Hello again, it your Pornstachio'd cutie, King Gouldfish, reporting to you thru the magic of your coat hanger assisted AM radio. The reports from my loyal band of daintily and tastefully clad super spy girl sleuths are in and have been tabulated, and I can announce a winner. But I won't, because we are all winners, and we all get trophies. After selling my soul at the polls yesterday (won't say who I voted for because whichever it was, I had to sell a bit of my soul to the devil. It was a black day at in the booth.) and I'm back having lifted my spirits along with a few skirts (Hey, I let them lift mine too. It was mutual consent).
But anyway, these spy girls extraordinaire from the (wait for it...) Super Spy Girls Finishing School for Bikini Bottom Dropping and Custom Dildo Molding, those really really really raunchy girls have the latest and the greatest spoilers, and following are the top stories this week.
Traveling Panty Spoiler #1 - Cringe worthy observation; I must say that it is awfully Gen-X of the editors to show Ken wearing and washing his black socks every week. Also kind of Gen-Xy of Ken to wear them. I mean, I want to like him and his generation, but please, black socks with his swimsuit? Even boomers stopped doing that. Sort of. Mostly.
Traveling Panty Spoiler #2 - Cringe worthy overheard remark; Taylor is overheard this week wondering if Adam is smarter than they think he is. (Don't you just love those Millennials?) This coming from Taylor? Who is dumber than the majority of the coconuts that have obviously dropped on his head? Ironically, it is Adam who is smart enough to break up Figtails.
Traveling Panty Spoiler #3 - Shout out; Where is Moley? That nautilus snuffer is a work of art. Take a break from those school chores, I think that thing needs some bragging on!
Traveling Panty Spoiler #4; - Cry out; Would it be an unforgivable breach of Millennial PC to mention that Dave looks like a concentration camp rescuee? Probably would. So, as a conciliatory gesture to some super sensitive Mills that I have had the displeasure of meeting recently, lets make it 'Refugee camp' escapee. (Sorry, sore point with me. I'll get over it. I just needed to vent).
Traveling Panty Spoiler #5; - Spoiler; Taylor is now going to abandoned his strategy (hee hee, Taylor's strategy, hee hee, that's funny) and just go for revenge. We all know how that will turn out.
You know, just like with the Gen-Xers, I am trying to like the Millennials. Taylor makes that so hard to do.
Traveling Panty Spoiler #6; - Advice from the Pornstache; It isn't a good idea to go into spastic fits of joy (another Millennial PC breach?) when ever you find an HII. It's only worth celebrating when you find out how to use it, and even then, just celebrate inside your head. The HII is a tool, using it is an art.
Traveling Panty Spoiler #7; - Funny moments: Figgy directing Ken into ball high post collisions. Not funny for Ken, but I laughed.
Traveling Panty Spoiler #8; - Sitting out a challenge is just so hard; That challenge was just too much for Hannah. Her only duty was to sit in the shade and breathe, and somehow that was too much to expect from her, she breathed too hard and almost died.
Traveling Panty Spoiler #9; - Root; Go Michaela. Try and tone down your out loud observations, you give too much away like that, but you go girl. You're my favorite right now, which unfortunately means you will soon be evicted (see, I did turn this into a spoiler. So there!)
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