reorganization plan that would hand the company over to its bank creditors, leaving nothing for shareholders or bondholders. The Nitec Years: Reported Profits Turn Into Losses Mr. Dunlap was 36 years old in May 1974 when he became president of Nitec, which operated a paper mill in Niagara Falls, N.Y. Six months earlier, he had been fired by Max Phillips & Son of Eau Claire, Wis., after just seven weeks. Phillips said Mr. Dunlap had neglected his duties and spoken so disparagingly of his boss that he hurt the company's business, court papers show. At first, all went well at Nitec. Not only did the company report small profits in 1974 and 1975, but Mr. Dunlap shared Christmas dinner in both years at the home of Nitec's chief executive, George S. Petty. "Petty and Dunlap appeared to be pretty good friends," recalled Richard Cutting, who audited Nitec's books as a partner at Arthur Young. Profits surged in 1976, and Mr. Dunlap was given credit. But his management style was grating, and on Aug. 30, 1976, he was fired by Mr. Petty, the principal owner of the company. Although he was fired, Mr. Dunlap left Nitec on excellent terms. The fiscal year that was to end a month later was expected to produce profits of almost $5 million. Mr. Petty agreed to have another company he controlled pay $1.2 million for Mr. Dunlap's stake in Nitec, a stake that had cost him only a nominal sum. The money was to be paid in 1979. But weeks after Mr. Dunlap departed, the audit team from Arthur Young concluded that there were no profits. Instead, a loss of $5.5 million was posted. The auditors found evidence of expenses that were left off the books, of overstated inventory and nonexistent sales. Nitec's books had overstated its cash by $201,700. Mr. Petty canceled the agreement to buy Mr. Dunlap's stock, and Mr. Dunlap responded by suing in federal court in New York. Nitec countersued, alleging fraud. That case dragged on for years, as did a related case in which Nitec sought to force an insurance company to pay $2 million on policies it had issued, for $1 million each, to protect the company from misconduct by Mr. Dunlap and Nitec's former financial vice president, Albert J. Edwards. Mr. Edwards at first denied wrongdoing, but later became the chief witness against his former boss. Mr. Edwards, who moved to the United States from his native Britain in his 20's, retained both his accent and "some of the British mannerisms," recalled George Fraas, another of Nitec's outside auditors. He was, said Mr. Cutting, the Arthur Young partner, "a nice, good straight guy and a competent accountant." Mr. Edwards testified that the books had been falsified on orders from Mr. Dunlap, who sometimes would tell him what false entries to make and sometimes would simply tell him how much profits had to increase in a month and leave Mr. Edwards to accomplish it. "He would say, in substance, he wanted X dollars in profit, and go get it," Mr. Edwards testified in an account that strongly resembles the S.E.C. allegations that Mr. Dunlap and his chief financial officer at Sunbeam falsified profits to meet Wall Street expectations. Nitec was a private company, unknown to Wall Street. But Mr. Dunlap needed to satisfy Mr. Petty, who spent much time at other companies he controlled. "Did he tell you why it was necessary to show more profit than you were showing?" Mr. Edwards was asked in his deposition. "Because we were not reflecting what we had forecast we would show," Mr. Edwards replied. By Mr. Edwards's account, Mr. Dunlap always assured him that the exaggerated profits could be made up, and the falsifications thereby concealed, when results improved later. "I asked Mr. Dunlap how he felt that you could improve sales one month on the financial statements and hope to have it covered by the end of the year," he testified. "His response in the case of sales was always, `We are improving our sales department,' that we will gain the extra sales back by the months to come and by year-end we will have it nicely straightened out," he said. Mr. Dunlap advised him, "Don't worry about it," he added. Mr. Dunlap testified he had never told Mr. Edwards to do anything but report accurate numbers. The only time he asked that a number be changed, he said, was when he saw a profit figure that seemed to be too large and suggested it be checked. An error was discovered, Mr. Dunlap said, and the number was reduced. Nitec management also claimed in court that the accounting fraud had masked serious operating problems. It claimed that a new production process, purchased from a company that had paid for a trip to Las Vegas for Mr. Dunlap, was responsible for a sharp decline in the quality of an important product, the toilet paper that Nitec made for the A.& P. grocery chain. A.& P. had canceled its purchases after complaining of poor quality. Mr. Dunlap denied that process had lowered quality, and said the Las Vegas trip had not influenced him. Mr. Cutting, then Nitec's outside auditor, recalled examining the toilet paper on a visit to the Nitec plant. "I told him this was like telephone-book toilet paper," Mr. Cutting said in a recent interview. "He did not take well to that," he said, adding, "He was assertive about how wonderful he was." Nitec said Mr. Dunlap's firing reflected conflicts with colleagues. "There were growing and increasing personal difficulties between Dunlap and the other senior members of Nitec's management," Mr. Petty said in papers filed in court. "These difficulties had become so serious that virtually all of Nitec's senior management below Dunlap threatened to resign en masse if Dunlap remained at Nitec." Mr. Dunlap, in his deposition, said he had done nothing wrong. He never conceded that the profit numbers he had reported were incorrect, and disclaimed any responsibility if they were. "I did not have a strong financial background," he said, adding that he received financial reports from Mr. Edwards and passed them on to Mr. Petty, sometimes without even reading them. How many did he read? "Maybe half, maybe a third," he said. He dismissed Mr. Edwards's testimony as "outrageously false" and said he thought Mr. Petty was simply trying to depress earnings so he could buy Mr. Dunlap's stock for very little. "If they could make it look bad, Mr. Petty could come in and buy a bigger share," he testified. Mr. Dunlap's lawyers suggested that the company had just taken an "accounting bath" by choosing to use different accounting methods. The case dragged on for years, with Mr. Dunlap enduring 38 days of depositions. In 1982, Nitec filed for bankruptcy. The mill was seized by the city of Niagara Falls for nonpayment of taxes and remained closed for years. It was eventually reopened by Cascades Inc. (news/quote), a Canadian paper company, and now employs 140 people, a fraction of the 700 who worked there when Nitec ran the plant. When the bankruptcy was finally settled in 1994, creditors collected pennies on the dollar. Nitec's legal battles with Mr. Dunlap ended inconclusively. In July 1983, Nitec told the bankruptcy court that it would cost $600,000 to bring the case to trial, money that the company did not have. The case was settled with Mr. Dunlap being paid $50,000, an amount that was far less than his lawyer's bills. The case seeking recovery from the insurance company was dropped. Had the case gone to trial, Nitec would have faced some obstacles. Mr. Edwards testified that all the orders to alter the books had been oral, and did not mention any documents directing alterations. Moreover, in an earlier deposition in a suit between Nitec and a supplier, Mr. Edwards had denied any role in rigging the books. Under cross-examination by Mr. Dunlap's lawyers, he stuck to his testimony that the books had been falsified on Mr. Dunlap's orders, but did not explain the discrepancy with his earlier testimony. Mr. Dunlap had sued Max Phillips after he was fired, and that suit was more successful than his later one against Nitec. Phillips eventually agreed to pay him $55,000, which included $10,000 for breach of Mr. Dunlap's three-year contract, $30,000 for unspecified personal injuries and $15,000 for "all damages to Mr. Dunlap's reputation and good will in the industry." Officials of Max Phillips did not return phone calls seeking comment. Growing Reputation: A Memoir Omits Unpleasant Facts By the time Nitec's bankruptcy case was closed in 1994, Mr. Dunlap had become chief executive of Scott Paper, where he fired thousands of workers and gained a reputation as a determined cost-cutter. After leaving Scott, he wrote his autobiography, "Mean Business," which became a best seller after he joined Sunbeam. "Most C.E.O.'s are ridiculously overpaid," he wrote in the book, "but I deserved the $100 million I took away when Scott merged with Kimberly-Clark (news/quote)." The book discussed his time at Sterling Pulp and Paper, where he worked before Max Phillips, and at American Can, which he joined after being fired from Nitec. But it did not mention Max Phillips or Nitec. Nor did it mention the Manville Corporation, which he joined in 1982 and left the same year. But that job, from which former associates say he was fired, was known to later employers. Scott retained Spencer Stuart, an executive search firm, when it was looking for a new chief executive. Like Korn/Ferry two years later, Spencer Stuart did not discover the omissions in Mr. Dunlap's employment history. Asked about its work, Spencer Stuart issued a statement. "Mr. Dunlap made no reference to holding any jobs between working for Sterling Pulp and Paper and American Can," it said. "If, in fact, he was employed by others during that period, he concealed that information from us." The firm added that it had talked to many people who had worked with Mr. Dunlap at previous jobs, but "did not believe that his record prior to American Can was relevant to the Scott Paper assignment." The firm continued, "We are confident that the portrait we developed and presented to Scott Paper reflected his pertinent experience and executive talents." It would have been possible to learn that Mr. Dunlap's résumé was inaccurate. American Can knew he had worked at Nitec, and included it in a 1981 news release, still available on electronic retrieval services, announcing a promotion. And Mr. Dunlap was quoted in a number of publications while he was at Nitec. (One of Nitec's allegations, in fact, was that Mr. Dunlap had used company funds "to conduct a personal publicity and self-glorification campaign.") Different Paths: Witness in Case Is Less Fortunate While Mr. Dunlap prospered in the years after Nitec accused him of fraud, the chief witness against him was not so fortunate. After being fired from Nitec, Mr. Edwards moved to Dallas, leaving his family in Buffalo. In Dallas, he moved from apartment to apartment and, when Nitec sued him, chose to represent himself because, he said, he could not afford a lawyer. "He appeared to be a very nice guy, a smart man," said Thomas P. Earls, a Dallas lawyer who accompanied Mr. Edwards to some of his deposition sessions but did not represent him. "If he had not been so likable, I would not have tried to help him." An extensive effort to locate Mr. Edwards, who would now be in his mid-60's, was unsuccessful. "I last saw him nine years ago," said Annette Cohen of Avon, Conn., a daughter. At that time, she said, he was back in the Buffalo area. Two years ago, Ms. Cohen said, she and her mother tried to locate him after the death of his brother, but were unable to find him. Others who had dealt with Mr. Dunlap at Nitec noted his rise to celebrity but did not speak up about his past. "I sort of wondered why Nitec never came up," said Mr. Cutting, now retired from Arthur Young, which has merged to become Ernst & Young. "But it would have been inappropriate of me to bring it up." Mr. Petty said he was just too busy with his companies to discuss Mr. Dunlap during those years. But his wife, Ginger, said her husband was afraid that Mr. Dunlap would sue them again. The closest she came to speaking out publicly was three years ago, Mrs. Petty recalled. "I was taking my daughter to a private school in New Jersey," she said, and decided to visit West Point on the way. At the visitors center, she recalled, they saw a film that praised two great graduates of the United States Military Academy, Gen. Douglas MacArthur and Mr. Dunlap. "I had a fit," she said, and complained to the staff at the visitors center. She was told to write to the commandant if she thought the film was wrong, but did not do so for fear that Mr. Dunlap would learn of her complaint and perhaps file suit. Now she is taking pleasure in Mr. Dunlap's problems. "What goes around," she said, "eventually does come around." ****************** Facts do not have to be dull, and American business has more stories like this than your average soap opera! I'll put the rest of my comments into a separate post.
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Kismet 802 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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07-17-01, 12:06 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: Ugh" |
But see that's your age showing. You were a grown up when Little House was on. I was a little girl and I loved it. It's also a gender thing I think. Pen only got one television station growing up and when Little House would come on all three boys would make fun of the show just to tick their mom off. The books are much better than the television series. I remember thinking it would be soo cool to grow up in that time period(which I'm sure you remember AK  ). In one of the books they slaughtered a pig and they got to play with the bladder because MA blew it up and tied a string around it. *Ahem* AK wrote: "I'm not sure they could afford a sponsorship ... but what an opportunity for a hijack!" So you weren't trying to hijack? *wink* Kismet
--who writes a note to herself reminding her to buy AK's girls the Little House Collection for Christmas.
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AyatollahKhomeini 2008 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator"
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07-16-01, 09:51 PM (EST)
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4. "Part 2 (after the hijack)" |
LAST EDITED ON 07-16-01 AT 09:52 PM (EST)OK, back to BlowsVivor: >OFG & GT: singingOh, Womaaaan is the nigger of
>the woooorld, yes she is, if you don’t believe me, take
>a look at the one you’re with. Womaaaan is the
>slave to the slaaaave, yeah. . . OK, anyone who would subject the rest of their tribe to this John and Yoko crap deserves to be voted off. I expected better!
And, just in case we don't see the parallels between GT and Dicque, look at these two challenges: RC:
>Soon after this outburst, GT gives a wink in several directions
>and abandons the game, citing her old knee injury and
>sinus headache from bending over. IC:
>The two make a half-assed attempt at competing, then GT smiles
>and loses her balance. Oh, GT? When Dicque threw the challenge, he had analyzed that he was the best option for the finals for each of the remaining players. Does that describe you ... or have we started to see hubris set in? You know what the Greeks said about that! >At this point, a thunderous sound and flurry of movement
>appears on the bed of the Red Sea. . . an
>animal is heard to roar
>
>whine-o:YES, I’ve been a bad, bad boy--and you just KNOW
>I don’t mean it when I say I’m sorry! HAHAAAAH! I LOVED this disaster, and all of the stuff that followed! Excellent! >shakes: I TOLD you all this would SUCK without me!! You
>and your scab writers--you’ve driven this thing into the
>ground! You idiot, Aya--even BigBrother2 is
>a better read than this! You’re in for a mid-season
>cancellation for sure, asshole! I seem to remember this scene... >IceCat, suddenly sensing an opportunity, looks
>furtively around and makes a beeline over the hill. He
>is promptly chased back by a menacing beach ball the
>size of a Volkswagen®. ROLFMAO! Thanks for writing my pal Rover in! But ... if Kismet is gone, who is #1? >AyaP simply shuts himself in his trailer--presumably to get his
>head straight by watching an Indians game. Much better than the Marlins or Devil Rays, I assure you... >Dalton: Now get your heads in this game--and
>win it for the WOMEN! I wonder, considering the new gender mix (4 men, 3 women) -- but you never know... >AyaP: If I EVER take on this kind of responsibility
>again, somebody be so kind as to SHOOT ME, okay?!
>(Charlton Heston nods in assention as AyaP wheels around and
>disappears back into the production trailer) Got that right! Now I have to figure out how to fulfill the contract for 14 episodes -- I don't want to end up like Chainsaw Al, on the front page of the NY Times after leading the BlowsVivor Entertainment Group ("BEG") into bankruptcy...
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VampKira 4433 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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07-17-01, 00:16 AM (EST)
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10. "RE: BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 8 • I Don’t Think We’re in Kansas Any More, SnoopySucks!" |
Buwwaahhh!!!!! Go GT!!! Woo Hoo!! I loved it! All of it! I knew that TART was gunna git hers! ROTF!! Ok... well, I was HOPING! Awesome job!!  
---------------------------------
"Let's spend the night together,
You'll wake up and live forever."
-Jamiroquai
---------------------------------
Du ar min hjälte, Supermänniska 
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VampKira 4433 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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07-17-01, 03:41 AM (EST)
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12. "RE: BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 8 • I Don’t Think We’re in Kansas Any More, SnoopySucks!" |
*grins contentedly... yet with a bit of evil on the side*
---------------------------------
"Let's spend the night together,
You'll wake up and live forever."
-Jamiroquai
---------------------------------
Du ar min hjälte, Supermänniska
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Kismet 802 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Fitness Correspondent"
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07-17-01, 07:01 AM (EST)
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14. "RE: BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 8 • I Don’t Think We’re in Kansas Any More, SnoopySucks!" |
LAST EDITED ON 07-17-01 AT 07:03 AM (EST)NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! You Suck GT! At least you could have had AK get me with his evil plan! Oh and just for the record I do NOT smell foul. I smell like Vanilla! The Witch is the one who melts not the wizard you fruit loop! Kismet-
Who storms back to the OT board to rebuild her armies. Edited to say "nice summary" between gritted teeth. *ouch!*
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ItzLisa 3350 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Car Show Celebrity"
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07-17-01, 07:19 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 8 • I Don’t Think We’re in Kansas Any More, SnoopySucks!" |
LAST EDITED ON 07-17-01 AT 09:22 AM (EST)WOOOO HOOOO, GT Sistah!!! Thank you for my eeeeeevil cameo appearance, dahling! Actually, on behalf of all crazy kids of Monkeyboy Island, thanks for giving us our say - AWESOME revenge ending with Supe and Vamps!!! Now bring back SnoopySucks to RudyRules - I always had a soft spot for Toto! Edit to add: Evidently, when AyaK hijacks a thresd, he means BUSINESS, baby!!!! ****************************************
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MakeItStop 1098 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Politically Incorrect Guest"
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07-19-01, 09:32 AM (EST)
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49. "RE: BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 8 • I Don’t Think We’re in Kansas Any More, SnoopySucks!" |
Oh stop over reacting you guys. It was only a joke!!!
I just used it this one time. And I'm not evil. I guess I just like to stir up a little trouble.
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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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07-17-01, 10:34 AM (EST)
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19. "That does it! I Quit!!!" |
Just kidding, lol!!! Congrats, GT, an excellent and a wild episode, loved every bit of it! Damn it, though, you actually succeeded where all the other writers failed, now I really do have a big hole in my episode map! AAAUUUUUUGGGHHHH!!! Seriously, this was great! Thank God BlowsVivor is turning out to be a whole lot more unpredictable than a real "Survivor." Poor Kissy, what a pity, I had a cunning plan you see... ah well, back to the drawing board."If the race of man should be left naked upon a desert island, we should become extinct in six weeks. A few individuals might linger, but in a year would become worse than hippies." (Samuel Butler, "Erewhon")
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SherpaDave 8324 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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07-17-01, 01:15 PM (EST)
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25. "RE: BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 8 • I Don’t Think We’re in Kansas Any More, SnoopySucks!" |
Finally got my head in a place where I was ready to read this, and boy am I glad I did. Really excellent, Jeet (although I, too, wonder how Aya's gonna meet the full schedule of episodes down an extra contestant).
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George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest"
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07-17-01, 02:08 PM (EST)
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28. "RE: Blowsvivor Blows!" |
Awwwww. . . poor Schickie. . . you and Mon really bore the brunt of this--and without as much face time as you should've had! At least we've seen that being relegated to Monkeyboy Island opens up all kinds of opportunity for fleshing out your characters in the way YOU see fit! And if all fails, you've still got QVC.Kis--I also loved Victor French!! (except for the times he hit the bottle and bummed everyone out so badly) Even better was Denver Pyle as Mad Jack on Grizzly Adams--now THERE'S a curmudgeon! Almost named my son Number Seven, after his mule. (Of course, nothing compares with his Briscoe Darling. . .) Aya--I sure hope you really aren't pissed off at me for creating such a Freak Out. . . We ARE on a movie lot, we DID have the drugs (no--it wasn't PCP. . . note the deydration and oral fixations?), and if it's any consolation, I don't think notshakes is interested in writing for "a show that only has 4 people watching it. . ." And the Dicque references? OUCH! That hurt!! coonhead--I had no idea you'd have such problems. . . I figured once Pépé was gone, your whole plan would be shitcanned anyway. . . I'm quite sure you'll do GREAT with whatever OFG leaves you; anyone who can come up with The Gufu Thread is an obvious literary genius. And OFG--as my editor, I see no reason to bear a grudge for the Yoko stuff. . . it was there, plain as day (who else could write such femininist claptrap?!) and you just plain missed it! Did you also miss our Grace Slick-at-Woodstock impersonations?ROFL! As for Kis and her supposed demise, I will remind you all that nothing is for sure on BV--but I'd look out for that eBug, if I were you. . . She's had something in the works for quite a while, and just may be the #1 you're looking for. . . 
GT
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AyatollahKhomeini 2008 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator"
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07-17-01, 03:36 PM (EST)
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30. "RE: Blowsvivor Blows!" |
>Awwwww. . . poor Schickie. . . you and Mon really
>bore the brunt of this--and without as much face time
>as you should've had! At least we've seen that being
>relegated to Monkeyboy Island opens up all kinds of opportunity
>for fleshing out your characters in the way YOU see
>fit! And if all fails, you've still got QVC. Agreed. I don't think we've seen the last of Monkeyboy Island. In fact, I have the feeling that several of the people left in the game will be wishing shortly that they were there. >Kis--I also loved Victor French!! (except for the times he hit
>the bottle and bummed everyone out so badly) Hmmm, maybe this is a gender thing regarding Little House. >Aya--I sure hope you really aren't pissed off at me for
>creating such a Freak Out. I kept expecting the ghosts of FZ and Lowell George to show up. But I was glad to see Rover's appearance --- I had edited Rover out of the summary and thought it might not make it into BlowsVivor at all. >. . We ARE on a movie lot, we DID have the drugs (no--it wasn't
>PCP. . . note the deydration and oral fixations?) You're right -- no PCP here. >if it's any consolation, I don't think notshakes is interested
>in writing for "a show that only has 4 people watching it. . ." All kidding aside, I'm OK with losing two characters, and I don't need to get rid of any writers or episodes (but how I'm going to do it is still my secret). >And the Dicque references? OUCH! That hurt!! BUT what other reference could be made to someone who deliberately and obviously gives up in challenges? Only one: Sue. Would you have preferred that one? I do think that GT the writer has made GT the character into a natural target for the AA alliance ... of course, there may not be an AA alliance any more without Chick ... I guess we'll find out in E9. >coonhead--I had no idea you'd have such problems. . . I
>figured once Pépé was gone, your whole plan would be
>shitcanned anyway. . . I'm quite sure you'll do GREAT
>with whatever OFG leaves you; anyone who can come up
>with The Gufu Thread is an obvious literary genius. I also think dabo will do quite well ... and, as you say below, GT, all may not be as it seems. >And OFG--as my editor, I see no reason to bear a
>grudge for the Yoko stuff. . . it was there,
>plain as day (who else could write such femininist claptrap?!)
>and you just plain missed it! OFG must have been fortunate enough to miss Yoko during her formative years. You and I weren't so lucky, GT. >As for Kis and her supposed demise, I will remind you
>all that nothing is for sure on BV--but I'd look
>out for that eBug, if I were you. . . She's had something in >the works for quite a while, and just may be the
>#1 you're looking for. . . Unlike Patrick McGoohan, I already have a #1 in mind, and it isn't some dumb twist about our darker natures...
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Outfrontgirl 6830 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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07-17-01, 04:14 PM (EST)
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32. "RE: Blowsvivor Blows!" |
>Agreed. I don't think we've
>seen the last of Monkeyboy
>Island. In fact, I
>have the feeling that several
>of the people left in
>the game will be wishing
>shortly that they were there. Two words-- Uh and Oh >Hmmm, maybe this is a gender
>thing regarding Little House. Another show I boycotted as "uncool" at the time. >>Aya--I sure hope you really aren't pissed off at me for
>>creating such a Freak Out. Freak Out? But where was Frank, Suzy Creancheese? >I kept expecting the ghosts of
>FZ and Lowell George to
>show up. OMG <click> Lowell George. I love him. Please AyaK, hijack a thread sometime with all the facts you know about Lowell.
*Runs to pull out early Little Feat albums, "Thanks, I'll Eat it Here" and puts on Jackson Browne's "Of Missing Persons" because she just wants to cry it's too sad that he died on both his daughter's birthday and the Fourth of July... >was glad to see Rover's
>appearance --- I had edited
>Rover out of the summary
>and thought it might not
>make it into BlowsVivor at
>all. GT just beat me to it! >>We ARE on a movie lot, we DID have the drugs (no--it wasn't
>>PCP. . . note the deydration and oral fixations?)
>
>You're right -- no PCP here. LOL, I had the temerity to question GT in chat last night as to whether it wasn't some more reality-bending drug, but she had her X symptoms all thought out. She said it was just the darned old movies acting up...apparently they're used to having the run of that remote back lot and didn't mind hijacking our show one bit. >>if it's any consolation, I don't think notshakes is interested
>>in writing for "a show that only has 4 people watching it. . ." Ummm, GT, it was Shakes in chat who said only 4 people still watch it. I don't remember him speaking for Not Shakes, who is such a DAW and an unknown writer I'm sure he'll jump at the chance. >All kidding aside, I'm OK with
>losing two characters, and I
>don't need to get rid
>of any writers or episodes
>(but how I'm going to
>do it is still my
>secret). Good to know. Too bad he hasn't shared with this writer. >>And the Dicque references? OUCH! That hurt!!
>
>BUT what other reference could be
>made to someone who deliberately
>and obviously gives up in
>challenges? Only one: Sue.
> Would you have preferred
>that one?
>
>I do think that GT the
>writer has made GT the
>character into a natural target
>for the AA alliance ...
>of course, there may not
>be an AA alliance any
>more without Chick ...
>I guess we'll find out
>in E9. Well, Chick was always part of the Canadian AA group and once she lost Pepe and RR said he wasn't Canadian, she had to rely on her sex appeal to the girls... and it did her in. GT doesn't like being hit on by girls. She wants a man in kilts, damnit! >>coonhead--I had no idea you'd have such problems. . . I
>>figured once Pépé was gone, your whole plan would be
>>shitcanned anyway. . . I'm quite sure you'll do GREAT
>>with whatever OFG leaves you; anyone who can come up
>>with The Gufu Thread is an obvious literary genius. Nobody but nobody has done more advance planning than dabo, and see what it's done to him. He's already written and shitcanned 4 episodes at least. >and, as you say below, GT, all may not be as it seems. To repeat, uh-oh. >OFG must have been fortunate enough
>to miss Yoko during her
>formative years. You and
>I weren't so lucky, GT. See the response below. I was writing it while you posted this. >Unlike Patrick McGoohan, I already have
>a #1 in mind, and
>it isn't some dumb twist
>about our darker natures... Evil, AyaK's evil, I tell you... Ever wonder why he doesn't use a sig pic? Buwahhahaha!
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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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07-18-01, 02:08 PM (EST)
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44. "RE: Blowsvivor Blows!" |
>Two words-- Uh and Oh No kidding. What can I replace "Woman is the Nigger of the World" with that won't seem like I'm just redoing what GT already did? >>All kidding aside, I'm OK with
>>losing two characters No, count again, it was two players and two others, four characters she sent bye-bye! >>>coonhead--I had no idea you'd have such problems. . . I
>>>figured once Pépé was gone, your whole plan would be
>>>shitcanned anyway. . . I'm quite sure you'll do GREAT
>>>with whatever OFG leaves you; anyone who can come up
>>>with The Gufu Thread is an obvious literary genius. I appreciate the compliments in that but, honestly, it was never vital to me which players I was left with, I had gags ready for each of them. The problem now is the plot centered on the idea of having seven players and a power imbalance, the dynamics are drastically different with only six players and a potential Mexican standoff. I can still go ahead and use most of it, but how I'm going to fix-up the thing for the altered circumstances means going back to the beginning and going through everything again ... Hey, that could be fun! >Nobody but nobody has done more
>advance planning than dabo, and
>see what it's done to
>him. He's already written
>and shitcanned 4 episodes at
>least. lol. It's all going to be anticlimactic after ep 10, is there anyone who isn't anticipating it anxiously?! >To repeat, uh-oh.
>
>>OFG must have been fortunate enough
>>to miss Yoko during her
>>formative years. You and
>>I weren't so lucky, GT.
>
As a proud owner of an actual copy of Yoko Ono "Plastic Ono Band" all I can say is it's all in your perspective. >Ever wonder why he doesn't use
>a sig pic? Buwahhahaha! No, can't say I ever did. "If the race of man should be left naked upon a desert island, we should become extinct in six weeks. A few individuals might linger, but in a year would become worse than monkeys." (Samuel Butler, "Erewhon")
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Drive My Car 20045 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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07-18-01, 12:01 PM (EST)
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40. "AYaK?" |
I don't think I understood GT's reference to me, but......Did AK just call me a dumb twist? >>Unlike Patrick McGoohan, I already have a #1 in mind, and it isn't some dumb twist
EBug
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AyatollahKhomeini 2008 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Roller Coaster Inaugurator"
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07-18-01, 12:45 PM (EST)
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41. "Episode 17" |
No, EBug, I wasn't referring to you at all. The 17th and last episode of The Prisoner, entitled "Fall Out", was written and directed by Patrick McGoohan (the star and egomaniac-in-chief) after he had driven most of his collaborators to quit the show. McGoohan wanted to reveal #1 (the "ruler" of the prison that was The Village), but he had no idea what to do (after all, the show wasn't his idea in the first place).What he ultimately did was to have the prisoner (#6, his character) meet a hooded figure. When #6 pulled off the hood, he found a chattering chimpanzee mask; when he pulled off that mask, he found himself. McGoohan's muddled idea apparently was that the "prison" was to be found within, in man's animal nature -- a sort of Jekyll-and-Hyde concept with little coherence in the context of The Prisoner. The ending has always been the major blight on The Prisoner ... and I don't want to replicate such a creative failure in the context of BlowsVivor. EBug, if you are able to become an evil overlord, more power to you. Just don't let Patrick McGoohan touch the finale!
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Outfrontgirl 6830 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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07-17-01, 03:40 PM (EST)
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31. "Woodstock and tabouli" |
LAST EDITED ON 07-17-01 AT 05:07 PM (EST)>>And OFG--as my editor, I see no reason to bear a grudge for the Yoko stuff. . . it was there, plain as day (who else could write such femininist claptrap?!) and you just plain missed it! No grudges, I don't bear no stinking grudges! I suppose it's plain if Yoko Ono even blips on one's mental radar, but I always tried to ignore her. That woman broke up the Beatles and they were my first real crush! >>Did you also miss our Grace Slick-at-Woodstock impersonations? Oh dear, I did miss that. In fact, I missed Woodstock. I was in Taos at the time running a store that sold rice and beans to communes. One of those communes, the Hog Farm, drove off in their schoolbus to do the catering for Woodstock. When they came back, they'd been paid with like a ton of bulgur wheat in bulk bags (I kid you not). They brought it to our store and asked what the hell they were supposed to with it, and would we trade if for rice? So we did, and no one ever bought it because no one knew how to cook it. This was before people were making tabouli. In fact, maybe that's what started the tabouli movement amongst hippie cooks... What did Grace do at Woodstock besides sing? Now I was at Altamont to see her lead the Airplane on after a Hell's Angel knocked Marty Balin cold, but that whole Altamont incident's a little fuzzy in my memory... ...kinda like my memory of what happened in Ep. 8. Hey, do I have to wear that gross Condom necklace until the next TC? I think I should be able to keep it until the next vote; I won immunity damn it, and what good did it do me, huh? Finally, to all you worried-about-SnoopySucks softies: jeez, now it's my job to find the little dog, with this hangover? She's gone, I tell you, so get over it! I always wanted to hijack a thread just a little... Edited to add:for anyone who's calculating my age by this history, I left home (and got married) at age 16. Not that there's anything wrong with being older... 
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dangerkitty 1913 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Herbal Healing Drugs Endorser"
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07-17-01, 02:18 PM (EST)
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29. "RE: BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 8 • I Don’t Think We’re in Kansas Any More, SnoopySucks!" |
GT, this is a frikken masterpiece! I am soooo impressed, woman!! What a great job, I love so much about it. I'd like to expound on it more later, when I have a little more time to do it justice. But I had to get my "well done" post in, you deserve it! So great, sistah!!! Wowowowowowowowowow!!!!!!
"Whatever charm school you went to, you should demand a full refund."
-a guy at my dojo, after I offered to kick his butt during sparring (he thought it wasn't very 'ladylike').
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GG 142 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Blistex Spokesperson"
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07-17-01, 06:45 PM (EST)
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34. "RE: BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 8 • I Don’t Think We’re in Kansas Any More, SnoopySucks!" |
This is good George.Very good, in fact. Alright, it's bleedin' excellent. Happy now? Oh, and since you included me AND it was flattering(ish)....free frankfurter for you at the bar and grill next time ¬GG¬
*who likes droll, ta very much
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George Tirebiter 2982 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Howard Stern Show Guest"
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07-17-01, 08:18 PM (EST)
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35. "RE: BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 8 • I Don’t Think We’re in Kansas Any More, SnoopySucks!" |
LAST EDITED ON 07-17-01 AT 08:20 PM (EST)ROFLMAO! Why, GG!--you DO like "slithery!" Bless your heart. . . Nice gams, by the way. And I like my frankfurter with a good quantity of RELISH. *hug for the smartass--with a complimentary grope*
GT
Edited for lack of an asterisk. . . 
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VampKira 4433 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Jerry Springer Show Guest"
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07-18-01, 01:47 AM (EST)
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36. "RE: BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 8 • I Don’t Think We’re in Kansas Any More, SnoopySucks!" |
I think... I have.. created.. a ... MONSTER!!! *evil grin*
---------------------------------
"Let's spend the night together,
You'll wake up and live forever."
-Jamiroquai
---------------------------------
Du ar min hjälte, Supermänniska
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dabo 25344 desperate attention whore postings
DAW Level: "Playboy Centerfold"
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07-18-01, 10:16 PM (EST)
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47. "RE: BLOWSVIVOR EPISODE 8 • I Don’t Think We’re in Kansas Any More, SnoopySucks!" |
>GT: It is just too
>fucking early for this kind
>of sh¡t. . . I
>say we fire up Goldie
>before we even think about
>breakfast.
>
Ah, so that's the trick, hehehehehe!>Damn, ever since she got that
>Playboy centerfold, no one even
>cares about my hopes for
>a Victoria’s Secret shoot! I’m
>NEVER going to get sex
>here, I just know they’re
>editing me wrong!And I’m not
>so sure you’re wrong about
>her. . . have you
>noticed she’s starting to develop
>some suspiciously batty canines?
>
Marcia Marcia Marcia! >Survivorerist: I’m all for that, sleeeve!
>I tell you, I feel
>so close to each and
>every one of you right
>now, you just can’t imagine
>the stress I’m feeling at
>the prospect of having to
>vote against any of you
>tonight! (screws up his face
>in obvious torment--then turns from
>the group and rolls his
>eyes)
>
Perfect! A lot of great stuff in this one but that moment was just Perfect! >Surv and OFG have located AyaP’s
>cooler stash, and are greedily
>picking out the best
>popsicles to enjoy in the
>late afternoon heat. GT joins
>in--and the ladies remove their
>shirts and bask on that
>rock, driving RudyRules and sleeeve
>into apoplexy with their popsicle
>antics.
>
And then it got even Better! >shakes: Surv, you twit--you have no
>business with those, you don’t
>know how to use their
>power! They were in possession
>of my brother, bakes--and
>now they’re back where they
>belong, with ME! (Surv quivers
>in a heap)
>
shakes and bakes! I hit the floor on that one!
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