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""Be The Survivor" S35 Ep09: "Fear The Beard... And Other Unknown Body Hair.""
RollDdice 5848 desperate attention whore postings
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11-22-17, 09:17 PM (EST)
 
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""Be The Survivor" S35 Ep09: "Fear The Beard... And Other Unknown Body Hair."" |
First we spill out our drops of beer (or Survivor sponsored beverage) to commemorate the loss of Desi last week. It's not that she was voted out in a particularly cruel way, but in the words of our own Nasty McBathrooms, "Eye candy is a terrible thing to waste." In the worst-kept-secret category, we have the under the flag idol info shared by Ryan, Devon, Ben, Chrissy, Mr. Roper, Jack and Janet. (Sorry, I just drifted into old school Three's Company territory there. It must be the pre-Thanksgiving Jello™ shots.) Meanwhile, Joe (Russell Hantz Jr.) and Cole (Box o' Rocks) are still in the hot seats and Dr. Mike has decided "It's go big or go home time."
Mark "Fear the weird... contestants" Burnett Remembering Doc... 1/26/1928 - 10/15/2017
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michel2 2378 desperate attention whore postings
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11-23-17, 10:47 PM (EST)
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12. "RE: "Be The Survivor" S35 Ep09: "Fear The Beard... And Other Unknown Body Hair."" |
Well, thank you Aruba. It's all for entertainment.
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kingfish 20020 desperate attention whore postings
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11-23-17, 12:06 PM (EST)
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5. ""Be The" Survivor Island Canadian Charity Association" |
LAST EDITED ON 11-24-17 AT 12:18 PM (EST)So, this at this week's TC, they burned one turkey and another walked the plank, while still another began to gobble it's head off (which is a portentous omen for two weeks from now. We were all thinking it, but you officially heard it here first). And a fourth turkey, this one with the reins, just noticed a dotted line appearing around his neck. Happy Thanksgiving, and we can even send Michel a turkey sandwich. For free even! Complimentary, Aruba and I just pitched in and because we know that the animal rights people in Canada won't let anyone kill a turkey there, thus depriving it's citizens of those wonderful left-over turkey sandwiches. You only need to pay a small handling fee (sorry, no Loonies allowed), which will include the state tax, the city tax, the America leaving tax, the Canadian entry tax, the Montreal English to French language tax, the tip for the American driver which should include US income tax and social security withholding, the tip for the Canadian driver (which should include all the Canadian income related taxes), and of course, the all important Tax Tax. Pay promptly because after the US Tax reform act is passed, you will be required to pay a tax on the Tax Tax. Trump has his eyes on a new golf course in downtown Tokyo, and 300 acres in that real estate market ain't cheap. Need cranberry sauce with that?
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Aruba 2697 desperate attention whore postings
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11-23-17, 10:58 AM (EST)
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2. "RE: "Be The Survivor" S35 Ep09: "Fear The Beard... And Other Unknown Body Hair."" |
After back-to-back solid episodes, this one was lackluster by comparison. Asking Production for a threepeat was too much to ask. AHHHH, but no shortage of observations, determinations, and conclusions by the Aruba Commission.FINDING #1 – Given his performance at the reward challenge, the United States Armed Forces can breathe a sigh of relief that Ben served his country as a Marine...not a Navy SEAL. FINDING #2 – With the NFL players having the audacity to showcase themselves as advocates against “social injustices” even though a woman gets knocked out cold in an elevator at an Atlantic City casino along with others implicated in the most severe cases of injustice—Murder; let’s add Sluggo Joe to the list having the audacity to label Ashley as the “ideal definition of a GOAT.”
Hello Pot...Meet Kettle! FINDING #3 – The Aruba Commission has officially nominated Mike for the worst idol play in Survivor history and could very well be the odds on favorite to take that “honor.” He proceeded to add comic relief to the confusion when he informed Joe to “follow his lead.” FINDING #4 – Keeping up with some fans still insisting embellishment = call back, the epitome of embellishment was achieved this episode with Ryan, Ashley, Ben, and Devon when all dropped their pants and flashed a moon. The Commission is prepared to take bets that more than half of them do NOT get called back despite that silly claim some use to justify those acting like asses...pardon the pun. FINDING #5 – The Commission is impressed with the originality of the challenges seen on Survivor USA #35 including the one in this past episode. Although the Commission is preparing itself for an astute worldwide fan to contest the originality by revealing a former challenge that involved keeping an object upright with two poles...yet having to shoulder 200 lbs. of weight all while standing on their tippy-toes and contend it is “very similar.” Oh heck...may as well throw in a balance beam for good measure... FINDING #6 – Never has a Jury member looked more dazzling when introduced at TC. The Commission has concluded Desi now ranks as the most beautiful/attractive Survivor ever casted. On a side note...with those spectacular legs she would have kicked butt at this last IC and taken names.
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michel2 2378 desperate attention whore postings
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11-23-17, 08:57 PM (EST)
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11. "RE: "Be The Survivor" S35 Ep09: "Fear The Beard... And Other Unknown Body Hair."" |
I'd think Finding #1 should be about how Ben first promised Ryan not to tell anyone about his idol only to turn around and reveal it to Devon. He certainly wasn't cornered when he lied this time!Finding#2: Wow! Talk about cheap shots! You just insulted thousands of NFL players for a few bad apples. Why concentrate on Ray Rice, OJ Simpson, Aaron Hernandez instead of JJ Watts who just raised $37M for Hurrican relief or the thousands of players who will donate money and their time for sick children and the underprivileged? BTW, wasn't the mass shooting in Florida done by an ex-Military? As for the part that relates to Survivor, Joe is practically alone and cornered by a strong alliance so, according to your reasoning concerning Ben last week, he should be forgiven for using tactics that could help him survive. Up to now, Ashley could very well be seen as a goat because she's simply sliding along. And if acting like a goat gets Joe to second place, $100G isn't a bad payday. Finding #3: Playing the idol wasn't the dumb part because his name was being mentioned. The dumb part was voting against Cole instead of Ben. If all three Healers had voted against Ben and the votes had been split just right, Mike's idol play could have been genius. Finding #4: Loosen up, man! That was the funniest part, make that the only funny part, of the episode. Finding #5: They just had to stand on a log doing nothing for 10 minutes so what was great about it? Next to Cole's exit, it was the most boring part of the night. Finding #6: I'll give you that even if I still prefer Sydney.
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Aruba 2697 desperate attention whore postings
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11-26-17, 10:41 AM (EST)
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13. "RE: "Be The Survivor" S35 Ep09: "Fear The Beard... And Other Unknown Body Hair."" |
#1 - The Commission’s primary intent to post Finding #1 was to beat Kingfish to the punch and make him jealous he didn’t think of the Marine/Navy SEAL comparison first. HaHa. Yes, Ben should have kept his mouth shut and just accepted Ryan’s bonehead move to share the idol with him as well instead of using a lie (telling Ryan he wouldn’t tell anyone else) that extracted Ryan’s lie (Ryan’s promise to Devon he was the only one he told his idol find to.)#2 – A couple weeks ago when we bantered about the NFLers I thought we were done...until you brought up the NFL refs to insinuate/infer a “conspiracy” to have it in for certain select players. Talk about a “cheap shot.”
Anyone who thinks the long list of charges filed against NFL players are a “few bad apples” is either delusional or in denial. The Commission determines you’d be hard pressed to find an occupation with a larger percentage of those within the industry (NFL Players and its Union) with a longer list of filed charges. It’s a crying shame for the select few who win the Walter Payton Man of the Year Award. And yes, given his efforts toward the hurricane victims, JJ Watts is the odds on favorite to win that award this year. As for Survivor, the reason Joe is “practically alone” is because of Joe being you are…who you are...who you are... A quintessential obnoxious puck who delivered a “cheap shot” of his own toward Ben. Translation...he only has himself to blame. #3 – What you say is correct. Had Mike and Joe both wrote Ben’s name down it would have been more understandable. When “idol play” is stated it’s not specifically about the mere action of just physically walking up to Jeff and handing him the idol. The basis of WHY the idol was played and whatever strategy was employed leading up to it needs to be included as well. In other words, the means to achieve the end. Granted not all embrace that concept; but with that appropriate assessment noted, the fact that Joe and Mike both ended up voting with the majority to boot Cole, Mike parting with his idol at the last TC was flat out dumbass. #4 – Although the Commission didn’t laugh, that probably was the “funniest” part of Ep. 9. Which just crystalizes how lackluster that episode truly was. #5 – The Commission’s finding wasn’t about “greatness;” it was about originality. Given the long line of recycled challenges, it’s nice to see a first-time challenge. The theme for individual challenges this season appears to be CONCENTRATION. And last episode’s IC was mostly about concentration coupled with the strain on the competitor’s legs. #6 – Who is Sydney?
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michel2 2378 desperate attention whore postings
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11-26-17, 11:32 AM (EST)
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15. "RE: "Be The Survivor" S35 Ep09: "Fear The Beard... And Other Unknown Body Hair."" |
#2: A commission shouldn't use myths but facts. You claim the percentage is hugher in the profession than in others but you have nothing to back this. I'm telling you that most players are great citizens.Joe is alone because that's his tactics. With the Healers strong showing in the tribal portion of the game, the Hustlers-Heroes coalition left him with few other options. Alone, he may slide into the finale like Chris did. Being too likable would hurt him more than anything. #4 No, it was funny and spontaneous. #5: It would be better if the challenges had something to do with Survival... #6: You should be ashamed for forgetting Sydney from Tocantins: 
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Aruba 2697 desperate attention whore postings
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11-26-17, 01:45 PM (EST)
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16. "RE: "Be The Survivor" S35 Ep09: "Fear The Beard... And Other Unknown Body Hair."" |
The Commission has its sources--and it's not based on Spinology.Joe is alone because he's a punk by nature. Keep drinking the Kool-Aid he is serving from his lemonade stand. It's the same drink scores before him served while trying to backpedal from millions and millions of viewers seeing him for what he is. HMMMM, so we go from "scripted" to "spontaneous." If challenges had nothing to do with Survivor, we'd be watching MTV Real World on a tropical island...and NO WAY we'd we tuning in on Season #35. I honestly do not remember Sydney. No way she made Jury because I would have remembered THAT when the Jury was introduced every TC. Actually I have always been more partial to the darker-haired hotties, so as beautiful as Sydney is, I wouldn't be ranking her as my personal most attractive Castaway.
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kingfish 20020 desperate attention whore postings
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11-28-17, 12:15 PM (EST)
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24. "RE: "Be The Survivor" S35 Ep09: "Fear The Beard... And Other Unknown Body Hair."" |
I have not forgotten Sydney.
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kingfish 20020 desperate attention whore postings
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11-23-17, 07:49 PM (EST)
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9. "T'is the silly season" |
This week's spoilers are a lot to process for me, I had to train a new squadron of mail-Armadillos because my old mail-turtles formed a union and went on strike. Same old boring stuff. They seemed to think they weren't my minions and deserved to get paid for delivering the Spoilers every week that are so lovingly scooped up by the super spy gang of Superior Slutty graduates of the Really Really Raunchy Girls Reform School Of Sluts-R-US and Slut Studies (they get extra credit for taking Slut lab and attending Slut Summer Camp), so they organized, formed a union and went on strike. Blahdy Blahdy Blah.So I showed them, by gosh! I went down to the Armadillo, (♪ good country music from Amarillo and Abilene...♫), and hired a group of itinerate 'dillers that were on the corner there. My Super Spy girls overheard me talking to their agent, and I might have accidentally mispronounced something about a new batch of dildos (sort of on purpose accidentally) so they welcomed the new hires to their bosom. Bosoms. Healthy healthy bosoms. The pride of the south. So now we're set up again and in business. My girls are not finicky about who or what they introduce to their bosoms, and truthfully, when they learned how long armidillos tongues are, well, it was hard to get them back out in the field for a few days. But I didn't mind, it's all a part of providing an enjoyable workplace. For me. And here is the newest and the bluest and the truest superfluous spoiler this side of Planet 9. Lickin' Good Spoiler #1: Disgusting! Ryan wants us to guess what he has in his pink shorty shorts. Disgusting! Or, maybe, is it a surprise Vagina? (not so much of a surprise you say?) Lickin' Good Spoiler #2: Mike confesses that he is ready to throw the other healers under the bus. Unfortunately, the silly season infects his thinking and instead of biding his time and quietly insinuating himself into the good graces of the dominate tribe, he opens his mouth at TC and insinuates himself into ranks of the top three very most definitely targeted. Dr. Mike, I thought I knew thee. Apparently he didn't get his tropical Mad Coward vaccine before the show started. Lickin' Good Spoiler #3: Famous stupid words; Ryan - "I trust Devon with my secret about my secret HI. I know he will never tell anyone." Make it a top four list. Lickin' Good Spoiler #4: All the prettiest women have been voted off. Only three feminine females are left, at least two of which are married. Only Ashley is left to appeal to male (and some female) libidos, and I'll admit to a bit of a riser when I was watching her swim. But this is not a good situation. I think it's Michel's fault for coming up with that damn dumb theory of his. I am submitting a Writ of "Beat Him Over His Head" to the Commission over this. Lickin' Good Spoiler #5: This week the Reward Challenge was held out in the ocean. And Jeff generously allowed the losers, the team that did not get a reward of life sustaining sustenance, the opportunity to swim back to their beach afterwards. No boat ride or soup for you. Lickin' Good Spoiler #6: In his confession, Devon claims the game got really complicated for him when he learned that, after Ryan told him he had an HI and that he wouldn't share that secret with anyone else, Ben informed him that Ryan had also confided that secret to him. Iterating: Devon's life on the island is too complicated for his puny mind to comprehend because Ryan told Ben a secret that Ryan had previously told Devon. So, if someone were to tell him that the underside of a rock might be cooler than the upperside, he will spiral out into madness. Lickin' Good Spoiler #7: Desi is lookin' fine.
Nasty McBathrooms
If it's yellow, it's mellow. If it's brown, flush it down. Also run away screaming if it starts to crawl out.
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Aruba 2697 desperate attention whore postings
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11-26-17, 11:11 AM (EST)
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14. "RE: T'is the silly season" |
Geez, why does Kingfish get no love (responses) for his posting???#1 – Not nearly as disgusting as it was for that poor idol! #2 – Yeah...and how that sequence culminating in voted for Cole instead of Ben was bonehead. #3 – Actually I honestly believe Devon would have kept his mouth shut about Ryan’s idol had Ryan not run off and told Ben. Sharing with Ben as well should rank in the top four for stupidity, and as a result, Ben used one of the grenades from his tour of duty to shove down Ryan’s pants, along with that idol, and essentially blew-up his game. #4 – Is Lauren married? I thought she was a single mom. Not that I’m interested mind you...certainly not when we still will be treated to a dose of Desi every episode. As for your requested writ...the Commission will definitely take it up under advisement. #6 – Actually the way this season is shaping up, the simpleminded could have the upper hand here. Not doing a whole lot, sitting back, and allowing the others to self-destruct could be the complacent approach to success. #7 – Just remember who coveted her first while you were tripping on your tongue over Simone and Ali...
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kingfish 20020 desperate attention whore postings
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11-26-17, 11:23 PM (EST)
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18. "RE: T'is the silly season" |
LAST EDITED ON 11-27-17 AT 11:02 AM (EST)Jealousy. Intellectual and creative jealousy. And I am the prettiest.
#1. If that HI had sentience, power, and a sense of smell, Ryan would now have a vagina. #3. Missing the point. Which was that that phrase is famous for being stupid last words. #4. She may not be married. She has mentioned her children. For the sake of and in the spirit of the thread, I inferred. #6. That's not going to garner jury votes. It'll result in a pretty pitiful resume, and with Devon's lack of articulation skills, I doubt he'll be able to puff it up from nothing. #7. If my fate were to be having to settle for Ali and Simone, I wouldn't be unhappy. Actually, that would define extreme winning.
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michel2 2378 desperate attention whore postings
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11-27-17, 09:43 PM (EST)
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19. "RE: T'is the silly season" |
This is so cute! Aruba is acting like he wants to have a showmance with Desi while Kingfish keeps talking about Ali and Simone but what we really have here is a bromance between you two guys!
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Aruba 2697 desperate attention whore postings
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11-27-17, 10:09 PM (EST)
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21. "RE: T'is the silly season" |
If Michel is feeling left out we could have a Menage de Bro...
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michel2 2378 desperate attention whore postings
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11-27-17, 10:46 PM (EST)
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23. "RE: T'is the silly season" |
I'll act like I never read this...
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Aruba 2697 desperate attention whore postings
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11-27-17, 10:08 PM (EST)
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20. "RE: T'is the silly season" |
#6 – You're right; it SHOULDN’T garner any Jury votes if you have a majority of the Jury voting in the true spirit of the game. But we know that does not always happen especially if the majority of voters are disgruntled Bitter Bettys. Then you could have a finalist with a more passive, simple “resume” be handed the million by default.
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